0:01

Joe Rogan

0:04

podcast,

0:07

check it

0:10

out! The

0:13

Joe Rogan

0:16

experience! Train

0:18

by day! Joe Rogan

0:21

podcast by night! All

0:23

day! I love a

0:26

real hug, yeah, a

0:28

real hug where someone

0:31

loves you. Yeah. You

0:33

know, you know, I love you. So I

0:36

give you a love hug. I know you

0:38

love me. We've been friends for a long time,

0:40

brother. I know. Really have. It's nice,

0:42

like, having friends that you've

0:44

been friends with for just decades,

0:46

you know. I always say, I've said

0:49

this to that before, but I always

0:51

say, you're like, I never had a

0:53

brother growing up. And you're, you've

0:55

always been pretty honest with me, a

0:57

big brother would be. and you've always

1:00

come from a place of love. I

1:02

remember the whole reason my whole, I was

1:04

doing nothing and fucking nothing. I'm sitting in

1:06

the back stage of the store with you

1:09

and you look to you, you look just,

1:11

you go, Tommy's doing theaters. And

1:13

I said, okay. And you need, you need, you

1:15

need to be doing theaters. I was like, okay.

1:17

And you need, you need to be doing

1:19

theaters. I was like, you need to be

1:22

doing theaters. And I was like, that's the

1:24

kind of. Mentorship you look for

1:26

in a friend. That's who you want

1:28

to be around. Surround yourself with great

1:30

white sharks and people think you're a

1:32

great white shark. Well, you were always

1:34

really fun and really funny, but you

1:36

were always doing these travel channel shows.

1:38

Yeah. And this is what drove me

1:40

crazy. I remember the day. We've talked

1:42

about it before, but I remember the

1:44

day. I was in the comedy store and

1:47

I was calling you from the main room and

1:49

you were on a motorcycle in

1:51

Vietnam. I was drunk and hot.

1:53

Two things you're not supposed to

1:56

be on a motorcycle, no helmet

1:58

and flip flops. Which is by

2:00

the way, it's a fun way to

2:03

catch somebody when you call someone and

2:05

you're gonna go on stage in like

2:07

20 minutes I'm just checking in on

2:09

you see what's going on and you

2:11

run a fucking motorcycle in Vietnam. I'm

2:14

laughing But then I was like dude,

2:16

you really need to dedicate yourself to

2:18

stand up like this is a trap

2:20

It's a velvet prison. These TV shows

2:22

are a velvet prison. And when you're

2:25

on the travel channel, you're not even

2:27

getting, you're making great money, right? But

2:29

you're not getting, I can retire now

2:31

money. No. There's no fuck you money.

2:33

It's I can live well money. You

2:36

know, it's a great job. But it's

2:38

one of those jobs where at a

2:40

certain point in time, you gotta go,

2:42

okay, I have to jump ship. Like.

2:45

You know, I can't keep doing this.

2:47

Like this is gonna fuck up everything

2:49

else I'm doing. It's hard to pull

2:51

that trigger too because like with kids

2:53

and a family and a house and

2:56

you go, yep, yep, yep. And you

2:58

go, okay, it's not great money, but

3:00

it's good money. And the road was

3:02

not great money and I remember you

3:04

saying, you need a Netflix special. I

3:07

remember you saying that to me, on

3:09

that motorcycle, I'm sitting, I had headsetsets

3:11

and I was listening to the doors,

3:13

magic caravan, magic caravan, Spanish caravan, Spanish

3:15

caravan. And I was flying, I was

3:18

high, there were oxen on either side

3:20

of me, the sun was setting, and

3:22

you're like, dude, this is who you

3:24

are, fuck that travel channel bullshit, get

3:26

away from it, you need to focus

3:29

on stand up in your podcast. Yeah.

3:31

And I was like, yeah, you're like,

3:33

you're the fucking machine. If you don't

3:35

talk about this on stage, then you're

3:38

not doing yourself, you're doing yourself with

3:40

a service. and you know everyone's just

3:42

having a great time and you get

3:44

to see them at their best and

3:46

when you're crying laughing just hanging out

3:49

talking to a guy you're like this

3:51

guy's got it he's just got to

3:53

figure out how to get rid of

3:55

all the other shit in his life

3:57

and focus on that because you were

4:00

always so fucking funny and I was

4:02

like how is this guy doing these

4:04

shows where he's letting people hurt him

4:06

and all this like what do we're

4:08

doing hurt Bert? I was like what

4:11

are you doing? Don't get hurt and

4:13

then I just that also i'd gone

4:15

through it with fear Fear Factor was

4:17

a great job. Don't get me wrong.

4:19

Very happy that I got it. It

4:22

was wonderful. It gave me fuck you

4:24

money. It gave me the ability to

4:26

do whatever I want after that. But

4:28

it was a thing where I was

4:30

like, this is not what I want

4:33

to do. What I want to do

4:35

is what I always do. Just stand

4:37

up, have fun. You know, if I

4:39

was, I was doing the UFC back

4:42

then too. So I was like, do

4:44

the UFC commentary, things I love doing.

4:46

That's what I want to be doing.

4:48

I don't want to be doing just

4:50

a job. Jobs are great. Don't get

4:53

me wrong. Thankful, I got it, but

4:55

at a certain point, but at a

4:57

certain point, but at a certain point,

4:59

if you want to reach your full

5:01

potential, you have to realize like this

5:04

is holding me back. I got to

5:06

go. I remember those times, I remember

5:08

people saying, because I knew you were,

5:10

I knew you as Joe to stand

5:12

up. And I remember people saying, he

5:15

does comedy? And I was like, no,

5:17

that's what he does. Like he's not

5:19

an actor, he's not a host, he's

5:21

a comedian. But that's understandable, right? Like

5:23

my stand-up, I'd only done like a

5:26

couple things that were out, that were

5:28

available, and I was on the hugest

5:30

show. In television, Fear Factor was fucking

5:32

gigantic. It was massive. It was massive.

5:35

Monday nights? Yeah. It was a fun

5:37

job. You know it was a big

5:39

show when 20 years later you remember

5:41

the night it was on. But this

5:43

is what's important. Even though it was

5:46

the number one show in the country,

5:48

I still had that feeling. I don't

5:50

want to really be dealing this. I'm

5:52

happy to do it. I'm very thankful

5:54

that I got the job. I worked

5:57

with some amazing people. It was a

5:59

lot of fun. We had a great

6:01

crew. We had a great crew. Really

6:03

fun time. Really fun time. Really fun

6:05

time. But I didn't want to do

6:08

it. I wanted to do this. This

6:10

is what I didn't know I wanted

6:12

to do this because this wasn't a

6:14

thing. You know, but once I figured

6:16

it out, I was like, oh, this

6:19

is what I want to do. I

6:21

want to do this and stand up.

6:23

And the UFC, which is like, to

6:25

me, it's not even a job. It's

6:28

like a vacation. It's crazy watching you

6:30

operate in the UFC and seeing that

6:32

mechanism and to think when you started

6:34

when you started that, when you started

6:36

that, FC's been for you? Oh for

6:39

me it was 97. I know but

6:41

walking in the other day and I

6:43

was like oh this has been Joe's

6:45

life for fucking 26 years. Well you

6:47

know if you want if you're a

6:50

person who's a martial artist and you're

6:52

a fan of martial arts If you

6:54

get a job to do that, like

6:56

if you get a job to talk

6:58

about martial arts and to express your

7:01

love for it and your appreciation for

7:03

the athletes, appreciation for the fighters and

7:05

what they have to go through to

7:07

get to where they're at and the

7:09

magnitude of their accomplishments and to put

7:12

words to that. To be able to

7:14

do that for a living, that's on

7:16

honor. That's how I feel. It's an

7:18

honor. It's an honor. And I feel

7:20

like I do a good job at

7:23

it. Because it's a job, I do

7:25

it because I love it. Like, I

7:27

don't need to do it. I could

7:29

have quit a long time ago. It

7:32

does, like, I could just watch it,

7:34

like, we're doing a fight companion this

7:36

weekend. It's gonna be fun. We're gonna

7:38

hang out. What are you doing Saturday?

7:40

I don't know. Oh, I'm in Vegas.

7:43

Are you really? I have two shows

7:45

in Vegas this weekend. Oh, nice. Oh,

7:47

I should say, my special, Lucky. is

7:49

streaming right now and left Netflix. Right

7:51

now. Right now. I say lucky. I

7:54

say lucky because I am the luckiest

7:56

fucking guy in the world. I really

7:58

am. When you think about like finding

8:00

the friends I did later in life,

8:02

you know, like at like 37 or

8:05

38 when I started meeting all you

8:07

guys and hanging out with you guys,

8:09

and then, you know, being, getting into

8:11

comedy at the time I did. Like

8:13

we got into comedy when no one,

8:16

it wasn't a job, it was like,

8:18

it was weird, it was like joining

8:20

the fucking circus. It was. And I

8:22

got only got into comedy because I

8:25

got discovered by Rolling Stone magazine as

8:27

the number one party in the country.

8:29

I mean what are the fucking odds

8:31

of my life tracking out? So I,

8:33

I, I, it's why I named it

8:36

lucky. Well we're all very lucky. If

8:38

you're listening to this, you're very lucky,

8:40

because you can fucking here. How about

8:42

that? If you're watching it, you're very

8:44

lucky that you can see. You're very

8:47

lucky that you can afford a phone.

8:49

very lucky like most of the world

8:51

lives in utter poverty and that's the

8:53

unfortunate reality of all these people virtue

8:55

signaling about the 1% like bitch you're

8:58

in the 1% there's so the 1%

9:00

of the world diamonds in Sierra Leone

9:02

right now smoking brown brown and he's

9:04

11 okay make 34 thousand dollars in

9:06

America you're in the 1% of the

9:09

world how about that wow yep that's

9:11

real my great my father-in-law still isn't

9:13

in that 1% of the world I'm

9:15

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9:17

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9:20

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9:22

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10:28

the description. I always think Lucky is

10:30

a perspective. You work hard, dude. You're

10:33

not just lucky. You work hard. You

10:35

work real hard. You're always touring, you're

10:37

always doing things, you're always putting together

10:39

new shit, you're always working, you're always

10:41

hustling. Like it's not just luck. It's

10:44

luck plus, you know, you love to

10:46

party, but you also have a great

10:48

work ethic. And that's very, very important,

10:50

man. It's like, you can't just be

10:52

lucky. Lucky. Lucky is huge. You got

10:55

to get lucky. But also if you

10:57

work really hard, you tend to get

10:59

luckier, especially if you're smart, and if

11:01

you're willing to take risks. Like for

11:03

you, the Travel Channel thing, that was

11:06

a risk. You had to, you had

11:08

to listen to your friends, and you

11:10

had to go, you know what, they're

11:12

fucking right, everybody else is cooking right

11:15

now, and my stand-ups kind of stalled

11:17

out because I'm doing this TV show.

11:19

And again, it's coming from someone who

11:21

was there. And I'm telling you that

11:23

if you're smart and if you're smart,

11:26

you're smart, you're smart, you're smart, you're,

11:28

you're, you're, you're, you're making millions, you're

11:30

making millions, you're making millions, you're making

11:32

millions, you're making millions, and you're making

11:34

millions, and you're making millions, and you're

11:37

making millions, and you're making millions, and

11:39

you're making millions, and you're making millions,

11:41

and you're making millions, and you're, and

11:43

you're, and you Versus if you're making

11:45

thousands you steal from the other way,

11:48

you gotta trust me. There's another way

11:50

to get through this. And the other

11:52

way we found. We got, you know,

11:54

we were right. Yeah. Look, we fucking

11:56

saw light at the end of the

11:59

tunnel. We're like, this is the way

12:01

to go. And we were right. I

12:03

remember you telling all of us, you

12:05

guys need a podcast, and I remember

12:07

saying to Tom, he's out of his

12:10

mind. Why don't we just do his?

12:12

No, everybody thought I was out of

12:14

my mind for even doing mine. Like

12:16

people mocked me openly, like Howard Stern

12:19

famously mocked all people that were doing

12:21

podcasts, you could waste your time. But

12:23

in his mind, that was correct, because

12:25

he didn't have this, he wasn't an

12:27

internet kid, you know, I'm not an

12:30

internet kid, but you know, I used

12:32

to build my own computers. the 90s.

12:34

I used to go to Fry's Electronics

12:36

and get motherboards and hard drives and

12:38

yeah my friend Andrew used to help

12:41

me over the phone I'd call him

12:43

he's a like a wizard tech guy

12:45

and so like I had bought all

12:47

these like high-end gaming computers and upgraded

12:49

the video cards and I was on

12:52

all these like crazy websites we'd send

12:54

each other like you know those are

12:56

the two girls one cup days like

12:58

so I was pretty plugged in was

13:00

Mr. smiles or something mr. hands mr.

13:03

hands keep going so there was I

13:05

was pretty plugged in to the idea

13:07

that the internet was something that people

13:09

were finding stuff that just wasn't available

13:12

anywhere else. I got all these like

13:14

crazy lectures these Alan Watts lectures that

13:16

I downloaded. I'm like this is nuts.

13:18

That's back when you had to download

13:20

stuff and then you had to upload

13:23

it to an air pod. Remember your

13:25

airpods with the wheel? Oh yeah. Those

13:27

were the shit. Oh I remember that.

13:29

I would download all these Terence McKenna

13:31

lectures and all these Timothy Leary, all

13:34

these like fascinating conversations. I would download

13:36

and then I started thinking about it

13:38

and then I was like, well. There's

13:40

podcast so people just like start well,

13:42

let's just start doing one of those

13:45

We just start doing it. And I

13:47

was like nobody was listening to them

13:49

It was like Adam Corolla had a

13:51

big one because Adam had just left

13:53

terrestrial radio He was the morning guy

13:56

that replaced Howard Stern when Howard Stern

13:58

went to XM, right? So he's he's

14:00

on or serious whatever it was so

14:02

it's both now, right? They're coming. So

14:05

he's on morning radio all over the

14:07

country, but morning radio is like super

14:09

stagnant and they had an radio station

14:11

where it was all more, excuse me,

14:13

talk radio station, where it was all

14:16

talk radio. So it was Tom Likas,

14:18

it was him, it was, there was

14:20

a few other people, I can't remember,

14:22

Ricky Rockman had a show. Yeah, Phil

14:24

Hendry, I think. He got a different

14:27

show. Oh yeah. Phil Henry was an

14:29

AM guy. He was, that was the

14:31

greatest, that was the greatest, one of

14:33

the greatest, damn shows in the world.

14:35

It's one of the greatest shows of

14:38

all time. And he's a super nice

14:40

guy. I met him once in Montreal.

14:42

So for people who don't know, Phil

14:44

Hendry, he's the caller and he's the

14:46

answer. He does different voices. And he

14:49

gets people so angry, because the callers

14:51

were saying the dumbest fucking shit. And

14:53

then you'll have actual people calling and

14:55

arguing with the caller who's all Phil

14:57

Hendry. Yeah. I remember sitting next to

15:00

my dad's bed, my dad's in his

15:02

underwear, and he's got his alarm clock,

15:04

and we're listening to it. My dad's

15:06

just like this, and my bad guy

15:09

goes, buddy. He's both of them. I

15:11

was like, what? He goes, this is

15:13

all him. Yeah. And you're just like,

15:15

whoa. I mean, it was so ahead

15:17

of its time. So ahead of its

15:20

time. And once you were in on

15:22

the joke, it was amazing. Oh, it

15:24

was amazing. If I was coming home

15:26

from the store, is Phil Henry or

15:28

Art Bell? That was all I listened

15:31

to. God. The old days. So Art

15:33

Bell was my favorite. Art Bell was

15:35

coast to coast with Art Bell from

15:37

the kingdom of Nye. He was broadcasting

15:39

from the. bunker in the middle of

15:42

the Nevada Desert. He wasn't, he like

15:44

had like this crazy radio tower outside

15:46

of his house in the Nevada Desert

15:48

and he would have, he would take

15:50

calls from time travelers, where wolves, people

15:53

that are coming from another dimension. Like

15:55

it was the nuddiest fucking show. For

15:57

real, like one of my greatest career

15:59

accomplishments that like made me the most

16:02

happy was I got on the Art

16:04

Bell show. and I got on it

16:06

like way later when he was on

16:08

the internet it wasn't even on radio

16:10

anywhere but for me it was like

16:13

I got on the art bell show

16:15

yes it was just like I just

16:17

loved that show it was so fun

16:19

because I'd be driving on that's that

16:21

looks that was his house so look

16:24

at if you see like what his

16:26

house looked like it's like his house

16:28

is in the middle of nowhere in

16:30

the fucking desert I mean the middle

16:32

of nowhere there's nothing around his house

16:35

and his house is all fenced in

16:37

like chaste link fence and shit it

16:39

looks like so it looks so psychotic

16:41

like perfect for a guy that is

16:43

broadcasting he's got like this compound in

16:46

the fucking desert dude God. Yeah, it

16:48

was amazing. And he would broadcast right

16:50

from there. Because radio, if you have

16:52

a tower and you have a station,

16:54

you could broadcast the whole country. The

16:57

country can carry it. So the whole

16:59

country was carrying coast to coast with

17:01

our bell. And this wild motherfucker is

17:03

out in the middle of nowhere in

17:06

the desert in like a compound. talking

17:08

to aliens they were doing they were

17:10

doing what we're doing now way before

17:12

before before the oh yes well we

17:14

owe all we have today to Howard

17:17

Stern and Art Bell for sure because

17:19

you know we are kind of like

17:21

a combination of Howard Stern and Art

17:23

Bell and and if it wasn't for

17:25

the it wasn't for He's the guy

17:28

that got arrested or didn't get arrested,

17:30

he got fined heavily by the Bush

17:32

administration. This is back when the Republicans

17:34

were the ones that were trying to

17:36

censor people, which you should always realize.

17:39

This fucking stupid game that people play

17:41

back and forth with, you know, who

17:43

loves war, who hates war, who loves

17:45

censorship, who hates censorship. It's a political

17:47

beach ball that they toss around at

17:50

a concert to keep people occupied. These

17:52

motherfuckers switch sides, all right, that should

17:54

tell you enough, alone, alone, by yourself.

17:56

by itself right there as they fucking

17:59

switch sides but he was getting attacked

18:01

for obscenity so he put like whatever

18:03

they would do and they were they

18:05

find what was the total amount that

18:07

Howard Stern was fined this has to

18:10

be you got a neurotic guy as

18:12

it is right who's also the most

18:14

pioneering radio guy of all time right

18:16

he's the guy that changed radio from

18:18

DJ's playing records to just talking and

18:21

talking in your authentic voice and not

18:23

hey welcome back talking in your authentic

18:25

voice and having wild shit on the

18:27

radio two point $2.5 million between 1990

18:29

and 2004. So they've fucked with him

18:32

for 14 years. 14 years. And that's

18:34

not paid by the station. That's paid

18:36

by him. Fine owners of radio station

18:38

licenses that carried the Howard Stern show.

18:40

A total of 2.5 million for content

18:43

and considered to be indecent. Indecent. So

18:45

all the stuff that we do on

18:47

podcast right now, we would 100% have

18:49

been fined. 100% I would have been

18:52

off the air a long time ago.

18:54

It was real censorship, but it was

18:56

just done under the guise of, you

18:58

know, broadcast, like the ideas like if

19:00

you're going to broadcast something on a

19:03

major network like NBC, CBS, they have

19:05

rules to language in what you're allowed

19:07

to show, which is kind of crazy.

19:09

Like, why do you have those rules?

19:11

Like, why do those rules exist? To

19:14

keep obscenity from television and like... Maybe

19:16

that was a good idea in 1950,

19:18

but people didn't know any better. But

19:20

now that we know better, like why

19:22

do you have rules like that? I

19:25

can't believe that radio still has those

19:27

rules. Hardcore slippery. You can say dickhead.

19:29

You can't say cut. But you can't

19:31

say suck my dick. You can't say

19:33

anything you want to say. Like sometimes,

19:36

Kunt's the right words. Every now and

19:38

then, it's the right word when used

19:40

correctly. But like... If you can't say

19:42

it, then you can't fully express yourself.

19:44

And if you don't like people fully

19:47

expressing themselves, because you don't like certain

19:49

sounds, I suggest you grow the fuck

19:51

up. That's a ridiculous way to think.

19:53

If I can say cock, but I

19:56

can't say cock sucker. If I could

19:58

say dick, like dick Cheney, but I

20:00

can't say suck a dick. Like, what

20:02

are we doing? It's the same sound.

20:04

You're making the same sound. I can

20:07

say pussy cat Pussy cat's fine, you

20:09

know, you can't say n-word breakfast You

20:11

know what I'm saying? Can you ever

20:13

look both ways? You gotta be black,

20:15

but you know what I'm saying like

20:18

you if you want to say certain

20:20

words that are forbidden words sometimes they're

20:22

okay so it's the sound is sometimes

20:24

this episode is brought to you by

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only. It even gets trickier, like there

21:59

was a video I was cutting to

22:01

promote my tour or whatever, and it's

22:04

me on a, or the special, and

22:06

it's me on... to vote and there's

22:08

this there's this page I'm really obsessed

22:10

with it's it's fat n-word season Joe

22:12

is so addictive because it's and it's

22:15

just it's all AI and I think

22:17

they're promoting a crypto coin of course

22:19

and I was like and I didn't

22:21

like to edit so I go hey

22:23

put fat n-n-word summer play that song

22:26

and it's function so much funnier Joe

22:28

It's so much funnier with me shirtless

22:30

on a boat, but these guys are

22:32

great. But my wife saw it. She

22:34

was like, that's offensive. I was like,

22:37

no. She's right. Yeah, and then I

22:39

said it to Tommy. I go, is

22:41

this racist? And he was like, sent

22:43

to the wrong guy. All Tom sends

22:46

me videos of fat black chicks on

22:48

ropes wins. Our

22:50

whole thread is just any time a

22:53

chick takes an L off a cliff.

22:55

God, I gotta get on that threat

22:57

because the ones me and Tommy are

22:59

on is horrible. What's that one? It's

23:01

all murder. Oh yeah, that's the other

23:04

side of his brain. Murder and car

23:06

accidents. Today was a car accident. I

23:08

was escaping the cops and the guy

23:10

flips this van multiple times, gets thrown

23:12

into traffic and then run over by

23:15

cars. And it's just splatter fest. I

23:17

can't watch those. I was telling someone.

23:19

My niece had my phone, my niece

23:21

had my phone, and she's like for

23:23

three, and you don't, you forget what

23:26

your algorithm looks like. And she, it

23:28

was, and it was fed on where

23:30

summer song came on, and she's like,

23:32

I'm a bird, and then the next

23:34

video is a chick pissing on the

23:37

past thousand feet's head. And I was

23:39

like, go, maybe you shouldn't use my

23:41

phone to relax with. My kids know

23:43

better, don't work with my phone, my

23:45

algorithm's all history. A lot of my

23:48

YouTube algorithm lately has been like watching

23:50

people build things. I love like cabinet

23:52

makers and carpenters or this is one

23:54

guy who makes these specialized desks. that

23:56

have like secret drawers and shit. I

23:58

follow that guy. Where you put your

24:01

hand here and a magnet comes up

24:03

and a wand comes out and he

24:05

waves it. Yeah. Those deaths are bad-ass.

24:07

Yeah, I wave the wand and the

24:09

keyboard rolls out. Like yeah, it's pretty

24:12

dope. There's a bunch of those guys

24:14

that make these like super ingenious like

24:16

homemade artisan desks. Yeah that or if

24:18

you get me a chick with no

24:20

bra doing survival techniques in the woods.

24:23

Oh yeah, the fucking I'm in. That's

24:25

a cell. I've watched so many of

24:27

those just rock card nipples. Hot chicks

24:29

have found their way into basically all

24:31

walks of life as influencers You know,

24:34

there's like hot chick hunters. There's hot

24:36

chick jujitsu girls. There's hot chick crossfitters

24:38

There's definitely a hot chip golfers. Oh

24:40

a lot of that I ran into

24:42

page Spiranek in at the Super Bowl

24:45

and I was like I had to

24:47

be real because I'm a golfer I

24:49

was like I follow you for your

24:51

swing. You have a great swing right

24:53

but then you know what's crazy about

24:56

page? She can't Uh, snap her fingers

24:58

or whistle? Uh, how'd you find that

25:00

out? Because we were playing a game

25:02

like weird things about us and she

25:04

was like, I can't, I can't snap

25:06

my fingers and I watched her and

25:09

she went like this. She was like,

25:11

and I go, and she was like,

25:13

I can't whistle and starts one. How

25:15

could you not snap your fingers? I

25:17

have no idea. She's the most followed

25:20

golfer, Joe. And she's the most followed

25:22

golfer, Joe. And she's the most followed

25:24

golfer Joe. And she's not a professional.

25:26

Yeah, if you're hot, you could do

25:28

a lot in this world. And you'd

25:31

also not whistle and snap. You don't

25:33

have to snap. No, you don't snap.

25:35

Do you care? Yeah, she's super hot.

25:37

But she does have a great swing.

25:39

I bet she does. Jesus, Christ. And

25:42

if she's not wearing a broad, it's

25:44

so good. Look at that. Well, just

25:46

watch, she's got so many followers. She's

25:48

got a golf. Yeah, yeah. I don't

25:50

even know if I saw any movement.

25:53

I think, I swear to God if

25:55

I had tits. You want to talk

25:57

about Lucky? Yeah. That's the Willy Wonka

25:59

golden ticket, being a super hot woman.

26:01

All you have to do is be

26:04

nice, and doors just open up everywhere.

26:06

Like, da, da, da, da, da. She's

26:08

here. If you're that hot, anywhere you

26:10

go. What, red carpets get rolled out,

26:12

roses get thrown at your feet? She

26:14

was walking down a radio row at

26:17

Super Bowl and with Cam Hayward. Creepers

26:19

launch themselves at you. You're never invisible.

26:21

Guys are fucking with you all the

26:23

time. Overconfident guys are hitting on you

26:25

all the time and then getting really

26:28

mean when you reject them. That's the

26:30

thing that chicks have to deal with.

26:32

They have to deal with like angry

26:34

guys that like are angry that they

26:36

get rejected and they start insulting them

26:39

and yelling at them and like that's

26:41

scary shit, man. That's scary shit. Think

26:43

about all our friends, all our female

26:45

comedians and have stalkers. I mean, like,

26:47

it's so, you work your ass off

26:50

as a comic, you happen to be

26:52

pretty, you start killing it, and then

26:54

all the fucking psychos come out of

26:56

the woodwork. And you don't have any

26:58

money, so, you know, probably live in

27:01

a place it's easy to get to.

27:03

That's crazy. Yeah, I don't, uh... Yeah,

27:05

it's dangerous. There's a lot of fucking...

27:07

Well, we need better mental health care

27:09

in this fucking country. And there's a

27:11

lot of people out there that are

27:14

out of their fucking mind. And if

27:16

no one's paying attention to them, or

27:18

checking in on them, like imagine your

27:20

average guy who loses his fucking mind

27:22

and you're a 40 year old guy

27:25

who works at a gas station. You've

27:27

been working out of that gas station

27:29

for 20 years and no one's paying

27:31

attention. And you're just slowly losing your

27:33

fucking mind. and you know you think

27:36

Jared Lado is Satan and that you

27:38

know you've decided that like someone's sending

27:40

you code on television and and then

27:42

you lock on to some female comedian

27:44

and like that's your target that's who

27:47

you're it's kind of feel nice though

27:49

what to be the lunatic No, just

27:51

to have something. Something is wrong with

27:53

you. Have something to focus on. Don't

27:55

encourage this. Have something to focus on.

27:58

Play video games, guys. Get involved and

28:00

call a duty. Okay, you don't have

28:02

to fucking go stock people. Find something

28:04

productive. Play online chess, you fucking psycho.

28:06

You don't have to go stock people.

28:09

I always had that brain that, you

28:11

know, I'd see something like a new

28:13

addiction come up, like cutting. And I'd

28:15

go, I wonder what that does. Like

28:17

I was always looking for something. like

28:19

that you know yeah like like uh

28:22

not gonna ever do eating disorder that

28:24

was too tough for me but uh

28:26

hey how about when we're at dinner

28:28

with that guy and he went you

28:30

do that was funny and he was

28:33

funny that was funny and he was

28:35

I wasn't trying to be rude he

28:37

was definitely trying to be rude he

28:39

was being funny we were talking shit

28:41

That's Taylor. Taylor Sheridan. He was awesome,

28:44

dude. Yeah, I like how you call

28:46

him that guy. Well, I didn't want

28:48

to blow his spot up. Yeah, it's

28:50

like he. Dude, he's, let me tell

28:52

you something. I'm gonna give props to

28:55

Taylor Sheridan. I haven't said this to

28:57

anyone. I try to keep those moments

28:59

that, you know, you have with those

29:01

guys private. So a little bit of

29:03

a party snitch for a while. But

29:06

like, he's a great American storyteller. He

29:08

really is. When he says, when he

29:10

tells you anything about his life or

29:12

what he's doing, or breaking, or he

29:14

doesn't even call breaking a horse, I

29:17

see it, he calls it a different

29:19

term. But I'm sitting there going like,

29:21

this is, I mean, and it's gonna

29:23

be. slanderous a little bit, you know,

29:25

considering difference of time of where they

29:27

were, but like, it's like having dinner

29:30

with Ernest Hemingway. He's created some of

29:32

the greatest content out there. Yellowstone? You

29:34

can't compare him to Ernest Hemingway, because

29:36

Andersonway is dead and alleged. That's the

29:38

problem. Okay. But he's amazing. But amazing.

29:41

Do you ever see that hell or

29:43

high water? You ever see that film?

29:45

No. Oh my God. It's one of

29:47

his films. Oh. Terilish film. Yeah. Yeah.

29:49

It's fucking great. It's fucking great. This

29:53

fucking movie dude this fucking movie

29:55

is incredible Jeff Bridges isn't it?

29:57

Yeah, I've seen this it's about

29:59

bank robbers these criminals in a

30:01

small town it's fucking good dude

30:03

I think what's his name's in

30:05

this oh shit we have a

30:07

friend in this who's your friend

30:10

no I mean you I think

30:12

it's our friend I don't know

30:14

who it is though I forget

30:16

okay Jamie go to the cast

30:18

who's in that God Ben Foster

30:20

is so fucking good. That guy's

30:22

so good. You know what that

30:24

guy was in that's super underrated

30:26

one of his performances because it's

30:28

such a wacky movie? 30 days

30:31

of night. Did you ever see

30:33

30 days of night? No, what's

30:35

30 days of night? 30 days

30:37

of night is the second best

30:39

vampire movie of all time is

30:41

the most recent Nosforato. That's the

30:43

best vampire movie of all time.

30:45

The one that just came out.

30:47

The one that just came out.

30:49

The one that just came out.

30:52

The best vampire movie of all

30:54

time. Is it streaming yet? Yeah,

30:56

yeah, yeah. I can't wait. It's

30:58

on Apple. But this was 30

31:00

days of night was a movie

31:02

where Ben Foster played like a

31:04

vampire familiar and these vampires would

31:06

go to, they went to Alaska

31:08

in the middle of the winter

31:10

where it's dark for 30 days.

31:13

And they're fucking terrifying vampires. They're

31:15

really fun. It's a really good...

31:17

And Ben Foster plays The Vampire

31:19

Familiar. You know, so the Familiar

31:21

is like, that's him and there.

31:24

What's a familiar a familiar is a

31:26

human that the vampires use to get

31:28

close to humans and they promise the

31:31

human that one day He'll have eternal

31:33

life and he'll be one of them

31:35

so the vampire Goes and and sets

31:37

up people for the vampire familiar sets

31:39

people up to be killed by the

31:41

vampires. Oh shut up. Yeah, I gotta

31:44

watch this dude. He was great in

31:46

in the The what was the movie

31:48

with where they kidnapped the kid Justin

31:50

Timberlake was in it raw dog not

31:52

raw dog But he's awesome. He's awesome.

31:54

Three, three, eleven, till Zuma or whatever?

31:57

I didn't see that one. Yuma. Oh

31:59

my God, he is. What is it,

32:01

Chairman? Three ten to Yuma. Three ten

32:03

to Yuma? I didn't see that. He

32:05

was great. And the Justin Timberlake movie

32:08

is called like Top Dog or something.

32:10

Alpha Dog. And he was just awesome

32:12

and he had a very small role.

32:14

He played the guy's older brother. And

32:16

it was just like. He's just he

32:18

just owns a screen. Yeah, he's a

32:21

beast. He's there's certain people that like

32:23

when they act just go God damn

32:25

I am not one of them so

32:27

good so good so good so it

32:29

makes a movie so much better makes

32:31

a it's so you just get dragged

32:34

into it. I think Jonah Ray is

32:36

probably the best comic actor out there

32:38

What has he been in? Jonah Ray?

32:40

Everything. When he was in war dogs

32:42

and he goes to buy drugs from

32:44

the black guys? I didn't see that

32:47

either. There's too much to see, Burke

32:49

Chrysler. Oh, man, I'm telling you, I'm

32:51

just starting now to just download stuff

32:53

and get off Instagram. And if I'm

32:55

going to bed, just turn on a

32:57

documentary. What does that mean by just

33:00

starting now to get off Instagram? Jonah

33:02

Hill. Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill, you mean?

33:04

What did I say? Jonah Hill, what

33:06

did I say. Jesus Christ. Okay, that's

33:08

why he confused. Sorry Jonah Ray. No,

33:11

Jonah Hill's awesome. Jonah Hill's fucking amazing.

33:13

Jonah Hill is amazing. He was in,

33:15

and then in Wardogs, he goes up

33:17

and buys black money, weed from the

33:19

back guys, and he's like, how much?

33:21

He got his 120 bucks, he gives

33:24

him the 120 bucks, and then he

33:26

just started to keep talking to himself,

33:28

and he's like, hey, he's got the

33:30

fuck out, and he's like, oh, okay,

33:32

okay, and he goes to the back,

33:34

and he goes to the back, and

33:37

he goes to the back, he goes

33:39

to the back, he goes to the

33:41

back, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,

33:43

he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,

33:45

he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,

33:47

he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he You

33:50

know, can you listen to me now?

33:52

He's just awesome, dude. Awesome, man. I

33:54

fucking love that guy. But yeah, uh...

33:56

There's too many movies to be paying

33:58

attention to these days. When I was

34:01

a kid, if you said you didn't

34:03

know, you never saw Apocalypse now, what

34:05

the fuck? You know, it's like, once

34:07

VHS tapes came out, you're supposed to

34:09

have seen the big ones. You didn't

34:11

see the Godfather? You didn't see Star

34:14

Wars? Are you out of your fucking

34:16

mind? But today. But today, it's like...

34:18

They never stopped making movies. They've never

34:20

stopped. They make new ones every year.

34:22

You can't keep up. There's no way.

34:24

And all the ones that were up

34:27

for Oscars, I saw none of those.

34:29

Well, they all involved chaos. But it's

34:31

like... They all involved the end of

34:33

civilization. If you want to win an

34:35

Oscar, you have to be... Trans Lives

34:37

Matter all the way. What do you

34:40

do to win an Oscar today? Like

34:42

you have to have something that's got

34:44

some meaning to it other than just

34:46

being a good movie. Right? Like there's

34:48

got to be some social justice aspect

34:50

to it. Wasn't it like something where

34:53

they were talking about... God damn it.

34:55

I can't remember what the article was

34:57

about. But it was about requirements for

34:59

a film to win an Oscar today,

35:01

what they believe to be requirements. So

35:04

I don't like awards. Do you know

35:06

what it is? There was something that

35:08

they were... It was just... representation and

35:10

inclusion standards that's it that's it that's

35:12

it that's not that's not the only

35:14

way to tell a story that's not

35:17

because if you do that you don't

35:19

get show gun okay oh you don't

35:21

get show gun you get it you

35:23

have an all-Japanese cast we want to

35:25

get show gun you know you can't

35:27

you can't have a fully diverse you

35:30

know 50-50 split of Whatever, everybody. You

35:32

can't? No. You have to tell a

35:34

specific kind of a movie. If you're

35:36

going to make a movie about the

35:38

Congo, you can't have white people play

35:40

native Congolese people. You can't have that.

35:43

So it's like some stories are not

35:45

diverse. It doesn't make them less valid.

35:47

It doesn't mean you're racist. It just

35:49

means that some stories take place in

35:51

Norway and they involve Vikings. Okay? This

35:54

is like just a part of human

35:56

history. You know, some places... Some stories

35:58

take place in Egypt and they involve

36:00

Africans, okay? It's like there's plenty of

36:02

room for every kind of fucking story

36:04

But if you only want like a

36:07

specific type of story to win an

36:09

Academy Award you don't get the godfauna

36:11

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37:16

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37:18

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37:20

Think about who were the Oscar winners

37:23

when we were kids? We're all fucking

37:25

banger movies that everyone saw. That everyone

37:27

saw. Best picture, one best picture because

37:29

it was best picture. Not because it

37:31

was the best picture about a trans

37:33

social worker that got abducted in Puts.

37:36

Exactly. Yeah, they got distorted. They got

37:38

distorted with what the job is. The

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job is just to purely entertain people

37:42

and with a great piece of work.

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That's all it is. That's the whole

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job. And that could be pulp fiction.

37:49

You know, there's no message and pulp

37:51

fiction. There's none. It's like, it's fucking

37:53

chaos. And it's amazing. We took away,

37:55

it was that white guys could see

37:57

the end work. We were like, all

38:00

right. You know, as long as you

38:02

have a gun in your hand, you

38:04

could do it. You could do it.

38:06

madness but it's amazing it's you can't

38:08

deny how great it is like that's

38:10

supposed to be what the best movie

38:13

is it's not supposed to be so

38:15

I don't even know if that won

38:17

best film did it win best film

38:19

did pulp fiction win best picture I

38:21

think he won best director it should

38:23

have won best picture him and Roger

38:26

Avery together who the fuck won best

38:28

pictures oh Oh, that's right. We actually

38:30

talked about that on the podcast. Actually,

38:32

Unforgiving that year, but I'm gonna even

38:34

make sure. Forgiving was a fucking great

38:37

movie. Gosh. That was, Clint East would

38:39

going back and cleaning up All's Old

38:41

Westerns. That's what that movie was. It's

38:43

like, let me show you who is

38:45

probably really like. Was really like, not,

38:47

not this. You know, fucking you, everybody's

38:50

looking at you sideways. Waw, waw, waw,

38:52

waw, waw. No, the reality was that

38:54

character that he played, that old assassin.

38:56

What year do you think movies stopped

38:58

being great movies and started being, like,

39:00

what year did we switch? I think

39:03

people are still making great movies. But

39:05

they're not winning Oscars. Well, I think

39:07

who cares? I really do. I think

39:09

the, once... Will Smith slapped Chris Rock,

39:11

the Oscars to me, like what? I'm

39:13

done. I'm done. I'm done. Like you

39:16

guys, and then they all applauded him

39:18

and gave him a standing ovation afterwards

39:20

when he won an Oscar? Like, I'm

39:22

done. Forest, Forest Gump. Forest Gump? Was

39:24

a banger. Look at every, hang on,

39:27

I saw every movie on there. Oh

39:29

my God. Every movie on there. Quiz

39:31

show? Quix show was great. I never

39:33

saw four winnings in a funeral. I

39:35

thought it was great though. Dude, it

39:37

made you want to date a fucking

39:40

British chick. I made you want to

39:42

have a rich friend, live in a

39:44

castle, get drunk, watch a friend die,

39:46

and fucking. Okay. Look at all these.

39:48

That makes sense. That was best film.

39:50

What a amazing year. Shawshank, pulp fiction.

39:53

Quix show was fucking great. Yeah. By

39:55

the way, that was a real thing.

39:57

Yeah. That's why there's like, there's all

39:59

sorts of rules if you're running a

40:01

game show, because I was on a

40:03

game show, Fear Factor. It was my

40:06

best way to get people away from

40:08

me, if they asked me, how do

40:10

we get on Fear Factor? I go,

40:12

if you want to get on, you

40:14

can't even talk to me, because if

40:16

you talk to me, then I'll have

40:19

previously known you, then it could be

40:21

seen that I helped you get on

40:23

the show, so I can't talk to

40:25

you. It was great. Sorry did they

40:27

have someone did they have someone like

40:30

really judging the how the like horse

40:32

sperm? Going like we got a like

40:34

like a like an official officiating it

40:36

because it was prize money Meaning

40:39

like the quiz quiz show was all

40:41

about them breaking the rules right and

40:43

you had to have someone a standards

40:46

and practice guy on your team Making

40:48

sure the game was fair for everyone

40:50

correct. Yeah, I think there was something

40:52

like that I think I guess the

40:54

network just did that I think we

40:57

kind of ran the idea or they

40:59

ran the ideas by the network and

41:01

the network decided You know whether or

41:03

not this was fair or what what

41:06

have you but everything was always fair

41:08

like that show was you know nobody

41:10

got knowledge of the stunt before they

41:12

got there we blindfolded everybody they were

41:14

traveling around in vans there would be

41:17

blindfolds sometimes they cover their ears so

41:19

they couldn't even hear and then they

41:21

would take their blindfolds off and then

41:23

right there and then they would take

41:25

their blindfolds off and then right there

41:28

and then they would find out what

41:30

they find out they got to get

41:32

covered in snakes or something like that

41:34

and we knew that someone had a

41:36

fear snakes you know It's a fucking

41:39

crazy show. But you know, it was

41:41

all fair. But that quiz show, they,

41:43

you know, they figured it out, like

41:45

the mob figured out the fucking lottery.

41:47

You know, Whitey Bulger won the lottery

41:50

twice. Did he really? Yeah. You know

41:52

how bold you have to be a

41:54

gangster in South Boston, and not just

41:56

win the lottery once, but win the

41:58

lottery twice? Like, see if you can

42:01

find that. How do you, wait, how

42:03

do you rig the numbers that big?

42:05

That's crazy. You can kind of get

42:07

away with stuff before the internet. Before

42:09

the internet, you can get away with

42:12

things like that. Where you can kind

42:14

of rig the lottery a couple of

42:16

times and everybody's like, why do you

42:18

want again? What the fuck? Oh, that's

42:20

great. When I was a kid and

42:23

I was living in Boston, I used

42:25

to teach one of his hit men,

42:27

Taek-Wondo. Wow, what's

42:29

it like teaching a hitman? It

42:31

was weird. Are they good students?

42:33

Yeah, he was very, very disciplined.

42:35

Yeah, he was like a known,

42:37

he was a known guy in

42:39

the South Boston Irish mob. And

42:41

he wanted to learn how to

42:44

fight. Lottery winner had been one

42:46

of Bulger's brilliant schemes to launder

42:48

his drug extortion loan sharking money

42:50

back in the summer, which makes

42:52

sense, right? What better way to

42:54

why do you have a Cadillac?

42:56

I won the fucking lottery. Yeah,

42:58

we're clear so you could have

43:00

all your shit so Bull. Millions

43:02

lottery ticket have been purchased to

43:04

the South Boston Liquor Mart by

43:06

Michael Linsky who was the brother

43:08

of a Bulger underling named Patrick

43:10

Linsky the FBI learned that once

43:12

Whitey heard about the jackpot He

43:14

ordered the real winner to sign

43:16

the ticket over with Whitey and

43:18

two associates paying 2.3 million dollars

43:20

in cash for 50% of the

43:22

win seven hundred thousand all the

43:24

linsky lost money in the deal

43:26

he really had no choice he

43:28

came down to selling the ticket

43:30

or risking his life Kevin Weeks

43:32

whose name also appeared in the

43:34

winning lottery the winning ticket later

43:36

claimed that linsky purchased a large

43:38

batch of tickets to hand out

43:40

his Christmas gifts and promised to

43:42

split any winnings with bulger in

43:44

weeks but week story makes little

43:46

sense the so-called Christmas gifts were

43:48

purchased during the dog days of

43:50

summer so they did it The

43:52

scam set up a 20-year legitimate

43:54

income stream for Whitey where he

43:56

earned $119,000. year. Oh wow, that's

43:58

brilliant. Yeah, so that's what he

44:00

did. He found out that somebody

44:02

wanted, he's totally tuned into the

44:04

neighborhood, find that guy, fuck him

44:06

over, take his ticket, look I

44:08

won the lottery. And you have

44:10

no choice. It's just like when

44:12

the guy hit Gotti's grandson of

44:14

the car? Right. Yeah, you got

44:17

to die now. Yeah, if you

44:19

lived in that. that time like

44:21

in the 1980s when I used

44:23

to teach this guy Taekwondo like

44:25

you would always hear about hits

44:27

I knew a guy who got

44:29

arrested I don't know if he

44:31

did it he was a guy

44:33

that I was friends with his

44:35

name was Richie I was friends

44:37

with him before he went to

44:39

jail and then I was kind

44:41

of friends with him when he

44:43

got out of jail before I

44:45

realized that he was like very

44:47

dangerous now. He was a completely

44:49

different person. So he went away

44:51

to jail. He was a little

44:53

older than me. I was 18

44:55

so he was probably 20 or

44:57

21 and he went to jail

44:59

on some some kind of gun

45:01

charge or drug charge. So he

45:03

comes out of jail a few

45:05

years later and he's an animal.

45:07

and he's seen way too much.

45:09

He was telling me stories about

45:11

fights that he used to get

45:13

into in the jail where he

45:15

did... beat some guy half to

45:17

death with a broom handle and

45:19

that you're fighting for your life

45:21

in there. It's like every day

45:23

you're fighting for it. And he

45:25

knew how to fight. He was,

45:27

you know, I trained with him.

45:29

That's where I knew him. I

45:31

knew him from Taekwondo. And he

45:33

was just telling me about fights.

45:35

He was like, you have to

45:37

fight. There's nothing you could do.

45:39

It's constant. You're constantly on edge.

45:41

I'm like, He was doing a

45:43

lot of coke. He would train,

45:45

and when you would train with

45:47

him, it was a fight. I

45:50

mean, it was a fight. It

45:52

wasn't, you were fighting for your

45:54

life. You know, I broke his

45:56

whole face once. I hit him

45:58

with a wheel kick in the

46:00

head, because we were fighting, man.

46:02

I mean, we were fighting. And

46:04

there was no one there, by

46:06

the way. It was my gym,

46:08

so it was just me and

46:10

him, like, literally fighting. He was

46:12

just attack you. Like, it wasn't

46:14

like a technical sparring thing. And

46:16

back then, I felt like I

46:18

was a pussy if I didn't

46:20

spar with anybody who wanted to

46:22

spar. Not hurt each other. Yeah,

46:24

and then other people you knew

46:26

you were fighting you it was

46:28

a bomb guys get knocked out

46:30

all the time I saw dozens

46:32

of guys get knocked out in

46:34

the gym all the time I

46:36

did a lot of it. It

46:38

was scary. It was scary It

46:40

was scary. You would be super

46:42

nervous before class. You'd be super

46:44

you have that and you're doing

46:46

class every day that's happening every

46:48

day all the time I would

46:50

be I have anxiety I have

46:52

anxiety getting on planes. You're sparring

46:54

three or four days a week

46:56

If you're smart, you have to

46:58

stay sharp. So you have to

47:00

be able to get his face?

47:02

Broke his face, and he wanted

47:04

to keep training. He was still

47:06

coming after me. I was like,

47:08

dude, you got to look in

47:10

the mirror. Look in the mirror.

47:12

And his whole face shifted. I

47:14

hit him with a wheel kick

47:16

in the cheek. He went out,

47:18

his eyes rolled back in his

47:21

head, he collapses down to his

47:23

butt. And then he tried to

47:25

get back up slowly, he gets

47:27

back up. And he's like, I'm

47:29

good, I'm good, I'm good. And

47:31

then like 30 seconds later, he

47:33

wants to keep sparring. And I'm

47:35

like, you got to stop. But

47:37

he was just a monster, like

47:39

a savage, like a savage, like

47:41

a savage person. He was a

47:43

kid when I knew him, like

47:45

a normal kid. Like what's old

47:47

Richie? What's going on? No. He

47:49

was just gone. No, he was

47:51

gone. The old, well, I didn't

47:53

know the old Richie that well.

47:55

Now, I'm thinking timeline. So this

47:57

was pre-me doing stand-up. So I

47:59

probably met him first when I

48:01

was like six. and then I

48:03

met him again when I was

48:05

21. It was somewhere along that,

48:07

2021, because that's when I stopped

48:09

fighting. And it was like right

48:11

around the same time where I

48:13

knew Ritchie would stop fighting, so

48:15

he got arrested. There was a

48:17

guy who was murdered, and they

48:19

broke every bone in his body

48:21

with a hammer, and they kept

48:23

injecting him with cocaine to keep

48:25

him alive. Yeah,

48:28

holy fuck yeah, yeah, yeah, they they

48:30

they they identified the body I forget

48:32

how they identified the body, but I'm

48:34

pretty sure they chopped his hands and

48:36

his head off and They found this

48:38

guy and he got arrested for that

48:41

and He got away. He got off.

48:43

I don't think they charged him I

48:45

don't think he actually did it, but

48:47

he definitely knew people who did it.

48:49

He was involved with the same kind

48:51

of people And this is

48:54

like one of the guys that

48:56

I worked out with, but he

48:58

wasn't the hitman. The hitman was

49:00

way more stoic. Really? Older? Yeah,

49:02

he was older. He was in

49:04

his 30s. And the hitman was...

49:06

Would he come in with like

49:08

hitman problems? Like, all right, Sam

49:10

and a restaurant? He asked me

49:12

once, how would I would kill

49:15

a guy? And you were trying

49:17

to kill him, where would you

49:19

hit him? I said, probably the

49:21

neck. And he said, yeah, yeah,

49:23

I think so. And that was

49:25

the conversation. That was the end

49:27

of the conversation. I don't even

49:29

know why I picked the neck.

49:31

Because the neck actually could take

49:33

a pretty good beating. That's pretty

49:35

tough. Not mine. Your head is

49:38

way weaker than your neck. This

49:40

is really weak. Like this little

49:42

spot right here, your temple. This

49:44

little tiny thin little layer of

49:46

bone there that protects your brain.

49:48

It's not big at all. When

49:50

was the last time you got

49:52

punched? Oh. It's too... Even little

49:54

sparring wears on you. You carry

49:56

that for your whole life. Just

49:59

thuds. Little thuds. Even ones that

50:01

aren't that hard. Just a jab.

50:03

Just a thud. You carry those

50:05

like those are real. Yeah, brain

50:07

damage those those little times they

50:09

get danged in the gym That's

50:11

real that's brain damage. That's brain

50:13

damage and like I told you

50:15

like when I was a kid

50:17

we did a lot of brain

50:19

damage It was a sparring just

50:22

me horrible I've had I've had

50:24

I think eight concussions and I'm

50:26

just a kid. I didn't even

50:28

spar I'm just talking like basketball

50:30

camp one time football I'm playing

50:32

football for the hurt bird shit.

50:34

I got knocked unconscious. Like I've

50:36

probably had eight concussions. I'm guessing,

50:38

you know. I've had a lot.

50:40

My last one was just a

50:43

couple years ago. Skiing, last time

50:45

skiing. You were, I just talked

50:47

to you the other day when

50:49

you were skiing and I thought

50:51

you didn't ski because of your

50:53

knees. No, which one's the, yeah,

50:55

tibia, and then the fibula is

50:57

the little one, right? Phibbia is

50:59

in the, yeah, I cracked, I

51:01

cracked the, the tibia, which that

51:03

healed, but the real problem was

51:06

the head. My head, I fell

51:08

on my head. I, my, my

51:10

skis went up in the air

51:12

and I hit the ground head

51:14

first. Yeah, and it was a

51:16

helmet. Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure.

51:18

But it was a bang. Like

51:20

I got rocked and I was

51:22

like, oh shit, like that was

51:24

a big one. And then the

51:27

rest of the day I was

51:29

like dizzy, my balance was all

51:31

bad. It was not good. It

51:33

was not good. And then I

51:35

was like, I'm done with the

51:37

skiing thing. Because I always worried

51:39

about my knees. Because I still,

51:41

you know, I still love doing

51:43

martial arts. And if I'm not

51:45

doing it, I don't feel good.

51:47

Like I like to hit the

51:50

back. I like to have my

51:52

joints work perfectly. I like to

51:54

have my skills still there. I

51:56

like to do it. It's fun

51:58

to do. So anything that takes

52:00

that away from me, like, oh,

52:02

skiing, just for a thrill, like,

52:04

weee. Oh, and once you get

52:06

hurt, once you break. This episode

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network management details. We did a

54:20

concrete sled competition in Calgary or

54:23

in Edmonton. Concrete sled? Concrete sled?

54:25

It's an engineering team and they

54:27

have to figure out a way

54:29

to build a concrete sled that

54:31

makes it down a mountain with

54:33

all the team members on it

54:35

and stops within the right area.

54:37

And dude, people get fucked. I

54:39

mean, fucked up and concrete sled

54:41

must be so heavy. You can

54:44

find a picture of it. I

54:46

type in University of Edmonton concrete

54:48

sled. I think that's what it's

54:50

called. And right before, right before.

54:52

This is why people keep themselves

54:54

occupied when they're so fucking bored

54:56

because it's 38 degrees below zero

54:58

outside. Yeah, and do that's the

55:00

coldest I've ever been. My fingers.

55:02

You can see those concrete sleds?

55:04

There's one where the guys get

55:07

fucked up so bad. I don't

55:09

want to see it. It's so

55:11

stupid. But the guy, the team,

55:13

it went right before me, they

55:15

flipped. Flipped, ragdolled, yard sailed everywhere.

55:17

If these people tried bow hunting,

55:19

they would quit this. They'd quit

55:21

all this. They wouldn't be doing

55:23

any of this. This is ridiculous.

55:25

This is ridiculous. You could be

55:28

doing any of this. This is

55:30

ridiculous. You could fucking die. Well,

55:32

what's that? Broken femur. It's a

55:34

game changer. And I was like,

55:36

I gotta to go next. Like

55:38

what the fuck? Like that was

55:40

terrifying. Beyond... I think about that

55:42

sometimes just having my elbow surgery

55:44

I gained so much weight from

55:46

just having one arm because I

55:48

couldn't do it couldn't get on

55:51

the tribal I couldn't do anything

55:53

that I go any injury is

55:55

like I don't want any injury

55:57

yeah injuries are not good and

55:59

this is coming from a person

56:01

who's out a bunch of surgeries

56:03

I've had three knee surgeries had

56:05

my nose operated on oh let

56:07

me tell you my game changer

56:09

mouth tape You were talking about

56:12

this game changer Game changer I

56:14

know people say this and I

56:16

know it's like one of those

56:18

fucking Fitness influencer things where people

56:20

are selling something I got no

56:22

skin in the game. Okay. I'm

56:24

not selling nothing. I don't have

56:26

anything for sale I use a

56:28

company called hostage tape I'm sure

56:30

there's other ones that are great,

56:32

but the hostage tape makes me

56:35

laugh It's you take this tape

56:37

and you put it over your

56:39

mouth when you sleep now I

56:41

have sleep apnea So I wear

56:43

a mouthpiece and my mouthpiece has

56:45

a tongue depressor so the mouthpiece

56:47

is fitted to my lower my

56:49

lower jaw and the tongue depressor

56:51

keeps my tongue from falling back

56:53

on my throat so I don't

56:56

block my airway because I have

56:58

a big tongue and I have

57:00

a fat neck so it's like

57:02

the airhole it gets clogged up

57:04

by the tongue. So the tongue

57:06

depressor works and then I put

57:08

the tape over my mouth so

57:10

I'm not using my mouth at

57:12

all. Thank God I got my

57:14

nose fixed in like 15 years

57:16

ago or something like that. Best

57:19

decision I've ever made in my

57:21

life. One of the best. Is

57:23

that the one where you had

57:25

to like pull shit out of

57:27

your nose? Yeah, it was I

57:29

was on the road with Tommy

57:31

and I would show him the

57:33

buggers and he would like almost

57:35

vomit because the buggers were insane

57:37

So once you get your nose

57:40

operated on like I had Probably

57:42

12 nose breaks, maybe more by

57:44

the time I got my nose

57:46

operated on so the inside of

57:48

it was all calcified all the

57:50

inside just like cauliflower ear that

57:52

was the inside of my nose

57:54

like it was all just clogged

57:56

I spoke like my nose was

57:58

stuffed this was how my voice

58:00

was wait hold on is this

58:03

because I heard I listened to

58:05

a version of your voice when

58:07

you were younger yeah and it

58:09

sounds totally different it's also getting

58:11

older your voice definitely deeper so

58:13

that's me with the way that's

58:15

you yeah when I got the

58:17

nose plugs so that's after the

58:19

operation so Oh my god, look

58:21

how big your nose is. Well,

58:24

it's all swollen, I know. Anyway,

58:26

so if you have a deviated

58:28

septum, I can't recommend it enough.

58:30

It's such a huge thing to

58:32

do. It opens up your nose

58:34

and you get like 10% more

58:36

cardio. My jugitsu changed totally. Like

58:38

my gas and Jiu-Jitsu was way

58:40

better. I was like, this is

58:42

crazy. Why didn't I do this

58:44

a long time ago? Breathing through

58:47

your nose and not your mouth?

58:49

No, because you can breathe through

58:51

both. Oh. So you have more

58:53

airs coming in. This is how

58:55

you tell if you have a

58:57

deviated septum. Put a mirror underneath,

58:59

or take your phone and do

59:01

a video, and then breathe through

59:03

your nose. And if it closes.

59:05

You know what happens to me

59:08

when I sleep. A fucking goosle

59:10

swells up. Yeah, you were telling

59:12

me. It's the fucking worst. Yeah,

59:14

we were trying to decide where

59:16

the tonsils were and you were

59:18

explaining the tonsils are actually on

59:20

the side and your wife was

59:22

calling it a goosle. She's a

59:24

redneck. She's this little. That little

59:26

thing, whatever the word is, the

59:28

technical word. It's uvula. It's uvulitis.

59:31

So I put the mouthpiece in

59:33

and then I tape up my

59:35

mouth. I get no uvulitis if

59:37

I had mouth, mouth, but tape

59:39

in. Like I'm silent no no

59:41

no sleep mask no no no

59:43

no no I don't have anything

59:45

I don't know but I woke

59:47

up the first day I did

59:49

it I was like holy shit

59:52

I feel so much better like

59:54

instantaneously noticed the difference like I

59:56

was like 30% more rested something

59:58

like that like I feel just

1:00:00

like a significant number where I

1:00:02

could like feel it. I was like,

1:00:04

whoa. And I've been doing it that

1:00:07

way for like a week now. So

1:00:09

if I put, if I put those

1:00:11

nose strip songs, because I can breathe

1:00:14

through my nose, if I- You should

1:00:16

get your nose operated on. No fucking

1:00:18

way. Yeah. Dude, I have a- It's

1:00:20

not that big a deal. You should

1:00:23

get that done. You should get that

1:00:25

big deal. You should get that done,

1:00:27

too. Yeah. Can you make it poke

1:00:29

out? No, but if I go like,

1:00:31

you can kind of see this.

1:00:33

Where's the urnia? It's like

1:00:36

a fin? Oh. It's bad. If I

1:00:38

do a sit-up, like I'll show you

1:00:40

for real and you'll see it. Okay.

1:00:43

I'm watching Bert do a

1:00:45

sit-up, ladies and gentlemen.

1:00:47

Oh, that's scary, dude. That's a

1:00:49

rip in the center of your

1:00:51

stomach? I remember when it happened.

1:00:54

Oh, do, how long ago? probably

1:00:56

12 years ago. Oh my God.

1:00:58

I was doing a tough mutter

1:01:00

and I had to pull myself

1:01:02

up one of those half pipes.

1:01:04

That's where I ran and I grabbed

1:01:07

it and I pulled and I pulled

1:01:09

and I felt a tear and I

1:01:11

was like, whoa. It's just and I

1:01:13

was like, God man, that fucking hurt.

1:01:15

What happened? And I was like, I'm

1:01:17

fine. And then like two, I want

1:01:19

to say like two weeks later, I'm laying

1:01:21

in bed with my wife and I kind

1:01:23

of lean up and I see it. And

1:01:26

then a bunch of dads get it, like

1:01:28

some dudes get it when they just gain

1:01:30

a lot of weight. That's another way to

1:01:32

get it. But like I've never been that

1:01:35

fat. But Tommy, I think Tommy might have

1:01:37

had one. Or Eddie Bravo had two.

1:01:39

Yeah, he had one on both sides. Elective.

1:01:41

Oh, he had to get it fixed. Eddie

1:01:43

had to get it fixed. But then I'm

1:01:45

afraid of. The aftermath of the surgery of

1:01:48

13 weeks of recovery of me not working

1:01:50

out, I'm gonna go fucking haywire. You don't

1:01:52

have to go haywire. That's nonsense. You should

1:01:54

get it fixed. You should get it fixed

1:01:56

and get your nose fixed too. Just get

1:01:58

it fixed. Just bite the bull. Don't live

1:02:00

in a compromise body. They know how

1:02:02

to fix those things. You should get

1:02:05

it fixed. The nose thing's giant. Breathe

1:02:07

out of your nose, you change your

1:02:09

fucking life. I couldn't do yoga class.

1:02:12

The instructor, he would get mad at

1:02:14

me. He'd like, you have to breathe

1:02:16

out of your nose. I'm like, I

1:02:18

don't have a nose. It doesn't work.

1:02:21

Like, it doesn't work. My nose I

1:02:23

had like one quarter of one nostril

1:02:25

that was the only thing that was

1:02:27

open for oh for real. Yeah my

1:02:30

right side was completely closed. So it

1:02:32

wasn't just deviated it was just. Well

1:02:34

Luke Rockhold former UFC champion had a

1:02:37

post that he did about his nose

1:02:39

recently where they were like going through

1:02:41

his nose with one of those cameras

1:02:43

yeah and so you could see like

1:02:46

what's in there it's the same thing

1:02:48

it says his is completely clogged up.

1:02:50

Like there's a lot of the, and

1:02:52

Justin actually got his nose fixed, and

1:02:55

then he fought Max Holloway, and I

1:02:57

think that might have put it back

1:02:59

again. Oh my god, how long, what's

1:03:01

in those surgery, what's the... I was

1:03:04

doing Jiu-Jitsu six weeks later. Okay, you're

1:03:06

Joe, I'm Bert. Yeah, but I mean,

1:03:08

six weeks later, I was fine, fine

1:03:11

the next day. Yeah, I had to

1:03:13

have those stupid fucking things in my

1:03:15

nose for a while. I forget how

1:03:17

long that lasted. But then when they

1:03:20

pulled those out, I was good to

1:03:22

go. But the doctor, I remember this,

1:03:24

the doctor gave me two pain pill

1:03:26

prescriptions. He was insistent on giving me

1:03:29

these pain pill prescriptions. And I was

1:03:31

like, okay. I go, but it might

1:03:33

not, right? Like... He goes, but you

1:03:36

should have these. Like he wanted to

1:03:38

write me these pain pill prescriptions. I

1:03:40

was like, this is kind of creeping

1:03:42

me out, man. Yeah. Because I had

1:03:45

already known a bunch of people that

1:03:47

had pill problems back then, but it

1:03:49

was just weird that he wanted to

1:03:51

write me two of them. And I

1:03:54

told him, I go, listen, I just

1:03:56

had knee surgery a couple months ago,

1:03:58

and I go on it. It wasn't

1:04:01

even a couple years ago, rather. I

1:04:03

didn't take any pain medication. I go,

1:04:05

I don't like it. I just did

1:04:07

it. I just had the surgery and

1:04:10

then just dealt with the pain. I'd

1:04:12

rather deal with the pain than that

1:04:14

feeling. I don't like that feeling. I

1:04:16

got ACL surgery like way back in

1:04:19

the day and they gave me like

1:04:21

Vyconins or one of those type of

1:04:23

things. Percocets or Vycosins, I forget what

1:04:25

it was. But I remember feeling so

1:04:28

stupid, I was like, well this is

1:04:30

not for me. Cotton it just felt

1:04:32

like it was just like clogged up

1:04:35

like it couldn't it wouldn't work right

1:04:37

It was terrible Tommy and I like

1:04:39

that But my bought doctor he just

1:04:41

wanted me to take these pills. I

1:04:44

think it's that I you know You

1:04:46

were talking to me about statins for

1:04:48

a while and you were saying that

1:04:50

I don't know you were saying or

1:04:53

whatever I read was that it these

1:04:55

companies are getting these doctors getting paid

1:04:57

out to to get people on statins

1:05:00

the companies are saying you get people

1:05:02

on statins will pay you out you

1:05:04

know and I think doctors get a

1:05:06

variety of rewards I'm finding out they

1:05:09

get a variety of rewards depending upon

1:05:11

how many people in their practice get

1:05:13

vaccinated and if they lose a certain

1:05:15

percentage if they like have less than

1:05:18

a certain percentage then they don't get

1:05:20

payouts There's some weird shit that's involved

1:05:22

in medicine that's financial incentives that don't

1:05:24

necessarily line up with your best health.

1:05:27

And I think that doctors profit off

1:05:29

of providing people with pain pills, especially

1:05:31

when you have a legitimate reason to

1:05:34

want to take pain pills. But I

1:05:36

really don't think you should take them.

1:05:38

At least I don't take... I just

1:05:40

don't, I think if you have something

1:05:43

horrible wrong with you and you're in

1:05:45

agony all day, I totally understand. But

1:05:47

for a regular thing, like you hurt

1:05:49

your back a little bit, so now

1:05:52

you're on OxyContin? Like... That's what happened

1:05:54

to me. I got pretty much addicted

1:05:56

to them. So I filled out that

1:05:59

waterfall. They get everybody. They get everybody.

1:06:01

I can tell you the moment it

1:06:03

happened was we had to go to

1:06:05

dinner. with my wife's friends and I

1:06:08

didn't want to go and we weren't

1:06:10

drinking and I remember thinking I wonder

1:06:12

if I double up on my pain

1:06:14

pills that'll get me through tonight and

1:06:17

I did and man it was an

1:06:19

enjoyable fucking night and I smoked a

1:06:21

little weed and I was fucking perfect

1:06:24

the next morning I woke up and

1:06:26

Leanne found out we were going camping

1:06:28

that weekend and I reached over to

1:06:30

get my pills because the first thing

1:06:33

I did in bed grab a pill

1:06:35

pop a pill lay there for a

1:06:37

while Whenever my pills were gone and

1:06:39

land was at the foot of the

1:06:42

bed, she goes, you're done, big boy.

1:06:44

And I was like, I go, hold

1:06:46

on. This is like negotiating, like, junkie

1:06:48

negotiating. I go, hold on, baby, we're

1:06:51

all in camping. Like, we're gonna be

1:06:53

sleeping on the hard ground. She goes,

1:06:55

nope. She goes, go, get as much

1:06:58

weed as you want, get through the

1:07:00

pain that way. These things are fucking

1:07:02

poison. They're scary. They're scary because you

1:07:04

don't even realize what you don't. I

1:07:07

wasn't, I wasn't drinking in Hawaii that

1:07:09

trip for whatever reason, but I was

1:07:11

bummed at the luels. I was like,

1:07:13

everyone's getting like, you know, these my

1:07:16

ties and I'm drinking water and I

1:07:18

was, and I looked and this mom

1:07:20

was clearly on oxies and you watched

1:07:23

her knot out at the table. And

1:07:25

there's, man, when you see something like

1:07:27

that and you're not drinking, you're like,

1:07:29

thank God, I'm not fucking drinking. I

1:07:32

remember watching her knot out and her

1:07:34

whole family sees it. What dude is

1:07:36

what percentage of this country is hooked

1:07:38

on oxies right now? It's got to

1:07:41

be like a scary percentage. I bet

1:07:43

it's what do you think is more

1:07:45

oxies or Xanax? Xanax is like Xanax

1:07:48

is totally plausible Take a Xanax you're

1:07:50

gonna be fine my my cardiologist Dr.

1:07:52

Godan shout out of the guy's a

1:07:54

big fan of yours, but he told

1:07:57

me he said I said something about

1:07:59

Xanax and he goes hey man I'm

1:08:01

your doctor, don't ever fucking take those

1:08:03

things. I was like really goes, this

1:08:06

is the leading cause of dementia. Do

1:08:08

not take fucking Xanax is the leading

1:08:10

cause. He told me, he said, he

1:08:12

was like, by the way, I apologize,

1:08:15

doctor, can I give you a shout

1:08:17

out? And he's like, that's not my

1:08:19

exact words, Bert, God damn it. Yeah,

1:08:22

you might have fucked that out. We

1:08:24

might want to delete that. No, he

1:08:26

said, he said, your brain? It turns

1:08:28

your brain to mush. Well, it's definitely

1:08:31

not good for your brain. It's one

1:08:33

of the most dangerous drugs to get

1:08:35

off. Oh, they won't they want to

1:08:37

admit you to rehab if you if

1:08:40

you're on Benzos Right like I we

1:08:42

took a friend to rehab one time

1:08:44

and if one question they asked have

1:08:47

you taken a Benzo in the last

1:08:49

24 hours and he was like yeah,

1:08:51

and they're like nope can't take you

1:08:53

They don't want to deal with it.

1:08:56

One of them is alcohol You know,

1:08:58

really? Yeah, yeah. You have to drink

1:09:00

like when you wake up. Oh yeah,

1:09:02

you have to be a complete drunk.

1:09:05

And somehow or another, your body shifts

1:09:07

into surviving drinking alcohol all the time.

1:09:09

You're killing yourself for sure. But your

1:09:12

body relies on it. I forget what

1:09:14

the mechanism is. But there's an actual

1:09:16

mechanism. There's some sort of a shift

1:09:18

when your body's got so much alcohol.

1:09:21

And then when you get off alcohol

1:09:23

entirely, you can die. Oh, you have

1:09:25

a stroke. cause of death is, but

1:09:27

I know that benzose is another drug

1:09:30

that does that. When you get off

1:09:32

of it, you can die. Like it's

1:09:34

one of those things, if you just

1:09:36

cold turkey benzos, if you're pop in

1:09:39

Xanax all day long, you're like, I'm

1:09:41

done, like you can die. It's crazy

1:09:43

how clean life is when you're not

1:09:46

partying. Oh yeah. Like you haven't drank

1:09:48

in two weeks? It's like amazing how...

1:09:50

The sky looks different, the trees look

1:09:52

different. We have more energy. So much,

1:09:55

the gym is night and day different.

1:09:57

Like I work out every day, regardless,

1:09:59

ran five miles today, drank last night

1:10:01

on the plane, five miles today, and

1:10:04

now I feel clean, but then I

1:10:06

go, if I don't drink tonight, I

1:10:08

wish I was, I doubt I probably

1:10:11

will. But like the next day I

1:10:13

feel like a million bucks. You get

1:10:15

me in the gym and I want

1:10:17

to be on the treadmill. And I

1:10:20

get excited for fucking those sissy squats

1:10:22

you do. I love those bitches. I

1:10:24

got the board, the board, oh yeah,

1:10:26

get a fucking... Slant board squats. Slant

1:10:29

board skok, get a 45 fucking weight

1:10:31

mom, yeah. Two 15 of those bitches,

1:10:33

and you feel it, and you're like,

1:10:36

that last one. You want my favorite

1:10:38

squat to do is, what's the one

1:10:40

where you, you, you lean back? and

1:10:42

you squat when you're tilted back. Squat,

1:10:45

lean back. It's called bad form. No,

1:10:47

no, no, no, no. His skull back

1:10:49

injury waiting to happen. Lean back and

1:10:51

squat, that sounds crazy. Like a landmine

1:10:54

squat or something? Where you have the

1:10:56

pole, you have the... Oh, okay, yeah,

1:10:58

landmine, yeah. And you get deep into

1:11:00

that bitch? Oh, yeah, those are great.

1:11:03

Those are great for like rotational force

1:11:05

too. Oh, yeah. Viking shit. You know

1:11:07

what I'm saying? I'm always impressed when

1:11:10

a man can program his own workout.

1:11:12

Really? Yeah, because I can't, like, if

1:11:14

you, I don't do your own workhouse.

1:11:16

No, I have a guy program for

1:11:19

me. Okay. He comes in my house

1:11:21

and trains me every day. Really? Yeah.

1:11:23

Wow. So you don't work out on

1:11:25

your own at all? I find work

1:11:28

out on my own, I run. Okay.

1:11:30

So you must like that, right? I

1:11:32

love. I love getting on the treadmill

1:11:35

by myself. and just fucking going. Yeah,

1:11:37

alone time is big. So that's what

1:11:39

I like the most about like working

1:11:41

out by myself. Like I can figure

1:11:44

out what to do. I know what

1:11:46

to do. Yeah. So I just program

1:11:48

my own shit. Yeah, I think that's

1:11:50

impressive. I tell you what the game

1:11:53

changer for me and working out. And

1:11:55

I think that you know, I never

1:11:57

understood like guys like cam or David

1:11:59

Goggins and then they pushed themselves so

1:12:02

hard. And we did that bench press

1:12:04

press competition. I realized. Most of the

1:12:06

time when everyone works, the regular person

1:12:09

works out, they just want to get

1:12:11

through it and be done with it.

1:12:13

They're like, I know, I cheated a

1:12:15

little bit, fuck it, that was 12.

1:12:18

But when you're training for something, and

1:12:20

this must be like this with mixed

1:12:22

martial artists and with all those motherfuckers,

1:12:24

you're training your body for an actual

1:12:27

event to protect yourself. other men. And

1:12:29

I was like and when I had

1:12:31

a goal in mind I was like

1:12:34

oh this is different like I'm doing

1:12:36

everything he's telling me to do and

1:12:38

I'm doing it the right way and

1:12:40

I'm doing it to like failure because

1:12:43

I'm training if I know that if

1:12:45

I do that if I do that

1:12:47

if I do that then when I

1:12:49

get to the day where I do

1:12:52

the bench I can then complete the

1:12:54

mission I'm set out to do. Right.

1:12:56

I think more goal oriented workout. So

1:12:59

hard for that fucking wolf. Yeah, I'd

1:13:01

be like, fuck. Yeah, dude. I tell

1:13:03

you about my friend in Colorado, they

1:13:05

let wolves loose near his land. No.

1:13:08

Yeah, they just let wolves loose in

1:13:10

Colorado. They let a bunch loose in

1:13:12

one part of the state and then

1:13:14

they let a bunch more loose. He

1:13:17

said there was five. I don't know

1:13:19

if that's accurate, but that's what he

1:13:21

was told. And for what purpose. They've

1:13:23

decided to repopulate the state. with wolves

1:13:26

and they're getting wolves from like British

1:13:28

Columbia's big ass fucking Canadian wolves. are

1:13:30

coming in fucking the elk up and

1:13:33

uh... this is outside of aspen so

1:13:35

these are like all these really wealthy

1:13:37

people holy shit and they let wolves

1:13:39

loose on their property and by the

1:13:42

way there's livestock there these people have

1:13:44

cattle they have they have all sorts

1:13:46

of so far the wolves in his

1:13:48

area have an attack cattle because there's

1:13:51

an abundance of elk up there it's

1:13:53

a very it's a big elk corridor

1:13:55

where the elk migrate I took a

1:13:58

picture and posted it up on Instagram

1:14:00

of an elk leg that he found

1:14:02

just like within two weeks of them

1:14:04

being released. They had already started killing

1:14:07

elk on his property. So a wolf

1:14:09

took out an elk and left the

1:14:11

leg left the leg bone just laying

1:14:13

in the snow. Wait, how many wolves

1:14:16

did they let go? Five, he thinks.

1:14:18

But this is what he told me.

1:14:20

Do they release him as a pack?

1:14:23

I don't know if they... knew each

1:14:25

other before I don't know what the

1:14:27

fucking neighborhood did they grow up together

1:14:29

yeah so that's what we found shit

1:14:32

so that's um an elk leg that's

1:14:34

just been stripped down the lower leg

1:14:36

no meat on it just the hoof

1:14:38

and some some fur and shit is

1:14:41

laying in a bunch of just a

1:14:43

bunch of disturbed areas. It was all

1:14:45

fucked up, but you could tell some

1:14:47

shit went down. So we found that

1:14:50

piece there. They had dragged that from

1:14:52

somewhere else, but there was a carcass

1:14:54

up there too. So they basically, you

1:14:57

know, can kill. They could probably kill

1:14:59

one or two elk a day, and

1:15:01

they probably will do that now. And

1:15:03

so the elk population will. rapidly diminished.

1:15:06

The elk have no idea. They've never

1:15:08

evolved around wolves. These elks, these elk

1:15:10

are in, like, who knows how many

1:15:12

generations, with no wolves. So the United

1:15:15

States had wolves all throughout the West,

1:15:17

and then they eradicated them because they

1:15:19

fucking kill everything, because they kill livestock,

1:15:22

they kill horses, they pack up, they

1:15:24

get big packs, and then the... devastate

1:15:26

livestock, sheep herders, cattle. So they all

1:15:28

murdered all the wolves. So now these

1:15:31

people, these greenies, these little cutie pies,

1:15:33

decided to bring back the most intelligent

1:15:35

telepathic apex predator that operates in packs

1:15:37

and you decided to let them loose

1:15:40

near a ski town. Like congratulations. Why

1:15:42

the fuck? because they're cute because these

1:15:44

are people that grew up in cities

1:15:47

and they don't understand it's called ballot

1:15:49

box biology it's a bunch of people

1:15:51

who grew up in the city they

1:15:53

don't know what the fuck they're doing

1:15:56

and they don't know what a wolf

1:15:58

really is they just think wildlife's amazing

1:16:00

and then so you've let loose apex

1:16:02

predators in an area where nothing is

1:16:05

prepared for them they don't these animals

1:16:07

don't know to look for wolves they've

1:16:09

never experienced a wolf before they don't

1:16:11

have a natural instance to run away

1:16:14

when they see the wolves. They don't

1:16:16

know what the fuck is going on.

1:16:18

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1:16:21

tell wolves what to kill either. Of

1:16:23

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it, they are the shit. Well,

1:19:06

here's even better the first ones

1:19:08

they got so they had a

1:19:11

mandate to get these the Colorado

1:19:13

voted They voted it to release

1:19:15

wolves and so the governor had

1:19:17

to get it done within a

1:19:20

certain period of time and so

1:19:22

they got wolves from Oregon That

1:19:24

had been killing cattle where they

1:19:27

wait for it Started

1:19:29

killing cow. Oh shit! Duh! So wolves

1:19:31

are awesome, but they were making their

1:19:34

way into Colorado by themselves. They were

1:19:36

already coming down from Wyoming. There's wolves

1:19:38

in Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, and they were

1:19:41

making their way down naturally. But these

1:19:43

idiots decided to accelerate the process and

1:19:45

introduce this completely new element outside of

1:19:47

a fucking ski town. that's going to

1:19:50

kill people's dogs for sure. If they

1:19:52

get to a healthy population, you're never

1:19:54

going to be able to let your

1:19:57

dog go outside. Yeah. That's over. Cats

1:19:59

dead. Everybody dead. They're like 10 times

1:20:01

worse than coyote. You remember coyote? They're

1:20:03

giant coyotes. You have some coyote's jump

1:20:06

fences? Oh yeah. And you're like, there's

1:20:08

no protecting my chickens from fucking coyotes.

1:20:10

I saw a coyote jump a fence

1:20:13

with one of my chickens in its

1:20:15

mouth. Jumped a six foot high wrought

1:20:17

iron fence like it was nothing. Boom,

1:20:20

touched the top of the fence with

1:20:22

its feet, with a chicken in its

1:20:24

mouth. And right over the top. I

1:20:26

was like, I was so delusionalo. One

1:20:29

jump, feet to the top, feet to

1:20:31

the top, other feet to the top,

1:20:33

over the top with a chicken in

1:20:36

his mouth. All my neighbors have red

1:20:38

lights on their fences. That's the only

1:20:40

thing that stops coyotes, I say. Oh,

1:20:42

they won't jump over a red light?

1:20:45

I have no fucking idea. But they

1:20:47

all have like, it looks like a

1:20:49

red light. It looks like a red

1:20:52

light. It looks like a red light.

1:20:54

It looks like a red light. Yeah.

1:20:56

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always think

1:20:59

that's the funniest phrase, honey-dicking. Yeah, they

1:21:01

try to honey-dick your dog. So what

1:21:03

they do is they, one coyote, I've

1:21:05

told the story before, but I'll say

1:21:08

it quick, I went to this pet

1:21:10

store that I used to go to,

1:21:12

and one of the guys that worked

1:21:15

in the pet store, yeah, he was

1:21:17

a veterinarian, and he brought in, someone

1:21:19

had brought in this pit bull that

1:21:21

was covered in cuts, like his whole

1:21:24

body, he was like hundreds of stitches.

1:21:26

And he's like, what happened? He was

1:21:28

like, I don't know, he got out.

1:21:31

And then, you know, when I came

1:21:33

home, he was outside the fence and

1:21:35

this is what he looked like. So

1:21:38

this guy, they stitched the dog up

1:21:40

and then he follows a blood trail

1:21:42

into the woods outside of his house

1:21:44

where he finds nine dead coyotes. Oh

1:21:47

shit. you know a giant pit bull

1:21:49

like one of them super jack muscular

1:21:51

pit bulls the fucking fire hydrant head

1:21:54

the kind that are on the front

1:21:56

of rap albums terrifying pit bull and

1:21:58

this pit bull just killed everyone they

1:22:00

They fucked with the John Wick of

1:22:03

pit bulls. And he just killed them

1:22:05

all, killed all the coyotes. They were

1:22:07

all just, he said it looked like

1:22:10

Vietnam. He said they were just torn

1:22:12

apart. Because once the dog killed him,

1:22:14

he's not gonna stop. He's gonna start

1:22:17

shaking him. You know, picking, especially a

1:22:19

pit bull like that that's in a

1:22:21

blood rage that just killed, fight for

1:22:23

its life. Like it was probably so

1:22:26

happy. Like so happy to do this

1:22:28

because pit bulls just want to fight

1:22:30

all the time. I've been wanting to

1:22:33

do this every fucking day. I wake

1:22:35

up. It was the guy who jujitsu

1:22:37

black belt and a drunk grab. I

1:22:39

was like, thank you. Thank you. I've

1:22:42

been practicing for this my whole life.

1:22:44

But you imagine the scene? Just walking,

1:22:46

just dead coyotes just ripped apart, just

1:22:49

throats torn open, guts hanging out. If

1:22:51

a dog like that bites a coyote's

1:22:53

leg, that leg's broken. That's a shattered

1:22:56

leg. That leg doesn't work anymore. The

1:22:58

poundage of the pit bull's bite is

1:23:00

fucking wild. You know what a wolf

1:23:02

is? It's like five times stronger. Are

1:23:05

you shitting me? Yeah. That's how crazy

1:23:07

these retards are that let loose these

1:23:09

apex telepathic super predators into a ski

1:23:12

town. Well filled with super rich people

1:23:14

and the super rich people right now

1:23:16

are they're finding out about this they

1:23:19

are freaking the fuck out. Oh yeah

1:23:21

all my my buddy who lives out

1:23:23

there all his neighbors they're all trying

1:23:25

to figure out what they can do

1:23:28

you know they're all colored too so

1:23:30

there's an app and you can get

1:23:32

on the app and find out where

1:23:35

the monsters are yeah you want to

1:23:37

get I got to get that out

1:23:39

you're walking how about you're walking and

1:23:41

then you see the fucking app is

1:23:44

showing you there behind you All five

1:23:46

of them behind you and you're with

1:23:48

your family. But maybe you voted on

1:23:51

that because you think wolves are amazing.

1:23:53

That's Little Red Riding Hood, bro. We

1:23:55

can track these wolves on an app.

1:23:58

That's kind of cool. Kind of cool

1:24:00

to know where the monsters are. But

1:24:02

they do that with sharks, great white

1:24:04

sharks. But these people in the neighborhood

1:24:07

are all tracking these wolves. So they're

1:24:09

all freaking out because these wolves are

1:24:11

like circling their homes. Circle in their

1:24:14

property. Some of them have gone right

1:24:16

through fields with cattle and not done

1:24:18

anything about it. Yeah, they don't even

1:24:20

understand why. They haven't attacked any cattle

1:24:23

yet. But these are ones that are

1:24:25

outside of Aspen. the ones that they

1:24:27

brought in from Oregon that's not outside

1:24:30

of Aspen that's a different spot those

1:24:32

are the ones that were they were

1:24:34

depredation tags they were they were already

1:24:37

killing wildlife or they were killing cattle

1:24:39

what state do you think has the

1:24:41

most predators like Australia has the most

1:24:43

predators in the country in our country

1:24:46

yeah i'd say Alaska for sure Florida

1:24:48

oh yeah that's a good call yeah

1:24:50

no Florida for sure Florida now because

1:24:53

you brought in reptiles in reptiles yeah

1:24:55

Florida has more pythons in it in

1:24:57

the Everglades than all the rest of

1:24:59

the world. Yeah. Do you see those

1:25:02

kids that go in, you see the

1:25:04

kids that dive in and grab them?

1:25:06

I have python, python cowboy on the

1:25:09

show. He brought me up, don't we

1:25:11

have a python head laying around here

1:25:13

somewhere? Something? Oh, look at that, look

1:25:16

at that. Yeah. Apex predator, Florida is

1:25:18

jacked. No one's even close to Florida.

1:25:20

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what is

1:25:22

Maine? What is it?

1:25:25

Vermont? Vermont? Vermont? Right. Okay, so

1:25:27

the one with the boot. Well,

1:25:29

this is not good, guys. The

1:25:31

boot is Massachusetts, right? No, that's

1:25:33

New York. We're so stupid. You

1:25:35

know who could draw the whole

1:25:37

map by hand? Al Franken. Vermont.

1:25:39

Vermont. Vermont. That must be like

1:25:41

wolverines and shit. Oh red and

1:25:43

gray foxes coyotes black bears fishers

1:25:45

bobcats and red and gray foxes

1:25:47

with wolves and links also present.

1:25:49

Although the later or rare latter.

1:25:51

Good God. Interesting. I remember, I

1:25:53

said, I said the other day

1:25:55

on Instagram I was, I had

1:25:57

my hose all wrapped up and

1:25:59

I was like, I don't know

1:26:01

if this is from, because I'm

1:26:03

from Florida, but I never put

1:26:05

my hand into a hose bucket

1:26:07

without kicking it a couple times.

1:26:09

When you say I got my

1:26:11

hose all wrapped up, all wrapped

1:26:13

up, all wrapped up, they're making

1:26:15

that money. I got my hose

1:26:17

wrapped up. Have you ever had

1:26:19

rattlesnake on your property out here?

1:26:21

You have? Out here we've had

1:26:23

one. One of my neighbors had

1:26:25

a couple coral snakes in her

1:26:27

garage. Those are scary. Coral snakes

1:26:29

are the ones that look like

1:26:31

red and black. It's beautiful. Black

1:26:33

and yellow killefellow. Red. Red white

1:26:35

and blue America I don't know

1:26:37

I don't know what the but

1:26:39

my old house in California there

1:26:41

was a bunch of them your

1:26:43

old house was in the in

1:26:45

the wilderness. Yeah I was I

1:26:47

was in a place where there

1:26:49

was a lot red touches yellow

1:26:51

kill a fellow red touches black

1:26:53

venom lack. What does that mean?

1:26:55

There's no venom Oh, to help

1:26:57

identify venomous coral snakes. Oh, I

1:26:59

see. So some coral snakes are

1:27:01

not venomous? No, it's a... Oh,

1:27:03

yeah, that's what it looked like.

1:27:05

No, it's a king's snake. Scarlet

1:27:07

King's snake is harmless. Coral's snakes

1:27:09

are deadly. And so we had

1:27:11

both in Florida, I think. So

1:27:13

we had both in Florida, I

1:27:15

think. So you never got near

1:27:17

either of them. But that... Go

1:27:19

back to that image, Jamie. The

1:27:21

one on the top. Red touch

1:27:23

is yellow. Black. Scarlet King Snake,

1:27:25

harmless. Interesting. I'm not gonna roll

1:27:27

the dice on that. I would

1:27:29

not remember this. I would fuck

1:27:31

that up. I'd be like, that

1:27:33

thing looks like it will fucking

1:27:35

for sure kill you. Red touch

1:27:37

is black. Step back, what? Yellow,

1:27:39

black yellow. Red touch is yellow.

1:27:41

Yellow, black yellow. Yellow, yellow. Yellow,

1:27:43

yellow. Yellow, yellow. Yellow, black, yellow.

1:27:45

that creature. So my friend, she

1:27:47

had two of them in her

1:27:49

garage. Yeah, not good. Not good.

1:27:51

But my old house, my member,

1:27:53

did you ever meet Frank? You

1:27:55

never met Frank. I used to

1:27:57

have this pit bull named Frank

1:27:59

Sinatra and Frank would... I only

1:28:01

knew Johnny. Frank killed everything. Everything

1:28:04

that got in that yard was

1:28:06

dead. Really? Yeah, he was a

1:28:08

psycho and He would kill rattlesnakes

1:28:10

all the time so he'd get

1:28:12

bit all the time So I

1:28:14

mean wait, how did he not

1:28:16

get bit? He got bit every

1:28:18

time So I have to keep

1:28:20

bringing him to the fucking vet

1:28:22

every time so I have to

1:28:24

keep bringing him to the fucking

1:28:26

vet like I have to keep

1:28:28

bringing him by rattlesnakes so many

1:28:30

times that he had developed some

1:28:32

sort of an immunity so He

1:28:34

was a sweetest dog, loved everybody,

1:28:36

but like vicious with snakes and

1:28:38

lizards. Lizards are like his video

1:28:40

game. He would like jump on

1:28:42

the walls to try to get

1:28:44

the lizards that were crawling on

1:28:46

the walls. He would leap into

1:28:48

the air to try to get

1:28:50

these lizards. So I brought him

1:28:52

to the vet and the vet's

1:28:54

like, I don't see a puncture

1:28:56

mark and he's not swelling, so

1:28:58

I wouldn't worry about it. And

1:29:00

I'm like, wow. How the fuck

1:29:02

did you kill that snake and

1:29:04

not get bit? And then I

1:29:06

brought him back to the house

1:29:08

and then his face immediately swole

1:29:10

back up again. So then I

1:29:12

had to bring him back to

1:29:14

the vet and the vet's like

1:29:16

he's been stung, he's been bit

1:29:18

so many times that he probably

1:29:20

has some sort of an immunity.

1:29:22

Jesus. Yeah. It's a coral snake

1:29:24

too that doesn't go by the

1:29:26

rhyme. That is so beautiful. That

1:29:28

is one of the most venomous

1:29:30

snakes in the world. God, I

1:29:32

would assume that would fuck you

1:29:34

up. It kills King Cobra's apparently.

1:29:36

It kills King. Look how beautiful

1:29:38

it is. It's a Malaysian. It's

1:29:40

a Malaysian. Blue Coral. Blue Coral.

1:29:42

Blue Coral. Blue Coral. Blue Coral.

1:29:44

Blue Coral. Blue Coral. Blue Coral.

1:29:46

Blue Coral. Blue Coral. Blue Coral.

1:29:48

Blue. Blue. Let it let it

1:29:50

loose. house. And then there was

1:29:52

an earth. Oh great. I read

1:29:54

that, I think I read that

1:29:56

one of their books or I

1:29:58

talked to slash once about it.

1:30:00

They got out? And I think

1:30:02

they got out and they had

1:30:04

to send someone in the house

1:30:06

to, I can't remember exactly, but

1:30:08

there was an earthquake and he

1:30:10

had like a Cobra. Oh God.

1:30:12

Yeah. I don't understand, I mean

1:30:14

I understand wanting to have a

1:30:16

snake, but poison the snakes, I

1:30:18

can't wrap my head around. No.

1:30:20

You can never touch it, you

1:30:22

can never play with it. A

1:30:24

snake tricked Eve into eating that

1:30:26

fucking apple and now we're ruined.

1:30:28

All right now we have to

1:30:30

have Jesus come save us. You

1:30:32

definitely look like you would have

1:30:34

gone through a lizard phase though.

1:30:36

No. Well I... Listen. I had

1:30:38

one idea that was the dumbest

1:30:40

idea. A snake guy. What is

1:30:42

going on? The cop doesn't have

1:30:44

snakes? This is the wrong cop

1:30:46

to pull a snake out with?

1:30:48

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'll stand

1:30:50

right here. No, wait a minute.

1:30:52

You don't understand how many there

1:30:54

are. You see all them snakes

1:30:57

right there? Yeah. You see them

1:30:59

snakes right there? Yeah. They're my

1:31:01

babies. I care more about them

1:31:03

snakes than I do a human

1:31:05

life. Just like that, man. His

1:31:07

snakes mean more. I had this

1:31:09

house that had like a center

1:31:11

courtyard and I was gonna seal

1:31:13

off the center courtyard and get

1:31:15

a crocodile monitor. Bad-ass fucking monitor.

1:31:17

And feed it rabbits. And have

1:31:19

like a wild kingdom in the

1:31:21

center of my house. I love

1:31:23

it. So I was gonna set

1:31:25

up trees because it had like

1:31:27

open air. So I'm gonna set

1:31:29

up a canopy. trap it in

1:31:31

there like a greenhouse make it

1:31:33

nice and warm so it's an

1:31:35

environment put trees up everywhere and

1:31:37

then just let shit loose and

1:31:39

watch yeah then I was like

1:31:41

that's so fucked up it's like

1:31:43

and I started thinking like what's

1:31:45

wrong with you it's like if

1:31:47

I started thinking about me going

1:31:49

like I didn't like me like

1:31:51

imagine taking someone one of your

1:31:53

friends over your house and you

1:31:55

have a murder sanctuary in the

1:31:57

center of centerpiece of your home

1:31:59

oh the atrium of your home

1:32:01

is just like you watch animals

1:32:03

just get slaughtered they have no

1:32:05

chance of escape unlike the wild

1:32:07

oh the rabbit can get away

1:32:09

do we used to have a

1:32:11

fair fight in our fraternity my

1:32:13

buddy Mason had a big python

1:32:15

and they'd buy rats and they'd

1:32:17

put money on it and they'd

1:32:19

put them in the corners and

1:32:21

put the python in the center

1:32:23

and they have the benches from

1:32:25

our our cafeteria lined up it

1:32:27

being a square and we bet

1:32:29

on which one he'd eat first

1:32:31

and it was crazy rats would

1:32:33