0:01

Joe Rogan podcast,

0:04

check it out! The Joe Rogan

0:06

experience! Train by

0:08

day! Joe Rogan

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podcast by night!

0:13

All day! You know who

0:15

wrote that? Pop quiz. Who?

0:17

Very famous person wrote.

0:19

What is that from?

0:21

What show is that

0:24

from? What show is

0:26

that from? Seven Diz? Yeah.

0:28

It begins with an S.

0:30

Stanford, it's on. Yes. Who wrote

0:32

it? You're not going to believe

0:35

it. Quincy Jones. Really? Yes.

0:37

And if you hear the whole song, it's

0:39

a really good song. I used to

0:41

love that show. Sanford and someone's

0:43

fucking great. It was funny.

0:45

It was funny, ridiculous.

0:48

Red Fox was the man. He

0:50

was so funny on that. I

0:52

actually didn't like that theme song.

0:54

Here we go. When I first

0:56

heard it. That was back when

0:58

sitcoms or sitcoms. Oh, that one was

1:00

like way, I felt like way, like

1:03

three's company sucks if you watch that

1:05

now. That was like the number one

1:07

sitcom. Snammers is still good. Yeah, you

1:09

know what's underrated that I really never

1:11

gave a chance? Way, I want to

1:14

guess. Oh, fuck. I've fucked it up.

1:16

Sorry. I would have said Big Bang

1:18

Theory. It's a good show. I used to

1:20

shit on it because I saw clips with,

1:23

you know how you do retakes where they're

1:25

not laughs? No laughs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But

1:27

that's, you know what that is? That's

1:29

like retakes. When you work on

1:31

a sitcom, sometimes you have to

1:33

do pickups. I actually don't know,

1:35

but yes. Oh, you do pickups

1:37

and nobody knows anymore. Nobody does

1:39

it anymore. Miss Pat is like

1:41

the only person I know with a

1:43

sitcom. Yeah, I know what a sitcom I

1:45

know with a sitcom. I know one comic with

1:48

a sitcom, Miss Pat, and it's on

1:50

a streaming. It's on BET. Yeah, and

1:52

that was everything. When I was first

1:54

starting, like, your whole thing was like,

1:56

you have to get a sitcom or

1:59

you don't have any. money. Yeah, well,

2:01

or you're never going to have a

2:03

career because you needed, there was no

2:05

way to get people to come see

2:08

you in the clubs unless you had

2:10

a special or unless you had a

2:12

sitcom. Yeah. And I remember Zak aliphonakis.

2:15

It was pilot season. Remember that whole

2:17

thing? That was huge. Like pilot season's

2:19

coming up. Oh yeah, everybody would be

2:21

in town for pilot season. Yeah. Everybody

2:24

would be like a special kind of

2:26

anxious. Yeah. Because your whole fucking career

2:28

was laying on this moment where you

2:31

walked into this room and there was

2:33

these weirdos these casting people there were

2:35

always really socially bizarre people and like

2:37

tired and mad they've seen some people

2:40

and it's always a tiny room and

2:42

you they're the kings and you are

2:44

a peasant begging for a bowl of

2:47

soup yeah and when you walk in

2:49

they know they don't want you like

2:51

they also know you're broke Yeah, and

2:54

you have that desperate, desperate energy. You

2:56

want them to be one from the

2:58

one day? Hi, hi guys, want you

3:00

to like me. Oh, death. I didn't

3:03

get any, I never got a sick,

3:05

I auditioned probably for a thousand. I

3:07

don't know why someone didn't say this

3:10

isn't, you're not good at this, no

3:12

one told me. You could have been

3:14

a big bank theory, ironically, I could

3:16

have been, you would have been a

3:19

fucking major get for them. Now this

3:21

is a story, let me tell you

3:23

this story. Okay. So I go in

3:26

and you know you get like a

3:28

callback, okay? First casting director and then

3:30

you're like, please like me. Then you're

3:32

like callback and like, oh, they like

3:35

me. Second callback. Now I get like

3:37

real nervous. I can make it. It

3:39

was a show, Happy Family. Have you

3:42

heard of that? A lot time ago.

3:44

That guy, a lara cat, was on

3:46

it. Oh yeah. I remember him saying,

3:48

he was, he's dropping on the set,

3:51

and he goes, my friend Don told

3:53

me that on my gravestone it should

3:55

say, it's not a great plot, but

3:58

lara cats in it. He told that.

4:00

Boy. He was the John Larequette show

4:02

was on the same lot as I

4:04

was when I was filming news radio

4:07

and Lenny Clark who's a good friend

4:09

of mine forever. Lenny was on that

4:11

show and you know I'd run into

4:14

Lenny in the parking lot we talked

4:16

but we would watch their feed with

4:18

John Larequette with like yellow people. If

4:21

that's you, the feed is always, they

4:23

forget there's a feed. Yeah, people were

4:25

screaming about, but no one had a

4:27

cell phone back then. You know, we're

4:29

talking in the 90s. So this is

4:32

probably 94 or something like that. Yeah,

4:34

yeah, yeah. And it was a bizarre

4:36

scene, man. I never adjusted to being

4:38

on television, never did. That's a good

4:40

gig, though. I mean, shit, that was

4:42

like. Yeah, but I couldn't wait to

4:44

not do it anymore once I did

4:46

it. Really? Yeah, and I had the

4:48

best version of it. Hilarious cast, brilliant

4:50

writers. What was that? The stress of

4:52

it. It was just like, I just

4:54

wanted to do stand up. You know,

4:56

it was just, because you're getting a

4:58

little famous. blah blah blah blah and

5:00

listen as far as that was also

5:02

the problems I knew I was never

5:04

going to get another sitcom like news

5:06

radio the other sitcoms that I read

5:08

forward yeah a fucking garbage after that

5:10

that they want you to do some

5:12

something after and yeah there was a

5:14

few opportunities I had a couple of

5:16

development deals to do stuff but then

5:18

when fear factor came on my first

5:20

thought was like yes no actors oh

5:22

really yeah I didn't have to deal

5:24

with like the whole thing like the

5:26

whole thing of the schmoozing and the

5:28

you know going to these award things

5:30

and these parties and these press junkets

5:33

that you had to do it's like

5:35

I didn't like it just felt I

5:37

don't know It was just weird. You

5:39

know, I never audition for anything. Like,

5:41

I audition for a couple commercials in

5:43

New York. I audition for two shows

5:45

ever. Hard off. Bring it back to

5:47

my lyric head story. Don't go to

5:49

your lyricist. No, no, I want to

5:51

hear this. I'm just, I want to

5:53

say I love because I. I set

5:55

up a story and then I didn't

5:57

finish it. So I got this show

5:59

when I was living in New York.

6:01

It was called Hardball. And I came

6:03

out here to LA. Oh, wait a

6:05

minute. Yeah, it was a baseball show.

6:07

I remember. Jim Brewer was in the

6:09

pilot with me. Mike Starr from Goodfell's

6:11

was in it. I don't know that

6:13

guy. Bruce Greenwood, who was in Star

6:15

Trek, he's been in everything. He's a

6:17

great actor. He was like the older

6:19

picture that was like my nemesis. Terrible

6:21

show. Terrible show like so bad. I

6:23

think I saw the guy so bad

6:25

the intro of it or something I

6:27

remember hardball Yeah, it lasted six episodes

6:29

and then the other show that I

6:31

got was news radio and is the

6:34

only other show I auditioned for It

6:36

was just, so I'm so, everything else

6:38

I auditioned for was like movies and

6:40

stuff that I never got. And there

6:42

was a couple of shows after news

6:44

radio was over that I auditioned for

6:46

that I didn't get. But it was

6:48

just like the, it was so bizarre.

6:50

So when I would go to these

6:52

auditions for other things, it wasn't that

6:54

big a deal because I was already

6:56

on news radio. So it wasn't like,

6:58

if I didn't get these things, it

7:00

was like, it'll be okay. But it

7:02

was like. Still the anxiety of that

7:04

like I had money and it was

7:06

still like oh this is awful like

7:08

this whole thing so stressful and so

7:10

weird and everybody's so fucked up because

7:12

you get a bunch of people that

7:14

desperately want attention and then you go

7:16

there to this place where you're surrounded

7:18

by people who are desperately want attention

7:20

and in Hollywood and then you have

7:22

this one moment in front of these

7:24

people and they're looking at you like

7:26

this okay Kyle hi so you're reading

7:28

for Bobby and correct I love the

7:30

script so funny you know Bobby's an

7:32

athlete. Yeah. No, I can do all

7:35

the things. Whatever you can say, I

7:37

can do it. I'm good at it.

7:39

Right. OK. Tim here's going to read

7:41

with you. And Tim, like, could barely

7:43

read. It's always like some P.A. It's

7:45

probably on Kedamine. You can barely read.

7:47

And you have to, like, pretend, like,

7:49

you're having this a motive moment with

7:51

Tim. I'm so glad I don't have

7:53

to do that. It was the worst.

7:55

But some people love it. But some

7:57

people love it. But some people love

7:59

it. Look, look, look, look, look, man.

8:01

We're comics. We're comics. Some people are

8:03

comics. Some people are actors. Some people

8:05

are actors. Some people are actors. Some

8:07

people are actors. They fucking love it.

8:09

Like, McConaughey? That fucking dude loves, like,

8:11

pouring himself into a role, getting psychotic

8:13

about who the character is. That's, I

8:15

wish I'd, if I could go back,

8:17

I wish I'd looked at those as

8:19

like, someone said this as like an

8:21

opportunity to perform. Instead of like, I'm

8:23

trying to get something. Right. I didn't,

8:25

I was just got it. How did

8:27

you just. I had a development deal with

8:30

an NBC and they were going to

8:32

do, I was going to do my

8:34

own show, but they had a sitcom

8:36

that they were already green lit and

8:38

Ray Romano was on it and Ray

8:40

was like the maintenance guy and Ray

8:42

got fired during the pilot, which is

8:44

like the best thing that ever happened.

8:46

He goes on to do the Ray,

8:49

everybody loves Raymond and it's fucking huge.

8:51

Bigger the news radio ever was. So

8:53

like he gets fired and another guy

8:55

got hired and then he got fired.

8:57

So I didn't feel bad because I'm

8:59

friends with Ray. I love Ray.

9:01

I bet you that part just

9:03

was not good. It wasn't the

9:06

actor's fault. Because you audition and

9:08

then. I don't know what it

9:10

was. It's like you never know

9:12

what they want. Like when Paul

9:14

the guy who created it

9:16

Paul Sims is this brilliant

9:18

guy who worked on. Larry Sanders,

9:21

thank you. He worked on Larry

9:23

Sanders. He was a brilliant, brilliant

9:25

guy. And he did a very

9:28

clever thing, like in the auditions.

9:30

The first audition I read for,

9:32

it wasn't funny. Like on purpose, they

9:34

wanted to cut out all the people

9:36

who were hamming it up. Right. I

9:38

was like, oh my God, this writing

9:41

is nothing. So I don't know what

9:43

this is. So like, you know, the

9:45

NBC asked me to go in and

9:47

read for it. And I say thank you,

9:49

and also they have a callback. And then

9:51

they send me the callback sheets, and it's

9:53

hilarious. And I was like, oh, whoa! The order

9:55

to see if you could turn something on the

9:57

phone. Because that was a thing that everybody hated.

10:00

was the hammy, hammy sitcom actor. Come

10:02

on, Bobby. What are you doing? You're

10:04

good at that. I've seen a

10:06

lot of those guys. So they wanted

10:09

to avoid that. And so. then you

10:11

know they had a call back and

10:13

it was just like me and

10:15

two other guys and these two other

10:18

guys look like they just got

10:20

back from Vietnam they were sweating they're

10:22

fucking pale in the face that

10:24

makes you confident right when you see

10:26

some nervous you're like oh okay super

10:29

confident I looked at these guys I

10:31

looked at these guys I'm like oh they

10:33

can't handle pressure and I sat back in

10:35

the couch and put my feet up on

10:37

the coffee table like a dick like a

10:39

dick head yeah yeah I got this. I

10:41

just took a sketch show, one of the

10:43

rare things I got, and the guy, I

10:45

was so out of my mind nervous, and

10:47

I could hear in the door this guy

10:49

not doing good panicking, and I just got

10:52

calm, and I was like, oh, I got

10:54

this. Yeah, yeah. And the show got canceled.

10:56

Well, they all get canceled. Yeah, 90%

10:58

of them don't, maybe even more, right? Don't do

11:01

it. Most of them never make it to a

11:03

second season, and definitely most of them never make

11:05

a disindication. You know, they go a few episodes,

11:07

then they get canned. I was on. No, I'm

11:10

just saying if the production company's not making money,

11:12

the network's not making money, it's not making money,

11:14

it's not getting ratings. I was in situation, it

11:16

was, um, Cedric the Entertainer Presents, it was a

11:19

sketch show, and it was like, I remember that.

11:21

Yeah, I joined mid-season. What year is this? 2003.

11:23

And I, uh, big year for me. So I

11:25

get there mid-season, like, we need a white guy,

11:28

I like, you know, I was a token white

11:30

guy. And, you know, I was a token white

11:32

guy. And, I was a token white guy. And,

11:34

like, like, I was a token white guy. And,

11:36

like, I was a, like, like, like, like, like,

11:38

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

11:40

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

11:42

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like this

11:44

he got into like a fight with the fox

11:47

here's where I knew things were downhill now I

11:49

didn't sell my car I had a really and

11:51

I'd pull up to like the good spots and

11:53

it was like Lamborghini you know and then and

11:55

I wasn't just a shitty car from like the

11:57

early 80s it was like I hit

11:59

another four accidents. It was just

12:02

a chunk. And I just was like,

12:04

and it's so broke in a tiny

12:06

apartment, I'm like, let me just see

12:09

if I can. But it seemed like

12:11

this is a hit show. It was

12:13

doing well. Okay. So then it's like,

12:16

first thing, first sign, it was like,

12:18

hey, there's a Fox party tomorrow. And

12:20

I was like, oh, cool. I made

12:23

it in Hollywood. So I go to

12:25

this thing. And I'm like, where Cedric

12:27

Cedric. And I'm like, where Cedric. To

12:31

get so I'm like it'll be fine.

12:33

So then this is we were about

12:35

to go on right after American Idol

12:38

Which was like the biggest show in

12:40

the world? So we're like get ready

12:42

for the rocket ship and then this

12:44

guy put Wanda psych show took Cedric

12:47

off the air for like six weeks

12:49

to put Wanda psychs not did it

12:51

off there, but like yeah took moved

12:53

the spot So Wanda's show adapter and

12:56

then Wanda's got amazing, you know, views

12:58

so it gave them excuse to cancel

13:00

Cedric even though Cedric was a hit,

13:02

it was like a FU. Cedric seems

13:05

like a nice guy. Yeah, he was

13:07

very cool, nice to me. So how,

13:09

what happened? He did get on the

13:11

phone during my audition, though, at one

13:14

point. I was in the middle of

13:16

auditioning, he was like, yeah, and it

13:18

was kind of a casual. like culture

13:20

of stardom versus people that want to

13:23

be on a show like you you're

13:25

not the equal what do you mean

13:27

like if you're auditioning for a show

13:29

and the guy who has the show

13:32

there's this weird you know what is

13:34

that number one in the call sheet

13:36

there's a documentary about black actors it's

13:38

not Not black actors. It's just actors

13:41

period in general like I experienced that

13:43

a lot in the news radio days

13:45

with guys who are Big movie stars

13:47

and they would like big time you

13:50

in the weirdest way like you couldn't

13:52

just say hi to them you couldn't

13:54

hang out with them there's a few

13:56

guys that just like they were just

13:59

really gross and then there was guys

14:01

like John Ritter who was like the

14:03

fucking nicest guy in the world to

14:05

everybody right nice guy in the world

14:08

nice guy in the world camera people

14:10

joking around with the makeup lady fun

14:12

heart attack died young man I know

14:14

fucking young before the vaccine before the

14:17

vaccine young he took it he was

14:19

the first guy on the set Such

14:21

a nice guy I had That that

14:23

Cedric show was also I had like

14:26

an episode was like my episode You

14:28

know where it was like I had

14:30

like three sketches. I wrote that was

14:32

gonna be you know It was my

14:35

big coming out and I literally came

14:37

out right now. It's like what's going

14:39

on you guys and Shock and off

14:41

started remember a night the Iraq war

14:44

and it just was gone and I

14:46

told everybody like it's my big show

14:48

and it just that happened and then

14:50

the one and it just was over

14:53

and I was back to I never

14:55

sold my cars back to my studio

14:57

department. Couldn't you think that studio executives

14:59

would be wise enough to go look?

15:02

We got Louis C.K. We have Cedric

15:04

the entertainer. We have a fucking show.

15:06

Let's figure out a way to promote

15:08

this correctly. And it was funny. It

15:11

was just, and it's so hard to

15:13

promote this correctly. It was funny. It

15:15

was just, and it's so hard to

15:17

make a funny schedule. It was just,

15:20

and it's so hard to make the

15:22

first set of S&L. But all these

15:24

sketch shows they put together, and they'll

15:26

say don't pitch a sketch show, they

15:29

never work. It's because they like pluck

15:31

people who don't even do sketch, you

15:33

know. It's like putting together a boy

15:35

band. Exactly, yeah. You know, like you

15:38

have to put together a fake band.

15:40

Not a bunch of guys who grew

15:42

up together in Seattle, been playing in

15:44

the basement, no. That works better though.

15:47

Find some, yeah, that works better. If

15:49

you put them, just put a bunch

15:51

of hot dudes together. Get some good

15:53

hair and let them millie-venilly it up.

15:56

Yeah, but for those days. Millie-venilly, they

15:58

got a bad deal. Like now they'd

16:00

be fine. They'd be fine. No one

16:02

cares if that's your voice. You're hot.

16:05

I love you dreadlocks.

16:07

Great. Great bodies. Great

16:09

bodies. Great cocks. Girl, I

16:12

know it's true. Yeah, that's a...

16:14

I do like our music. I love

16:16

you. No, you don't. I like

16:18

that song. I do. I like that

16:20

song. It was like a big

16:22

time band. And there was

16:24

like this beautiful woman who

16:27

was singing. and it turned

16:29

out it wasn't really her

16:31

singing. There was some big heavy

16:33

lady who was actually singing. Oh,

16:35

it's always, yeah, it's always like a

16:37

big, you know, it was a big

16:39

factor. It was one of those fucking,

16:41

something factory, what was the

16:43

band? Yes. They didn't say? There was

16:46

a situation like that, right, wasn't there? Where

16:48

some lady Jamie will find it. There was

16:50

some- He knows everything. He knows everything. Jamie

16:53

hates me. No he doesn't love you. He

16:55

talked about you earlier today. He was saying

16:57

nice things. He's bipolar. I know. He got

16:59

hit by a golf ball. Yeah, I saw

17:02

his. It's so cool. I want that. I

17:04

was watching him. He's got that really cool

17:06

golf set. back there. Oh yeah, Jamie can

17:08

golf his ass off. I have a buddy

17:11

who got hit in the head with a

17:13

golf ball. He said he was fucked up

17:15

for six months. Oh really? You got

17:17

hit in the head with a line

17:20

drive. Just don'tk. I hit a kid

17:22

with a golf ball. He was all

17:24

right though. Luckily I didn't get a

17:26

good swing on. Do I see those

17:28

guys that like do those power swings

17:31

on the internet? Like where they loop

17:33

their arm around and fucking drive through

17:35

and like, so imagine getting hit with

17:37

one of those balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

17:39

It's like getting hit with like a

17:42

fucking, like a shotgun shooting a rubber

17:44

bullet at you. Yeah, yeah, they're really,

17:46

yeah, if you get a nice skull,

17:48

worm burner, you could kill a duck

17:50

if you just really see those videos

17:53

of pieces. Just snapping. Crazy. It's like

17:55

what are the odds that it would

17:57

perfectly be there when there's a hundred

17:59

miles? Oh my god. Who was that?

18:01

Was that Randy? Yeah. Randy? What's his

18:04

last name? Randy Johnson. He was

18:06

so tall. He was like halfway

18:08

to the thing. Martha Wash, most

18:10

famous unknown singer of the 90s,

18:12

speaks. How a voice behind, it's

18:15

raining man, gonna make you sweat

18:17

and strike it up. Went from

18:19

being a bullied victim to an

18:21

industry pioneer. So what song was

18:23

at the CNC music factor song?

18:26

She's cute, why didn't they give her

18:28

a shot? I don't know. I didn't

18:30

know what scene-c music factory looks like.

18:32

Were they a good-looking? They probably were.

18:34

Well, that was the move back then.

18:36

You get good-looking people. They dance around.

18:38

Now you just get AI to do

18:40

it. Well, this was the first time

18:42

where they were experimenting really with images

18:44

in a way where everything's visual. It's

18:46

all video. You know, like MTV was

18:48

so important. Oh my god. I like

18:50

the ugly years of musicians. Gonna make

18:52

you sweats, the same song as everybody

18:55

dancing. Oh, that's it. So that's it.

18:57

Some other lady in the video was singing

18:59

it, but that lady was singing it, but

19:01

that lady was the real voice behind it.

19:03

But she just didn't look like they

19:05

wanted her to look. Uncredited vocals on the

19:08

chorus. It's just so crazy. Do you don't

19:10

think what's happened with like Lizzo? You don't

19:12

think that would have happened in 1994 would

19:14

have happened in 1994? Of course it. If

19:16

you just tried it. Everybody! That reminds me

19:18

of college. I went to school for acting,

19:21

which is the dumbest thing you can ever

19:23

go to school for. What did you learn?

19:25

Nothing. What did you learn? Honestly, I learned

19:27

to be a worst actor. I really believe

19:29

that. It was like Shakespeare and stuff. I'm

19:31

like, I'm terrible at that. All my teachers

19:34

thought I was just terrible. And it was

19:36

one class. Athlets have to be very

19:38

careful about how they treat their bodies,

19:41

something everyone wants to do actually, right?

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20:48

out literally like this was called

20:50

movement for the actor now imagine like

20:53

your parents my parents pay for college

20:55

is so nice of them I don't

20:57

have any debt but like what a

20:59

waste of my parents money it was

21:01

this is an hour class movement for

21:03

the actors they put on music like

21:05

everybody dance notes one of the things

21:07

and then you're supposed to just

21:09

creatively like do whatever so these

21:11

a bunch of weirdos like $50,000. So

21:14

I'm in the, and I'm in my

21:16

head like, what the fuck is, this

21:18

doesn't make me a bet. So you're

21:20

fake and, and then this teacher was

21:22

like, we're doing Shakespeare, he's like, bring

21:24

in tights next week for the

21:26

Shakespeare, your performance. And I'm like, I'm

21:28

not buying tights and coming in here

21:30

with tights. Like why would I have

21:33

to do that? Because back then. they'd

21:35

dress in their normal clothes. You know

21:37

what I mean? Shakespeare wrote the thing,

21:39

they were just in their clothes. It

21:41

wasn't like getting tights to do hamlet.

21:44

So I just didn't get tights. And

21:46

they come in, he's like, where's your

21:48

tights? He's like, this is like very

21:50

effeminate guy who hated me. And he

21:52

goes, where are your tights, Kyle? And

21:54

I was like, oh, I forgot my tights.

21:57

He's like, make sure you're bigger than

21:59

your tights. and I go, oh, I

22:01

brought my tights. Like, darn it. I wish

22:03

I brought my tights. Oh, yeah, I was

22:05

like, oh, that's probably your best acting. Brought

22:07

my tights. Yeah, I was really good at

22:09

acting like I didn't, like I wanted to

22:11

bring my tights. So he goes, get mine.

22:13

They're in, they're in the back, you know,

22:15

it was like, so I, these green tights.

22:17

Kermit the frog. Yeah, I look like Kermit.

22:20

Yeah. By the way, and I did tell

22:22

him, I said, listen, because I tried to

22:24

negotiate before I put his tights on him,

22:26

like, but they didn't, they just wore their

22:28

clothes like back then, and he was like,

22:30

get the tights. Like, I want to see

22:32

you in tights. Brian Callum was always going

22:34

to acting schools, and he knew they were

22:36

ridiculous, but I don't, like, like, Brian at

22:38

one point at one point in time was

22:40

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:42

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, completely

22:44

enam, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:46

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:48

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:50

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

22:53

like, like, like, like, like, like in Hollywood,

22:55

like he had a bunch of like famous

22:57

actor friends and he'd go to famous actor

22:59

parties and he'd take acting classes. He's always

23:01

working on his craft. I love that, working

23:03

on my craft. By the way, that's bullshit.

23:05

He was where? He was fucking around. But

23:07

he was where? He was fucking around. Yeah,

23:09

he was where. He was fucking around. Like

23:11

when he would say working on my craft,

23:13

he wasn't being serious. But insert, by the

23:15

way, it's not the pick on Scientology, insert

23:17

whatever religion. There's a lot, there was a

23:19

lot of Scientology that was in Hollywood though,

23:21

but what they would do is they would

23:23

get people to join the acting class and

23:26

they would try to recruit them into Scientology,

23:28

because the teacher was a scientist. He would

23:30

talk about how important it was. You never

23:32

try to be in Scientology? Yeah, yeah, how

23:34

important it was for his craft or is

23:36

it? Meanwhile, they're never successful. The people that

23:38

teaching the acting classes, they're always terrible. Yeah.

23:40

They never go anywhere. Like, maybe they have

23:42

like a small part on one thing, and

23:44

then they're gonna tell you how to make

23:46

it. Yeah, you never hear that speech to

23:48

the office. Like, when I was a teacher,

23:50

I didn't think I'd ever be here. Yeah.

23:52

Not. to say that's not good acting teachers

23:54

out there. I'm sure there are. There's people

23:56

that just like love theater. They love like

23:58

that kind of act. They have no desire

24:01

to be famous. They love the craft. They

24:03

love the art of it. That's true too,

24:05

right? But anyway, this guy, he was really

24:07

in a show tunes and he would do

24:09

a big show. at the end of the

24:11

class or whatever in the quarter, whatever it

24:13

was. He had this big show at this

24:15

local theater and Brian's like, you have to

24:17

come and watch a guy with the tiniest

24:19

feet you've ever seen in your life. He

24:21

had these little, I couldn't take my eyes

24:23

off his feet because he had loafers on

24:25

and they were like that big. And this

24:27

guy would sing like so passionately these show

24:29

tunes. From like musicals like there's no context.

24:31

You know he didn't see the musical medley

24:34

like a medley I love that sounds like

24:36

a great show what you came there for

24:38

his to see his feet That was like

24:40

the why you know Brian was like fascinated

24:42

by how small his feet were and then

24:44

I couldn't stop because we were high so

24:46

I couldn't stop looking at that's that small

24:48

that no they were tiny they were like

24:50

a little tiny feet I dated this girl

24:52

once and she was like, I have a

24:54

shoe show, I'm a shoe model, right? And

24:56

I'm like, oh, a shoe show, okay. A

24:58

shoe model? Yeah, foot model. Like, she would

25:00

model shoes. Okay, like open toad shoes? I

25:02

just would have, like I didn't know, but

25:04

that's what she would say, she was going

25:07

to do this. And she always had like

25:09

dollar bills, she always said cash, you know?

25:11

And I found out years later, because she

25:13

was a stripper. Shoe shell is when you

25:15

had no clothes on. And I just thought,

25:17

she was a shoe. Oh, by the way,

25:19

here's another. I thought it was going another

25:21

direction. No. She had great feet, but another

25:23

stoop, this was even the dumber class and

25:25

the moving around class, was called interpretation for

25:27

the actor. So this week, you would read

25:29

a play like Streetcar Name Desire, and then

25:31

you'd come in and you'd do your interpretation

25:33

of it. So the weirder you were, the

25:35

better grade you got. Okay? So one guy

25:37

comes that he did Streetcar, and he...

25:40

He put, it was

25:42

a big mirror, you

25:44

know, cause was also

25:46

a dance room. And

25:48

he took a lipstick

25:50

and he wrote whore

25:52

within lipstick. This is

25:54

so know what the

25:56

straight card name is,

25:58

yeah. Then he pulled

26:00

his pants down, started

26:02

fucking the mirror, and

26:04

then he turned to

26:06

us and he goes,

26:08

fuck you. And he

26:10

left and then everyone

26:13

started clapping. And I

26:15

was like, I gotta

26:17

get the fuck out

26:19

of here. Listen

26:23

to what I, so I'm like,

26:25

cause I got like a D on

26:27

my, whatever I did. So I'm like,

26:30

I'm gonna be fucking weird my next,

26:32

I didn't read any of the things.

26:34

I like, I have a trouble reading.

26:36

I don't know how to read. I

26:38

just never learned. So I got, I

26:40

got, I have Glass Menagerie is

26:42

my book, didn't read it, whatever. I

26:45

just went in there, I got an

26:47

egg, okay? And I had a, I

26:49

took one of my mother's a Waterford

26:51

crystal glasses and a string. And I

26:53

took the string and I was just

26:55

like, nobody sails the seas if they

26:58

don't find their way. Then I clipped

27:00

the string and the glass fell and

27:02

broke. Then I went outside, you could

27:04

see it and I buried an egg.

27:06

It makes no fucking sense. And then

27:08

the guy said, what grade do you

27:10

think you should get? And I said

27:12

an A and he gave me an

27:15

A. That was my college work. He's

27:17

brilliant. By the way, I'm working on

27:19

my craft. By the way, are you

27:21

really working? Like when you were, Meryl

27:24

Streep was an amazing actress when she

27:26

was 20 and she's amazing now. She

27:28

never, no, are you working four hours

27:30

a day getting better at acting? No,

27:32

you're not. You're not training. There's a

27:35

little bit you can kind of learn,

27:37

but you're done after a little bit.

27:39

If you're not Daniel Day -Lewis already.

27:41

Fucking love that guy. Yeah, if you're

27:43

not that guy already, you're probably never

27:45

gonna be able to do that. They

27:47

talk like they're like working their piano

27:49

skills all day and four days a

27:51

year, crap. You know, the problem what

27:53

we did was is we were like,

27:55

we, not me at all. But when

27:57

they were like, oh, let's make some

28:00

more money. We'll have an award show

28:02

and then we'll make money. That's why

28:04

they're. the Oscars. Oh yeah. But the actors thought we're doing something really great.

28:06

The Oscars are like the Olympics for actors. Yeah. I mean the Olympics at

28:08

least you're like I don't know doing something you

28:10

can quantify but like a nine-year-old

28:13

a nine-year-old one an Oscar like

28:15

how like it did not be like

28:17

a nine-year-old like best surgeon. It's like

28:19

it's a thing you can do or it

28:21

kind of can't do or it's a

28:23

little bit of learning but certainly not

28:25

movement for the actor for the actor

28:27

or a brain surgery. It's not brain

28:29

surgery. No, it's not working on your

28:31

craft. It's not even like painting. It's

28:33

not even like when you crunch a

28:35

ball you throw into a basket like

28:37

at work. The skill is like. Well,

28:39

it's one of the few, it's one of

28:42

the few careers where it's a benefit to

28:44

be out of your fucking mind. Yeah,

28:46

it's about personnel like I love,

28:48

we love the person like Jeff

28:50

Goldbloom, like that guy, Chris we're

28:52

walking, Jack Nicholson, like there's amazing

28:54

actors, like the people party. crazy

28:56

wild people you know the story

28:58

behind it to be yeah i

29:00

miss jack nickelson oh yeah he

29:03

was the old jack he was

29:05

the just who's best he was

29:07

seeing flirt with Jennifer Lawrence to

29:09

ever see that video no how old was

29:11

he at the time a thousand he was

29:13

one thousand he was one thousand wait Jamie

29:15

do you have that I don't mean to

29:17

run this show but it's a it's a

29:20

good schooling on like he's so cool and

29:22

this girl's way too young for him but

29:24

um They were much.

29:26

Yeah, no? If

29:29

you want to

29:31

talk politics, we

29:33

can. Thank you.

29:35

Yeah, you're being

29:37

really rude. Good to

29:40

see you. Oh really?

29:42

Did I look like

29:44

a new girl then?

29:46

I thought about it.

29:48

Did you look like a

29:51

new girl then? I

29:53

thought about it. You

29:55

think that... So it

29:58

became flirtation. but it

30:00

was mostly just complementary to her movie. What

30:02

movie was that? He stayed cool and he

30:05

just, he makes that eye contact and then...

30:07

It's like you need crazy people to make

30:09

great movies. She was flirting actually probably one

30:11

of them. She flirted with him. You need

30:13

crazy people to make good movies. You need

30:15

it. You need a guy who's going to

30:18

pretend he's Lincoln for four months. You know

30:20

that there will be blood I just saw

30:22

it. Oh my god phenomenal. What's that? I

30:24

drink it off. What was it? Silver Lining's

30:27

playbook. I think her and Bradley Cooper. I

30:29

didn't see that one. I drink your milkshake.

30:31

Oh my god. It was so good. He

30:33

was such a great psychopath. It's like the

30:35

if I read that movie I think I'd

30:38

be like this is boring. There will

30:40

be blood is just Right, I'll

30:42

drink your milk shake, what? At

30:44

the end, he's talking, that guy

30:46

was religious, who's like, can I

30:48

have some of your, I've, and

30:50

he's like, no, there's no more

30:52

oil under you, he's like, I

30:54

drank it up, I, and he

30:56

just made the analogy of a

30:58

straw, like drank up his thing,

31:00

and then he beats him with

31:02

a, bowling pin, he's like, I'm

31:05

finished one of the best endings

31:07

to a movie. Yeah, it

31:09

was a fucked. It was

31:11

a fucked. Why is this

31:13

dude crying already? He needs

31:15

money. He got broke. And

31:18

he's coming in a prosperous

31:20

little business. Three wells

31:22

producing $5,000 a

31:24

week. Why is this dude

31:27

crying already? He needs money.

31:29

He needs money. He got

31:31

broke. And he's coming back

31:34

to like beg him. to

31:39

slither out on your mother's

31:41

filth. They should have put

31:43

you in a glass jar

31:46

on a mantelpiece. Where were

31:48

you when Paul was suckling

31:51

at his mother's teeth? Where

31:53

were you? Who was nursing

31:55

you? Poor Eli. One of

31:58

bandist sows. That land has

32:00

been had. Cut to

32:03

the bar

32:06

we kill

32:09

them. Is

32:12

it in

32:15

there? No,

32:18

they cut

32:21

it out.

32:28

My straw

32:31

reaches a

32:33

cruise through

32:36

and starts

32:38

to drink

32:41

your milkshake.

32:44

I drink

32:46

it up.

32:49

Don't bully

32:51

me Daniel.

32:56

Choices they say in school. It's the choices

32:58

you make in your performance Yeah, it's also

33:00

you got to be out of your fucking

33:02

mind You got to be able to become

33:04

that guy. I know but most people can't

33:06

do that most people can't lie that good

33:08

Yeah, I mean he becomes those people where

33:10

becomes to live with that guy would be

33:12

probably a nightmare during that movie Oh would

33:15

be a nightmare. Yeah, imagine that guy's your

33:17

roommate Who ate

33:19

my cheese? My Cheerios! I ate them

33:21

all day long. He's a murderous psychopath.

33:23

And what if he slips into character

33:25

too much? What if he lights your

33:27

house on fire? Just a stained character.

33:29

At least he does back it up.

33:32

Yeah, I mean like he hasn't done

33:34

anything too crazy. Well there's a lot

33:36

of people to do that. Like they

33:38

play a brawler and they start fights

33:40

with people in the streets. You know,

33:42

like people get crazy with with film

33:44

roles, with who they become. Yeah, who's

33:46

that guy? But that's a great movie.

33:49

Who's that guy? Who's that guy? Who's

33:51

a great movie? Who's that guy? Who's

33:53

a great movie? Who's that? Like when

33:55

they go too far with it. A

33:57

lot of rumors too, but like. A

33:59

lot of rumors too, but like, like,

34:01

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

34:03

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

34:06

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

34:08

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

34:10

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

34:12

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

34:14

like, like, like, like, screaming at the

34:16

guy for getting in the way of

34:18

his lighting or something? No, those guy

34:20

was moving around, the background was distracting.

34:23

And he's like, can't you have fucking

34:25

professional? Remember that? Yeah. Because he was

34:27

in like some heavy scene. Yeah, but

34:29

that does happen, man, where people don't

34:31

pay attention and they're on their phone

34:33

or they're fuck off in the background.

34:35

Yeah, so they're right in the eye

34:37

line. The thing that I found interesting

34:39

about interesting about that was his accent

34:42

was his accent. I found that quite

34:44

interesting, yes indeed, yes. That guy is

34:46

another fucking amazing actor. Another amazing actor.

34:48

Was it psycho movie, American, Psycho, so

34:50

good? Insane, but the craziest thing he

34:52

ever did was when he almost died,

34:54

making that machinist movie. Got down like

34:56

120 pounds. Oh, he played a guy

34:59

with narco. It's a terrible movie. Not

35:01

terrible, it's just not very good. But

35:03

I mean, to have a guy who's

35:05

like a leading man and almost die

35:07

for a movie that no one saw.

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four free months by scanning the QCR

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code on screen or by clicking the

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link. in the description. I almost I

36:23

almost got I got a movie was

36:26

like the only it was right in

36:28

between it was walking Phoenix's movie was

36:30

so bad only movie I ever got

36:32

and it was between the Joker and

36:34

the neck it was like set up

36:36

to be this big movie it was

36:38

Gus Van Zant movie and I to

36:40

get the I was a doctor I

36:43

had to say all these crazy things

36:45

technical about the spine and the And

36:47

I knew if I could just get

36:49

through this audition and just say this,

36:51

I'll get this part. I'll be in

36:53

the top 10% because everyone's gonna fuck

36:55

up this and be staring at a

36:57

piece of paper. So I did the

36:59

whole script. I had like, when I

37:02

tap here, say this, I had a

37:04

whole thing that made me memorize it.

37:06

And I went and I got it.

37:08

I go to do the thing. No

37:10

one talks to me. The guy who

37:12

did the wardrobe guy goes, what output

37:14

you want? He showed me a couple

37:16

and I was like, this one, I'm

37:19

choosing the outfit of this doctor. I

37:21

was like, okay. And then never saw

37:23

Gus Van Zant. And then I get

37:25

there and they go, just when they

37:27

say action, go in there and then

37:29

do your scene. There was no blocking

37:31

or anything. And I'm like, okay. And

37:33

I've never done a movie before. And

37:36

I'm like, this is how I don't

37:38

think this I do. So I don't

37:40

think this I do. I do. So

37:42

I don't think this. And Gus Van

37:44

Zant comes up after me and goes,

37:46

have we met before? I audition like

37:48

three times for him and I got

37:50

the part. And I'm like, yeah. And

37:53

he goes, you're talking. over Waukeen. And

37:55

I go, don't talk over Waukeen. I

37:57

couldn't hear Waukeen at all because he

37:59

was just like, I'm not doing his

38:01

lines like that, you know? And I

38:03

wouldn't think as the doctor talking to

38:05

like assistants that I would stop talking

38:07

in the middle of my sentence as

38:09

well, he's talking because he was talking

38:12

to himself. But it was the weirdest

38:14

thing. Terrible movie. Was he playing an

38:16

insane person? He was cripple. Is that

38:18

PC? Did we say that? He couldn't.

38:20

He couldn't move his legs. Yeah. He

38:22

was the guy. He was a cartoonist.

38:24

I'm blanking on the name of the

38:26

movie. But he was a cartoonist. And

38:29

it was just a very weird experience.

38:31

But the movie. Anyway, my point is,

38:33

is terrible. It's terrible movie. But you

38:35

thought it's going to be a banger.

38:37

This was your shot. No, because at

38:39

this point in my career, like the

38:41

shock and all, like this, these things

38:43

happen to you over and over again,

38:46

where I'm just like kind of laugh,

38:48

and it's like, okay. I remember I

38:50

was, I was, yeah, there's been a

38:52

bunch of situations where like get ready

38:54

for the rocket ship, Kyle, because things

38:56

are about to take off, and I'm

38:58

always like, okay. Yeah, the old rocket

39:00

ship, isn't funny, like everybody wants to,

39:03

like everybody wants to, like everybody wants

39:05

to, like, like, like, like, like, like,

39:07

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

39:09

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

39:11

like, like, like, like, like, Like that's

39:13

where the real making it is the

39:15

real making it is just not worrying

39:17

about that anymore The real making it

39:19

is just like oh I can make

39:22

a living That's the real that's a

39:24

big hump. Yeah, that's the hump. That's

39:26

the hump. That's the hump like young

39:28

comics that are just starting to like

39:30

headline now and you know they've got

39:32

some like viral clips. I'm like dude.

39:34

Listen to me. You have already made

39:36

it Like you're a professional now. This

39:39

is the hump. Everything now is just

39:41

stick to the grind. Stick to the...

39:43

It's gravy from here on out. Like

39:45

you should be so happy. You're talented

39:47

and you're successful. It's actually happening. People

39:49

are paying to come see you. I'm

39:51

like, you got this. Like from here?

39:53

Because everyone's like, man, what if they

39:56

stop coming? What do they... Don't give

39:58

any of that. You should have fun.

40:00

Have fun. They want you to have

40:02

fun. Come on. Yeah, so much your

40:04

job is have fun. Your job is

40:06

to have fun. I wish they told,

40:08

someone told me, because I really did

40:10

not get this advice for a long,

40:13

long time. Some people that are super

40:15

successful still don't do that. There's guys

40:17

out there that are super successful, that

40:19

are paying attention to the ticket sales

40:21

of other super successful guys. Yeah, that's

40:23

not good place to be. I'm talking

40:25

about arena acts. Oh really? Oh yeah!

40:27

That's mental illness. People get kooky.

40:30

They get kooky with like numbers

40:32

in their position in the ladder

40:34

and am I making it? Is

40:36

it happening? What is their name

40:38

rhyme with? I'm not telling you.

40:40

Jamie knows I could tell by the silence.

40:42

I like them too. I like a lot

40:45

of people that think ridiculous things, but it's

40:47

just it's a trap that you know the

40:49

struggle that led you to become successful something

40:51

in the first place that becomes like your

40:54

mentality once you're in a different stage of

40:56

it and you have to adjust. It's hard

40:58

to be able to adjust. It's almost like

41:00

changing your personality to change that habit. Yeah.

41:02

It's really difficult. Well everybody adjusts a little

41:05

bit right because you first get into it

41:07

because you want attention. Like you first get

41:09

into it because you think maybe I can

41:11

be a comedian that'd be cool I'd be

41:13

on stage I get attention and then

41:15

after that you don't need that that's not

41:17

where you really want anymore like Danny becomes

41:19

like I just wanted to get better I

41:21

just I'm working on this thing I just

41:24

want it to work I want it to

41:26

pop on stage I want to figure out

41:28

the right beets I want to figure out

41:30

the right way to say it then it

41:32

becomes that that's the happy spot that's

41:34

where you're happy spot that's where

41:36

you're happy spot I wish someone

41:38

told me that because I had

41:40

a viral some viral YouTube videos

41:42

like way back and I did

41:44

I was still on like sitcom

41:46

I got to get a sitcom

41:48

mentality where if someone was just

41:50

like dude focus on your YouTube

41:52

and get your audience go directly to

41:55

your audience yeah back then no one

41:57

knew no one had any idea like

41:59

just think about this podcast was started

42:01

in 2009 and in 2009 everybody thought

42:03

it was a pathetic waste of time.

42:05

Yeah I remember. Like friends would come

42:07

over to do my podcast and be

42:09

like what are you doing like why

42:11

are you doing this? It's like it's

42:13

such a waste of time you're at

42:15

a fucking webcam but it's nobody saw

42:17

that comment. Did you? I would have

42:19

never given you that advice back then

42:22

just did you just do it? You

42:24

did it because it was enjoyable. You

42:26

weren't like thinking like this is the

42:28

way. I always wanted a radio show,

42:30

but no one would ever give me

42:32

a radio show. You know, so I

42:34

would, when I would do radio shows,

42:36

like if I would do, sit in

42:38

on Opie and Anthony and be like,

42:40

this is so fun, I'd love to

42:42

do something like this, but no one's

42:44

gonna give me one of these fucking

42:46

things. That's, that's, that's, that's how I

42:48

thought, like, full beer. eggs on tap

42:50

there. He's drinking Guinness and he's fucking

42:52

doing karaoke where he's holding a machine

42:54

gun. It was most ridiculous shit. But

42:56

he had a full professional studio where

42:58

he had green screen, he had like

43:00

pro microphones just in his basement for

43:02

funzies. Yeah. And I was like that's

43:04

what I want to do. I'll do

43:06

something like that for fun. And then

43:08

of course Tom Green like that internet

43:10

show in his... living room and I

43:12

remember looking around and going you just

43:14

got to figure out how to make

43:16

money with this like this is this

43:18

is a job like this can that's

43:20

nice you knew you wanted to do

43:22

that wow it just seemed like fun

43:24

That's the whole, like, I always loved

43:26

the opportunity to talk to interesting people

43:28

or funny people or, you know, I'm

43:30

a questioner. I like to ask questions,

43:32

like, how did you know that? Why

43:35

did you do that? Why did you

43:37

do that? Yeah, you found the right

43:39

thing. Yeah, I just got, it's just

43:41

like the opportunity to talk to cool

43:43

people, seems like, what a great thing

43:45

that would be, because it's always fun

43:47

to talk to cool people. Like, like,

43:49

you, like, like, if I was, Yeah,

43:51

you having a lot of interest helps.

43:53

Oh, fucking for sure. Yeah, you got

43:55

a good guess. But back then, I

43:57

would have told you to get a

43:59

sitcom. because there was no money on

44:01

YouTube. Everybody still wanted a sitcom back

44:03

then. The other one guy who didn't,

44:05

and I was like, he's lying. Zachalifonacus

44:07

was like, I don't want to do

44:09

a sitcom. And then I'm like, oh,

44:11

he's lying. But he actually had like

44:13

a very... He had his head together.

44:15

Yeah, he's not lying about nothing. I

44:17

mean that guy He's the least attention

44:19

hoary of any famous favorite famous person

44:21

never famous funny person ever does he

44:23

live like a truck? Yeah, he is

44:25

like a track Yeah, very interesting guy

44:27

very smart guy very smart. He was

44:29

good friends with Brody Yeah, he was

44:31

one of the first people to alert

44:33

me when Brody was off the meds

44:35

Like there was a time when Brody

44:37

was office meds. Do you remember that?

44:39

Mm-hmm. People don't know. We're talking about

44:41

our late great friend Brody Stevens. Who

44:43

was like that. So funny. He was

44:45

so fun. Brody Stevens is like one

44:48

of the best examples of like it's

44:50

not what's written on paper. Yeah, you

44:52

wouldn't. Yeah, if you got his act

44:54

on paper, you're like, this is not

44:56

going to work. Right, you'd be like,

44:58

this is nonsense. This doesn't make any

45:00

sense at all. Meanwhile, everyone's lining up

45:02

in the back of the room to

45:04

see him say it. So, yeah, I

45:06

think it's like that Andy Kaufman of

45:08

our like a little time period there

45:10

where it was like... Andy Kaufman was

45:12

a brilliant actor and a brilliant comedic

45:14

actor who's great on taxi, but he,

45:16

I don't think he ever killed on

45:18

stage like Brody, like Brody, like Brody,

45:20

like Brody did. Brody was, one time

45:22

we were in the improv. Oh yeah,

45:24

a different type of comedy, but it

45:26

was like, you know, a different, when

45:28

he, when I was on stage, like

45:30

people, the comedians watched. Yes. It was

45:32

a different thing. He's doing his own

45:34

thing. He's doing this Brody Stephen's thing.

45:36

One time we're at the improv and

45:38

it's really late. Like I'd gone up,

45:40

a lot of people gone up, the

45:42

crowd was kind of tired, half the

45:44

people there. And they announced that Brody's

45:46

there and Brody's worried that people are

45:48

going to get up. So Brody takes

45:50

his shirt off and he starts swinging

45:52

around in the air over his head

45:54

and walking through the crowd. Let's go!

45:56

Positive energy! And he gets on stage

45:58

and he pulls drumsticks out of his

46:01

back pocket, starts beating the chairs, and

46:03

he starts talking shit. He just changed

46:05

the energy of the whole room. Change

46:07

the energy of the whole room. I

46:09

don't think there's anybody, like since him

46:11

I can't think of somebody who's like

46:13

replaced it. Someone will replace that, but.

46:15

They're gonna do it in their own

46:17

way. You gotta go like, you have

46:19

Brody's on stage, you have to go

46:21

walk. Holzman's like that now. Holzman? Oh,

46:23

I don't know him. Brian Holzman? You

46:25

don't know Brian Holzman? No. Oh my

46:27

God. You let him stay at your

46:29

house? You don't even know? No, I

46:31

say I stay at home. You've never

46:33

had a Holtzman at the comedy store?

46:35

No. That's crazy. You know what? I

46:37

might have been just didn't know his

46:39

name. Well, he would always gone late

46:41

at night. And unfortunately, you know, there

46:43

would be like 15 people left in

46:45

the crowd and Holzman would go on

46:47

these wild rants. He's like, one of

46:49

the funniest guys of all time. He's

46:51

like a complete, total comics comic comic

46:53

comic. Oh yeah, I don't know him

46:55

well. Holzman's at our club now all

46:57

the time. All the time. All the

46:59

time. But now he has a crowd.

47:01

Now people know about him. So they

47:03

come to see him. You cannot go

47:05

there. If anything, if you can't tolerate

47:07

literally everything, don't go. It's very dirty.

47:09

It's not it's not dirty. It's just

47:11

he's out of his fucking mind and

47:14

some of the and it's kind of

47:16

in character But you're not really sure

47:18

I like missy sure wouldn't let him

47:20

on stage for two weeks after 9-11

47:22

She wouldn't let him up. He can't

47:24

go up He's like missy. I don't

47:26

understand. I'm not gonna cross any lines.

47:28

He's like couldn't wait to cross lines.

47:30

Do you remember when Susan Smith that

47:32

lady drowned her kids? The day He's

47:34

on stage. Ladies and gentlemen, I heard

47:36

those are bad kids. I heard they

47:38

sat that close to the TV. They

47:40

didn't put away their blocks. They always

47:42

spilt their fucking milk. Those kids are

47:44

not going to be missed. And you're

47:46

like, what? What does the audience do?

47:48

What do they allow? Yeah. Hollywood, comedy

47:50

store, sunset, sunset. So he would say

47:52

the wildest, most insane shit, but also

47:54

have a really good. point half the

47:56

time. Like it was comedy wrapped up

47:58

at a point and then every now

48:00

and then he let you in on

48:02

it like that it was just it's

48:04

just fucking around and go right back

48:06

to it. Yeah yeah. And you know

48:08

it's it's a little dance he's doing

48:10

with the crowd and you got to

48:12

know what the dance is but if

48:14

you know what the dance is like

48:16

comics love them like whenever he's on

48:18

stage we was sitting the balcony and watch

48:21

Holtzman at the mother ship. It sounds like

48:23

that other guy who's older and playing and

48:25

playing on his name. He's like, what

48:27

do you people to inherit this

48:30

hour? Oh, Lewis Black? No. Jesus,

48:32

who are you talking about? He's at

48:34

the store. Eddie Peppetone? I'm having,

48:36

any Peppetone. Eddie Peppetone. I love

48:39

that guy. Oh yeah, he's great

48:41

too. Very similar in a lot

48:43

of ways, like just insane energy

48:45

and has a point, but is

48:48

also saying, completely wacky. Yeah, it's,

48:50

it's, I love like these. Like

48:52

how long careers can be? Peptone. Yeah,

48:54

he is. I think he started late.

48:56

I think he started late. I think

48:58

so. I was at least I wasn't

49:00

aware of him until later. It's good.

49:02

We have long career like I was

49:04

thinking about sports guys, you know, like

49:06

you're baseball playing that's your identity and

49:09

then you're 30 and you're like, it's

49:11

over. Yeah, well, you can go to maybe

49:13

40. Like Tom Brady still playing football. Was

49:15

he like 42 when he retired? Until that's

49:17

young. Young as fuck if you're a

49:20

comic. If your identity is I'm a

49:22

sports, you know, player, I'm like a

49:24

sports player. That's how much I know.

49:26

I just revealed how, what a good

49:28

big sports guy. Sports player. You know,

49:30

you're a sports player. An athlete makes

49:32

a ton of money for a very

49:35

short amount of time. That's why they

49:37

all go broke. Or not all of them,

49:39

but a large amount of them go bankrupt.

49:41

It's also just like, like, you

49:43

think about your identity when you're a kid.

49:46

you know, identity as an athletic person, then

49:48

you become like a professional and must be

49:50

difficult to just, you have to really never

49:52

hook into that, like that's my identity. It's

49:54

also like if you're a really hot woman,

49:57

I think it's hard when, you know, you

49:59

gotta like... Not having that be your

50:01

identity. Can't be your whole thing because

50:03

one day it's going to go away.

50:06

But if you're an athlete it goes

50:08

away even quicker than being a hot

50:10

lady. Like there's hot ladies that are

50:13

in their 50s. They're still hot. They

50:15

maintain their looks. Hot ladies in the

50:17

50s. They work out. They take care

50:19

of their skin. But there's no like

50:22

super athletes that are in their 50s.

50:24

he played golf no he was a

50:26

boxer world champion boxer in their 50s

50:28

good multiple division world champion boxer it

50:31

was beating world champions at 50 years

50:33

old did Tyson was he full on

50:35

going full on i don't know i'm

50:38

not my time now but i would

50:40

say by the tone of my voice

50:42

you can sense a little bit of

50:44

skepticism yeah anybody who's a combat sports

50:47

athlete looked at that and said you

50:49

know i'm happy Mike Tyson made money

50:51

it seemed like he held back a

50:53

little bit but Maybe there was an

50:56

agreement. I wasn't there. That would be

50:58

I doubt I'm not one for wild

51:00

speculation. No, you're not. No, you don't

51:03

get involved with anything until he was

51:05

69 years old and 276 days. Who

51:07

is that? I mean I thank you

51:09

but I sometimes I look in the

51:12

mirror and I'm like 69. Yeah I

51:14

mean he wasn't he wasn't in the

51:16

NHL at that point but he played

51:19

a professional hockey game at that age

51:21

yeah. That's insane. Hey Joe can I

51:23

have a cigar I want to look

51:25

manly I need I need something to

51:28

look manly because I don't get some

51:30

freshies out of the I don't have

51:32

the... I mean I thank you but

51:34

I sometimes I look in the mirror

51:37

and I'm like that guy looks like...

51:39

Kelly Slater also pro surfer still rolling

51:41

I'm gonna look ridiculous Kelly's a great

51:44

example. He's another example of someone who

51:46

just takes care of themselves But Bernard

51:48

Hopkins was a wounds like Bernard Hopkins

51:50

world championship Fight that he had when

51:53

he was in his seven fifty years

51:55

Albert Hughes is the oldest pro pro

51:57

boxer at 70 years old. Oh my

52:00

god, that's seems like, where was he

52:02

out of, I'm gonna look, I don't,

52:04

what year, I know Archie Moore, who

52:06

was a famous boxer before the, um,

52:09

Mohammed Ali days, like Archie Moore was,

52:11

that's like way back in the, I

52:13

don't know what, oh, that's just sad.

52:15

Oh, that's just sad. No, no, no,

52:18

no, the guy's fighting, does not look,

52:20

oh, he's trying to try to hit

52:22

him, he's trying to hit him. He

52:25

wins. The old guy wins? That's what

52:27

the video headline says. This looks like

52:29

someone take a motherfookin' dive. Win over.

52:31

That kid needed money. Yeah, this kid's

52:34

not punching back at all. He's just

52:36

covering up. This looks super-suss. If I

52:38

was that, oh, and he just goes

52:40

down? Yeah, if I was the athletic

52:43

commission, I don't have a talk with

52:45

those fellows. I'm like, hey, what are

52:47

we doing here? Is this pro-? that

52:50

are fake fights. Like they've been offered

52:52

fights. 100% 100% I know people have

52:54

been offered fights where they said you

52:56

will win the fight. That's, I don't

52:59

like that at all. I know there's

53:01

celebrity boxing matches and celebrity fights that

53:03

are like that where they make a

53:06

deal. Would you ever do a legit

53:08

fight at some point? I'm old as

53:10

fuck dude. No, no, no, no, no,

53:12

no. No, you shouldn't do that kind

53:15

of stuff as you get older, I

53:17

don't think. I don't think your body's

53:19

as resilient, even if you stay fit

53:21

and in shape. You don't want head

53:24

trauma in your 50s. I've hit my

53:26

head so many times in my life.

53:28

I'm a little worried about it. So

53:31

Hopkins broke his own record by winning

53:33

the IBS Light Heavyway title from Beboot.

53:35

Shoeman off at ages 48 and 49.

53:37

That's fucking crazy. So he wins two

53:40

titles, a title at age 48 and

53:42

a title at age 49. Incredible. Are

53:44

those rigged? No. No, no, no, no,

53:46

no. No, no. No, the way that

53:49

he would box. was super intelligent, like

53:51

he was very defensively minded. You didn't

53:53

get clean shots off on Bernard Hopkins.

53:56

He was very clever and he understood

53:58

boxing, like at a very, very deep

54:00

level. His footwork was always on point,

54:02

never drank, never smoked, always took care

54:05

of his body, ate only organic food,

54:07

worked out every day, never got out

54:09

of shape, just all discipline. And so

54:12

he was able to maintain his body.

54:14

I remember that guy Brian... I think

54:16

I have to fill it. Oh, what

54:18

the fuck? It's not working? Piece of

54:21

shit. These things die. Oh, no way.

54:23

Irokos. Have you had that guy? I'm

54:25

gonna look ridiculous doing this. No, you

54:27

look like a man. I think more

54:30

of you now. Thanks, man. Joe said

54:32

I look like a man. Wouldn't that

54:34

be funny if that's all it takes?

54:37

I didn't like... No, I did not

54:39

started you something. Come on, bitch. I

54:41

think I think I have to fill

54:43

it. I have to fill it. I

54:46

have to fill it. Yeah, I only

54:48

got a corner. Have you had that

54:50

guy who's trying to live forever of

54:53

the vampire? No, I haven't. I'm really

54:55

fascinated with that guy. I like what

54:57

he's doing. He's trying... It's kind of

54:59

interesting, but he's doing a bunch of

55:02

stuff that I would say most experts

55:04

believe is not the way to go.

55:06

One of them is avoiding sunlight. Oh

55:08

yeah, you're supposed to get sunlight. Like

55:11

sunlight is important for your body, it's

55:13

the best way your body produces vitamin

55:15

D, it's great for your endorphins, sunlight

55:18

is good for you. This idea that

55:20

you should be shielded from the sun

55:22

because you're going to prevent skin cancer,

55:24

it's probably, I've talked to a dermatologist

55:27

about this and they were explaining that.

55:29

If you don't have resilience from the

55:31

sun, if you're not like used to

55:33

going out in the sun, then you

55:36

go out all in one burst and

55:38

get sunburned. He's like, yeah, sunburned is

55:40

not good for it. Yeah, he goes,

55:43

you're damaging your skin. What you should

55:45

do is get accustomed to being in

55:47

the sun so you don't get fucking

55:49

sunburned. And then be out in the

55:52

sun, don't get cooked, don't spend the

55:54

whole day out in the sun and

55:56

get cooked. But being on the sun

55:59

is actually good for you. It's healthy

56:01

for your body. Yes. That's just one

56:03

thing. The other thing is the vegan

56:05

thing. I get it if it's for

56:08

ethical concern. You've got this idea in

56:10

your mind that animal life is more

56:12

important than plant life. And you don't

56:14

want to contribute to animal death. Okay.

56:17

I understand that perspective, but

56:19

not from a health perspective.

56:21

From a health perspective, all

56:23

the studies that show that meat

56:25

causes this, it's all been debunked.

56:27

And not only that, most of

56:29

them are these epidemiology studies where

56:31

they ask people, like, how often

56:33

do you eat meat? Is it

56:35

two times a week, three times

56:37

a week, four times a week?

56:40

And the more people that ate

56:42

meat, the more people you see

56:44

diseases. problems, all these health consequences.

56:46

And so they go, oh, meat

56:48

correlates to these health consequences. What

56:50

you don't ask them is, how

56:52

did you eat the meat? Is

56:54

it a jack-in-the-box burger with a

56:56

fucking giant Coca-Cola? Did you have

56:58

fries that were cooked in seed

57:00

oil? Did you eat cake with

57:02

it? Do you smoke cigarettes? How

57:04

often do you drink? Do you

57:06

drink every night? Okay, like... People

57:08

that are more health conscious, especially

57:10

if they haven't read into it

57:12

enough, where they really understand what's

57:14

nutrient dense and what causes problems

57:17

with your health and what are

57:19

the real issues with high sugar

57:21

diets. Those people, they hear meat is

57:23

bad, so they say, you know what,

57:25

I'm just going to eat vegetarian. It

57:27

seems like it's healthier. I'm just going

57:29

to eat lentils. They're good for you.

57:31

They don't cause cancer. I write about

57:34

the China diet. And so you start

57:36

believing that. But that's not really true.

57:38

And people have eaten meat since

57:40

literally the beginning of time, and 95%

57:42

of the planet eats meat. There's a

57:45

bunch of things that likely contribute to

57:47

all sorts of metabolic diseases that

57:49

people have. I don't think regular

57:51

meat is one of them. I don't

57:53

think a grass-fed steak and a

57:55

fucking salad is gonna kill you. I

57:58

think the real issue is... buns

58:00

and fries and soda and chips

58:02

and cookies and the people that

58:04

don't avoid eating meat if they're

58:07

not well read about it they're

58:09

doing it because they don't give

58:11

a fuck I'm gonna eat a burger because

58:14

I want to eat a burger So you get

58:16

a lot of that. So in the people

58:18

that avoid meat, you get like a healthy

58:20

user bias. Because these are people that, even

58:22

if it's not correct, I know people that

58:24

truly believe that you can become a better

58:26

athlete on a vegan diet. I'm like, okay,

58:29

but there's no pros who have ever done

58:31

that. No pros have ever gone vegan

58:33

and been, especially at an explosive sport.

58:35

There's only like a few

58:37

people out there, like there's a

58:40

guy named Martin Bekole, do you

58:42

know who he is? Of course,

58:44

Martin Bekole, from the Cincinnati Red

58:46

Dogs. No, you're making it up.

58:49

Martin Bekole is one of the

58:51

best heavyweight boxers in the world.

58:53

He's this fucking enormous guy. I

58:55

think he's, I don't remember what

58:58

part of Africa he's from. He

59:00

might be Congolese. He's a

59:02

monster. And he's a vegetarian. It's

59:04

kind of crazy. Yeah, like one

59:06

of the best heavyweight boxes a lot

59:08

huge guy and he's a vegetarian It's

59:11

an aberration though. In vegetarian you can

59:13

still eat eggs eggs are probably as

59:15

good as anything if you want to

59:18

eat like one protein and you know

59:20

simple easy to digest has everything Eggs

59:22

are pretty fucking solid every day. I

59:24

actually tried to not eat meat for

59:27

a while for years ago and I

59:29

you need like a nutritionist with you

59:31

to really make sure you cover that

59:34

all your vitamins correctly and then you

59:36

gotta make sure you're not taking too

59:38

many vitamins and which ones are water

59:40

soluble which ones are fat soluble I

59:43

just caught myself in the camera here

59:45

I look ridiculous smoking this thing are

59:47

you look like a man I get

59:49

to it thanks Joe like you more

59:52

this way great hide those things from

59:54

people you shouldn't be able to look

59:56

at yourself it's bad for you I love it I

59:58

love it I love that oh Joe just turned

1:00:00

the camera. It's just like read in

1:00:03

the comments. Don't do it. By the

1:00:05

way, you know these young kids, these

1:00:07

young kids, let me go lecture and

1:00:10

book. Yeah, I was, so at one

1:00:12

point where. What about John Larrickett? You

1:00:14

ever gonna get to that? We'll get

1:00:17

to it. I noticed this, women will

1:00:19

do this, they'll be like, people say,

1:00:21

I light up the room. The woman

1:00:24

told me this. Who ever says, people

1:00:26

say, I light up the room, that

1:00:28

actually lights up the room. That's what

1:00:31

they say. People say, I'm funny. But

1:00:33

I've noticed, like, they don't hear people,

1:00:35

they tell you compliments they got. And

1:00:38

I'm like, why is this? Because for

1:00:40

our areas, you never say, like, I'm

1:00:42

great. People think I'm great. You never

1:00:45

would say that. But now, this is

1:00:47

my theory. I don't know if this

1:00:49

is true. They've. And now when they

1:00:51

go out in the world and they

1:00:54

get a comment, then they're like, oh,

1:00:56

I let people know my comp, everyone

1:00:58

sees the compliments. That's probably exactly what

1:01:01

it is. That's a very good theory.

1:01:03

I think that's good. Write a book

1:01:05

about it. You should. Make sure you

1:01:08

do the audio yourself. I have no

1:01:10

merch. You don't have any merch. You

1:01:12

don't have any merch. You don't have

1:01:15

any merch. You know what they cut?

1:01:17

Yeah. We were having a conversation with.

1:01:19

You showed it to me in the

1:01:22

comedy store green room. in the green

1:01:24

room in the main room. You were

1:01:26

telling me the struggle you're going through.

1:01:29

It was so stressful that whole thing.

1:01:31

Well, you had this show that you

1:01:33

were doing on your own that was

1:01:36

amazing. And it's one of those things

1:01:38

like South Park, right, where South Park

1:01:40

really works because they can do outrageous

1:01:43

shit because you know it's not real,

1:01:45

because they don't even look remotely human.

1:01:47

Yeah, your brain knows. You, when you

1:01:49

were doing the face swaps with like

1:01:52

cell phone technology, you know, like... what

1:01:54

everybody can use it was obvious So

1:01:56

something funny about it being clearly not

1:01:59

Bill Maher. It was clearly Kyle Dunn

1:02:01

again. It wasn't Kim Kardashian. It was

1:02:03

Kyle Dunn again. It was you know,

1:02:06

you it was the way you were

1:02:08

doing it was super obvious. Then the

1:02:10

Comedy Central thing came along like this.

1:02:13

Like you can appear. Man, that looks

1:02:15

ridiculous. I didn't need to have the

1:02:17

beer. It started for the beginning. No

1:02:20

one's buying my book. So, uh, yeah,

1:02:22

I thought I would read a lecture

1:02:24

to wet your whistle. All right, we

1:02:27

could turn this off. Turn it off

1:02:29

to torch them. If you want to

1:02:31

put on a good one. If you

1:02:34

want to put on a good one,

1:02:36

put on a good one, put the

1:02:38

good one where she, uh, what happened

1:02:41

to her vagina? I forget what it

1:02:43

was. Yeah, that sounds like a bit

1:02:45

I did. Yeah, it's. Oh, it was

1:02:48

awful girls! For a minute there, I

1:02:50

thought I was going to suffer the

1:02:52

same fate as my nuts-ack! Oh, geez.

1:02:54

Yeah, baby! I wouldn't apologize to the

1:02:57

transmute. Yeah. Did you save all of

1:02:59

your cools? Yeah. The first thing I

1:03:01

did when I saw The Flames was

1:03:04

grab my Fendi clutch and my Allegheny

1:03:06

McQueen's Toledo Pumps. Yeah. And my, yeah.

1:03:08

Yeah. Then I ran back into the

1:03:11

Flames to get my Louis Vuivitan alligator

1:03:13

duffel. A bag so beautiful it demands

1:03:15

attention. My size seven times give me

1:03:18

chews and my dog checkers. But there

1:03:20

was only enough time to save two

1:03:22

of those things girls. Oh no. The

1:03:25

thick Sophie's choice of his choice. Man,

1:03:27

checkers is dead. Man, baby. That's what

1:03:29

I'm doing with my time. That's an

1:03:32

old one. That's an old one. That's

1:03:34

an old one. But the fact that

1:03:36

that's obvious made it better. When they

1:03:39

did it on Comedy Central, they used

1:03:41

higher level technology. And it was kind

1:03:43

of weird. It's creepy. It has that,

1:03:46

what is that? Uncanny Valley. Uncanny Valley.

1:03:48

Uncanny Valley. Your brain needs to know

1:03:50

it's a joke. Like obvious. Like that's

1:03:52

an obvious joke. Like no one's gonna

1:03:55

look at that. What did Caitlin Jenner

1:03:57

say? Now you look at that and

1:03:59

you go, what is this? What the

1:04:02

fuck is... Like that's part of the

1:04:04

fun of it. Is it doesn't look

1:04:06

real? Yeah. It's completely ridiculous. I didn't

1:04:09

mean to have a beer. That was

1:04:11

just I was just I was just

1:04:13

I was being like trying to make

1:04:16

trying to make trying to make trying

1:04:18

to make trying to make trying to

1:04:20

make trying to make a joke like

1:04:23

trying to make a joke. By

1:04:27

the way, I never did it. I

1:04:29

did impressions when I was younger. When

1:04:31

I was like in middle school, I

1:04:33

would do them. And then I never,

1:04:35

I started doing like a manager was

1:04:37

like, don't do impressions. And then that

1:04:39

face app came along and I looked

1:04:41

nothing like Trump. Though the first one

1:04:43

I was doing was Trump. Because I

1:04:45

did Trump like years ago. And I

1:04:47

was like, oh, I can do Trump

1:04:49

because my face like is the opposite

1:04:51

of Trump. Stormy! Stormy! Stormy! It's funny,

1:04:53

I have the worst Trump. Like I

1:04:56

did Trump first and it's the worst

1:04:58

one. Now everyone does a better Trump.

1:05:00

It was a ridiculous character though. But

1:05:02

it's like, that's how I knew Comedy

1:05:04

Central was doomed. I'm like, if you

1:05:06

guys are fucking this up, like this

1:05:08

show, he's giving to get you on

1:05:10

a silver platter. Just get out of

1:05:12

the way. All you had to do

1:05:14

is get out of the way. You

1:05:16

were working with Metzger, right? Yeah. All

1:05:18

you gotta do is get out of

1:05:20

the way. Just get out of the

1:05:22

way, put a point of camera at

1:05:25

it, let him, tell him you're supporting

1:05:27

him. Yeah, I was doing like full

1:05:29

on, because that was like I was

1:05:31

just kind of doing little videos, and

1:05:33

then it became like I was crafting,

1:05:35

you know, we would do, you were

1:05:37

in one of them, time canceler, like

1:05:39

we had like crafted episodes. What did

1:05:41

we do in that one? You played

1:05:43

Becky, the nurse. Where's time

1:05:45

cancel? Just to show Joe. I

1:05:48

don't think you remember this. You

1:05:50

probably don't remember it, but time

1:05:52

cancelor Was like a full episode

1:05:54

where you had no one no

1:05:56

one ever was like hey we

1:05:58

can make this and it wasn't

1:06:01

dirty and it was like got

1:06:03

a lot of views and I

1:06:05

Hollywood never was they were always

1:06:07

like no thank you. Yeah they

1:06:09

couldn't figure out. It is weird

1:06:11

and it is weird. Well it's

1:06:14

just it's this weird marriage of

1:06:16

comedy creative people and then business

1:06:18

people executives that's the weird marriage

1:06:20

and they they because they've had

1:06:22

a few hit shows before or

1:06:25

you know we're producing South Park

1:06:27

where like but you don't make

1:06:29

it you can't make it yourself

1:06:31

like so you have this idea

1:06:33

in your head that you're a

1:06:35

part of the process of and

1:06:38

you could choose you've got an

1:06:40

eye for creativity yeah oh that's

1:06:42

right uh huh uh huh uh

1:06:44

huh uh huh uh huh uh

1:06:46

huh uh huh uh-huh uh-huh-huh-huh from

1:06:48

the Do you get any like

1:06:51

I don't want to be see

1:06:53

you just like people coming up

1:06:55

to you? How do you feel

1:06:57

about that? Most people are nice

1:06:59

It's just people being nice most

1:07:01

people that's a vast majority of

1:07:04

people who just want to say

1:07:06

high you they like what you

1:07:08

do and it's nice You know

1:07:10

because of you? A lot of

1:07:12

dudes come to my show which

1:07:14

is great was mostly girls before

1:07:17

It's mostly nobody But now it's

1:07:19

great, people are coming to my

1:07:21

shows, but it is like a

1:07:23

sea of dudes. Like no, I

1:07:25

did a tour and I started

1:07:28

counting like, are any girls coming

1:07:30

to my show? And the only

1:07:32

ones would come would be like,

1:07:34

my boyfriend likes you, it's something

1:07:36

like that. And yeah, I saw

1:07:38

thousands of people, I didn't see.

1:07:41

There was never like three girls

1:07:43

came to see. There or something,

1:07:45

it might be like one autistic

1:07:47

girl. No

1:07:49

ladies who likes to hear you

1:07:51

say yeah, baby. Yeah, baby Yeah

1:07:54

Wait till that game episode of

1:07:56

kill Tony. Oh my god Wildest

1:07:58

show that show is like a

1:08:00

fever dream Wow, it's like nothing

1:08:02

else is gonna be on Netflix

1:08:04

like that Yeah, it was so

1:08:06

fun. We can't give anything away

1:08:08

because it doesn't come out till

1:08:10

Monday, so we don't want to

1:08:13

give anything away Oh, but holy

1:08:15

shit was it funny I love Tony's

1:08:17

like I like what comedians do well

1:08:19

because it's so much pressure can imagine

1:08:21

the pressure these? Oh, it's like could

1:08:24

change their and there's nothing you know when

1:08:26

you're young you don't even know how to

1:08:28

make it in show business and there's just

1:08:30

like one show they can this was a

1:08:32

direct link so it's like it also works

1:08:34

oh yeah guys that have gone from that

1:08:36

show that have real careers now yep Guys like

1:08:38

Cam Patterson, William Montgomery, these guys are

1:08:40

going on the road, they're selling out

1:08:43

all over the place. Oh yeah, people

1:08:45

love them. David Lucas, I mean, it's

1:08:47

kind of incredible. The fan base is

1:08:49

rapid. Yeah, he's made a lot of

1:08:51

like careers. They're selling out arenas this

1:08:53

weekend in Nashville. I know, they have

1:08:55

like the comedy baton right now. The

1:08:58

funny thing is when someone doesn't do

1:09:00

well, and it's like dead silent, it

1:09:02

makes me laugh, and Tony will go,

1:09:04

and Tony will the worst. He's so

1:09:06

mean! He's like, holy shit. He's so

1:09:08

good at roasting. Oh my God, he's

1:09:10

the best, there's no one close. He's

1:09:13

the best roaster ever. Yeah, he's, I

1:09:15

mean, on that Tom Brady roast, he

1:09:17

was a fucking savage. Oh shit. Yeah.

1:09:19

That Tom Brady roast was so

1:09:21

important to comedy, because it was

1:09:23

the most watched thing ever in

1:09:26

Netflix, and it was the most

1:09:28

unwoke thing that's ever been on

1:09:30

television. Yeah. So it was like

1:09:33

it broke the damn. And Nicky

1:09:35

Glaze, it was really funny. Yeah,

1:09:37

everyone did really love funny. Jeff

1:09:39

Ross was great on it.

1:09:41

Shultz killed on it. It

1:09:44

was great. Shultz. Having something

1:09:46

like that was a big

1:09:48

moment. You know, like something

1:09:50

that's just just funny. Like,

1:09:52

fuck all these stupid rules.

1:09:54

We're talking shit. This is

1:09:56

just talking shit. Everybody loves

1:09:58

it. Let it. They got a

1:10:00

tie-dye mask on the outside. They're kicking a

1:10:02

Tesla on their way to the garage. I

1:10:05

know a comedian who still goes on stage

1:10:07

with the mask and has it the whole

1:10:09

time and comes in and the whole time.

1:10:11

I won't say... Puts it on when he's

1:10:14

talking into the microphone? Comes in.

1:10:16

Maybe he takes it off. No? Yeah.

1:10:18

I think he takes it off for

1:10:20

the thing. People were doing comedy through

1:10:23

masks. That's very funny. That's the dumbest

1:10:25

fucking things of all time. You know

1:10:27

what? Maybe he has like an immune

1:10:30

disease. I don't know. It doesn't. Stay

1:10:32

home. It's not helping you. You're

1:10:34

breathing into this fucking cloth. It's

1:10:36

an inch from your face and

1:10:39

bacteria is going to accumulate there

1:10:41

and moisture. And it's probably going

1:10:43

to be worse for you. Like

1:10:45

that, all the people. There's been

1:10:48

15 comedians before you, and comedians

1:10:50

are disgusting, let's be honest, we're

1:10:52

all a disgusting group of people.

1:10:54

And you're just like, oh, okay,

1:10:57

I gotta just wait for this

1:10:59

disease. Wait for whatever, yeah, if

1:11:01

someone's got a cold, we all have a

1:11:03

cold. That's one thing. You're sharing

1:11:05

the microphone with somebody else, the flu?

1:11:08

I know a girl who brings her own

1:11:10

microphone. Sort of God. The stand. The

1:11:12

stand. Really. Really? How's she

1:11:14

doing? Haven't her? I think she

1:11:16

just released a special. You ever

1:11:19

see her movie that's like weird

1:11:21

because it's like some of it's

1:11:23

funny that all of a sudden

1:11:26

it's serious and you're like,

1:11:28

it goes back and forth

1:11:30

from mixed genres they call it.

1:11:32

You know what she's on

1:11:34

that I love? Right just

1:11:36

gemstones? Wait a minute, tries

1:11:38

to gemstones? Yes, she's so

1:11:40

funny. She's just weird and funny. It's

1:11:42

a weird show. It's a funny show,

1:11:45

man. Like, like, I can't believe nobody

1:11:47

told me to watch it. Maybe they

1:11:49

didn't. There's too many shows. I have

1:11:51

a thing where I'm like, don't, can

1:11:53

you just not tell me another good

1:11:55

show? Too many shows. Not caught up.

1:11:57

The Baldwin? You're watching that? No. Was

1:11:59

it a sitcom? terrible wife. Why would

1:12:01

you want? She's an awful, because I

1:12:03

watch what women watch, that's what I

1:12:05

do. Does she fake the accent? I

1:12:07

watch it if she fakes the accent.

1:12:09

Yeah, she fakes, she's a, does she? She is,

1:12:12

can I, she doesn't understand the words?

1:12:14

Yeah. The, what is, how do you

1:12:16

say in English? Go, come back, go

1:12:18

come back. And he goes along, but he,

1:12:20

do you have that, Her shushing

1:12:22

him at like a red car.

1:12:24

Isn't it just awful? Yeah, I'm

1:12:26

talking. You're not talking when I'm

1:12:28

talking. You don't talking when I'm

1:12:30

talking? He, Alice Baldwin can get

1:12:32

like a really sweet beautiful woman.

1:12:34

He's, Alice Baldwin, what happened? He

1:12:36

would yell, they would run away. He

1:12:39

would yell, they'd run away. Who knows?

1:12:41

Who knows what these two are like?

1:12:43

They both, they're out of their fucking

1:12:45

minds. And I'm sure it's edited, but

1:12:47

he comes off. way better than her.

1:12:49

Maybe he's doing that on purpose, maybe

1:12:51

that's a clever move. Let her say

1:12:54

crazy shit, don't check her, let her come

1:12:56

off looking like a nut, maybe they planned

1:12:58

it. Maybe they have a wonderful relationship

1:13:00

and they said listen this is not

1:13:03

going to sell. She humiliated him. Maybe

1:13:05

you're right to go viral. Listen you

1:13:07

were going to shut me up and

1:13:09

I'm not even going to comment on

1:13:11

it. Plus I just killed a lady.

1:13:13

So I just killed a lady. Another

1:13:16

good way is you change your gender.

1:13:18

Oh yeah. That's another good way. I mean,

1:13:20

Bruce killed that lady with the car,

1:13:22

right? That was Bruce. Just Bruce. That

1:13:24

was like right after that. Have you ever

1:13:26

seen the footage of the car, the

1:13:29

reenactment? Like she was putting on lipstick

1:13:31

or something. She was very distraught. Wasn't

1:13:33

I say about Alex Paul? Hold on

1:13:35

there's one. No, he was. You said

1:13:37

she. You shouldn't say she. What I

1:13:39

say? You said she was. Please correct

1:13:41

yourself. That was back when she was

1:13:43

Bruce. She, she was Bruce? What is

1:13:45

the saying that get in the Olympics?

1:13:47

Dead name. What? Can you dead name

1:13:50

in the Olympics? Is that allowed? Dead

1:13:52

name it kind of went away, huh? Yeah.

1:13:54

That didn't work. People like, you can't,

1:13:56

you can't kick people out of the

1:13:58

social square for life. because they

1:14:00

won't accept this bizarre new

1:14:02

thing you're doing. There it is.

1:14:05

Bruce Jenner. Still says Bruce. Wow, look

1:14:07

how jacked he was. Oh yeah. Back

1:14:09

then it was he. There's a

1:14:11

nutshack. You can see the

1:14:13

nutshack. Yeah. Nah. Did he have the?

1:14:15

I think I have no information.

1:14:17

Yes. But I think so. You're

1:14:19

holding back. Do you work for

1:14:22

the government? Eh. I know

1:14:24

a guy. I'll tell Trump to release

1:14:26

the files. So terrificly. A terrific guy.

1:14:28

Are we getting new files, Jamie? Does

1:14:30

anything happen? What happened with... Oliver Stone

1:14:32

apparently testified about the

1:14:34

JFK assassination. What does he

1:14:36

know? How does he know? He

1:14:39

knows everything about it. How does

1:14:41

he know? He's a literally a

1:14:43

warehouse of information on the JFK

1:14:45

assassination. Before the podcast, during the

1:14:47

podcast, after the podcast, he wouldn't

1:14:50

stop talking about it. Is it

1:14:52

Terrence Howard? No, no. It's Oliver

1:14:54

Stone. He's a brilliant guy. Oliver

1:14:56

Stone can give you, he could

1:14:58

sit down and break down from

1:15:01

just from recall. And how old

1:15:03

is Oliver Stone? complete recall

1:15:05

of dates times who was involved

1:15:07

who they worked for before this

1:15:10

happened who Kennedy had fired why

1:15:12

they were on the Warren Commission

1:15:14

report what the Warren Commission report's

1:15:16

objectives were who was influencing it

1:15:19

who saw the the gunshots in

1:15:21

the grass you know how did

1:15:23

they die in mysterious circumstances he

1:15:25

like he's like rattle it all

1:15:28

off the top of his head

1:15:30

and he's like He tells Congress

1:15:32

to investigate the 1963 assassination starting

1:15:35

at the scene of the crime.

1:15:37

Like I'm telling you man, the movie

1:15:39

he did is, you know, great movie,

1:15:41

Kevin Kostner, wonderful movie, but talking to

1:15:44

him about it is where you really

1:15:46

freak out. Like this guy has been

1:15:48

studying the JFK assassination forever. And he

1:15:51

thinks it was a CIA or a head?

1:15:53

You know, no one knows. And until you

1:15:55

get all these files, no one knows. And

1:15:57

until you get all these files, no one's

1:15:59

going to know. files. What is it going

1:16:01

to show? You're still going to connect

1:16:03

dots. And it's not like there's a

1:16:05

page, page 24. Mike did it. Oh,

1:16:07

fucking Mike. Yeah, Mike was in the

1:16:09

grass, you know, I told him shoot

1:16:11

that Irish cocksucker, he's going to rob

1:16:13

us. No, there's none of that.

1:16:15

You're going to get... certain details

1:16:17

that weren't available before for

1:16:19

national security reasons or for

1:16:21

whatever but if they had

1:16:23

made some sort of a

1:16:25

declaration that Kennedy was a

1:16:28

problem that needed to be

1:16:30

removed that would be like

1:16:32

the as close to a smoking

1:16:34

gun as you again but they

1:16:36

could probably get away with saying

1:16:38

things like that in 1963 you

1:16:40

know especially like people that worked

1:16:42

at that they were doing nutty

1:16:44

shit like really nutty shit Like

1:16:46

that's the year, the same year

1:16:48

as Operation Northwoods. Right? That's the same

1:16:51

year. Operation Northwoods was this crazy

1:16:53

idea that was drummed up. It was

1:16:55

a false flag idea that was drummed

1:16:57

up and literally signed by the joint

1:16:59

chiefs of staff. Like they gave us

1:17:01

a green light and then vetoed by

1:17:03

Kennedy. And what they were going to

1:17:05

do is they're going to have a

1:17:07

bunch of false flag attacks. Like they

1:17:09

were going to blow up a jet

1:17:11

liner and they were going to blow

1:17:13

up a jet liner. bomb Guantanamo Bay.

1:17:15

They were going to literally kill American

1:17:18

citizens. And the idea was

1:17:20

do this false flag blame it

1:17:22

on Cuba, then we have to go

1:17:24

to war with Cuba. And Kennedy

1:17:27

was like what? the fuck are you

1:17:29

doing no and then there's the other

1:17:31

one which is the Bay of Pigs

1:17:33

so they informed Kennedy about the Bay

1:17:35

of Pigs apparently they have formed him

1:17:37

about it like late in the process

1:17:40

and he denied them air support so

1:17:42

the whole plan of invading Cuba the

1:17:44

Bay of Pigs was dependent upon air

1:17:46

support they didn't get air support because

1:17:48

Kennedy said no to it so all

1:17:51

these people died that didn't have to

1:17:53

die. All these American soldiers died that

1:17:55

didn't have to die. And my friend Evan

1:17:57

Haefer from Black Rifle Coffee, he had a very

1:17:59

good... He said, like, if you wanted to

1:18:01

look at someone who had a bone to

1:18:03

pick, it was like a hardened killer. Like

1:18:06

those guys who got stranded at that beach,

1:18:08

those would be the kind of guys that

1:18:10

would want to kill Kennedy. Like, there's

1:18:12

probably a lot of people that

1:18:14

wanted to kill Kennedy. You know,

1:18:16

there's probably the mob wanted to

1:18:19

kill him because they got, the

1:18:21

mob got him in. You know,

1:18:23

the whole thing that happened with

1:18:25

Illinois, like him winning Illinois. Very,

1:18:28

very shaky stuff, right? Very, so

1:18:30

the mob got him in and

1:18:32

then his brother starts going after

1:18:34

the mob. Yeah. Like, hey, fuck

1:18:37

face. Like, what kind of deal

1:18:39

is this? And then you've got,

1:18:41

he's trying to get rid of

1:18:43

all these, like he gives that

1:18:45

speech about privacy, about having

1:18:48

these. private groups and having

1:18:50

secrecy and secret societies. Have

1:18:53

you ever seen that speech

1:18:55

about secret societies? The candidate?

1:18:58

No. It's really creepy. He's

1:19:00

talking about how secret societies

1:19:02

are repugnant and that he's essentially

1:19:05

calling out the shadow

1:19:07

government. He's calling out all these

1:19:09

people that are involved in these organizations

1:19:11

literally from like Yale like the skull

1:19:13

and bones that they're all in all

1:19:15

these creepy frat boys join the skull

1:19:18

and bones then one day they wind

1:19:20

up ruling the world like it's kind

1:19:22

of Harry Potterish it's bizarrely you know

1:19:24

on the nose as far as what

1:19:26

it is but he was calling that stuff out

1:19:29

in the 60s as well and then they

1:19:31

kill him and then you don't hear a

1:19:33

peep about any of that stuff

1:19:35

anymore And we will get to

1:19:37

the John Lyric Head story, just

1:19:39

anybody listening. Let's listen to Kennedy,

1:19:41

talk about secret societies. Sacred societies.

1:19:43

Era, secret societies. It's a very

1:19:45

creepy speech when you think about

1:19:47

the fact that they killed him,

1:19:49

like less than a year later I believe. What

1:19:51

about the back and the left? This is

1:19:53

what I heard, I don't know any information,

1:19:56

but in all of a stone he was

1:19:58

like back and to the left. Back and...

1:20:00

But someone was saying, no, your

1:20:02

head would go, would do that

1:20:04

because it like, from the, shot

1:20:06

from the back, your head would

1:20:08

like recoil back. I don't know

1:20:11

anything. Well, we could look at

1:20:13

that too. Let's hear it. The

1:20:15

speech that killed him about CNN.

1:20:17

The very word secrecy is

1:20:20

repugnant in a free and

1:20:22

open society. And we are as

1:20:24

a people, inherently and

1:20:27

historically. opposed to

1:20:29

secret societies, to secret

1:20:31

oaths, and to secret proceedings.

1:20:33

We decided long ago

1:20:35

that the dangers of excessive

1:20:38

and unwarranted concealment

1:20:40

of pertinent facts far

1:20:43

outweighed the dangers which are

1:20:45

cited to justify it. Even

1:20:47

today, there is little value

1:20:49

in opposing the threat of

1:20:52

a closed society by imitating

1:20:54

its arbitrary restrictions.

1:20:57

There is little value in ensuring

1:20:59

the survival of our nation,

1:21:01

if our traditions do not

1:21:03

survive with it. And there is very

1:21:05

grave danger that an announced need

1:21:08

for increased security will

1:21:10

be seized upon by those anxious

1:21:12

to expand its meaning to the

1:21:14

very limits of official

1:21:17

censorship and concealment. That

1:21:19

I do not intend to permit to

1:21:21

the extent that it's in

1:21:23

my control. And no official

1:21:26

of my administration, whether his

1:21:28

rank is high or low, civilian

1:21:30

or military, should interpret

1:21:32

my words here tonight as

1:21:34

an excuse to censor the

1:21:36

news, to stifle dissent, to

1:21:38

cover up our mistakes, or to

1:21:40

withhold from the press and

1:21:43

the public the facts they deserve

1:21:45

to know. For we are opposed

1:21:47

around the world by a monolithic

1:21:49

and ruthless conspiracy.

1:21:51

that relies primarily on COVID

1:21:54

means for expanding its

1:21:56

sphere of influence on

1:21:59

infiltration in... instead of invasion,

1:22:01

on subversion, instead of

1:22:04

elections, on intimidation,

1:22:06

instead of free choice, on

1:22:08

guerrillas by night, instead of

1:22:10

armies by day. It is a system

1:22:12

which has conscripted

1:22:14

vast human and material

1:22:17

resources into the building of

1:22:19

a tightly knit, highly efficient

1:22:22

machine that combines military,

1:22:25

diplomatic, intelligence,

1:22:27

economic, economic, and

1:22:29

political operations. Its preparations

1:22:32

are concealed, not published.

1:22:34

Its mistakes are buried, not

1:22:37

headlined. Its dissenters are

1:22:39

silenced, not praised. No expenditure

1:22:42

is questioned. No rumor is printed.

1:22:44

No secret is revealed. No

1:22:46

president should fear public scrutiny

1:22:49

of his program. For from

1:22:51

that scrutiny comes understanding.

1:22:54

And from that understanding

1:22:56

comes support or opposition.

1:22:58

Why did we become so retarded?

1:23:00

Why did we become so retarded?

1:23:03

Like listen to how genius what

1:23:05

he's saying is and how eloquently

1:23:07

he's describing the problem. People don't

1:23:09

talk like that anymore. No, we

1:23:11

don't talk like that anymore. And

1:23:13

if we did talk like that,

1:23:15

people would be like, what did

1:23:17

he just say? I didn't understand

1:23:19

half of those words. This is

1:23:21

1963, we're dumber, now. Oh yeah.

1:23:23

With more access to information. than

1:23:25

we were in 63. And people

1:23:27

think they're smarter because their phone,

1:23:30

they think that's them too. I

1:23:32

tried Grock too and it was

1:23:34

really cool. I kind of felt like,

1:23:36

I don't know, you could just see

1:23:38

liking your AI friend. That's a problem

1:23:40

with people. Grock is saying some wild

1:23:42

shit to folks. Oh I know they

1:23:45

have the different kind of stuff. Well

1:23:47

if you also if you ask Grock

1:23:49

if you were like purely evil

1:23:52

and you wanted to destroy society.

1:23:54

uh... would you do how would

1:23:56

you do it and grock essentially

1:23:59

describes everything that's happening in society.

1:24:01

Yeah, it's like idiocrity in

1:24:03

the movie. Idiocracy. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:24:06

it's happening. I definitely feel like

1:24:08

it. Idiocracy, like, was very charitable

1:24:10

in terms of, like, their version of

1:24:13

the future in comparison to what

1:24:15

we're experiencing. Yes. Because they didn't

1:24:17

figure in cell phone addiction. Yeah,

1:24:19

you know what makes me laugh is when

1:24:21

you look at like a 70s movie about

1:24:24

the future and like what they got right

1:24:26

and wrong? First of all, we don't do

1:24:28

the face time as much as they thought

1:24:30

we were gonna just do all the time.

1:24:32

We're like, no, we don't want that. Another

1:24:35

funny thing is like the back of TVs.

1:24:37

They're like, TVs are never gonna read the

1:24:39

back. They're gonna have flying cars. Where do

1:24:41

you put the stuff? Like, it's always gonna

1:24:44

be a big box. Yeah, yeah. And they're

1:24:46

like, oh, there's no more racism in the

1:24:48

future. And you have flying cars. Where's

1:24:50

the flying cars? Yeah, no flying

1:24:52

cars, no back. No racism, there's

1:24:54

no black people. Watch the Jetsons.

1:24:57

They don't have a single black

1:24:59

person. Yeah, yeah. That was our

1:25:01

show. Ne George Jetsin, dah, dah,

1:25:03

dah, dah, dah, dah. What is

1:25:05

it? Oh wait, sorry. Oh, you're

1:25:08

a nice cigar keeps going out.

1:25:10

Is that a sign of manlyhood?

1:25:12

I'm not too Olympic. I shouldn't

1:25:14

be like doing it. 2006? What?

1:25:16

No. That's when it came out. That's

1:25:19

when the movie was released.

1:25:21

No, I mean like when

1:25:23

the Jetsons. No, no, no,

1:25:25

not Idiocracy. The Jetsons. What

1:25:27

year is the Jetsons supposed

1:25:29

to be 2020 what? 2,

1:25:31

2005. Oh, 2,000, that's probably.

1:25:33

That's probably, again, very charitable.

1:25:35

Oh yeah, the rock, you know. I like that guy. Are

1:25:37

we allowed to say that? I think they

1:25:40

wanted the rock to run. Rock, rock could win.

1:25:42

I went to go to the gym, right?

1:25:44

Yeah. I went to the gym with the

1:25:46

rock when I was in LA. Not a

1:25:48

brag, I'm just telling you the facts. We

1:25:50

went to the same gym. Did you always

1:25:52

get pumped? Yeah, we got like, got rid.

1:25:54

This is before he was like restaurant nearby,

1:25:56

and I was there, and he got a

1:25:58

stack of like, like, like, 10 burgers,

1:26:00

that's all he ate.

1:26:02

I was like, who's

1:26:04

an enormous dude? He

1:26:06

was just wrestling back

1:26:08

then. He could be

1:26:10

the president. He couldn't

1:26:13

do the, lift the weight

1:26:15

I was doing. He went

1:26:17

the machine and he had

1:26:19

to go down. I found

1:26:21

a year for the Jetsons.

1:26:23

Okay, let's guess. Okay, I

1:26:26

want to say 1998, 99. I'm

1:26:28

going to say 99. What is

1:26:30

it? Apparently a hundred years into

1:26:32

the future. So, 2062. Oh, okay.

1:26:34

Not gonna happen though, none of... No.

1:26:37

They didn't figure out phones. Even

1:26:39

Star Trek didn't figure out cell

1:26:41

phones. There was a walkie-talkie, Kirk

1:26:44

out. He had to like shut

1:26:46

his little walkie-talkie off. They did it?

1:26:48

Yeah, Kirk didn't have the apps. Oh,

1:26:50

did you see this fucking warp drive

1:26:53

thing? No, but I love space and

1:26:55

all this stuff, so I want

1:26:57

to see this. Yeah, somebody sent

1:26:59

me this. This is very, very

1:27:01

strange. I took physics in college,

1:27:03

not to brag, but just telling

1:27:05

you guys about it. I bet

1:27:07

you did, dude. You know, I

1:27:10

never thought of doing something else,

1:27:12

but I love other things, and for

1:27:14

some reason I just was like

1:27:16

in taking acting classes. What

1:27:18

did you like about physics?

1:27:21

love like outer space and just science

1:27:23

stuff. I just always have like an

1:27:25

interest in it. And in school I

1:27:28

was very, I didn't score well, but

1:27:30

like physics I did well because it

1:27:32

was like, wasn't a lot of reading,

1:27:35

wasn't dense reading. What is the problem

1:27:37

with you in reading? Well, I never

1:27:39

had tested, but I never had

1:27:41

tested, but I did take Spanish and she

1:27:43

goes, you write all your bees and d's

1:27:45

backwards. So I'm assuming my dyslexic. How old

1:27:48

were you though. I was in high school

1:27:50

but I always read so like my parents

1:27:52

were called they'd send me to read speed

1:27:54

reading classes they weren't back then in my

1:27:56

day they weren't like you have a reading

1:27:58

disorder they were like You just need you're

1:28:01

dumb and you need to read faster.

1:28:03

Yeah, you suck. Yeah, there was no

1:28:05

test. No one had dyslexia. So dyslexia

1:28:07

is like you see things backwards? Is

1:28:09

that what it is? It's sort of

1:28:11

like you flip things. So I actually

1:28:14

put a dyslexia app on my computer

1:28:16

and it sort of like makes the

1:28:18

font so I don't flip the like, you

1:28:20

know, so you do have dyslexia. I never

1:28:22

was tested, but this app I read much

1:28:24

faster with it, so I'm assuming I do.

1:28:27

I took the medicine, it got better, so

1:28:29

I assume I had it. Yeah, that's kind

1:28:31

of what it was. Jamie, I sent you

1:28:33

that warp drive thing. I don't like

1:28:35

labels, Joe. I don't want

1:28:37

to label myself with the

1:28:39

disease. I couldn't read. DARPA

1:28:42

funded researches accidentally discover the

1:28:44

words, world's first warp bubble.

1:28:46

Warp drive pioneer and former

1:28:48

NASA warp drive specialist Dr.

1:28:50

Harold G. Sunny White has

1:28:52

reported the discovery of an

1:28:54

actual real world warp bubble

1:28:56

and according to White the

1:28:59

first of its kind breakthrough

1:29:01

by limitless space institutes team

1:29:03

sets up a new starting

1:29:05

point for those trying to

1:29:07

manufacture a full-sized warp capable

1:29:09

spacecraft. They added our

1:29:11

detailed numerical analysis of our

1:29:13

custom Casimir cavities cavities.

1:29:15

I don't know what that

1:29:18

means, helped us identify a

1:29:20

real and manufacturable nano microstructure

1:29:22

that is predicted to generate

1:29:25

a negative vacuum energy density,

1:29:27

such that it would manifest a

1:29:30

real nano scale warp bubble. But

1:29:32

not an analog, but the real thing.

1:29:34

In other words, a warp bubble structure will

1:29:36

manifest under these specific conditions. White caution

1:29:38

that this does not mean we are

1:29:40

building a fully functioning warp drive. A

1:29:42

much, as much more science needs to

1:29:44

be done. All right, so if this

1:29:47

was 2021, when I Google defined it

1:29:49

to try to see what you're talking

1:29:51

about, I found this article, it just

1:29:53

came out three days ago? Oh, three

1:29:55

days ago. It's about an email though,

1:29:57

but warp drive, think tank adds Harvard

1:29:59

astrophysicists. warp theorists to advance planetary defense.

1:30:01

We're talking about warp drives and asteroid

1:30:04

collection or something or other. So they're

1:30:06

gonna throw a warp drive around an

1:30:08

asteroid to keep it from killing

1:30:10

us? I don't know. Could have profound effects on

1:30:13

planetary defense, advanced propulsion, and warp drive

1:30:15

detection. Maybe that's where asteroids are coming

1:30:17

from. Someone like shot an asteroid like

1:30:19

you know like something's coming at their

1:30:21

car, they whacked it out of the

1:30:24

window and it hit your car. Yeah.

1:30:26

You know what I mean? That's what's

1:30:28

happening? We got the asteroid belt. Smack

1:30:30

that bird and it went into your

1:30:32

window? Yeah, yeah. That's what's happening in

1:30:35

outer space, basically. I wonder if that's

1:30:37

what's happening. I wonder if like they

1:30:39

see an asteroid coming, they just throw

1:30:41

a warp bubble out it, and it

1:30:43

just appears somewhere else. Not my problem.

1:30:45

That would be cool. It just shows

1:30:47

up. Shupider saves us from all our

1:30:50

little strikes. Okay, so this is

1:30:52

no good coincidence. We are

1:30:54

working on something historic. When

1:30:56

pushed for a timeline and

1:30:58

list of goals for the

1:31:00

team's newest project, Martier, Martier,

1:31:02

Martier, how do you think you

1:31:05

say that? M-A-R-T-I-R-E, Martier? Martier.

1:31:07

It said yes, they exist, but

1:31:09

we can't disclose those details

1:31:12

at this time. He said

1:31:14

seemingly boundless passion. Practically coming

1:31:16

through in print. You'll understand

1:31:18

why once I'm able to

1:31:21

show you it's rad Applied physics

1:31:23

go Applied physics is currently

1:31:25

hiring. Okay. They won't tell you what

1:31:27

it is, but um So

1:31:30

this is what I've been thinking a

1:31:32

lot of these fucking UAP things are.

1:31:34

Yes, I want to know what you

1:31:36

think. That's what I think. I think

1:31:39

some of it has got to be

1:31:41

ours. And I think if I had

1:31:43

some shit that I didn't want the

1:31:45

general public to know that I had

1:31:48

and I wanted to protect it from

1:31:50

like espionage, didn't want enemies

1:31:52

to find out about it.

1:31:54

I would say it's not mine. A

1:31:56

race to build the world's first

1:31:59

working work drive. Jesus, warp theorists

1:32:01

say we've entered an exotic propulsion space

1:32:03

race to build the world's first working

1:32:05

warp drive. All this is happening while

1:32:07

AI is becoming sentient. Did you hear

1:32:10

that? AI passed the Turing test? Is

1:32:12

this recently? Yeah, it was an article

1:32:14

from yesterday. AI passes Turing test for

1:32:17

the first time. Yeah, it learns like

1:32:19

exponential. People think it's happening so fast.

1:32:21

You know what the Turing test is?

1:32:23

Yeah, to see if it can be

1:32:26

passed as a human. Yeah, if you,

1:32:28

if it passes as a human to

1:32:30

everyone. I don't think I could pass

1:32:33