Episode Transcript
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0:01
I'm feeling good, podcast, check
0:03
it out. The Joe, Rogan,
0:06
experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan
0:08
podcast by night, all day. We
0:10
got you, fellow, we're up. What's
0:12
going on, runway? I'm feeling good,
0:14
finally, after my little bout with
0:16
fucking COVID. They gotcha. They got
0:19
you with the new COVID. They
0:21
got me with the new COVID,
0:23
man. I thought the new COVID
0:25
was total bullshit. I thought it
0:27
was like a baby, baby, baby
0:29
cold. You know my my girlfriend
0:32
raised two kids and she said she's
0:34
never seen anybody puke as much as
0:36
I did for two days Wow, and
0:38
it was it was brutal. It was
0:40
just bile and I don't even know
0:43
if I ever I've ever been that
0:45
sick It only got asked that part
0:47
of it a couple of days. That's
0:49
interesting. I wonder if you got multiple
0:51
things at the same time Do
0:53
people usually puke a lot of
0:56
figure COVID? Jamie, do you know? I
0:58
don't remember that being a symptom.
1:00
I don't remember having that either. You
1:02
might have had a couple things at
1:04
the same time. Because there was a
1:06
bad flu going around too. Well I
1:08
went to, you know, I went to Vegas
1:11
and early and I had a kind of,
1:13
I just thought I had a cold when
1:15
I went and my doctor here gave me
1:17
a shot of steroids. and I felt way
1:19
fucking better. I mean I felt better everywhere.
1:22
I was more flexible. I was like, fuck,
1:24
I want to do steroids every god damn
1:26
day. I don't know, but whatever it was,
1:28
man, I could touch the floor without being
1:30
in my knees, without stretching at all. Like
1:33
a cortisone shot? I don't know. She said
1:35
sero and she gave it to me. I
1:37
don't ask a lot of questions. So you
1:39
just felt loose? I felt loose and good. I played really
1:41
good golf and then I got there and it started catching up
1:43
with me. I had my girlfriend. I'm staying in the mansion down
1:46
at MGM Grand which is pretty sweet. And I had that show
1:48
just on Saturday we got there on Wednesday and I'm like, fuck
1:50
it, I'm not going to make it. I felt it all-star.
1:52
to deteriorate. So I called his
1:54
doctor. It was so bad you
1:56
didn't think you were going to
1:58
make it on Saturday? I didn't.
2:00
I didn't. I thought I would
2:02
need another shot of steroids. That's
2:04
so I called a doctor. I
2:06
had the hotel call a doctor.
2:09
And I thought I was getting
2:11
the doctor that was, you know,
2:13
whatever it takes to get through
2:15
the show. Right. And, you know,
2:17
but that's not the doctor I
2:19
got. The doctor I got was,
2:21
we need to, let's test you
2:23
for COVID. I'm like, no, no,
2:25
I don't have COVID. He said,
2:27
I won't charge you if it's
2:29
negative, which didn't make any sense
2:31
to me. And I said, well, okay.
2:34
And then it came up positive for COVID. And
2:36
he said, see there the T and the
2:38
X and the thing. And I said, yeah, I
2:40
see it. Let's do it again. Because
2:43
I don't think I have COVID. So
2:45
we did it again, came up
2:47
positive again. Not only would he not
2:50
give me the COVID shot, he
2:52
told me to quit taking the antibiotics.
2:54
I was already on and, uh,
2:56
and he did nothing except for called
2:58
the CDC to tell them I
3:00
had COVID and they both said, you
3:02
cannot do the show. I'm
3:05
like, wait a minute, you're the wrong doctor.
3:07
I don't want to fucking retire today.
3:09
Shit. I want to hear your drummers of
3:11
junkies out of heroin. Get him some
3:13
fucking something to get him through this guy.
3:15
So they were telling you, you can't
3:17
do the show because you had a specific
3:19
kind of a cold, a COVID
3:21
cold. So if you had the flu, would he
3:24
have stopped you from doing the show? I'd
3:27
say absolutely not. I don't think
3:29
it would even come up. That's
3:31
so weird because right now, like
3:33
the deaths from COVID now are
3:35
so low. Like the
3:37
idea that this is still a pandemic and
3:40
they still have to treat it differently than
3:42
they do a cold. They do. And why?
3:44
Well, you know, I was
3:46
faced with, do
3:49
I cancel a show? Well, that's not the same
3:51
as St. Louis when they just moved the
3:53
date and the people from St. Louis come back
3:55
out. This is Las Vegas. Right. A lot
3:57
of those people come specifically to see me because
4:00
I don't do all those shows that I used to do. So
4:02
it's kind of, if you want to come see it, and that's
4:04
a good place. And so
4:06
it's a problem, you know, it's a refund. You
4:08
gotta refund them all because those people are
4:10
gonna be there. Most
4:12
importantly, your fans are bummed out.
4:14
Yeah, my fun, I've disappointed them.
4:16
Everybody's here, fuck, let's do the
4:18
show. So I just sitting there, I didn't know what
4:20
to do. So I'm like, well, I'm just gonna call him
4:23
GM Grand and tell him what the fuck's going on, let it
4:25
be their call, you know? And
4:27
they're like, so how do you feel? I'm
4:29
like, I feel like I can make it through
4:31
the show. And they're
4:33
like, well, I say, let's just go ahead
4:35
and do it, you know, it's a big
4:37
room, you're not within six feet of anybody.
4:39
It's 2025. It's 2025. If you told me,
4:41
you did tell me you had COVID and
4:44
I gave you a big hug on Monday. I
4:46
saw you on Monday. Yeah. When we did
4:49
Kill Tony. Right, and
4:51
I fine. You were a super spreader
4:53
on Kill Tony. You son a Big
4:55
time, I'm a asshole. The biggest asshole
4:57
ever. It would be so horrible. got
4:59
sick. I know, nobody did. Nobody got
5:01
sick. fucking. And it wasn't until the
5:03
next day that I got sick. That's
5:05
when the vomiting started, wasn't in Vegas.
5:07
It was day two, it was Tuesday
5:09
after Kill Tony. That's when
5:12
I got sick. And
5:14
it was fucking
5:16
awful. I mean, for
5:18
two days, just awful. Did you get another
5:20
story shot? No, nobody
5:22
would give me one. So, I don't know,
5:24
man. I just got the wrong goddamn.
5:26
You gotta go to Gold's Gym. Yeah, right.
5:29
Find the biggest guy in the room
5:31
and say, who's doctor? Dude, you got something,
5:33
don't you? You know you got something,
5:35
bro. Come on, man. Aren't you a Ron
5:37
White fan? Give me some fucking steroids.
5:39
Just to get me around the corner, so.
5:42
So, I'm back. I feel fine today.
5:44
Well, that's good. And which is
5:46
really good. You coming to the club
5:49
tonight? You
5:51
know, they asked me to. I don't know who's
5:53
got the set tonight. I don't know who's got the
5:55
show. We do. Fuck it, let's go. Okay, let's
5:58
go. I'll go. Let's go, Ron White. The
6:00
bottom of the barrels tonight
6:02
too. The Kiltoni was on Netflix
6:04
last night. Isn't that amazing? I'm
6:06
so happy for Tony and Red
6:09
Band and for everybody on the
6:11
show. I'm just so happy that
6:13
that show is now on Netflix.
6:15
It's sweet, you know, I always
6:17
believed in it and you know
6:19
that and I always saw something
6:21
and Tony. I don't know, I
6:24
would never sure what exactly it
6:26
was, but I saw something, you
6:28
know, that this kid works hard,
6:30
you know, he's got a dream,
6:32
that he's fucking making it work,
6:34
with hard work. He works hard,
6:36
he works really hard at that
6:38
show, man. I mean, I call
6:40
him in the middle of the
6:42
day sometimes and he's just laying
6:44
it. wandered around his apartment writing
6:47
notes down, just planning it
6:49
out in his head. He's
6:51
legit. This is the thing
6:53
about success. It's a product
6:55
of hard work. And in that
6:57
example, I fucking know it's a
6:59
product of hard work. Those guys
7:01
did that show every God damn
7:04
Monday for 10 plus years. Starting
7:06
with six people in the crowd.
7:08
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features and network management details There when
9:15
they were doing the belly room show,
9:17
but I always encouraged it I encourage
9:19
people to do shows when no one's
9:21
watching because I think that You know,
9:24
the only way something builds is you
9:26
got to get it started. You can't
9:28
think you're going to launch a podcast
9:30
and it's going to have a million
9:33
downloads. It's not that way. And you
9:35
don't want it that way anyway. You
9:37
want to get good at it. You
9:39
want to learn how to do it.
9:42
You want to iron out the kinks.
9:44
I agree. And they did it. And
9:46
they fucking did it. They did it.
9:48
Now it's one of the best shows
9:51
in the world. down you know my
9:53
my last girlfriend was so addicted to
9:55
the show she would come almost every
9:57
Monday and it's hard for me to
10:00
go down there on kill Tony night
10:02
because they got the you know the
10:04
green rooms hocked out to 19 thousand
10:06
people and there's no place for me
10:09
to go right and so you know
10:11
but but she was addicted to it
10:13
I mean just is something fun to
10:16
do you know it's a fun thing
10:18
to do because you're gonna get some
10:20
great comics you're in it doesn't matter
10:22
if the comic eats it on stage
10:25
because it's still funny. You know, that's
10:27
not the point. The point is that
10:29
everybody has access, you know, in some
10:31
way. And there's no shortcut to get
10:34
there because I tried to shortcut it
10:36
because I thought I could because I
10:38
was Ron White and my banker said,
10:40
yeah, I've been doing stand up and
10:43
I'd love to get a, no problem,
10:45
I'll tell, I'll fix this for you.
10:47
And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
10:49
no, you can't. It's a bucket pool.
10:52
That's the only way he can do
10:54
it is to get his name in
10:56
there. It's a legit bucket pool. It
10:58
is. And it really is. And sometimes
11:01
one of our guys gets in, like
11:03
a son's been on a couple of
11:05
times now, you know. And sometimes not.
11:07
You put your name in the bucket.
11:10
It's a great idea. It's great idea
11:12
and it's and it's inclusive to anybody
11:14
I mean, it's amazing to me who
11:16
He saw the had the vision to
11:19
put anybody anybody no matter what kind
11:21
of physical shape if they can't even
11:23
say a word Right and handicapped on
11:25
top of that and you know, I
11:28
have to just give it a go.
11:30
Give it a go. Try to be
11:32
funny. Just do your best just do
11:34
your best And there's a lot of
11:37
people doing their best. I'm thrilled for
11:39
the success of it. It's incredible. Yeah,
11:41
it really is. It's fun too. It's
11:43
like it makes everything more fun. When
11:46
there's a fun thing like that out
11:48
there in the world, more of us
11:50
have fun. We have more fun at
11:53
the clubs. We have more fun talking
11:55
about comedy. Yeah, and you know, it
11:57
made me really proud too, to, I
11:59
mean, just to walk out on stage
12:02
and it's, you know, it's you and
12:04
Shane and, it's a girl and, and
12:06
Tony, and, and these are my friends.
12:08
You know, these are my buddies. This
12:11
is my tribe right here and we're
12:13
doing something really special and it's a
12:15
fucking hoot. Yeah, it is a fucking
12:17
hoot. It's a fucking hoot. Yeah, and
12:20
it's, uh, that club's the best place
12:22
for it. I had a nightmare the
12:24
other night. Oh no. Yeah, and it
12:26
was about the club. Oh no. And
12:29
that I was the headliner that night.
12:31
And I got down there and there
12:33
were like 9-11-year-old girls and that's all
12:35
the tickets we could sell. And I
12:38
was like, did you tell them I
12:40
was coming? I mean, yeah, we put
12:42
it in the thing and nobody showed
12:44
up for on except for these chicks.
12:47
If I was your psychiatrist, I'd sit
12:49
down and go, Ron, what do you
12:51
think this means to you? 11 euro
12:53
girls would come to see you do
12:56
comedies. That's because for 38 years I've
12:58
been waiting for the end. You know,
13:00
and it finally happened that night in
13:02
the middle of that dream. See, I
13:05
knew it would happen. I knew it
13:07
would happen. I knew it. It drives
13:09
me crazy. I don't understand how you
13:11
can think like that. I just always
13:14
have because I, you know, it never
13:16
works as good as it works for
13:18
me. You know, I mean it's worked
13:20
okay for you, but I mean, you
13:23
know, these kind of careers don't last,
13:25
And unless they do, and there's not
13:27
very many of them that do, you
13:30
know, last fucking four decades. It's a
13:32
different world now, Ron. I think they
13:34
do last now. I guess so. I
13:36
think the thing that was going on
13:39
before was everybody thought you did comedy
13:41
to get to something. He did comedy
13:43
to get to the movies, he did
13:45
comedy to get to TV. And if
13:48
you didn't, then you were a failure.
13:50
And you thought of yourself as a
13:52
failure, and other people thought of you
13:54
as a failure too. And that would
13:57
diminish your confidence, that would diminish your
13:59
draw. and only a few people survived
14:01
that and escaped and a lot of
14:03
great comics like Richard Jenny for instance
14:06
he got caught up in that and
14:08
felt like he was a failure and
14:10
a loser and wind up fucking killing
14:12
himself meanwhile he was one of the
14:15
greatest comics that's ever lived he just
14:17
missed the boat he missed the internet
14:19
boat he would have been yeah but
14:21
I missed it too you didn't though
14:24
but you didn't he didn't miss it
14:26
You didn't. You caught us. You caught
14:28
the whole wave, brother. You came to
14:30
the county store right now. I did
14:33
catch a great wave. And it's great
14:35
for all of us that we all
14:37
know each other. It's great for all
14:39
of us. There's no more, you know,
14:42
waves, like in terms of like your
14:44
career is going to die off. Your
14:46
career is dependent entirely on your work.
14:48
And your work's never been better. No,
14:51
I don't think it has. It's never
14:53
been better. You're on fire right now.
14:55
You were killing it the other night.
14:57
We were in the green room and
15:00
we're watching for the balcony, fucking howling.
15:02
It's great. It's great. There's no reason
15:04
it shouldn't be great. Like you've been
15:07
doing it forever. You love doing it.
15:09
You're passionate about it. You work hard.
15:11
You're always writing. Of course it's great.
15:13
And it's fun. It's the best. I
15:16
don't think there. I don't think there's
15:18
any environment. that's more conducive to getting
15:20
chops. I mean that really is a
15:22
gym to me and everybody there is.
15:25
Just getting better. It's at fucking stage
15:27
time. There's no fucking substitute for stage
15:29
time. No substitute stage time and a
15:31
good tribe. Yeah You got you got
15:34
to have that because everybody's killing it
15:36
like when I see a son up
15:38
there killing him I'm like ooh, let's
15:40
go I get excited. Everybody's come a
15:43
long way. A long way. You see
15:45
these guys like Ari Maddie, these young
15:47
guys coming up. You see all these
15:49
people and Cam Patterson on Kill Tony
15:52
Monday night was on fire. on fire
15:54
you see the growth you see these
15:56
guys emerging and you're like this is
15:58
incredible we're so lucky we're in the
16:01
like the we have the luckiest job
16:03
in the luckiest place in the world
16:05
I think so man and if I
16:07
was a young comic now I would
16:10
go to Austin Texas 100% because they're
16:12
just all that stage time and now
16:14
you don't actually automatically get to go
16:16
to the mother ship but that can
16:19
be your goal and get in there
16:21
you don't actually automatically get to go
16:23
to the mother ship but that can
16:25
be your goal and get in there
16:28
man you can get in there if
16:30
you're good there's a lot of women
16:32
get in there a lot of nine
16:34
binary people If you're funny, your shit's
16:37
on the internet. It's like, the path
16:39
has never been clear now for a
16:41
young comic. I mean, when I was
16:44
young, start now, and it's like, how
16:46
do you do this? How do you
16:48
get on stage? How do you get
16:50
a manager? How do you get paid?
16:53
How do you do it? Right. You
16:55
know, now it's like, it's kind of
16:57
laid out. the growth spot to know
16:59
how to get better you know because
17:02
I was like you there was no
17:04
direction there was nobody giving advice there
17:06
was you know you just looked at
17:08
it went okay I'll try this yeah
17:11
let's see and well you made it
17:13
late in life too You know, that's
17:15
probably why you have this thing in
17:17
your head because like when did Blue
17:20
Collar was like how old we when
17:22
that that tour kicked out 45 Yeah,
17:24
see that's that's that's that's why that's
17:26
the thing you know who else had
17:29
that same sort of feel Phil Hartman?
17:31
Phil Hartman didn't get on Saturday Night
17:33
Live. I think he was 36. That
17:35
was his first break 36? Yeah, I'm
17:38
pretty sure Now did he do stand-up
17:40
also or is he? He was going
17:42
to. He would do some stand-up to
17:44
warm up the crowd sometimes. Oh okay.
17:47
And he would fuck around and he
17:49
and I talked about it and I
17:51
said anytime you want to do it
17:53
I'll take you to the store. I
17:56
go you can get on stageless. I
17:58
go you don't need a lot of
18:00
time. You just like put together five
18:02
minutes I'll help you. I know you
18:05
could do it. I know you could
18:07
do it. And he had some really
18:09
funny impressions. he built Clinton impression. He
18:11
was a funny fucking dude and a
18:14
hard worker. You want to talk about
18:16
a hard worker? That dude used to
18:18
make me, everybody felt like they weren't
18:21
a professional when they were on that
18:23
guy. He would have like tabs and
18:25
shit, a notebook, where all the scenes
18:27
were, everything was organized. Yeah, I already
18:30
feel unprofessional. While he was doing that,
18:32
he was also trying to take his
18:34
pilot's license in between scenes. You'd be
18:36
reading airplane, you'd be reading airplane books.
18:39
What a fucking dread. Oh, bro, you
18:41
don't know the half of it. I
18:43
tried to get him to divorce her
18:45
a long time ago. I told him
18:48
like right when he was struggling. I
18:50
said man, just give her half. Just
18:52
get out. You'll make more money. And
18:54
he was like, well, it's not half.
18:57
It's a scam. The lawyers get a
18:59
third. It's a third. You get a
19:01
third of your fucking money. Okay, okay,
19:03
okay, okay. Just give her the money.
19:06
Money is fun coupons. Right. If you're
19:08
having money and you're not having fun,
19:10
then what are you got to cut
19:12
something off? You know, you got to
19:15
figure out what, where's the cancer? Hack
19:17
it off. Hack off that melanoma and
19:19
let's get this party rolling. Like you
19:21
shouldn't be involved with someone that you
19:24
hate. That's crazy. You come home to
19:26
someone who hates you. That's crazy. That
19:28
is insane. That's crazy. And you know,
19:30
and I've been in bad relationships before
19:33
that I cut off and of course.
19:35
And then all of a sudden you
19:37
can breathe again. You're a different person
19:39
when you're in a bad relationship. Like
19:42
you're not the best friend if your
19:44
friend is a cocksucker. You know, you're...
19:46
you're good friends with good friends. Like
19:49
we all inspire each other and if
19:51
you got a one-way street or if
19:53
you are one of those unfortunate people
19:55
that hooked up with a hot lunatic,
19:58
because that's the problem. You got a
20:00
hot lunatic. Right. And they're sexy and
20:02
they're fun for short bursts of a
20:04
few hours at a time and then
20:07
you're like... Oh my god, this person
20:09
is in my life. And if you
20:11
move in with them, oh Christ, I
20:13
know. And if you have kids with
20:16
them, oh Christ, and if you're married
20:18
to them, oh Christ, you married a
20:20
hot lunatic. The hole gets deeper and
20:22
deeper and deeper. This episode is brought
20:25
to you by UberEats. Summer is almost
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Lemon mering? That's a yes. A day
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rum? A bottle of rum. Yes! alcohol,
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you must be legal drinking age, please
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enjoy responsibly, product availability varies by region,
20:52
see app for details. You know, you're
20:54
Johnny Depp and you're on TV. Yeah,
20:56
and you're in the court. With the
20:58
whole thing falling to pieces. The whole
21:01
thing falling to pieces in front of
21:03
the whole world, because you married a
21:05
hot lunatic. And that's the thing about
21:07
symmetry and beauty and women who are
21:10
sexy, they just can trick you. And
21:12
man are so easily tricked or so
21:14
vulnerable. Oh, I'm the worst. I'm so
21:16
easy to lead me down a road,
21:19
I'll just sniff my way. Oh, this
21:21
is blessed. I'm in love. We're gonna
21:23
elope, fuck it. I don't care about
21:26
my money. Yeah. She used to like
21:28
insult him at parties and shit, Phil
21:30
Hartman's wife. It was really rough. I
21:32
remember we all went to this party
21:35
once, like some industry type party, and
21:37
she was insulting him, and I was
21:39
like, oh, I just, I had a
21:41
bite my tongue, which I'm not very
21:44
good at, you know? No. And I
21:46
was like, and then, you know, he
21:48
and I were in his green, his
21:50
little dressing room. I was telling him,
21:53
like, there's another way. You know, you're
21:55
a great guy, you're a lot of
21:57
fun, you'd be a better person if
21:59
you were with someone better. you'd feel
22:02
better about yourself. Like you can't be
22:04
feeling good about yourself. You got a,
22:06
you know, but he had kids
22:08
too, which complicates the fuck out
22:10
of everything. He had kids with
22:12
her? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah.
22:14
Yeah. What a horrible fucking story. Did I
22:17
tell you the story about like the worst
22:19
I ever bombed on stage right after that?
22:21
Like, easily the worst I've ever bombed on
22:24
stage. Did I ever tell you the story?
22:26
I've never seen you bomb on stage. I
22:28
was at the gas station. And I was
22:30
getting gas. It was two weeks after he
22:33
was murdered. And it was the first time
22:35
I was going to go on stage again.
22:37
Because I was, everyone was wrecked. I didn't
22:39
even know like how long it would take
22:42
before I felt like I could do comedy
22:44
again. So I'm at the gas station
22:46
getting gas. And just randomly run into
22:48
a buddy of mine. Who's a cop. And
22:50
I go, hey, what's up? What's
22:53
going on, man? He's like, how
22:55
are you doing? You're doing okay?
22:57
I'm like, man, we're all fucked
23:00
up, you know. And he goes,
23:02
did I tell you that I
23:04
was there? I go, no. You were
23:07
there? He goes, dude. What? He
23:09
goes, I was there when the
23:11
kids ran from the mom.
23:13
I go, what do you
23:15
mean? He's like, after she
23:17
killed herself in the bathroom.
23:20
And she had the kids in
23:22
there with her, with a gun.
23:24
And a lot of times
23:26
when moms kill themselves, they'll
23:29
kill their kids too. And
23:31
the cops saw that, and
23:33
so they kicked open the door.
23:36
And when they kicked open
23:38
the door, the kids ran
23:40
from the mom. The kids
23:42
ran out of the bathroom,
23:44
and then the mom blew
23:47
her brains out. I'm
23:49
seeing my friend at the gas station
23:51
right before I go on stage. I'm
23:53
going on stage in about 45 minutes.
23:55
Jesus. Yeah. Half hour drive at the
23:58
common store. 15 minutes for our...
24:00
going to go on stage and this
24:02
is my face I'm just like
24:04
there's nothing funny in the world
24:06
is nothing funny in the world
24:08
and then after I recovered you
24:10
know it took like another week
24:12
off and then I came back
24:14
and I was like he would
24:16
just he just wanted me to
24:18
keep going I had a dream
24:20
about him once I was like
24:22
the most realistic dream I've ever
24:24
had about anybody in my life
24:26
ever in my life he was
24:29
sitting a lawn chair And I
24:31
ran into him and I was
24:33
like, what are you doing? What
24:35
are you doing? And he's like,
24:37
oh, I'm fine. He goes, we
24:39
made up. It was a lot.
24:41
He goes, obviously we had a
24:43
lot to work out and he
24:45
laughed about it. And I said,
24:47
well, that's great, man. And then
24:49
he pushed the chair back and
24:51
he was gone. And then I
24:53
woke up. The one of the
24:55
most I've had two very realistic
24:57
dreams in my life that seemed
24:59
so realistic They didn't even make
25:01
sense That was one of them
25:03
where it was like I Feel
25:05
like he was there. I didn't
25:07
I didn't feel I feel like
25:09
he wanted me to let it
25:11
go was so weird I felt
25:13
like you know He wanted it's
25:15
like that's how he was whenever
25:18
they would fight because it like
25:20
I'm not I don't like fights
25:22
in real, which sounds crazy because
25:24
I commentate on fights, but I
25:26
don't like, I don't like conflict.
25:28
I wish it didn't exist. The
25:30
reason why I got good at
25:32
fighting like martial arts is because
25:34
I was scared of conflict. I
25:36
don't like it. I understand it,
25:38
but I don't think it's necessary.
25:40
And I don't think fighting in
25:42
a relationship. I think that's the
25:44
worst. People that get in these
25:46
relationships, they scream and yell at
25:48
each other and call each other
25:50
horrible names. But with a lot
25:52
of people becomes this cycle of
25:54
getting mad at each other and
25:56
then making up and then the
25:58
making up sex is like very
26:00
addictive to a lot of people.
26:02
It's like it's a different kind
26:04
of thing and you get on
26:07
this weird roller coaster ride if
26:09
I hate you I hate you
26:11
I love you and he was
26:13
he was on that roller coaster
26:15
ride and he was letting me
26:17
know like it just went too
26:19
far and went crazy. We know
26:21
I lived in Mexico for a
26:23
while with a... with a woman
26:25
who eventually took her own life.
26:27
And I mean, I was already
26:29
out of the picture for a
26:31
couple of years, and when that
26:33
happened, but when I was in
26:35
Mexico with her, I knew that
26:37
I was trapped, number one. I
26:39
moved down there to start a
26:41
fucking pottery company. because I was
26:43
frustrated with stand-up comedy. They had
26:45
just cut my, the Funny Bone
26:47
chain had just cut my pay
26:49
by a third. Because they realized
26:51
that I just worked for them.
26:53
And I couldn't patch this schedule
26:56
together without them. Oh, what a
26:58
bunch of assholes. And I told
27:00
the guy that ran the Funny
27:02
Bone, Gerald Kubak, to go eat
27:04
a steaming bowl of fuck. And,
27:06
uh... I don't even know what
27:08
that would look like. I don't
27:10
know, but it cost me a
27:12
lot of work to say it,
27:14
but it was still fun to
27:16
say. Wow. But I moved with
27:18
her down to Mexico and I
27:20
knew that she was crazy and
27:22
the way it came up was
27:24
she had called a friend of
27:26
mine and told her that sometimes
27:28
she stands over my bed with
27:30
a knife and just stares at
27:32
me and my son was there
27:34
also part of the time. And
27:36
I'm like, well, that's over. I
27:38
got to get out of this.
27:40
But the big thing was, I
27:42
was depressed because of my situation,
27:45
because I didn't see a way
27:47
out of it. You know, I
27:49
didn't see a way out. I
27:51
just couldn't see, I just couldn't
27:53
see a path. And it got
27:55
to where... When I was around
27:57
people I couldn't talk and and
27:59
and you know I did I
28:01
had no tribe You know at
28:03
all I was cut off from
28:05
all my friends and it's just
28:07
something I did to myself with
28:09
that move down to Mexico Which
28:11
I was there for three years
28:13
and and it was just the
28:15
worst time of my life and
28:17
I really didn't think I'd ever
28:19
come out of it I mean
28:21
I never thought I could even
28:23
get back to a place where
28:25
I could sit and have a
28:27
conversation with somebody. That's how depressed
28:29
I was And when I, it
28:31
was funny because I moved into
28:34
Mexico, I had the biggest truck
28:36
that Rider makes, pulling the biggest
28:38
trailer they make, my van pulling
28:40
the biggest trailer they make, all
28:42
headed down south to everything, moved
28:44
to Mexico. Why Mexico? Because my
28:46
girlfriend at the time did this
28:48
mosaic tile application to existing pottery.
28:50
And she would sell it. art
28:52
shows or craft shows, you know,
28:54
whatever. And it would sell really
28:56
fast, but it took her six
28:58
months to make any of it,
29:00
so I thought, why wouldn't you
29:02
just throw down to Mexico and
29:04
train a bunch of women how
29:06
to make it? And let her
29:08
orchestrate it. And I fucking did
29:10
it. I was part of that
29:12
sucking sound that Ross Perot was
29:14
talking about going to Mexico. Three
29:16
years later I had the exact
29:18
same equipment headed on north out
29:20
of Mexico with same exact truck
29:23
trailer everything. That was a bad
29:25
idea. Three years. Wow. But once
29:27
I had, once I, oh she
29:29
was so hot. Oh she was
29:31
so hot. And I'd never been
29:33
with a hot woman before. I'd
29:35
never been with, I mean it
29:37
was my girl, you know. and
29:39
uh... she was just so she
29:41
was so beautiful i'm like i'm
29:43
gonna i'll be with her even
29:45
though i hate her just so
29:47
i can look at her yeah
29:49
i just stare at her and
29:51
that'll be enough that's all i
29:53
need Turns out I needed a
29:55
little more than that. So you
29:57
can only tolerate so much. And
29:59
then I ended up marrying this
30:01
other girl that was horrible. I
30:03
mean, I mean, I know she's
30:05
probably listening to this right now,
30:07
so I don't mean horrible, but
30:09
horrible. And, but she always shirts
30:12
the internet for things about me,
30:14
so she could say, hey, this
30:16
person said, thanks for signing my
30:18
girlfriend's tickets. What are you out
30:20
there signing girlfriend's tickets? Yeah, I
30:22
was signing anybody's ticket, you know,
30:24
just always looking. Every time she'd
30:26
turn on her computer, it'd make
30:28
me sick to my stomach, because
30:30
I didn't know what she was
30:32
going to come up with, you
30:34
know, I'm no angel anyway. And,
30:36
uh, but so that girl's sister,
30:38
which she killed herself, She brought
30:40
it in and handed it to
30:42
me and all I did was
30:44
sit down on the couch and
30:46
she goes, oh now you loved
30:48
her. Now just give me a
30:50
minute, okay? Just give me a
30:52
minute. This is her sister doing
30:54
this? No, this is my wife.
30:56
She got the note from her,
30:59
she got the letter from her
31:01
sister and handed it to me
31:03
and she saw it affected me.
31:05
Oh, now you loved her. Jesus
31:07
Christ. What are you supposed to
31:09
do? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah,
31:11
just give me a minute. Give
31:13
me a minute. Yeah, give me
31:15
a minute. Jesus, it's a human
31:17
being that you know that killed
31:19
themselves. How many people do you
31:21
think you know that have killed
31:23
themselves? Oh man, let's see, not
31:25
very many, that I really knew.
31:27
My best friend, one of my
31:29
best friends from childhood killed himself,
31:31
and but we thought he died
31:33
at the massacre in Waco because
31:35
that's, he was a big Koresh
31:37
guy. Oh boy, you missed the
31:39
massacre? Yeah, he missed the massacre,
31:41
but we thought he would. We
31:43
thought maybe he's there when it
31:45
was all going down, but he
31:48
wasn't. And eventually, it was an
31:50
odd thing anyway. He was, he
31:52
was a dear friend from childhood,
31:54
his dad was the music director
31:56
of my church, and he and
31:58
I used to bluff the floors
32:00
of the church for those big
32:02
bluff, that was our job on
32:04
one day a week that we'd
32:06
go down there. And we'd actually
32:08
seen Neil Young songs to the
32:10
top of our lungs, because we'd...
32:12
Well, I dreamed I saw the
32:14
nights, you know. We'd just sing
32:16
the fuck out of Neil Young
32:18
songs. That's the only tape I
32:20
had, you know. I know you
32:22
and him had a little problem,
32:24
but... I don't have no problem.
32:26
I know, you were so sweet
32:28
about that. I love that guy.
32:30
I love his music. He just
32:32
had, he didn't get it. No
32:34
he didn't. That's all it is.
32:37
That was a, that was a,
32:39
that was a dumb thing. Well
32:41
he just missed, he didn't understand
32:43
what was happening and nobody did.
32:45
I don't blame him. Nobody did.
32:47
I'd, I'd talk to him in
32:49
a heartbeat. Even though he pulled
32:51
his music and tried to get
32:53
me removed from Spotify. Right. He
32:55
just got, he missed, he didn't
32:57
know what was happening. He got
32:59
tricked. He got tricked. A lot
33:01
of people got tricked. A lot
33:03
of people thought that this was
33:05
the only way out. We had
33:07
to listen to these evil lying
33:09
fucks that were telling us that
33:11
everybody had to take this vaccine.
33:13
There's no other medicine available. And
33:15
if you didn't, everybody was going
33:17
to die. And, you know, he
33:19
got caught up in it. They
33:21
got us all though. They got
33:23
the whole country. You can't be
33:26
mad at the whole country. That's
33:28
crazy. Right, I don't want to
33:30
be mad at anybody anymore Ron
33:32
White. I don't either. As I
33:34
get older, I'm less and less
33:36
inclined. There's people I don't wish
33:38
to talk to. Like I don't
33:40
need that in my life. I
33:42
don't need whatever you bring in
33:44
my life, but I don't wish
33:46
bad. Yeah, I have really, really
33:48
healthy boundaries when it comes to
33:50
people that don't make me feel
33:52
good. You know, I just don't,
33:54
I just won't hang around. Yeah,
33:56
I don't wanna be around and
33:58
confront them like, who cares? Yeah,
34:00
no. Good luck to you, I'll
34:02
give you a hug. I got
34:04
some other shit going on. Yeah,
34:06
I have friends. But you know
34:08
what, I tell you what makes
34:10
you a good friend. When you
34:12
get successful, and I'll just talk
34:15
about successful like I am. you
34:17
know that because there's something to
34:19
gain and that's true with you
34:21
too I mean that you know
34:23
you you hold a lot of
34:25
power and you have something a
34:27
lot of people fucking want and
34:29
I know that because I have
34:31
a box of and I should
34:33
have brought him and given him
34:35
to you anyway I'll bring him
34:37
to the club tonight but it's
34:39
just a guy I met that
34:41
owns a sunglasses for hunting and
34:43
he Who wears sunglasses when they
34:45
hunt? I don't know. Nobody? You
34:47
can't wear them when you... Well,
34:49
I guess maybe some people probably
34:51
do. I bet rifle hunters do.
34:53
Yeah, they... He said that one
34:55
of them were specifically for bow
34:57
hunting that makes you see the
34:59
target better or something. Oh, interesting.
35:01
Okay. So he's got an invention.
35:04
You know, I don't know I
35:06
don't hunt so I don't really
35:08
know anything about hunting and glasses
35:10
He just said he's gonna send
35:12
a box would you give him
35:14
to Joe and I said yeah,
35:16
I'll give him to him and
35:18
I didn't so I would think
35:20
the glasses would get in the
35:22
way because you know when you
35:24
Shoot with a bow there's a
35:26
thing called a peep site so
35:28
you have your string and in
35:30
your string is What one of
35:32
things that's sewn into your string
35:34
is this little plastic circle sure
35:36
Do you know it is? Yeah.
35:38
Okay, so you know it lines
35:40
up with the scope, the housing
35:42
of the bow? No, I don't
35:44
know that. So where the peep
35:46
site is when you draw back
35:48
and you don't look through the...
35:50
through the string, you look to
35:53
the circle that's on the string,
35:55
it's sewed into the string, and
35:57
that circle, you line it up
35:59
exactly with your site housing. And
36:01
so where your pin is, it's
36:03
all about like staying calm and
36:05
keeping that pin there and you
36:07
want to keep it all like
36:09
connected together. So my eyes like
36:11
right there, like right next to
36:13
this, this peep site. If I
36:15
had glasses, it might get in
36:17
the way. You know what I
36:19
mean? Because the string is touching
36:21
my nose and the thing is
36:23
right there. And I'm just drawing
36:25
back and I'm looking at it
36:27
like that, right through it. I'll
36:29
give them to you, see what
36:31
you think. I don't know anybody,
36:33
but I know some hunters that
36:35
have glasses, so there must be
36:37
a way to adjust. I don't
36:39
know. That's what you told me
36:42
though. Okay. I'll try it out.
36:44
I'm open to anything. You never
36:46
know. And anything that makes you
36:48
good at that makes you good
36:50
at that. Like, I meet a
36:52
guy and he's like, I'm a
36:54
bow hunter. I'm like, oh, okay.
36:56
Oh, I already went. What I'm
36:58
saying is this. Go ahead. What
37:00
I'm saying is this. That you're
37:02
one of the only friends that
37:04
I have that'll say, no, that's
37:06
fucked up, right? You don't agree
37:08
with me to make me feel
37:10
better because you have something I
37:12
have something you need. Right. You
37:14
know, you'll go ahead and go,
37:16
nah. Every now on that. This
37:18
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your first month. That's Better Help,
38:43
H-E-L-P,.com/J-J-R-E. Well, that Green Room's great
38:45
for that. A lot of this,
38:48
because everybody knows that everybody loves
38:50
everybody loves everybody loves everybody, everybody,
38:52
so everybody can just talk openly
38:54
about anything, about anything. Like if
38:56
you have like some dumb argument with
38:58
someone, someone will come in and go, yeah,
39:00
I think he's right. Yeah. Yeah. And you
39:03
gotta go, oh, really? What? Okay, let
39:05
me think about it. You need that your
39:07
life. You don't want to be a tyrant.
39:09
No. You know, and that's what
39:11
happens to a lot of successful
39:13
people is they get real insecure
39:15
and so they become kind of
39:18
a tyrant and they don't want
39:20
to listen to anybody else. You
39:22
know, you see that with people
39:24
that are like on shows that
39:26
they run the show, it's the
39:28
show's all about them, you know,
39:30
they're the show. And they're, you
39:32
know, they're the producer, an executive
39:34
producer, and the cast all kisses
39:36
their ass, and they're at the
39:38
top of the fucking casting call
39:40
or whatever it is, the call
39:42
sheet. Yeah, it's a bad place to
39:45
be, you don't want to be there.
39:47
Don't do it. You just, you got
39:49
to resist the urge. My
39:51
Iowasca place
39:54
down in
39:56
Costa Rica. So
40:00
I went four years ago, right?
40:02
And that's when I quit drinking.
40:04
Right. Which you know I did,
40:06
right? You know I quit drinking.
40:08
I quit too. When? A month
40:10
ago. I knew that you weren't
40:12
drinking. Yeah, I think I'm done.
40:15
For no reason. Other than it's
40:17
not good for you. Yeah. No,
40:19
I didn't have to. I enjoyed
40:21
it. Right. No, you were having
40:23
a good time. I was watching.
40:25
But the days after drinking were
40:27
just too rough. And I'm like,
40:29
what kind of a moron who
40:31
takes so good care of his
40:33
body is poison himself a couple
40:36
of days a week for fun?
40:38
You know, why am I doing
40:40
that? And then I'm like, well,
40:42
will I have the same amount
40:44
of fun if I don't poison
40:46
myself? Turns out, yes. Exactly. Right.
40:48
Well, there's more than one way
40:50
to skin a cat. I mean,
40:52
you haven't quit everything, right? Exactly.
40:55
Yeah, and I'm just skinning the
40:57
cat a different way. Tell me
40:59
about your cat. Well, I'm gonna
41:01
play some eco-ros. Did they play
41:03
those while you went through the...
41:05
There we go. Jamie's got them
41:07
already. So what's that? This is
41:09
the songs that a lot of
41:11
the shaman liked to play while
41:13
you're tripping balls. the hallucination will
41:16
dance to the songs. Oh wow.
41:18
There's certain songs, you're like, I
41:20
don't get it. Like the Grateful
41:22
Dead? I've never been on acid
41:24
at a dead concert, but they
41:26
say, if you are, you get
41:28
it. So like I'm missing that
41:30
part. Right. You know? So to
41:32
me, it's like, it's just this
41:35
jam music, which is fine, but
41:37
I'd rather listen to Skinner. You
41:39
know what I mean? And it
41:41
was the original skin, the real
41:43
skinnered before the plane crashed. No,
41:45
I'm just saying, these guys are
41:47
putting show together. I'm sure. Ricky
41:49
Medlock, playing Alan Collins' play, they
41:51
had two other guitar players. but
41:53
it is a band. I mean
41:56
they are nailing this shit. I
41:58
had tears coming up my eyes
42:00
during Fucking Free Bird for a
42:02
lot of reasons. Number one, I
42:04
saw them in 73. Me and
42:06
Steve Cook, who was my best
42:08
friend all the day died. And
42:10
Ronnie Van Zant was lighting joints.
42:12
And he was handing them out
42:14
into the crowd. Well, me and
42:17
Steve had worked our way up
42:19
to the front. He handed one
42:21
of them to me, and everybody
42:23
else was taking a hit. I
42:25
just stuck it in my pocket
42:27
and went in the bathroom and
42:29
smoked it because it was illegal
42:31
then. And I was listening to
42:33
Skitt. Well, Sunday night, I'm at
42:36
the scanner show. There's cops where
42:38
I was, and there was outhouses
42:40
right next to it, where you
42:42
go through the fence. And I
42:44
told my girlfriend, I'll be right
42:46
back, I was over there, I
42:48
was in the out house smoking
42:50
a joint, listening to the skinner,
42:52
and I'm like, well I haven't
42:54
changed much in 50 fucking years,
42:57
you know, the exact same thing.
42:59
Some songs, people just nailed it
43:01
and it stays great forever. You
43:03
never get tired of free bird.
43:05
But there's... That guitar solo? Yeah.
43:07
And they just fucking hammered at
43:09
home. I mean, it was so
43:11
good. I brought him on stage
43:13
at the Greek one time, maybe
43:16
20 years ago or 15 years
43:18
ago, I don't know. And it
43:20
was fun because I got to
43:22
say, I got to say that
43:24
when I was 16 years old,
43:26
we were at the Schenard Show
43:28
and we had taken enough mushrooms
43:30
to kill an average teenager, but
43:32
we weren't average teenagers. And so
43:34
it kind of brought back all
43:37
those memories, you know, and then
43:39
Washington played a game. It's kind
43:41
of weird because especially when I
43:43
come back from arrhythmia, which is
43:45
my place out there, that I
43:47
always come back emotional and kind
43:49
of full of love and forgiveness
43:51
and those kinds of things. That's
43:53
the kind of thing. I learned
43:55
from those hallucinations. Isn't it crazy
43:58
that that's illegal? Yeah, to feel
44:00
good. You gotta go to another
44:02
country to be a better person.
44:04
You gotta go to another country.
44:06
You gotta leave the land of
44:08
the free. Leave the land of
44:10
freedom to go to another country
44:12
that's much more lawless and take
44:14
in the divine. and come back
44:17
a better person. And it's crazy
44:19
and I also said that I
44:21
don't think it's for everybody you
44:23
know I'm not somebody out there
44:25
just going yeah you gotta you
44:27
gotta do this because I think
44:29
you have to be open to
44:31
some things you know you have
44:33
to be open to hey maybe
44:35
I'm wrong about everything you know
44:38
maybe there is if you're not
44:40
open to it you'll get hit
44:42
hard. Well and that's why it's
44:44
not for everybody because I you
44:46
know I've seen people wig down
44:48
there. I know you can get
44:50
Iowaski locally and have they have,
44:52
you know, people that are, I
44:54
don't know where they got their
44:57
shaman title from, but you can
44:59
do it here. Yeah. But I
45:01
know that there, you know, it's
45:03
a licensed medical facility with doctors.
45:05
It's the only one in the
45:07
world that's a licensed medical facility.
45:09
And it's, and they're prepared when
45:11
people wig. You know, they know
45:13
what to do. they know to
45:15
hold you down. Yeah, and they
45:18
do too. They all fucking bind
45:20
you up and wait till it
45:22
to clear because they know that
45:24
you're at a point in this
45:26
that you're going through some heavy
45:28
shit. One of them was an
45:30
NFL player last time I was
45:32
there and this guy was fucking
45:34
huge place for Buffalo and and
45:36
he just and I was like
45:39
God if if you had to
45:41
pick somebody to wig you would
45:43
say please don't let it be
45:45
that fucking dude. Did he wig?
45:47
Oh no! He wig big time.
45:49
Oh no. And started just screaming.
45:51
the fuck away from me oh
45:53
no which will you know that
45:55
kind of you know you got
45:58
70 people in this room that
46:00
are tripping and so no what
46:02
a what a bummer and it
46:04
was and but they got big
46:06
guys too oh and so they
46:08
just got him out of the
46:10
room got him called and he
46:12
didn't leave you know he just
46:14
he was going through some shit
46:16
mmm the first time I went
46:19
there this girl from Japan started
46:21
kicking and screaming and they took
46:23
her outside and they had to
46:25
fucking subdue her but at the
46:27
end of the day the person
46:29
with the biggest smile on their
46:31
face was her because she worked
46:33
through some shit that I can't
46:35
even talk about that I happen
46:38
to know what it was but
46:40
it ain't worth knowing and but
46:42
she found pure fucking joy and
46:44
peace in her life and you
46:46
could see it in her face
46:48
you know And I was wondering
46:50
why when she was wigging out,
46:52
why is nobody flipping out but
46:54
me, because the people that worked
46:56
there weren't flipping out at all,
46:59
because they've seen it. And there's
47:01
nothing they haven't seen. There's been
47:03
18,000 people through that facility, and
47:05
so they've seen it all. But
47:07
they just know how to handle
47:09
it. Well, I wonder if you're
47:11
just in some mansion in Beverly
47:13
Hills or whatever. If there's somebody
47:15
there that knows how to handle
47:17
it, probably not. Probably not. Especially
47:20
if you don't know what you're
47:22
going to get hit with. Yeah,
47:24
and you need to be in
47:26
a really safe place where people
47:28
know how to guide you through
47:30
it. Yeah. You know, it's not
47:32
something I think you want to
47:34
grab a handful of and go
47:36
sit in a fucking closet, you
47:39
know, and try to figure it
47:41
out for yourself. So that's the
47:43
real weirdness of any kind of
47:45
a psychedelic journey. Is that you're
47:47
probably going to be... going through
47:49
some shit and someone could either
47:51
manipulate you during that time or
47:53
help you during that time. And
47:55
there are people that will manipulate.
47:57
Absolutely. And that's why, you know,
48:00
that's why I go to this
48:02
place. That's not that easy to
48:04
go to. Just because it's so
48:06
safe. You know, it's just set
48:08
up perfectly for what they're trying
48:10
to do. And it was this
48:12
guy's. Dream to do that to
48:14
make it accessible to regular people.
48:16
So back then when he opened
48:19
up you had to go to
48:21
a Corrugated 10 shack in Peru
48:23
or wherever to get this stuff
48:25
and he said I want to
48:27
make a place that's safe to
48:29
go and People feel comfortable and
48:31
you know, so isn't it kind
48:33
of crazy that that's illegal? I
48:35
mean, it's kind of the weirdest
48:37
thing of all time that we
48:40
haven't just as a society went.
48:42
Okay, why are all these people
48:44
going to these places? Okay, when
48:46
they come back, do they have
48:48
positive experiences? Does it help them?
48:50
Yeah, a lot of them. Okay,
48:52
why don't we do that here?
48:54
It should be that simple. Should
48:56
be that simple. It should be
48:58
so simple. Yeah, there was a
49:01
guy there that was on a
49:03
scholarship they had for basically wounded
49:05
warriors that are going through heavy
49:07
PTSD. There's an organization that's sending
49:09
guys to arrhythmia. So I got
49:11
to talk to him a lot
49:13
while he was there and he
49:15
was a psychologist and but and
49:17
he was he was fucked up
49:20
and but I kind of got
49:22
to watch his transformation a little
49:24
bit watch this guy's coming around
49:26
and I'd seen that and I'd
49:28
seen the transformation in myself where
49:30
I could just not be so
49:32
angry and not be and not
49:34
hold all this hate you know
49:36
that that I that takes so
49:38
much energy to fucking control. and
49:41
to have them really show me
49:43
a way to let all that
49:45
stuff go, you know, to be
49:47
a happier person. You know, it's
49:49
hard to, I really don't understand
49:51
Iowaska, so it's really hard to
49:53
explain it to somebody else, you
49:55
know, but the... But I don't
49:57
think anybody really understands it. Yeah,
50:00
right. And I know there's some
50:02
stuff that's stronger than that, but
50:04
I don't know what it's called.
50:06
I begane, you mean? Is that
50:08
what it is? I begane is
50:10
the one that people use for
50:12
addiction. There's a place called Beyond
50:14
that's in Mexico that does that.
50:16
Rick Perry was telling us about
50:18
that. A lot of former governor
50:21
Rick Perry is not part of
50:23
that. He really wants to bring
50:25
Ibegan to Texas and have treatment
50:27
centers. We can't be gambling here.
50:29
I think they can get Ibegan.
50:31
I think especially with a Republican
50:33
like Rick Perry who's really concerned
50:35
about the mental health of veterans
50:37
because I think that's where it
50:39
really shines. Ibegan in particular helps
50:42
a lot of people. Absolutely gives
50:44
you like a review of your
50:46
life apparently I've never experienced it
50:48
But the people that have have
50:50
very positive things to say about
50:52
it and it's incredibly good at
50:54
helping people get over addictions It
50:56
has a very high success rate
50:58
for one treatment. I think it's
51:01
in the 80% And then if
51:03
you do two treatments, it's in
51:05
the mid 90s. That's fucking amazing.
51:07
Yeah, people that never go back
51:09
to the drugs. Never, never go
51:11
back to whatever it is, gambling,
51:13
whatever you have, whatever's wrong with
51:15
you. All you gotta do is
51:17
figure out what's wrong with you.
51:19
Yeah, you gotta figure out why
51:22
you're doing that. Like, what is
51:24
this pathway that I keep going
51:26
down that's sabotaging my whole life
51:28
and why can I not resist
51:30
it? Why can I not resist
51:32
it? What is it? Well that
51:34
was the question I had with
51:36
myself. Because I drank like a
51:38
fool for years. You don't say.
51:41
It was funny because whenever I
51:43
was single again and I was
51:45
in the green room and I
51:47
said maybe I'll start drinking again
51:49
and everybody at one time went
51:51
no. I was just kidding. I
51:53
was just kidding. I was just
51:55
kidding. Well you quit like that
51:57
though. You did like. were gone.
51:59
I did and but I went
52:02
to to to rhythm me with
52:04
intention. I wanted to know why
52:06
I was doing this to myself
52:08
and why I could not see
52:10
a way to quit and it
52:12
was so tied up in my
52:14
persona my stage presence who I
52:16
really was at the time and
52:18
I'm like why is this all
52:20
tied to me and why can't
52:23
I shake it? And and so
52:25
With that I also went through
52:27
hypnosis because I had to get
52:29
sober before I went to Because
52:31
that's not what their deal is.
52:33
They're not a treatment facility It
52:35
could be a byproduct of it,
52:37
but they're like we're not we're
52:39
not gonna we don't have detox
52:42
here You know, so you have
52:44
to quit some other way and
52:46
and once you've been sober for
52:48
a month you can come down
52:50
here which is exactly what I
52:52
did I came up with a
52:54
way to do that through Hypnosis
52:56
which I thought was pretty effective
52:58
and and and and and but
53:00
I got sober once before in
53:03
one of those rehabs in Malibu
53:05
for 90 grand and which was
53:07
at the time I was spiraling
53:09
you know I was I was
53:11
living in a five-star hotel in
53:13
Beverly Hills I was doing a
53:15
bunch of blow I was screwing
53:17
expensive hookers which is exactly my
53:19
life plan you know I'm like
53:22
okay here it is and it
53:24
ended up feeling pretty hollow you
53:26
know and I ended up going
53:28
there And I stayed sober for
53:30
about maybe six months or something
53:32
like that, but it was white
53:34
knuckle the whole fucking time of,
53:36
you know, no fun. But when
53:38
I did it, the way I
53:40
did it, when I checked into
53:43
that facility, I got the sweat,
53:45
night sweats, so bad when I
53:47
quit. that I would, they had
53:49
two beds in the new people's
53:51
things and I would soak the
53:53
sheets in one of them and
53:55
move to the other bed and
53:57
soak the sheets in that one.
53:59
I was detoxing. time. Never happened
54:01
this time. I never had a
54:04
night sweat, never regretted it, never
54:06
thought about it again, never tempted
54:08
to drink again, and you know,
54:10
and I, I own number one
54:12
tequila still and and it's there
54:14
at the Green Room every night
54:16
and I'm not even, it doesn't
54:18
even bother me a bit. That's
54:20
interesting. And that's what the big
54:23
fear a lot of people have
54:25
is how I still be around
54:27
bars. Right. And yeah, is it
54:29
a little awkward at first? Yes,
54:31
and do I hang out in
54:33
bars all the time other than
54:35
our club? No, I don't. I
54:37
mean, I'll go listen to music
54:39
if there's something, but just to
54:41
go to a bar and hang
54:44
out, I just don't do it.
54:46
Right. for whatever reason. Well, it's
54:48
not that much fun being around
54:50
drunks when you're sober. No, it's
54:52
really not. You gotta be in
54:54
the vibe of the drunks to
54:56
appreciate drunk talk. Yeah. When you're
54:58
sober and someone's drunk and they're
55:00
telling you some fucking story about
55:03
their boss being a douche bag,
55:05
it's like whoa. Right. So, and
55:07
I also have a tendency, a
55:09
natural tendency, to just kind of
55:11
isolate anyway, you know, and so
55:13
I really... That's one of the
55:15
things I love about the club
55:17
is it gets me out of
55:19
the house. It gets me to
55:21
go down there where my friends
55:24
are and do what I do
55:26
for a living and what I
55:28
do for fun both. I think
55:30
a lot of people have that
55:32
problem, that isolation problem, you know?
55:34
Yeah. Yeah, because I think that
55:36
I think that people like you
55:38
and I, I think a lot
55:40
gets dumped on us, you know.
55:42
because I'm the, of all the
55:45
friends that I know that I've
55:47
known for a long while, I'm
55:49
the only one that has, that's
55:51
been very successful, not out of
55:53
my comic friends, but out of
55:55
my regular friends, and, and, and
55:57
it seems like I get... Just
56:00
I have to take in a lot of
56:02
stuff and I never knew how to get
56:04
rid of it. So I would just get
56:06
to the point where I was full and
56:08
I couldn't take anymore and that's when I
56:10
would isolate myself. Right. Too many people want
56:12
something. Too many people want something. That's why
56:15
I gravitate towards you is because I
56:17
know you don't want jack shit for
56:19
me except for me to be your
56:21
buddy. and let us be brothers in
56:23
comedy and whatever. And life. And life.
56:25
And so, you know, so that's really
56:27
good for me. Even today, you know,
56:29
that's what gets me out of the
56:31
house sometimes, you know. Oh, me too.
56:34
I mean, I love being home. I
56:36
love being home with my family hanging
56:38
out, but my comedy family, I
56:40
love being around too. And that's
56:42
what I feel like. I feel like
56:45
when, especially when comics are in town
56:47
that I don't get to see that
56:49
often. Who are those two actors that
56:51
were at the club the other
56:53
day? That was so much fun
56:55
to have them in there. It
56:58
was... Which night? Fock, I don't
57:00
know. We get a lot of
57:02
vistas. When Woody was there? No. Uh, oh... What's him?
57:04
Will Arnett and Brad Cooper? Yeah, Brad Cooper and... Well, it was
57:06
fun to have them in the green room because, you know, we,
57:08
we, we, we, we, we, we, we all, we're all around each
57:10
other all the time. It was fun to have a new people
57:12
in there with the, with the stories we've never heard. Oh, I
57:14
wasn't there for that one. Yeah, it was, it was cool as
57:16
shit, you know, just them hanging out, you know, good guys, you
57:18
know, what he was, you weren't here when what he was here?
57:20
No. Oh, oh my God, he was so much fun. Oh, he
57:22
was so much fun. He was so much fun. He was so
57:24
much fun. He was so much fun. He was so much fun.
57:26
He was so much fun. He was so much fun. He's so much fun. He's
57:28
so much fun. He's so much fun. He's so much fun. He's so much
57:30
fun. He's so much fun. He's so much fun. He's so much fun. He
57:32
Did he do your show? No, he
57:35
did my show, but then that
57:37
was nights before that and he
57:39
just wanted to come to the club.
57:41
He's been to the club a couple
57:43
of times now. Harrelson? Yeah. Oh,
57:45
I didn't know that. Yeah, he's
57:48
just been hanging out. Fuck, I
57:50
always wanted to meet that. Oh, I
57:52
always wanted to meet that. Oh,
57:54
he's so nice. We just all
57:56
hung out in the green room
57:58
and he was just like... So
58:00
easy. He's just a genuine dude. He
58:02
don't even have a phone. You can't
58:04
even get a hold of him. Really?
58:06
Yeah, he don't have a phone. Doesn't
58:09
do email. Fuck you. Oh shit. Yeah,
58:11
he's like a, got an assistant that
58:13
handles everything. Yeah, it's probably a freeing
58:15
thing. You know, it's just be, just
58:17
stop. Just stop. Leave me alone. Right?
58:20
You know. Well, I don't answer emails
58:22
anyway. But it's also like, let me
58:24
know what I actually, let me think
58:26
about what I think about things instead
58:28
of being inundated by all these other
58:31
people's thoughts constantly all day long, which
58:33
is valuable. It's good to get other
58:35
people's perspectives on things. I think it
58:37
enriches you, but at a certain point,
58:39
Tom, become captive to it. And I
58:41
think there's just too many people that
58:44
are captive to other people's thoughts. I
58:46
think so too, that's why I'm so
58:48
close-minded. I really am. I'm truly close-minded
58:50
and I think you're open-minded and I
58:52
struggle with that because just letting people
58:55
pour information into my head, you know,
58:57
I just tend to avoid it. I
58:59
am engaged, you know, in that I
59:01
do follow things closely and not the
59:03
stock market, but everything else. That's been
59:06
a little... Don't follow the stock market
59:08
right now. It's so baffling. It's so
59:10
crazy, like what is going on? Like
59:12
the whole world's mad at us? Trump's
59:14
playing golf and in between swings. He's
59:17
on the phone with presidents of countries.
59:19
We're gonna need more money! Yeah, that's
59:21
what somebody told me the other day.
59:23
Is he playing checkers? Is he playing
59:25
chess? He's playing golf. He's playing golf.
59:28
Like what does that mean? Everybody wants
59:30
to think there's some like grand plan
59:32
to it. Well, think the grand plan
59:34
is, look... You know, we remember back
59:36
when the, was it the 92 elections
59:38
when Ross Perot was in? So when
59:41
Ross Perot laid out what happened? Do
59:43
you remember during that debate? out what
59:45
happened with the tariffs so that like
59:47
they when we try to sell stuff
59:49
over there we get a high tariff
59:52
it's like a 35% tariff but they
59:54
don't get tariffs when it comes over
59:56
here it's not the same it's not
59:58
like you know you guys there's a
1:00:00
tax on everybody if you want to
1:00:03
sell your goods to buy American products
1:00:05
if you want to sell your products
1:00:07
in America we get a tax that
1:00:09
tax goes to the fucking grid or
1:00:11
whatever the hell they're fixing with it
1:00:14
right Rossboro was laying it out like
1:00:16
this is how all the jobs went
1:00:18
to Mexico because have you ever seen
1:00:20
that Jamie? It's it's see if you
1:00:22
could find it. It's a great speech
1:00:25
because Ross when he talked about the
1:00:27
giant sucking sound. Yes, you actually mentioned
1:00:29
that earlier in the podcast. Yes, that's
1:00:31
it. That's it. That's funny. Did you
1:00:33
just see that recently or something? No,
1:00:36
I just remember it. Oh boy, the
1:00:38
giant. He would have been a great
1:00:40
president. He would have been a great
1:00:42
president. big ears, you know, and he
1:00:44
didn't come across well on TV. He
1:00:46
was an independent and nobody was voting
1:00:49
for independent. By the way, they changed
1:00:51
the whole way debates work after this
1:00:53
because it used to be if you
1:00:55
got 5% of the vote in the
1:00:57
primary that you could be a part
1:01:00
of the presidential debates. And that's not
1:01:02
the case anymore. It was 5% in
1:01:04
a poll. I forget what the number
1:01:06
was that you had to reach, but
1:01:08
it wasn't a high threshold. And then
1:01:11
you could be a part of the
1:01:13
debate. And they changed the shit out
1:01:15
of that after this, because Ross Perot
1:01:17
tanked it. They thought H.W. was going
1:01:19
to go for a second term. And
1:01:22
meanwhile, Ross Perot fucked it up, because
1:01:24
a lot of people that would have
1:01:26
voted for Bush, voted for Ross, voted
1:01:28
for Ross, and the people that were
1:01:30
already going to vote for Clinton, voted
1:01:33
for Clinton, voted for Clinton, and voted
1:01:35
for Clinton, and voted for Clinton. And
1:01:37
you can move your factory south of
1:01:39
the border, pay a dollar an hour
1:01:41
for labor, hire a young 25, that's
1:01:43
assumed you've been in business for a
1:01:46
long time, you've got a mature workforce,
1:01:48
pay a dollar an hour for your
1:01:50
labor, have no health care, that's the
1:01:52
most expensive single element making a car,
1:01:54
have no environmental controls, no pollution controls,
1:01:57
and no retirement, and you don't care
1:01:59
about anything but making it. money there
1:02:01
will be a giant sucking sound there.
1:02:03
There it is right there. If the
1:02:05
people send me to Washington the first
1:02:08
thing I'll do is study that 2000
1:02:10
page agreement and make sure it's a
1:02:12
two-way street. One last point here I've
1:02:14
called I've decided I was dumb and
1:02:16
didn't understand it so I call the
1:02:19
who's who of the folks who've been
1:02:21
around it. And I said, why won't
1:02:23
everybody go south? They said, we'll be
1:02:25
disruptive. I said, for how long? I
1:02:27
finally got them up for 12 to
1:02:30
15 years. And I said, well, how
1:02:32
does it stop being disruptive? And that
1:02:34
is when their jobs come up from
1:02:36
a dollar now to $6 an hour,
1:02:38
and ours go down to $6 an
1:02:41
hour, and then it's leveled again. But
1:02:43
in the meantime, you've wrecked the country
1:02:45
with these kinds of deals. Yeah, and
1:02:47
they did it all for money and
1:02:49
they did it all because they were
1:02:51
greedy. They were already rich. Right. And
1:02:54
if we had just gotten those motherfuckers
1:02:56
from Iowa, geez, as Christ, they'd have
1:02:58
smoothed the fuck out. They would have
1:03:00
said, oh, okay, okay, okay, let's make
1:03:02
America great again. I don't understand the
1:03:05
trade war with Canada, because if you
1:03:07
ever met a Canadian that had $35
1:03:09
in his pocket, no. they're all broke
1:03:11
they have $22 that's and they'll buy
1:03:13
you a beer you know I love
1:03:16
Canadians I've always yeah they're broke so
1:03:18
I have any money up there come
1:03:20
they don't have any money because it's
1:03:22
socialism you know they just they I
1:03:24
think it's a great place don't you
1:03:27
love Canada I love it well they
1:03:29
have socialized medicine but it's not it's
1:03:31
a capitalist society it is but socialized
1:03:33
medicine and it's expensive so they what
1:03:35
how much what percentage did Canadians pay
1:03:38
in taxes So I don't know. Let's
1:03:40
find that out. What is uh, what's
1:03:42
the Canadian tax rate? I know it's
1:03:44
higher than Americans. I know mine's a
1:03:46
bitch. And when you go over there
1:03:48
you have to pay taxes too. Like
1:03:51
if you do a gig. Yeah, you
1:03:53
have to pay taxes. Yeah, you pay
1:03:55
Canadian taxes. And you get paid in
1:03:57
Canadian dollars. I'm not going up there
1:03:59
much for shows. But you know. So
1:04:02
here it is Canadian Canada's top federal
1:04:04
income. tax rate is 33 percent, while
1:04:06
the U.S. is 37 percent. Right. However,
1:04:08
when combining federal provincial state taxes, Canadians
1:04:10
often face higher marginal rates across various
1:04:13
income levels. That's interesting, that there's only
1:04:15
33 percent, ours is 37. I thought
1:04:17
ours was lower than theirs. I thought
1:04:19
ours was 40. Well, it is when
1:04:21
you get to a certain tax bracket,
1:04:24
correct? Isn't it? Ours
1:04:26
changes when you get higher, right?
1:04:28
Yeah, it does. 33% on the
1:04:31
portion over $246,000. What's ours in
1:04:33
terms of like the highest tax
1:04:35
bracket? What's the highest US? Is
1:04:38
it 37? That's what it is?
1:04:40
What's really crazy to me is
1:04:42
when people say the rich should
1:04:44
pay more taxes. Okay, fine. But
1:04:47
where do you think that's going?
1:04:49
Where's that going? Where's the money
1:04:51
going? Is the money going to
1:04:54
the federal government? Do you think
1:04:56
they're good at it? Do you
1:04:58
think they're good at managing your
1:05:00
money? Have you paid attention to
1:05:03
all this shit? Elon's fucking uncovered.
1:05:05
37% is when you make over
1:05:07
$609,000 a year. That's you, motherfucker.
1:05:10
Well, that's me last month. This
1:05:12
is the thing. It's like, I'm
1:05:14
happy to pay tax if I
1:05:17
thought that they were doing a
1:05:19
great job. But it's just you
1:05:21
are being strong-armed into giving money
1:05:23
to people that do a really
1:05:26
shitty job of protecting your money
1:05:28
and investing it in the country.
1:05:30
It's a lot of it is
1:05:33
going to bureaucracy and bullshit and
1:05:35
a bunch of things that you
1:05:37
don't have any say in. If
1:05:39
you could like... Imagine
1:05:42
if you like pick what you, you
1:05:44
know, if you had like a whole
1:05:46
tax sheet, would you like your money
1:05:48
to go to? Would you like your
1:05:51
money to go to overthrowing governments? No.
1:05:53
Like, what if the federal government's budget
1:05:55
was entirely based on the will of
1:05:58
the people? Like, you get to choose.
1:06:00
Like, how much your money you want
1:06:02
to put into drone strikes? in Yemen.
1:06:04
I say I don't want zero of
1:06:07
my money going to that. You know,
1:06:09
how many, how much money do you
1:06:11
want to go to this or that
1:06:13
or clean water? Okay, clean water sounds
1:06:16
good. You know, how much infrastructure? If,
1:06:18
yeah, fix the streets. Well, I'm kind
1:06:20
of, I agree with you. And I've
1:06:23
just heard you say this, that everybody
1:06:25
should have access to health care and
1:06:27
education. 100%. The whole country. The whole
1:06:29
country. Everybody. That would rise us all
1:06:32
up. 100%. Less losers. That's how you
1:06:34
make America great. Less losers. Less losers.
1:06:36
Less losers. Less people that are saddled
1:06:39
down with a lifetime of debt because
1:06:41
they broke their leg. That's crazy. uh...
1:06:43
friends are all saddled with ninety thousand
1:06:45
dollars worth of fucking student loan debt
1:06:48
and uh... subsidized and my son was
1:06:50
lucky enough to that i had enough
1:06:52
money to pay for his you know
1:06:55
and uh... and so he doesn't have
1:06:57
that burden but god damn it nobody
1:06:59
should have that burden it for an
1:07:01
education and it's just a for-profit institution
1:07:04
that roped you into thinking that that
1:07:06
was necessary that you have to be
1:07:08
and by the way you can get
1:07:11
as good in education right now online
1:07:13
as is available anywhere on earth. If
1:07:15
you have the discipline, if you have
1:07:17
the discipline, yeah. That's what's so wild.
1:07:20
That's what's so fascinating about this time
1:07:22
is that it is basically obsolete and
1:07:24
yet people are still paying $70,000 a
1:07:26
year for it and more. Like what
1:07:29
is Harvard's yearly tuition, Jamie? What do
1:07:31
you guess? I was like, I eat
1:07:33
50. Yeah, at least 50. Imagine if
1:07:36
you're a middle class guy and you
1:07:38
got two kids and they do real
1:07:40
good and they don't have scholarships and
1:07:42
you got to pay for them? I
1:07:45
can't imagine. I mean I don't see
1:07:47
how people do it. I mean I
1:07:49
really don't. Oh boy, the total cost
1:07:52
of attendance including fees, housing and food
1:07:54
reaching around $82, $82,000. Undergraduate tuition is
1:07:56
$56, $56. $50 for a year. That's
1:07:58
a lot of money, man. Oof. That's
1:08:01
one year. Oof. And if you drop
1:08:03
out after one year, then you have
1:08:05
nothing and you're down 80 grand. But
1:08:08
if you make it through those four
1:08:10
years, now you're 200 grand in the
1:08:12
hole that you owe. And then you
1:08:14
have to get a job and then
1:08:17
you get a job that pays 50.
1:08:19
And you're like, what? Yeah. Oh my
1:08:21
God. I'll never pay this off. And
1:08:23
then you have to throw a couple
1:08:26
of kids on top of that and...
1:08:28
You know some wild, there's people out
1:08:30
there, their Social Security is getting docked
1:08:33
because they owe student loans. So that
1:08:35
take money out of your social security
1:08:37
to pay for your student loans because
1:08:39
the student loans is the one thing
1:08:42
you can never escape bankrupt It's so
1:08:44
crazy. It's cruel. It doesn't make any
1:08:46
sense. You're saddling an 18 year old
1:08:49
with the burden of a lifetime. Harvard
1:08:51
were off a free tuition for families
1:08:53
earning $200,000 or less a year. Oh,
1:08:55
that's great. That's a new thing. Offering
1:08:58
it to who? You can't even get
1:09:00
into Harvard, but it's still good. will
1:09:02
be free for students and families earning
1:09:05
$200,000 or less a year college announced
1:09:07
Monday. Harvard has long sought to open
1:09:09
our doors to the most talented students
1:09:11
no matter their financial circumstances. That's great.
1:09:14
Yeah, it is. That's great. I just
1:09:16
don't know if it's necessary. I think
1:09:18
it's probably necessary for kids to go
1:09:21
to school just to like a passage,
1:09:23
a rite of passage. Like I think
1:09:25
ceremonies and rites of passages are missing
1:09:27
in our society. And especially... I could
1:09:30
speak for young men, they don't know
1:09:32
when they're a man. Like, am I
1:09:34
a man yet? Like, there's some men
1:09:36
that, you know, in their 30s, their
1:09:39
dad's still yelling at them. Right? I
1:09:41
mean, it's like, when am I, when
1:09:43
am I, when am I an equal?
1:09:46
When am I, you know, we don't
1:09:48
have a ceremony, you know, in other
1:09:50
tribal societies and all throughout history, people
1:09:52
have had rituals, rights of passage rituals,
1:09:55
where people feel like, okay. We fucking
1:09:57
made it, you know. I give a
1:09:59
black belt ceremony, you got your black
1:10:02
belt. All right. I made it, you
1:10:04
know, I'm in. But, you know, so
1:10:06
I think there's a benefit in that
1:10:08
society. But then you gotta like unlearn
1:10:11
all this shit, your fucking crazy professors
1:10:13
are telling you. Did you go to
1:10:15
college? Yes, I went to you mass
1:10:18
Boston. Oh, wow, that's good school. Yeah,
1:10:20
right. Easy to get into. I only
1:10:22
went because I didn't want people thinking
1:10:24
I was a loser. That's the only
1:10:27
reason why I went. I just wasted
1:10:29
my time there. I went for three
1:10:31
years. Just wasting my time taking class
1:10:33
so I could tell people I was
1:10:36
going to college. Oh, I didn't waste
1:10:38
any time. I got kicked out of
1:10:40
high school in the 10th grade. So,
1:10:43
you know, my mind is an open
1:10:45
book there. A lot of the pages
1:10:47
aren't filled in. And I, you know
1:10:49
what, and I always kind of, I
1:10:52
regret. I regret. I regret that a
1:10:54
little bit, you know, that I didn't
1:10:56
go to college, that I didn't... What
1:10:59
do you regret about it? Well, just...
1:11:01
You know, well, number one, I think
1:11:03
I'd be smarter. But I don't know
1:11:05
what it is. And I've made it
1:11:08
just fine with what I've had, you
1:11:10
know, and I've got attention deficit disorder
1:11:12
and all these things. It really kept
1:11:15
me from doing traditional school work very
1:11:17
well. I'm not even sure that's real.
1:11:19
Attention deficit disorder? Yeah, I don't think
1:11:21
it's real. You don't? No. Let me
1:11:24
change your mind. I think there's a
1:11:26
lot of people that aren't interested in
1:11:28
a lot of things. But when they're
1:11:30
interested in it, when they say attention
1:11:33
deficit disorder, why are those guys so
1:11:35
good at video games? Like why are
1:11:37
they so good at things that aren't
1:11:40
school? I think it's just, I think
1:11:42
the humor, I think we could... categorize
1:11:44
it into a bunch of different like
1:11:46
disorders and problems. But I think a
1:11:49
lot of that is a way to
1:11:51
get you hooked on some sort of
1:11:53
pharmaceutical drug that's gonna fix whatever problem
1:11:56
you have that doesn't allow you to
1:11:58
sit in class and listen to some
1:12:00
boring. for fucking six hours. You got
1:12:02
no problem writing jokes, Ron White. You
1:12:05
got no problem performing. It's not like
1:12:07
there's not a thing that you can
1:12:09
excel at. You can pay attention. We're
1:12:12
on stage. I don't know. I don't
1:12:14
know about that. I think stand-up comedy.
1:12:16
Was the answer to every problem I
1:12:18
had no you know because that's what
1:12:21
I was good at you're a comic
1:12:23
you're you are a comic like that's
1:12:25
who you what you're supposed to do
1:12:28
but let me give you an example
1:12:30
That's my point is that there's a
1:12:32
lot of different like functions in society.
1:12:34
There's a lot of different roles in
1:12:37
society. I think they probably tagged ADD
1:12:39
to people that don't have it But
1:12:41
I know that I still have it
1:12:43
so if let's going to put together
1:12:46
a ceiling fan and hang it in
1:12:48
my roof, which I'm not. I could
1:12:50
no more do that than the man
1:12:53
and the moon without an adderall. If
1:12:55
I take an adderall, I'll read the
1:12:57
directions, I'll put the whole thing together
1:12:59
and hang it on, no problem. Without
1:13:02
it, I dare at it, I've tried.
1:13:04
You just keep, you're bored. You need
1:13:06
excitement. You just, you're a certain type
1:13:09
of dude who needs a certain type
1:13:11
of stimulation, which is why you like
1:13:13
the high wire act of performing live.
1:13:15
I don't think it's a disorder. I
1:13:18
think it's a superpower. Ah! I do.
1:13:20
Well, I like the sound of that.
1:13:22
I do. I think the ability to
1:13:25
pay attention to shit that's not interesting,
1:13:27
is not a disorder. Which is, you
1:13:29
know what's interesting and what's not. You
1:13:32
know to this like maybe I have
1:13:34
it too because this day when I'm
1:13:36
talking to someone they're saying something really
1:13:39
boring I go I want to run
1:13:41
away right you don't you don't hear
1:13:43
a word that's coming out of their
1:13:45
mouth and I just can't it's like
1:13:47
I just want to get out I'm
1:13:50
the same way that doesn't mean I
1:13:52
have a disorder I don't think I
1:13:54
have a disorder because I'm talking to
1:13:56
you I got no problem at all
1:13:59
well let's let's get two ceiling fans
1:14:01
out here yeah I'm sure not that
1:14:03
good at putting together a ceiling fan
1:14:05
either. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I
1:14:07
could do it. You just follow the
1:14:10
directions. You could follow directions. It's not
1:14:12
hard. It's just you wouldn't enjoy it.
1:14:14
But if there was something that you
1:14:16
enjoyed doing, like learning how to swing
1:14:19
a golf club better, then you could
1:14:21
pay attention. I do pay attention to
1:14:23
that. That's all I'm saying. I think
1:14:25
there's roles in this world. There's different
1:14:27
personalities fit perfectly in philosophy. Engineering, different
1:14:30
personalities. It's like, you just got to
1:14:32
find out what... what vibes with the
1:14:34
way you think and we all think
1:14:36
differently. We all have different backgrounds, we
1:14:39
all have different biology. You know, you
1:14:41
just got to find what is the
1:14:43
thing that like sinks up with the
1:14:45
way your mind works. And the problem
1:14:47
with traditional education is there, it was
1:14:50
designed by the Rockefeller family. Like the
1:14:52
school system in this country was designed
1:14:54
to create better factory workers. And soldiers
1:14:56
and to get them real early. That's
1:14:59
why they want to start you at
1:15:01
five because they figured out when you
1:15:03
start people at 12 or 13, they
1:15:05
already got their ideas of what the
1:15:07
world is and how the world works.
1:15:10
And I'm not fucking shooting somebody for
1:15:12
you. You know, so what they do
1:15:14
is they get you when you're five
1:15:16
and when you're five they can kind
1:15:19
of indoctrinate you separate you from your
1:15:21
parents most of the day while your
1:15:23
parents are at work. And so that's
1:15:25
like most of your day you have
1:15:27
other people other than your parents telling
1:15:30
you how the world is, how the
1:15:32
world works, what's happening in your life
1:15:34
and what you should be doing. And
1:15:36
that's kind of crazy because a lot
1:15:39
of those people suck. I remember thinking
1:15:41
that when I was a kid, like
1:15:43
thinking that how strange it is that
1:15:45
people that I don't respect and I
1:15:47
don't enjoy are the ones that are
1:15:50
in control of communicating to me most
1:15:52
of the day. I remember very clearly
1:15:54
thinking that when I was a little
1:15:56
kid, like 10, 11 years old. Yeah.
1:15:59
You know, I know that when I
1:16:01
was a kid, I used to have
1:16:03
this history teacher who was also a
1:16:05
PE coach. He had something as intriguing
1:16:07
as history to teach me, but I
1:16:10
could not listen to him, talk. So
1:16:12
he couldn't even make American history interesting.
1:16:14
But a good teacher could have done
1:16:16
it. A good teacher could have roped
1:16:19
me in to what was going on
1:16:21
and the story of it and how
1:16:23
it affects my life and the lives
1:16:25
of my parents and my grandparents, how
1:16:28
it all went down. That's an interesting
1:16:30
story. But if you're a dull fucking
1:16:32
assistant coach basketball and now you've got
1:16:34
to fuck one period of history and
1:16:36
you have a monotone voice and I'm
1:16:39
just bzzz out of it, I imagine
1:16:41
what it would have been like to
1:16:43
have access to wonderful educators. Right, but
1:16:45
if you were listening to like, you
1:16:48
ever listen to Dan Carlin's podcast? No.
1:16:50
He's got this podcast called Hardcore History.
1:16:52
It's incredible. It's amazing. It's such a
1:16:54
good podcast. And this guy will like
1:16:56
lay out the events of World War
1:16:59
I in a way that you will
1:17:01
hang on every word and you'll park
1:17:03
your car. Like if you got to
1:17:05
go somewhere, you'll keep your car running
1:17:08
because you just want to listen to
1:17:10
where this is going. Wow. Yeah. So
1:17:12
if a guy like that was teaching
1:17:14
you history, that would have been great.
1:17:16
I mean, I think I would have
1:17:19
been engaged. You probably would have been
1:17:21
a historian. Yeah, making nothing. This, he's,
1:17:23
Dan Carlin's doing well. But that's, um,
1:17:25
someone who loves what they do. And
1:17:28
that's the difference. School is this weird
1:17:30
indoctrination fucking ritual that we all have
1:17:32
to go through. And then we all
1:17:34
have to feel real bad about ourselves
1:17:36
because we don't want to be there
1:17:39
and we're not doing good at it.
1:17:41
I felt like a fucking complete loser
1:17:43
in school. I never felt like I
1:17:45
was supposed to be there. I never
1:17:48
felt like I was smart. You
1:17:51
know, but I remember Like Like
1:17:53
finally when I realized that
1:17:55
I was never like what? But
1:17:57
I was going to school for
1:18:00
three years, when I went
1:18:02
to college for three years, when
1:18:04
I finally was like, what am
1:18:07
I doing? I got to
1:18:09
stop doing this. It's just wasting
1:18:11
time. Because that's all I
1:18:14
was doing. It's just completely
1:18:16
wasting time. It was like a
1:18:18
huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I
1:18:20
could just go, eh, this is not for
1:18:22
me. Well, the one thing is
1:18:24
I didn't waste that time. of
1:18:26
how the world works, if I'd
1:18:29
understood world history, you know, I
1:18:31
mean, those kinds of things. I
1:18:33
just wish I was, you know,
1:18:35
I wish I had an education.
1:18:37
But what I would do with
1:18:40
it, I have no idea, I'd
1:18:42
still do stand up, so. Yeah,
1:18:44
well, hopefully. And I wouldn't be
1:18:46
any fucking funny. Jesus Christ, imagine
1:18:48
if you did, imagine you did
1:18:51
go down a different road, that
1:18:53
would have sucked. I would have
1:18:55
sucked. I was broke and
1:18:57
I had nothing and
1:18:59
I was unimpressive and
1:19:01
my in-laws bought us a
1:19:04
garage door opener. So I had
1:19:06
a garage door opener.
1:19:08
Now you're gonna think
1:19:10
this is really fucking
1:19:12
weird. I used to
1:19:14
wear that garage door opener
1:19:17
on my belt so people
1:19:19
would think I had a beeper.
1:19:23
I just hang it, clip it right
1:19:26
there on my belt. People don't know
1:19:28
about the beeper. Yeah, yeah. A lot
1:19:30
of people listening right now, like I
1:19:32
have no idea what that is. Ron
1:19:34
and I have been through all the
1:19:37
various stages of technological inter-
1:19:39
Wizardry. Yeah, but the intertwining
1:19:41
of our in our lives,
1:19:43
the way, you know, the first thing was
1:19:45
the beeper. Like you would get a
1:19:48
beeper, like my friend Johnny had one,
1:19:50
you could page people, and he would call
1:19:52
the number. Hey, what's up? You're stopping a
1:19:54
phone booth. Now that what a phone booth
1:19:56
is. And you have to like put quarters
1:19:58
in the phone book and look. at the
1:20:00
beeper and do do do do do
1:20:02
do do do do do do do
1:20:04
do do hey what's up hey what's
1:20:06
going on where you at and you'd
1:20:09
have a conversation with someone that's how
1:20:11
you get a hold of them you
1:20:13
have to page them right yeah Joey
1:20:15
Diaz had a pager forever Joey Diaz
1:20:17
had a pager deep into the like
1:20:19
maybe the 2000s wow not kidding yeah
1:20:21
definitely in the 90s he had a
1:20:23
pager Because I remember sometimes he would
1:20:26
go AWOL and I'd be paged and
1:20:28
I'm like, where are you? Like one
1:20:30
time we were doing a gig in
1:20:32
Jersey, we're doing rascals in East Orange
1:20:34
and he fucking never showed up. And
1:20:36
I finally got a hold on the
1:20:38
phone and he's like, I'm not going
1:20:41
to lie to you dog, I never
1:20:43
left Vegas. I never left Vegas. I
1:20:45
never left Vegas. I never left Vegas.
1:20:47
It was just having a good time.
1:20:49
But that's how you got a hold
1:20:51
of him. You'd have to page him
1:20:53
That was it and then when you
1:20:55
got then one day he got a
1:20:58
phone and when he got a phone
1:21:00
you better not fucking text him if
1:21:02
you text him. He'll yell at you
1:21:04
like Brian Redband used to text him.
1:21:06
You go stop fucking texting me And
1:21:08
then Joey eventually got an iPhone and
1:21:10
Brian got a text from him one
1:21:13
day. He's texting. He's like he fucking
1:21:15
texted me now. Now we'll text you
1:21:17
But he doesn't like to text. How's
1:21:19
he doing? He's good. He's coming down
1:21:21
soon. He's going to be here in
1:21:23
a couple weeks. Good, good. He's coming
1:21:25
real soon, right? When is he here?
1:21:28
Two weeks. Okay. Yeah. He would, uh,
1:21:30
he only wants to talk to you
1:21:32
on the phone. I go, why? Why
1:21:34
don't you like talking to people? He
1:21:36
goes, I'm insecure, I want to hear
1:21:38
your voice, I want to tell you
1:21:40
I love you, I love you, I
1:21:42
love you. Yeah. I get it, I
1:21:45
get it, I get it, I get
1:21:47
it, I get it, I get it,
1:21:49
I get it, I get it, I
1:21:51
get it, I get it, I get
1:21:53
it, I get it, I get it,
1:21:55
I get it, I get it, I
1:21:57
get it, I get it, I get
1:22:00
it, I get it, I get it,
1:22:02
I get it, I get it, I
1:22:04
get it, I get it, I get
1:22:06
it, I get it Yeah, he calls
1:22:08
me ever once in a while just
1:22:10
to say hello. Just to say hi.
1:22:12
Yeah, just to say hi. Yeah, just
1:22:14
to say hi. He's like the... Just
1:22:17
checking on you. He might be the
1:22:19
number one dude that I just talked
1:22:21
to mostly on the phone. Very few
1:22:23
text messages between me and Joey. Other
1:22:25
than I'll ask him like, hey, is
1:22:27
April 22nd good? Yeah, we're good, okay.
1:22:29
See you then. So is he going
1:22:32
to come down to do sets? He's
1:22:34
coming down to do sets. He's getting
1:22:36
ready. He's going to do a special.
1:22:38
So he's doing a bunch of shows.
1:22:40
He's got a residency. I think he's
1:22:42
doing it in Philly. Is he doing
1:22:44
it in Philly? We'll find out when
1:22:46
he gets here. But he's doing a
1:22:49
residency. He's done a few of these
1:22:51
residences where he shows up like every
1:22:53
weekend. His shows places people love him.
1:22:55
He did he opened up for Tom
1:22:57
in Mass Square Garden Tom said when
1:22:59
he went on stage They went fucking
1:23:01
ape shit. How cool is that? They
1:23:04
went ape shit because they didn't know
1:23:06
he was coming, you know And then
1:23:08
also and ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
1:23:10
Joey Diaz. He's like the Snuffelofagus. He's
1:23:12
a mystical creature, right. He is he
1:23:14
is. There's nothing like him. Nothing like
1:23:16
him completely unique human being you know
1:23:18
It was fun to watch him just
1:23:21
stomp the fuck out of the fucking
1:23:23
room at the store man. He just
1:23:25
beat the shit out of those crowds.
1:23:27
Some of the sets that I've seen
1:23:29
him have in the O.R. I think
1:23:31
it's the funniest thing I've ever seen
1:23:33
in my life. I've seen everybody. I've
1:23:36
seen everyone. Great, great, great comedians. So
1:23:38
I love to death. And I'll watch
1:23:40
them every time they perform. But... I
1:23:42
think Joey hit RPM's that nobody hit.
1:23:44
He hit these moments. Oh, I saw
1:23:46
him wind him up, man. Just wind
1:23:48
him up. And so people say, like,
1:23:50
who's the funniest guy ever? I'm like,
1:23:53
come, man, I don't, you know, there's
1:23:55
guys with great insight, like Patrice had
1:23:57
great insight. He was really hilarious, but
1:23:59
he also had like great insight. Joey
1:24:01
Dia, you ain't getting no insight out
1:24:03
of Joey Diaz. No. He's giving you,
1:24:05
he's rock'em, sock'em, robots. He's here to
1:24:08
fuck you up. He used to have
1:24:10
this bit about Terry Cruz. Like, and
1:24:12
Terry Cruz accused some guy of grabbing
1:24:14
his dick. You know, and he had
1:24:16
this bit about Terry Cruz in the
1:24:18
underwear commercial. Oh my God. It was
1:24:20
so funny. You would be in the
1:24:23
back of the room, just barely, you
1:24:25
couldn't breathe. Everyone, like, I was looking
1:24:27
around, people were falling out of their
1:24:29
chairs. Like, they couldn't handle it. And
1:24:31
he was on fire, just purple, fucking
1:24:33
red in the face, screaming and yelling.
1:24:35
Like, oh my God. Oh my God.
1:24:37
That's just some of the first sets
1:24:40
I saw you do at the store
1:24:42
and when you were doing that bit
1:24:44
where you were standing on top of
1:24:46
the stool. Yeah, fucking. Yeah, fucking. I
1:24:48
just remember just how just Dick slapped
1:24:50
those fucking crowds. I'm like, God damn
1:24:52
it, he's good at this. It's a
1:24:55
fun job, bro. It is the funnest
1:24:57
job. We're so lucky. We're so lucky.
1:24:59
We're so lucky in so many ways.
1:25:01
Just it doesn't make sense. When I
1:25:03
think about a life without stand-up, it
1:25:05
makes me nervous to even think about
1:25:07
what it is. But we almost did
1:25:09
it, right? Yeah. I mean, when we
1:25:12
all went through that with COVID, I
1:25:14
mean, you were basically saying you were
1:25:16
done. I thought it was done. Yeah.
1:25:18
I didn't know I could anymore. It
1:25:20
was, halfway through every set I couldn't
1:25:22
wait for it to be over. Wow.
1:25:24
And now, I go on stage and
1:25:27
I have this whole new gratitude. for
1:25:29
these crowds, you know, that are still
1:25:31
there, waiting, bigger than ever. My shows
1:25:33
sell out faster than they ever have.
1:25:35
Isn't that amazing? Part of it is
1:25:37
just because there's less of them, I
1:25:39
guess, but also it's because of my
1:25:41
friends, you know, like the word gets
1:25:44
out, you know, you guys didn't let
1:25:46
me die. Yeah. Yeah, we knew, I
1:25:48
mean... I tell everybody, but it's true,
1:25:50
like, you're one of the reasons why
1:25:52
we decided to buy a club. Because
1:25:54
you grabbed me when you got off
1:25:56
stage, that first time you had been
1:25:59
on stage at like eight months, and
1:26:01
you grabbed me by the shows, whatever
1:26:03
the fuck we have. to do, we're
1:26:05
gonna keep doing theirs. Yeah, and we
1:26:07
did. I'll never forget that moment. I
1:26:09
was like, okay, we're gonna do it,
1:26:11
because you're gonna get that fucking club
1:26:13
open, like, we're gonna do it. I
1:26:16
was already thinking about doing it very
1:26:18
seriously, because I realized like early on
1:26:20
coming here, I was like, we need
1:26:22
a place. We can't just be working
1:26:24
out of these rock and roll clubs.
1:26:26
They're not set up right? No. You
1:26:28
know, no, there's a difference. I don't
1:26:31
even like to do so. I don't
1:26:33
even like to do sets other places.
1:26:35
That's really what's wrong with the with
1:26:37
the mother ship. It'll spoil your fucking
1:26:39
ass, you know, with great crowds and
1:26:41
perfect acoustics and an amazing sound system
1:26:43
and you know, just and then when
1:26:45
you move over to another room, which
1:26:48
I rarely do, do another set in
1:26:50
town, I did one of the other
1:26:52
couple months ago and I was like,
1:26:54
this sucks. If you guys want to
1:26:56
find me, I'll be down at some
1:26:58
other ship. And, uh, but, uh... Yeah,
1:27:00
we did it, Ron. Yeah. We actually
1:27:03
did it, you know? It's interesting, when
1:27:05
you look back at those conversations we
1:27:07
used to have, like we're in the
1:27:09
Vulcan, hanging out in the green room,
1:27:11
talking about what the club's gonna be
1:27:13
like. Yeah. It seemed like a pipe
1:27:15
dream. And I know a lot of
1:27:17
people probably did think it was fake.
1:27:20
There's a lot of people in LA.
1:27:22
It's all bullshit, you guys move down
1:27:24
there for no fucking reason. Because the
1:27:26
thing about you taking a, making a
1:27:28
choice, that's a scar. Yeah. If the
1:27:30
thing about you making a choice to
1:27:32
go and, you know, start something up
1:27:35
and the people that are left behind,
1:27:37
they kind of want you to fail.
1:27:39
Especially the haters. Right. They want you
1:27:41
to. So Tony was like encountering that
1:27:43
all the time. These people that just
1:27:45
for whatever reason, they don't want other
1:27:47
people to... They don't want to ever
1:27:50
people to escape the bomb that they're
1:27:52
in, you know It's like people from
1:27:54
the neighborhood that don't want you to
1:27:56
leave and when you do leave. Oh,
1:27:58
look who's back right People
1:28:00
for whatever reason people really like
1:28:02
when people fail, you know, it's
1:28:04
a gross feeling It's a gross
1:28:06
thing, but it's super super common
1:28:08
Looked for a joint. Yeah Jesus
1:28:11
Christ wrong, don't you know we're
1:28:13
in Texas You know, um? That's
1:28:15
the first thing they got to
1:28:17
fix is make this shit legal
1:28:19
in the whole country. It's so
1:28:21
crazy that what's stopping them oh
1:28:23
I don't know I don't understand
1:28:25
it. I mean, it's a political
1:28:27
beach ball. It's one of those
1:28:29
things that just gets tossed around
1:28:31
that I think is good for
1:28:33
the establishment that runs the country.
1:28:35
It's good to keep it up
1:28:37
in the air. Like, I'll promise
1:28:39
when I get in office, gays
1:28:41
will be able to marry. Yay!
1:28:43
And then they're talking about, there's
1:28:45
people that want to take that
1:28:47
off the table, you know? It's
1:28:49
like there's a bunch of those
1:28:51
things, like Roe v. Way, that
1:28:53
was a big one. There's a
1:28:55
bunch of these cultural beach balls
1:28:57
that are very important issues to
1:28:59
some people and they get exploited
1:29:01
by politicians as a way to
1:29:03
promise you this and promise you
1:29:05
that but sure, but it never,
1:29:07
nothing ever gets fixed. Nothing ever
1:29:09
changes, you know? Well, it's changing
1:29:11
a little, you know, I didn't
1:29:13
think marijuana would ever be legal
1:29:15
in Oklahoma. I thought they'd be
1:29:17
behind us, you know, but what
1:29:19
do you go there now? It's
1:29:21
billboards on every fucking street corner.
1:29:23
Come get your weed, you know.
1:29:25
New Mexico just authorized silicibon therapy.
1:29:27
Really? Yep. People with depression, I
1:29:29
think depression and anxiety, is that
1:29:31
what it's for? Is that where
1:29:33
they're using it? Those terms which
1:29:35
apply to basically everybody right everybody
1:29:37
everybody's had some depression and some
1:29:39
anxiety They go now you can
1:29:41
get some mushrooms and figure your
1:29:43
life out. Oh, maybe I'll give
1:29:45
it a try Yeah, it's just
1:29:47
the problem is federally it's still
1:29:49
not legal and that which is
1:29:51
it's so dumb. It's so dumb.
1:29:54
You know, and I don't think
1:29:56
it's gonna change, unfortunately. I don't
1:29:58
think I think Trump is too
1:30:00
busy with all these other issues.
1:30:02
I don't think he's interested in
1:30:04
that. So co-sponsor said, here goes,
1:30:06
the bill would establish an advisory
1:30:08
board treatment equity fund and research
1:30:10
fund as well as remove Silesibin
1:30:12
from the Controlled Substances Act to
1:30:14
protect qualified and registered patients, clinicians,
1:30:16
and producers according to a news
1:30:18
release jointly, a news release. released
1:30:20
jointly by the office of the
1:30:22
Senate and the House Democrats. So
1:30:24
this is what the Democrats have
1:30:26
over the Republicans. Freedom to explore
1:30:28
your consciousness. Republicans for whatever reason,
1:30:30
they shy away from that. It
1:30:32
doesn't fit with their conservative mindset
1:30:34
of what you should... It used
1:30:36
to be it didn't fit... Freedom
1:30:38
of speech didn't fit with their...
1:30:40
mindset and now the republicans are
1:30:42
all about freedom of speech because
1:30:44
they realize the consequences of it
1:30:46
during the last election cycle you
1:30:48
know uh... when things get censored
1:30:50
and when you have a town
1:30:52
square that's curated by not just
1:30:54
the big tech companies but also
1:30:56
by the federal government itself, things
1:30:58
can get weird when you're trying
1:31:00
to access the truth. You want
1:31:02
to know what is actually going
1:31:04
on when certain stories have actually
1:31:06
been suppressed for the news because
1:31:08
the federal government deems them misinformation,
1:31:10
even if they turn out to
1:31:12
be true. That's not good. And
1:31:14
so because of that, the right
1:31:16
is supporting freedom of speech, which
1:31:18
I think is fucking great. That's
1:31:20
what we all should be supporting.
1:31:22
But we all should be... supporting
1:31:24
the freedom to expand your consciousness
1:31:26
and people have been doing it
1:31:28
in certain ways for thousands and
1:31:30
thousands of years and you don't
1:31:32
know better if you haven't done
1:31:35
it if you haven't done it
1:31:37
yourself in your past judgment on
1:31:39
people that have you're not qualified
1:31:41
if you if you want to
1:31:43
go you know do a cell
1:31:45
Simon session like a heavy what
1:31:47
Terrence would call a heroic dose
1:31:49
you want to do that and
1:31:51
then talk shit okay yeah but
1:31:53
until that because the thing is
1:31:55
like it would preclude you from
1:31:57
doing the things that you're doing
1:31:59
Know this, okay? If you are
1:32:01
a fucking rampant capitalist and all
1:32:03
you give a fuck about is
1:32:05
your hedge fund and all you
1:32:07
give a fuck about is the
1:32:09
stock market and numbers and buying
1:32:11
this exclusive that and that exclusive
1:32:13
this and getting tickets to this
1:32:15
exclusive thing and all you're about
1:32:17
is like status and numbers, it
1:32:19
will fuck that whole thing sideways.
1:32:21
You won't be able to take
1:32:23
any of that seriously anymore. But
1:32:25
that's good. It's good for you.
1:32:27
You're not supposed to be taking
1:32:29
that seriously. If you've got half
1:32:31
a billion dollars and you're still
1:32:33
scrambling to try to make more
1:32:35
money, like pause. You're 67 years
1:32:37
old. You're gonna die if you're
1:32:39
lucky in 30 years. If you're
1:32:41
so lucky to hit 97. Oh
1:32:43
yeah. 30 years happened so quick
1:32:45
man. We've been here for five,
1:32:47
Ron. I know. We've been here
1:32:49
for, you were here for six.
1:32:51
You were here, you were patient
1:32:53
zero. I always say, you were
1:32:55
patient zero in the Austin invasion.
1:32:57
Because I remember calling you, it
1:32:59
was a 2018 when you moved
1:33:01
here? 17. I remember calling you,
1:33:03
going, what are you doing down
1:33:05
there? Like, we missed you at
1:33:07
the store. I fucking love it
1:33:09
down here, middle of the country.
1:33:11
If I want to fly, I
1:33:13
fly anywhere real quick. People are
1:33:15
nice, foods great. And I was
1:33:18
like, can I live in Texas.
1:33:20
I started thinking about it then.
1:33:22
But then when the pandemic hit
1:33:24
and I knew you were here
1:33:26
and then I had some friends
1:33:28
in LA that were also real
1:33:30
sketched out by all of it,
1:33:32
they all wound up moving somewhere
1:33:34
else. A couple of them moved,
1:33:36
well two families that I was
1:33:38
real good friends with, they moved
1:33:40
to Dallas and then another good
1:33:42
family friend moved to Vegas and
1:33:44
then another one just. decided to
1:33:46
stay and we all came out
1:33:48
here together you know as groups
1:33:50
friends and when we were looking
1:33:52
around Austin I was like fuck
1:33:54
Ron White lives here I could
1:33:56
live here that was like one
1:33:58
of the first things I thought
1:34:00
I thought if Ron lives here
1:34:02
at least have Ron yeah I
1:34:04
got a friend yeah and I
1:34:06
was like okay I can't do
1:34:08
stand up right now anyway but
1:34:10
then as soon as I move
1:34:12
Tony's like fuck it I'm moving
1:34:14
to and then Segura's like I'm
1:34:16
in I'm in I was like
1:34:18
holy shit And then Brian Simpson
1:34:20
came out real early and I
1:34:22
didn't really know Brian well at
1:34:24
all. until Tom introduced me to
1:34:26
him. Tom was like, dude, you
1:34:28
gotta meet this guy. He's so
1:34:30
funny. He is too. He's so
1:34:32
funny. So he was here early
1:34:34
too. And then Asan and Derek
1:34:36
both moved out here earlier. I'm
1:34:38
like, oh shit, we got something
1:34:40
going on. And then Tim Dylan
1:34:42
bought a house out here. I
1:34:44
was like, oh my goodness, what
1:34:46
is happening? This is crazy. I'm
1:34:48
like, all right, we're up and
1:34:50
running. And by the time we
1:34:52
decided to make that club, fuck,
1:34:54
we had like 10 great guys
1:34:56
living here. 12, and more were
1:34:59
coming. and they're still coming. Yeah,
1:35:01
Dylan, Tony, there's a lot of
1:35:03
different guys from the store that
1:35:05
used to work at the store
1:35:07
all the time. Yeah, I roped
1:35:09
Tony in, man. I, I'm like,
1:35:11
we need Tony here. I gave
1:35:13
him my fucking condo and let
1:35:15
him use one of my range
1:35:17
rovers to go out to Dallas.
1:35:19
Yeah, live here for a week.
1:35:21
I don't know where I was,
1:35:23
but, yeah. You spend the week
1:35:25
here, you'll go, hey, this is
1:35:27
doable. I felt like we were
1:35:29
doing something different. I've always had
1:35:31
this fuck it, part of me.
1:35:33
I was like, fuck it, let's
1:35:35
go. That's me. You do. You
1:35:37
do. You're impetuous as fuck. I
1:35:39
like it. From the time you
1:35:41
told me you were gonna, I'm
1:35:43
gonna move there. You had a
1:35:45
house like two days later. I'm
1:35:47
like, damn, this guy moves when
1:35:49
he moves. Yeah. My kids helped
1:35:51
a lot because they really wanted
1:35:53
to move. That sweet-ass place on
1:35:55
the lake. That's good living over
1:35:57
there. It's also like when we
1:35:59
came here, no one had masks
1:36:01
on and everybody was acting normal.
1:36:03
Yeah. And so my kids were
1:36:05
like, what's going on? Like, why?
1:36:07
How come everyone's normal here? We
1:36:09
should live here. You know? And
1:36:11
then it just happened. And then
1:36:13
all of a sudden, the store
1:36:15
is closed so I could get
1:36:17
all the employees. And then I
1:36:19
was like, look, I'll pay you
1:36:21
now, you don't have to work,
1:36:23
just hang out. Yeah. Let's, let's,
1:36:25
we're gonna do something special. That
1:36:27
was more money than you were
1:36:29
thinking. It was, but it, money
1:36:31
is fun coupons. Yeah, fun tickets,
1:36:33
that's right. That's what it's supposed
1:36:35
to be. If you're not having
1:36:37
fun, and you're not having fun,
1:36:39
you're doing something wrong, because you're
1:36:42
doing something wrong. you have to
1:36:44
pay for in order to have
1:36:46
fun. A lot of fun is
1:36:48
free, but there's a lot of
1:36:50
fun where you go like, oh,
1:36:52
we gotta buy a building. We
1:36:54
have to hire an architect. We
1:36:56
have to pay a construction crew.
1:36:58
We have to do a lot
1:37:00
of things, but that's the way
1:37:02
to do it. That's what you're
1:37:04
supposed to do. And I was
1:37:06
the person who was able to
1:37:08
do. It's you know, I know
1:37:10
it sounds crazy, but let's go
1:37:12
you know But I the whole
1:37:14
thing was crazy like is in
1:37:16
the middle of the biggest deal
1:37:18
I'd ever done ever in my
1:37:20
whole life Spotify this crazy thing
1:37:22
I was like The show was
1:37:24
already like the number what does
1:37:26
that feel like it was nice
1:37:28
that fucking deal bananas bananas, but
1:37:30
I was also like okay. Well
1:37:32
what should you know you have
1:37:34
to figure out what you're gonna
1:37:36
do like you have to be
1:37:38
You can't be at the whim
1:37:40
of all these other people's ideas
1:37:42
and expectations. It's like, what do
1:37:44
you want to do? It's like,
1:37:46
I want to get the fuck
1:37:48
out of LA. So let's do
1:37:50
it. So I moved. in the
1:37:52
middle of everything. So this is
1:37:54
a giant deal I have and
1:37:56
all of a sudden they're like
1:37:58
where are you going? I bet
1:38:00
they were. I'm going to Texas.
1:38:02
Like don't go in Texas is
1:38:04
crazy. Like are you sure you
1:38:06
won't be able to get gas?
1:38:08
I'm like look I'm flying guess
1:38:10
in three times a week anyway.
1:38:12
Right. I was already flying people
1:38:14
in from New Mexico and New
1:38:16
York and New York and New
1:38:18
York's closer than you know it's
1:38:20
a great spot really. that you
1:38:23
know the people were worn out
1:38:25
by the time they got there
1:38:27
so you know they had to
1:38:29
like have a night to rest
1:38:31
and relax and rehydrate and then
1:38:33
the next day maybe you know
1:38:35
still they're probably not a hundred
1:38:37
percent you know this is like
1:38:39
three hours three hour flight ain't
1:38:41
shit it's a three hour flight
1:38:43
everywhere yeah so it's a great
1:38:45
spot yeah but it's also like
1:38:47
I feel like sometimes the universe
1:38:49
calls you in a way and
1:38:51
tells you, just like, gives you
1:38:53
a feeling. I think ideas are
1:38:55
like a life form. I really
1:38:57
do. I think it's like an
1:38:59
unexplored life form. I think that's
1:39:01
why the concept of the muse
1:39:03
is so enticing to people. Because
1:39:05
there's something real to it. Like
1:39:07
when you decide, you're just gonna
1:39:09
sit there and write. It doesn't
1:39:11
always come. Like sometimes you get
1:39:13
nothing, but sometimes because you sat
1:39:15
there, you'll have some of the
1:39:17
best lines you've ever written. because
1:39:19
I think they're like life forms
1:39:21
that you have to call into
1:39:23
your life and I think sometimes
1:39:25
these life forms these ideas they
1:39:27
just exist in the ether and
1:39:29
by circumstance they like kind of
1:39:31
gel together and become more more
1:39:33
valid and more alive and then
1:39:35
they enter into your mind and
1:39:37
if you're ready to receive these
1:39:39
ideas you have to act on
1:39:41
them. Especially if they're positive. If
1:39:43
I'm not saying you know go
1:39:45
fuck the capital building because you
1:39:47
write an idea I mean positive
1:39:49
ideas not vengeful like if you
1:39:51
have a good a good soul
1:39:53
if you're you're your goal in
1:39:55
life is a positive thing these
1:39:57
ideas will come to you and
1:39:59
you're supposed to if you can
1:40:01
you're supposed to act on them
1:40:03
and I felt like wow what
1:40:06
a unique opportunity I have to
1:40:08
be able to do this I
1:40:10
shouldn't be scared because it's daunting
1:40:12
and it's expensive and it's like
1:40:14
what are you doing like you
1:40:16
just just do it just do
1:40:18
what you do just do what
1:40:20
you do just you know here's
1:40:22
one thing that I believe I
1:40:24
believe that Things disguise themselves and
1:40:26
we call them coincidences But there
1:40:28
really are no coincidences and if
1:40:30
you'll look for things that look
1:40:32
like coincidences You can follow that
1:40:34
line and go somewhere with it.
1:40:36
Yeah, and And I feel like
1:40:38
that that's what happened whenever you
1:40:40
know with the mass exodus and
1:40:42
people started coming to comedy to
1:40:44
make this the best comedy scene
1:40:46
in the world Yeah. You know,
1:40:48
those things fell into place because
1:40:50
that's what was supposed to happen
1:40:52
and... And I think it all
1:40:54
happened because of me. In that,
1:40:56
I needed it the worst. I
1:40:58
needed this more than anybody else
1:41:00
did. And I feel like I
1:41:02
was able to cash in all
1:41:04
my fucking karma or whatever and
1:41:06
draw it all into me a
1:41:08
little bit. Because I needed it.
1:41:10
And so, you know. Well, it
1:41:12
makes sense. Like, it's certainly a
1:41:14
huge factor, right? Because if you
1:41:16
didn't inspire me to even think
1:41:18
about Austin, I wouldn't have moved
1:41:20
here if you weren't. I don't
1:41:22
think, maybe I would have, but
1:41:24
it helped a lot that you
1:41:26
were here. I was like, this
1:41:28
makes it so much easier than
1:41:30
I know Ron's here. And because
1:41:32
it was weird times then, man,
1:41:34
everything was, even going to a
1:41:36
restaurant, you felt like you were
1:41:38
a rebel. Like it felt weird.
1:41:40
It felt weird to not be
1:41:42
scared. Like you wanted to hide
1:41:44
the fact that you weren't scared
1:41:47
that you wanted to just go
1:41:49
out. But this is strange, strange,
1:41:51
strange time that I think even
1:41:53
now we look back on and
1:41:55
we can't. UFC fight the other
1:41:57
day an older fight and all
1:41:59
the cornermen had masks on. I'm
1:42:01
like this is the craziest thing
1:42:03
that we went through. right there,
1:42:05
you know, it's bizarre. It was
1:42:07
a fight that took place in
1:42:09
an arena in Florida with no
1:42:11
crowd. No crowd. It was Justin
1:42:13
Gatesy versus Tony Ferguson. It was
1:42:15
one of the first fights we
1:42:17
did back. It was like... And
1:42:19
you were there? Uh-huh. Yeah. And
1:42:21
I was watching the fight the
1:42:23
other day. And I was looking
1:42:25
at the cornerman and they all
1:42:27
had masks on. I was like,
1:42:29
what a weird fucking time. What
1:42:31
a weird, I remember, like people
1:42:33
would get upset if I didn't
1:42:35
wear a mask backstage. I'm like,
1:42:37
what are we doing? What is
1:42:39
this for? Like, this is crazy.
1:42:41
These guys are beating the fuck
1:42:43
out of each other and sweating
1:42:45
on each other. You know, and
1:42:47
all of us tested negative. That's
1:42:49
how we got through here. Like,
1:42:51
is someone magically going to get
1:42:53
COVID. Everybody got tested. Like those
1:42:55
shows that you did with Chappelle?
1:42:57
Exactly. So we're all in this
1:42:59
room. Take that fucking stupid mask
1:43:01
off. Right. But even the shows
1:43:03
we did with Chappelle outside the
1:43:05
people were supposed to wear masks.
1:43:07
Outside. Outside. Everyone's tested. Is this
1:43:09
a mystery magical disease that we're
1:43:11
encountering? that it's like demons hiding
1:43:13
in the woods well it but
1:43:15
it but it was to it
1:43:17
one time wasn't it yeah you
1:43:19
know I lost Vic Henley to
1:43:21
that disease in New York City
1:43:23
early on but Vic was not
1:43:25
a healthy guy well what the
1:43:27
disease did is exposed metabolic health
1:43:30
problems like didn't I'll admit that
1:43:32
I mean he was a raging
1:43:34
alcoholic and you knew it and
1:43:36
I knew he was really considering
1:43:38
making some changes in his life,
1:43:40
you know, he was talking to
1:43:42
me about and then boom, you
1:43:44
know, gone. So in that sense,
1:43:46
yes, it was, but it wasn't
1:43:48
in the sense where all these
1:43:50
healthy people who have been tested
1:43:52
are wearing... No, no, no, that's
1:43:54
ridiculous. Especially the athletes and the
1:43:56
fighters, like what we would have...
1:43:58
to do is if one of
1:44:00
the cornermen got COVID, even if
1:44:02
the fighter didn't have COVID, the
1:44:04
fighter was pulled from the card.
1:44:06
So one of the cornermen tests
1:44:08
positive for COVID, because the fighter
1:44:10
had been around him, even if
1:44:12
he's negative. We treated it different
1:44:14
than we treated anything ever. And
1:44:16
especially for the fighters. It had
1:44:18
like, it was not going to
1:44:20
have an effect on them. There's
1:44:22
one guy did have an effect
1:44:24
on. He got COVID really, really
1:44:26
bad. But it's because they kept
1:44:28
training. A lot of these guys,
1:44:30
they don't give a fuck, they
1:44:32
have the flu, who cares, they're
1:44:34
showing up at the gym. It's
1:44:36
part of being an animal. It's
1:44:38
like you'll show up sick and
1:44:40
you'll train through a sick, but
1:44:42
you shouldn't do that. You're just
1:44:44
breaking your immune system down further,
1:44:46
and especially if you're in camp.
1:44:48
So being camp for a fighter
1:44:50
is, you are... basically redlining your
1:44:52
body, trying to get it to
1:44:54
recover, like trying to get it
1:44:56
to keep pace so you can
1:44:58
get to a superhuman level that's
1:45:00
only achievable after like a 12
1:45:02
week camp and you could only
1:45:04
hold on to it for a
1:45:06
couple weeks. They know when you're
1:45:08
peaking sometimes and they'll back a
1:45:11
fighter off. They'll go, we're done
1:45:13
today. We're done today. We're done
1:45:15
today. You're peaking too early. You're
1:45:17
peaking too early. You don't want
1:45:19
to overdo it. So you want
1:45:21
to back off your training when
1:45:23
you're feeling absolutely perfect and get
1:45:25
yourself, just slow down. where we're
1:45:27
a little too soon, like a
1:45:29
really good trainer knows when you're
1:45:31
peaking. But you can't maintain it
1:45:33
forever. It's really only for, that's
1:45:35
why it's so crazy that a
1:45:37
lot of these guys, they'll accept
1:45:39
a fight on like 10 days
1:45:41
notice, like that's nuts. That's nuts.
1:45:43
Like you need to be peaking.
1:45:45
You need to be like, you're
1:45:47
gonna fight in a fucking cage.
1:45:49
And I know you're doing this
1:45:51
as a financial decision, but that's
1:45:53
why John Jones is the smartest.
1:45:55
John Jones never did that. They
1:45:57
changed opponents. Fuck you. Fights off.
1:45:59
John Jones. It would have been
1:46:01
an annihilation, it would have been
1:46:03
an annihilation, 365 days a year
1:46:05
for decades. It wouldn't have been
1:46:07
an annihilation. It would have been
1:46:09
an annihilation, 365 days a year
1:46:11
for decades. It wouldn't have mattered.
1:46:13
How good John Jones is and
1:46:15
his greatest child son in is.
1:46:17
John Jones was the bigger man.
1:46:19
Chalid fought at 185 pounds. John
1:46:21
was a big 205 and he
1:46:23
was the most talented guy that
1:46:25
ever fought in the sport. And
1:46:27
he's gonna win every time. But
1:46:29
when they change the opponent, they
1:46:31
try to make a child son
1:46:33
and he's like, nope, nope, we
1:46:35
do things the right way. I
1:46:37
go through a full camp. That's
1:46:39
it. Fights off. Everybody says he's
1:46:41
the go. Well why is he
1:46:43
the go? Because he did everything
1:46:45
the right way. He knew especially
1:46:47
when he wasn't partying. He did
1:46:49
everything the wrong way too. I
1:46:51
mean he did a lot of
1:46:54
partying and still beat the fuck
1:46:56
out of everybody because he was
1:46:58
that good because he was that
1:47:00
talented. One of the craziest things
1:47:02
he ever said, Daniel Cormier when
1:47:04
they were having a rematch. They
1:47:06
were talking shit in the press
1:47:08
conference and Daniel Cormier said something
1:47:10
to John John goes, I beat
1:47:12
you when I was on Coke.
1:47:14
It is the craziest statement. Because
1:47:16
he says it and you're like,
1:47:18
oh shit. And it's true. It's
1:47:20
true. That's how good John was.
1:47:22
But if you try to change
1:47:24
opponents, John's like, uh-uh. Try to
1:47:26
call John Jones in for a
1:47:28
late notice fight on five days
1:47:30
notice. He'll tell you go, fuck
1:47:32
yourself. Like, nope. I'll rather hang
1:47:34
out at home, my dog. Like,
1:47:36
he's not doing it. Like, you
1:47:38
gotta... So these guys, when they're
1:47:40
peaking when they're peaking. They're vulnerable.
1:47:42
They get sick a lot, especially
1:47:44
when they're cutting weight, because you're
1:47:46
redlining your body and you could
1:47:48
overdo it and guys overdo it
1:47:50
all the time. They overtrain. They
1:47:52
just break themselves down with it.
1:47:54
They just they haven't they've kept
1:47:56
too much pace and not enough
1:47:58
recovery and they're declining and declining
1:48:00
and decline. And they show up
1:48:02
at the gym. They have no
1:48:04
energy. They're like, fuck. And if
1:48:06
you get a guy to the
1:48:08
fight that's overtrained, it's. It's horrible.
1:48:10
It's horrible to watch. I've seen
1:48:12
it many times. The guys just
1:48:14
can't recover. They're too tired. They
1:48:16
over did it. They were too
1:48:18
tough for their own good. So
1:48:20
one of those guys got COVID.
1:48:22
This guy, Hamzachmaa, and this motherfucker
1:48:24
is a psychopath. He's a savage.
1:48:26
Like one of the most savage
1:48:28
guys that's ever fought in the
1:48:30
sport. And he just kept training.
1:48:32
Just kept training. This motherfucker trains
1:48:35
like eight hours a day. He
1:48:37
trains like a Wolverine. He's an
1:48:39
animal. He was training with COVID
1:48:41
and he kept getting real sick.
1:48:43
Went up getting hospitalized, coughing up
1:48:45
blood, gets out, goes right back
1:48:47
to it. Same thing. Hospitalized again.
1:48:49
He got hospitalized like twice because
1:48:51
he wouldn't stop training because he's
1:48:53
that psychotic. But other than him,
1:48:55
regular athletes that get it, they
1:48:57
just take a few days off.
1:48:59
Daniel Cormier. Had COVID, trained through
1:49:01
it, and won the title. Won
1:49:03
the heavyweight title. Training through COVID
1:49:05
in his camp. He was sick
1:49:07
during camp and kept training. And
1:49:09
everybody was like, let's just keep
1:49:11
going. I didn't get off the
1:49:13
couch the whole time I had
1:49:15
COVID. So just imagine those level
1:49:17
of athletes and we're worried about
1:49:19
it so much that everybody has
1:49:21
to wear a mask. Like, shut
1:49:23
the fuck up. This is nuts.
1:49:25
So all that had to happen
1:49:27
too, where we were the reckless
1:49:29
ones. We were the ones that
1:49:31
like, I'm not buying this, I'm
1:49:33
gonna live my life, I'm going
1:49:35
to Texas. And there was a
1:49:37
lot of people that were really
1:49:39
mad at it. Like, what are
1:49:41
you doing? You're not scared? What
1:49:43
are you doing? You're doing chosen
1:49:45
doors. You're killing people. Blood is
1:49:47
on your hands. They were just
1:49:49
the you know and it was
1:49:51
great. It was not good really,
1:49:53
but it was great in that
1:49:55
it exposed these fragile thinkers so
1:49:57
many fragile minds that Couldn't couldn't
1:49:59
see the forest for the trees,
1:50:01
they just, they couldn't see it.
1:50:03
And when we all came out
1:50:05
here and we said, we see
1:50:07
it, like this is bullshit. Yeah,
1:50:09
yeah, it's, it'll make you sick.
1:50:11
Yeah, you'll have to be at
1:50:13
home for a week. Yeah, get
1:50:15
vitamin drips, you'll be all right.
1:50:18
Like yeah, this is what we're
1:50:20
dealing with for real. And a
1:50:22
lot of people agreed. And then
1:50:24
it turns out we were right.
1:50:26
want to live our lives we
1:50:28
all went back to liberal too
1:50:30
soon says who says who says
1:50:32
who the fucking government that's been
1:50:34
lying to you about this disease
1:50:36
entire time back on it and
1:50:38
and and realize it that it
1:50:40
happened you know that it really
1:50:42
fucking happens that we were locked
1:50:44
up locked down it's not good
1:50:46
because it's like when you find
1:50:48
out your friends a bitch and
1:50:50
then you have to count on
1:50:52
them again in the future you
1:50:54
like dude don't fall apart on
1:50:56
me right show up like don't
1:50:58
get scared when you need I
1:51:00
need help like you find out
1:51:02
your friend falls apart under pressure
1:51:04
like oh great why you crying
1:51:06
Mike what are we doing don't
1:51:08
cry this is crazy like now
1:51:10
you can't count on Mike because
1:51:12
Mike falls apart when chickens hot
1:51:14
and this is how it feels
1:51:16
like a good percentage of the
1:51:18
country you know it was a
1:51:20
joke from my my Last special
1:51:22
but it's I've really feel this
1:51:24
way we lost a lot of
1:51:26
people during COVID and most of
1:51:28
them are still alive That I've
1:51:30
wrote that line thinking about specific
1:51:32
friends. It's like what did you
1:51:34
think was going on? What did
1:51:36
you think was going on? Yeah,
1:51:38
it's a disease, but what since
1:51:40
when have you changed your entire
1:51:42
fucking life for years? For a
1:51:44
disease this is nuts since one
1:51:46
of you listened to the entire
1:51:48
government tell you can't have outdoor
1:51:50
dining because of a disease like
1:51:52
a disease you've already had. You've
1:51:54
already gotten through it and they're
1:51:56
still telling you this and we're
1:51:59
a year. and a half into
1:52:01
this fucking thing? And so we were
1:52:03
right. And so so many people, because
1:52:05
we were right, so many people also
1:52:07
came. And that's the beautiful thing. It's
1:52:09
like people speak with their actions.
1:52:11
And the people that are willing
1:52:13
to make a leap like that,
1:52:15
those are the ones you want there.
1:52:17
So like we got the best of
1:52:20
the best. We got the most fuck
1:52:22
you of the fuck you people. Because
1:52:24
comedians are fuck you people. They are.
1:52:26
Something happens in society like, hey man,
1:52:29
fuck you. Right. Or eat a steaming
1:52:31
bowl of fuck. Eat a steaming bowl
1:52:33
of fuck. No matter what it is.
1:52:35
You know? And the world needs that.
1:52:37
I need that. I need that. I
1:52:39
need you here. I need Tony. I
1:52:42
need people like that. The same way
1:52:44
that you did. So we all sort
1:52:46
of collectively manifested it together. But without
1:52:49
you we wouldn't be here. Yeah, so you
1:52:51
guys come on down to Austin Texas and
1:52:53
check out the mothership and see how much
1:52:55
fun We're having if you don't believe it.
1:52:57
If you like we're making this shit up
1:53:00
because you I also almost bought the cult
1:53:02
house Yeah, right that would have been you
1:53:04
know I people say yeah, he did that
1:53:06
would have been horrible. It wouldn't have been
1:53:08
horrible. I would have been amazing because it
1:53:10
was a cool place and that you know
1:53:13
I It would have been amazing. Yeah, it
1:53:15
would have been amazing. It would have been
1:53:17
amazing. It's an amazing spot and it's hilarious
1:53:19
that occult used to own. I feel terrible
1:53:21
for all the people that were roped into
1:53:23
building it. all the people that guy butt-fucked.
1:53:26
You were doing that piece that was so
1:53:28
funny and you quit doing it. You didn't
1:53:30
do that under your specialty. No, I didn't.
1:53:32
That was so funny. Yeah, it's a true
1:53:34
story. Remember, I gave you that line that
1:53:36
it's okay to hypnotize people and butt-fuck them
1:53:38
because it falls under the category of I
1:53:40
talked them into it. Yeah, it's basically the
1:53:43
same thing. That's not illegal at all. I
1:53:45
talked the guy in to let me fuck
1:53:47
him in the It's kind of technically not
1:53:49
illegal. With a watch going back and
1:53:51
forth, this private space, that's not illegal,
1:53:54
that's not drug. The guy was a
1:53:56
hypnotist and a gay porn star, like
1:53:58
what a combo. Right. when they
1:54:00
found the gay porn, like the
1:54:02
doc, you watched the documentary, right?
1:54:04
The documentary is incredible. But Ron,
1:54:06
for the people at home, Ron
1:54:08
had performed at this, so you
1:54:10
had performed at that point, you
1:54:13
know, I'll fucking love that theater,
1:54:15
you should buy that place. And
1:54:17
then it was for sale, it
1:54:19
was like, oh, we're in. Right.
1:54:21
And then Adam Eagut is one,
1:54:23
he goes, have you seen the
1:54:25
documentary? I don't think I even
1:54:27
realized it. at that time that
1:54:29
that's what that building was. I
1:54:31
don't think I knew that it
1:54:33
was a cult building whenever I
1:54:35
first took you. I've seen the
1:54:37
videos of the guy dancing around
1:54:39
inside the building. That was what
1:54:41
it was. Years ago. I mean
1:54:43
years and years ago. So I
1:54:45
knew about that anyway, but I
1:54:48
didn't realize that that was the
1:54:50
building or maybe I'd fuck. Those
1:54:52
are the same people wearing masks
1:54:54
in their cars. You know what
1:54:56
I'm saying? It's like that's why
1:54:58
you can start a cult. If
1:55:00
you just get everybody who wears
1:55:02
a mask in their car, you
1:55:04
could rope those motherfuckers into doing
1:55:06
almost anything. And that's how cults
1:55:08
get started. Yeah, yeah, no, people
1:55:10
are looking for leadership. Well, they're
1:55:12
also looking for community. And they're
1:55:14
really dumb. I think about the
1:55:16
positive aspects of the mothership, right?
1:55:18
Like, we're all having a positive
1:55:20
aspects of the mothership, right? Like,
1:55:23
we're all having a positive aspects
1:55:25
of... I just wanted to do
1:55:27
yoga and hang out with everybody.
1:55:29
Why don't I going to suck
1:55:31
this guy's dick? But they kept
1:55:33
sucking his dick. And you know
1:55:35
what? They're sucking his dick somewhere
1:55:37
else now. You know why? In
1:55:39
Hawaii. Yeah. You still get his
1:55:41
dick sucked. Some guys are just
1:55:43
really good at getting their dick
1:55:45
sucked. It's like, you need to
1:55:47
be the special frame of mind
1:55:49
with a special nine volt brain
1:55:51
where you can. Get talked into
1:55:53
a cult like that, but it
1:55:55
happens every day every day every
1:55:58
day Every day all throughout the
1:56:00
country, you know, I was talking
1:56:02
to Mark Andreessen about this venture
1:56:04
capitalist guy, brilliant guy, and he
1:56:06
was telling me that there's a
1:56:08
ton of active cults right now
1:56:10
in California that are functioning. Like
1:56:12
you only hear about the ones
1:56:14
that wind up getting in shootouts
1:56:16
with the feds. There's a bunch
1:56:18
of them that actually function somehow
1:56:20
or another. They keep it together.
1:56:22
You know, people leave. They tell
1:56:24
it to horror stories and some
1:56:26
people join. Right. But like Wild
1:56:28
Wild Country is a great example
1:56:30
that Netflix documentary. Yeah. The crazy
1:56:33
thing is in the beginning it
1:56:35
looks so fun. Yeah, it looked
1:56:37
completely fucking doable. So doable. You
1:56:39
know, our leaders got really nice
1:56:41
fucking cars. Look, how could he
1:56:43
be wrong? He can't be wrong.
1:56:45
He's got 20 Rolls Royces. There's
1:56:47
so many of them. It's like,
1:56:49
whatever. the way that we evolved
1:56:51
in tribal society to listen to
1:56:53
the chief we all have this
1:56:55
like strange desire to either be
1:56:57
the chief or listen to the
1:56:59
chief sure you know either be
1:57:01
the alpha or listen to the
1:57:03
alpha and someone can pretend to
1:57:05
be the chief right the chief
1:57:08
with magical insight and you know
1:57:10
what the most fucked up thing
1:57:12
about that documentary is the thing
1:57:14
that still sucks with my head
1:57:16
Is it that that guy would
1:57:18
do these thing this thing to
1:57:20
these people called the knowing where
1:57:22
he would right and they would
1:57:24
just have like they would literally
1:57:26
meet God? To this day they
1:57:28
all say that it was real
1:57:30
that that thing actually did happen
1:57:32
Like the power of suggestion the
1:57:34
fact that he kept it from
1:57:36
them for so long and then
1:57:38
the one day or this is
1:57:40
your coming of age ceremony, where
1:57:43
this is a one day, you're
1:57:45
going to get the knowing, and
1:57:47
he would put his hands on
1:57:49
them, and they would really experience
1:57:51
something. And they said it was
1:57:53
like they were experiencing God, like
1:57:55
they, it was the most bliss
1:57:57
they had ever felt in their
1:57:59
life, and that they never felt
1:58:01
it again. and the ritual activated,
1:58:03
this innate part of our consciousness
1:58:05
that's always there. This ability to
1:58:07
talk to God, the ability to
1:58:09
communicate with God, which is probably
1:58:11
what every religion is trying to
1:58:13
do. It's all like this whisper
1:58:15
of the truth that's out there
1:58:18
and everybody knows that it's out
1:58:20
there. There's something there. I just
1:58:22
have to figure out how to...
1:58:24
And this guy is crazy. gay
1:58:26
porn star hypnotist butt-fucking all
1:58:29
these dudes Still even this
1:58:31
guy was able to touch
1:58:33
these people and they were
1:58:35
able to access that part
1:58:38
of their brain And they
1:58:40
were in they were in
1:58:42
they were like oh, we're
1:58:44
in man. I'm following this
1:58:47
guy everywhere this guy really
1:58:49
is like connected to God
1:58:51
Well, you know I I
1:58:53
think that that prayer is
1:58:56
a physical thing, not a spiritual
1:58:58
thing. And that's why it works
1:59:00
for anybody. You know, I believe
1:59:02
it's a way to channel energy
1:59:04
and changes the way you feel,
1:59:06
but it doesn't matter what you're
1:59:09
praying to, that it's a physical
1:59:11
transfer of injury, not a spiritual
1:59:13
thing. And because anybody can do
1:59:15
it. And also hypnosis is so
1:59:17
powerful when it's done. correctly and
1:59:19
I know that because I've experienced
1:59:21
hypnosis done well and so boy
1:59:23
if you have both of those
1:59:25
things you know you could have
1:59:27
power over anybody that's stupid enough
1:59:29
to fucking yeah that's the problem
1:59:31
that was what they did during
1:59:34
the Manson family mk ultra during
1:59:36
those days this part of the
1:59:38
chaos book by Tom O'Neill. It's
1:59:40
about the Manson family, excuse me,
1:59:42
the Manson family murders. And one
1:59:44
of the things that they went
1:59:46
into is the fact that this
1:59:48
guy who worked for the CIA
1:59:50
at the time was a part
1:59:52
of MK Ultra. His name was
1:59:54
Jolly West. And Jolly West is
1:59:56
this figure all throughout the counterculture
1:59:59
resistance movement that the. federal government
2:00:01
it's sort of concocted and part
2:00:03
of what he was doing was
2:00:05
teaching people how to manipulate people
2:00:07
with LSD and he was teaching
2:00:09
Charlie Manson in jail. Like this
2:00:11
guy visited Manson in jail. Then
2:00:13
Manson would get out of jail
2:00:15
and Manson would get in trouble,
2:00:17
get arrested, and then get released.
2:00:19
And the sheriffs all say it's
2:00:22
over my pay grade. They were
2:00:24
all told to let him go.
2:00:26
And so he was implicated in
2:00:28
murders and violent crimes and they
2:00:30
always let him go. They always
2:00:32
had to let him go. And
2:00:34
he was getting acid. And he
2:00:36
had sophisticated methods of manipulating minds.
2:00:38
It wasn't as simple as like...
2:00:40
just as a charismatic dude, and
2:00:42
they all want to cut a
2:00:44
baby out of fucking Sharon Tate's
2:00:47
stomach. No, it was way crazier
2:00:49
than that. It was sophisticated mind
2:00:51
control from MK Ultra, and they
2:00:53
wanted to see if they could
2:00:55
get people to become homicidal maniacs,
2:00:57
and they were right, they could.
2:00:59
They knew how to do it,
2:01:01
they used it, and they got
2:01:03
Manson to do it, and it
2:01:05
threw water on this whole anti-war
2:01:07
hippie movement. All that peace love
2:01:09
shit, whosh! Now hippies are murderers.
2:01:12
Now hippies are Charles Manson. Now,
2:01:14
you know, your kid wants to
2:01:16
just like, fucking paint flowers and
2:01:18
show up in Grateful Dead shows.
2:01:20
No, your kid's a murderer. Your
2:01:22
kids are fucking. All the hippies
2:01:24
are suspects now. It worked. It
2:01:26
was a fascinating thing they did.
2:01:28
Like the way they threw water
2:01:30
on this movement that was happening,
2:01:32
like in 197070. Just threw it
2:01:34
down and put schedule one on
2:01:37
everything if the Nixon administration hadn't
2:01:39
done that in 1970 Who knows
2:01:41
what the world looks like today?
2:01:43
Like who knows? Who knows if
2:01:45
you can get Ibegan and Iowaska
2:01:47
in America? If still Simon had
2:01:49
stayed legal? What it was made
2:01:51
illegal in 1970 Yep, all that
2:01:53
stuff became Schedule I in 1970.
2:01:55
Marijuana was always illegal. It was
2:01:57
illegal from like the 1930s. And
2:02:00
that was because it was a
2:02:02
textile and that was because it
2:02:04
was a commodity. It had almost
2:02:06
nothing to do with the drug
2:02:08
itself. They were trying to outlaw
2:02:10
hemp. They were worried because they
2:02:12
had come out with a new
2:02:14
way to process hemp fiber. It's
2:02:16
called the decorticator. They invented this
2:02:18
thing. big thing, popular science magazine,
2:02:20
hemp, the new billion dollar crop.
2:02:22
It was like they were saying
2:02:25
we're all going to use hemp
2:02:27
now because now there's an effective
2:02:29
way to process the fibers and
2:02:31
they're superior to everything else, make
2:02:33
superior paper, superior cloth, superior everything.
2:02:35
Right, much much much much better
2:02:37
plant. And William Randolph Hearst was
2:02:39
like, fuck that. So William Randolph
2:02:41
Hearst starts publishing stories in his
2:02:43
newspapers about how blacks and Mexicans
2:02:45
are taking this new drug called
2:02:47
marijuana. They invented the name. It
2:02:50
was a wild Mexican tobacco. That's
2:02:52
what marijuana used to be. It
2:02:54
was slang for a wild Mexican
2:02:56
tobacco. So they put that name
2:02:58
on cannabis, something that people had
2:03:00
had forever. People have been smoking
2:03:02
it forever. It was literally... the
2:03:04
origin of the term canvas. Comes
2:03:06
from cannabis? Yes. Oh, I didn't
2:03:08
know that. It's all hemp. If
2:03:10
you look at the Mona Lisa,
2:03:12
those are all painted on hemp.
2:03:15
The first draft of the Declaration
2:03:17
of Independence was written on hemp.
2:03:19
hemp was a far superior paper.
2:03:21
It's really difficult to tear. It's
2:03:23
a crazy fiber. Can we put
2:03:25
this on pause for a second?
2:03:27
Yeah. So, ladies and gentlemen, Ron
2:03:29
White had a moment there where
2:03:31
the cold came back, the sickness
2:03:33
came back, and you know... Yeah,
2:03:35
that was a moment. That was
2:03:38
a moment. I don't know what
2:03:40
that was. Well, I was over
2:03:42
here blabbing about the illegalization of
2:03:44
weed and how crazy it is.
2:03:46
we were talking about Iowa and
2:03:48
all those things and all of
2:03:50
a sudden you just got a
2:03:52
little pale. Yeah I got a
2:03:54
little pale and started sweating I
2:03:56
don't know what it is I
2:03:58
just got a little sick I
2:04:00
feel a little better now I've
2:04:03
had a nice yak and this
2:04:05
is a how long is this
2:04:07
sickness been with you? I felt
2:04:09
fine all day I felt fine
2:04:11
yesterday I played golf I had
2:04:13
you know it's great so it's
2:04:15
happened before though it just comes
2:04:17
on out of nowhere. Maybe it's
2:04:19
another thing, like a food poisoning
2:04:21
thing or something? I don't know.
2:04:23
I don't know what it is.
2:04:25
Wow. And you've had a couple
2:04:28
IVs, right? I had a two
2:04:30
last week, and I'll go home
2:04:32
and get another one. Yeah. And
2:04:34
I'm sure I'll be fine in
2:04:36
just a little bit. Damn. Sure'll
2:04:38
be cool. Damn. And you played
2:04:40
golf with my son. Had a
2:04:42
great time. It's a nice day
2:04:44
to play golf, too. Absolutely. One
2:04:46
of the things that we have
2:04:48
out here in Texas is real
2:04:50
weather. I love it when it
2:04:53
rains and everything so green and
2:04:55
pretty and... You need to go
2:04:57
down to Costa Rica. I do
2:04:59
need to go down to Costa
2:05:01
Rica. That stay in your neighbor's
2:05:03
place. I do need to go.
2:05:05
It's the sweetest thing that I've
2:05:07
ever seen. Yeah. My big pet
2:05:09
peeve is when people say it's
2:05:11
the best thing you've ever seen.
2:05:13
I'm like, this is the best
2:05:15
thing you've ever seen, buddy. I've
2:05:18
seen some shit. Exactly. Like, what
2:05:20
are you saying? I've seen so
2:05:22
many things. But that place down
2:05:24
there that's another driftwood, or like,
2:05:26
you know, kind of like driftwood.
2:05:28
But yeah. It is fucking gorgeous.
2:05:30
I heard that driftwood place is
2:05:32
amazing place out here. It's the
2:05:34
best man. It's so pretty right
2:05:36
now because all the you know,
2:05:38
they blow in a bunch of
2:05:41
wildflowers all over it and it's
2:05:43
just fucking gorgeous. It's a great
2:05:45
golf course. I almost wish I
2:05:47
played golf. It's a waste of
2:05:49
time and money. You don't have
2:05:51
time. I'd yeah I would love
2:05:53
it I'm sure but so we
2:05:55
should probably wrap this up because
2:05:57
you're not feeling that good right
2:05:59
I feel a little better you're
2:06:01
right yeah we keep rolling a
2:06:03
little a little bit okay all
2:06:06
right well it's a it's a
2:06:08
it's a it's just when you
2:06:10
get sick like that you don't
2:06:12
know what to do like fuck
2:06:14
yeah I don't know what to
2:06:16
do but I swear I feel
2:06:18
better I feel I don't feel
2:06:20
hot anymore and that's a weird
2:06:22
So weird like what is that?
2:06:24
I assume you get something out
2:06:26
of my stomach real quick I
2:06:28
think crazy Quickest way to do
2:06:31
it. It's just crazy that something's
2:06:33
been like you know you have
2:06:35
a little invader in your body.
2:06:37
Yeah, you're fighting off That's what
2:06:39
we're doing all the time fighting
2:06:41
off these invaders Yeah, I'm still
2:06:43
coming to the club tonight. I'm
2:06:45
gonna get a drip and come
2:06:47
do a set Of course, this
2:06:49
would be fun tonight. It's camp
2:06:51
Patterson show tonight. Oh good good.
2:06:53
It's an exciting time. Really is.
2:06:56
And the world is so chaotic
2:06:58
right now, which is great for
2:07:00
comedy. Whenever the world's fucked up,
2:07:02
the comedies are its best. Gaza,
2:07:04
Palestine, and... It's fucking Ukraine, and
2:07:06
tariffs. It's great to come out
2:07:08
and do some comedy. Yeah. I'm
2:07:10
you know what I and I
2:07:12
stay I stay away from all
2:07:14
of it good and of that
2:07:16
subject matter any politics or anything
2:07:19
like that and the reason is
2:07:21
You know I know my I
2:07:23
know my crowd I know what
2:07:25
they want and and they want
2:07:27
to laugh really hard and they
2:07:29
want to and and I think
2:07:31
that I've always taken a position
2:07:33
as I'm just not going to
2:07:35
bring that into it. I'm going
2:07:37
to let us do something. I
2:07:39
love it when other people do
2:07:41
that are really good at it
2:07:44
and it's fun to watch and
2:07:46
it's entertaining as fuck. But I
2:07:48
just decided a long time ago
2:07:50
that I'm just going to go
2:07:52
out there and make them laugh
2:07:54
as hard as I can make
2:07:56
them laugh and let them have
2:07:58
some time off from. tragedy
2:08:01
or whatever and and and I'm not
2:08:03
that good at it anyway so you
2:08:05
know I've never been a political commentator
2:08:08
right so why be one now and
2:08:10
then well the problem with politics is
2:08:12
you're gonna alienate yeah of the crowd
2:08:15
it dead split yeah dead split yeah
2:08:17
and split and if you're one of
2:08:19
those people that takes a stand on
2:08:22
stage like okay great right now you
2:08:24
take it a stand yeah okay but
2:08:26
just let's it's have fun it's silly
2:08:29
unless What you have to say is
2:08:31
so good that you can make someone
2:08:33
laugh. Oh, if you're good enough. If
2:08:36
you're good enough. Right. You know, I
2:08:38
saw people try to, you know, take
2:08:40
on 9-11 right after 9-11, but I
2:08:43
only saw like one person. that was
2:08:45
really, if you're good enough to write
2:08:47
about that, then write about it. But
2:08:50
if you're not good enough to write
2:08:52
about it, leave it to fuck alone.
2:08:54
Leave it to fuck alone. That's some
2:08:57
black belt material. Yeah. You have to
2:08:59
be skill level, whatever. Yeah. You know,
2:09:01
Mitzie Shore wouldn't let Brian Holt's been
2:09:04
on stage for two weeks after 9-11?
2:09:06
Couldn't wait to say something completely outrageous.
2:09:08
Whatever that demon inside of him that
2:09:10
comes out when he's on stage. Yeah,
2:09:13
I don't understand him You know, I
2:09:15
really don't I love him to death.
2:09:17
He's such an original character and the
2:09:20
most Yeah, he's from a different time.
2:09:22
Yeah, he was brought here from another
2:09:24
dimension He's like a different thing even
2:09:27
the way dresses. It's like he's from
2:09:29
the 50s right? And he's like my
2:09:31
age like he's not He was like
2:09:34
that when I met him. He was
2:09:36
from a different era when I met
2:09:38
him in 94. Oh, you don't even
2:09:41
that long? Yeah, I'm like, where is
2:09:43
this fucking guy from? Like, you're from
2:09:45
a different time. People fucking love him
2:09:48
though, man. He's kind of crowd now.
2:09:50
Yeah, he does. That's the difference between
2:09:52
the way he was treated at the
2:09:55
store. Unfortunately, he fell into this, through
2:09:57
nobody's fault. But it was like everybody
2:09:59
waited till the end and wholesome will
2:10:02
go up. But like why have them
2:10:04
on the end? You know, it's like,
2:10:06
have them on when the crowd's hot.
2:10:09
Like don't put them on at one
2:10:11
in the morning, put them on at
2:10:13
10. You know, let's see when the
2:10:16
crowd is like popping. Like let him
2:10:18
cook when the crowd's popping. You know,
2:10:20
and now he sells out. People come
2:10:22
to see him. Right. And the headlines.
2:10:25
It's like people get excited. Yeah, they
2:10:27
get it. Yeah. It's nice. It's fun.
2:10:29
And you know, that's also the difference
2:10:32
between when a comedy club is run
2:10:34
by a comic. You know, because Holtzman
2:10:36
has always been a comic for comics.
2:10:39
You know, we all would go to
2:10:41
see Holtzman at the end of the
2:10:43
night when he was doing these insane
2:10:46
sets for 15 people in the main
2:10:48
room. Right. But now, like, we're running
2:10:50
the shows. Like, give him a fucking
2:10:53
weekend. Like, let's go. Give him a
2:10:55
Thursday night. Let's go. Let's have some
2:10:57
fun. Right. You feel a little crazy
2:11:00
about the world? Let that guy. Let
2:11:02
that guy lose. You understand it's a
2:11:04
joke? Yeah, you get jokes. You get
2:11:07
someone saying something that he doesn't really
2:11:09
mean. It's completely ridiculous to say. Yeah,
2:11:11
that's part of the fun. Yeah. Yeah.
2:11:14
And then he acts like he means
2:11:16
it and you buy into it. No,
2:11:18
it's a joke still. But every now
2:11:21
and then he'll show you behind the
2:11:23
curtain. Yeah. Every now and then he'll
2:11:25
give you a little peek and you
2:11:27
like. He's having fun. He is, he's
2:11:30
having a good time. And he loves
2:11:32
Austin too. I see him walking around
2:11:34
down down at most every time I
2:11:37
drive through the city. Yeah, it was
2:11:39
a big get in him here. It
2:11:41
was a big get because we wanted
2:11:44
to bring a lot of the, there
2:11:46
was some magic that was trapped in
2:11:48
the talent of the comedy store. It
2:11:51
was magic. And some of it wasn't
2:11:53
being utilized correctly and Holzman's the best
2:11:55
example of that. But what a fun
2:11:58
hang it was, you know. What a
2:12:00
fun hang. Yeah, it was, it was
2:12:02
great. I had some of my favorite
2:12:05
times in my life in that back
2:12:07
bar. Yeah. Just laughing. Just laughing. We
2:12:09
would be back there, just laugh. That
2:12:12
was a great thing the comic store
2:12:14
did when they put together that bar
2:12:16
that it had Mitzy's actual bar from
2:12:19
her house was the bar there. I
2:12:21
didn't know that bar didn't used to
2:12:23
be there. Like so the early days,
2:12:26
that was like a storage room. And
2:12:28
so at one point in time in
2:12:30
the store was like really killing it.
2:12:32
They decided like we should turn this
2:12:35
to a bar and I don't know
2:12:37
what year was that. I want to
2:12:39
feel like I feel like I feel
2:12:42
like I was like 2014-ish like which
2:12:44
is right when I came back and
2:12:46
the store was killing it and we
2:12:49
all We're like, oh yeah, we'll have
2:12:51
our own bar, this is incredible. And
2:12:53
you had to go through the kitchen
2:12:56
to get through it, like a scene
2:12:58
from Goodfellas. And you get back there
2:13:00
and you could only be back there
2:13:03
if you were cool. Like you couldn't
2:13:05
buy a ticket. It was police too.
2:13:07
Yeah, you had to have a friend.
2:13:10
You had to know somebody to get
2:13:12
back there. But we would be hanging
2:13:14
with some of the coolest people in
2:13:17
the world. That was my favorite place
2:13:19
to drink. Oh. It was so fun,
2:13:21
there'd be musicians back there, and everybody
2:13:24
was just chill and the drinks for
2:13:26
free. It was crazy. It was like,
2:13:28
it was so fun. The store was
2:13:31
a magical place, man, a magical place.
2:13:33
And there's something about the fact that...
2:13:35
You know, it had this insane history
2:13:37
to it that you felt like, wow,
2:13:40
I can't believe I'm even here. Right,
2:13:42
standing on the stage, same last stage
2:13:44
as a prior and... Kennison, yeah. And
2:13:47
you're in the belly of the beast
2:13:49
on sunset in Hollywood, like right in
2:13:51
the middle of everything. Where everybody... I
2:13:54
remember when I was a kid in
2:13:56
1988 when I first started doing stand
2:13:58
up. They would talk about the comedy
2:14:01
store like it was Mecca. Like you
2:14:03
had to make your pilgrimage. to the
2:14:05
store and some guys that say they
2:14:08
went there but they bombed. I went
2:14:10
back to try to do some meetings.
2:14:12
I did a set up the store.
2:14:15
I bombed. I fucked that place. Yeah
2:14:17
my first trip out to LA I
2:14:19
was trying to get on at the
2:14:22
improv. I couldn't get on and I
2:14:24
was like oh man I went to
2:14:26
the comedy store and I told him
2:14:29
my story. It was Monday night and
2:14:31
they put me up first which wasn't
2:14:33
a really good spot and I ate
2:14:36
it. but they did put me on
2:14:38
stage. Well, there it is right there.
2:14:40
There were about 10 people in there
2:14:43
or whatever, nobody, and it was a
2:14:45
horrible experience. But I always look back
2:14:47
at it finally, you know, because they
2:14:49
did it. Yeah, they said, yeah, go
2:14:52
get on stage. First time I ever
2:14:54
came out to the store, I was
2:14:56
out in LA to do some pilot
2:14:59
thing for MTV. I was staying at
2:15:01
a hotel and I knew what the
2:15:03
store was. I was like, I gotta
2:15:06
get there. I just gotta see what
2:15:08
it's like. And they let me in
2:15:10
because I said, hey, I'm a comedian
2:15:13
from New York. Can I just come
2:15:15
in and watch the show? And they're
2:15:17
like, yeah, sure. They just let me
2:15:20
right down. And then I sat in
2:15:22
the back of the room and there's
2:15:24
like 19 people in there. And they
2:15:27
were all like, the comics that were
2:15:29
on stage were terrible. A lot of
2:15:31
these scenes, they go in these peaks
2:15:34
and valleys, and I had caught it
2:15:36
when it was out of valley. And
2:15:38
before it was at a peak, like
2:15:41
the Kinneson years, it was a giant
2:15:43
peak. When people had come to, it
2:15:45
was the wild place, Kinneson was there,
2:15:48
they all come at midnight and watch
2:15:50
him, and celebrities would be all there.
2:15:52
And he had died in like 92,
2:15:54
I think. And I got there in
2:15:57
94. So there's like, there was this
2:15:59
like... absence. Well, right. It was a
2:16:01
real lull. There wasn't, there's a lot
2:16:04
of like leftovers, people that didn't, that
2:16:06
were in the 80s, that didn't make
2:16:08
it. Right. But they were still around,
2:16:11
they're still... and stand up and hoping
2:16:13
that something was going to happen, but
2:16:15
they had tired acts. They were just
2:16:18
tired. It hadn't happened for them. They
2:16:20
were out there doing pilot season. They
2:16:22
didn't want to be at the store
2:16:25
because you're at the store. There's no
2:16:27
agents. No one comes to see at
2:16:29
the store. There's no agents. There's no
2:16:32
executive. No one comes to see with
2:16:34
the store at that. Watch your language!
2:16:36
There's a lot of that back then,
2:16:39
right? The TV days? Everybody thought you
2:16:41
had to be clean? You know, when
2:16:43
I came back to the store, it
2:16:46
was in its hey day, you know,
2:16:48
you were, you know, running the podcast
2:16:50
and, you know, fucking place was back
2:16:53
to the rafters and the comics were
2:16:55
solid as fuck, you know. We had
2:16:57
a magical run. Yeah. There's a magical
2:16:59
run. and we're having one now. It's
2:17:02
the same thing. I mean, it's basically,
2:17:04
but it's our version of it, the
2:17:06
new version of it. But it's the
2:17:09
same thing. It's just like, it's a
2:17:11
beautiful thing when, I mean, that term
2:17:13
artist is very pretentious. So I'll just
2:17:16
say comics, realize that we're all doing
2:17:18
this thing together and there's fun to
2:17:20
hang out together and enjoy each other
2:17:23
and appreciate each other and appreciate the
2:17:25
ride. We're all in this wild ride
2:17:27
together. That's right. And it is quite
2:17:30
a ride. It's a beautiful ride. Quite
2:17:32
a ride. Yeah, we're very lucky, Ron
2:17:34
White. And I say it all the
2:17:37
time, but it's true. You're patient zero.
2:17:39
All right, man. I'll take the title.
2:17:41
You're patient zero. All right, man. I'll
2:17:44
take the title. You really patient zero
2:17:46
because you just threw up. Imagine if
2:17:48
you have some new COVID in Vegas.
2:17:51
It kills us. You
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