0:01

I'm feeling good, podcast, check

0:03

it out. The Joe, Rogan,

0:06

experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan

0:08

podcast by night, all day. We

0:10

got you, fellow, we're up. What's

0:12

going on, runway? I'm feeling good,

0:14

finally, after my little bout with

0:16

fucking COVID. They gotcha. They got

0:19

you with the new COVID. They

0:21

got me with the new COVID,

0:23

man. I thought the new COVID

0:25

was total bullshit. I thought it

0:27

was like a baby, baby, baby

0:29

cold. You know my my girlfriend

0:32

raised two kids and she said she's

0:34

never seen anybody puke as much as

0:36

I did for two days Wow, and

0:38

it was it was brutal. It was

0:40

just bile and I don't even know

0:43

if I ever I've ever been that

0:45

sick It only got asked that part

0:47

of it a couple of days. That's

0:49

interesting. I wonder if you got multiple

0:51

things at the same time Do

0:53

people usually puke a lot of

0:56

figure COVID? Jamie, do you know? I

0:58

don't remember that being a symptom.

1:00

I don't remember having that either. You

1:02

might have had a couple things at

1:04

the same time. Because there was a

1:06

bad flu going around too. Well I

1:08

went to, you know, I went to Vegas

1:11

and early and I had a kind of,

1:13

I just thought I had a cold when

1:15

I went and my doctor here gave me

1:17

a shot of steroids. and I felt way

1:19

fucking better. I mean I felt better everywhere.

1:22

I was more flexible. I was like, fuck,

1:24

I want to do steroids every god damn

1:26

day. I don't know, but whatever it was,

1:28

man, I could touch the floor without being

1:30

in my knees, without stretching at all. Like

1:33

a cortisone shot? I don't know. She said

1:35

sero and she gave it to me. I

1:37

don't ask a lot of questions. So you

1:39

just felt loose? I felt loose and good. I played really

1:41

good golf and then I got there and it started catching up

1:43

with me. I had my girlfriend. I'm staying in the mansion down

1:46

at MGM Grand which is pretty sweet. And I had that show

1:48

just on Saturday we got there on Wednesday and I'm like, fuck

1:50

it, I'm not going to make it. I felt it all-star.

1:52

to deteriorate. So I called his

1:54

doctor. It was so bad you

1:56

didn't think you were going to

1:58

make it on Saturday? I didn't.

2:00

I didn't. I thought I would

2:02

need another shot of steroids. That's

2:04

so I called a doctor. I

2:06

had the hotel call a doctor.

2:09

And I thought I was getting

2:11

the doctor that was, you know,

2:13

whatever it takes to get through

2:15

the show. Right. And, you know,

2:17

but that's not the doctor I

2:19

got. The doctor I got was,

2:21

we need to, let's test you

2:23

for COVID. I'm like, no, no,

2:25

I don't have COVID. He said,

2:27

I won't charge you if it's

2:29

negative, which didn't make any sense

2:31

to me. And I said, well, okay.

2:34

And then it came up positive for COVID. And

2:36

he said, see there the T and the

2:38

X and the thing. And I said, yeah, I

2:40

see it. Let's do it again. Because

2:43

I don't think I have COVID. So

2:45

we did it again, came up

2:47

positive again. Not only would he not

2:50

give me the COVID shot, he

2:52

told me to quit taking the antibiotics.

2:54

I was already on and, uh,

2:56

and he did nothing except for called

2:58

the CDC to tell them I

3:00

had COVID and they both said, you

3:02

cannot do the show. I'm

3:05

like, wait a minute, you're the wrong doctor.

3:07

I don't want to fucking retire today.

3:09

Shit. I want to hear your drummers of

3:11

junkies out of heroin. Get him some

3:13

fucking something to get him through this guy.

3:15

So they were telling you, you can't

3:17

do the show because you had a specific

3:19

kind of a cold, a COVID

3:21

cold. So if you had the flu, would he

3:24

have stopped you from doing the show? I'd

3:27

say absolutely not. I don't think

3:29

it would even come up. That's

3:31

so weird because right now, like

3:33

the deaths from COVID now are

3:35

so low. Like the

3:37

idea that this is still a pandemic and

3:40

they still have to treat it differently than

3:42

they do a cold. They do. And why?

3:44

Well, you know, I was

3:46

faced with, do

3:49

I cancel a show? Well, that's not the same

3:51

as St. Louis when they just moved the

3:53

date and the people from St. Louis come back

3:55

out. This is Las Vegas. Right. A lot

3:57

of those people come specifically to see me because

4:00

I don't do all those shows that I used to do. So

4:02

it's kind of, if you want to come see it, and that's

4:04

a good place. And so

4:06

it's a problem, you know, it's a refund. You

4:08

gotta refund them all because those people are

4:10

gonna be there. Most

4:12

importantly, your fans are bummed out.

4:14

Yeah, my fun, I've disappointed them.

4:16

Everybody's here, fuck, let's do the

4:18

show. So I just sitting there, I didn't know what

4:20

to do. So I'm like, well, I'm just gonna call him

4:23

GM Grand and tell him what the fuck's going on, let it

4:25

be their call, you know? And

4:27

they're like, so how do you feel? I'm

4:29

like, I feel like I can make it through

4:31

the show. And they're

4:33

like, well, I say, let's just go ahead

4:35

and do it, you know, it's a big

4:37

room, you're not within six feet of anybody.

4:39

It's 2025. It's 2025. If you told me,

4:41

you did tell me you had COVID and

4:44

I gave you a big hug on Monday. I

4:46

saw you on Monday. Yeah. When we did

4:49

Kill Tony. Right, and

4:51

I fine. You were a super spreader

4:53

on Kill Tony. You son a Big

4:55

time, I'm a asshole. The biggest asshole

4:57

ever. It would be so horrible. got

4:59

sick. I know, nobody did. Nobody got

5:01

sick. fucking. And it wasn't until the

5:03

next day that I got sick. That's

5:05

when the vomiting started, wasn't in Vegas.

5:07

It was day two, it was Tuesday

5:09

after Kill Tony. That's when

5:12

I got sick. And

5:14

it was fucking

5:16

awful. I mean, for

5:18

two days, just awful. Did you get another

5:20

story shot? No, nobody

5:22

would give me one. So, I don't know,

5:24

man. I just got the wrong goddamn.

5:26

You gotta go to Gold's Gym. Yeah, right.

5:29

Find the biggest guy in the room

5:31

and say, who's doctor? Dude, you got something,

5:33

don't you? You know you got something,

5:35

bro. Come on, man. Aren't you a Ron

5:37

White fan? Give me some fucking steroids.

5:39

Just to get me around the corner, so.

5:42

So, I'm back. I feel fine today.

5:44

Well, that's good. And which is

5:46

really good. You coming to the club

5:49

tonight? You

5:51

know, they asked me to. I don't know who's

5:53

got the set tonight. I don't know who's got the

5:55

show. We do. Fuck it, let's go. Okay, let's

5:58

go. I'll go. Let's go, Ron White. The

6:00

bottom of the barrels tonight

6:02

too. The Kiltoni was on Netflix

6:04

last night. Isn't that amazing? I'm

6:06

so happy for Tony and Red

6:09

Band and for everybody on the

6:11

show. I'm just so happy that

6:13

that show is now on Netflix.

6:15

It's sweet, you know, I always

6:17

believed in it and you know

6:19

that and I always saw something

6:21

and Tony. I don't know, I

6:24

would never sure what exactly it

6:26

was, but I saw something, you

6:28

know, that this kid works hard,

6:30

you know, he's got a dream,

6:32

that he's fucking making it work,

6:34

with hard work. He works hard,

6:36

he works really hard at that

6:38

show, man. I mean, I call

6:40

him in the middle of the

6:42

day sometimes and he's just laying

6:44

it. wandered around his apartment writing

6:47

notes down, just planning it

6:49

out in his head. He's

6:51

legit. This is the thing

6:53

about success. It's a product

6:55

of hard work. And in that

6:57

example, I fucking know it's a

6:59

product of hard work. Those guys

7:01

did that show every God damn

7:04

Monday for 10 plus years. Starting

7:06

with six people in the crowd.

7:08

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features and network management details There when

9:15

they were doing the belly room show,

9:17

but I always encouraged it I encourage

9:19

people to do shows when no one's

9:21

watching because I think that You know,

9:24

the only way something builds is you

9:26

got to get it started. You can't

9:28

think you're going to launch a podcast

9:30

and it's going to have a million

9:33

downloads. It's not that way. And you

9:35

don't want it that way anyway. You

9:37

want to get good at it. You

9:39

want to learn how to do it.

9:42

You want to iron out the kinks.

9:44

I agree. And they did it. And

9:46

they fucking did it. They did it.

9:48

Now it's one of the best shows

9:51

in the world. down you know my

9:53

my last girlfriend was so addicted to

9:55

the show she would come almost every

9:57

Monday and it's hard for me to

10:00

go down there on kill Tony night

10:02

because they got the you know the

10:04

green rooms hocked out to 19 thousand

10:06

people and there's no place for me

10:09

to go right and so you know

10:11

but but she was addicted to it

10:13

I mean just is something fun to

10:16

do you know it's a fun thing

10:18

to do because you're gonna get some

10:20

great comics you're in it doesn't matter

10:22

if the comic eats it on stage

10:25

because it's still funny. You know, that's

10:27

not the point. The point is that

10:29

everybody has access, you know, in some

10:31

way. And there's no shortcut to get

10:34

there because I tried to shortcut it

10:36

because I thought I could because I

10:38

was Ron White and my banker said,

10:40

yeah, I've been doing stand up and

10:43

I'd love to get a, no problem,

10:45

I'll tell, I'll fix this for you.

10:47

And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,

10:49

no, you can't. It's a bucket pool.

10:52

That's the only way he can do

10:54

it is to get his name in

10:56

there. It's a legit bucket pool. It

10:58

is. And it really is. And sometimes

11:01

one of our guys gets in, like

11:03

a son's been on a couple of

11:05

times now, you know. And sometimes not.

11:07

You put your name in the bucket.

11:10

It's a great idea. It's great idea

11:12

and it's and it's inclusive to anybody

11:14

I mean, it's amazing to me who

11:16

He saw the had the vision to

11:19

put anybody anybody no matter what kind

11:21

of physical shape if they can't even

11:23

say a word Right and handicapped on

11:25

top of that and you know, I

11:28

have to just give it a go.

11:30

Give it a go. Try to be

11:32

funny. Just do your best just do

11:34

your best And there's a lot of

11:37

people doing their best. I'm thrilled for

11:39

the success of it. It's incredible. Yeah,

11:41

it really is. It's fun too. It's

11:43

like it makes everything more fun. When

11:46

there's a fun thing like that out

11:48

there in the world, more of us

11:50

have fun. We have more fun at

11:53

the clubs. We have more fun talking

11:55

about comedy. Yeah, and you know, it

11:57

made me really proud too, to, I

11:59

mean, just to walk out on stage

12:02

and it's, you know, it's you and

12:04

Shane and, it's a girl and, and

12:06

Tony, and, and these are my friends.

12:08

You know, these are my buddies. This

12:11

is my tribe right here and we're

12:13

doing something really special and it's a

12:15

fucking hoot. Yeah, it is a fucking

12:17

hoot. It's a fucking hoot. Yeah, and

12:20

it's, uh, that club's the best place

12:22

for it. I had a nightmare the

12:24

other night. Oh no. Yeah, and it

12:26

was about the club. Oh no. And

12:29

that I was the headliner that night.

12:31

And I got down there and there

12:33

were like 9-11-year-old girls and that's all

12:35

the tickets we could sell. And I

12:38

was like, did you tell them I

12:40

was coming? I mean, yeah, we put

12:42

it in the thing and nobody showed

12:44

up for on except for these chicks.

12:47

If I was your psychiatrist, I'd sit

12:49

down and go, Ron, what do you

12:51

think this means to you? 11 euro

12:53

girls would come to see you do

12:56

comedies. That's because for 38 years I've

12:58

been waiting for the end. You know,

13:00

and it finally happened that night in

13:02

the middle of that dream. See, I

13:05

knew it would happen. I knew it

13:07

would happen. I knew it. It drives

13:09

me crazy. I don't understand how you

13:11

can think like that. I just always

13:14

have because I, you know, it never

13:16

works as good as it works for

13:18

me. You know, I mean it's worked

13:20

okay for you, but I mean, you

13:23

know, these kind of careers don't last,

13:25

And unless they do, and there's not

13:27

very many of them that do, you

13:30

know, last fucking four decades. It's a

13:32

different world now, Ron. I think they

13:34

do last now. I guess so. I

13:36

think the thing that was going on

13:39

before was everybody thought you did comedy

13:41

to get to something. He did comedy

13:43

to get to the movies, he did

13:45

comedy to get to TV. And if

13:48

you didn't, then you were a failure.

13:50

And you thought of yourself as a

13:52

failure, and other people thought of you

13:54

as a failure too. And that would

13:57

diminish your confidence, that would diminish your

13:59

draw. and only a few people survived

14:01

that and escaped and a lot of

14:03

great comics like Richard Jenny for instance

14:06

he got caught up in that and

14:08

felt like he was a failure and

14:10

a loser and wind up fucking killing

14:12

himself meanwhile he was one of the

14:15

greatest comics that's ever lived he just

14:17

missed the boat he missed the internet

14:19

boat he would have been yeah but

14:21

I missed it too you didn't though

14:24

but you didn't he didn't miss it

14:26

You didn't. You caught us. You caught

14:28

the whole wave, brother. You came to

14:30

the county store right now. I did

14:33

catch a great wave. And it's great

14:35

for all of us that we all

14:37

know each other. It's great for all

14:39

of us. There's no more, you know,

14:42

waves, like in terms of like your

14:44

career is going to die off. Your

14:46

career is dependent entirely on your work.

14:48

And your work's never been better. No,

14:51

I don't think it has. It's never

14:53

been better. You're on fire right now.

14:55

You were killing it the other night.

14:57

We were in the green room and

15:00

we're watching for the balcony, fucking howling.

15:02

It's great. It's great. There's no reason

15:04

it shouldn't be great. Like you've been

15:07

doing it forever. You love doing it.

15:09

You're passionate about it. You work hard.

15:11

You're always writing. Of course it's great.

15:13

And it's fun. It's the best. I

15:16

don't think there. I don't think there's

15:18

any environment. that's more conducive to getting

15:20

chops. I mean that really is a

15:22

gym to me and everybody there is.

15:25

Just getting better. It's at fucking stage

15:27

time. There's no fucking substitute for stage

15:29

time. No substitute stage time and a

15:31

good tribe. Yeah You got you got

15:34

to have that because everybody's killing it

15:36

like when I see a son up

15:38

there killing him I'm like ooh, let's

15:40

go I get excited. Everybody's come a

15:43

long way. A long way. You see

15:45

these guys like Ari Maddie, these young

15:47

guys coming up. You see all these

15:49

people and Cam Patterson on Kill Tony

15:52

Monday night was on fire. on fire

15:54

you see the growth you see these

15:56

guys emerging and you're like this is

15:58

incredible we're so lucky we're in the

16:01

like the we have the luckiest job

16:03

in the luckiest place in the world

16:05

I think so man and if I

16:07

was a young comic now I would

16:10

go to Austin Texas 100% because they're

16:12

just all that stage time and now

16:14

you don't actually automatically get to go

16:16

to the mother ship but that can

16:19

be your goal and get in there

16:21

you don't actually automatically get to go

16:23

to the mother ship but that can

16:25

be your goal and get in there

16:28

man you can get in there if

16:30

you're good there's a lot of women

16:32

get in there a lot of nine

16:34

binary people If you're funny, your shit's

16:37

on the internet. It's like, the path

16:39

has never been clear now for a

16:41

young comic. I mean, when I was

16:44

young, start now, and it's like, how

16:46

do you do this? How do you

16:48

get on stage? How do you get

16:50

a manager? How do you get paid?

16:53

How do you do it? Right. You

16:55

know, now it's like, it's kind of

16:57

laid out. the growth spot to know

16:59

how to get better you know because

17:02

I was like you there was no

17:04

direction there was nobody giving advice there

17:06

was you know you just looked at

17:08

it went okay I'll try this yeah

17:11

let's see and well you made it

17:13

late in life too You know, that's

17:15

probably why you have this thing in

17:17

your head because like when did Blue

17:20

Collar was like how old we when

17:22

that that tour kicked out 45 Yeah,

17:24

see that's that's that's that's why that's

17:26

the thing you know who else had

17:29

that same sort of feel Phil Hartman?

17:31

Phil Hartman didn't get on Saturday Night

17:33

Live. I think he was 36. That

17:35

was his first break 36? Yeah, I'm

17:38

pretty sure Now did he do stand-up

17:40

also or is he? He was going

17:42

to. He would do some stand-up to

17:44

warm up the crowd sometimes. Oh okay.

17:47

And he would fuck around and he

17:49

and I talked about it and I

17:51

said anytime you want to do it

17:53

I'll take you to the store. I

17:56

go you can get on stageless. I

17:58

go you don't need a lot of

18:00

time. You just like put together five

18:02

minutes I'll help you. I know you

18:05

could do it. I know you could

18:07

do it. And he had some really

18:09

funny impressions. he built Clinton impression. He

18:11

was a funny fucking dude and a

18:14

hard worker. You want to talk about

18:16

a hard worker? That dude used to

18:18

make me, everybody felt like they weren't

18:21

a professional when they were on that

18:23

guy. He would have like tabs and

18:25

shit, a notebook, where all the scenes

18:27

were, everything was organized. Yeah, I already

18:30

feel unprofessional. While he was doing that,

18:32

he was also trying to take his

18:34

pilot's license in between scenes. You'd be

18:36

reading airplane, you'd be reading airplane books.

18:39

What a fucking dread. Oh, bro, you

18:41

don't know the half of it. I

18:43

tried to get him to divorce her

18:45

a long time ago. I told him

18:48

like right when he was struggling. I

18:50

said man, just give her half. Just

18:52

get out. You'll make more money. And

18:54

he was like, well, it's not half.

18:57

It's a scam. The lawyers get a

18:59

third. It's a third. You get a

19:01

third of your fucking money. Okay, okay,

19:03

okay, okay. Just give her the money.

19:06

Money is fun coupons. Right. If you're

19:08

having money and you're not having fun,

19:10

then what are you got to cut

19:12

something off? You know, you got to

19:15

figure out what, where's the cancer? Hack

19:17

it off. Hack off that melanoma and

19:19

let's get this party rolling. Like you

19:21

shouldn't be involved with someone that you

19:24

hate. That's crazy. You come home to

19:26

someone who hates you. That's crazy. That

19:28

is insane. That's crazy. And you know,

19:30

and I've been in bad relationships before

19:33

that I cut off and of course.

19:35

And then all of a sudden you

19:37

can breathe again. You're a different person

19:39

when you're in a bad relationship. Like

19:42

you're not the best friend if your

19:44

friend is a cocksucker. You know, you're...

19:46

you're good friends with good friends. Like

19:49

we all inspire each other and if

19:51

you got a one-way street or if

19:53

you are one of those unfortunate people

19:55

that hooked up with a hot lunatic,

19:58

because that's the problem. You got a

20:00

hot lunatic. Right. And they're sexy and

20:02

they're fun for short bursts of a

20:04

few hours at a time and then

20:07

you're like... Oh my god, this person

20:09

is in my life. And if you

20:11

move in with them, oh Christ, I

20:13

know. And if you have kids with

20:16

them, oh Christ, and if you're married

20:18

to them, oh Christ, you married a

20:20

hot lunatic. The hole gets deeper and

20:22

deeper and deeper. This episode is brought

20:25

to you by UberEats. Summer is almost

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here and you can now get almost

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you must be legal drinking age, please

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enjoy responsibly, product availability varies by region,

20:52

see app for details. You know, you're

20:54

Johnny Depp and you're on TV. Yeah,

20:56

and you're in the court. With the

20:58

whole thing falling to pieces. The whole

21:01

thing falling to pieces in front of

21:03

the whole world, because you married a

21:05

hot lunatic. And that's the thing about

21:07

symmetry and beauty and women who are

21:10

sexy, they just can trick you. And

21:12

man are so easily tricked or so

21:14

vulnerable. Oh, I'm the worst. I'm so

21:16

easy to lead me down a road,

21:19

I'll just sniff my way. Oh, this

21:21

is blessed. I'm in love. We're gonna

21:23

elope, fuck it. I don't care about

21:26

my money. Yeah. She used to like

21:28

insult him at parties and shit, Phil

21:30

Hartman's wife. It was really rough. I

21:32

remember we all went to this party

21:35

once, like some industry type party, and

21:37

she was insulting him, and I was

21:39

like, oh, I just, I had a

21:41

bite my tongue, which I'm not very

21:44

good at, you know? No. And I

21:46

was like, and then, you know, he

21:48

and I were in his green, his

21:50

little dressing room. I was telling him,

21:53

like, there's another way. You know, you're

21:55

a great guy, you're a lot of

21:57

fun, you'd be a better person if

21:59

you were with someone better. you'd feel

22:02

better about yourself. Like you can't be

22:04

feeling good about yourself. You got a,

22:06

you know, but he had kids

22:08

too, which complicates the fuck out

22:10

of everything. He had kids with

22:12

her? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

22:14

Yeah. What a horrible fucking story. Did I

22:17

tell you the story about like the worst

22:19

I ever bombed on stage right after that?

22:21

Like, easily the worst I've ever bombed on

22:24

stage. Did I ever tell you the story?

22:26

I've never seen you bomb on stage. I

22:28

was at the gas station. And I was

22:30

getting gas. It was two weeks after he

22:33

was murdered. And it was the first time

22:35

I was going to go on stage again.

22:37

Because I was, everyone was wrecked. I didn't

22:39

even know like how long it would take

22:42

before I felt like I could do comedy

22:44

again. So I'm at the gas station

22:46

getting gas. And just randomly run into

22:48

a buddy of mine. Who's a cop. And

22:50

I go, hey, what's up? What's

22:53

going on, man? He's like, how

22:55

are you doing? You're doing okay?

22:57

I'm like, man, we're all fucked

23:00

up, you know. And he goes,

23:02

did I tell you that I

23:04

was there? I go, no. You were

23:07

there? He goes, dude. What? He

23:09

goes, I was there when the

23:11

kids ran from the mom.

23:13

I go, what do you

23:15

mean? He's like, after she

23:17

killed herself in the bathroom.

23:20

And she had the kids in

23:22

there with her, with a gun.

23:24

And a lot of times

23:26

when moms kill themselves, they'll

23:29

kill their kids too. And

23:31

the cops saw that, and

23:33

so they kicked open the door.

23:36

And when they kicked open

23:38

the door, the kids ran

23:40

from the mom. The kids

23:42

ran out of the bathroom,

23:44

and then the mom blew

23:47

her brains out. I'm

23:49

seeing my friend at the gas station

23:51

right before I go on stage. I'm

23:53

going on stage in about 45 minutes.

23:55

Jesus. Yeah. Half hour drive at the

23:58

common store. 15 minutes for our...

24:00

going to go on stage and this

24:02

is my face I'm just like

24:04

there's nothing funny in the world

24:06

is nothing funny in the world

24:08

and then after I recovered you

24:10

know it took like another week

24:12

off and then I came back

24:14

and I was like he would

24:16

just he just wanted me to

24:18

keep going I had a dream

24:20

about him once I was like

24:22

the most realistic dream I've ever

24:24

had about anybody in my life

24:26

ever in my life he was

24:29

sitting a lawn chair And I

24:31

ran into him and I was

24:33

like, what are you doing? What

24:35

are you doing? And he's like,

24:37

oh, I'm fine. He goes, we

24:39

made up. It was a lot.

24:41

He goes, obviously we had a

24:43

lot to work out and he

24:45

laughed about it. And I said,

24:47

well, that's great, man. And then

24:49

he pushed the chair back and

24:51

he was gone. And then I

24:53

woke up. The one of the

24:55

most I've had two very realistic

24:57

dreams in my life that seemed

24:59

so realistic They didn't even make

25:01

sense That was one of them

25:03

where it was like I Feel

25:05

like he was there. I didn't

25:07

I didn't feel I feel like

25:09

he wanted me to let it

25:11

go was so weird I felt

25:13

like you know He wanted it's

25:15

like that's how he was whenever

25:18

they would fight because it like

25:20

I'm not I don't like fights

25:22

in real, which sounds crazy because

25:24

I commentate on fights, but I

25:26

don't like, I don't like conflict.

25:28

I wish it didn't exist. The

25:30

reason why I got good at

25:32

fighting like martial arts is because

25:34

I was scared of conflict. I

25:36

don't like it. I understand it,

25:38

but I don't think it's necessary.

25:40

And I don't think fighting in

25:42

a relationship. I think that's the

25:44

worst. People that get in these

25:46

relationships, they scream and yell at

25:48

each other and call each other

25:50

horrible names. But with a lot

25:52

of people becomes this cycle of

25:54

getting mad at each other and

25:56

then making up and then the

25:58

making up sex is like very

26:00

addictive to a lot of people.

26:02

It's like it's a different kind

26:04

of thing and you get on

26:07

this weird roller coaster ride if

26:09

I hate you I hate you

26:11

I love you and he was

26:13

he was on that roller coaster

26:15

ride and he was letting me

26:17

know like it just went too

26:19

far and went crazy. We know

26:21

I lived in Mexico for a

26:23

while with a... with a woman

26:25

who eventually took her own life.

26:27

And I mean, I was already

26:29

out of the picture for a

26:31

couple of years, and when that

26:33

happened, but when I was in

26:35

Mexico with her, I knew that

26:37

I was trapped, number one. I

26:39

moved down there to start a

26:41

fucking pottery company. because I was

26:43

frustrated with stand-up comedy. They had

26:45

just cut my, the Funny Bone

26:47

chain had just cut my pay

26:49

by a third. Because they realized

26:51

that I just worked for them.

26:53

And I couldn't patch this schedule

26:56

together without them. Oh, what a

26:58

bunch of assholes. And I told

27:00

the guy that ran the Funny

27:02

Bone, Gerald Kubak, to go eat

27:04

a steaming bowl of fuck. And,

27:06

uh... I don't even know what

27:08

that would look like. I don't

27:10

know, but it cost me a

27:12

lot of work to say it,

27:14

but it was still fun to

27:16

say. Wow. But I moved with

27:18

her down to Mexico and I

27:20

knew that she was crazy and

27:22

the way it came up was

27:24

she had called a friend of

27:26

mine and told her that sometimes

27:28

she stands over my bed with

27:30

a knife and just stares at

27:32

me and my son was there

27:34

also part of the time. And

27:36

I'm like, well, that's over. I

27:38

got to get out of this.

27:40

But the big thing was, I

27:42

was depressed because of my situation,

27:45

because I didn't see a way

27:47

out of it. You know, I

27:49

didn't see a way out. I

27:51

just couldn't see, I just couldn't

27:53

see a path. And it got

27:55

to where... When I was around

27:57

people I couldn't talk and and

27:59

and you know I did I

28:01

had no tribe You know at

28:03

all I was cut off from

28:05

all my friends and it's just

28:07

something I did to myself with

28:09

that move down to Mexico Which

28:11

I was there for three years

28:13

and and it was just the

28:15

worst time of my life and

28:17

I really didn't think I'd ever

28:19

come out of it I mean

28:21

I never thought I could even

28:23

get back to a place where

28:25

I could sit and have a

28:27

conversation with somebody. That's how depressed

28:29

I was And when I, it

28:31

was funny because I moved into

28:34

Mexico, I had the biggest truck

28:36

that Rider makes, pulling the biggest

28:38

trailer they make, my van pulling

28:40

the biggest trailer they make, all

28:42

headed down south to everything, moved

28:44

to Mexico. Why Mexico? Because my

28:46

girlfriend at the time did this

28:48

mosaic tile application to existing pottery.

28:50

And she would sell it. art

28:52

shows or craft shows, you know,

28:54

whatever. And it would sell really

28:56

fast, but it took her six

28:58

months to make any of it,

29:00

so I thought, why wouldn't you

29:02

just throw down to Mexico and

29:04

train a bunch of women how

29:06

to make it? And let her

29:08

orchestrate it. And I fucking did

29:10

it. I was part of that

29:12

sucking sound that Ross Perot was

29:14

talking about going to Mexico. Three

29:16

years later I had the exact

29:18

same equipment headed on north out

29:20

of Mexico with same exact truck

29:23

trailer everything. That was a bad

29:25

idea. Three years. Wow. But once

29:27

I had, once I, oh she

29:29

was so hot. Oh she was

29:31

so hot. And I'd never been

29:33

with a hot woman before. I'd

29:35

never been with, I mean it

29:37

was my girl, you know. and

29:39

uh... she was just so she

29:41

was so beautiful i'm like i'm

29:43

gonna i'll be with her even

29:45

though i hate her just so

29:47

i can look at her yeah

29:49

i just stare at her and

29:51

that'll be enough that's all i

29:53

need Turns out I needed a

29:55

little more than that. So you

29:57

can only tolerate so much. And

29:59

then I ended up marrying this

30:01

other girl that was horrible. I

30:03

mean, I mean, I know she's

30:05

probably listening to this right now,

30:07

so I don't mean horrible, but

30:09

horrible. And, but she always shirts

30:12

the internet for things about me,

30:14

so she could say, hey, this

30:16

person said, thanks for signing my

30:18

girlfriend's tickets. What are you out

30:20

there signing girlfriend's tickets? Yeah, I

30:22

was signing anybody's ticket, you know,

30:24

just always looking. Every time she'd

30:26

turn on her computer, it'd make

30:28

me sick to my stomach, because

30:30

I didn't know what she was

30:32

going to come up with, you

30:34

know, I'm no angel anyway. And,

30:36

uh, but so that girl's sister,

30:38

which she killed herself, She brought

30:40

it in and handed it to

30:42

me and all I did was

30:44

sit down on the couch and

30:46

she goes, oh now you loved

30:48

her. Now just give me a

30:50

minute, okay? Just give me a

30:52

minute. This is her sister doing

30:54

this? No, this is my wife.

30:56

She got the note from her,

30:59

she got the letter from her

31:01

sister and handed it to me

31:03

and she saw it affected me.

31:05

Oh, now you loved her. Jesus

31:07

Christ. What are you supposed to

31:09

do? Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah,

31:11

just give me a minute. Give

31:13

me a minute. Yeah, give me

31:15

a minute. Jesus, it's a human

31:17

being that you know that killed

31:19

themselves. How many people do you

31:21

think you know that have killed

31:23

themselves? Oh man, let's see, not

31:25

very many, that I really knew.

31:27

My best friend, one of my

31:29

best friends from childhood killed himself,

31:31

and but we thought he died

31:33

at the massacre in Waco because

31:35

that's, he was a big Koresh

31:37

guy. Oh boy, you missed the

31:39

massacre? Yeah, he missed the massacre,

31:41

but we thought he would. We

31:43

thought maybe he's there when it

31:45

was all going down, but he

31:48

wasn't. And eventually, it was an

31:50

odd thing anyway. He was, he

31:52

was a dear friend from childhood,

31:54

his dad was the music director

31:56

of my church, and he and

31:58

I used to bluff the floors

32:00

of the church for those big

32:02

bluff, that was our job on

32:04

one day a week that we'd

32:06

go down there. And we'd actually

32:08

seen Neil Young songs to the

32:10

top of our lungs, because we'd...

32:12

Well, I dreamed I saw the

32:14

nights, you know. We'd just sing

32:16

the fuck out of Neil Young

32:18

songs. That's the only tape I

32:20

had, you know. I know you

32:22

and him had a little problem,

32:24

but... I don't have no problem.

32:26

I know, you were so sweet

32:28

about that. I love that guy.

32:30

I love his music. He just

32:32

had, he didn't get it. No

32:34

he didn't. That's all it is.

32:37

That was a, that was a,

32:39

that was a dumb thing. Well

32:41

he just missed, he didn't understand

32:43

what was happening and nobody did.

32:45

I don't blame him. Nobody did.

32:47

I'd, I'd talk to him in

32:49

a heartbeat. Even though he pulled

32:51

his music and tried to get

32:53

me removed from Spotify. Right. He

32:55

just got, he missed, he didn't

32:57

know what was happening. He got

32:59

tricked. He got tricked. A lot

33:01

of people got tricked. A lot

33:03

of people thought that this was

33:05

the only way out. We had

33:07

to listen to these evil lying

33:09

fucks that were telling us that

33:11

everybody had to take this vaccine.

33:13

There's no other medicine available. And

33:15

if you didn't, everybody was going

33:17

to die. And, you know, he

33:19

got caught up in it. They

33:21

got us all though. They got

33:23

the whole country. You can't be

33:26

mad at the whole country. That's

33:28

crazy. Right, I don't want to

33:30

be mad at anybody anymore Ron

33:32

White. I don't either. As I

33:34

get older, I'm less and less

33:36

inclined. There's people I don't wish

33:38

to talk to. Like I don't

33:40

need that in my life. I

33:42

don't need whatever you bring in

33:44

my life, but I don't wish

33:46

bad. Yeah, I have really, really

33:48

healthy boundaries when it comes to

33:50

people that don't make me feel

33:52

good. You know, I just don't,

33:54

I just won't hang around. Yeah,

33:56

I don't wanna be around and

33:58

confront them like, who cares? Yeah,

34:00

no. Good luck to you, I'll

34:02

give you a hug. I got

34:04

some other shit going on. Yeah,

34:06

I have friends. But you know

34:08

what, I tell you what makes

34:10

you a good friend. When you

34:12

get successful, and I'll just talk

34:15

about successful like I am. you

34:17

know that because there's something to

34:19

gain and that's true with you

34:21

too I mean that you know

34:23

you you hold a lot of

34:25

power and you have something a

34:27

lot of people fucking want and

34:29

I know that because I have

34:31

a box of and I should

34:33

have brought him and given him

34:35

to you anyway I'll bring him

34:37

to the club tonight but it's

34:39

just a guy I met that

34:41

owns a sunglasses for hunting and

34:43

he Who wears sunglasses when they

34:45

hunt? I don't know. Nobody? You

34:47

can't wear them when you... Well,

34:49

I guess maybe some people probably

34:51

do. I bet rifle hunters do.

34:53

Yeah, they... He said that one

34:55

of them were specifically for bow

34:57

hunting that makes you see the

34:59

target better or something. Oh, interesting.

35:01

Okay. So he's got an invention.

35:04

You know, I don't know I

35:06

don't hunt so I don't really

35:08

know anything about hunting and glasses

35:10

He just said he's gonna send

35:12

a box would you give him

35:14

to Joe and I said yeah,

35:16

I'll give him to him and

35:18

I didn't so I would think

35:20

the glasses would get in the

35:22

way because you know when you

35:24

Shoot with a bow there's a

35:26

thing called a peep site so

35:28

you have your string and in

35:30

your string is What one of

35:32

things that's sewn into your string

35:34

is this little plastic circle sure

35:36

Do you know it is? Yeah.

35:38

Okay, so you know it lines

35:40

up with the scope, the housing

35:42

of the bow? No, I don't

35:44

know that. So where the peep

35:46

site is when you draw back

35:48

and you don't look through the...

35:50

through the string, you look to

35:53

the circle that's on the string,

35:55

it's sewed into the string, and

35:57

that circle, you line it up

35:59

exactly with your site housing. And

36:01

so where your pin is, it's

36:03

all about like staying calm and

36:05

keeping that pin there and you

36:07

want to keep it all like

36:09

connected together. So my eyes like

36:11

right there, like right next to

36:13

this, this peep site. If I

36:15

had glasses, it might get in

36:17

the way. You know what I

36:19

mean? Because the string is touching

36:21

my nose and the thing is

36:23

right there. And I'm just drawing

36:25

back and I'm looking at it

36:27

like that, right through it. I'll

36:29

give them to you, see what

36:31

you think. I don't know anybody,

36:33

but I know some hunters that

36:35

have glasses, so there must be

36:37

a way to adjust. I don't

36:39

know. That's what you told me

36:42

though. Okay. I'll try it out.

36:44

I'm open to anything. You never

36:46

know. And anything that makes you

36:48

good at that makes you good

36:50

at that. Like, I meet a

36:52

guy and he's like, I'm a

36:54

bow hunter. I'm like, oh, okay.

36:56

Oh, I already went. What I'm

36:58

saying is this. Go ahead. What

37:00

I'm saying is this. That you're

37:02

one of the only friends that

37:04

I have that'll say, no, that's

37:06

fucked up, right? You don't agree

37:08

with me to make me feel

37:10

better because you have something I

37:12

have something you need. Right. You

37:14

know, you'll go ahead and go,

37:16

nah. Every now on that. This

37:18

episode is brought to you by

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38:39

Visit betterhelp.com/J-R-E to get 10% off

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your first month. That's Better Help,

38:43

H-E-L-P,.com/J-J-R-E. Well, that Green Room's great

38:45

for that. A lot of this,

38:48

because everybody knows that everybody loves

38:50

everybody loves everybody loves everybody, everybody,

38:52

so everybody can just talk openly

38:54

about anything, about anything. Like if

38:56

you have like some dumb argument with

38:58

someone, someone will come in and go, yeah,

39:00

I think he's right. Yeah. Yeah. And you

39:03

gotta go, oh, really? What? Okay, let

39:05

me think about it. You need that your

39:07

life. You don't want to be a tyrant.

39:09

No. You know, and that's what

39:11

happens to a lot of successful

39:13

people is they get real insecure

39:15

and so they become kind of

39:18

a tyrant and they don't want

39:20

to listen to anybody else. You

39:22

know, you see that with people

39:24

that are like on shows that

39:26

they run the show, it's the

39:28

show's all about them, you know,

39:30

they're the show. And they're, you

39:32

know, they're the producer, an executive

39:34

producer, and the cast all kisses

39:36

their ass, and they're at the

39:38

top of the fucking casting call

39:40

or whatever it is, the call

39:42

sheet. Yeah, it's a bad place to

39:45

be, you don't want to be there.

39:47

Don't do it. You just, you got

39:49

to resist the urge. My

39:51

Iowasca place

39:54

down in

39:56

Costa Rica. So

40:00

I went four years ago, right?

40:02

And that's when I quit drinking.

40:04

Right. Which you know I did,

40:06

right? You know I quit drinking.

40:08

I quit too. When? A month

40:10

ago. I knew that you weren't

40:12

drinking. Yeah, I think I'm done.

40:15

For no reason. Other than it's

40:17

not good for you. Yeah. No,

40:19

I didn't have to. I enjoyed

40:21

it. Right. No, you were having

40:23

a good time. I was watching.

40:25

But the days after drinking were

40:27

just too rough. And I'm like,

40:29

what kind of a moron who

40:31

takes so good care of his

40:33

body is poison himself a couple

40:36

of days a week for fun?

40:38

You know, why am I doing

40:40

that? And then I'm like, well,

40:42

will I have the same amount

40:44

of fun if I don't poison

40:46

myself? Turns out, yes. Exactly. Right.

40:48

Well, there's more than one way

40:50

to skin a cat. I mean,

40:52

you haven't quit everything, right? Exactly.

40:55

Yeah, and I'm just skinning the

40:57

cat a different way. Tell me

40:59

about your cat. Well, I'm gonna

41:01

play some eco-ros. Did they play

41:03

those while you went through the...

41:05

There we go. Jamie's got them

41:07

already. So what's that? This is

41:09

the songs that a lot of

41:11

the shaman liked to play while

41:13

you're tripping balls. the hallucination will

41:16

dance to the songs. Oh wow.

41:18

There's certain songs, you're like, I

41:20

don't get it. Like the Grateful

41:22

Dead? I've never been on acid

41:24

at a dead concert, but they

41:26

say, if you are, you get

41:28

it. So like I'm missing that

41:30

part. Right. You know? So to

41:32

me, it's like, it's just this

41:35

jam music, which is fine, but

41:37

I'd rather listen to Skinner. You

41:39

know what I mean? And it

41:41

was the original skin, the real

41:43

skinnered before the plane crashed. No,

41:45

I'm just saying, these guys are

41:47

putting show together. I'm sure. Ricky

41:49

Medlock, playing Alan Collins' play, they

41:51

had two other guitar players. but

41:53

it is a band. I mean

41:56

they are nailing this shit. I

41:58

had tears coming up my eyes

42:00

during Fucking Free Bird for a

42:02

lot of reasons. Number one, I

42:04

saw them in 73. Me and

42:06

Steve Cook, who was my best

42:08

friend all the day died. And

42:10

Ronnie Van Zant was lighting joints.

42:12

And he was handing them out

42:14

into the crowd. Well, me and

42:17

Steve had worked our way up

42:19

to the front. He handed one

42:21

of them to me, and everybody

42:23

else was taking a hit. I

42:25

just stuck it in my pocket

42:27

and went in the bathroom and

42:29

smoked it because it was illegal

42:31

then. And I was listening to

42:33

Skitt. Well, Sunday night, I'm at

42:36

the scanner show. There's cops where

42:38

I was, and there was outhouses

42:40

right next to it, where you

42:42

go through the fence. And I

42:44

told my girlfriend, I'll be right

42:46

back, I was over there, I

42:48

was in the out house smoking

42:50

a joint, listening to the skinner,

42:52

and I'm like, well I haven't

42:54

changed much in 50 fucking years,

42:57

you know, the exact same thing.

42:59

Some songs, people just nailed it

43:01

and it stays great forever. You

43:03

never get tired of free bird.

43:05

But there's... That guitar solo? Yeah.

43:07

And they just fucking hammered at

43:09

home. I mean, it was so

43:11

good. I brought him on stage

43:13

at the Greek one time, maybe

43:16

20 years ago or 15 years

43:18

ago, I don't know. And it

43:20

was fun because I got to

43:22

say, I got to say that

43:24

when I was 16 years old,

43:26

we were at the Schenard Show

43:28

and we had taken enough mushrooms

43:30

to kill an average teenager, but

43:32

we weren't average teenagers. And so

43:34

it kind of brought back all

43:37

those memories, you know, and then

43:39

Washington played a game. It's kind

43:41

of weird because especially when I

43:43

come back from arrhythmia, which is

43:45

my place out there, that I

43:47

always come back emotional and kind

43:49

of full of love and forgiveness

43:51

and those kinds of things. That's

43:53

the kind of thing. I learned

43:55

from those hallucinations. Isn't it crazy

43:58

that that's illegal? Yeah, to feel

44:00

good. You gotta go to another

44:02

country to be a better person.

44:04

You gotta go to another country.

44:06

You gotta leave the land of

44:08

the free. Leave the land of

44:10

freedom to go to another country

44:12

that's much more lawless and take

44:14

in the divine. and come back

44:17

a better person. And it's crazy

44:19

and I also said that I

44:21

don't think it's for everybody you

44:23

know I'm not somebody out there

44:25

just going yeah you gotta you

44:27

gotta do this because I think

44:29

you have to be open to

44:31

some things you know you have

44:33

to be open to hey maybe

44:35

I'm wrong about everything you know

44:38

maybe there is if you're not

44:40

open to it you'll get hit

44:42

hard. Well and that's why it's

44:44

not for everybody because I you

44:46

know I've seen people wig down

44:48

there. I know you can get

44:50

Iowaski locally and have they have,

44:52

you know, people that are, I

44:54

don't know where they got their

44:57

shaman title from, but you can

44:59

do it here. Yeah. But I

45:01

know that there, you know, it's

45:03

a licensed medical facility with doctors.

45:05

It's the only one in the

45:07

world that's a licensed medical facility.

45:09

And it's, and they're prepared when

45:11

people wig. You know, they know

45:13

what to do. they know to

45:15

hold you down. Yeah, and they

45:18

do too. They all fucking bind

45:20

you up and wait till it

45:22

to clear because they know that

45:24

you're at a point in this

45:26

that you're going through some heavy

45:28

shit. One of them was an

45:30

NFL player last time I was

45:32

there and this guy was fucking

45:34

huge place for Buffalo and and

45:36

he just and I was like

45:39

God if if you had to

45:41

pick somebody to wig you would

45:43

say please don't let it be

45:45

that fucking dude. Did he wig?

45:47

Oh no! He wig big time.

45:49

Oh no. And started just screaming.

45:51

the fuck away from me oh

45:53

no which will you know that

45:55

kind of you know you got

45:58

70 people in this room that

46:00

are tripping and so no what

46:02

a what a bummer and it

46:04

was and but they got big

46:06

guys too oh and so they

46:08

just got him out of the

46:10

room got him called and he

46:12

didn't leave you know he just

46:14

he was going through some shit

46:16

mmm the first time I went

46:19

there this girl from Japan started

46:21

kicking and screaming and they took

46:23

her outside and they had to

46:25

fucking subdue her but at the

46:27

end of the day the person

46:29

with the biggest smile on their

46:31

face was her because she worked

46:33

through some shit that I can't

46:35

even talk about that I happen

46:38

to know what it was but

46:40

it ain't worth knowing and but

46:42

she found pure fucking joy and

46:44

peace in her life and you

46:46

could see it in her face

46:48

you know And I was wondering

46:50

why when she was wigging out,

46:52

why is nobody flipping out but

46:54

me, because the people that worked

46:56

there weren't flipping out at all,

46:59

because they've seen it. And there's

47:01

nothing they haven't seen. There's been

47:03

18,000 people through that facility, and

47:05

so they've seen it all. But

47:07

they just know how to handle

47:09

it. Well, I wonder if you're

47:11

just in some mansion in Beverly

47:13

Hills or whatever. If there's somebody

47:15

there that knows how to handle

47:17

it, probably not. Probably not. Especially

47:20

if you don't know what you're

47:22

going to get hit with. Yeah,

47:24

and you need to be in

47:26

a really safe place where people

47:28

know how to guide you through

47:30

it. Yeah. You know, it's not

47:32

something I think you want to

47:34

grab a handful of and go

47:36

sit in a fucking closet, you

47:39

know, and try to figure it

47:41

out for yourself. So that's the

47:43

real weirdness of any kind of

47:45

a psychedelic journey. Is that you're

47:47

probably going to be... going through

47:49

some shit and someone could either

47:51

manipulate you during that time or

47:53

help you during that time. And

47:55

there are people that will manipulate.

47:57

Absolutely. And that's why, you know,

48:00

that's why I go to this

48:02

place. That's not that easy to

48:04

go to. Just because it's so

48:06

safe. You know, it's just set

48:08

up perfectly for what they're trying

48:10

to do. And it was this

48:12

guy's. Dream to do that to

48:14

make it accessible to regular people.

48:16

So back then when he opened

48:19

up you had to go to

48:21

a Corrugated 10 shack in Peru

48:23

or wherever to get this stuff

48:25

and he said I want to

48:27

make a place that's safe to

48:29

go and People feel comfortable and

48:31

you know, so isn't it kind

48:33

of crazy that that's illegal? I

48:35

mean, it's kind of the weirdest

48:37

thing of all time that we

48:40

haven't just as a society went.

48:42

Okay, why are all these people

48:44

going to these places? Okay, when

48:46

they come back, do they have

48:48

positive experiences? Does it help them?

48:50

Yeah, a lot of them. Okay,

48:52

why don't we do that here?

48:54

It should be that simple. Should

48:56

be that simple. It should be

48:58

so simple. Yeah, there was a

49:01

guy there that was on a

49:03

scholarship they had for basically wounded

49:05

warriors that are going through heavy

49:07

PTSD. There's an organization that's sending

49:09

guys to arrhythmia. So I got

49:11

to talk to him a lot

49:13

while he was there and he

49:15

was a psychologist and but and

49:17

he was he was fucked up

49:20

and but I kind of got

49:22

to watch his transformation a little

49:24

bit watch this guy's coming around

49:26

and I'd seen that and I'd

49:28

seen the transformation in myself where

49:30

I could just not be so

49:32

angry and not be and not

49:34

hold all this hate you know

49:36

that that I that takes so

49:38

much energy to fucking control. and

49:41

to have them really show me

49:43

a way to let all that

49:45

stuff go, you know, to be

49:47

a happier person. You know, it's

49:49

hard to, I really don't understand

49:51

Iowaska, so it's really hard to

49:53

explain it to somebody else, you

49:55

know, but the... But I don't

49:57

think anybody really understands it. Yeah,

50:00

right. And I know there's some

50:02

stuff that's stronger than that, but

50:04

I don't know what it's called.

50:06

I begane, you mean? Is that

50:08

what it is? I begane is

50:10

the one that people use for

50:12

addiction. There's a place called Beyond

50:14

that's in Mexico that does that.

50:16

Rick Perry was telling us about

50:18

that. A lot of former governor

50:21

Rick Perry is not part of

50:23

that. He really wants to bring

50:25

Ibegan to Texas and have treatment

50:27

centers. We can't be gambling here.

50:29

I think they can get Ibegan.

50:31

I think especially with a Republican

50:33

like Rick Perry who's really concerned

50:35

about the mental health of veterans

50:37

because I think that's where it

50:39

really shines. Ibegan in particular helps

50:42

a lot of people. Absolutely gives

50:44

you like a review of your

50:46

life apparently I've never experienced it

50:48

But the people that have have

50:50

very positive things to say about

50:52

it and it's incredibly good at

50:54

helping people get over addictions It

50:56

has a very high success rate

50:58

for one treatment. I think it's

51:01

in the 80% And then if

51:03

you do two treatments, it's in

51:05

the mid 90s. That's fucking amazing.

51:07

Yeah, people that never go back

51:09

to the drugs. Never, never go

51:11

back to whatever it is, gambling,

51:13

whatever you have, whatever's wrong with

51:15

you. All you gotta do is

51:17

figure out what's wrong with you.

51:19

Yeah, you gotta figure out why

51:22

you're doing that. Like, what is

51:24

this pathway that I keep going

51:26

down that's sabotaging my whole life

51:28

and why can I not resist

51:30

it? Why can I not resist

51:32

it? What is it? Well that

51:34

was the question I had with

51:36

myself. Because I drank like a

51:38

fool for years. You don't say.

51:41

It was funny because whenever I

51:43

was single again and I was

51:45

in the green room and I

51:47

said maybe I'll start drinking again

51:49

and everybody at one time went

51:51

no. I was just kidding. I

51:53

was just kidding. I was just

51:55

kidding. Well you quit like that

51:57

though. You did like. were gone.

51:59

I did and but I went

52:02

to to to rhythm me with

52:04

intention. I wanted to know why

52:06

I was doing this to myself

52:08

and why I could not see

52:10

a way to quit and it

52:12

was so tied up in my

52:14

persona my stage presence who I

52:16

really was at the time and

52:18

I'm like why is this all

52:20

tied to me and why can't

52:23

I shake it? And and so

52:25

With that I also went through

52:27

hypnosis because I had to get

52:29

sober before I went to Because

52:31

that's not what their deal is.

52:33

They're not a treatment facility It

52:35

could be a byproduct of it,

52:37

but they're like we're not we're

52:39

not gonna we don't have detox

52:42

here You know, so you have

52:44

to quit some other way and

52:46

and once you've been sober for

52:48

a month you can come down

52:50

here which is exactly what I

52:52

did I came up with a

52:54

way to do that through Hypnosis

52:56

which I thought was pretty effective

52:58

and and and and and but

53:00

I got sober once before in

53:03

one of those rehabs in Malibu

53:05

for 90 grand and which was

53:07

at the time I was spiraling

53:09

you know I was I was

53:11

living in a five-star hotel in

53:13

Beverly Hills I was doing a

53:15

bunch of blow I was screwing

53:17

expensive hookers which is exactly my

53:19

life plan you know I'm like

53:22

okay here it is and it

53:24

ended up feeling pretty hollow you

53:26

know and I ended up going

53:28

there And I stayed sober for

53:30

about maybe six months or something

53:32

like that, but it was white

53:34

knuckle the whole fucking time of,

53:36

you know, no fun. But when

53:38

I did it, the way I

53:40

did it, when I checked into

53:43

that facility, I got the sweat,

53:45

night sweats, so bad when I

53:47

quit. that I would, they had

53:49

two beds in the new people's

53:51

things and I would soak the

53:53

sheets in one of them and

53:55

move to the other bed and

53:57

soak the sheets in that one.

53:59

I was detoxing. time. Never happened

54:01

this time. I never had a

54:04

night sweat, never regretted it, never

54:06

thought about it again, never tempted

54:08

to drink again, and you know,

54:10

and I, I own number one

54:12

tequila still and and it's there

54:14

at the Green Room every night

54:16

and I'm not even, it doesn't

54:18

even bother me a bit. That's

54:20

interesting. And that's what the big

54:23

fear a lot of people have

54:25

is how I still be around

54:27

bars. Right. And yeah, is it

54:29

a little awkward at first? Yes,

54:31

and do I hang out in

54:33

bars all the time other than

54:35

our club? No, I don't. I

54:37

mean, I'll go listen to music

54:39

if there's something, but just to

54:41

go to a bar and hang

54:44

out, I just don't do it.

54:46

Right. for whatever reason. Well, it's

54:48

not that much fun being around

54:50

drunks when you're sober. No, it's

54:52

really not. You gotta be in

54:54

the vibe of the drunks to

54:56

appreciate drunk talk. Yeah. When you're

54:58

sober and someone's drunk and they're

55:00

telling you some fucking story about

55:03

their boss being a douche bag,

55:05

it's like whoa. Right. So, and

55:07

I also have a tendency, a

55:09

natural tendency, to just kind of

55:11

isolate anyway, you know, and so

55:13

I really... That's one of the

55:15

things I love about the club

55:17

is it gets me out of

55:19

the house. It gets me to

55:21

go down there where my friends

55:24

are and do what I do

55:26

for a living and what I

55:28

do for fun both. I think

55:30

a lot of people have that

55:32

problem, that isolation problem, you know?

55:34

Yeah. Yeah, because I think that

55:36

I think that people like you

55:38

and I, I think a lot

55:40

gets dumped on us, you know.

55:42

because I'm the, of all the

55:45

friends that I know that I've

55:47

known for a long while, I'm

55:49

the only one that has, that's

55:51

been very successful, not out of

55:53

my comic friends, but out of

55:55

my regular friends, and, and, and

55:57

it seems like I get... Just

56:00

I have to take in a lot of

56:02

stuff and I never knew how to get

56:04

rid of it. So I would just get

56:06

to the point where I was full and

56:08

I couldn't take anymore and that's when I

56:10

would isolate myself. Right. Too many people want

56:12

something. Too many people want something. That's why

56:15

I gravitate towards you is because I

56:17

know you don't want jack shit for

56:19

me except for me to be your

56:21

buddy. and let us be brothers in

56:23

comedy and whatever. And life. And life.

56:25

And so, you know, so that's really

56:27

good for me. Even today, you know,

56:29

that's what gets me out of the

56:31

house sometimes, you know. Oh, me too.

56:34

I mean, I love being home. I

56:36

love being home with my family hanging

56:38

out, but my comedy family, I

56:40

love being around too. And that's

56:42

what I feel like. I feel like

56:45

when, especially when comics are in town

56:47

that I don't get to see that

56:49

often. Who are those two actors that

56:51

were at the club the other

56:53

day? That was so much fun

56:55

to have them in there. It

56:58

was... Which night? Fock, I don't

57:00

know. We get a lot of

57:02

vistas. When Woody was there? No. Uh, oh... What's him?

57:04

Will Arnett and Brad Cooper? Yeah, Brad Cooper and... Well, it was

57:06

fun to have them in the green room because, you know, we,

57:08

we, we, we, we, we, we, we all, we're all around each

57:10

other all the time. It was fun to have a new people

57:12

in there with the, with the stories we've never heard. Oh, I

57:14

wasn't there for that one. Yeah, it was, it was cool as

57:16

shit, you know, just them hanging out, you know, good guys, you

57:18

know, what he was, you weren't here when what he was here?

57:20

No. Oh, oh my God, he was so much fun. Oh, he

57:22

was so much fun. He was so much fun. He was so

57:24

much fun. He was so much fun. He was so much fun.

57:26

He was so much fun. He was so much fun. He's so much fun. He's

57:28

so much fun. He's so much fun. He's so much fun. He's so much

57:30

fun. He's so much fun. He's so much fun. He's so much fun. He

57:32

Did he do your show? No, he

57:35

did my show, but then that

57:37

was nights before that and he

57:39

just wanted to come to the club.

57:41

He's been to the club a couple

57:43

of times now. Harrelson? Yeah. Oh,

57:45

I didn't know that. Yeah, he's

57:48

just been hanging out. Fuck, I

57:50

always wanted to meet that. Oh, I

57:52

always wanted to meet that. Oh,

57:54

he's so nice. We just all

57:56

hung out in the green room

57:58

and he was just like... So

58:00

easy. He's just a genuine dude. He

58:02

don't even have a phone. You can't

58:04

even get a hold of him. Really?

58:06

Yeah, he don't have a phone. Doesn't

58:09

do email. Fuck you. Oh shit. Yeah,

58:11

he's like a, got an assistant that

58:13

handles everything. Yeah, it's probably a freeing

58:15

thing. You know, it's just be, just

58:17

stop. Just stop. Leave me alone. Right?

58:20

You know. Well, I don't answer emails

58:22

anyway. But it's also like, let me

58:24

know what I actually, let me think

58:26

about what I think about things instead

58:28

of being inundated by all these other

58:31

people's thoughts constantly all day long, which

58:33

is valuable. It's good to get other

58:35

people's perspectives on things. I think it

58:37

enriches you, but at a certain point,

58:39

Tom, become captive to it. And I

58:41

think there's just too many people that

58:44

are captive to other people's thoughts. I

58:46

think so too, that's why I'm so

58:48

close-minded. I really am. I'm truly close-minded

58:50

and I think you're open-minded and I

58:52

struggle with that because just letting people

58:55

pour information into my head, you know,

58:57

I just tend to avoid it. I

58:59

am engaged, you know, in that I

59:01

do follow things closely and not the

59:03

stock market, but everything else. That's been

59:06

a little... Don't follow the stock market

59:08

right now. It's so baffling. It's so

59:10

crazy, like what is going on? Like

59:12

the whole world's mad at us? Trump's

59:14

playing golf and in between swings. He's

59:17

on the phone with presidents of countries.

59:19

We're gonna need more money! Yeah, that's

59:21

what somebody told me the other day.

59:23

Is he playing checkers? Is he playing

59:25

chess? He's playing golf. He's playing golf.

59:28

Like what does that mean? Everybody wants

59:30

to think there's some like grand plan

59:32

to it. Well, think the grand plan

59:34

is, look... You know, we remember back

59:36

when the, was it the 92 elections

59:38

when Ross Perot was in? So when

59:41

Ross Perot laid out what happened? Do

59:43

you remember during that debate? out what

59:45

happened with the tariffs so that like

59:47

they when we try to sell stuff

59:49

over there we get a high tariff

59:52

it's like a 35% tariff but they

59:54

don't get tariffs when it comes over

59:56

here it's not the same it's not

59:58

like you know you guys there's a

1:00:00

tax on everybody if you want to

1:00:03

sell your goods to buy American products

1:00:05

if you want to sell your products

1:00:07

in America we get a tax that

1:00:09

tax goes to the fucking grid or

1:00:11

whatever the hell they're fixing with it

1:00:14

right Rossboro was laying it out like

1:00:16

this is how all the jobs went

1:00:18

to Mexico because have you ever seen

1:00:20

that Jamie? It's it's see if you

1:00:22

could find it. It's a great speech

1:00:25

because Ross when he talked about the

1:00:27

giant sucking sound. Yes, you actually mentioned

1:00:29

that earlier in the podcast. Yes, that's

1:00:31

it. That's it. That's funny. Did you

1:00:33

just see that recently or something? No,

1:00:36

I just remember it. Oh boy, the

1:00:38

giant. He would have been a great

1:00:40

president. He would have been a great

1:00:42

president. big ears, you know, and he

1:00:44

didn't come across well on TV. He

1:00:46

was an independent and nobody was voting

1:00:49

for independent. By the way, they changed

1:00:51

the whole way debates work after this

1:00:53

because it used to be if you

1:00:55

got 5% of the vote in the

1:00:57

primary that you could be a part

1:01:00

of the presidential debates. And that's not

1:01:02

the case anymore. It was 5% in

1:01:04

a poll. I forget what the number

1:01:06

was that you had to reach, but

1:01:08

it wasn't a high threshold. And then

1:01:11

you could be a part of the

1:01:13

debate. And they changed the shit out

1:01:15

of that after this, because Ross Perot

1:01:17

tanked it. They thought H.W. was going

1:01:19

to go for a second term. And

1:01:22

meanwhile, Ross Perot fucked it up, because

1:01:24

a lot of people that would have

1:01:26

voted for Bush, voted for Ross, voted

1:01:28

for Ross, and the people that were

1:01:30

already going to vote for Clinton, voted

1:01:33

for Clinton, voted for Clinton, and voted

1:01:35

for Clinton, and voted for Clinton. And

1:01:37

you can move your factory south of

1:01:39

the border, pay a dollar an hour

1:01:41

for labor, hire a young 25, that's

1:01:43

assumed you've been in business for a

1:01:46

long time, you've got a mature workforce,

1:01:48

pay a dollar an hour for your

1:01:50

labor, have no health care, that's the

1:01:52

most expensive single element making a car,

1:01:54

have no environmental controls, no pollution controls,

1:01:57

and no retirement, and you don't care

1:01:59

about anything but making it. money there

1:02:01

will be a giant sucking sound there.

1:02:03

There it is right there. If the

1:02:05

people send me to Washington the first

1:02:08

thing I'll do is study that 2000

1:02:10

page agreement and make sure it's a

1:02:12

two-way street. One last point here I've

1:02:14

called I've decided I was dumb and

1:02:16

didn't understand it so I call the

1:02:19

who's who of the folks who've been

1:02:21

around it. And I said, why won't

1:02:23

everybody go south? They said, we'll be

1:02:25

disruptive. I said, for how long? I

1:02:27

finally got them up for 12 to

1:02:30

15 years. And I said, well, how

1:02:32

does it stop being disruptive? And that

1:02:34

is when their jobs come up from

1:02:36

a dollar now to $6 an hour,

1:02:38

and ours go down to $6 an

1:02:41

hour, and then it's leveled again. But

1:02:43

in the meantime, you've wrecked the country

1:02:45

with these kinds of deals. Yeah, and

1:02:47

they did it all for money and

1:02:49

they did it all because they were

1:02:51

greedy. They were already rich. Right. And

1:02:54

if we had just gotten those motherfuckers

1:02:56

from Iowa, geez, as Christ, they'd have

1:02:58

smoothed the fuck out. They would have

1:03:00

said, oh, okay, okay, okay, let's make

1:03:02

America great again. I don't understand the

1:03:05

trade war with Canada, because if you

1:03:07

ever met a Canadian that had $35

1:03:09

in his pocket, no. they're all broke

1:03:11

they have $22 that's and they'll buy

1:03:13

you a beer you know I love

1:03:16

Canadians I've always yeah they're broke so

1:03:18

I have any money up there come

1:03:20

they don't have any money because it's

1:03:22

socialism you know they just they I

1:03:24

think it's a great place don't you

1:03:27

love Canada I love it well they

1:03:29

have socialized medicine but it's not it's

1:03:31

a capitalist society it is but socialized

1:03:33

medicine and it's expensive so they what

1:03:35

how much what percentage did Canadians pay

1:03:38

in taxes So I don't know. Let's

1:03:40

find that out. What is uh, what's

1:03:42

the Canadian tax rate? I know it's

1:03:44

higher than Americans. I know mine's a

1:03:46

bitch. And when you go over there

1:03:48

you have to pay taxes too. Like

1:03:51

if you do a gig. Yeah, you

1:03:53

have to pay taxes. Yeah, you pay

1:03:55

Canadian taxes. And you get paid in

1:03:57

Canadian dollars. I'm not going up there

1:03:59

much for shows. But you know. So

1:04:02

here it is Canadian Canada's top federal

1:04:04

income. tax rate is 33 percent, while

1:04:06

the U.S. is 37 percent. Right. However,

1:04:08

when combining federal provincial state taxes, Canadians

1:04:10

often face higher marginal rates across various

1:04:13

income levels. That's interesting, that there's only

1:04:15

33 percent, ours is 37. I thought

1:04:17

ours was lower than theirs. I thought

1:04:19

ours was 40. Well, it is when

1:04:21

you get to a certain tax bracket,

1:04:24

correct? Isn't it? Ours

1:04:26

changes when you get higher, right?

1:04:28

Yeah, it does. 33% on the

1:04:31

portion over $246,000. What's ours in

1:04:33

terms of like the highest tax

1:04:35

bracket? What's the highest US? Is

1:04:38

it 37? That's what it is?

1:04:40

What's really crazy to me is

1:04:42

when people say the rich should

1:04:44

pay more taxes. Okay, fine. But

1:04:47

where do you think that's going?

1:04:49

Where's that going? Where's the money

1:04:51

going? Is the money going to

1:04:54

the federal government? Do you think

1:04:56

they're good at it? Do you

1:04:58

think they're good at managing your

1:05:00

money? Have you paid attention to

1:05:03

all this shit? Elon's fucking uncovered.

1:05:05

37% is when you make over

1:05:07

$609,000 a year. That's you, motherfucker.

1:05:10

Well, that's me last month. This

1:05:12

is the thing. It's like, I'm

1:05:14

happy to pay tax if I

1:05:17

thought that they were doing a

1:05:19

great job. But it's just you

1:05:21

are being strong-armed into giving money

1:05:23

to people that do a really

1:05:26

shitty job of protecting your money

1:05:28

and investing it in the country.

1:05:30

It's a lot of it is

1:05:33

going to bureaucracy and bullshit and

1:05:35

a bunch of things that you

1:05:37

don't have any say in. If

1:05:39

you could like... Imagine

1:05:42

if you like pick what you, you

1:05:44

know, if you had like a whole

1:05:46

tax sheet, would you like your money

1:05:48

to go to? Would you like your

1:05:51

money to go to overthrowing governments? No.

1:05:53

Like, what if the federal government's budget

1:05:55

was entirely based on the will of

1:05:58

the people? Like, you get to choose.

1:06:00

Like, how much your money you want

1:06:02

to put into drone strikes? in Yemen.

1:06:04

I say I don't want zero of

1:06:07

my money going to that. You know,

1:06:09

how many, how much money do you

1:06:11

want to go to this or that

1:06:13

or clean water? Okay, clean water sounds

1:06:16

good. You know, how much infrastructure? If,

1:06:18

yeah, fix the streets. Well, I'm kind

1:06:20

of, I agree with you. And I've

1:06:23

just heard you say this, that everybody

1:06:25

should have access to health care and

1:06:27

education. 100%. The whole country. The whole

1:06:29

country. Everybody. That would rise us all

1:06:32

up. 100%. Less losers. That's how you

1:06:34

make America great. Less losers. Less losers.

1:06:36

Less losers. Less people that are saddled

1:06:39

down with a lifetime of debt because

1:06:41

they broke their leg. That's crazy. uh...

1:06:43

friends are all saddled with ninety thousand

1:06:45

dollars worth of fucking student loan debt

1:06:48

and uh... subsidized and my son was

1:06:50

lucky enough to that i had enough

1:06:52

money to pay for his you know

1:06:55

and uh... and so he doesn't have

1:06:57

that burden but god damn it nobody

1:06:59

should have that burden it for an

1:07:01

education and it's just a for-profit institution

1:07:04

that roped you into thinking that that

1:07:06

was necessary that you have to be

1:07:08

and by the way you can get

1:07:11

as good in education right now online

1:07:13

as is available anywhere on earth. If

1:07:15

you have the discipline, if you have

1:07:17

the discipline, yeah. That's what's so wild.

1:07:20

That's what's so fascinating about this time

1:07:22

is that it is basically obsolete and

1:07:24

yet people are still paying $70,000 a

1:07:26

year for it and more. Like what

1:07:29

is Harvard's yearly tuition, Jamie? What do

1:07:31

you guess? I was like, I eat

1:07:33

50. Yeah, at least 50. Imagine if

1:07:36

you're a middle class guy and you

1:07:38

got two kids and they do real

1:07:40

good and they don't have scholarships and

1:07:42

you got to pay for them? I

1:07:45

can't imagine. I mean I don't see

1:07:47

how people do it. I mean I

1:07:49

really don't. Oh boy, the total cost

1:07:52

of attendance including fees, housing and food

1:07:54

reaching around $82, $82,000. Undergraduate tuition is

1:07:56

$56, $56. $50 for a year. That's

1:07:58

a lot of money, man. Oof. That's

1:08:01

one year. Oof. And if you drop

1:08:03

out after one year, then you have

1:08:05

nothing and you're down 80 grand. But

1:08:08

if you make it through those four

1:08:10

years, now you're 200 grand in the

1:08:12

hole that you owe. And then you

1:08:14

have to get a job and then

1:08:17

you get a job that pays 50.

1:08:19

And you're like, what? Yeah. Oh my

1:08:21

God. I'll never pay this off. And

1:08:23

then you have to throw a couple

1:08:26

of kids on top of that and...

1:08:28

You know some wild, there's people out

1:08:30

there, their Social Security is getting docked

1:08:33

because they owe student loans. So that

1:08:35

take money out of your social security

1:08:37

to pay for your student loans because

1:08:39

the student loans is the one thing

1:08:42

you can never escape bankrupt It's so

1:08:44

crazy. It's cruel. It doesn't make any

1:08:46

sense. You're saddling an 18 year old

1:08:49

with the burden of a lifetime. Harvard

1:08:51

were off a free tuition for families

1:08:53

earning $200,000 or less a year. Oh,

1:08:55

that's great. That's a new thing. Offering

1:08:58

it to who? You can't even get

1:09:00

into Harvard, but it's still good. will

1:09:02

be free for students and families earning

1:09:05

$200,000 or less a year college announced

1:09:07

Monday. Harvard has long sought to open

1:09:09

our doors to the most talented students

1:09:11

no matter their financial circumstances. That's great.

1:09:14

Yeah, it is. That's great. I just

1:09:16

don't know if it's necessary. I think

1:09:18

it's probably necessary for kids to go

1:09:21

to school just to like a passage,

1:09:23

a rite of passage. Like I think

1:09:25

ceremonies and rites of passages are missing

1:09:27

in our society. And especially... I could

1:09:30

speak for young men, they don't know

1:09:32

when they're a man. Like, am I

1:09:34

a man yet? Like, there's some men

1:09:36

that, you know, in their 30s, their

1:09:39

dad's still yelling at them. Right? I

1:09:41

mean, it's like, when am I, when

1:09:43

am I, when am I an equal?

1:09:46

When am I, you know, we don't

1:09:48

have a ceremony, you know, in other

1:09:50

tribal societies and all throughout history, people

1:09:52

have had rituals, rights of passage rituals,

1:09:55

where people feel like, okay. We fucking

1:09:57

made it, you know. I give a

1:09:59

black belt ceremony, you got your black

1:10:02

belt. All right. I made it, you

1:10:04

know, I'm in. But, you know, so

1:10:06

I think there's a benefit in that

1:10:08

society. But then you gotta like unlearn

1:10:11

all this shit, your fucking crazy professors

1:10:13

are telling you. Did you go to

1:10:15

college? Yes, I went to you mass

1:10:18

Boston. Oh, wow, that's good school. Yeah,

1:10:20

right. Easy to get into. I only

1:10:22

went because I didn't want people thinking

1:10:24

I was a loser. That's the only

1:10:27

reason why I went. I just wasted

1:10:29

my time there. I went for three

1:10:31

years. Just wasting my time taking class

1:10:33

so I could tell people I was

1:10:36

going to college. Oh, I didn't waste

1:10:38

any time. I got kicked out of

1:10:40

high school in the 10th grade. So,

1:10:43

you know, my mind is an open

1:10:45

book there. A lot of the pages

1:10:47

aren't filled in. And I, you know

1:10:49

what, and I always kind of, I

1:10:52

regret. I regret. I regret that a

1:10:54

little bit, you know, that I didn't

1:10:56

go to college, that I didn't... What

1:10:59

do you regret about it? Well, just...

1:11:01

You know, well, number one, I think

1:11:03

I'd be smarter. But I don't know

1:11:05

what it is. And I've made it

1:11:08

just fine with what I've had, you

1:11:10

know, and I've got attention deficit disorder

1:11:12

and all these things. It really kept

1:11:15

me from doing traditional school work very

1:11:17

well. I'm not even sure that's real.

1:11:19

Attention deficit disorder? Yeah, I don't think

1:11:21

it's real. You don't? No. Let me

1:11:24

change your mind. I think there's a

1:11:26

lot of people that aren't interested in

1:11:28

a lot of things. But when they're

1:11:30

interested in it, when they say attention

1:11:33

deficit disorder, why are those guys so

1:11:35

good at video games? Like why are

1:11:37

they so good at things that aren't

1:11:40

school? I think it's just, I think

1:11:42

the humor, I think we could... categorize

1:11:44

it into a bunch of different like

1:11:46

disorders and problems. But I think a

1:11:49

lot of that is a way to

1:11:51

get you hooked on some sort of

1:11:53

pharmaceutical drug that's gonna fix whatever problem

1:11:56

you have that doesn't allow you to

1:11:58

sit in class and listen to some

1:12:00

boring. for fucking six hours. You got

1:12:02

no problem writing jokes, Ron White. You

1:12:05

got no problem performing. It's not like

1:12:07

there's not a thing that you can

1:12:09

excel at. You can pay attention. We're

1:12:12

on stage. I don't know. I don't

1:12:14

know about that. I think stand-up comedy.

1:12:16

Was the answer to every problem I

1:12:18

had no you know because that's what

1:12:21

I was good at you're a comic

1:12:23

you're you are a comic like that's

1:12:25

who you what you're supposed to do

1:12:28

but let me give you an example

1:12:30

That's my point is that there's a

1:12:32

lot of different like functions in society.

1:12:34

There's a lot of different roles in

1:12:37

society. I think they probably tagged ADD

1:12:39

to people that don't have it But

1:12:41

I know that I still have it

1:12:43

so if let's going to put together

1:12:46

a ceiling fan and hang it in

1:12:48

my roof, which I'm not. I could

1:12:50

no more do that than the man

1:12:53

and the moon without an adderall. If

1:12:55

I take an adderall, I'll read the

1:12:57

directions, I'll put the whole thing together

1:12:59

and hang it on, no problem. Without

1:13:02

it, I dare at it, I've tried.

1:13:04

You just keep, you're bored. You need

1:13:06

excitement. You just, you're a certain type

1:13:09

of dude who needs a certain type

1:13:11

of stimulation, which is why you like

1:13:13

the high wire act of performing live.

1:13:15

I don't think it's a disorder. I

1:13:18

think it's a superpower. Ah! I do.

1:13:20

Well, I like the sound of that.

1:13:22

I do. I think the ability to

1:13:25

pay attention to shit that's not interesting,

1:13:27

is not a disorder. Which is, you

1:13:29

know what's interesting and what's not. You

1:13:32

know to this like maybe I have

1:13:34

it too because this day when I'm

1:13:36

talking to someone they're saying something really

1:13:39

boring I go I want to run

1:13:41

away right you don't you don't hear

1:13:43

a word that's coming out of their

1:13:45

mouth and I just can't it's like

1:13:47

I just want to get out I'm

1:13:50

the same way that doesn't mean I

1:13:52

have a disorder I don't think I

1:13:54

have a disorder because I'm talking to

1:13:56

you I got no problem at all

1:13:59

well let's let's get two ceiling fans

1:14:01

out here yeah I'm sure not that

1:14:03

good at putting together a ceiling fan

1:14:05

either. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I

1:14:07

could do it. You just follow the

1:14:10

directions. You could follow directions. It's not

1:14:12

hard. It's just you wouldn't enjoy it.

1:14:14

But if there was something that you

1:14:16

enjoyed doing, like learning how to swing

1:14:19

a golf club better, then you could

1:14:21

pay attention. I do pay attention to

1:14:23

that. That's all I'm saying. I think

1:14:25

there's roles in this world. There's different

1:14:27

personalities fit perfectly in philosophy. Engineering, different

1:14:30

personalities. It's like, you just got to

1:14:32

find out what... what vibes with the

1:14:34

way you think and we all think

1:14:36

differently. We all have different backgrounds, we

1:14:39

all have different biology. You know, you

1:14:41

just got to find what is the

1:14:43

thing that like sinks up with the

1:14:45

way your mind works. And the problem

1:14:47

with traditional education is there, it was

1:14:50

designed by the Rockefeller family. Like the

1:14:52

school system in this country was designed

1:14:54

to create better factory workers. And soldiers

1:14:56

and to get them real early. That's

1:14:59

why they want to start you at

1:15:01

five because they figured out when you

1:15:03

start people at 12 or 13, they

1:15:05

already got their ideas of what the

1:15:07

world is and how the world works.

1:15:10

And I'm not fucking shooting somebody for

1:15:12

you. You know, so what they do

1:15:14

is they get you when you're five

1:15:16

and when you're five they can kind

1:15:19

of indoctrinate you separate you from your

1:15:21

parents most of the day while your

1:15:23

parents are at work. And so that's

1:15:25

like most of your day you have

1:15:27

other people other than your parents telling

1:15:30

you how the world is, how the

1:15:32

world works, what's happening in your life

1:15:34

and what you should be doing. And

1:15:36

that's kind of crazy because a lot

1:15:39

of those people suck. I remember thinking

1:15:41

that when I was a kid, like

1:15:43

thinking that how strange it is that

1:15:45

people that I don't respect and I

1:15:47

don't enjoy are the ones that are

1:15:50

in control of communicating to me most

1:15:52

of the day. I remember very clearly

1:15:54

thinking that when I was a little

1:15:56

kid, like 10, 11 years old. Yeah.

1:15:59

You know, I know that when I

1:16:01

was a kid, I used to have

1:16:03

this history teacher who was also a

1:16:05

PE coach. He had something as intriguing

1:16:07

as history to teach me, but I

1:16:10

could not listen to him, talk. So

1:16:12

he couldn't even make American history interesting.

1:16:14

But a good teacher could have done

1:16:16

it. A good teacher could have roped

1:16:19

me in to what was going on

1:16:21

and the story of it and how

1:16:23

it affects my life and the lives

1:16:25

of my parents and my grandparents, how

1:16:28

it all went down. That's an interesting

1:16:30

story. But if you're a dull fucking

1:16:32

assistant coach basketball and now you've got

1:16:34

to fuck one period of history and

1:16:36

you have a monotone voice and I'm

1:16:39

just bzzz out of it, I imagine

1:16:41

what it would have been like to

1:16:43

have access to wonderful educators. Right, but

1:16:45

if you were listening to like, you

1:16:48

ever listen to Dan Carlin's podcast? No.

1:16:50

He's got this podcast called Hardcore History.

1:16:52

It's incredible. It's amazing. It's such a

1:16:54

good podcast. And this guy will like

1:16:56

lay out the events of World War

1:16:59

I in a way that you will

1:17:01

hang on every word and you'll park

1:17:03

your car. Like if you got to

1:17:05

go somewhere, you'll keep your car running

1:17:08

because you just want to listen to

1:17:10

where this is going. Wow. Yeah. So

1:17:12

if a guy like that was teaching

1:17:14

you history, that would have been great.

1:17:16

I mean, I think I would have

1:17:19

been engaged. You probably would have been

1:17:21

a historian. Yeah, making nothing. This, he's,

1:17:23

Dan Carlin's doing well. But that's, um,

1:17:25

someone who loves what they do. And

1:17:28

that's the difference. School is this weird

1:17:30

indoctrination fucking ritual that we all have

1:17:32

to go through. And then we all

1:17:34

have to feel real bad about ourselves

1:17:36

because we don't want to be there

1:17:39

and we're not doing good at it.

1:17:41

I felt like a fucking complete loser

1:17:43

in school. I never felt like I

1:17:45

was supposed to be there. I never

1:17:48

felt like I was smart. You

1:17:51

know, but I remember Like Like

1:17:53

finally when I realized that

1:17:55

I was never like what? But

1:17:57

I was going to school for

1:18:00

three years, when I went

1:18:02

to college for three years, when

1:18:04

I finally was like, what am

1:18:07

I doing? I got to

1:18:09

stop doing this. It's just wasting

1:18:11

time. Because that's all I

1:18:14

was doing. It's just completely

1:18:16

wasting time. It was like a

1:18:18

huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I

1:18:20

could just go, eh, this is not for

1:18:22

me. Well, the one thing is

1:18:24

I didn't waste that time. of

1:18:26

how the world works, if I'd

1:18:29

understood world history, you know, I

1:18:31

mean, those kinds of things. I

1:18:33

just wish I was, you know,

1:18:35

I wish I had an education.

1:18:37

But what I would do with

1:18:40

it, I have no idea, I'd

1:18:42

still do stand up, so. Yeah,

1:18:44

well, hopefully. And I wouldn't be

1:18:46

any fucking funny. Jesus Christ, imagine

1:18:48

if you did, imagine you did

1:18:51

go down a different road, that

1:18:53

would have sucked. I would have

1:18:55

sucked. I was broke and

1:18:57

I had nothing and

1:18:59

I was unimpressive and

1:19:01

my in-laws bought us a

1:19:04

garage door opener. So I had

1:19:06

a garage door opener.

1:19:08

Now you're gonna think

1:19:10

this is really fucking

1:19:12

weird. I used to

1:19:14

wear that garage door opener

1:19:17

on my belt so people

1:19:19

would think I had a beeper.

1:19:23

I just hang it, clip it right

1:19:26

there on my belt. People don't know

1:19:28

about the beeper. Yeah, yeah. A lot

1:19:30

of people listening right now, like I

1:19:32

have no idea what that is. Ron

1:19:34

and I have been through all the

1:19:37

various stages of technological inter-

1:19:39

Wizardry. Yeah, but the intertwining

1:19:41

of our in our lives,

1:19:43

the way, you know, the first thing was

1:19:45

the beeper. Like you would get a

1:19:48

beeper, like my friend Johnny had one,

1:19:50

you could page people, and he would call

1:19:52

the number. Hey, what's up? You're stopping a

1:19:54

phone booth. Now that what a phone booth

1:19:56

is. And you have to like put quarters

1:19:58

in the phone book and look. at the

1:20:00

beeper and do do do do do

1:20:02

do do do do do do do

1:20:04

do do hey what's up hey what's

1:20:06

going on where you at and you'd

1:20:09

have a conversation with someone that's how

1:20:11

you get a hold of them you

1:20:13

have to page them right yeah Joey

1:20:15

Diaz had a pager forever Joey Diaz

1:20:17

had a pager deep into the like

1:20:19

maybe the 2000s wow not kidding yeah

1:20:21

definitely in the 90s he had a

1:20:23

pager Because I remember sometimes he would

1:20:26

go AWOL and I'd be paged and

1:20:28

I'm like, where are you? Like one

1:20:30

time we were doing a gig in

1:20:32

Jersey, we're doing rascals in East Orange

1:20:34

and he fucking never showed up. And

1:20:36

I finally got a hold on the

1:20:38

phone and he's like, I'm not going

1:20:41

to lie to you dog, I never

1:20:43

left Vegas. I never left Vegas. I

1:20:45

never left Vegas. I never left Vegas.

1:20:47

It was just having a good time.

1:20:49

But that's how you got a hold

1:20:51

of him. You'd have to page him

1:20:53

That was it and then when you

1:20:55

got then one day he got a

1:20:58

phone and when he got a phone

1:21:00

you better not fucking text him if

1:21:02

you text him. He'll yell at you

1:21:04

like Brian Redband used to text him.

1:21:06

You go stop fucking texting me And

1:21:08

then Joey eventually got an iPhone and

1:21:10

Brian got a text from him one

1:21:13

day. He's texting. He's like he fucking

1:21:15

texted me now. Now we'll text you

1:21:17

But he doesn't like to text. How's

1:21:19

he doing? He's good. He's coming down

1:21:21

soon. He's going to be here in

1:21:23

a couple weeks. Good, good. He's coming

1:21:25

real soon, right? When is he here?

1:21:28

Two weeks. Okay. Yeah. He would, uh,

1:21:30

he only wants to talk to you

1:21:32

on the phone. I go, why? Why

1:21:34

don't you like talking to people? He

1:21:36

goes, I'm insecure, I want to hear

1:21:38

your voice, I want to tell you

1:21:40

I love you, I love you, I

1:21:42

love you. Yeah. I get it, I

1:21:45

get it, I get it, I get

1:21:47

it, I get it, I get it,

1:21:49

I get it, I get it, I

1:21:51

get it, I get it, I get

1:21:53

it, I get it, I get it,

1:21:55

I get it, I get it, I

1:21:57

get it, I get it, I get

1:22:00

it, I get it, I get it,

1:22:02

I get it, I get it, I

1:22:04

get it, I get it, I get

1:22:06

it, I get it Yeah, he calls

1:22:08

me ever once in a while just

1:22:10

to say hello. Just to say hi.

1:22:12

Yeah, just to say hi. Yeah, just

1:22:14

to say hi. He's like the... Just

1:22:17

checking on you. He might be the

1:22:19

number one dude that I just talked

1:22:21

to mostly on the phone. Very few

1:22:23

text messages between me and Joey. Other

1:22:25

than I'll ask him like, hey, is

1:22:27

April 22nd good? Yeah, we're good, okay.

1:22:29

See you then. So is he going

1:22:32

to come down to do sets? He's

1:22:34

coming down to do sets. He's getting

1:22:36

ready. He's going to do a special.

1:22:38

So he's doing a bunch of shows.

1:22:40

He's got a residency. I think he's

1:22:42

doing it in Philly. Is he doing

1:22:44

it in Philly? We'll find out when

1:22:46

he gets here. But he's doing a

1:22:49

residency. He's done a few of these

1:22:51

residences where he shows up like every

1:22:53

weekend. His shows places people love him.

1:22:55

He did he opened up for Tom

1:22:57

in Mass Square Garden Tom said when

1:22:59

he went on stage They went fucking

1:23:01

ape shit. How cool is that? They

1:23:04

went ape shit because they didn't know

1:23:06

he was coming, you know And then

1:23:08

also and ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

1:23:10

Joey Diaz. He's like the Snuffelofagus. He's

1:23:12

a mystical creature, right. He is he

1:23:14

is. There's nothing like him. Nothing like

1:23:16

him completely unique human being you know

1:23:18

It was fun to watch him just

1:23:21

stomp the fuck out of the fucking

1:23:23

room at the store man. He just

1:23:25

beat the shit out of those crowds.

1:23:27

Some of the sets that I've seen

1:23:29

him have in the O.R. I think

1:23:31

it's the funniest thing I've ever seen

1:23:33

in my life. I've seen everybody. I've

1:23:36

seen everyone. Great, great, great comedians. So

1:23:38

I love to death. And I'll watch

1:23:40

them every time they perform. But... I

1:23:42

think Joey hit RPM's that nobody hit.

1:23:44

He hit these moments. Oh, I saw

1:23:46

him wind him up, man. Just wind

1:23:48

him up. And so people say, like,

1:23:50

who's the funniest guy ever? I'm like,

1:23:53

come, man, I don't, you know, there's

1:23:55

guys with great insight, like Patrice had

1:23:57

great insight. He was really hilarious, but

1:23:59

he also had like great insight. Joey

1:24:01

Dia, you ain't getting no insight out

1:24:03

of Joey Diaz. No. He's giving you,

1:24:05

he's rock'em, sock'em, robots. He's here to

1:24:08

fuck you up. He used to have

1:24:10

this bit about Terry Cruz. Like, and

1:24:12

Terry Cruz accused some guy of grabbing

1:24:14

his dick. You know, and he had

1:24:16

this bit about Terry Cruz in the

1:24:18

underwear commercial. Oh my God. It was

1:24:20

so funny. You would be in the

1:24:23

back of the room, just barely, you

1:24:25

couldn't breathe. Everyone, like, I was looking

1:24:27

around, people were falling out of their

1:24:29

chairs. Like, they couldn't handle it. And

1:24:31

he was on fire, just purple, fucking

1:24:33

red in the face, screaming and yelling.

1:24:35

Like, oh my God. Oh my God.

1:24:37

That's just some of the first sets

1:24:40

I saw you do at the store

1:24:42

and when you were doing that bit

1:24:44

where you were standing on top of

1:24:46

the stool. Yeah, fucking. Yeah, fucking. I

1:24:48

just remember just how just Dick slapped

1:24:50

those fucking crowds. I'm like, God damn

1:24:52

it, he's good at this. It's a

1:24:55

fun job, bro. It is the funnest

1:24:57

job. We're so lucky. We're so lucky.

1:24:59

We're so lucky in so many ways.

1:25:01

Just it doesn't make sense. When I

1:25:03

think about a life without stand-up, it

1:25:05

makes me nervous to even think about

1:25:07

what it is. But we almost did

1:25:09

it, right? Yeah. I mean, when we

1:25:12

all went through that with COVID, I

1:25:14

mean, you were basically saying you were

1:25:16

done. I thought it was done. Yeah.

1:25:18

I didn't know I could anymore. It

1:25:20

was, halfway through every set I couldn't

1:25:22

wait for it to be over. Wow.

1:25:24

And now, I go on stage and

1:25:27

I have this whole new gratitude. for

1:25:29

these crowds, you know, that are still

1:25:31

there, waiting, bigger than ever. My shows

1:25:33

sell out faster than they ever have.

1:25:35

Isn't that amazing? Part of it is

1:25:37

just because there's less of them, I

1:25:39

guess, but also it's because of my

1:25:41

friends, you know, like the word gets

1:25:44

out, you know, you guys didn't let

1:25:46

me die. Yeah. Yeah, we knew, I

1:25:48

mean... I tell everybody, but it's true,

1:25:50

like, you're one of the reasons why

1:25:52

we decided to buy a club. Because

1:25:54

you grabbed me when you got off

1:25:56

stage, that first time you had been

1:25:59

on stage at like eight months, and

1:26:01

you grabbed me by the shows, whatever

1:26:03

the fuck we have. to do, we're

1:26:05

gonna keep doing theirs. Yeah, and we

1:26:07

did. I'll never forget that moment. I

1:26:09

was like, okay, we're gonna do it,

1:26:11

because you're gonna get that fucking club

1:26:13

open, like, we're gonna do it. I

1:26:16

was already thinking about doing it very

1:26:18

seriously, because I realized like early on

1:26:20

coming here, I was like, we need

1:26:22

a place. We can't just be working

1:26:24

out of these rock and roll clubs.

1:26:26

They're not set up right? No. You

1:26:28

know, no, there's a difference. I don't

1:26:31

even like to do so. I don't

1:26:33

even like to do sets other places.

1:26:35

That's really what's wrong with the with

1:26:37

the mother ship. It'll spoil your fucking

1:26:39

ass, you know, with great crowds and

1:26:41

perfect acoustics and an amazing sound system

1:26:43

and you know, just and then when

1:26:45

you move over to another room, which

1:26:48

I rarely do, do another set in

1:26:50

town, I did one of the other

1:26:52

couple months ago and I was like,

1:26:54

this sucks. If you guys want to

1:26:56

find me, I'll be down at some

1:26:58

other ship. And, uh, but, uh... Yeah,

1:27:00

we did it, Ron. Yeah. We actually

1:27:03

did it, you know? It's interesting, when

1:27:05

you look back at those conversations we

1:27:07

used to have, like we're in the

1:27:09

Vulcan, hanging out in the green room,

1:27:11

talking about what the club's gonna be

1:27:13

like. Yeah. It seemed like a pipe

1:27:15

dream. And I know a lot of

1:27:17

people probably did think it was fake.

1:27:20

There's a lot of people in LA.

1:27:22

It's all bullshit, you guys move down

1:27:24

there for no fucking reason. Because the

1:27:26

thing about you taking a, making a

1:27:28

choice, that's a scar. Yeah. If the

1:27:30

thing about you making a choice to

1:27:32

go and, you know, start something up

1:27:35

and the people that are left behind,

1:27:37

they kind of want you to fail.

1:27:39

Especially the haters. Right. They want you

1:27:41

to. So Tony was like encountering that

1:27:43

all the time. These people that just

1:27:45

for whatever reason, they don't want other

1:27:47

people to... They don't want to ever

1:27:50

people to escape the bomb that they're

1:27:52

in, you know It's like people from

1:27:54

the neighborhood that don't want you to

1:27:56

leave and when you do leave. Oh,

1:27:58

look who's back right People

1:28:00

for whatever reason people really like

1:28:02

when people fail, you know, it's

1:28:04

a gross feeling It's a gross

1:28:06

thing, but it's super super common

1:28:08

Looked for a joint. Yeah Jesus

1:28:11

Christ wrong, don't you know we're

1:28:13

in Texas You know, um? That's

1:28:15

the first thing they got to

1:28:17

fix is make this shit legal

1:28:19

in the whole country. It's so

1:28:21

crazy that what's stopping them oh

1:28:23

I don't know I don't understand

1:28:25

it. I mean, it's a political

1:28:27

beach ball. It's one of those

1:28:29

things that just gets tossed around

1:28:31

that I think is good for

1:28:33

the establishment that runs the country.

1:28:35

It's good to keep it up

1:28:37

in the air. Like, I'll promise

1:28:39

when I get in office, gays

1:28:41

will be able to marry. Yay!

1:28:43

And then they're talking about, there's

1:28:45

people that want to take that

1:28:47

off the table, you know? It's

1:28:49

like there's a bunch of those

1:28:51

things, like Roe v. Way, that

1:28:53

was a big one. There's a

1:28:55

bunch of these cultural beach balls

1:28:57

that are very important issues to

1:28:59

some people and they get exploited

1:29:01

by politicians as a way to

1:29:03

promise you this and promise you

1:29:05

that but sure, but it never,

1:29:07

nothing ever gets fixed. Nothing ever

1:29:09

changes, you know? Well, it's changing

1:29:11

a little, you know, I didn't

1:29:13

think marijuana would ever be legal

1:29:15

in Oklahoma. I thought they'd be

1:29:17

behind us, you know, but what

1:29:19

do you go there now? It's

1:29:21

billboards on every fucking street corner.

1:29:23

Come get your weed, you know.

1:29:25

New Mexico just authorized silicibon therapy.

1:29:27

Really? Yep. People with depression, I

1:29:29

think depression and anxiety, is that

1:29:31

what it's for? Is that where

1:29:33

they're using it? Those terms which

1:29:35

apply to basically everybody right everybody

1:29:37

everybody's had some depression and some

1:29:39

anxiety They go now you can

1:29:41

get some mushrooms and figure your

1:29:43

life out. Oh, maybe I'll give

1:29:45

it a try Yeah, it's just

1:29:47

the problem is federally it's still

1:29:49

not legal and that which is

1:29:51

it's so dumb. It's so dumb.

1:29:54

You know, and I don't think

1:29:56

it's gonna change, unfortunately. I don't

1:29:58

think I think Trump is too

1:30:00

busy with all these other issues.

1:30:02

I don't think he's interested in

1:30:04

that. So co-sponsor said, here goes,

1:30:06

the bill would establish an advisory

1:30:08

board treatment equity fund and research

1:30:10

fund as well as remove Silesibin

1:30:12

from the Controlled Substances Act to

1:30:14

protect qualified and registered patients, clinicians,

1:30:16

and producers according to a news

1:30:18

release jointly, a news release. released

1:30:20

jointly by the office of the

1:30:22

Senate and the House Democrats. So

1:30:24

this is what the Democrats have

1:30:26

over the Republicans. Freedom to explore

1:30:28

your consciousness. Republicans for whatever reason,

1:30:30

they shy away from that. It

1:30:32

doesn't fit with their conservative mindset

1:30:34

of what you should... It used

1:30:36

to be it didn't fit... Freedom

1:30:38

of speech didn't fit with their...

1:30:40

mindset and now the republicans are

1:30:42

all about freedom of speech because

1:30:44

they realize the consequences of it

1:30:46

during the last election cycle you

1:30:48

know uh... when things get censored

1:30:50

and when you have a town

1:30:52

square that's curated by not just

1:30:54

the big tech companies but also

1:30:56

by the federal government itself, things

1:30:58

can get weird when you're trying

1:31:00

to access the truth. You want

1:31:02

to know what is actually going

1:31:04

on when certain stories have actually

1:31:06

been suppressed for the news because

1:31:08

the federal government deems them misinformation,

1:31:10

even if they turn out to

1:31:12

be true. That's not good. And

1:31:14

so because of that, the right

1:31:16

is supporting freedom of speech, which

1:31:18

I think is fucking great. That's

1:31:20

what we all should be supporting.

1:31:22

But we all should be... supporting

1:31:24

the freedom to expand your consciousness

1:31:26

and people have been doing it

1:31:28

in certain ways for thousands and

1:31:30

thousands of years and you don't

1:31:32

know better if you haven't done

1:31:35

it if you haven't done it

1:31:37

yourself in your past judgment on

1:31:39

people that have you're not qualified

1:31:41