Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:00
My dad works in B2B marketing. He
0:02
came by my school for career day
0:04
and said he was a big ROAS
0:06
man. Then he told everyone how much
0:08
he loved calculating his return on ad
0:10
spend. My friend's still laughing me
0:13
to this day. Not everyone gets
0:15
B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to
0:17
reach people who do. Get $100 credit
0:20
on your next ad campaign. Go
0:22
to linkedin.com/campaign to claim your credit.
0:24
That's linkedin.com/campaign. Terms and conditions apply.
0:27
LinkedIn, the place to be, to
0:29
be. Paramount Plus is
0:31
your home for the UEFA Champions
0:33
League. Magnificent. And
0:37
this season is bigger, better,
0:39
bolder than ever. That was
0:41
special. With more epic matchups.
0:43
Momentous and historic. And more
0:46
moments from soccer's iconic stars. What
0:48
a goal, what a player. The
0:50
UEFA Champions League. Stream every
0:53
match live exclusively on Paramount
0:55
Plus. The stuff of absolute
0:57
dreams. Welcome
1:04
ladies and gentlemen. Please have a seat, my
1:06
friends. Welcome one and all to The Late Show.
1:08
I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies
1:10
and gentlemen. Check
1:14
the notches on your arm because it's
1:16
been exactly one week since the election.
1:19
And already this is
1:21
becoming a country I
1:23
no longer recognize. Because right here in New
1:25
York City today, Mayor Adams
1:27
instituted a ban on trash
1:30
bag mountains. No
1:32
mountains of trash bags on the sidewalks
1:34
of New York. What's next? No
1:37
masturbators on the F train? To
1:40
paraphrase the great Cat Stevens, without mountains
1:42
of trash, where do the children
1:44
play? Daddy,
1:47
I wish we could build a trash man. One
1:50
time I put a hat on it and it came to
1:52
life. No son, that wasn't a
1:54
magic trash man. You just woke up Rudy
1:56
Giuliani. Today,
2:00
this whole thing is
2:02
all part of a
2:04
plan, right? Today is
2:06
just the next stage
2:08
in what city officials
2:10
are calling Mayor Eric
2:12
Adams' trash revolution. Well,
2:15
of course, our nation from the
2:17
days of its founding fathers had a proud history
2:19
of trash revolution. Who could forget this song from
2:21
Hamilton? I am not throwing
2:23
away my trash. City
2:29
Hall is giving homeowners a couple
2:31
months to get it together, but starting on
2:33
January 2, landlords who flout the rules will
2:35
face fines of $50. Ooh,
2:38
$50, so scary. It's
2:42
New York. My coffee costs 75 bucks. The
2:46
free milk you put into yourself? 50
2:48
bucks. Greatest city in
2:51
the world. Of course, down in Washington, giant
2:53
piles of trash are about to take power. Trump
2:56
has begun. Donald
2:58
Trump. True. Trump
3:04
has begun naming his cabinet, and he's
3:07
expected to pick Marco Rubio for Secretary
3:09
of State. I'm sorry, I
3:11
misread that. It should be Lil Secretary of
3:13
State. This is
3:15
actually kind of surprising. Trump and Rubio, as I'm
3:17
sure you know, have a long and checkered history.
3:20
Back when Rubio was running against Trump
3:22
in the 2016 primary, he hit
3:24
Trump below the belt. He's always
3:26
calling me Little Marco. He's
3:29
like 6'2", which is why I don't
3:31
understand why his hands are the size of someone who's
3:33
5'2". And you know what
3:35
they say about men with small hands? They
3:40
keep your balls in a jar on their desk. So
3:46
what changed in their relationship? Well, Rubio
3:48
saw that people like Trump more than
3:50
they like him, so he
3:52
said his lips on butts mooch,
3:54
and apparently Trump noticed how enthusiastically
3:57
Rubio hit the surrogate circuit and
3:59
the campaign. Oh, okay,
4:01
so even if you spend years insulting Donald
4:03
Trump, you can get back in
4:05
his good graces just by praising him. Which is why
4:08
I'd like to take this opportunity to say
4:10
to our new president-elect, Pass.
4:14
If appointed... If
4:16
appointed... CHEERING
4:26
Now, if appointed, if appointed, Rubio
4:28
would also make history as the
4:30
first Latino to ever serve
4:32
as the nation's top diplomat. Now, that's
4:34
a big milestone. And we here
4:36
at The Late Show are always looking
4:38
for silver linings to this next administration.
4:40
So let's go to my writer, Caroline,
4:42
who is Latina. Caroline, are
4:44
you ready to celebrate the first
4:46
Latino secretary of state? Sí...
4:51
Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede. Sí,
4:56
se puede. Thanks, Caroline. Caroline,
4:59
one of my writers, everybody. Thank you. You look fantastic. CHEERING
5:08
Joining Rubio in the splash zone will
5:10
be South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, who
5:13
will serve as Trump's secretary of Homeland Security,
5:16
which means DHS now stands for
5:18
Dogs Hide Shotgun. I
5:22
know, I know, it's important not to focus on that
5:24
one time Kristi Noem shot a dog. Because
5:27
it's just as important to remember that she also
5:30
shot and killed her family's goat. We
5:32
go now live to America's barnyard for
5:34
a reaction to Noem's appointment. BLEHHH!
5:39
Trump... Trump has also
5:42
selected Lee Zeldin to run the
5:44
EPA. Now, you may not know much about Lee
5:46
Zeldin, because he's from New York, but we all,
5:48
you know, live and work here in New York,
5:51
and we also know nothing about him. It's
5:54
Congress. He was in Congress. He was in Congress. After
5:57
getting the gig, Zeldin went on Fox News
5:59
to... He's his boss. President Trump,
6:01
when he called me up, gosh,
6:04
he was rattling off 15, 20
6:06
different priorities. Clear focus.
6:09
Oh, yes, nothing. Nothing
6:11
says clear focus like having 15 or 20
6:13
priorities. Reminds
6:16
me of when FDR said this. The
6:19
only thing we have to fear is
6:22
fear itself. Also spiders
6:25
and bears and clowns and the
6:27
barbedoo and calling someone you know
6:29
the wrong name. And then it's
6:32
too late to go back and
6:34
ask and accidentally eating a staple
6:36
from the takeout bag. One
6:40
Trump ally who hasn't been asked
6:42
to join the administration is Trump's
6:44
former attorney and mortuary test dummy, Rudy
6:46
Giuliani. It's been a bit of a
6:48
tough ride for Rudy lately. He's losing all his assets,
6:50
you see, after he was ordered to pay $148 million
6:55
to the two Georgia election workers that
6:57
he defamed with the big lie. Yeah.
7:02
He hasn't turned over everything yet, but
7:06
last week his checking account was seized,
7:08
and now Rudy says he's too broke
7:11
to buy food. And as
7:13
of today in New York, there are no more mountains of
7:15
garbage for him to pick through. But
7:18
you know what? I am not worried that
7:20
Rudy's going to starve this winter any more
7:22
than a squirrel would, because we know he's
7:24
great at digging for nuts. Rudy
7:28
Giuliani, it's an
7:30
oldie but a goodie. Rudy Giuliani is not
7:33
the only one who's a little shaky right
7:35
now. A lot of Americans are feeling unsettled
7:37
since the election, which is one of the
7:39
reasons why, according to Google, internet
7:41
searches for how to move abroad
7:44
are up by more than 1,000%. There's
7:48
also been a spike in searches for frosting
7:50
near me, induce self-coma
7:52
how to, and cried so hard
7:55
I pooped, question mark? Additionally.
8:01
That is the laughter of recognition. Additionally,
8:05
U.S. searches for move to Canada, increased by 1,270%, making
8:09
this a perfect time to debut my new reality show,
8:13
Who Wants to Marry a Mountie? Andrea,
8:16
we really connected over the past to
8:18
dinner. Will you accept this moose? Come
8:23
here, fella. Yeah.
8:26
It was a moose on a leash. On a
8:28
leash. That's how
8:30
you lead moose around, on a leash, right? That's what you
8:32
do. There was also a massive
8:35
increase in searches like cost to move
8:37
to Canada from U.S., can I move
8:39
to Canada if Trump wins, and moving
8:41
to Canada requirements? Well, I can help
8:43
you there. You'll need to know that
8:45
up there they call winter hats tukes.
8:49
That I think ketchup is a potato chip flavor.
8:52
And up there munchkins are
8:54
timbits, which raises
8:56
the question, which
8:58
bits of Tim do they want you to munch on? If
9:07
you want to flee the country, but can't
9:09
get into Canada, one cruise line is offering
9:11
four-year trips to people looking to avoid a
9:13
second Trump term. The cruise takes
9:15
place on a ship called the Odyssey. Because
9:19
when I think positive travel experience, I
9:21
think the Odyssey. All
9:24
right, everybody, welcome aboard. First stop is...
9:27
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
9:30
Wow. You see that? You're
9:35
very kind, but the monologue's not over yet. That's
9:39
the reaction of a group of people going, let's just
9:42
wrap this up, buddy. I
9:46
was about to embody the cruise director on
9:50
Odysseus' ship. Let's
9:52
give that a try, shall we? He
9:54
might say something like this. Welcome
9:57
aboard, everybody. First stop is Cannibal Island.
9:59
Then we're captured by a one-eyed monster,
10:01
but first things first, you gotta strap
10:03
you to the mast so you can
10:05
resist the siren's call. Oh, calm down,
10:07
everybody back home thinks you're dead. Yeah.
10:11
Moving on. Ah! Wow,
10:15
this, this is gonna be
10:17
a long four years. Ah.
10:23
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Yeah.
10:33
Listen, I wanna talk for a moment about Wheel of Fortune,
10:36
the number one show to watch while mom heats
10:38
up soup. This week, my
10:41
friends over at Wheel went viral for one
10:43
contestant's attempt to solve the puzzle. I'd
10:45
like to buy you. Well, you're
10:48
gonna get three yous. I'd
10:51
like to solve the puzzle. Okay, well, let's hear it. Treat
10:54
yourself a round of sausage.
11:00
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
11:02
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
11:04
ah, ah, I,
11:09
I've seen that footage before and it took me
11:12
by surprise. I
11:14
love his confidence. Yes, he
11:16
solved the puzzle of my broken
11:18
heart. Our
11:20
wounded nation needs to treat
11:22
ourselves a round of sausage.
11:26
But sadly, ladies and gentlemen, sadly
11:28
that answer was incredibly, indelibly, eternally
11:30
wrong. After the gentleman whose
11:32
name I believe is Will, after
11:34
Will missed the answer by a
11:37
lot, it was his rival's
11:39
turn. Over to Katina. I'd
11:41
like to solve. Okay. Give
11:43
yourself a round of applause. Yeah,
11:46
that's it. Yes,
11:48
good job, Katina. Good
11:51
job, Katina. You did it, girl. And
11:54
you know what? Treat
11:56
yourself a round of sausage, everybody.
11:59
We gotta go. Great show for you tonight. Coming
12:03
up, Steven reveals People
12:05
Magazine's sexiest man alive.
12:10
Now streaming on Paramount+. Survivors
12:13
ready. Go! It's a
12:15
mental test. Who knows what's about to happen? Here
12:17
we go. It's time to gather
12:19
your tribe. This is your community. Survivors
12:24
my mom's nice thing. That's how you do it
12:27
on Survivor right there. Do it on Survivor right
12:30
there. Survivor
12:32
new season now streaming on
12:34
Paramount+. All new episodes,
12:37
CBS Wednesday 8, 7 central. Now
12:40
streaming on Paramount+. You do have a
12:43
lot going on. I'm fine. You just
12:45
lost your dad. You got a brand
12:47
new baby, an unemployed wife. You got
12:49
no money. Okay, okay. From
12:51
the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and
12:53
young Sheldon. Cut the baby down. You want
12:56
to fool around? To Mandy, Georgie
12:58
and their new home. Love
13:00
you. Love you too. Georgie and
13:03
Mandy's first marriage new series now
13:05
streaming on Paramount+. New
13:07
episodes, CBS Thursday 8, 7 central. Welcome
13:11
to the oil business. Billy Bob Thornton, Demi
13:13
Moore and Jon Hamm star in a new
13:15
Paramount+. Original series. The world
13:17
has already convinced itself that you are evil
13:20
and I am evil for providing them the
13:22
one thing they interact with every day. You're
13:24
all right. Here we go. I'm
13:26
executive producer of Yellowstone. Get everybody back.
13:30
You just put a giant bull's eye on this place.
13:33
We rolled the dice one last time. Landman
13:36
new series streaming November 17th exclusively
13:39
on Paramount+. Hey
13:42
everybody, welcome back. Ladies
13:46
and gentlemen. Ladies
13:48
and gentlemen, thank you
13:50
so much for having me. Have a seat everybody. Folks,
13:53
look, I don't have to tell you
13:55
this country is currently in the midst of
13:57
a massive transfer of power to
13:59
the new... new people's sexiest man alive. Yeah.
14:04
You know, it's a troubling time for many people. Every
14:06
year, People magazine, the only magazine
14:08
made by and for people, awards
14:11
this awesome responsibility to one of
14:14
the giants in the world of
14:16
male sexiness, such as Brad Pitt, Ryan
14:18
Reynolds, and of course, the OG sexiest
14:21
man alive, Mel Gibson, which, of course,
14:23
is the thing he's most famous for
14:25
and nothing else. Now,
14:28
in recent years, I have had the tremendous honor
14:31
of announcing both Paul Rudd and Chris
14:33
Evans for their terms
14:35
as sexiest man alive. So,
14:37
it is safe to say that no man can
14:40
become the sexiest till
14:42
he passes through these lips. And
14:46
I know exactly what that sounds like, and you're
14:48
the one with the problem, not me. But,
14:51
ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce that I am
14:54
once again going to announce this
14:57
year's People's Sexiest Man Alive.
14:59
Now, for those of you keeping track, you
15:01
might be aware that someone has not been
15:03
named sexiest man alive. But this year is
15:05
the third year I've announced it and third
15:08
time's a charm. So,
15:10
I'm not saying I know who it is, but it's 100% me. So...
15:20
Without further ado, Joe, drum roll, please.
15:25
This year's People's Sexiest Man Alive
15:27
is... John
15:31
Krasinski. Yeah. Yeah.
15:45
Yeah, yeah, okay, sure. Yeah, I
15:48
mean, I, uh... I mean, look at him. I
15:50
get it. Plus,
15:53
we're friends, so a very, very sexy
15:55
congrats to the very sexy John Krasinski.
16:00
I just, uh, just, uh, really
16:03
thought this was gonna be my year. Now
16:05
who are we kidding? I'm never
16:07
gonna be the sexiest man alive. Hey,
16:11
Stevie. Hey, guys. Mm-hmm.
16:17
Oh, my God. Oh,
16:20
my God. Oh, my
16:22
God. Oh. Oh,
16:26
please. I don't know. All right.
16:30
There you go, guys. Wow. That's
16:34
so official. I heard the news, and I had to come as
16:36
soon as I could, because I
16:38
know how bad you wanted to be the sexiest
16:40
man alive, and so
16:42
I just came to see if you're okay. Wow. Wow, that
16:44
is so thoughtful. Wow.
16:48
Which is in itself such a
16:50
sexy quality. I'm
16:52
beginning to see why they gave it to you.
16:54
Well, I think it's that in the biceps, but,
16:56
um... Yeah, I mean, I mean, you beat me
16:58
at arm wrestling once. Twice. Okay, so
17:00
math is sexy, too, now, evidently. No, look, look,
17:03
look. What? Steven, it's...
17:06
it's okay, all right? You're not the sexiest
17:08
man alive. But who cares? Who is? Except
17:12
for me, apparently. Mm-hmm.
17:14
I'm just... I'm just jealous, you know? I'm so
17:17
proud to see my friend go from
17:19
goofy, lovable boy next door
17:21
to big, dumb sex honks. That's right. And
17:23
I just... I wish I could do the
17:25
same. Oh, Steven, you can.
17:28
What? Yeah, you just have
17:30
to follow the same six-step process that I
17:32
did. Are you
17:34
saying there's a program you can follow? There sure
17:36
is. In
17:40
fact, I even made an instructional video. Let's
17:48
watch it now. Hey
17:57
there, my future sexies. It's me, Certified
17:59
Sexiest Man Alive. certified... sexy.
18:06
And we're gonna show you six simple steps guaranteed
18:09
to turn you from a sack of crap to a hunk
18:11
of beef. Or your money back. What did you say? I
18:14
said, are you... Star Wipe. Step
18:17
one, unhealthy snacks. Now,
18:19
these are filled with empty calories. You're gonna want to
18:21
eliminate them from your... What are you doing? I'm
18:24
eliminating your food. Star
18:27
Wipe. Step
18:29
two, the only things you shouldn't.
18:32
Water and raw egg? That's exactly
18:34
right, Steven. Water hydrates and smooths
18:36
your skin. And those raw
18:38
eggs, well, they'll give you a bad case
18:40
of salmonella, which will help you lose weight. Plus,
18:43
it buys you a one-way ticket to the hospital
18:45
where you can steal medical equipment, like
18:47
a cheek swab, for step three. Why
18:51
would I want a cheek swab? Star Wipe. Hey,
18:55
Chris Evans. Oh, hey, Steven. Allison,
18:58
I was wondering whether I could ask you a question. Sure.
19:01
I really like knives out, and I was
19:03
wondering how in that you acted so good.
19:06
I mean... What
19:08
the... I need your spit to make me
19:10
sexy. Give me that back, you son of a bitch. Star Wipe. Here's
19:14
that saliva you needed. Great. Now it's
19:16
time for step four. Extract Chris Evans'
19:18
sexy DNA using the genetics lab you
19:20
built using the Monet you
19:22
made from the Office reruns. That
19:25
kind of only applies to you, though. I mean, could a normal
19:27
person... Star Wipe. Step
19:30
five. Exercise? No. Sexier
19:34
size. Oh. Sexy.
19:45
Ooh, sexy. Sexy.
19:53
Sexy. So
20:02
sexy. I'm
20:05
good. I'm good.
20:11
Ah. You're
20:15
doing great, Stefan. Thirsty? Yeah.
20:17
Oh, thank you. I'm
20:20
feeling good. I think I'm
20:22
getting a little bit sexier. Oh, you are.
20:25
Because you just drank the serum extracted
20:27
from Chris Evans DNA. What? The
20:30
transformation takes about 14 hours, during which
20:32
your body will try to reject every
20:34
cell within you. Much like a butterfly,
20:36
your internal organs re-organize themselves, don't touch
20:39
me, into a more beautiful and symmetrical
20:41
formation. Oh, wow, you're very
20:43
hard to fly out first.
20:46
Did I forget? That was step six.
20:48
Star wipe. Steven. Steven.
20:51
John? John,
20:54
is that you? Where
20:57
am I? I feel hot. Do you have
20:59
a fever? No, I mean,
21:02
I feel hot.
21:08
Steven, you look amazing. I
21:10
feel amazing. I feel like
21:12
the sexiest man alive. Sure,
21:15
maybe in 2022, but this year it's me. I'll
21:19
be right back with the sexiest man
21:21
alive, John Krasinski. Ladies
21:33
and gentlemen,
21:39
right now I am proud to sit down
21:41
with People Magazine's 2024 Sexiest Man
21:44
Alive. Please welcome John Krasinski. What's
21:47
up? Hey. Oh
21:52
my God. That's well in
21:55
there. Thank
21:58
you. Thank you. You
22:00
got it right there. Yes. Oh.
22:05
Wow. Wow. Oh,
22:08
the same cup I had a little while
22:10
ago. Well, John, congratulations. Thank you very much.
22:12
Can I, shall we? Shall we reveal? Sure.
22:15
There it is. There's Sexiest Men Alive right there. Oh! Yeah.
22:18
Okay. And before, like,
22:20
I know it's not a contest about which
22:23
of the sexiest men alive is the sexiest
22:25
men ever alive. But here's
22:27
one cover. You're so sexy. Can
22:30
we put it up? It bled over into a second cover.
22:32
Oh! Look at that.
22:35
They couldn't contain it all on one cover.
22:37
Wow. That is gorgeous. I like
22:39
on this one how it says alive because
22:41
Sexiest Man Not Alive, I have no contest.
22:43
Right. But alive. That actually takes
22:45
me to my first question, which is when you
22:48
found out that you were the sexiest man alive,
22:50
did you immediately think, is this their way of
22:52
telling me that McConaughey is dead? Because
22:55
you're adorable. Thank you.
22:57
But McConaughey. McConaughey. Do you
22:59
even play the bongos? No.
23:02
I just drink his sweat on Tuesdays.
23:04
Mm-hmm. No, I
23:06
think he has, like, an artist in residency
23:08
at the People's Sexiest. And he
23:11
just goes, yeah, that's cool. He can do it. Yeah. He
23:13
has to hand it off. Yeah, he's technically
23:15
the guy. Now, I'm sure this
23:18
was a big secret. Hell, you know, very close
23:20
to the vest, right? How long have you known
23:22
that you were the sexiest man alive? I've known
23:24
since five minutes ago. Yeah.
23:27
I'm pretty sure this is still a bit.
23:30
I thought it was a prank when they
23:32
told me, and now I'm sure of it.
23:34
But you've been in a Marvel movie. I
23:37
have. You were in the multiverse of madness.
23:39
Compare this kind of secret keeping to Marvel's
23:41
secret keeping. When you're working with Marvel, yeah.
23:43
Did you just tell anybody? Because you can't.
23:46
No, you can't tell anybody. So Emily knew,
23:48
obviously. Yes. Emily knew. Was she surprised? Of
23:51
this? Yeah. Or Marvel? No,
23:54
this. Was she like, it's about damn time? Or was she
23:56
like, yes, darling. I don't know. There was so much laughter
23:58
on the other end of the phone. It
24:00
was hard to get words, but yeah. Sure, sure.
24:02
They just want to find a guy to make
24:05
them laugh. Isn't that what they say? Exactly. So,
24:08
you didn't tell anyone. The only person
24:10
I slipped and told was
24:13
the day we did the shoot. I went
24:15
to Matt Damon's birthday party. And
24:17
when I walked in... Yep, name dropped. Don't worry about it.
24:20
And when I walked in, he was having such a good birthday, and I
24:22
was late to the party, and he was like, Oh, man, why are you
24:24
late? And I was like, oh, I was doing this photo shoot, and he's
24:27
like, for what? And I was like, people's
24:29
sexist! And
24:31
yet again, I think he thought it was a bit,
24:33
because he was like, oh, come here, man. And I
24:36
was like, no, no congrats. 100%, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. We'll
24:39
see who's in Ocean's 15. A lot of
24:41
responsibility, though, being the sexist man alive. Is
24:43
it? I don't know. That
24:56
was one of the funniest things you've ever said. So,
24:58
you're from Newton, Mass. I am. And
25:01
people in Massachusetts don't like people to
25:03
get, like, too big for their britches. What
25:05
kind of reaction do you imagine getting this
25:07
from the people you grow up with? Thanksgiving's
25:09
gonna be great. Yeah. Yeah. Can
25:11
you give me a little taste of what that might be like? Oh, yeah? People's
25:13
sexiest? So you think you're better than me? Is that
25:16
what it is? Nope, didn't say
25:18
that. Okay. I understand we are very clear
25:20
on what this is. Yeah,
25:22
that's what Thanksgiving will be. You have reason to stay
25:24
in sexy shape, though. I do, yes. I
25:27
don't think that people... Do people know this? I don't know.
25:29
I think... Is this an announcement? Maybe. I
25:31
don't know. Well,
25:34
I sure as... don't know, because it's your
25:36
career. No, no, no, I think it's announced.
25:38
I am going to be doing a movie
25:40
of Jack Ryan. And
25:44
I grew up watching those movies. Who
25:46
didn't? Those movies were everything
25:49
to me. They were my favorite movies. Everything's
25:51
strong. Everything to
25:53
you? But you're everything. Those movies
25:55
were everything to me. Yeah, sorry I didn't
25:57
read Tolkien. No. No,
26:00
I just... Weren't you raised in the
26:02
Catholic Church? Yeah, I was actually, yeah. Because
26:04
Jack Ryan Jesus, just like that. Forgive
26:07
me, Jack, for I have sinned. No, they were
26:09
everything to me. I should have done it better.
26:11
Pretty good. Did you read the books? I did,
26:13
yes. Love the books. Love
26:15
the books. And you're saying the movie's not so much for
26:17
you. The series. Can we get Harrison Ford on? My series.
26:20
Is he here? Harrison? He's
26:22
here? Yes, they're all here. Come on
26:24
out here. Come on, Alec. Come on,
26:26
Chris. That's the show. Alec, Baldwin.
26:30
Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford, Chris Pine. Ben
26:32
first. Ben Affleck was first. Ben Affleck was first.
26:34
Not Ben Affleck, it was Ben. And
26:38
then Chris Pine. Yeah. And
26:41
now? And now, cheapest sexiest
26:43
man. They made me do that.
26:46
Don't laugh. What? It
26:48
makes it harder. Laugh at what? What? Laugh
26:51
at your sexist man alive? Guys, on
26:53
YouTube, this will be so much shorter. And
26:58
now they got a still image of me just doing this. Yes.
27:01
But seriously. That's how you won. That's
27:07
how you won. What
27:12
is in this? Okay.
27:15
Holidays are coming up. You're a family man. Do
27:18
you do the Thanksgiving here? What are you
27:20
responsible for? We've been doing it the last
27:22
few years. We have smaller kids. We host
27:24
it. Okay. And
27:26
Emily is an incredible cook. She does mostly everything, but
27:29
I got the turkey. I do the turkey. I'm
27:31
on turkey duty. How do you do it? Deep fry it. Ooh.
27:35
Oh, yeah. So you have a death wish. Because that's
27:38
super dangerous. It really is. And I have a dear friend who
27:40
is a NYPD police officer. And
27:44
when I told him I was deep frying him. What
27:46
time are you doing it so that he could send a
27:49
response team? But seriously, have you
27:51
done it before? I did. This will be
27:53
my third year doing it. I watched all the videos
27:55
of what not to do. I don't know if you've
27:57
seen those videos. They literally white out from the floor.
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More