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Ryan Reynolds here for Mint

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to do at mintmobile.com. It's

1:07

the look of peat shore. We're just

1:10

talking about human pop shields and

1:12

being able to grow your own

1:14

sort of microphone popping device by

1:16

just growing your mustache. Will people

1:18

listen to notes and know what

1:20

a pop show this picture? You

1:22

want to explain it? I reckon

1:25

people will probably know. And if

1:27

they don't know, they'll probably figure

1:29

it out. But if they can't

1:31

do either of those things, it's

1:33

basically a mesh that prevents you

1:35

from producing plosives like tits. and

1:37

punani. I don't think I've

1:40

ever said the word punani

1:42

out loud. That's a real

1:44

shame. That's a good thing.

1:46

That's a good thing. It

1:48

is a good thing. How

1:50

are you doing? You're all

1:52

right. You're all right. I'm

1:54

okay Peter. All things considered.

1:56

I'm okay. No complaints. I'll have

1:58

it. What do you do? Peckham Town?

2:00

You're becoming a real regular fixture at

2:02

Peckham Town and your son's becoming a

2:05

real ultra? Yeah, I mean, if being

2:07

an ultra consists of standing next to

2:09

my son, who's sitting on the little

2:11

fence bit, shouting, go Peckham, go Peckham,

2:13

it makes me an ultra, then I'm

2:15

guilty as charged. But yeah, I'm okay.

2:17

No real complaints, the mustache is still

2:19

there. I mean, that's what we were

2:21

talking about, wasn't it, because you said,

2:24

if I grew the mustache long enough,

2:26

it could be like a human pop

2:28

shield. and that will protect us all

2:30

from your ploughs. But I think there

2:32

is a limit to what one should

2:34

do with a mustache. Or what do

2:36

you mean with the people who sort

2:38

of really dick about with it and

2:41

then they attend like mustache conferences and

2:43

people who make lettuce out of them

2:45

and sticks things in them and they

2:47

just look dirty. They always look a

2:49

bit dirty and shy. They've got a

2:51

very greasy skin. I find moustache in

2:53

through the house. I don't know why.

2:55

Yeah I don't like the full kind

2:58

of dick, drawbridge type look like look

3:00

like look like look like look like

3:02

look either. I mean. It's just very

3:04

very very very very very very very

3:06

very very very very very very very

3:08

It's not for me. No, you've got

3:10

to keep it taught, keep it taught,

3:12

keep it taught. Anyway, what's new with

3:15

you? What's new with me? What's been

3:17

up with me? What did I do

3:19

with you? It was a 40 holiday?

3:21

No. Do you look forward to having

3:23

a family holiday with a small child?

3:25

I don't think so. I don't think

3:27

there's... got a balcony. Could probably look

3:29

at some... waves in the in the

3:31

sunshine. I don't know. I don't know.

3:34

To make unforgettable memories for your child.

3:36

I think it's one of those things

3:38

that people feel like they have to

3:40

do. And it's very much a leap

3:42

into the unknown. I can barely handle

3:44

traveling with myself. on most trips. So

3:46

dealing with this is a whole different

3:48

ballgame, but if there's any sort of

3:51

hints and tips and I'm going to

3:53

throw on my way, by the time

3:55

I get them I will be full

3:57

floor. And I'm actually going to throw

3:59

money at it. You just go through

4:01

the problem. It's the only thing you

4:03

can do in that situation. I would

4:05

like to have my way. I'd like

4:08

to purge myself of any of the...

4:10

world's expectations of things that I have

4:12

to do that I think that's the

4:14

key to happiness actually yeah well just

4:16

don't wear your top just walk around

4:18

topless I'll wear clothes food down your

4:20

top food down yourself I'm in the

4:22

room I'm in the routine with clothes

4:25

I'm in the routine with clothes I

4:27

don't mind brush them I'm having a

4:29

shower I don't want to but I

4:31

don't want to do anything that's the

4:33

point as you get older you realize

4:35

you don't want to do any more

4:37

and so yeah that's really what money

4:39

gets you is that kind of convenience

4:42

of of lifestyle and of resource that

4:44

means you no longer have to do

4:46

stuff and so when you're really really

4:48

wealthy and you go on a family

4:50

holiday it's going to be a lot

4:52

easier because money is no object. So

4:54

you could travel at a convenient time

4:56

in a convenient way, go to a

4:58

convenient place to the luxury when you're

5:01

there will be good and it'll just

5:03

be like a home from home really.

5:05

But the point is if you've not

5:07

got loads of money every single endeavour

5:09

you embark upon usually involves some kind

5:11

of compromise. Yes, definitely. And I think

5:13

how cheap could a... travelling Nanny B.

5:15

Do you know me? A little sort

5:18

of Mary Poppins sort of person. Because

5:20

if I had my way... Is there

5:22

a vacancy there? Because I would apply.

5:24

Right now, do you know that picture

5:26

of Paul Gascon when he was having

5:28

a terrible time and he was outside

5:30

his house in a robe and he

5:32

looked like a pink lizard? Do you

5:35

remember? It was a low point for

5:37

Paul among many low points, sadly. There

5:39

was a little bit of me that

5:41

thought yeah, he's doing what he wants

5:43

and in many ways That's how I

5:45

would like to spend the next seven

5:47

days just in a robe what weaving

5:49

around cars in my in my street

5:52

Off me in yam in yaw I

5:54

really live it with my balls out

5:56

just just just just doing what God

5:58

intended there is a question for you

6:00

Peter. Yeah, could Currently now, can Paul

6:02

Gascoins still afford to live in Yarm?

6:04

It's a good point, actually. Yeah, it's

6:06

a really nice part of the North

6:09

East Yarm slash Yorkshire. And I think,

6:11

yeah, you've got to have a pretty

6:13

penny. Yeah, I've got a pretty penny.

6:15

Yeah, I mean, how much is too

6:17

much? I mean, he must have had

6:19

a couple of houses in this time.

6:21

Somebody at some point must have said,

6:23

just squirrel a bit of money away

6:25

just to get yourself a house and

6:28

stuff. Yeah, but I think that I

6:30

think I think that ship may have

6:32

sailed yeah I'm genuinely not taking the

6:34

piss up here I know he's a

6:36

look can't it's one of those ones

6:38

isn't it can't defend any lot of

6:40

his actions wouldn't seek to do so

6:42

no but clearly a troubled man correct

6:45

but I know what you're saying if

6:47

he's got to the point where he's

6:49

doing everything on his own terms There's

6:51

some light at the end of that

6:53

particularly dark tunnel. If you could live

6:55

your life exactly how you wanted at

6:57

all times, bearing in mind you've still,

6:59

you've got a family, you've got a

7:02

partner, you've got a child, they are

7:04

still included in that. How different would

7:06

your life be? Exactly the same, except

7:08

the toddler wouldn't come in the toilet

7:10

when I'm doing my poo. I mean,

7:12

my key to happiness is very much

7:14

a small three dollar lock that I

7:16

could very easily install. But then... That

7:19

is the challenge isn't it? If you're

7:21

so low-parenting, how do you approach the

7:23

poo argument? I grab the door handle

7:25

which is an easy reach and I

7:27

scream repeatedly for the five minutes that

7:29

I'm doing my ablutions. Daddy's having a

7:31

poo, or daddy's having a and she's

7:33

just screaming or shouting wee wee. It

7:36

really, I have, like, you find working

7:38

with me difficult, but I've very much,

7:40

the seeds have been so on and

7:42

I'm dealing with much bigger problems than

7:44

you've ever had dealing with. Well, I

7:46

see that by looking at you. point

7:48

Luke during a look at a picture

7:50

I've ever looked at you straight in

7:52

the eye and went with my handout

7:55

like I'm Luke Skywalk or something yeah

7:57

doing a force push on me I

7:59

don't find you I don't find you

8:01

first of all we're gonna go I

8:03

do want to talk about children the

8:05

doorhanders in the minute yeah before I

8:07

do I don't find you as difficult

8:09

as I used to right because you've

8:12

changed a bit and I think I've

8:14

changed a bit less It's not that

8:16

I find you difficult because that makes

8:18

you sound bad and I'm not I'm

8:20

not ascribing in a value judgment to

8:22

how you are because I like how

8:24

you are and you can't help a

8:26

lot of the stuff you do. But

8:29

that's not a mentalness. Yeah well well

8:31

well yeah, Kerry. I'm not medically qualified

8:33

to decide that Peter but you know

8:35

there's circumstantial stuff that I will look

8:37

at. No but I think some I

8:39

just think you see it was always

8:41

the unpredictability of it. Right. Which makes

8:43

me make me make me feel very

8:46

uncertain. So if you're in a situation

8:48

where you don't know if the guy's

8:50

going to make it, is he going

8:52

to be there? Who knows? Yeah. I

8:54

mean, what's he going to be like?

8:56

Don't know. What's he going to be

8:58

wearing? You've got me down. You've worn

9:00

me down to a lovely smooth pebble

9:02

pebble at people. It's what I like.

9:05

It's one of my proudest achievements. that

9:07

while genuinely one of the most interesting

9:09

people I've ever met in my life,

9:11

smooth me down, has been ground down

9:13

into someone who's far less interesting because

9:15

of my behaviour. Yeah, it's fine, thanks

9:17

me. I would say, can I just,

9:19

joking aside, my son worked out that

9:22

the door handles work and that's how

9:24

you open the doors by running as

9:26

fast as he could down the corridor,

9:28

stumbling, reaching his hand out to correct

9:30

himself, grabbing hold of one of the

9:32

door handles, and... violently flinging the door

9:34

open. Yeah, that's like, is there an

9:36

invention that's been, like an invention that's

9:39

been, it's been invented as when the

9:41

looking for something else do you know

9:43

what I mean like a kind of

9:45

exactly something that was like the post

9:47

it like the post it what was

9:49

that for what was the post it's

9:51

a guy who was trying to develop

9:53

a really strong glue but he couldn't

9:56

right so this glue is crap that

9:58

it might be really handy for something

10:00

else and then he he invented the

10:02

post it glue I I once worked

10:04

with a guy who claimed that his

10:06

grandfather was that person But and this

10:08

was in Auckland in New Zealand in

10:10

2003 and I I am I didn't

10:13

interrogate it further Because I was working

10:15

without a visa. I did want to

10:17

cause any problems, but also because Allegheny

10:19

seemed like I was illegally I I

10:21

I He also seemed like a total

10:23

fantasist. I was thinking I this is

10:25

a pretty shitty job. We're doing it.

10:27

Right. It is poor. Yeah, I understand

10:29

that if you have the grandson of

10:32

a wealthy dynasty you might still want

10:34

a job but not this. There's no

10:36

way you're doing this. So I wasn't

10:38

sure about it's okay but that is

10:40

apparently how the post it was invented.

10:42

I've got a poster on the wall

10:44

in front of me right now which

10:46

has been stuck to a notice board

10:49

above my desk. I reckon for five

10:51

years plus and it's never come off.

10:53

So I mean it depends on I

10:55

guess what situation it's in I suppose

10:57

it can't be too damp, can't be

10:59

too hot. can't be too cold either

11:01

way it's stuck to your wall for

11:03

for that length of time so well

11:06

it must just be temperate nothing here

11:08

done that Peter can ask you a

11:10

question yes here's a question for you

11:12

what's your skin care regime oh what

11:14

is my skin care the products you

11:16

use and how often you use them

11:18

in the shower in the morning I

11:20

will take some shower gel and do

11:23

a little bit on the forehead around

11:25

the nose and then it's um aren't

11:27

pits and bollocks and then that's it

11:29

really that's nice that's my whole that's

11:31

the sum total of your mouth of

11:33

your grooming some total of my grooming

11:35

you don't pay any moisture eyes on

11:37

your face? No, I should probably should

11:40

do, but my skin's quite greasy anyway.

11:42

I've never found the need to be

11:44

honest, never really dried out, never really

11:46

sort of done anything really. So, mmm.

11:48

Okay, why? So I find now, because

11:50

I was thinking to myself the other

11:52

day, the other day, so. Okay, why?

11:54

So I find now, because I was

11:56

thinking to myself the other day, the

11:59

summer, the summer or whatever, I use

12:01

every day, when I forgot to put

12:03

it on. My skin for us really

12:05

dry and horrible. And I think this

12:07

is how they get you. Oh right,

12:09

it's sort of like it overgresses it.

12:11

Doing the opposite. Yeah. It's doing the

12:13

opposite. Right, okay. So when you stop

12:16

using it, you need some art. Well

12:18

that's me dialed in for life now.

12:20

It's like the fucking PCP on the

12:22

car. I can never get away from

12:24

Aldi now. The problem is, you, they

12:26

never seem to have, I just think

12:28

they should be bigger, you should be

12:30

bigger, you should buy at the start

12:33

of the start of the start of.

12:35

moisturizer and just go through it. Do

12:37

you know what I mean? Like, instead

12:39

of having to buy little bottles that

12:41

haven't worked. Right, okay. So I've settled

12:43

on my particular one. I also use

12:45

this midnight eye recovery cream as well.

12:47

I just don't know here. High recovery,

12:50

I had an idea that you're, you're

12:52

like, you're like a vintage posh. I

12:54

haven't spent all this money on upkeep

12:56

and servicing and stuff. I do. And

12:58

my wife insists on me staying in

13:00

the front driveway with the cover over

13:02

me every night. So the birds don't

13:04

shit on me. I'd love a little.

13:07

I'd love the idea. I bought a

13:09

little cover for the sofa we got

13:11

out in the yard. Well those plastic

13:13

ones that I used to have in

13:15

those movies set in Compton in the

13:17

90s. Yeah. Remember that? I think so.

13:19

No. So they're basically people in certain

13:21

neighborhoods in the US. And it would

13:23

always be featured in like 90s movies.

13:26

Right. Did I have a set A

13:28

in the street? No, they haven't been

13:30

living room, but they just put plastic

13:32

covers over the room. Oh, like an

13:34

old lady sort of thing to do.

13:36

Yeah, yeah. Well, no, I've never seen

13:38

that happen in real life or I've

13:40

never seen it on tele. Yeah, it's

13:43

a bit of a sort of comedic

13:45

troll, isn't it? Like if you grew

13:47

up in the 80s, your mother would

13:49

have. But I don't see how you

13:51

could settle a sofa with that kind

13:53

of plastic. It would be horrible, wouldn't

13:55

it? Yeah, it'd be like really sweaty

13:57

and horrible. So what cover have you

14:00

got there? And if an old lady's

14:02

kind of like a 10 quid one

14:04

from T-mo that is, 10 times too

14:06

big. And it's... Is it a polyester?

14:08

Well, it's just, it's waterproof to keep

14:10

the water off, but the problem is

14:12

Sami loves pooping on that and stuff.

14:14

He just... Why is your dog shitting

14:17

indoors? I've never had an explanation for

14:19

this. He's not shitting indoors, he's sitting

14:21

outdoors, the sofa is... He's sitting outdoors,

14:23

the sofa is... The dog doesn't po

14:25

in the house. Oh, well, he's... In

14:27

the last year he's maybe done one

14:29

poo in the house. And I, you

14:31

know, and I've done three. Where was

14:33

it? I do on my poos in

14:36

the house, yeah. Where was it? Just

14:38

on some wood, so it's absolutely fine.

14:40

Some, some... How long did it take

14:42

you to discover it? Some parkier flooring.

14:44

Instantly it stinks. Everything stinks. Just just

14:46

my life stinks I've always got put

14:48

that on there when you got to

14:50

sell it put that on the listing

14:53

I've either got banana or shit on

14:55

me somewhere just something and if I

14:57

don't smell like that I smell like

14:59

perfume poo bags my life is just

15:01

yeah I when I was at the

15:03

football the final My mate had some

15:05

weird, sort of sandalwood stuff that he

15:07

like rubs on his moustache. And there's

15:10

my skincare. I started spraying moustache, using

15:12

moustache aftershave, and it really chills me

15:14

out when I'm sort of like, moustache

15:16

aftershave, but you don't moisturise your face.

15:18

Now, and I put it in my

15:20

moustache and it's like, ah, very relaxing.

15:22

So yeah, I heartily recommend buying. moustache

15:24

out of the shave. I don't think

15:27

it's supposed to mean for the moustache.

15:29

So that's like basically what those crime

15:31

scene investigators wear under their nose to

15:33

stop and retching when they get to

15:35

a crime scene. Yeah it's like it's

15:37

like the plague doctors with the flowers

15:39

and the lavender and the echin and

15:41

the nose. You know the stories of

15:44

Elizabeth the first? Was she a honking

15:46

mess? Well, in later, well, in those,

15:48

what is it, 16th century, in those

15:50

times, you know, teeth were a big

15:52

problem. People didn't really crush their teeth.

15:54

And so there's reports that when she

15:56

was receiving an audience of dignitaries or

15:58

diplomats or foreign emissaries or whatever, regularly

16:00

she's reporters having basically a match you

16:03

could barely speak because her mouth was

16:05

stuffed full of clothes. Just absolutely, what

16:07

a life, what a life, just dealing

16:09

with that all the time. Imagine someone

16:11

did like a properly accurate, you know,

16:13

period drama of what it was, because

16:15

what I thought, so if you look

16:17

at something like a wolf haul, which

16:20

isn't a million miles from there in

16:22

terms of period, like everyone's too clean.

16:24

There's no, you know, there's no, like,

16:26

that's just, it's all just kind of

16:28

British propaganda, isn't it really, it's just

16:30

kind of like. Come to Britain, find

16:32

out about the kings and the queens

16:34

and all that regal stuff. Nobody wants

16:37

to actually hear that they fucking stank

16:39

and they all had a sting days,

16:41

yeah. Yeah, Pete, I've just sent a

16:43

little link to you in the in

16:45

the laps, what's that through. Have a

16:47

look at what you think of that.

16:49

Describe what you see. Describe to the

16:51

listeners, what you're saying. It's a two

16:54

bedroom London flat above a Chinese takeaway.

16:56

It's on sale for over three quarters

16:58

of a million pounds. And it's got

17:00

its own swimming pool and spa next

17:02

to the living area. Basically, it's just

17:04

a normal common our garden, London sort

17:06

of high street flat. very unassuming it's

17:08

like every road you've ever driven down

17:11

or walked down in London and above

17:13

a Chinese takeaway the Lee Guard and

17:15

I'm sure it's very good the main

17:17

sort of room in room it's got

17:19

like a little mini sort of spot

17:21

I suppose and it's like a half

17:23

swimming pool half kind of a swimming

17:25

pool in there above a Chinese takeaway

17:27

Well, I mean, when the, when the,

17:30

when I read the title, I thought

17:32

it might be. It just looks like

17:34

a bed-sit, but instead of like the

17:36

main living area, it's got a chlorinated

17:38

pool. The workmanship must be good, no?

17:40

I just think that's... it looks it's

17:42

looks too chaotic it looks like it

17:44

kind of looks exactly like the virgin

17:47

Atlantic What do you call it? What's

17:49

the thing you sort of go to,

17:51

like sweet before you get on the

17:53

lounge? A virgin lounge at the Havana

17:55

International Airport and it looked exactly like

17:57

that. And can you imagine how chlorinated

17:59

it would all smell like it? There's

18:01

no way you can sort of get

18:04

it with that. I think it's hard

18:06

to sell that flat, surely. You are

18:08

looking for a very specialist buyer who's

18:10

very happy to spend all their time

18:12

doing upkeep of an inappropriate swimming pool.

18:14

Yeah, that is the word, isn't it

18:16

inappropriate? It's kind of like, it looks

18:18

like it should have a squash court

18:21

in there, but they've just filled it

18:23

water. It's a real mess. I have

18:25

no idea why someone has sort of

18:27

decided to do that. It looks like

18:29

an old like office, sort of property,

18:31

isn't it like... It's like a reverse

18:33

version of when wealthy people who can't...

18:35

extend their homes or buy anywhere big

18:38

in London because there's no room have

18:40

those super basements. Do you have a

18:42

super basements? It's like a big talking

18:44

point about 10, 15 years ago. Yeah,

18:46

I guess people sort of want to

18:48

maximise their situations was the two doors

18:50

down from us having their roof converted,

18:52

a lot converted. and they've built this.

18:54

When I was like about 1890 and

18:57

I used to get absolutely tanked up

18:59

at oxygen nightclub. The aforementioned oxygen nightclub

19:01

in Leicester and then about two or

19:03

three o'clock we'd get out and then

19:05

we would just spend the rest of

19:07

our night in the night until like

19:09

five, six in the morning just clambering

19:11

up and down the fire escapes of

19:14

Leicester City, a centre, like all across

19:16

the high street and stuff and I

19:18

am eyeing up these apps. You know

19:20

like going when they do a loft

19:22

conversion, when they do a loft conversion,

19:24

they sort of box it, they sort

19:26

of box it off conversion, they sort

19:28

of box it, they sort of like

19:31

box, they sort of like box, like,

19:33

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

19:35

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

19:37

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

19:39

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

19:41

like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

19:43

like, stage sort of thing and I

19:45

am looking at that and it's just

19:48

I mean I know like people who

19:50

put up scaffolding scaffolders are commonly known

19:52

by the rest of the building traders

19:54

bottom of the food chain but they

19:56

do they do do some proper freestyle

19:58

sort of thoughtful stuff don't they like

20:00

how they plan these things together it's

20:02

incredible any remembrance day memorabilia on there

20:04

no I'm waiting for them to put

20:07

them up to be honest I've not

20:09

seen anything on their van I'm hoping

20:11

that at one point they're gonna put

20:13

a poppy or a little a little

20:15

fallon soldier on the top and I

20:17

can knock down with the football our

20:19

playground was Leon so in high street

20:21

Stubington Village Dublin Village um Gospels that

20:24

was where we used to do all

20:26

that all that's all of our best

20:28

work as I've said to you before

20:30

All right Peter, let's have a break

20:32

when we come back We'll probably discuss

20:34

yet more nonsense I expect has become

20:36

the custom over the years. Ooh Boost

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