0:00

Because the fear of feeling is really at the root

0:02

of every fear, which creates a fear

0:04

of living because feelings why you're here. A

0:07

chance to feel all of life

0:09

from deep sorrow to deep bliss.

0:12

And you might wish the two would split but

0:14

the twist is that they'll always coexist because even

0:16

the heartbreak you hate today had the way paved

0:19

by a lover's kiss. I

0:22

was in the front row and I literally

0:24

had goosebumps listening to you say that.

0:28

I see creativity as our greatest

0:30

personal development tool. And every time

0:32

you step into some

0:34

form of creative expression, you're entering

0:36

into a ceremonial experience of expanding

0:39

your consciousness. To intentionally

0:41

take on the lens of an artist

0:43

is to say, I am committed to

0:45

finding the beauty that is available here

0:48

in this moment and in the past.

0:50

In your presence, people feel

0:52

more. What's causing that? I

0:54

put every bit of what I'm feeling right now as

0:56

I'm sharing with you. I put every bit of it

0:59

into this moment right now where I could easily say,

1:01

hey, can we take a moment and cut this part

1:03

out? Because I want people to

1:05

understand that it's okay to go

1:07

first. And there are some of

1:09

you right now who feel more connected to me

1:11

because I've allowed my heart to be seen. There

1:14

are some of you listening to this that feel

1:16

more inspired to let your heart be seen and

1:18

what the hell else are we doing with our time? Welcome

1:27

to the Septent of the Mindvalley podcast. Today we're

1:29

going to be talking to one of the most

1:31

magnetic personalities I've ever seen on stage. So

1:34

I just came out of Mindvalley University, Mindvalley's

1:36

epic 21-day personal world festival that

1:39

just happened in Tallinn, Estonia. And

1:41

this speaker, Adam Roa, was

1:44

the first speaker we

1:46

booked for the event. Why? Because I

1:49

happened to be on a trip with

1:51

the explorer Robert Grant in Egypt. And

1:53

Robert had invited some interesting personalities for

1:55

this trip. And as part of

1:58

this trip, we got access to

2:00

the great Paris- and in

2:02

the King's chamber of one of the pyramids,

2:06

Adam Rowa spoke

2:08

some incredible poetic words.

2:12

It was 3 a.m. on

2:14

a starry Cairo night. I

2:16

mean imagine being in the Great Pyramid of

2:19

Egypt, and those words touch my soul to

2:21

such a degree that I went to Adam

2:23

and I said, hey, you're just

2:26

unbelievably good. In five minutes,

2:29

you filled me with all of these emotions, all

2:31

of these different ideas and thoughts. I

2:33

want you to be the first speaker booked for

2:35

Mindvalley University. And here we

2:38

are in Tallinn. Mindvalley University just ended.

2:41

Adam was on stage. He got a

2:43

standing ovation. The audience absolutely loved him.

2:45

And I sitting in the audience was

2:47

mesmerized seeing this guy on stage. Adam,

2:51

just tell us a little bit

2:53

about yourself. What brought you into this

2:56

role as a stage poet? Well,

3:00

first of all, thank you for all the kind

3:02

words. And you've seen some of the best speakers

3:04

in the world. So to be even considered in

3:06

that, in your mind, is really an honor.

3:08

So thank you. And for

3:10

me, I found

3:13

my way to performance through

3:15

acting. I moved

3:17

out to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career.

3:19

I found my way to acting because I was

3:21

so shut down emotionally. My father

3:23

is a very stoic Asian male

3:26

who told me not to cry like a little

3:28

girl when I was seven years old. And I

3:30

just shut down my emotions. They were not safe

3:32

in I'm half Filipino. And

3:35

so my home, when

3:38

you mix the emotional the lack of

3:40

safety emotionally, combined with

3:42

discipline with a belt and things like that

3:45

physical lack of safety, I just completely went

3:47

inward whenever I was at home. And

3:50

over time that built up into

3:52

depression, insomnia, a lot of things

3:54

that I was struggling with. And

3:56

I searched for meaning

3:58

and substances. And so I I

4:01

abused a lot of substances in college, for

4:03

example, and it was acting,

4:06

acting that gave me the pressure release

4:09

valve. Acting was the

4:11

place where not only was it safe

4:13

to feel something, but the more I

4:15

felt, the better I was as an

4:17

actor. And so that

4:19

was my first foray into performance,

4:22

and it was my first

4:25

foray into personal development. It

4:27

was the first place that I went, I

4:29

need to understand how to feel, why

4:31

I feel what I feel, and

4:34

now I bring that level

4:36

of, this isn't just

4:38

about delivering a message, this is

4:40

about me channeling,

4:43

this is about me opening up

4:45

my heart, this is about me

4:47

allowing myself permission to feel, and

4:49

every time I step on stage,

4:52

that's what I'm doing. And I

4:54

trust that if I open up

4:56

my vessel to really be present

4:58

and really feel and just transmit

5:00

that authentically, I know the audience

5:02

will connect. I love that you

5:04

say that. So why I'm fascinated

5:06

by your process, Adam, is

5:09

that, okay, when I speak, I'm an engineer,

5:11

and when I speak, it's about data

5:13

and knowledge and facts and lessons,

5:15

and it's great, it's just my

5:17

style. But you, I saw a different

5:19

style. You are passing information

5:21

and wisdom to the crowd by literally touching their

5:23

soul, and you're doing this in this poetic way.

5:26

Let's roll this clip so that the

5:29

audience understands. And it's called

5:31

A Message From Death. Hey,

5:34

pssst, hey you, over there.

5:37

I come in peace, I mean it, come on, put her there. It's

5:41

okay, I'm not offended, I'm used to it, you

5:43

see. You humans value life so much, you don't

5:45

really value me. But

5:47

the value perceived in the life you lead is inherently

5:49

tied to me, because if no one died, it would

5:52

be tough to see the value in the very breath

5:54

you breathe. Because while life

5:56

is the meaning behind every breath, life has

5:58

no meaning unless it reminds. you of death. And

6:01

the life you are leading it always combines you

6:03

with death and life is not deceiving it always

6:05

binds you to death because even the food that

6:07

you are eating to keep the heart beating in

6:09

your chest was once alive but now has died

6:12

to keep the heart beating in your chest. Oh

6:17

relax don't feel bad it's nature's cycle it's

6:19

okay we all have a part to play

6:21

and when you learn to love it all

6:23

you can even love that the decay and

6:25

decomposition of your body buried deep into the

6:27

dirt feeds the creepy crawly critters and the

6:30

trees that grow up out of the earth

6:32

and those creepy crawly critters feed whichever bird can

6:34

get there first while those trees grow leaves that

6:37

feed the needs of animals that breed and then

6:39

give birth to babies who may be lucky if

6:41

they see a few hours on the earth before

6:43

a predator comes and eats them for lunch and

6:45

then dies and decays back into dirt. See

6:52

why are you so scared the

6:54

body you wear is already prepared for the journey

6:56

it takes when your soul's not in there and

7:00

if everything is energy what is it you are

7:02

hiding for it's all in flow

7:04

and synergy which means that you have died

7:06

before and in every other century

7:08

it means you've been alive before and on and

7:10

on for infinity it means you'll be alive some

7:12

more. Isn't it

7:15

beautiful what you

7:17

think death can't appreciate beauty my dear

7:19

that's what I want you to understand death

7:22

amplifies beauty the

7:24

impermanent nature of you determinant creatures is

7:26

one of your most magnificent features and

7:29

the teachers are in the seconds that

7:31

pass reminding you this life will not

7:33

last inviting you to let go of

7:35

the past and bask in the

7:38

present moment. How

7:40

much warmer the sun feels knowing

7:43

night is on the way how

7:46

much brighter those stars do shine knowing they'll

7:48

be gone at the dawn of day how

7:52

much sweeter that last bite tastes knowing

7:54

you can't have anymore so

7:56

why not savor every moment knowing it's never

7:58

been here before and it'll never be here

8:00

again. But when one

8:02

ends, another begins. The

8:04

winds of change bless everything with their

8:07

sweet caress and with them bring a

8:09

chance for growth from one chapter to

8:11

the next. But if you hold on

8:13

to the past thinking the last chapter was the best,

8:15

the present moments of fight and soon you will

8:17

write a new chapter full of regrets. Embracing

8:22

change is the mechanism that allows you

8:25

to keep growing. Which

8:27

isn't always easy because the ego gets quite

8:29

queasy at the very thought of not knowing.

8:32

And for some of you, quite queasy is

8:34

a nice way of saying your ego has a full

8:36

on freak out. So

8:39

terrified it cannot hide so instead decides

8:41

to speak out. Shuts

8:43

you down to new ideas. Tells you that

8:46

you're right. And if anyone questions your ideas,

8:48

well, you won't go down without a fight.

8:52

But what would happen if you let down those walls? What

8:55

lies on the other side? What would happen, my

8:57

dear, if you faced your fear and allowed your

8:59

ego to die? Like

9:02

a Phoenix, something new would rise and

9:05

you see the world through brand new eyes and

9:07

pretty soon you'd realize you're

9:09

all butterflies weaving

9:12

cocoons with threads of identity. Thinking

9:15

those threads were meant to be forever, but

9:17

that would make the cocoon a coffin. Suffocating

9:20

you in what you think you know. When you

9:22

see the cocoon is just a changing room, it

9:24

becomes a catalyst for you to grow. So

9:28

take big risks. Live

9:31

full out. Love as deeply as

9:33

you can. Pursue your

9:35

dreams. Release your doubts. Why?

9:37

Because you can. Celebrate

9:40

old age. Stop chasing youth. Don't

9:42

give up before you try. The

9:44

only constant is change. So embrace

9:46

this truth. The moment you're

9:49

born, you've begun to die. The

9:52

fear of death is the fear of change.

9:55

The fear of change is the fear of life. Don't

9:58

live your life in fear of death. change because

10:01

this life you won't live

10:03

twice. Thank

10:18

you. Adam

10:22

tell us what's happening here. Well

10:24

this is a poem about death and

10:28

the ways in which

10:30

our fear of death prevents us

10:32

from actually living our lives. And

10:35

so this message

10:38

that that is put into the

10:40

poem I think is

10:42

a powerful reminder

10:45

that only through

10:47

embracing the fact that everything

10:49

changes, everything dies, everything is

10:52

reborn, we are a part

10:54

of this greater flow, that

10:56

unlocks something in us where

10:59

we are now living our life to

11:01

the fullest. And so when

11:03

I'm on stage for me

11:06

it's it's not about me, it's

11:08

just not about me and it's about me at the

11:10

same time and there's this paradox and one of my

11:13

favorite sayings is a paradox is as close as we

11:15

get to God because God

11:17

is all of it.

11:19

God is the victim and the victimizer. God

11:21

is the one in the golden

11:24

tower and the one begging outside of

11:26

it. And so this paradox

11:29

of how that can be true when

11:31

we find that in life where when

11:33

I'm on stage this is all about

11:35

me and not about me at all

11:37

somehow simultaneously that feels true. I know

11:39

that there's something there's something divine that

11:41

can be touched in those moments and

11:44

so every time I step on stage

11:46

it's a moment where I can touch

11:49

divinity. I really love it I feel

11:51

like it's it's a spiritual experience for

11:53

me. I was in the front row and

11:55

it sent

11:57

shivers. I literally had goosebumps listening to you listening

11:59

to you say that. And the thing is, I've

12:01

heard that poem before you'd shared it at a

12:03

private gathering at my place. I heard it for

12:05

the second time, and I still had goosebumps. And

12:08

that's what leads to the topic of this podcast.

12:10

How were you able to bring that

12:12

degree of creativity, that degree

12:14

of charisma and presence on stage? I'd

12:17

love to know your process. I

12:20

believe that every single

12:22

human on this planet has

12:24

the ability to be that confident,

12:27

charismatic and passionate about

12:29

something. And

12:31

oftentimes the issue is that they just

12:34

aren't talking about the thing that they

12:36

that activates that in them. It

12:39

doesn't you find someone on the street, if

12:41

you ask the right question about a certain

12:43

subject or a thing, they might be they

12:45

might collect stamps. But when they

12:47

start talking about stamps and why they collect

12:49

them and what they mean, they will light

12:52

up, it'll activate something in them. And so

12:54

I think so many people have this idea

12:56

that they're not good on stage, and they're

12:58

not good as communicators. But

13:00

it's just they're, they're so often not

13:02

communicating about something they really love. You

13:06

know, that that really hit me. Because I realized

13:08

so often when I go on stage, I'm

13:10

speaking about the things the organizer asked

13:13

me to speak about, right speak about

13:15

scaling your business. But I'm

13:17

not really speaking about the stuff that I really love. And

13:20

so that's a really, really

13:23

powerful idea. So what is it

13:25

that you really love? Because that poem was about death.

13:27

I'm sure you don't love death. What is

13:29

it that you really love? What was that gem of

13:31

your passion in that poem? The

13:33

the gem for me is

13:35

helping people shift their perspective.

13:38

I absolutely I've been a

13:40

coach. Most of my

13:42

revenue actually has come from one on

13:44

one high level coaching professional athletes, CEOs,

13:46

etc. And I

13:49

find it almost like this game of tennis

13:51

back and forth. Because as you as an

13:53

example, if I was coaching you, you

13:55

have so much success, you are

13:57

hyper intellectual, you know so you've

13:59

done so much that will be

14:01

in a bit of a chess

14:03

match as we

14:05

go back and forth. And so

14:08

my ability to spot a pattern

14:10

that you haven't seen yet and

14:12

help you see it is like

14:16

climbing Mount Everest. There's something about it for

14:18

me. I just absolutely love- You love messing

14:20

with the way we view the world. And

14:22

yet your poem on death actually does that.

14:24

Where did that idea come from? I mean,

14:27

why pick death? I'm sure there are lots

14:29

of other ideas out there that

14:31

maybe you feel we get wrong. Why

14:33

death? Well, that one in particular was

14:36

I was invited to be a part

14:38

of a performance event. And

14:40

the entire event was looking

14:42

at different aspects of life.

14:45

And so they wanted a perspective

14:48

on death. And they said, could you write something

14:50

about death? And I went- So cool. Interesting.

14:53

Yeah, sure. I've never thought about it

14:55

before. And that took me into a process. Similarly,

14:58

I have a poem that you love and your

15:00

father I think really loves called Heaven. And

15:02

that poem was because a friend

15:05

wrote a book about

15:07

abundance. And she said, can you write

15:09

a poem for the book launch about

15:12

abundance? And I went into

15:15

my process and I realized I have tons

15:18

of poems about breakups and love. I have

15:20

none about abundance. I don't know what that

15:22

means. And I literally would sit and just

15:24

contemplate what does abundance mean to me? What

15:27

is actually happening? I was in Hawaii at the time.

15:29

I was in one of the most abundant lands

15:32

in the world. And yet I was

15:34

sitting there going, I don't know what

15:36

abundance actually even means. Am I abundant

15:38

right now? Cause I can pick fruit

15:41

from the trees, but there's

15:43

a part of me that feels like I'm not abundant

15:45

because I don't have the amount of money in the

15:47

bank account that I'm comparing myself to, whatever it is,

15:49

culture scape, as you've said before. And

15:52

I think that

15:54

creativity is the process of putting

15:56

together patterns that you've never put together before. And

15:59

every time you see... step into some

16:01

form of creative expression, whether you're gonna

16:04

write a poem, paint a painting, make

16:07

a new business, whatever it is, you're

16:09

entering into a ceremonial experience of

16:12

expanding your consciousness. It

16:14

will change the way that you

16:16

look at something. Now, what do

16:18

you choose to point that creativity

16:20

at? What is it that you

16:22

wanna shift? And this is why I see

16:24

creativity as our greatest personal development tool because

16:27

let's look at personal development. You can go into years of

16:30

therapy and that person can help reflect

16:32

to you ways to view your breakup,

16:34

your divorce, your sexual trauma, whatever, you

16:36

can view it differently based off of

16:39

someone asking you deep questions. Also,

16:41

the moment I decided to write a

16:43

poem about my sexual abuse when I

16:45

was five, the moment I

16:47

do that, I'm forcing my brain to

16:50

view that experience differently than I've ever

16:52

viewed it before. And that will loosen

16:54

the hold of the story that I

16:57

previously had about it. And as we

16:59

create new ways of viewing

17:01

old circumstances, we create new possibilities for

17:03

how that old event will impact us

17:05

in the present and impact our future

17:08

and what we can create. And

17:10

not only that, but we start to see

17:12

that the abuse or the

17:14

chaos or the failure that we experience

17:17

actually has a gem of light within it

17:20

because as we share our

17:22

lesson from it, we are healing other people,

17:26

right? You go from

17:28

the abused to the healer. And

17:31

I remember Lisa Nichols, Lisa

17:33

Nichols has a public speaking program in Mindvalley called Speak and

17:36

Inspire and she talks about this concept. She said, all

17:38

your stories, all of the chaos and the shit and the

17:41

drama that you went through in your past, if

17:43

you can find the story and the meaning behind it,

17:46

your lesson, your deep lesson, and there always is

17:48

a deep lesson and share that with the world,

17:51

you help reduce the drama

17:53

that that story has on you because

17:55

you are now helping elevate and heal

17:58

others. And the most... consistent

18:00

way that you will be able

18:02

to see beauty in the pain

18:05

is through art, through

18:07

creating it. Because artists

18:09

see the layer of beauty on

18:12

reality that is available to everyone,

18:14

but they just haven't tapped into

18:16

that frequency. The photographer sees the

18:18

way the light enters the room

18:20

differently. The musician hears the traffic

18:22

noise differently. The poet hears the

18:24

way that people are speaking differently.

18:26

And it's a layer of beauty.

18:28

It's saying, wow, this thing that

18:30

happened can be viewed

18:32

through a beautiful light. It can become

18:35

a beautiful song even if it's a

18:37

tragic event. And so to

18:39

intentionally take on the lens of an

18:41

artist is to say I am committed

18:43

to finding the beauty that is available

18:45

here in this moment and in the

18:48

past. The artist is

18:50

seeing beauty even in tragedy. I

18:53

love that. Absolutely love that, Adam.

18:55

That's beautiful. Adam, you

18:57

mentioned the poem heaven, right?

19:00

And there's a line in that poem heaven

19:02

is here now, right? That's the poem that

19:04

my father loves. I love that

19:06

poem. You also performed that at Mindvalley. With

19:08

your permission, would we be able to play

19:10

that poem? Yeah, absolutely. The

19:12

most impactful thing you can do for the world

19:14

is learn how to love life. All

19:18

of life. Show

19:20

people that being happy doesn't mean turning a blind

19:22

eye to the pain and the sadness and

19:24

the suffering that happens here. Show

19:27

them that choosing love doesn't mean ignoring

19:29

fear. It just means being willing to

19:31

feel. And

19:34

those brave souls will always heal as

19:36

long as they maintain the courage to

19:38

feel. Because the fear of feeling is

19:40

really at the root of every fear,

19:43

which creates a fear of living because feelings

19:45

why you're here. So you

19:47

can fight the fact that feelings past have felt so

19:49

freaking hard, but it's the very fact that you have

19:51

felt all that that feels like the part we should

19:54

celebrate. Investigate.

19:58

Learn to navigate with ease. Your emotions

20:00

are the gift God gives you every

20:02

time you breathe. Energy

20:05

in motion with the strength to bring a

20:07

king down to his knees and yet contained

20:09

within the emotion is the key to you

20:11

free. Yes,

20:15

contained within emotion is the gift of

20:17

what being human is. A chance

20:19

to feel all of life from deep

20:22

sorrow to deep bliss. And you might

20:24

wish the two would split but the

20:26

twist is that they'll always coexist because

20:28

even the heartbreak you hate today had

20:30

the way paved by a lover's kiss.

20:35

So you can write your list of how life's a

20:37

bitch but don't forget the asterisk because for all the

20:39

times you went through shit it fertilized a lot of

20:41

gifts. But

20:46

if you only focus on what you lack you

20:48

can't appreciate what you've got. But

20:50

with gratitude for what you have you can

20:53

see that it's a lot and that is

20:55

the difference between abundance and scarcity. It's not

20:57

about what you have it's about what you

20:59

see. So the next time you forget how

21:02

blessed you be take a moment and focus

21:04

on the next breath you breathe. The

21:08

next time you forget how blessed you be take

21:10

a moment and focus on the next breath you

21:12

breathe. And

21:15

notice you're right here with

21:17

me. A miracle,

21:21

a great mystery. A miracle, a great

21:23

mystery. Out of hundreds of trillions of

21:25

stars in hundreds of billions of galaxies

21:29

somehow, some way you're here today with me and we all

21:31

breathe on a spinning

21:34

sphere of chemicals

21:36

spiraling through the universe. You were once one of 200

21:38

million sperm you just happened to get

21:42

there first. So how could you ever say you're cursed

21:44

you've been blessed since before your birth and

21:48

you've never been blessed before. So

21:50

tell the deaf what you just heard. If

21:56

you don't like what you see go tell the blind

21:59

how much it hurts. On

22:03

your hardest day, when you really want

22:05

to walk away, go tell the paraplegic

22:07

how it's unfair. Share how

22:09

you want to run from all your problems

22:11

while he's pushed everywhere in a chair. And

22:16

I'm not saying that life is fair or that

22:18

it's easy. We all go through a lot. But

22:20

as you walk through the valley of the shadow

22:22

of death, don't lose gratitude for the fact that

22:24

you walk. Like

22:28

the fact that you can dance and sing, embrace

22:30

the abundance and the very act when you talk.

22:33

Because when you spot abundance in the

22:35

simplest things, that's when more abundance unlocks.

22:39

The simplest things. Taste,

22:42

touch, breath, smell. Did

22:46

you know there are people with something called a

22:49

nozemia, which means their sense of smell is completely

22:51

lost. So while they literally can't smell the roses,

22:53

do you want to complain you don't have the

22:55

time to stop? Because

22:58

this life is the only one that you've got

23:00

and there are people who would trade places with

23:02

you without a second thought. So no matter how

23:05

many tears, heartbreaks, or bad days you pay, the

23:07

cemetery is full of souls that know living is

23:09

worth the cost. Don't

23:12

wait till it's too late to learn that lesson. Living

23:15

is worth the cost. But

23:18

make no mistake. Being alive

23:21

is not the same thing as living. Just

23:24

like throwing something away is not the same

23:26

thing as giving. So

23:29

if you haven't yet found your love

23:31

of life, I suggest you keep on

23:33

digging and allow yourself to feel your

23:35

way through all the hurt and all

23:37

the rage. And as you

23:39

feel, allow yourself to finally turn the

23:42

page. That's how

23:44

we heal and it might hurt

23:46

like hell, but you'll have shown

23:48

us will be okay to feel

23:50

it all and still love life.

23:53

It's heaven and you'll

23:56

have helped pave the way. going

44:00

to be on Mindvalley Talks, which is like our

44:02

TED Talk style channel on YouTube, hundreds of millions

44:04

of people watch it, and you can

44:06

directly click the link and go watch Adam's talk.

44:08

And if you, this talk resonates with you, share

44:10

it. Let's get Adam's message out. Now,

44:13

Adam, for people who want to learn more about you,

44:15

before we wrap up, where can they find out about

44:17

you? The best place is

44:19

through my Instagram. That's my most active

44:21

platform. Adam.roa. R O A. I

44:24

have adamroa.com and then I have my own

44:26

podcast, the Creative Path Podcast, which you have

44:28

been a guest on. Right. That was such

44:30

an enjoyable interview. Yeah. And so, um, all

44:32

of that, all of the online real estate,

44:34

basically just Google me, type in my name.

44:36

And if someone wanted to book you to

44:38

speak on their stage, which by the way,

44:40

as a, as a seminar organizer, I highly

44:42

recommend that. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it.

44:44

Yeah. So you would just send an email

44:46

to team at adamroa.com. Okay. And do you

44:48

do any coaching? Do you help people who

44:50

are looking to get as good as you

44:52

on stage? Yeah, absolutely. One of, one of

44:54

my favorite things to

44:56

do is coach individuals, high level

44:59

individuals, CEOs, uh, artists, professional

45:01

athletes in deepening their connection

45:03

to their message and being ready to

45:06

now take that message out in a

45:08

more effective way out into the world.

45:10

And so anyone who's interested in that

45:12

or who are interested in the artistic

45:14

entrepreneurship journey, they can find out

45:16

more about that as well through

45:18

adamroa.com. I think. Thank you, Adam. Now, Adam,

45:20

for my final question, I'm just curious about this.

45:23

How do we train ourselves to feel more?

45:26

Cause you feel, and here's

45:28

what I mean. Yesterday we had coffee for two

45:30

hours, right? Yeah. And I find that often when

45:32

I'm sitting down with my male friends, um, the

45:34

conversation gravitates to business, you know, how's the

45:36

business going? Like, what are you working on?

45:39

It's, it's very business business-like

45:41

when I sit down with you, even though you

45:43

run a thriving business. I mean, as a coach,

45:45

by the way, this is, this is a guy

45:47

as a coach, he gets paid

45:49

sometimes a million dollars to be someone's

45:52

coach. So Adam is like wildly

45:54

talented, but we never spoke about business. Rather

45:56

we spoke about a heart. We spoke about

45:58

heartbreak. We spoke about. We spoke about

46:00

pain. We spoke about wanting to have kids. It

46:04

was wild. And

46:06

that level of vulnerability is

46:09

something that I find I don't have with many men, but

46:11

with you, it just comes out. What's

46:14

causing that? Because in your

46:16

presence, people feel more, but this

46:18

means that there's something that you're

46:21

radiating. What's going on there? Wow.

46:25

Well, I would take that as a huge compliment. Thank you. I

46:30

think there's a couple elements. Maybe I can dissect them. I

46:32

don't think I've ever been asked that question exactly, but there's

46:36

a few pieces. One, I was

46:38

so shut down in my life.

46:40

I was so disconnected from my emotions. I

46:42

was so disconnected from

46:44

my heart. I

46:47

was molested when I was five. That was

46:49

a repressed memory that I didn't remember until

46:51

I was 30. So I spent 25 years

46:54

feeling that there was something off in

46:56

me. But because I didn't know what

46:58

it was, I assumed that I

47:00

was off. And when combined

47:02

with what I shared about my father

47:04

and just being shut down emotionally, there

47:07

was no outlet. And so the only

47:09

safety I had was to really just

47:11

ignore what was happening inside myself and

47:13

to get to

47:15

this place now where

47:18

I mean, I could cry right now if I really just allowed myself

47:21

to go into this journey that I've been

47:23

on and the level

47:25

of hurt that I've navigated

47:27

and depression, suicidal ideations, all

47:29

of it. I

47:33

know that it's possible for everyone. I

47:36

wasn't born like this. And I

47:39

think that life has

47:42

continued to get more

47:44

and more beautiful. My

47:51

friendships have gotten so much more deep. The

47:56

visions that I feel like I have for

47:58

what's possible for me and my life. which

48:00

I never would have been able to imagine,

48:02

the type of romantic partnership that I'm capable

48:04

of, all of that is

48:06

now possible, not because of the business I

48:08

built. It's possible

48:11

because of how deeply I feel and how deeply

48:13

I'm willing to be seen and be vulnerable and

48:15

let my heart be felt by people. And

48:18

I know it's possible for

48:20

everyone. And so I

48:22

think that I want

48:24

to be a safe space for people to do

48:26

that. So if there's one thing that I do,

48:30

that creates that is I

48:32

lead with it. And so when we sat down for

48:34

coffee yesterday, I

48:37

shared a lot about what had been going through. I've

48:40

been going through personally in my love life

48:42

and some of the difficulties

48:44

that I've faced recently and how heartbreaking

48:46

they've been. And

48:49

I think that in this world where

48:51

so many people are scared of being hurt,

48:56

we live in a world that has not

48:58

yet proven or shown us evidence that

49:00

it understands how to treat the human heart as sacred.

49:04

And so every single time

49:06

that we are seeking deep connection,

49:09

which is what I think we all want, every

49:12

single time it will require us to

49:15

go first. Those of us who

49:17

have the awareness of it, we

49:19

need to go first. I

49:21

need to be willing to say to you, hey, let

49:24

me just share really deeply what's been going on

49:26

in my life so that you know that it's

49:28

safe for you to do the same thing. And

49:31

that means one of us has

49:33

to be willing to risk

49:37

rejection. And

49:39

I put

49:42

every bit of what I'm feeling right now

49:44

as I'm sharing with you, I put every

49:46

bit of it into my poems. And I

49:48

put every bit of it into my

49:51

coaching and into my social media, into my

49:53

podcast, into this moment right now where I

49:55

could easily say, hey, can we take a

49:57

moment and cut this part out? because

50:01

I want people to understand that it's

50:03

okay to go first. It's

50:07

okay to let your heart be seen. It's

50:09

okay to know that some people might make

50:11

fun of you, some people might not want

50:13

you in their life, and there

50:16

are some of you right now who feel more

50:18

connected to me because I've allowed my heart to

50:20

be seen. There are some of you listening to

50:22

this that feel more inspired to let your heart

50:24

be seen, and what the hell else are we

50:26

doing with our time? Adam,

50:31

thank you. You're an incredible gift to the

50:33

world. The reason I keep inviting

50:36

you back on stage, the reason I invite

50:38

you to gatherings that I'm doing when I'm

50:40

hosting people is because you

50:42

resonate vulnerability,

50:44

transparency, authenticity, and

50:47

when someone resonates that at such a level, it

50:49

sparks everyone else in the group to connect at

50:51

a deeper level, to bring down their facades, to

50:54

shift the conversation from the size of their

50:56

business to the size of their heart,

50:59

and that's something that I really deeply appreciate

51:01

about you. You are a gift to the

51:03

world, and I'm so grateful to

51:06

have you in our community. Thank you,

51:08

Adam Roa. Go

51:10

check out Adam on, Adam,

51:12

your website again, Adam

51:14

Roa? adamroa.com, A-D-A-M-R-O-A. And

51:17

if you get a chance to get this guy on

51:19

your stage, go for it. Thank you,

51:21

Adam. I hope you enjoyed this

51:23

episode of the Mindvalley Podcast. My name

51:25

is Vishen Lathiyani. I'm the founder of

51:27

Mindvalley, and if you like this episode,

51:29

subscribe for more incredible content from Mindvalley.

51:32

By the way, Adam Roa, what a

51:34

gem. This guy is just

51:36

incredible every time we put him on

51:38

stage. If you like this episode, I

51:40

want you to know that Adam is

51:42

going to be one of several incredible

51:44

teachers speaking at Mindvalley's

51:46

Future Human Festival happening in Dubai,

51:49

January 10, 11, and 12, 2025.

51:54

This is an incredible event

51:56

with world-class teachers focused on

51:58

the skills to help. you gain

52:00

an edge in 2025. Go

52:02

check out mindvalley.com, Future Human, and

52:04

maybe I'll see you there.