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If you or anyone

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you can find

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some helpful

1:53

resources in our

1:56

show notes. The

1:58

missing released its... episode

2:00

in December 2020. In the

2:02

four years since we've covered

2:05

more than 70 missing-person cases

2:07

across the UK and Ireland.

2:09

In the course of our

2:12

work we've spoken to hundreds

2:14

of parents, spouses, sons, daughters

2:16

and friends whose brave and

2:19

unvarnished testimonies have shone a

2:21

light on a grim phenomenon

2:23

that more often than not

2:26

is underreported in our communities.

2:29

Their stories have taken us

2:31

everywhere from the control chaos

2:33

of London's busiest boroughs to

2:36

the quiet and lonely peaks

2:38

of the Scottish Highlands. We've

2:40

been brought along on voyages

2:42

of discovery in the Canadian

2:45

wilderness, navigated the Caribbean by

2:47

catamaran and even undertaken pilgrimages

2:49

to the holiest sites of

2:52

mainland Europe. All of this

2:54

to say that of the

2:56

170,000 people who vanish in

2:58

the United Kingdom every year.

3:01

No two missing-person cases are

3:03

the same. Some people are

3:05

overwhelmed following lengthy battles with

3:07

severe mental health issues, whilst

3:10

others have found themselves under

3:12

too much pressure, whether familial

3:14

or financial. There are those

3:17

who fall down the rabbit

3:19

hole of addiction and can't

3:21

climb out. And there are

3:23

people who simply found themselves

3:26

in the wrong place at

3:28

the wrong time in the

3:30

wrong company. And then... There

3:33

are the cases where the

3:35

circumstances remain a total and

3:37

utter mystery. By revisiting some

3:39

of the interviews we've recorded

3:42

over the past four years,

3:44

we hope to illustrate just

3:46

some of the myriad reasons

3:48

why people go missing and

3:51

paint a picture of what

3:53

life is like for the

3:55

loved ones left behind to

3:58

pick up the pieces. This

4:00

podcast wouldn't exist without them.

4:02

I'm Pandora Sykes and you're

4:04

listening to what's the story

4:07

original podcast series brought to

4:09

you with the help of

4:11

the charity's missing people and

4:13

locate international. They believe that

4:16

all of the cases in

4:18

this series could still be

4:20

solved. This is the missing.

4:23

One sentiment shared by many

4:25

of our interviewees is how

4:27

a missing person. can trap

4:29

the people left behind in

4:32

time, as if they are

4:34

frozen in amber. When someone

4:36

passes away, as difficult as

4:38

it often is, we know

4:40

culturally what to do. We

4:42

have rituals, traditions. They are

4:44

designed to help us process

4:46

the loss and to navigate

4:48

through the grief. But what

4:50

if the tragic event you're

4:52

confronted with is a question

4:54

mark, rather than a full

4:56

stop? If you are unable

4:58

to confirm whether someone is

5:00

alive or dead, then there's

5:02

no one to bury, there's

5:05

no one to mourn. Instead,

5:07

you are faced with an

5:09

empty space in your life,

5:11

where that person used to

5:13

be. In fact, empty spaces

5:15

are often how these stories

5:17

typically begin, whether it's a

5:19

vacant seat on the bus,

5:21

normally occupied by a friend,

5:23

the cold side of the

5:25

bed, that was once warmed

5:27

by a partner. or in

5:29

the case of the Gosden

5:31

family, an empty dining room

5:33

chair. Now normally he'd have

5:35

been downstairs in our, we

5:37

have a converted basement, he'd

5:40

have been down there with

5:42

his Xbox, or he'd have

5:44

been up in his room,

5:46

as I say, reading or

5:48

something. So obviously we shouted,

5:50

no reply came, you know,

5:52

he's... Not heard of so,

5:54

I think Charlotte went wandering

5:56

around the... house to figure

5:58

out where he'd got to.

6:00

Andrew Gosden lived with his

6:02

sister Charlotte, Mum Glenis and

6:04

Dad Kevin, who's talking to

6:06

us now in a terraced

6:08

house in the Yorkshire town

6:10

of Doncaster. This Friday evening

6:12

was the end of a

6:15

busy week for them all.

6:17

A new school term had

6:19

recently started and it was

6:21

the last golden days of

6:23

summer before the leaves started

6:25

to fall and outdoor coats

6:27

became mandatory. Family dinner

6:29

was a definite ritual in

6:31

the Gosden household, but tonight's

6:33

wouldn't go according to plan,

6:36

because Andrew wasn't there. Yeah,

6:38

we did the obvious things

6:40

like ring friends, neighbors, just

6:42

thinking, oh, you know, he's

6:44

a few doors up at

6:46

his mates, and they've started

6:48

playing snooker and he's lost

6:51

track of time. By this

6:53

point, it was way past

6:55

dinner time. The cottage pie

6:57

was growing cold on the

6:59

kitchen table. Then we sort

7:01

of, you know, gradually figured

7:04

out from those sorts of

7:06

calls that Andrew hadn't made

7:08

it to school at all

7:10

that day. So where was

7:12

Andrew? Where had he been

7:14

all day? For Kevin, the

7:16

fact that Andrew had missed

7:19

school immediately run alarm bells.

7:21

From there I think we

7:23

started doing things like trying

7:25

the hospital in case there's

7:27

been an accident and had

7:29

been admitted. But really, yeah,

7:31

it was at that point

7:34

that we thought something is

7:36

really off here. Charlotte and

7:38

Kevin left the house to

7:40

search. They spent the next

7:42

few hours looking in alleyways,

7:44

snickets and fields. They retraced

7:47

Andrew's route to school, but

7:49

there was no sign of

7:51

him. By the time they

7:53

returned home, they returned home.

7:55

Andrew still hadn't appeared. That

7:57

point was when we picked

7:59

up. the phone and called

8:02

the police. Most missing people

8:04

return home within the first

8:06

24 hours. But during that

8:08

first call with a South

8:10

Yorkshire police officer, the Gostens

8:12

were insistent that Andrew wasn't

8:15

the type of boy to

8:17

disappear for any length of

8:19

time. He'd never missed a

8:21

day of school. You know,

8:23

every year or term or

8:25

whatever it was, he came

8:27

home with 100% attendance certificates.

8:30

Something had changed. Andrew was

8:32

now missing overnight. He wasn't

8:34

just late at home. He

8:36

was gone. That initial phone

8:38

call to the authorities is

8:40

a particularly fraught moment. A

8:43

bell that cannot be unrun.

8:45

Diling that number is an

8:47

acknowledgement that something terrible has

8:49

potentially occurred. that your life

8:51

may have irrevocably changed. In

8:53

the case of Muhammad Muhammad

8:55

Ali, whose wife Fatima vanished

8:58

from their New Haven home

9:00

in February 2016, he sensed

9:02

something was amiss from the

9:04

moment he walked through the

9:06

door. As I entered the

9:08

home, there was no noise

9:11

on it. Usually should be

9:13

in the kitchen cooking or

9:15

something, you know? Or there

9:17

would be some TV playing

9:19

or music playing. been made

9:21

for nearly 38 years at

9:23

that time, you know, you

9:26

know, there was no smell

9:28

of cooking in the house,

9:30

you know, no cluttering sound

9:32

in the kitchen or anything,

9:34

you know. I thought maybe

9:36

she's upstairs, be old, you

9:39

know, so, you know, I

9:41

just went in and I

9:43

started shouting her name Fatima,

9:45

my Fatima, my Fatima, no

9:47

answer. So I went upstairs,

9:49

you know, she wasn't upstairs.

9:52

So I came down and

9:54

I noticed the khaki wallet,

9:56

a purse, everything in the

9:58

lounge. table when I thought,

10:00

that's a bit bizarre. But normally

10:03

she would never go anywhere without

10:05

the car. I called her mobile. I could

10:07

hear the ringing sound upstairs in the

10:09

bedroom. So I went upstairs and I

10:11

saw her phone. And I said, that is

10:14

definitely something wrong here now. By

10:16

mid-afternoon, Mohammed made the call he

10:18

was treading. I called the police straight

10:20

away. I started panicking, started

10:22

crying, thinking, you know, the

10:25

negative thoughts always go into your

10:27

headfirst. thinking, has somebody come in

10:29

the house and done something

10:31

to her? The first police, two

10:33

policemen arrived within about five minutes.

10:36

They went around the house and then

10:38

they told me to sit down and

10:40

then one of them went away and

10:42

then the next thing I know another

10:45

four police turns up and that's

10:47

that's when my, I started

10:49

really really panicking and getting

10:51

scared. I

10:54

was told to sit down that took

10:56

my phone away. I was not allowed

10:59

to answer anything or I was allowed

11:01

to go anywhere. I took my car

11:03

keys, her car keys, and I knew

11:05

something is not right. Something is

11:08

not right. It's a devastating

11:10

fact that in many cases

11:12

of a missing woman, the

11:14

person responsible is a male

11:16

partner. Violence against women is

11:18

a huge social issue. It shows

11:20

up time and time again in

11:23

missing persons cases. And so one

11:25

of the first things that an

11:27

officer will do when a woman

11:29

goes missing is to take a

11:31

statement from a male partner if

11:33

there is one, carefully log the

11:35

partner's story and make sure they're

11:38

not keeping any secrets. While

11:40

Muhammad knew he had nothing to

11:42

hide, it didn't make the experience

11:44

any easier to cope with. You

11:46

feel hopeless and helpless and helpless

11:48

because... It's a police matter and

11:50

I was told not to go

11:52

anywhere, you know, even when I

11:54

went to the kitchen to get

11:56

water, one of the women police

11:59

have followed me. looking

12:01

around the house and when

12:03

in the ethic in the

12:05

garden in the shed and

12:07

When the other two detectives

12:10

when they turned up after

12:12

a couple of hours That's

12:14

when I knew I was

12:17

scared. I knew I was

12:19

absolutely scared thinking Am I

12:21

going to be accused of

12:23

something that I have done?

12:25

Who amongst us hasn't spotted

12:28

a police officer in the

12:30

street only to get paranoid

12:32

that we're somehow breaking the

12:34

law? As you can imagine,

12:36

calling them to your home

12:38

to report your spouse missing

12:40

multiplies those feelings tenfold. But

12:42

in the case of Stephen

12:44

Clark, who vanished during a

12:46

walk with his mother, in

12:48

the seaside village of Saltburn,

12:51

in December 1992, those anxieties

12:53

turned out to be well-founded.

12:57

I was on a conference

13:00

call with work and

13:02

there was a knock at

13:04

my front door. So I

13:07

went to the door

13:09

to open it and

13:11

there were two detectives

13:13

standing on the

13:15

doorstep and said to

13:17

me, can we come in?

13:19

really panicking about what's happened. And

13:21

I just dropped my kids at

13:24

school. So I knew they were

13:26

there and they were safe and

13:28

I knew my husband was upstairs

13:30

working in his office. And I

13:32

thought, God, something's happened to

13:35

my mom and dad. So I

13:37

was already kind of on edge.

13:39

Anyway, they walked in and they said

13:41

to me, look, there's no easy

13:43

way to say this. So we

13:46

might as well just come out

13:48

with it. We've just arrested. your

13:50

parents on suspicion of murdering Stephen.

13:53

Victoria's heart dropped to

13:55

her stomach. Had she been

13:57

given a million guesses as to

13:59

why the... police were at her door.

14:01

She could never have imagined

14:04

this. They then got a warrant

14:06

to search my mom and

14:08

dad's house and garden and

14:11

basically turned the place upside

14:13

down. And then they turned

14:15

up one morning and told

14:17

my mom and dad that

14:19

they had two hours, I

14:21

think, to get out of

14:23

the house because they were

14:25

sending in forensics and diggers

14:27

and what have you. And at

14:29

one point there were about nine

14:32

police vehicles outside my mom and

14:34

dad's house and a forensics tent

14:36

up in the garden, they dug up

14:38

the garden, you know, looking for who

14:40

knows what, and of course didn't find

14:43

anything. But this was in the middle

14:45

of COVID as well, so we were

14:47

in the middle of lockdown. My mom

14:49

and dad had to go and stay in

14:51

a hotel. They couldn't come and

14:53

stay with me even though I

14:56

wanted them to because it was

14:58

against the rules and against the

15:00

law and you know they just

15:02

didn't want any further kind of

15:04

police scrutiny if we broke the

15:06

rules by them coming to stay here

15:08

with me so they ended up staying

15:10

in a hotel you know locally and

15:12

just and they were there for about

15:15

five days so just turfed out of

15:17

the house and and then had

15:19

everything dug up and rummaged through.

15:21

So it was a very, very

15:23

difficult time. And of course, of

15:25

course they didn't find anything. They

15:27

took my mom and dad's mobile

15:29

phones and iPads and they kept

15:31

them for months and months and

15:33

months. Like what on earth do

15:35

they think they're going to find

15:37

on them? Stephen's parents were

15:39

ultimately never charged with

15:41

anything. And his case is an

15:43

outlier in many respects, but that

15:45

doesn't change the fact. that

15:48

reporting someone missing will inevitably

15:50

draw attention to the people

15:53

closest to them. Attention begets scrutiny,

15:55

and if enough people are looking

15:57

at you in a small enough...

15:59

case, like in the case

16:02

of missing six-year-old Mary Boyle,

16:04

who vanished from her parents'

16:06

farm in Donnie Gould in

16:08

1977, it can feel like

16:10

the whole world is watching.

16:12

For Anne, Mary's twin sister,

16:14

who was identical to her

16:16

in every conceivable way, the

16:18

moment when hundreds of people

16:21

began scouring the countryside for

16:23

her sister, became a memory

16:25

that has stayed with her

16:27

ever since. My uncle

16:29

Michael who's no longer what has

16:31

said to me one day about

16:33

going out to search And when

16:36

we got so far he'd this

16:38

torch and he said to me

16:40

oh God on my way with

16:42

a garage torch really go back

16:45

with it and Sister Mary had

16:47

been missing for days Setting in

16:49

motion one of the largest search

16:51

operations that Ireland had ever seen

16:53

Anne accompanied her uncle walking with

16:56

him to a spot about five

16:58

minutes away from the farmhouse. She

17:00

was under the impression that she

17:02

was helping with the search, and

17:04

she was just not in the

17:07

way that she thought. Now what

17:09

I didn't realize, they were getting

17:11

me to do the reconstruction. But

17:13

they weren't telling me that it

17:16

was a reconstruction. Unbeknownst to Anne,

17:18

as she walked back to return

17:20

the torch, she passed under the

17:22

watchful gaze of police, family members,

17:24

and volunteers. They observed the route

17:27

she took back to the farmhouse

17:29

with rapt attention, hoping it might

17:31

tell them something, anything about what

17:33

had happened to her sister. Like

17:35

most twins, Mary and Anne would

17:38

often take advantage of the fact

17:40

that outside of their immediate family,

17:42

people struggled to tell them apart.

17:44

But Anne could have never anticipated

17:47

having to step into her sister's

17:49

shoes for something as harrowing as

17:51

this. We knew that something bad

17:53

was happening that there was no

17:55

saying to Mary, but... like we

17:58

I thought she'd be found a

18:00

known entertainment I didn't expect that

18:02

this morning years later we still

18:04

wouldn't know. Whilst the family conducted

18:07

their increasingly frantic search of the

18:09

surrounding area Anne and the rest

18:11

of the children were brought to

18:13

their uncle's house nearby in an

18:15

effort to insulate them from the

18:18

panicked environment of the farmhouse. The

18:20

whole thing was scary because like

18:22

you went from... Just being yourselves

18:24

and then there was people everywhere

18:26

like, so it was, it was

18:29

scary as a child it was.

18:31

There was a drama festival on

18:33

on Balashan and it was announced

18:35

at the festival but a little

18:38

girl had been missing and people

18:40

landed out after the festival to

18:42

help. Like they came from everywhere,

18:44

they came from Kinkasla, you know,

18:46

and those bus loads came from

18:49

Kinkasla to help. They came from

18:51

everywhere to help in the search.

18:55

Anne's mother appeared on the

18:57

news imploring anyone with information

18:59

to come forward. Engaging with

19:01

the media, as Mary's mother

19:03

did, is a road well

19:05

travelled when it comes to

19:07

missing person cases. In a

19:09

perfect world, getting the word

19:11

out across television, newspapers and

19:14

social media is a vital

19:16

publicity tool. The more people

19:18

who know that your loved

19:20

one is missing, the more

19:22

likely you are to locate

19:24

them. But what if the

19:26

newspapers don't cover your loved

19:28

one's disappearance? What if there

19:30

is no publicity? What then?

19:32

In season two, we dedicated

19:34

an episode to the many

19:36

missing people who, because they

19:38

weren't white, failed to get

19:40

their coverage their cases deserved.

19:42

We spoke to Yasmin Lejoyer,

19:44

who explained the challenge that

19:47

some families face to get

19:49

their cases covered. She also

19:51

discussed the bias known as

19:53

missing white woman syndrome, which

19:55

means that when a young,

19:57

white, middle-class woman goes missing,

19:59

her case pretty much always

20:01

makes the front of the

20:03

paper. We love the stories,

20:05

so the media tells us

20:07

the stories which reinforce, who

20:09

dies at the hands of

20:11

an evil man. It's a

20:13

trope that's as old as

20:15

time. It's almost like a

20:17

fairy tale, you know, like

20:20

the white victim, who's like,

20:22

you know, being victimized by

20:24

this awful evil force or

20:26

spirit. And yeah, I mean,

20:28

we love the stories, so

20:30

the media tells us the

20:32

stories, which reinforces the narrative.

20:34

It's like a catch 22,

20:36

you know. Susie Lamplew was

20:38

one such case which never

20:40

seemed to leave the public

20:42

consciousness. Susie was a 25-year-old

20:44

full and based estate agent

20:46

who vanished in 1986 and

20:48

her family have come to

20:50

learn that a consistently high

20:53

level of media attention can

20:55

be a mixed blessing. almost

20:57

from day one far as

20:59

we were concerned. And at

21:01

the time in July, which

21:03

is a very slow news

21:05

time, the press started to

21:07

lap it up as such

21:09

and they needed to fill

21:11

their columns and so the

21:13

newspapers were printing lots of

21:15

stories and trying to get

21:17

the information out. This was

21:19

a double-edged sword for the

21:21

family. On the one hand,

21:23

the more people who knew

21:25

about the case, the higher

21:28

the chance that someone would

21:30

have some information which could

21:32

help find her. But on

21:34

the other hand... We must

21:36

have been about a week

21:38

or so after Susan's disappearance,

21:40

and I was washed the

21:42

floor after we'd done some

21:44

stuff, and I was putting

21:46

newspaper down on the floor

21:48

just to dry it and

21:50

stop people slipping. And there

21:52

was Susan's picture on the

21:54

floor and I was going,

21:56

oh, do I want people

21:58

to walk over? My sister's

22:01

picture. So why, when hundreds of

22:03

people go missing every day,

22:05

did Susie's case gain so

22:07

much attention? The fact that

22:09

Susie was young, white and middle

22:11

class was a key one. There is

22:13

a social assumption that things

22:16

like this don't happen to

22:18

women like her. And her

22:20

disappearance left nothing but

22:22

questions. Other key reasons a

22:24

case may hit the front page

22:26

include a quiet newsday. a crime

22:29

happening in the capital,

22:31

and a compelling photograph.

22:33

The media and the British

22:36

public were highly invested

22:38

in finding Susie. Her

22:40

family couldn't do anything

22:43

but ride the wave. We

22:45

weren't famous for anything other

22:47

than my sister disappearing, but

22:49

everyone knew our name and

22:52

knew the story at the

22:54

time. Being

22:56

a family of a missing

22:58

person can feel like an

23:00

endless process of seeding control.

23:02

The police control the search, the

23:05

media controls the narrative,

23:07

and you are left with nothing

23:09

to control, but your emotions,

23:11

which are of course, often the most

23:14

difficult thing of all. It's

23:16

hardly surprising that when an

23:18

investigation appears to be stuck

23:21

in a holding pattern, some families

23:23

decide to do some detective work,

23:25

of their own. That was the

23:28

case for Claire Palmer and

23:30

her family who took the

23:32

search for her missing brother

23:35

Mark into their own hands

23:37

after he disappeared while working

23:39

in Spain in April 2019.

23:42

And I think it was about

23:44

a week after Mark had

23:46

been missing after the last

23:48

time he was seen that my

23:51

husband and I flew out to

23:53

Spain. Parallel to the investigation

23:55

being conducted by the Spanish

23:57

authorities, Mark's family and... a

24:00

search of their own, spearheaded by

24:02

Claire. She started working her way

24:04

through her contacts and quickly managed

24:07

to enlist the help of numerous

24:09

concerned friends and relatives from back

24:11

home, all eager to make the

24:13

trip to Spain and pitch in

24:16

wherever they were needed. Before long,

24:18

Claire found herself pouring over grid

24:20

maps and delegating tasks to volunteers.

24:23

So I'd seen plenty of... search

24:25

is performed on TV either as

24:27

real-life documentaries and my husband's an

24:30

A&E nurse so he's incredibly organised

24:32

and we realise that if we

24:34

were going to conduct a search

24:37

you needed to be done systematically

24:39

and we needed to track exactly

24:41

who was searching what and where

24:44

so that we weren't doubling up

24:46

and we weren't wasting time and

24:48

resources because some people could only

24:50

fly out for a couple of

24:53

days and they had work and...

24:55

children's commitments. So we were very

24:57

conscious of time and to utilise

25:00

every single person that we had

25:02

so it was it was a

25:04

very systematic process. The family's efforts

25:07

were not exactly welcomed by the

25:09

local police who found themselves under

25:11

the microscope once Mark's disappearance started

25:14

picking up media attention. I think

25:16

we became quite... quite a nuisance

25:18

as well in the local area.

25:20

So because we were everywhere, there

25:23

was a local news station that

25:25

picked up on it and they

25:27

did an interview with my dad

25:30

outside in Spanish to Spanish news

25:32

and it was in the local

25:34

newspaper as well. Claire, the rest

25:37

of Mark's family and their small

25:39

army of dedicated helpers continued their

25:41

search. Collectively, they spent days and

25:44

days and days. combing the streets

25:46

of Antignon. Despite their best efforts,

25:48

they failed. to uncover anything of

25:50

relevance. Eventually we had to call

25:53

it quits. I was studying for

25:55

my masters, so I was on

25:57

a particular program and I had

26:00

to pause the studies. And I

26:02

remember we were searching, we were

26:04

outside and we were searching a

26:07

particular stretch of river that Mark

26:09

liked to visit. and I had

26:11

to have this conference call with

26:14

my two supervisors or the people

26:16

that ran the program and they

26:18

said, do you want to completely

26:21

pause the studies? And then you

26:23

come back the following year. Mark

26:25

really enjoyed was sort of living

26:27

vicariously through me, through my education

26:30

and he was incredibly proud with

26:32

me and he knew that I

26:34

wanted to do a PhD. So

26:37

he was, I hadn't even got

26:39

my master's yet and he was

26:41

already calling me doctor. I didn't

26:44

want to. postponed the studies. So

26:46

I had to have that conversation.

26:48

That was very difficult because essentially

26:51

we were going home empty handed.

26:53

We were going home with no

26:55

real solid leaves and no mark.

26:57

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Hundreds of miles away from home

28:51

in a place where you and

28:53

the authorities may not necessarily speak

28:55

the same language, is something several

28:58

of our interviewees have found themselves

29:00

up against. When Sarm Hesselop, a

29:02

41-year-old South Hampton native, vanished from

29:05

the catamaran she shared with her

29:07

then-boyfriend while making her way across

29:09

the Virgin Islands, her mother Brenda

29:11

and friend Andrew, were an ocean

29:14

away, trying to find out. What

29:16

was happening in the midst of

29:18

a global lockdown? What can I

29:21

do so far away? We couldn't

29:23

fly out. We couldn't go over

29:25

there because of the restrictions. We

29:28

weren't allowed. We could have gone,

29:30

but we would have had to

29:32

have spent two weeks in Barbados

29:35

or somewhere like that. So we

29:37

were waiting for the restrictions to

29:39

be lifted. Brenda found it near

29:41

impossible to get updates on her

29:44

daughter's case. No, we had to

29:46

push for the police to give

29:48

us any information. The first call

29:51

I had from the police was

29:53

from a constable called Shinneika Simon,

29:55

and she had this great big

29:58

long form for me to answer.

30:00

questions too, about you know any

30:02

identifying marks, did she have a

30:05

false leg, did she you know

30:07

how was her hearing, did she

30:09

have hearing aids and all this.

30:11

That went on for about 10

30:14

minutes. Goodness knows why they asked

30:16

me that because they asked me

30:18

you know the same questions again

30:21

and again. Andrew did his best

30:23

to apply pressure from his side

30:25

and get information flowing more freely.

30:28

In the beginning, those kind of,

30:30

in those very early stages, yeah,

30:32

it was probably kind of the

30:35

point person in the UK for

30:37

kind of understanding what was going

30:39

on, obviously trying to gather resources

30:42

around what we could do and

30:44

what was happening and, you know,

30:46

I was having conversations with. contacts

30:48

I had from you know and

30:51

talking to the phone on Commonwealth

30:53

office and kind of try and

30:55

get assistance at their end and

30:58

trying to just understand what was

31:00

happening in terms of the search

31:02

and what had been done or

31:05

what was being done in those

31:07

early days which was which was

31:09

quite fragmented you know what was

31:12

happening from the officials perspective what

31:14

were the police doing what were

31:16

the you know what was happening

31:18

from a search perspective you know

31:21

was it a land search a

31:23

sea search you know what What

31:25

were some of those things that

31:28

were going on? I didn't get

31:30

the feeling that there was a

31:32

joined up plan. The COVID-19 pandemic,

31:35

which prevented Psalm's loved ones from

31:37

immediately travelling to St John to

31:39

lend a hand with the investigation,

31:42

was a major impediment to missing-person

31:44

searches worldwide. Whilst the overall number

31:46

of missing-person cases went down, Social

31:48

distancing made large-scale search operations close

31:51

to impossible, something Anthea Langelan learned

31:53

when her son Kian went missing

31:55

in Falkara, Donnie Gaul, in September

31:58

2020. I

32:00

had to self-isolate for two weeks.

32:03

I had a place to stay

32:05

on my own, but I had

32:07

to stay there on my own

32:10

because of COVID. And I couldn't

32:12

really join the searches. I could

32:15

drive to where the search was

32:17

going to happen and all the

32:19

local people were out with their

32:22

dogs and friends and looking for

32:24

Kian. So there were land air

32:27

and sea searches that we had

32:29

divers and we had air. a

32:31

flying club that went over to,

32:34

you know, looked at a whole

32:36

area for two or three days

32:38

after he went missing and there

32:41

was no sign of him. Being

32:43

confined to her car whilst others

32:46

tried to locate her son was

32:48

an excruciating experience for Anthea. Watching

32:50

through a windscreen, unable to join

32:53

in as volunteers searched the cliffs

32:55

and valleys of Dunfanehi was a

32:58

form of torture that Anthea wouldn't

33:00

wish on her worst enemy. It's

33:02

just awful. Awful. I mean, there

33:05

was a woman who came up

33:07

to the car knocked on the

33:10

window and said, oh, come in

33:12

for coffee. I said, I can't.

33:14

You know, I can't because of

33:17

the COVID, you know. And it

33:19

was just, he was just sitting,

33:21

I was sitting in the car

33:24

watching and people go, you know,

33:26

with their dogs. And, you know.

33:29

my my goddaughter lived in Tanfanaheshi

33:31

was there with her sisters and

33:33

you know it was it was

33:36

a tremendous amount of support so

33:38

I did get support but it

33:41

was just I would have loved

33:43

to have had a hug you

33:45

know and I couldn't get close

33:48

to anybody. Kian like many of

33:50

the people whose stories we featured

33:52

on this podcast had had long-standing

33:55

struggles with his mental health. They

33:57

stand from a frustration with his

34:00

place in the world and his

34:02

inability to find a role that

34:04

brought him consistent peace and joy.

34:07

These anxieties can manifest in a

34:09

number of ways. For Thomas Moore,

34:12

his led him on an ever-evolving

34:14

search for meaning that saw him

34:16

travel the globe visiting sites of

34:19

religious significance. For his brother Ben,

34:21

this meant he was never quite

34:24

sure when his brother was missing,

34:26

and if he was even want

34:28

to be found. I think these

34:31

trips were like for him a

34:33

huge source of fulfillment because otherwise

34:35

the alternative wasn't that great. I

34:38

mean the alternative was to just

34:40

be stationed at the flat that

34:43

the council or the NHS had

34:45

given him in Richmond and to

34:47

be expected to take medication. You

34:50

know there wasn't really any particularly

34:52

fulfilling lifestyle there. Tom travelled to

34:55

places of worship in France, America

34:57

and Bosnia. He would typically leave

34:59

without telling anyone where he was

35:02

going, and he'd often have to

35:04

be brought back by his family

35:06

when he ran out of money.

35:09

For Ben, these rescues were never

35:11

an imposition. In fact, he looks

35:14

back at them as bonding experiences

35:16

for him and his brother. When

35:18

I went out there to Bosnia,

35:21

we didn't just come straight back

35:23

to England. We traveled back across

35:26

land slowly, you know, we were

35:28

away for a good couple of

35:30

weeks. And we went through Italy

35:33

and all sorts. That was a

35:35

great old adventure we had. By

35:38

2003, Tom, now in his 30s,

35:40

had moved into a flat in

35:42

Richmond. We used to play chess

35:45

occasionally and we embarked on a

35:47

game. We're both pretty good at

35:49

chess. And I was beating him

35:52

actually, I was winning. And I

35:54

think he just, he said, look,

35:57

let's put it on hold. It

35:59

was a magnetic chessboard as well,

36:01

so it's quite easy. to keep

36:04

games on hold. He said, let's

36:06

put it on hold and we'll

36:09

finish off next summer, see you.

36:11

That would be the last time

36:13

that Ben saw his brother. There

36:16

wasn't no clue, no idea that

36:18

he was going anywhere at all.

36:20

And you know, he might not

36:23

have even known himself. One day

36:25

in July, shortly after returning from

36:28

a family holiday in Cornwall, Tom's

36:30

parents came home. to find that

36:32

he'd gone. He had left behind

36:35

a note which read, I am

36:37

going away for some time and

36:40

I don't know when I shall

36:42

be coming back. None of us

36:44

were particularly worried because we just

36:47

thought I'd go and find them

36:49

again. In the modern world we've

36:52

never been more connected, more accessible

36:54

to one another. But sometimes this

36:56

can simply highlight how distant we

36:59

feel from the people in our

37:01

lives. especially the ones that rely

37:03

on us. Kevin Fasting had long

37:06

struggled to relate to his father.

37:08

A 49-year-old liver podleon, also named

37:11

Kevin, who has been missing since

37:13

2003. At the time when you're

37:15

a kid, you don't realize, I

37:18

think, but you don't think how

37:20

profound it can be necessarily until,

37:23

you know, maybe you're an adult,

37:25

but again, I think... it's probably

37:27

more common with men, you know,

37:30

you try and bottle up the

37:32

emotions, so to speak, so I'm

37:34

sure it has had, you know,

37:37

an effect on me and, you

37:39

know, maybe, I mean, my, you

37:42

know, my friends and people close

37:44

to me, you know, some of

37:46

them comment that, you know, it

37:49

could come out one day in

37:51

regard to whether I'm going to

37:54

have a breakdown, but yeah, you

37:56

know, it does all go profound

37:58

effect. was a chasm that he

38:01

had struggled endless. to bridge. When

38:03

he attempted to take his life

38:06

the final time before he went

38:08

and then he moved into Manan

38:10

and Granddad, that's when then he

38:13

started to see someone professionally I

38:15

think. Before that I think he

38:17

was just under he got prescribed

38:20

sleep and tablet and that was

38:22

it. I think as well you

38:25

know this you're talking nearly 20

38:27

years ago now so mental health

38:29

awareness has come a long way

38:32

certainly in the last five or

38:34

six years especially in the last

38:37

20 years. So... I don't think

38:39

the support was there, to be

38:41

honest. Kevin was assigned to a

38:44

therapist through the NHS, something Kevin

38:46

Jr. only discovered in recent years,

38:48

after clearing out some of his

38:51

dad's belongings. I collected all this

38:53

stuff and there were some notes

38:56

from when he was seeing a

38:58

therapist. and it was asking him

39:00

certain questions, you know, how he

39:03

felt around the time and stuff

39:05

and he, it was quite upset

39:08

and to read actually because he

39:10

said he couldn't really face his

39:12

kids because he felt like he'd

39:15

let them down and he was

39:17

a failure. We started this episode

39:20

by talking about empty spaces. None

39:22

of us are perfect. We all

39:24

have issues we could try a

39:27

little harder to fix. Rough edges

39:29

we could spend more time sanding

39:31

down. but overly fixating on your

39:34

shortcomings is not a path to

39:36

a peaceful life. In many missing-person

39:39

cases, there is an instance when

39:41

someone vulnerable has become consumed by

39:43

what they are not, the supposed

39:46

gaps or voids in their lives

39:48

that they will try anything to

39:51

fill, and that can lead to

39:53

some very destructive places, particularly if

39:55

you have a predilection to addiction.

39:58

In extreme cases, this can remove

40:00

a person's ability to make rational

40:02

choices, leaving them in surroundings and

40:05

company that aren't good for their

40:07

health. Fannock was barely a teenager

40:10

before she first encountered hard drugs.

40:12

She was very very strong-willed, very

40:14

independent and you know she said

40:17

I was out of friends tonight

40:19

I go okay okay darling you

40:22

know stay safe come back see

40:24

in the morning and then things

40:26

were changing and happened I thought

40:29

I didn't really I took notice

40:31

but didn't take notice because you

40:34

think oh she's that age She's

40:36

going through puberty, stroppy teenager. I

40:38

didn't realise that it was something

40:41

much more serious and that she

40:43

was heavily into drugs. At the

40:45

age of 14, whilst at a

40:48

party, Carmel had been introduced to

40:50

crack cocaine by a friend and

40:53

she had been using it heavily

40:55

ever since. Deirdrie was completely and

40:57

utterly blindsided. the view and the

41:00

media is a lot to blame

41:02

for this when they show you

41:05

junkies that's with air quotes pictures

41:07

of junkies look at this this

41:09

one's been on crack cocaine this

41:12

is how she looked five years

41:14

ago this is how she looks

41:16

now and look at this one

41:19

sniffing glue look at this drug

41:21

addict look at that drug addict

41:24

they're all dirty disheveled scabbed scabbed

41:26

What baffled Deirdri most was how

41:28

normal her daughter seemed when she

41:31

was at home. That was the

41:33

thing. Carmel was never rude. Never

41:36

came in with attitude to me,

41:38

never ever gave me back chat,

41:40

but you could see there were

41:43

some subtle changes in her. It's

41:45

hard to explain. It's like she's

41:48

suddenly coming and went there, yeah,

41:50

well, whatever. She never ever spoke

41:52

to me like that. She was

41:55

like two different people. I mean,

41:57

I remember coming to the living

41:59

room one day, she was sat

42:02

in front of the TV, and

42:04

she was listening to Puff Daddy,

42:07

I'll be missing you. And I

42:09

just walked up behind her, and

42:11

we just hugged. Nothing needed to

42:14

be said, just, you know, we

42:16

just hugged. For a long time,

42:19

Carmel managed to keep her lives

42:21

separate, until one day, when her

42:23

worlds violently collided. robbed with her

42:26

and really lost the plot with

42:28

her. She said, oh, I'll pick

42:31

Casey up from school. And I

42:33

said, okay, darling, you know. Then

42:35

she picked Casey up from school

42:38

at 3 o'clock, 9 o'clock at

42:40

night, they still hadn't come home.

42:42

We had Joey, we were out

42:45

searching for them, pop back home,

42:47

and she had been back. Next

42:50

thing, Casey came in the back

42:52

gate by herself at about 10

42:54

o'clock at night. Where's Carmel? And

42:57

she went, in case she was

42:59

about four or five, and she

43:02

went, she's gone to get me

43:04

sweets. And her Joey, run, run,

43:06

catch her, Joey, because she, although

43:09

she hasn't gone far, but she's

43:11

left that child on the street

43:13

by herself to come into the

43:16

house and she's gone. And I

43:18

actually caught up with her and

43:21

discovered that she had been sat

43:23

in a crack-house all afternoon with,

43:25

with, with... with Casey

43:28

and I just hit her, I

43:30

just punched her, I did. I

43:32

couldn't control myself. Why? Why? Even

43:35

after that, you know, a week

43:37

later she's back home like nothing's

43:39

happened and I'm beside myself, I've

43:42

done that. Beside myself and that

43:44

I said, I think that was

43:46

the deciding moment to get the

43:49

heck out of London and I

43:51

spoke to her and she went

43:53

okay, yeah, okay mom. I'll do

43:56

it. I'll do it. I'll do

43:58

it. And I'll be okay, darling,

44:00

who? you know, we'll have a

44:03

fresh start, it'll be good." Carmel

44:05

never got a proper shot at

44:07

a fresh start. A year and

44:10

a half later, on May the

44:12

21st, 1998, she vanished, last seen

44:14

in the company of an older

44:17

man in central London. Her story

44:19

is not an uncommon one, and

44:21

it's only by addressing the root

44:24

causes of addiction that we can

44:26

have any hope of saving the

44:28

next person. An

44:32

experience that a lot of people

44:34

with missing loved ones share is

44:36

the urge to preserve things as

44:39

they were at the time that

44:41

their loved one vanished, as if

44:43

somehow, however irrational this might seem,

44:46

it will increase the odds of

44:48

a reunion. For Robert and Julie,

44:50

the parents of Anthony Stammers, who

44:53

vanished from his home in Colchester

44:55

at the age of 27, keeping

44:57

things the same as the same,

45:00

was essential. Since their son went

45:02

missing in 2012, they have made

45:04

no changes to their house. They

45:07

have kept the same car. Julie

45:09

has even maintained exactly the same

45:11

hairstyle. To other people it might

45:14

sound very very strange but yes

45:16

I would keep their hairstyle the

45:18

same just in case it didn't

45:21

recognise me if I grew it

45:23

long or changed it or whatever.

45:25

sounds madness to other people but

45:28

to me it made sense and

45:30

yes I would when I used

45:32

to come in the door I'd

45:35

say hi Anthony you know it's

45:37

me just in case you'd come

45:39

back and was in the house

45:41

and yeah it it's kind of

45:44

I suppose a comfort in a

45:46

way somehow it's bringing in some

45:48

kind of normality when there is

45:51

no normality there. The stammers didn't

45:53

go on holiday for years. for

45:55

fears that Anthony would return in

45:58

their absence, and they'd miss their

46:00

chance to reconnect. we finally decided

46:02

we needed a break and we

46:05

had a whole thing we got

46:07

c c TV put in so

46:09

that we could check everybody coming

46:12

and going from our house in

46:14

case he came back and of

46:16

course you could get an app

46:19

on your phone so that you

46:21

could check it all that and

46:23

we had a ring doorbell installed

46:26

so that that sort of records

46:28

everybody coming up to the front

46:30

door. these sort of things put

46:33

your mind a little bit of

46:35

rest and you feel that you

46:37

can at least go out of

46:40

the house. Robert and Julie's efforts

46:42

to find their son extended far

46:44

beyond Colchester. I mean if we

46:47

were going away anywhere we would

46:49

take some posters with us and

46:51

we would never miss an opportunity.

46:54

to take it for granted that

46:56

he could be anywhere so we

46:58

would take it that posters we

47:00

would have dropped in at local

47:03

churches libraries as he's an avid

47:05

reader libraries were very good they

47:07

would always take a poster even

47:10

to put in their staff rooms

47:12

so that you know if he

47:14

came in suit runs street pastors

47:17

we contacted early on all sorts

47:19

of things We've done lots of

47:21

searches around London, North, East, South,

47:24

London. So yeah, I mean it

47:26

just becomes second nature. Many people

47:28

we've spoken to, like the Nutleys,

47:31

whose son James disappeared, whilst on

47:33

a golf trip to the Welsh

47:35

seaside town of Tenby, found that

47:38

the people in their lives didn't

47:40

quite know how to address the

47:42

elephant in the room. Even things

47:45

as simple as what tense, in

47:47

which to discuss the person, became

47:49

a conversational minefield. People came to

47:52

visit, so there was lots of

47:54

cups of tea and talk about

47:56

it and then gradually less people

47:59

came and then after that we

48:01

thought life's got to go on.

48:03

but people would, in the village,

48:06

they'd sort of put their heads

48:08

down and walk the other side

48:10

of the road. How do you

48:12

memorialise someone whose ultimate fate is

48:15

unknown? It's a question that many

48:17

of our interviewees have pondered at

48:19

length. The answer varies from family

48:22

to family. If you're religious, they

48:24

might hold an annual mass. If

48:27

their place of worship is

48:29

more informal, then once a

48:31

year, they might buy an

48:34

extra pint at their favourite

48:36

pub. One that remains undrunk

48:38

and is toasted in memory.

48:40

For the family of Neil

48:42

Skinner, who vanished while hiking

48:44

in the Scottish highlands, nowhere

48:47

felt more appropriate for a

48:49

ritual than the mountain he

48:51

disappeared on. It

48:59

hit me when I saw

49:01

this pile of boulders that

49:03

the police had put there

49:05

to mark where dad's tent had

49:07

been. That was a really difficult

49:10

point for me. So I just

49:12

stood back a bit because it

49:15

did hit my dad's sister particularly

49:17

exactly as it had hit me

49:19

and she just broke down when

49:22

she saw this pile of boulders

49:24

where dad had been. So we

49:27

all just hugged each other and...

49:29

stood around and looked where

49:31

dad had camped and the

49:33

weather was amazing. It was

49:35

absolutely stunning that weekend. It

49:37

was bright sunshine. In fact,

49:39

we'd all got our fact 50

49:41

on. It was so hot. And

49:44

my auntie, Sue, so my dad's

49:46

brother's wife had taken out a

49:49

rhubarb and ginger cake that she'd

49:51

baked. Neil had always been fond

49:53

of a molt whiskey. So his

49:56

son, Matt. brought something special to

49:58

toast his father. So he'd made

50:00

some slow gin and some bramble

50:02

whiskey and he'd got hit flasks

50:04

with that in and I'd bought

50:06

some plastic cups out with us.

50:08

So we all just got a

50:10

tipple in our cups and we

50:12

just stood around where dad had

50:15

camped and we all just raised

50:17

a glass to him and then my

50:19

auntie came up with this lovely

50:21

idea of all collecting another stone

50:23

from the little beach area around

50:25

the lark. and then just placing

50:28

it on the pile of boulders

50:30

where dad's tent had been and

50:32

just when you place your stone

50:34

down either have a thought in

50:36

your head about him or say

50:39

something about him out loud a

50:41

memory that you'd had. So we

50:43

did that and then we'd I'd

50:45

ordered an oak memorial plaque

50:47

and we placed that on

50:50

the peninsula where dad had camped

50:52

that last time and we spent

50:54

about two. couple of hours

50:57

just all sort of sharing

50:59

stories and sitting around eating

51:01

cake and slow gin and

51:03

bramble whiskey and sandwiches. The

51:06

plaque was not a gravestone nor

51:08

was it a sign that they had

51:10

given up on finding Neil but

51:12

for Kate and her family

51:14

it felt important to

51:16

plant something. Yeah because

51:19

when somebody goes when

51:21

somebody dies you usually have

51:23

a funeral. And that is the

51:25

time that you would do that. You

51:27

just, you know, from all corners of

51:30

the country, you usually

51:32

get together, you know, bury that

51:34

person and then you have

51:36

a wake afterwards and that's

51:38

the time you get together

51:40

and talk about that person's

51:42

life and memories. And we

51:44

haven't had that. That is just

51:46

so missing in our life. So to

51:48

have done that, which will be

51:50

really the closest we'll ever get.

51:53

unless we find his body, please

51:55

God one day. So to just have

51:57

that time together as a family and...

52:00

just reflect and yes we cried

52:02

but we also laughed and had a

52:04

laugh and we've got so many pictures

52:06

that we took of that weekend so

52:08

it was it was a really special weekend

52:11

for definitely for me and I

52:13

know my auntie and uncle messaged

52:15

me afterwards and just said thank

52:17

you so much for organizing that

52:20

it was really a milestone in

52:22

the grief process that they needed.

52:24

This episode marks the end of

52:26

this series and the end of

52:28

my time hosting. the missing. The series

52:31

has been a part of my

52:33

world for the last four years

52:35

and it has been the most

52:37

enormous privilege to spend that

52:40

time with you, the listeners.

52:42

I have been enraged, moved, touched,

52:44

confused, and agonized by

52:46

the stories of the families

52:49

and friends who have lost

52:51

someone they love. But I also

52:53

remain hopeful that the keys to

52:56

at least some of these stories

52:58

still lie out there. somewhere

53:00

and only by continuing to

53:02

talk about the long-term missing.

53:04

Will we find them? The

53:07

series has generated numerous

53:09

leads with information passed

53:11

on to locate international.

53:14

The charity has recruited

53:16

over a hundred

53:18

volunteer investigators to

53:21

continue their important

53:23

work. The missing will continue

53:25

after this. with new

53:27

cases from the US

53:29

and Canada every week.

53:31

And the series will

53:33

be reporting on more

53:35

stories from across the

53:37

globe throughout 2025. As for

53:40

the UK, 2025 will see

53:42

the missing go deeper

53:44

in an expanded format,

53:46

which will take one

53:48

single case and explore

53:50

all of the leads

53:52

over the course of

53:54

the series. Stay tuned

53:56

for more information early in

53:59

the new year. I cannot wait

54:01

to listen. The reason I wanted

54:03

to work on the missing

54:05

is because it's powered by

54:07

a social conscience not often

54:09

seen in media today. I

54:11

know that the show will

54:13

continue to be remarkable in

54:15

my absence. I am grateful

54:17

for its existence and grateful

54:20

to have been a very

54:22

small part of it. The series

54:24

is made with the help

54:26

of the charities missing

54:28

people. and locate international.

54:30

Visit our website the missing

54:32

podcast.org where you'll find more

54:35

information on every other case

54:37

we featured in the series.

54:39

On our site you can

54:41

join the conversation and

54:43

help with the investigation.

54:45

There's a dedicated forum

54:47

moderated carefully by locate

54:50

where you can get

54:52

updates on the case,

54:54

share your theories, and

54:56

discuss the facts. with

54:58

real investigators from Locate

55:00

International. The series is

55:02

also made with the

55:04

help of missing people, a

55:06

charity who offers support to

55:08

the families of the missing.

55:10

Their helpline is open to

55:13

offer support and advice if

55:15

you've been affected by anything

55:17

in this episode. We can't

55:19

say this enough. It takes

55:21

just one person with the

55:23

right information to solve. any

55:26

of the cases in this

55:28

series. The Missing is a

55:30

What's the Story original podcast.

55:32

It's hosted by me, Pandora

55:35

Sykes. This episode was

55:37

produced, written and edited

55:39

by Jacko Kennedy. Executive

55:42

producers for What's the

55:44

Story are Darryl Brown and

55:46

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