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moth listeners, it's Leanne. You're about

1:00

to hear a great story, and

1:03

the reason why is because of

1:05

the direct support of listeners like

1:07

you. The moth is a non-profit.

1:10

While donations to partners like public

1:12

radio are important, we rely on

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your generosity to bring stories and

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storytellers all over the world from

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Nebraska to Nairobi. Please consider donating

1:21

today by visiting the moth.org. or

1:24

texting give 24 to 78679. Thanks

1:26

for listening. This is the

1:29

moth radio hour from PRX.

1:31

I'm Sarah Austin Janice. This

1:33

is our annual December holiday

1:36

episode. We have stories of

1:38

feasts, traditions, celebrating, not celebrating,

1:41

connecting with family and friends

1:43

and just wanting to be

1:46

alone. Six stories that explore

1:48

the mixed emotions that come

1:51

with this last month in

1:53

the year. Our first storyteller

1:55

is moth veteran Peter Aguero.

1:58

Peter calls this story me

2:00

and mama versus Christmas. Lots

2:03

of people go overboard at

2:05

Christmas. It's a time of

2:08

excess. The decorations and the

2:10

gifts and the food, but

2:12

what if money is tight?

2:15

Peter told the story at

2:17

a moth night we produced

2:20

in partnership with West Virginia

2:22

Public Radio. Here's Peter Aguero.

2:28

So I just finished my first semester

2:30

of college and I have a big

2:32

bag of laundry and I come through

2:34

the door of the house and things

2:36

aren't looking too good for me and

2:38

my mom. The first thing I notice

2:40

is that the piano is gone. She

2:42

had that ever since she was a

2:44

little girl and took piano lessons. We

2:46

always put the nativity on top of

2:49

it around Christmas time. I took piano

2:51

lessons for two weeks, but I still

2:53

took piano lessons on that piano and

2:55

that's gone. I go through the living

2:57

room and the only thing that's left

2:59

is just one couch that's with broken

3:01

spring sticking out of it. There are

3:03

two televisions, one on top of the

3:05

other, one has picture that works and

3:07

one has sound that works. Over in

3:09

the corner are the impressions still from

3:11

my dad's lazy boy that has been

3:13

gone for four years now. And that's

3:15

the only furniture in the room. I

3:18

go upstairs, the dining rooms empty. There

3:20

used to be this big beautiful dining

3:22

room set with carved chairs and a

3:24

glass break front and a buffet table.

3:26

And that's gone. In the kitchen, there's

3:28

the kitchen set. There's two chairs. There

3:30

used to be four, but I broke

3:32

one of them. And the other chair.

3:34

I also broke. There's only two left

3:36

and I go upstairs to the bedrooms

3:38

and in my mom's room There's nothing

3:40

left but her mattress on the floor

3:42

and there's nothing quite as Damming as

3:44

a bedroom without furniture because You you

3:46

see all the dings and the scratches

3:49

in the wallpaper like all the mistakes

3:51

that can usually be covered up, but

3:53

You see them all now. My sister's

3:55

room is exactly the way it looked

3:57

when she moved out to go live

3:59

with my dad. It's peptobismal pink walls

4:01

and a canopy bed and this big

4:03

toy box in the shape of a

4:05

rubber strawberry as if she was going

4:07

to move back in and be the

4:09

little girl that she was before she

4:11

moved out. My room looks exactly the

4:13

way it was when I left. There's

4:15

posters all over the walls and it's

4:18

ridiculous like me. So I start to

4:20

do my laundry and my mom comes

4:22

home from work and she immediately takes

4:24

over. It doesn't let me do it

4:26

myself. And I end up helping her

4:28

with it. And she's happy to see

4:30

me. She's happy that I'm home. When

4:32

we're done that, we go up to

4:34

have dinner. My mom makes tomato casserole.

4:36

It was canned tomatoes with cubes of

4:38

wonderbread and American cheese baked in the

4:40

oven. If you put enough shaky shaky

4:42

cheese on it, it's delicious. So we're

4:44

sitting there in the two kitchen chairs

4:47

and where I'm telling her all about

4:49

my first semester of college and how

4:51

it finished up and she's so proud

4:53

of me and she's telling me about

4:55

work. My mom's a nurse and she's

4:57

been taking all of the shifts and

4:59

she's been taking all of the shifts

5:01

that she can but she had warned

5:03

me that she was starting to have

5:05

to sell stuff in the house to

5:07

be able to catch up on the

5:09

bills because the house was too big

5:11

for the two of us now that

5:13

I was away at school. You know,

5:16

she had just taken a second job

5:18

of part-time seasonal job at the mall

5:20

behind the perfume counter My mom didn't

5:22

like people telling her what to do

5:24

so I knew that wasn't going to

5:26

last very long And while we're sitting

5:28

there at dinner, she tells me that

5:30

she says people we're not going to

5:32

have a lot of money this year

5:34

for Christmas So I don't think we're

5:36

going to be able to give each

5:38

other presents and I said that's okay

5:40

mom and I'm being completely honest I'm

5:42

just happy to be home with her

5:45

with her I don't need anything And

5:47

that's the truth. And we sit there

5:49

eating quietly for a minute and then

5:51

she says, you know, it'll be funny,

5:53

what if we cut out pictures of

5:55

things from magazines that we would give

5:57

to each other if we could? And

5:59

I... We laughed about it, and then

6:01

we cried about it, because it's really

6:03

sad. It's a really sad thing. But

6:05

then we laughed again, because no matter

6:07

how hard things are, you just have

6:09

to laugh, you know. The

6:11

next day I decided I'm going to make

6:14

the house look as Christmas-y as possible and

6:16

I go up to the attic and I

6:18

get the boxes down at the lights and

6:21

I hang the lights in the bushes out

6:23

front and around the gutters. I want to

6:25

go get a Christmas tree. I grew up

6:27

a small town in New Jersey called Delanco.

6:30

It was a small town, 2,500 people, mostly

6:32

farms. At that time there wasn't Walmart or

6:34

big stores or anything. So I went over

6:37

to the local Christmas tree farm to get

6:39

a deal because I used to date their

6:41

daughter. Turns out they didn't give me a

6:43

deal because I used to date their daughter.

6:46

And a Christmas tree was like 40 bucks,

6:48

man. I couldn't afford that. So I went

6:50

back home and I got an old saw

6:53

out of the garage and I cut out

6:55

a tree from the side yard and I

6:57

brought it in. It wasn't even like a

6:59

pine tree. It was like a stunted maple

7:02

tree and I put it in. It was

7:04

like a stunted maple tree and I put

7:06

it in the tree holder. When I was

7:08

visiting my friends who were also home from

7:11

college, I would steal their mom's fancy catalogs

7:13

and bring them home and cut out pictures

7:15

of stuff. My mom always wanted a green

7:18

Jaguar convertible. I found a picture of one

7:20

of those, cut her out pictures of gold

7:22

and diamonds and jewelry and island. Like all

7:24

these things that I would love to be

7:27

able to give my mom for Christmas. And

7:29

like, as I was doing it, I knew

7:31

it was sad. It was like a sad

7:34

thing. to do, but I kept collecting them

7:36

and folding them up and tying them up

7:38

with ribbons and hiding them in my room

7:40

and I was waiting to put them under

7:43

the tree. And like I said, it was

7:45

a sad thing, but I knew it was

7:47

something that would bring us together. I knew

7:49

it was something that we would always be

7:52

able to hold on to together, you know.

7:54

There was one night in mid, toward the

7:56

end of December, close to... Christmas when we're

7:59

sitting there in the living room watching the

8:01

TV's and the Charlie Brown Christmas special is

8:03

on one of the TV's hooked up the

8:05

cable and the other one gets the antenna

8:08

so the sound doesn't quite jibe up you

8:10

know and we're sitting there we're sitting there

8:12

we're sitting there and we're sitting there just

8:15

sitting there just right next to each other

8:17

on the couch we're world's apart my mom's

8:19

exhausted I've been trying to get her to

8:21

sell the house for years because I knew

8:24

it was just too big when all four

8:26

of us were living there and I don't

8:28

know why they got it in the first

8:30

place, but four years before that. My parents

8:33

who had been separated on and off the

8:35

whole time that they were married They were

8:37

giving it one last try and the plan

8:40

was that they were going to Sell the

8:42

house and take the money and we were

8:44

going to move to Georgia from Jersey and

8:46

have a fresh start and that was the

8:49

big plan and and It went along okay

8:51

for a couple of weeks and then somebody

8:53

Just came in and poured the eggshells all

8:56

over the floor again and they started the

8:58

fight and things were back the normal and

9:00

that fresh start never really happened and it

9:02

us, the four of us, and the third

9:05

Pewa at St. Cosmers Church in Riverside, New

9:07

Jersey for Christmas Eve, midnight mass. And right

9:09

before the priest started the mass and the

9:11

packed church, my dad stood up and he

9:14

walked out of the church. And the only

9:16

sound you could hear in the sound of

9:18

the church was the hydraulic door just goes

9:21

shoo-shoo- And the four of

9:23

us, the three of us left stood up

9:25

and we went outside past the priest and

9:27

everyone we knew him. We walked the two

9:30

blocks to where the car was parked and

9:32

my dad was nowhere to be found, but

9:34

he left the keys of the car on

9:36

the hood. And that year, my parents were

9:39

done. That was it. I got what I

9:41

wanted for Christmas that year. My parents never

9:43

got back together. But so

9:45

here we are now today the the two

9:47

of us sitting on this couch and Trying

9:49

to watch this thing and let us be

9:51

happy of something and she's a million miles

9:54

away It's all killing her trying to pay

9:56

the bills trying to keep it together. She's

9:58

everything she could to try to keep the

10:00

house so there will be some semblance of

10:02

normalcy to the outside world. I know that

10:04

she took a big hit on her pride.

10:06

She's a very pride for woman and I

10:08

knew that when everyone that she knew in

10:10

her life saw our family disintegrate that midnight

10:12

mass I knew that it was just ripping

10:14

her apart but she was trying to keep

10:16

the house together you know and she was

10:18

a million miles away. My mom was my

10:20

best friend. It was the two of us

10:22

man. She was my partner. She was like

10:24

she was like my road dog. She was

10:27

like my road dog, my road dog. You

10:29

know it. Being there with her and having

10:31

her be a million miles away was killing

10:33

me. Just like I knew this house was

10:35

killing her too. Well, you know, it got

10:37

to be Christmas Eve and my buddy Brian

10:39

came over and picked me up when we

10:41

went to a different church for Midnight Mass.

10:43

When you're under 21, you can't go to

10:45

a bar so you go see your friends

10:47

at Mass. And we split a jug of

10:49

wine in the parking lot and we went

10:51

and the Mass was awesome. It was pretty

10:53

great. And afterwards,

10:55

I come home and the next morning

10:58

I wake up and it's Christmas morning.

11:00

So I go and I gather up

11:02

all the little pictures of the gifts

11:04

that I want to give to my

11:06

mother. All wrapped up and tied in

11:09

ribbon and I put them under the

11:11

tree. And I hear my mom stirring

11:13

upstairs and she comes downstairs and her

11:15

hairs and corkskrues and she's got this

11:17

big flannel house coat on and her

11:19

big red plastic Sally Jesse Raphael morning

11:22

glasses with the broken earthing on the

11:24

side taped up, taped up, you know.

11:26

And I say, Merry Christmas, Mom, and

11:28

she goes, oh, honey, oh, hold on.

11:30

And she goes upstairs, and she's up

11:32

there for a minute, and then she

11:35

comes back down, and she has a

11:37

few. And I give her hers first,

11:39

and there's, you know, there's the Jaguar

11:41

and the jewelry and the island, and

11:43

a picture of a baby grand piano,

11:46

and a picture of a new mahogany

11:48

bedroom set, and all these things I

11:50

wish I could replace for her. And

11:52

she's smiling and laughing the whole time.

11:54

And then when it's all done, she

11:56

gives me mine. And there's... three of

11:59

them. There's a picture of a bag

12:01

of Reese's peanut butter cups. There's a

12:03

picture of a pair of Homer Simpson

12:05

slippers and there's a picture of a

12:07

karaoke machine and they were all from

12:09

the same Rite Aid catalog that was

12:12

up in her bathroom because she had

12:14

completely forgotten about this thing that I

12:16

thought was going to bring us together

12:18

because she was working so hard. So

12:20

we're stuck in the middle of this

12:23

Oh Henry story that he never should

12:25

have written and... And I

12:27

thank her so much for the gifts and

12:29

we go upstairs and my mom makes the

12:31

best pancakes in the world You might think

12:33

your mom does, but I'm so sorry you're

12:36

wrong My mom made the pancakes and but

12:38

this morning she burned them a little bit

12:40

and I'm sitting in the kitchen eating these

12:42

pancakes, cutting around the burnt pieces, and I'm

12:44

looking out through our backyard at everybody else's

12:46

houses, and all the light in their houses

12:49

looks like orange and colorful and friendly with

12:51

all these people, and our house just feels

12:53

empty and stark and white, and the fluorescent

12:55

light eating these pancakes and silence together, the

12:57

two of us. A couple months later, she

12:59

finally did send me my present. I was

13:02

back in college. I had taken out all

13:04

the tuition and loans and we couldn't afford

13:06

it otherwise but it was important to her

13:08

that I'd go. And I had just finished

13:10

a day of classes and I was heading

13:12

to the dining hall and I stopped over

13:15

to check my mail. Remember mail? When people

13:17

used to send mail and I opened up

13:19

the mailbox and there's an envelope with my

13:21

mother's postmark on it. And I take it

13:23

up and I fill up my... to the

13:26

dining hall and I fill up my tray

13:28

with too much food because that's what you

13:30

do and I go over to a table

13:32

and I sit down and before I start

13:34

eating I open up that envelope and inside

13:36

there's no note there's just one photograph it's

13:39

of her standing in front of the house

13:41

with a for sale sign and the house

13:43

sold pretty quickly and if she got it

13:45

she offloaded it and she took a little

13:47

bit of a hit financially and she took

13:49

a bigger hit on her pride and she

13:52

moved in a much smaller

13:54

place that she could

13:56

afford that you know could

13:58

her. I know it

14:00

hurt her and it

14:02

took a big hit

14:05

but the most important

14:07

thing to me was

14:09

her, then. it We're looking at that

14:11

picture. I got my girl

14:13

back. most important

14:15

thing to me was,

14:18

right then, we're looking

14:20

at that picture, I

14:22

got my girl That

14:24

was Peter Aguero. you. Peter says at the

14:26

moment he's most likely to be found.

14:28

be pottery and listening to the

14:30

almond brothers. the almond makes his

14:33

home in Queens with his wife Queens with

14:35

his mom is now his mom is

14:37

now happily for Christmas traditions,

14:39

Peter and his mom now do

14:41

breakfast with as many meats

14:43

as possible. many Last year, Peter

14:45

says, Last made a says mom made breakfast,

14:47

meat and it was pretty awesome.

14:49

pretty awesome. Tracy

14:57

Sagara is our next storyteller. She

14:59

won an open-mike moth slam in New

15:01

York New we partner with public radio

15:03

station public radio And that win earned

15:05

her a spot in a a

15:07

slam, a which is where this story

15:09

was told. this The theme of

15:11

the night was theme pains. was Here's

15:13

Tracy live at the mall. Thank

15:15

much. at the moth. It's 1996, and I'm 1996

15:17

from I'm on an express bus from

15:19

the Bronx, heading into Manhattan to

15:21

go wedding dress shopping with my future

15:23

mother -in -law. And I'm not

15:26

looking forward to this to this and I

15:28

are not exactly friends. friends.

15:30

and I come from very

15:32

different worlds. worlds. She is

15:34

Sicilian from the Bronx, waitress and

15:36

a secretary and a Jehovah's

15:38

Witness, devout Jehovah's Witness, this

15:40

strange religion. I know nothing

15:42

about it. about. And I'm I'm this

15:44

middle class Jew from Long Island, so

15:46

when I start dating her son, her

15:48

a a Jehovah's Witness, who she dearly would

15:51

like to come back into the fold, into

15:53

she and I kind of circle each

15:55

other each other warily. And we are polite but

15:57

cold. But when Fred Fred and I decide

15:59

to get married... I realize that I should

16:01

make some effort to get to know

16:03

this woman who's going to be part

16:05

of my life. So here we are.

16:07

And the ride down is very uncomfortable.

16:10

She and I have never been alone

16:12

in a room together, so it's very

16:14

awkward. But when we get to the

16:16

bridal salon and I start trying on

16:18

all these gowns, she tells me I

16:20

look beautiful in every single one. Which

16:22

is a complete lie, but the sweetest

16:24

of lies. And I feel myself starting

16:27

to soften towards her. And then afterwards

16:29

when we get back to the Bronx

16:31

and it's time to say goodbye, she

16:33

suddenly grabs me and she gives me

16:35

a hug. And it's the kind of

16:37

hug that tells me how much it

16:39

must have meant to her that I

16:42

invited her to do this with me.

16:44

And it breaks open a place in

16:46

my heart for her and we start

16:48

to become friends. And over the next

16:50

two years, we bond over the two

16:52

things that Rita loves the most, eating

16:54

and shopping. Nobody can devour a lobster

16:56

like Rita Romeo. And she doesn't care

16:59

where she shops. It could be a

17:01

dollar store, a hardware store, although dollar

17:03

stores are her favorites. She just loves

17:05

to shop. But then when my twin

17:07

daughters are born in 2000, she is

17:09

my Savior. I'm so overwhelmed by these

17:11

creatures. And every Friday, she comes out

17:13

from the Bronx, and she spends the

17:16

weekend with us. And when I hear

17:18

that screen door open each Friday, it's

17:20

like, the cavalry has arrived, and I

17:22

can finally breathe. And she absolutely adores

17:24

her granddaughters, but she is not your

17:26

typical cookie-baking grandma. She's a Sicilian from

17:28

the Bronx, you know? And one year

17:30

when the girl's about two or three,

17:33

I hear her talking to them in

17:35

the other room. And I hear her

17:37

say, oh, I love you so much.

17:39

I just want to punch you. But

17:47

she also has her tender side and

17:49

once when we go to visit them

17:51

in the Bronx I noticed that she's

17:53

been stealing things from the girls like

17:55

little things like a stuffed animal or

17:57

a barrette and I can't figure out

17:59

why Until it dawns in me that

18:01

she literally wants something of theirs to

18:04

hold on to when she can't be

18:06

with them. When the girls are about

18:08

four, I send out holiday cards every

18:10

year, usually just seasons, greetings, cards. But

18:12

this year I decide to send out

18:14

a Hanukkah card. The girls are getting

18:16

a little older. I'm starting to think

18:18

a little older. I'm starting to think

18:20

about sending them to Hebrew school. But

18:23

I don't send it to Rita, because

18:25

witnesses don't celebrate holidays. But I do

18:27

send it to Fred's a friend who

18:29

from his mother. And she tells them

18:31

that since we've decided to raise our

18:33

daughters as Jews, that she can no

18:35

longer be part of our lives. And

18:37

I'm shocked because she and I have

18:40

never discussed religion, so I had no

18:42

idea she might feel this way. And

18:44

then I'm hurt because this is me,

18:46

you know, like how could she do

18:48

this to me? And then I get

18:50

angry because this has to be the

18:52

most anti-Semitic thing that's ever happened to

18:54

me, and this is my family. But

18:57

then I think, oh, you know, she's

18:59

just in shock. She'll get over it.

19:01

She'll call me. She'll apologize. And everything

19:03

will be fine. And so I wait.

19:05

But after four weeks of waiting, it's

19:07

clear. She's not calling. And so then

19:10

I dig in and I say, you

19:12

know what? If she cannot accept us

19:14

and how we're going to raise our

19:16

daughters, then I don't want her in

19:18

my life. And I'm done. And months

19:20

passed. And months passed. But about nine

19:22

months later. A new dollar store opens

19:24

up in my neighborhood, and I think

19:26

of Rita, and I want to call

19:28

her. And the urge to call her

19:31

is just so strong that I pick

19:33

up the phone. I have no idea

19:35

what I'm going to say, and she

19:37

answers on the first ring. Hi, I

19:39

say, it's Tracy. Hi, she says. I

19:41

miss you, too, she says. And just

19:43

like that. It's over. It's over. It's

19:45

over. It's over. It's over. It's over.

19:47

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's

19:49

over. It's over. It's over. It's over.

19:51

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's

19:54

over. It's over. It's over. It's over.

19:56

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's

19:58

over. It's over. It's over. It's over.

20:00

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's

20:02

over. We never discuss it. We just

20:04

step over that time in our lives

20:06

as if it never happened and over

20:08

the next seven years she becomes my

20:10

second mother. In 2011, Rita passes away.

20:12

And I miss her. I miss her

20:15

every day. But I think about what

20:17

we almost missed. Like that time when

20:19

the girls were five and they had

20:21

their first and only ballet recital where

20:23

they proved that they were much more

20:25

adept at Pratfalls than graceful purewets. Or

20:27

the time when they were eight, and

20:29

we told ghost stories around the fireplace.

20:31

I know I would have been justified

20:33

all those years ago in keeping Rita

20:35

out of my life. What she did

20:38

was hurtful and cruel, and it was

20:40

wrong. But in the end, I decided

20:42

I didn't want to stand on my

20:44

principles. If it meant I had to

20:46

stand there all alone. At the end

20:48

of her life, I go to visit

20:50

Rita, because I need to tell her

20:52

how much she meant to me and

20:54

what an impact she had on my

20:56

life. And she tries to see something

20:59

back, but she's wearing an oxygen mask,

21:01

and it's really difficult to understand her,

21:03

and then the moment's just gone. So

21:05

I don't know what she wanted to

21:07

tell me. But I'd like to think

21:09

that it was some variation of, I

21:11

love you so much. I just want

21:13

to punch you. That

21:23

was Tracy Sagara at

21:25

a moth-grant slang. Tracy

21:27

is a former wire

21:29

service reporter turned marketer.

21:31

In her free time,

21:33

she hosts and produces

21:35

her own Long Island-based

21:37

storytelling show. Now you're

21:39

talking. Tracy said, Rita

21:41

was a hell of

21:43

a woman. I wish

21:45

she had lived to

21:47

see her granddaughters grow

21:49

up. Tracy and her

21:51

daughters celebrate Hanukkah and

21:53

Christmas. They like candles

21:56

every night of Hanukkah,

21:58

and every Christmas they

22:00

exchange gifts and have

22:02

a traditional dinner. They

22:04

also like to bake

22:06

unique holiday treats, to

22:08

see a photo of

22:10

one of their creations,

22:12

reindeer... and a photo

22:14

of Rita with her

22:16

granddaughters, go to the

22:18

moth.org. When we come

22:20

back, we try to

22:22

escape the holidays with

22:24

a trip to Puerto

22:26

Vallarta. Stay tuned. The

22:31

Malth Radio Hour is produced

22:33

by Atlantic Public Media in

22:35

Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented

22:37

by the Public Radio Exchange,

22:39

prx.org. I love giving gifts.

22:41

There's nothing quite like seeing

22:43

someone's face light up as

22:45

they behold the absolutely perfect

22:47

present you've gotten them. And

22:50

because I'm me, I make

22:52

it into a silent competition.

22:54

Oh, Aunt Ethel got you

22:56

a planner and not the

22:58

world's softest and most flattering

23:00

sweater from Quinn's. Seems like

23:02

she's implying that you should

23:04

be doing work. All I

23:06

want is for you to

23:08

be wearing a cloud, like

23:10

you deserve. Sorry, Aunt Ethel.

23:12

I'm the clear winner here.

23:14

Better luck next year. To

23:16

assist in my entirely one-sided

23:18

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23:20

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23:24

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23:26

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23:33

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23:35

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23:37

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23:39

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23:41

it tipped me into favorite

23:43

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23:45

holiday season without the luxury

23:47

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23:49

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23:55

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and 365-day returns. quince.com/moth. O.M.G.com

23:59

is the binge watch for

24:01

more intimacy. It's a website

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sharing new findings from the

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24:14

When you see such open,

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24:26

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omgyes.com. This is the

24:55

moth radio hour. I'm Sarah

24:57

Austin Janice and I'm your

24:59

host. Welcome back to our

25:01

annual December holiday, anti-holiday episode.

25:04

I say anti-holiday because there

25:06

are lots of people listening

25:08

who don't celebrate the holidays

25:10

in December in the traditional

25:12

sense. They escape the typical

25:14

trappings of this month, maybe

25:16

in favor of rest and

25:18

rejuvenation in a far-off land.

25:20

Our next story is all

25:23

about that. Steve Glickman told

25:25

it at a moth story

25:27

slam in Chicago, where we

25:29

partner with public radio station

25:31

W-B-E-Z. The theme of the

25:33

night was refuge. Here's Steve,

25:35

live at the moth. It's

25:37

Christmas Eve in 2005, and

25:39

I am packed and ready

25:42

to go to Porta Vallarta.

25:44

My flight leaves in 12

25:46

hours, and I cannot wait

25:48

to get out of Chicago.

25:50

It's been an awful year.

25:52

I broke up with my

25:54

boyfriend of seven years and

25:56

I've been living in a

25:58

fog. Months of therapy, sleepless

26:01

nights, just the worst year

26:03

ever. But somehow I made

26:05

it to Christmas Eve and

26:07

I am ready to reboot

26:09

my life, starting now. I

26:11

cannot wait to get to

26:13

that beautiful beach in Puerta

26:15

and order a peanut colata,

26:17

served out of a coconut,

26:20

and kiss this awful year

26:22

goodbye. I'm packed and ready

26:24

to go. All I need

26:26

is my passport. I look

26:28

in my desk door, not

26:30

there. I look at my

26:32

file cabinet, not there. I

26:34

look in my bedroom closet,

26:36

my dresser, the kitchen cabinets,

26:39

not there. Where the fuck

26:41

is my passport? Then I

26:43

panic. I ransack my apartment,

26:45

going from room to room,

26:47

emptying every drawer, every closet,

26:49

every cabinet. And I throw

26:51

its contents on the floor

26:53

where I can see it

26:55

all clearly. I get down

26:58

on my hands and knees

27:00

and I'm sifting through the

27:02

piles of stuff like a

27:04

crazed burglar. And after I've

27:06

turned my apartment upside down

27:08

for hours, nothing. Where the

27:10

fuck is my passport? It's

27:12

after midnight and I'm exhausted.

27:14

Sitting on my bedroom floor,

27:17

staring at all the piles

27:19

of junk, I say to

27:21

myself out loud as calmly

27:23

as possible. I've

27:26

lost my passport. I've

27:28

looked everywhere I know

27:30

of, but it's gone.

27:32

I am not going

27:34

to Puerto Vallarta for

27:36

Christmas. And then I

27:38

cry. The next morning,

27:40

I make a pot

27:42

of coffee and I

27:44

contemplate how I might

27:46

spend Christmas week in

27:48

Chicago. I can't visit

27:50

my family. They're not

27:52

in town. I can't

27:54

visit my friends because

27:56

they all think I'm

27:58

in Puerto Vallarta. And

28:01

that's what I want them to

28:03

think. I boasted to everyone that

28:05

I was going to spend Christmas

28:08

week on the beach in Mexico,

28:10

and they could all have their

28:13

white Christmas in Chicago. I told

28:15

my coworkers. I told my volleyball

28:17

team. I told George, the star

28:20

hitter on my volleyball team, who

28:22

is a dreamboat and who I

28:24

have a crush on. I can't

28:27

fathom telling them I lost my

28:29

passport. I will never hear the

28:32

end of it. I feel like

28:34

the biggest loser ever. I just

28:36

can't catch a break. And then

28:39

I get an idea. I hide

28:41

out in my apartment all week

28:43

long. I spend my time watching

28:46

movies and reading Mexico travel blogs.

28:48

When I leave the apartment, I

28:51

wear sunglasses in a hoodie because

28:53

I'm incognito. And I leave for

28:55

only two reasons. to go to

28:58

the grocery store or to the

29:00

tanning salon. I love the tanning

29:02

salon. I love lying on the

29:05

tanning bed in my speedo, groove

29:07

into my playlist, surrounded by the

29:10

gentle warmth and humming of the

29:12

UV lights as they slowly cook

29:14

my skin to a deep golden

29:17

brown. And when I close my

29:19

eyes, it feels just like I'm

29:21

lying on that beautiful beach in

29:24

Puerto Vallarta. The first

29:26

week in January we have

29:28

volleyball practice and I show

29:30

up at the gym armed

29:32

with a deep tan and

29:35

stories from the Mexico travel

29:37

blocks. I scan the gym

29:39

from my team and then

29:41

I spot Dreamboat George. I'm

29:43

nervous and part of me

29:45

wants to walk out of

29:47

that gym and go back

29:49

into hiding for the rest

29:51

of winter. But I know

29:54

that won't solve anything. I

29:56

know I have to get

29:58

out there and live in

30:00

the world, meet people and

30:02

take risks. even if I

30:04

don't feel like it. That's

30:06

what all the self-help books

30:08

say. And ... I walk

30:10

up to Dreamboat George with

30:12

a smile on my face,

30:15

and he smiles right back,

30:17

and he says, so, how

30:19

was Porta Viarta? I say,

30:21

mui, bueno! The weather was

30:23

perfect, the beaches were fantastic,

30:25

and, oh, the food. So,

30:27

Mucho delicioso. And as I'm

30:29

talking, I'm thinking, is he

30:31

buying this bullshit? I study

30:33

his face for signs of

30:36

doubt, and I can't really

30:38

be sure, but I think

30:40

he might be. My other

30:42

teammates gather around, I tell

30:44

them the more, the same

30:46

story, and every time I

30:48

tell it, I get more

30:50

confident, and I add more

30:52

details, like a snorkeling trip

30:55

and a sunset cruise. Suddenly

30:57

I realize, I'm actually pretty

30:59

good at this. Dreamboard George

31:01

says, I'm so jealous, which

31:03

are the words I long

31:05

to hear. I simply smile

31:07

and nod. I sat on

31:09

this secret for 11 years.

31:11

Over time, I got my

31:13

confidence back, I got a

31:16

new boyfriend, and we've traveled

31:18

a bit, but never to

31:20

put a viartre, because I

31:22

don't like to repeat. So

31:28

last December I was cleaning out my

31:31

bedroom closet and I reach in and

31:33

I pull out a radial jacket and

31:35

Just as I'm throwing it in the

31:38

trash. I feel something hard in the

31:40

breast pocket So I reach in and

31:42

I pull out my fucking passport Steve

31:44

has no pictures from his failed vacation

31:47

of course. But in the spirit of

31:49

Second Chances, you can visit our website,

31:51

the moth.org, to see a picture of

31:53

him on a successful vacation with his

31:56

boyfriend. He's never misplaced his passport again.

31:58

Our next storyteller is Don Frazier. Don

32:00

is one of the instructors in our

32:02

community program. She travels around the world

32:05

with the moth, workshoping personal stories with

32:07

all sorts of community groups. This story

32:09

was recorded in Kampala, Uganda, in an

32:12

intimate setting where women shared stories for

32:14

the first time. There were only about

32:16

20 people in the room. Here's Don

32:18

Frazier at the moth in Uganda. Okay,

32:21

so many of you know that my

32:23

family comes from Trinidad and Tobago, and

32:25

my family came through New York and

32:27

then moved to California and the United

32:30

States. And so when I moved to

32:32

New York, I totally expected that I

32:34

would be able to be free to

32:36

meet other first generation Trinidadians and just

32:39

have a good time. But my first

32:41

year in New York, my mom calls

32:43

me up and she's like, Donnie, you're

32:46

coming home for Christmas? And I was

32:48

like, yeah, I'm coming home for Christmas.

32:50

What's up? She's like, well, I need

32:52

you to do my favor. And I

32:55

was like, okay, well, what do you

32:57

do my favor? And I was like,

32:59

okay, well, what do you want me

33:01

to do? So she's like, first, you're

33:04

gonna go pick up. 12 roti, 12

33:06

roti skin, okay? Bring these 12 roti

33:08

skin, bring these 12 Jamaican patties, and

33:10

bring some saltfish back with you from

33:13

New York to California. And I was

33:15

like, wait, what? Like, why would I

33:17

do that? Why, why would I do

33:19

that? Well, that makes no sense. And

33:22

she said, well, don't you want a

33:24

Caribbean Christmas in California? She said, well,

33:26

then bring the food naman. I was

33:29

like, I was like, okay, but I

33:31

was mad because I had this. in

33:33

my suitcase, you know, I'm going from

33:35

New York to California, so it's going

33:38

to be warm. I just have my

33:40

flip flaps, my tank tops, but now

33:42

I have to take all this stuff

33:44

out of my bag to pack all

33:47

this other stuff for my mom. So

33:49

I'm just aggravated. So I pack all

33:51

the food, the saltfish, the roti, all

33:53

the kind of stuff, and I bring

33:56

the stuff to California so we could

33:58

have a Caribbean Christmas. And I get

34:00

there, and I was like, Mom, you

34:03

know, There are black people in California,

34:05

right? You know, I can go to

34:07

Oakland and go get some selfish and

34:09

some roti. She's like, no, no, but

34:12

it's not the same. We want the

34:14

good authentic stuff from New York. And

34:16

I was like, really? OK, whatever. Whatever.

34:18

And then, you know, we have a

34:21

good feast and we live it up.

34:23

The next year, my mom calls me

34:25

up again. And she's like, Dawn, they're

34:27

coming home for Christmas. And I was

34:30

like, yeah, I'm coming home for Christmas.

34:32

Why? What's up? She's like, well, I

34:34

needed to do me a favor. I'm

34:37

like, OK, what do you need me

34:39

to do this time? She's like, well,

34:41

this year we're going to go to

34:43

Trinidad for Christmas, OK? And I was

34:46

like, oh, sweet. So I'm thinking to

34:48

myself, this is awesome. I don't need

34:50

to bring any type of roti, I

34:52

don't need to bring any saltfish, I

34:55

don't need any Jamaican patties. I was

34:57

like, okay, cool, cool, what do you

34:59

need me to do? She says, go

35:01

run down to the path mark, okay,

35:04

the supermarket. You're gonna go pick up

35:06

a 30 pound turkey, okay? You're gonna

35:08

go pick up a 30 pound turkey,

35:10

all right? You're gonna bring this turkey

35:13

with you, from New York, to Trinidad.

35:15

And I was like, wait, what? There's

35:17

no turkeys in Trinidad? She's like, you

35:20

don't want a good, big Caribbean, Trinidad,

35:22

and Turkey for Christmas? And I was

35:24

like, well, yeah, I want a big

35:26

Trinidadian, I guess, well, whatever. She's like,

35:29

then bring the turkey. And I was

35:31

like, mom. Seriously, this this

35:33

like foul play, play,

35:35

okay? Like, this is is literally

35:38

like crossing the line. the

35:40

line. legal? this she's like, just

35:42

You know, she's

35:44

like, just bring it,

35:47

just bring it. take

35:49

take this turkey and

35:51

I put I put

35:54

it in my freezer

35:56

I deep freeze it for about

35:58

deep freeze it for

36:00

about two weeks. day

36:03

comes where then off day

36:05

comes where I'm

36:07

flying off to Trinidad

36:09

for it's wrapped up it's

36:12

wrapped up in

36:14

all this foil, all

36:16

this aluminum, all

36:18

this type of stuff.

36:21

I And I throw

36:23

it on my

36:25

backpack. And my mom lives in

36:28

this little, little little,

36:30

way in the corner of Tobago.

36:32

of And so in order to

36:34

get there, I first have

36:36

to fly from JFK to Miami

36:38

airport, from Miami to Miami Airport, to

36:40

Trinidad's airport, a little two to

36:42

jet into airport, a little I'm going

36:44

through this process into I

36:46

still got this through this -pound turkey

36:49

on my bag this 30-pound as

36:51

I get to But as I get

36:53

to I'm starting to

36:55

drip I'm starting I don't know

36:57

if this is going to

36:59

work work. So I am looking at looking

37:01

at the immigration official and

37:04

he says to me to

37:06

me, Mom, you you have anything to declare? to

37:09

And I'm thinking, And I don't know if

37:11

I need to declare a don't know if I

37:14

say, declare a turkey.

37:16

So I say, no. He's like, OK.

37:18

I got on the other little

37:21

two I got on the other

37:23

little jet. I get I to Tobago. Turkey's

37:25

dripping, dripping, dripping, dripping,

37:27

is just gonna be a wreck. is just hours

37:29

to get to my mom's little village

37:31

in hours to get I'm there, I'm happy. village I

37:33

there, in this long extensive trip to bring

37:35

this I was I get there, I this was turkey.

37:38

like, this long here it is. to Your turkey

37:40

has arrived, there, I it's here, like, it's here.

37:42

here She's like, Your turkey go put it in

37:44

the it's here. quick, because everybody's in the Your

37:46

sister, she brought the ham. And

37:48

your cousin, he brought the the ham.

37:50

cake. the ham. I And I was like,

37:52

wait, the layer cake, cake where? She's like,

37:54

oh, he just brought it from Florida

37:56

and he put it up Florida, he put it

37:58

the, up in the, in the, in the... He put it up

38:00

in the He put it up in the the

38:03

you know, above in the was like, so I was

38:05

like, so a I brought a turkey. My

38:07

cousin brought this three layer cake.

38:09

My sister brought this ham. here I And

38:12

here I was thinking that I was

38:14

gonna be saving the day with my

38:16

big the like, you know, turkey. big old turkey.

38:18

that's what it hit me it all these

38:20

years of of back and forth with

38:22

food. with food all this stuff wasn't

38:24

a pain. was just something that

38:26

I guess that our family did. did.

38:29

We just with food. food

38:31

That's what we do I guess as

38:33

a what we do, I

38:35

guess, is as a family.

38:37

As a So this is

38:39

what I'm expected to

38:41

do. to California for year, when

38:43

I was returning to and she's

38:46

like you're coming my mom called me

38:48

up and she's like, you're coming home for

38:50

Christmas? yeah, I'm I was like, yeah, I'm coming home

38:52

for Christmas. and I I looked down at my

38:54

suitcase. my It was It was empty

38:56

and ready to be filled with whatever

38:58

food she needed. she needed. Don Frazier

39:00

is an instructor in the

39:02

Moths community program. She's also in

39:04

the Moffs community program. the host also

39:06

a communications coach and the

39:08

host of the podcast I told Don that

39:11

this story was I told Dawn that

39:13

this story was included in

39:15

our she hour, she said the

39:17

timing couldn't be better. She had

39:19

just traveled to Florida with

39:21

her her wedding cake. cake. To see

39:23

photos of Dawn's family Christmas

39:25

in Trinidad and Tobago, including the

39:27

turkey she brought that year, that

39:29

year, plus the roti, pigs, feet, patties, and and

39:31

other Caribbean goodies she brought she brought

39:33

the next year, other stories from the

39:35

Moth from the moth go to the

39:38

program, go to the moth.org. After

39:43

our break, our last two

39:45

stories, Jewish tradition of asking for

39:47

what you want for what and the

39:50

sheer stress of planning your first

39:52

kiss on New Year's Eve, on

39:54

when the moth radio hour the moth

39:56

radio hour continues. The

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41:52

I'm Sarah Austin Janice and you're listening to

41:54

the to the moth radio hour PRX. up We're

41:56

up to our last two stories

41:58

as part of this December special. No

42:00

matter what our plans are in

42:02

the next few weeks, December can

42:04

remind us of family and friends

42:06

who have died. And that's bitter

42:08

sweet. Evan Lunt told this next

42:10

story at a moth slam in

42:12

Boston, where we partner with public

42:15

radio station W-U-R, and PRX, the

42:17

public radio exchange. The theme was

42:19

wonders. Here's Evan Lunt live at

42:21

the mall. religious at all. My

42:23

mother's Jewish, my father's a nice

42:25

little goyam. I was a nice

42:27

mix. They said, you can do

42:29

whatever you want. And I said,

42:31

great, I choose neither. I'm going

42:34

to choose the holidays that have

42:36

the best food. So Lent was

42:38

out the window. Yonkaport was out

42:40

the window. But my grandmother, on

42:42

the other hand, Elizabeth Topkis, she

42:44

was very religious. She was the

42:46

nice Jew that had the vodka

42:48

in her pocket when we went

42:50

through her clothes after she died

42:53

after she died. We were expecting

42:55

to find money, we were expecting

42:57

to find jewelry, but we found

42:59

an Alatka. And it was great,

43:01

you know, we would visit her

43:03

in the nursing home and she

43:05

would celebrate the holidays with us

43:07

and she would celebrate all of

43:09

the little, you know, we'd have

43:12

Hanukkah celebration with her, we'd have

43:14

a Passover Sadr with her. And

43:16

that continued, and I had her

43:18

Menora, and I said, Absolutely not.

43:20

This is in my family for

43:22

too long. You can't take it

43:24

with you. And I said, Mom,

43:26

can I, you know, it's tradition

43:28

in the Jewish faith in case

43:31

you're not familiar, you'd ask twice.

43:33

And I said, Mom, can I

43:35

please take this minority college with

43:37

me? And she said, fine. I'm

43:39

going to wrap it up all

43:41

nice. I'm going to put it

43:43

in a little box. And you're

43:45

not going to touch it until

43:47

Hanaka. And I said, OK, fine.

43:50

So Hanukkah comes around this is

43:52

now last year around Hanukkah was

43:54

late last year was around Christmas

43:56

time so my house that I

43:58

lived in with eight other people

44:00

was mostly Christians, so we had

44:02

a Christmas tree. And I said,

44:04

okay, I'm gonna, you know, joo

44:06

this up a little bit. I'm

44:08

gonna put the manora right next

44:11

to the Christmas tree, right in

44:13

the window on the second floor,

44:15

so everyone else on the street

44:17

can see it. And I said

44:19

my grandmother would love this. It's

44:21

her manora, she would love this.

44:23

And each night I would go

44:25

up and I would walk upstairs,

44:27

because I lived on the first

44:30

floor, and I liked the manora.

44:32

Second night I went by great

44:34

haven't burned anything down. This was

44:36

an old house Third night goes

44:38

by great fourth night comes and

44:40

I'm feeling a little down this

44:42

was Senior year of college was

44:44

a little rough for me As

44:46

I'm sure it's a little rough

44:49

for most people you know you're

44:51

writing thesis. You're dealing with relationships.

44:53

It's a time And I'm lighting

44:55

the manure and I say all

44:57

right you know what? Here's something

44:59

I haven't done in a long

45:01

time in fact my entire life.

45:03

I'm gonna pray And you know

45:05

I do my little I do

45:08

my little I sing the song

45:10

I'm to no one. There's no

45:12

one there everyone's doing their own

45:14

thing But I'm gonna sing it

45:16

to myself and then my grandmother

45:18

God bless And I get I'm

45:20

not on my knees because it's

45:22

a dirty floor But I'm going

45:24

to sit down to my chair

45:27

and I say, all right, how

45:29

do I start? Elizabeth, no, that's

45:31

too formal. Grandma, can you hear

45:33

me? And I say, I'm going

45:35

to light my candles for you

45:37

tonight. And I'm going through and

45:39

I'm lighting the candles and it's

45:41

the fourth night so you light

45:43

five candles. And I'm going through

45:46

the prayer and I say, grandma,

45:48

can you hear me? And I

45:50

look out and looking out the

45:52

window, nothing. It's cloudy. Looking out

45:54

the window, maybe I'll see something.

45:56

Is there a cat? No. She

45:58

liked cats. And... I'm

46:01

sitting there and I'm just looking

46:03

at the candles and they're flickering

46:05

and they're flickering and all of

46:08

a sudden they go out. I'm

46:10

like, that was weird. There's no

46:12

wind. I'm inside. There shouldn't be

46:15

a draft. I paid rent this

46:17

month. And I say grandma is

46:19

at you. And there's a knock

46:22

on the door. I'm like, that's

46:24

weird. Again, I paid rent this

46:26

month. There shouldn't be a knock

46:29

on the door. Shouldn't be anyone

46:31

coming for me, I promise. And

46:33

I go down and there's no

46:36

one there. And I come back

46:38

up and it turns out one

46:41

candle I'd stayed lit. And it's

46:43

the shawmess, which is the candle

46:45

that you light all the other

46:48

candles with. And that was the

46:50

night I realized my grandmother was

46:52

still with me. Thank you. Evan

46:55

is a chemistry student at the

46:57

University of Pennsylvania. Outside of the

46:59

lab, he likes playing cello, doing

47:02

crossword puzzles, and finding other people's

47:04

dogs to pet. He celebrates Hanaka

47:06

every year now, and he keeps

47:09

the tradition of putting his grandmother's

47:11

manure out. Our

47:20

final story starts in December, but

47:22

ends in January. Making New Year's

47:24

plans is a little stressful, and

47:26

if you add to that a budding

47:28

new relationship and plotting a first

47:30

kiss, yikes. Bernie Summers told this at

47:33

a romance-themed slam in Los Angeles,

47:35

where we've partnered with public radio station

47:37

KCRW. Here's Bernie, live at the

47:39

moth. So I met this girl, and

47:41

I really liked her. She was

47:43

kind of a nerd. But nice, like

47:46

a nice nerdy little girl. And

47:48

I started on the day, and our

47:50

first day we had a wonderful

47:52

time. But I didn't kiss her, I

47:54

didn't even try to kiss her, because

47:57

on the first day I just...

47:59

like to talk and listen and you

48:01

know get to know the person.

48:03

And then I asked her on the

48:05

second date. Now the second date

48:07

is when I usually you know going

48:10

for the kill and I will

48:12

attempt to kiss goodnight. But on our

48:14

second date I took her to

48:16

this Italian restaurant and whatever I had

48:18

had so much onion and garlic

48:20

in it that a tic-tac would have

48:23

just suffocated in my mouth. So I

48:25

didn't kiss her good night, I

48:27

just sort of hugged her a good

48:29

night. And then I asked her

48:31

on the third day, and I thought,

48:34

you know, I got to kiss

48:36

her tonight. I mean, if she doesn't,

48:38

if I don't kiss her tonight,

48:40

she doesn't think I'm the shy and

48:43

secure coward, which I am. But

48:45

I don't want her to know that.

48:47

So on her third day, I

48:49

took her to this jazz club. And

48:51

the Stas Club is like this dark

48:54

intimate club. And it was a

48:56

couple days after Christmas, all these pretty

48:58

Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling.

49:00

And her and I were sharing this

49:02

cozy booth. And it was just

49:04

a perfect moment to share our first

49:07

kiss. It was a perfect moment

49:09

to share our first kiss. It was

49:11

very romantic. In fact, the piano

49:13

player at the bar was singing, Isn't

49:15

it romantic? It's like a lover's

49:17

kiss. Sweet

49:22

symbols in the moonlight. Do you think

49:24

that I might fall in love for

49:26

chance? Isn't it romantic? So the moment

49:28

was screaming, kiss her. And then she

49:30

told me about this New Year's Eve

49:33

part she was going to and I

49:35

wanted to go with her. And I

49:37

said, yeah, sure. And then I thought,

49:39

you know. It'd be kind of cool

49:42

if our first kiss was our New

49:44

Year's Eve kiss. It'd be very symbolic,

49:46

beginning of a new year, beginning of

49:48

a new relationship. So at that moment,

49:51

in my mind, I decided that was

49:53

when I was going to kiss her.

49:55

the stroke in New Year's Eve, which

49:57

meant I couldn't kiss her tonight, because

50:00

if I kissed her tonight, then our

50:02

New Year's Eve kiss would be her

50:04

second kiss, and that's just lame. But

50:06

here's the thing. This nerd wanted me

50:09

to kiss her tonight. She had her

50:11

hand on my thigh. She's got her

50:13

face close to mine. She's looking into

50:15

my eyes. I mean, she's doing everything

50:18

but saying, kiss me stupid. But I

50:20

can't. You know, I'm saving myself for

50:22

New Year's. So

50:29

New Year's Eve comes, New Year's Eve day,

50:32

and I'm, you know, getting ready for the

50:34

party, I'm in the bathroom, really excited, and

50:36

I'm shaving and brushing and, you know, and

50:39

all day long that song is ringing through

50:41

my head. Isn't it romantic me to be

50:43

young at a night like this? And it's

50:45

like this song is telling my brain, don't

50:48

blow it Bernie, kiss her tonight! So we're

50:50

at the New Year's Eve party, and we're

50:52

in this loft, very crowded loft, and we're

50:54

sipping champagne, talking, and laughing, and I look

50:57

at my watch, like 10 minutes in midnight,

50:59

so I decided to go to the bathroom,

51:01

because I remember I saw a bottle of

51:03

mouthwash in there. So I thought you know,

51:06

I'll gargle, so when I thought you know,

51:08

I'll gargle, so when I kiss her out

51:10

in the midnight, I'll mouthwash in there. So

51:13

I thought you know, I'll have a bottle

51:15

of a bottle of a mouthwash, I'll, I'll,

51:17

I'll, I'll, and I'll, and I'll, and I'll,

51:19

and I'll, and I'll, and I'll, I'll, and

51:22

I'll, I'll, I'll, and I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll,

51:24

I'll cry, I'll cry, I'll, I'll cry, I'll

51:26

cry, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll cry, I'll And

51:28

I look at my watch and it's five

51:31

minutes to midnight. And I'm trying to get

51:33

to her, but I don't even see her.

51:35

And then before you know it, here, 10,

51:37

9, 8. And I'm like squeezing through the

51:40

party trying to find her. Seven, six, five.

51:42

And then I see her, she's in the

51:44

corner, but I can't reach her, you know,

51:46

because there's just too many people between us.

51:49

Three, two, one. Happy New Year! And everyone

51:51

is kissing someone, and I see her there

51:53

in the corner all alone, looking sad and

51:56

nerdy. And by the time I reach her,

51:58

it's like 20 minutes after midnight. And

52:01

before I could say anything, she says, Bernie, I'm

52:03

leaving. She grabbed her coat and she leaves the

52:05

party. And she's obviously very angry at me. I

52:07

don't blame her. You know, it's like our fourth

52:09

day to having kissed her. I leave her alone

52:11

in New Year's Eve. So I chase after her

52:13

and we go outside and I kind of grab

52:15

her by the arm and say, no, wait. She

52:18

said, no, Bernie, you know, I'm sensing you're not

52:20

all that in to me, so I'm just going

52:22

to go home. I'm leaving. I

52:25

didn't kiss you on the first day

52:27

because I just don't kiss on the

52:29

first day. I didn't kiss on the

52:31

second day because I had really been

52:33

on the garlic breath. I think it

52:36

was on the third day because I'd

52:38

be better because it was on the

52:40

fourth day and it was on the

52:42

other day. I couldn't reach it on

52:44

the other day. I couldn't reach it

52:46

on the other day. I couldn't reach

52:48

it on the other day. I couldn't

52:50

reach it on the part and I'm

52:52

really sorry. So New

52:55

Year's day came and I'm just feeling

52:57

very lonely depressed. It was a terrible

52:59

way to bring in the New Year.

53:01

Later than that I'm lying in bed

53:04

sleeping. And there's a snock at the

53:06

door. And I'm thinking, who's knocking on

53:08

my door in the middle of the

53:10

night? So I go and answer and

53:13

it's her. I say, what are you

53:15

doing here? She says, let me in.

53:17

I said, hurry up, let me in.

53:19

So she comes in. I said, what's

53:21

going on. It's past midnight. It's past

53:24

midnight. And she says, and she says,

53:26

it's past midnight. Because while I know

53:28

you want to kiss me on stroke

53:30

midnight in New Year's Eve, but you

53:33

know what, burning everybody kissing the stroke

53:35

of midnight in New Year's Eve. We're

53:37

going to be original. We're going to

53:39

kiss on the stroke of midnight on

53:41

New Year's Day. I said, OK. And

53:44

she said, do you have champagne? And

53:46

I said, I have champagne. And I'm

53:48

going to like this. And

53:51

she also lived in a living

53:53

room, do you have champagne glasses?

53:56

And I said, I have Batman

53:58

and Robin coffee moths. Get hurt,

54:00

you only have 40 seconds in

54:03

remanding of a nice lead lover's

54:05

kiss. And I run into the

54:07

living room with a coffee muggy,

54:10

sweet, some of the moonlight, do

54:12

you think, well, we fall in

54:14

love for chance? And we're sitting

54:17

on the couch together with a

54:19

botan baton around coughing, she's looking

54:22

out and watches doing the countdown,

54:24

three, two, one, and we lock

54:26

eyes, and I say to her,

54:29

you're the coolest girl I have

54:31

ever met in my entire life.

54:33

And she said, shut up and

54:36

kiss me. Isn't it romantic? That

54:38

was Bernie Summers. Bernie is a

54:40

New York writer who finds his

54:43

dysfunctional love life a great source

54:45

for comic material. He and his

54:47

New Year's date eventually ended up

54:50

parting ways, but he hopes to

54:52

have a date for Valentine's Day

54:55

on February 15th. That's it for

54:57

this episode of the moth radio

54:59

hour. We hope you'll join us

55:02

next time. Happy December. Your

55:14

hostly Sauer with Sarah Austin Janice, Catherine

55:16

Burns directed the stories in the show

55:18

along with Jennifer Hickson. The rest of

55:20

the most directorial staff includes Sarah Haberman

55:22

and Meg Bowles. Production support by Timothy

55:25

Lou Lee. Moth Stories are True is

55:27

remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our

55:29

theme music is by the Drift. Other

55:31

music in this hour from Melody Creators,

55:34

Modern Mandolin Quartet, C.S. Heath, Nigel Kennedy

55:36

and the Croke Band, Poirecto Solo, and

55:38

Ruby Braft, and George Barnes Quartet. The

55:40

Moth is produced for radio by me,

55:42

Jay Allison, with Vicky Merrick, at Atlantic

55:45

Public Media, in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This

55:47

hour was produced with funds from the

55:49

National Endowment for the National Endowment for

55:51

the Arts. North Radio hours present. by

55:53

PRX. For more For more

55:56

about our information on

55:58

pitching is your

56:00

own story and everything

56:02

else go to

56:04

our website to our .org

56:07

and have a great

56:09

holiday season. season.