0:00

All rise, because baby Kourt is back in

0:02

session. This

0:05

is season two. He's

0:08

a real case with real money on the

0:10

line. He can go to hell. Am I paying him nothing? She

0:14

butchered my dog, Tearcuff. In my defense.

0:16

Literally made this lady dog biracial. He

0:19

black in the face and white on

0:21

that. Your

0:24

job is to be funny, and my job is to

0:26

be funnier. Wait a minute. Can

0:28

you wear that back? That's your dang.

0:32

You and your mom look like Snoop Dogg at two different

0:34

ages. He a chef that

0:36

cook naked. Yes. Does he have to ask

0:38

people if they have nut allergies? What

0:43

type of drugs you on? We gonna find

0:45

out soon. Don't play with me. Play the

0:48

radio. I object. I object to

0:50

that caution tape outfit. Oh, shut

0:52

up, G-Man. I'm

0:55

getting my money back today. How you know my verdict?

0:59

I'm taking heat, mess around, we

1:02

win. Y'all gonna mess around and find out. For

1:04

real? Look, I tried. Y'all

1:06

mail started, but I'm gonna settle it.

1:08

Watch season two of Miss Pat Settles It starting

1:10

July 31st on Wednesday nights at

1:13

10 p.m. Eastern on BET. Hey,

1:15

it's white boy Chris. If Pat Downes ever

1:18

made you laugh, then join our Patreon and

1:20

support us. Get bonus content, a t-shirt, or

1:22

an autographed copy of Rabbit, Miss Pat's autobiography.

1:24

Visit misspatcomedy.com for the link to the Patreon.

1:27

And while you're there, join our Facebook group.

1:29

Welcome to another episode of the Pat

1:31

Downe. I'm here with my two favorite

1:33

people. We got white Dion and black

1:35

Chris. Howdy, y'all. Hi.

1:38

You supposed to say niggas. What? I

1:41

already tried that once. I'm not doing it

1:43

again. We gonna take a break before he get killed.

1:46

Y'all stay tuned after the music and see if Chris is

1:48

back with us. You better get up, get

1:50

out, and tune into this podcast. This

1:52

pat spit the truth, spitting the real

1:54

fact. Nothing but the other classy at

1:56

the same time. Pat got the flavor.

1:59

These are the because

8:00

of this show everybody

8:02

wanted a talking trans am I'm trying

8:05

to make it to

8:13

season three and I already got me what's the

8:15

trans am yes I don't know what

8:17

his car was what kind you want to take some

8:19

listener questions I was a firebird they

8:21

probably yeah Pontiac firebird that's what it was yeah I

8:23

think so why the fuck you let me call the

8:25

trans am because I just thought of it why

8:28

the fuck you say why do I gotta be responsible cuz

8:30

I look cars like there was a trans am to me

8:34

you saying all the trans looking like go to the

8:39

question you're moving on Kelly

8:42

asks would you rather have dick sized

8:44

nipples or a nipple sized dick huh

8:48

who's dick someone as someone

8:50

with both and

9:00

fuck you Kelly for setting me up for a

9:02

MacDuffin mane but I don't

9:04

know what

9:07

a dick side nipple is a nipple the

9:09

size of a remote control your

9:11

nipples are like they nipples seven inches

9:14

long or you got to have

9:16

it if is your dick I take your dick on a dick

9:18

like this I

9:21

take Chris dick on my nipples she

9:23

wants to be fuck healthy

9:25

six inches a

9:27

perfectly satisfying six inches not a healthy

9:30

you know I got a healthy four

9:32

inches over here for you okay

9:34

what do you think Danny writes

9:37

what do you think about Yolanda

9:39

Saldivar being released from prison next

9:41

year who is Yolanda

9:43

Salva she killed Selena haven't

9:47

she did 30 years and it's been 30 years

9:49

at this point yeah so

9:52

she gets out should she be

9:54

allowed out I mean she did her

9:56

time I I

9:59

really don't people

36:02

are tired of. He didn't pivot. No.

36:05

Trump. Even after being assassinated.

36:08

You know many people are saying

36:10

I've changed. Even Don Jr

36:13

said I changed and then they came out

36:15

and I kept doing the same exact fucking

36:17

thing I've always done. I mean he had

36:19

a chance to change. If he pivoted out

36:22

for that assassination to hope and positivity I

36:24

think he would have won in a landslide

36:26

but he didn't. He can't. He came out

36:28

still mean. You know what for you to

36:30

get trying to get somebody I've never seen

36:33

nobody and I've seen a lot of black

36:35

people get shot. Yeah. I've never seen nobody

36:37

jump up from a shooting. I've never

36:41

seen that. No stitches.

36:44

That's real weird isn't it? No

36:46

stitches and a bullet hit your ear.

36:48

Yeah and then also you saw the

36:50

nigga who was gonna eventually shoot this

36:53

motherfucker two hours before he did it

36:55

walking around. But my thing is well

36:57

you know you can be shot in

36:59

the ear if you got a boxer

37:01

ear. That ears are very tough. If

37:04

you shoot a boxer in the ear

37:06

that shit would explode. How about Iran

37:09

like hacking his campaign saying we're gonna

37:11

assassinate him sending assassins after him because

37:13

he killed Soleimani. So

37:15

he's he may kill Soleimani.

37:17

I thought they killed him. Saudi Arabia. No

37:19

America killed him. Trump ordered it.

37:21

That's why they're trying to assassinate him. Wow.

37:23

And he tried to assassinate him with an

37:25

autism kid. Wait wait wait

37:27

wait Soleimani who is that? He was like

37:30

their Joint Chiefs of Staff in Iran. He

37:32

was their military leader. I'm thinking of the

37:34

journalists they chopped up. Okay yeah. That was

37:36

American journalists wasn't it? That was Saudi Arabia.

37:39

That's why he sent him after him because

37:41

he killed that American journalist. Yes. Okay. Yeah

37:44

so no I agree with you. I think Trump

37:47

had it sewn up and then he just

37:49

like in August he's doing one campaign event

37:51

in Montana. I think he's he's

37:53

finally gonna do one in North Carolina. Like

37:55

he's he and I gave up. He's he's

37:58

every crowd's a very thin too. He

38:00

is. He hasn't changed. He hasn't

38:02

changed. He always is trying to

38:04

lose. He usually loses. The

38:07

same playbook that he always plays lost

38:10

the Georgia Senate seats, it lost 2020. He

38:13

won in 2016 in a fluke. And

38:15

I think listeners need to remember this

38:17

moment in August where we're all like,

38:20

Vivek Ramaswamy and everybody saying, yeah, I don't know

38:22

what he's doing. He's not really doing the right thing.

38:24

He's probably gonna lose. Because those are the very same

38:26

people that when he does lose, he'll be like, it

38:29

was stolen from him. It

38:31

wasn't. It's that he sucks. He's incompetent and

38:33

he's trying to lose. And you know,

38:35

I really wanna see the, I really, that's the

38:37

highest office in America. And

38:39

I would like to see the way he

38:42

changed over and like he wasn't, he

38:44

was not nice to Obama. No grace

38:46

or compassion. No grace, I mean, no

38:48

gifts. I mean, no matter, one thing

38:50

I can say about George Bush, and

38:53

I like George Bush, the

38:55

sons. I like George Bush.

38:58

Who beat him, Obama? I mean, after he left

39:00

office, Obama, right? Obama came in, yeah. Yeah, and

39:02

then the way they switched over power, it

39:04

was just beautiful. It's like, okay, we both

39:06

on two different ends, but this

39:09

is our country and we respect each other.

39:11

Post. He walked up there like, fuck

39:13

you, nigga. Get the fuck out the White House. I'm

39:15

throwing everything out. And it was just. He had

39:17

to do that for his base, though. Post-pandemic, people

39:19

are ready to be normal again. And

39:21

that includes politics. And I think Trump

39:24

had his moment in 2016 and

39:26

people are ready for, even if they

39:29

know they're not really sure about Kamala,

39:31

they don't really know a Democrat, Republican,

39:34

whatever. It's just like, at least she's

39:36

going to be like normality

39:38

again. She'll be presidential. Right.

39:41

That's how we want presidential. There'll be some decorum in the office. I

39:44

think that's what most Americans want out of the politics. It's gonna

39:46

be more fans. If you're, cause she going through hot

39:48

flashes. Mm-hmm. You

39:50

think she's perium and a puzzle? Fuck yeah, she's

39:52

60. I

39:54

don't know, she might still be laying it down. She

39:56

might be fucking, but she ain't believing. Dropping those eggs?

39:59

Yeah. That does first time I ever said that about

40:01

a president How much how pissed

40:04

do you think Hillary is if she wins?

40:06

I think would you let me say this to

40:08

you very very no No, no Hillary will pave

40:10

the way Because Hillary took

40:13

that slap in the face the biggest

40:15

rejection where they never wanted a woman that

40:17

they hated her She took all of

40:19

that. Hey, can you imagine? Kamala

40:22

taking all that could be Obama's the

40:24

first black president. He was

40:26

not the first one to rain So is always

40:28

somebody before you to take the

40:30

butt of the bullshit well, she's only

40:32

getting the momentum because she's the only

40:34

choice if Biden

40:37

was finishing out this term and

40:40

Possibly running again I don't think he

40:42

would win But Kamala is only in

40:44

this position because she's the vice president

40:46

if she had to run against other

40:48

candidates She wouldn't it didn't she wouldn't

40:50

be the Tulsi Gabbard took her out

40:52

with one debate performance she wouldn't be

40:55

the nominee if if There

40:57

were other people opposing that's why by the

40:59

time this airs I wonder if like she

41:02

hasn't she's not doing interviews. She hasn't done

41:04

any interviews yet. She just finally unveiled some

41:06

policy Like if I wouldn't

41:08

do any by the time this airs did she

41:10

hold up because she didn't hold up the first

41:13

time she ran She didn't hold up when she

41:15

was vice president initially Like it's

41:17

kind of hold up when you already know who

41:19

they gonna give it to everybody knew Joe Biden

41:21

was gonna get it There was no need to

41:23

beat the baby Joe Biden was going that wasn't

41:25

the case at that point because Biden hadn't Won

41:27

South Carolina yet like she didn't even make it

41:30

into the first primaries. I don't think

41:32

again I think I think it

41:35

was She's

41:38

a woman and she's a black woman and

41:40

they gave the white woman who

41:42

was quite A you know, we had

41:44

more way more experience in Kamala did

41:47

They gave her hell. Mm-hmm. So I think I

41:50

do think Hillary

41:52

took some of the but and it made

41:54

you say after after Donald Trump He's like,

41:56

okay, we let a fucking idiot do it.

41:59

Why can't a