0:00

Hey, it's White Boy Chris. If the

0:02

Patdown's ever made you laugh, then join

0:04

our Patreon and support us. Get bonus

0:06

content, a t-shirt, or an autograph copy

0:08

of Rabbit, Miss Pat's Autobiography. Visit Miss

0:10

Pat comedy.com for the link to the

0:12

Patreon, and while you're there, join our

0:14

Facebook group. Welcome to another episode of the

0:16

Pat now. I'm here with my friend, De

0:18

Anchor and Chris Pagala. Hey y'all. Another

0:21

wonderful episode of the pat down and

0:23

I probably have a producing this shit

0:25

by be working right and we gonna

0:28

be all right. I know y'all are

0:30

getting ready for the Amagadi, you know,

0:32

make sure you get your water, make

0:35

sure you get your food, make sure

0:37

you get your firearms, make sure

0:39

you get your gas mask. Your

0:41

whole cow lives. I got a home.

0:43

We're gonna hear about it in this

0:45

episode. Get Amagat ready. I'm telling you,

0:48

get red. Make sure all your paps

0:50

is smeared in the proper places. Yeah.

0:52

This is a crazy episode. When this

0:54

shit go down, I want y'all to

0:57

be ready. Okay? Okay? So don't say

0:59

I didn't say it. Get your water.

1:01

Make sure you get your water. Get

1:04

the tissue because you're gonna have this

1:06

shit and piss in your house for

1:08

a while. So get some

1:10

deodorant, because we don't want

1:13

to stain. So make sure

1:15

you get everything. I just

1:17

bought. Three cases are ass

1:19

wipes. If I'm getting hit,

1:21

you're right. You got ass

1:23

wipes at up a day.

1:25

Yeah. So I want y'all

1:27

to be ready. And if

1:30

you think this crazy

1:32

what I'm talking about

1:34

up at the top,

1:36

wait till you hear this

1:39

damn episode. Stay

1:41

tuned after the

1:43

music. Real

1:46

fat, nothing but the other classy at

1:48

the same time. Jack got the flavor,

1:50

these are not the same lines. That's

1:52

the politics, she been on the real

1:54

brine. It could be pretty, but ugly

1:56

at the same time. Just so on

1:58

end, put your lock. Hey

2:14

y'all.

2:28

It's late and y'all can see

2:30

my eyes are fucked up because

2:32

I'm dealing with the allergies.

2:34

I'm back on set of the season

2:37

five of the Miss Pat show

2:39

and it's it's um it's um

2:41

Raven Simone is the director

2:44

really yes you know she's so

2:46

damn good and you know who's

2:48

on there this year I'm only

2:50

gonna tell who on this episode

2:53

we got a lot of this

2:55

year. TI daughter Harris Oh, T-I's

2:57

daughter. I thought, you said Ciara's

2:59

daughter. No, T, I'm sorry. You

3:01

got too much tree nut in

3:03

your nose. Tree nut. Oh, no.

3:05

You got all that tree come

3:07

in your face. I know it's

3:09

a lot of dust on step,

3:11

but, uh, T-I-daughter is on there.

3:14

And she's this little girl at

3:16

the yard sale. And when I

3:18

tell you, she's so fucking good.

3:20

She's so fucking good. How old is

3:22

she? He's eight, but she wham my

3:24

ass out. And she was so happy

3:26

to get this role because she

3:29

wanted to curse. Yeah. And why

3:31

you want to go to work

3:33

today? So I can say motherfucker.

3:35

And there's nothing I can say

3:37

to scare her. Nothing. I mean,

3:39

you know how we talk on

3:41

this bad show. I mean, she's

3:44

just taking it like a champ.

3:46

Whoop. Nothing new to me? My daddy

3:48

wrap. My daddy wrap. Yeah, I bet.

3:50

I bet. So is she she wants

3:52

to be an actor or is

3:55

is this just because she is

3:57

an actress? That's very fucking talented.

3:59

Wow. I didn't even know how

4:01

audition was coming through. I'm just

4:03

looking through audition. I was like, this

4:05

little girl looked familiar. And it was

4:07

her. She got that audition. I mean, she

4:09

got this job straight off audition. She's

4:12

so fucking good. So good. I can't

4:14

imagine doing that at eight years old,

4:16

like being that talented and that together.

4:18

I was shitting my pants in second

4:20

grade at eight years old. I was

4:22

gonna say you was never talented. But,

4:24

you know, we loved. How dare you.

4:27

Yeah, you're telling you. You did have

4:29

a talent. It's a little white boy

4:31

shooting his pants in the eighth grade.

4:33

I mean, second grade. Eighth grade, too.

4:35

Don't get picky. I can see you

4:38

shouldn't know yourself for a while, Chris.

4:40

I really could. I was. I was

4:42

a smell. You shit on yourself in

4:44

eighth grade? Oh, you crap on yourself

4:47

in the second grade? Who can?

4:49

I would hold it. I would hold it,

4:51

I would hold it, because I was

4:53

having too much fun, so I'd like hold

4:55

it. You one of them you

4:57

hold it to you and shit

4:59

on yourself. Yeah, and then I'd

5:01

go too far I'd hold it

5:03

couldn't hold it back because I was

5:06

too strong a sphincter Dion It's

5:08

like people, you know, you did and

5:10

you got food in your stomach

5:12

and your body just pushes it

5:14

out. Yeah, exactly. So it's

5:17

like that in first grade

5:19

Kim Chenowith my absolute diehard

5:22

crush She said you like

5:24

a dead body You were

5:26

just like, yeah. I mean,

5:29

if the description fits. But

5:31

first grade, I'm sitting next,

5:34

I finally got a seat

5:36

next to my crush, Kim

5:38

Chenowith. Chenoweth.

5:41

Chenoweth. Yeah, and

5:43

she's like, what

5:45

smells like poop? I'm

5:47

like, I don't know.

5:49

Not me. Must be

5:51

Bennett. Say I see

5:53

your crush while you

5:55

had shit, yeah. You'd

5:57

fade away. I'm sorry.

5:59

Hey, what are you going

6:01

to do? I was six. I

6:04

had a... My first crush was

6:06

a guy named Julius Simmons. I

6:08

think I told you. And you

6:11

have seen him recently, haven't you?

6:13

No, he hit me. I hit

6:15

him up. We contacted each other

6:18

on Facebook because I talked

6:20

about him somewhere. That's

6:22

right. He just said, hey. I didn't

6:24

know you had a crush on them

6:26

like you damn lying niggles. That

6:28

was the only time I took

6:31

a bath and I'm frassing around outside

6:33

in the outfit my book store like

6:35

the Goodwill and I remember he said

6:37

oh you look cute today so you

6:40

know when somebody say today all the

6:42

other time you look like shit. They

6:44

live like an apartment complex right

6:46

next to a house that we

6:49

was rent but they never really

6:51

came outside other than to walk

6:53

to the store. That was it. That

6:55

is funny. Well, he was so cute

6:57

to me. I think I found him

6:59

on Facebook. Well, my first

7:01

girlfriend was his girl named

7:04

Diamond. She was my girlfriend

7:06

because I had starburrs. The next day

7:08

she got with my best friend because

7:10

that nigger brought skills. Oh, four. She

7:13

was like, he said he did it

7:15

right in front of my face too.

7:17

He's like, I bet you I can

7:20

make her my girlfriend today. I said,

7:22

no, you can't. You was like, watch

7:24

me. He pulled out the skittles. He

7:27

was like, when you people, my girlfriend,

7:29

she said, yep. Damn. She said, no

7:31

food at the house. Can you hear

7:33

me? She was beautiful. Yeah. She

7:36

was a beautiful little black

7:38

Asian girl. Oh, I remember the first

7:40

time me and my sister went off

7:42

with this boy named Malcolm Waters

7:45

and, um, I think it was

7:47

Alice section and we went out

7:49

somewhere at this house and we

7:51

went off to hunch. Oh no,

7:53

and kids, I think we

7:56

kids for seven hours.

7:58

Oh my God. What

8:00

was this, second, third grade?

8:02

No, we probably was in, we

8:04

was in elementary, but when I

8:07

tell you, I thought my tongue

8:09

was gonna crack. Come on. You

8:11

was tongue? You in elementary school?

8:14

Come on, man. Because they

8:16

used the word, oh, that's French

8:18

kissing. So you know, I thought

8:20

if you French kiss, you can

8:23

speak French. I wish that's how

8:25

it worked. I, I, damn there.

8:27

My tongue was dragging aground.

8:29

I was so sick and kissing

8:31

that mother fuck. Plus, you didn't,

8:34

like, French kiss and immediately start,

8:36

oh, party vou far saué. You

8:38

didn't, what the fuck? I may

8:41

say they er, er, am gay.

8:43

I thought I was gonna do

8:45

that, but I have to mean. I,

8:47

see, gee, call her element

8:49

of pay. They were under

8:51

twice capital C, C, C,

8:54

C, C, C, C, C,

8:56

C, C, C, C, C, C,

8:58

C, C, C, C, C, C,

9:00

C, C, C, C, C, C,

9:02

C, C, C, C, C, C,

9:04

C, C, C, C, C, C,

9:07

C, C, C, C, C, C,

9:09

C, W, D, C, C,

9:11

C, C, C, C, W,

9:13

C, C, C, C, C,

9:16

C, C, C, C, C, All

9:18

day, say they're around jail, okay, got

9:20

that. I was telling the jazz, I

9:22

was like, when we went to church,

9:24

it was back in a day, you grew

9:26

up in a church, so they would have like

9:28

a shed. And boy, I remember going

9:31

to go into a shedding, you grew up

9:33

in a church, so they would have like

9:35

a shed. And boy, I remember going

9:37

to a sheddy, you could eat candy

9:39

all night. So I said, I'm gonna

9:41

go up here and see what church

9:44

is about, so we go to this

9:46

shedding. All we did was hunch

9:48

and fingering. That's all we

9:50

did too. And the preacher

9:52

knew we were back that

9:55

digging in each other. He

9:57

just up there preaching and

9:59

the law. He was like, shut

10:01

the fuck up. We tried to get

10:03

these fingers out on our ass. All

10:05

we did the whole in the church.

10:08

He was like, y'all better

10:10

stop touching each other back now.

10:12

And the scripture says. That's all

10:14

he did to stop y'all. He

10:16

was really old. And boom, he

10:18

fell asleep. Oh my God. Oh

10:20

my God. Well, he's so asleep.

10:23

You know how you. How many

10:25

people were there? You're

10:27

probably like 25

10:29

kids. I like

10:31

I wasn't that fast

10:33

girl, but my sister

10:36

was getting it in

10:38

because you know I

10:40

was on my way

10:43

to learn how to

10:45

speak French so I

10:48

was French kids anybody

10:50

Anybody? Which is fucking

10:53

gross That really

10:55

is yeah Well, you know,

10:57

there's somebody pulling your tongue

10:59

to them canine teeth or

11:01

cut your fucking side of

11:03

your tongue. Yeah. So, you're aggressive

11:06

or y'all kissing, motherfuck. Well,

11:08

when you're, when you're eight,

11:10

I mean, you gotta kiss

11:13

aggressively, right? Because that's what

11:15

you see. Oh, wow, wow.

11:17

And you know, and kissing

11:19

is way before you start

11:22

suck and dig and other

11:24

things, so you don't have

11:27

any control in your mouth.

11:29

And at that age, all

11:32

you have to reference is

11:34

movies, and they're so over

11:37

the top and stupid

11:39

about everything in the

11:41

movies. I like how you came

11:43

in right out of that suck

11:46

and dig. You can't

11:48

control your mouth. And yeah,

11:50

because you know, you was looking

11:52

at TV. I meant kissing. Yeah,

11:54

but the audience, thank you so

11:57

big, Chris. I don't, though. I

11:59

don't. Yeah, I honestly. Look

12:01

at the way he hold

12:04

that mic. He don't do

12:06

a good job if he

12:09

do. I bought a

12:11

mic where you're talking

12:13

to the side, not

12:15

the top. Is there a

12:18

way to tell a woman

12:20

that, is there a bad

12:22

blow job? Hell yeah, oh

12:25

God, yeah. Oh God, yeah.

12:27

Teeth if you don't

12:29

like teeth lazy Yeah, like

12:31

I yeah, you're not into

12:34

it It's it's

12:36

probably the just the

12:38

same is a guy going

12:40

down on a woman like

12:43

he doesn't want to

12:45

be there. He's not

12:47

doing you know Yeah, there's

12:49

too much changing

12:52

of pace What you mean

12:54

changing of pace? You

12:57

want to be considered good? You

12:59

got to have a rhythm to

13:01

it. I mean, I know the president

13:03

used to be a job that

13:06

used to these have qualifications, but

13:08

now anybody can do it. So.

13:10

I hope blow jobs don't turn

13:13

out to be like the presidency.

13:15

Wait a minute. I just want

13:17

to know what's a bad one. Because

13:20

I mean, how do you go, is

13:22

there a test you can take to

13:24

say you A plus or you B,

13:26

you fell it? I think the older you

13:28

get, the women who don't like it,

13:30

just go, I'm not going to do

13:32

that. But when you're in high school,

13:34

everybody experiments with everything, and that's when

13:36

the real bad ones take place. You

13:38

know you good when somebody you've never

13:40

met tells you I heard about you.

13:42

Yes. That's how you know you good.

13:44

I was at, I was an event

13:47

this weekend and I saw somebody that

13:49

I know I didn't, I never, I've

13:51

never met them, but I knew she

13:53

was an A plus. You never been

13:55

at a Taco Bell, you seen two

13:57

dudes like there should go right

13:59

there. You were good ones. Why

14:01

they talk about me? Because

14:04

they heard about you. Oh

14:06

wow. I think the older

14:08

you get too, Dion, you

14:10

can like just, you can

14:13

spot him. What the fuck

14:15

is that mean? It's the

14:17

eyes, the energy. The eyes,

14:19

the energy. Yeah. Well, yeah.

14:21

At 40, no girls going

14:23

down on me if she

14:25

don't, that's not her thing.

14:28

Right. So. At 40? Yeah. But like

14:30

at a church lock-in when you're...

14:32

Like at 40? Like at 40?

14:34

I'm not trying to convince no

14:36

girl to suck my dick at

14:38

this day. Like if you, if you

14:41

not interested in it, I'm

14:43

not, I'm not even... That's a

14:45

lady. That's not a girl.

14:47

Well I'm just saying in general.

14:50

Well, I'm glad you take

14:52

into consideration of age like

14:54

40 because at that age we

14:56

have a lot of lock next and...

14:58

I think you're misunderstanding what I'm

15:01

saying. I'm saying I'm for you.

15:03

I don't care how, as long

15:05

as she's of age and she

15:07

wants to do it, it's fine

15:10

with me. Oh, that's what I

15:12

was saying. Oh, I'm not saying

15:14

if she's 40. Oh, she got

15:17

a second if she won't. I

15:19

was going to. We also suffer

15:21

from hearing, sometime our ears

15:23

just we're like, and I'm like,

15:26

who at the dose? And it's

15:28

like. Ain't nobody had to do

15:30

it. So my ears like a fucking,

15:32

a ring camera, it just, it

15:34

just goes off. You keep thinking

15:36

you're getting packages? You know what

15:39

I- I can't, I don't use

15:41

my card again. That ringing is

15:43

alerts and niggles trying to steal

15:46

your money. I'm actually getting ready

15:48

to get the full body scan. It's

15:50

people like, you don't want to know

15:52

what's going on in the side of

15:54

you. I said, yes the fuck I

15:56

do. And it's not free. What the

15:59

fuck, they five? What are they

16:01

scanning? What are they checking?

16:03

Your whole body? Your whole

16:05

body. You know, Duane Way

16:07

just found it. He did it.

16:10

He found very early bladder

16:12

cancer. Oh, wow. Yeah, I

16:14

think it was a great idea.

16:16

You should do that. Why

16:18

wouldn't somebody do that?

16:20

I think it was

16:22

bladder cancer. They was

16:24

able to, $2,500. But

16:27

$2,500 to save your life, think how

16:29

much cancer money he saved. Yes. Yes.

16:31

Your insurance asks everybody to

16:33

do it once a year anyway.

16:35

Yeah. You think there'd be a blood

16:38

test that you can take to see

16:40

if you have cancer somewhere in your

16:42

body? Well, it is, but it

16:44

usually doesn't show up to the

16:46

counselor's on his feet running with

16:48

all his enemies behind him. Said

16:50

I got a job, n' got

16:53

to go to work. I got

16:55

time to be getting taken out

16:57

by these pills and

17:00

treatments. So I'm

17:02

praying. They don't find

17:04

shit going on with

17:06

me. And are y'all

17:09

getting Amagata,

17:11

what is it called?

17:13

Amagating? Yeah, are

17:15

y'all getting Amagata

17:17

ready? Say it

17:20

in French for me.

17:22

Which Amagadi? Amagadi, am I

17:24

ready? It's to me, amario.

17:26

Are y'all getting ready for

17:28

the attack? Which one? All

17:30

this shit we about to go through.

17:33

All of this shit, our lovely

17:35

president saying, all these

17:37

tariffs and no food. I

17:39

got about eight refrigerator. Well,

17:41

I shouldn't say that on

17:43

here. Somebody might come get

17:45

it. But I'm ready. Listen

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19:00

audio. a time to start

19:02

working all these planes

19:04

crashing. Once you know

19:06

you weren't telling us.

19:08

You know what? It

19:10

is so fucking scared

19:12

with them playing. I've

19:14

never ever knocked on a pilot

19:16

though to say thank you. I said,

19:18

thank you sir. I had turbulence the

19:21

other day and on Delta and again

19:23

I fly with no braw so here's

19:25

my titties all over the place and

19:27

I'm holding them finally me and this

19:29

white lady just started holding hands. I

19:31

don't know what her religion was but

19:34

we was we we was on the

19:36

same fucking tune and she said it's

19:38

gonna be alright and it feel like

19:40

the plane would not feel like the plane

19:42

be dropping. But the mother was bad and

19:44

they was trying to go around it and

19:46

I was going to Dallas. Okay. And

19:49

so it is really fucking scary

19:51

right now. United just

19:53

caught on fire. America

19:55

having problems. What? We don't

19:57

find anybody at the FAA. The

20:00

CIA, the CIA, the

20:02

Boeing's been fucking up

20:04

airplanes. They've been bandating

20:06

planes together for 20

20:08

years, it seems like.

20:10

And it's all DEI's

20:12

fault. I just make

20:14

sure y'all know. It's DEI

20:16

is fault. So insane. And

20:18

then now, Elon Moose have

20:21

all of all information. You

20:24

know what he gonna stop cutting?

20:26

He's been knowing I'm broke, so

20:28

he don't really care Yeah, Dion's

20:30

not in any of those. Information

20:32

he didn't give a fuck about

20:35

you. Most of y'all been broke.

20:37

Dion wasn't in the treasury pages.

20:39

I'd be like they don't even

20:42

be checking for me. My shit

20:44

be so low. They had to

20:46

go to like the last page

20:48

of poor hub to find my

20:51

information on the last page That

20:53

is funny. Well, I don't know

20:55

what's gonna happen, but

20:57

Elon Moose, but Elon Moose,

21:00

you keep talking like that,

21:02

he's gonna talk like that,

21:05

he's gonna start looking in

21:07

your bank account. I don't,

21:09

I shit, my money, my

21:12

pussy. My Pusset. Yeah, look

21:14

there too. Well, he taking

21:16

all your rights away, so

21:19

you gonna have to show.

21:21

Let me reiterate or reconsiderate

21:24

or whatever it is. That

21:26

was not my rights. I've

21:28

done my abortion before these

21:31

white people ever started to

21:33

act. My vagina don't work

21:35

for the way. My vagina is

21:38

strictly for pissing and penetration

21:40

every blue moon. So none

21:42

of this shit take you

21:45

ready to do any waste.

21:47

Only thing I want Elon Moose to do

21:49

is not get my pussy to Social Security.

21:51

You can call him, Eli Moose! I don't

21:53

know, let it go though, it's awesome. I

21:55

just want to make sure my vagina get

21:58

the Social Security check. that

22:00

it worked for all of these

22:02

years. Don't fuck with my vagina.

22:04

Social Security, Jettie, Lumos.

22:07

Did you hear about

22:09

that proprietary fund? They're

22:12

trying to get passed through?

22:14

Uh-uh. It's supposed to be

22:16

like this government fund we

22:18

all pay into that they invest

22:21

on our behalf. Did you hear

22:23

about that? Instead of Social

22:25

Security? Oh, that little white

22:27

boy and say, boom shit.

22:30

They're talking about it on Twitter

22:32

on Twitter. Well, I saw, what's the

22:34

man name who I told you I

22:36

don't like, New Gingrich, not New Gingrich,

22:38

the one who bought dead, who I

22:41

really think is dead, but they can't.

22:43

Mitt Romney. I saw him today

22:45

saying, you know that deal. Because

22:47

there's only about two dead motherfuckers,

22:49

she hate. There ain't a big

22:51

list of dead motherfuckers, like we

22:53

was playing guess who it'd be

22:55

the old niggas on the boy.

22:57

I don't know how you guessed

22:59

that that's so funny. I saw Mitt

23:01

Romney say today that it was

23:03

not cool that he started fighting

23:06

with his allies. And with Canada

23:08

put up everything that we need

23:10

that they give us that they give us.

23:12

We fucked. These motherbooks

23:15

and shit. I didn't even

23:18

know we get more rain.

23:20

Oh, I guess it's iron. I'm

23:22

saying, well, what do we

23:25

do with that shit? That's

23:27

how I was the only

23:29

thing I really recognize with

23:32

the vegetables. Give us a

23:34

lot of shit, lombas

23:37

and trees. I'm like,

23:39

really? Y'all, I'm

23:41

telling y'all if y'all

23:43

listen to this podcast

23:47

make sure y'all. What's

23:50

the name of

23:52

Amagami? Amaget? What

23:54

is it? Yeah, I'm a

23:56

get it ready. Yeah, I

23:58

know the fuck because they

24:00

I'm telling you get your food,

24:03

get your bullet, get your water,

24:05

get your deodorant because you don't

24:08

want everybody being in the house

24:10

funky. Can you imagine being in

24:12

Apocalypse and all y'all steak? You

24:15

know what I did? I bought

24:17

a whole cow. Where'd you find

24:20

a whole cow? Just one. You

24:22

know what? You don't think that

24:24

you're a redneck, but that's the

24:27

most redneck shit I've ever heard.

24:29

Every one of my redneck friends

24:32

in the country has like, yeah,

24:34

I buy a cow. You know,

24:36

your meat cuffs are like 1900

24:39

different cows if you get a

24:41

ground ground leaf. Excuse me. Bless

24:44

you. So I found a black

24:46

farmer here because we trying to

24:48

do black shit. I love everybody,

24:51

but right now I'm on a

24:53

cracker break. I can't. It's true.

24:56

I can tell him to verify

24:58

off here. Chris, you buy the

25:00

only one cracker that's still hanging

25:03

around. I kind of a. thought

25:05

that for dangling like a spangleberry

25:08

since you left Plainfield I was

25:10

somebody was saying you know she's

25:12

she's on a cracker break since

25:15

she left Plainfield said I know

25:17

after so I'm trying to shop

25:20

black because they fucking with us

25:22

so I was on TikTok and

25:24

somebody was like, oh, buy from

25:27

black farmers. And I said, yeah,

25:29

I'm a family black farmer. So

25:31

I Google one and this man

25:34

sell a cow once a month.

25:36

And if you don't buy the

25:39

whole cow for 2000, he sell

25:41

them five, he cut it up

25:43

and split the meat between four

25:46

people for $500 a box. No,

25:48

I thought you meant a live

25:51

cow. No, they cut it up.

25:53

I'm gonna do with something hot

25:55

and moving. You talking about preparing

25:58

for the apocalypse, I thought she

26:00

was getting milk out this nigger,

26:03

I don't know. You think she

26:05

had them next to the bowl

26:07

masses or whatever she's got? Freezing

26:10

a fucking... No, what they do

26:12

is they take a whole cow

26:15

and then they cut up like,

26:17

okay, here's the rump roast, here's

26:19

the rib meat, here's the... Niggy

26:22

you said the apocalypse when you

26:24

say I went and bought a

26:27

cow I'm thinking oh you got

26:29

land you got a cow you

26:31

prepare it that's what I thought

26:34

that's why I was confused like

26:36

why was she buy a cow

26:39

we know I bought a cow

26:41

for fresh meat I got you

26:43

that's right there would me think

26:46

the baby in the closet no

26:48

So I'm getting my shit together.

26:51

So I bought bullets a day,

26:53

I never buy bullets. So I

26:55

told Gary, I said, you gotta

26:58

sleep on the bed with a

27:00

gun. You gotta take your gun,

27:03

I sleep on the bed because

27:05

you owe. And you know when

27:07

somebody break here, you got it,

27:10

when you jump up, your eyes

27:12

gotta die late, refocus, and you

27:15

got to wake up. You got

27:17

to wake up. When I say

27:19

they're in here, don't even on

27:22

your eye, just pull the trigger.

27:24

Shoot Oh God. Because he owned

27:26

now, so when he get up,

27:29

he got to, his eyes got

27:31

to die late, he got to

27:34

focus, he got to scratch. All

27:36

of that before he shoots something

27:38

out, so we dead. We pretty

27:41

much did. Can't pull a muscle

27:43

if you're trying to bust a

27:46

cap. That's why I told my,

27:48

I said, don't even get up,

27:50

baby, just pull the trigger. Me

27:53

and the kids gonna know to

27:55

lay down, anybody standing up, go

27:58

get got. Just pull off. If

28:00

somebody did break up, break in

28:02

your house, do you think everybody,

28:05

I feel like you'd be really

28:07

actually calm and collected and take

28:10

care of business? Uh, I hope

28:12

I would. I think all of

28:14

you would see you coming. We

28:17

don't we I'm telling you. Yeah,

28:19

you can't sneak up on her

28:22

crib No, I mean I got

28:24

too much going on. First of

28:26

all, we're gonna we're gonna we're

28:29

gonna kill you and we're gonna

28:31

cook you I'm personally gonna cook

28:34

you. I have a pot just

28:36

for the cook links. You get

28:38

it from Paulade? And I'm going

28:41

to feed you to my cane

28:43

corso. I'm going to do some

28:46

snap type of shit. Don't come

28:48

over here. I ain't got time.

28:50

I'm preparing for the apocalypse. I

28:53

even bought a Bible. Did you?

28:55

Did it have the Bill of

28:58

Rights and the Declaration of Independence?

29:00

Yeah. Because Cills get booed, Canada's

29:02

song, they saw in the national

29:05

album in Canada, they booed the

29:07

shit out of that shit. They

29:09

should. They're right. They're right. So

29:12

Chris said something. And I ain't

29:14

picking on you because we do

29:17

love you. Do you kind of

29:19

wish you had a voted Democrat

29:21

now? No, because I live in

29:24

Indiana, wouldn't have made any difference.

29:26

And I've been telling everybody this

29:29

is exactly what was going to

29:31

happen. This guy bankrupted the country

29:33

and caused inflation after COVID and

29:36

now look, he's causing all of

29:38

these problems so he can fix

29:41

them because he's an insane person.

29:43

I don't think he's going to

29:45

fix them. He's going to try

29:48

and then he'll half-ass fix it

29:50

and then he'll go, I see

29:53

what I did, I did so

29:55

good. But how are you going

29:57

to fix something? First of all

30:00

I wasn't broken. I mean you

30:02

going, you raised tariffs on these

30:05

people. Yeah, what he's doing with

30:07

the tariffs is he is putting

30:09

them in place so he can

30:12

take them, he's using it as

30:14

a negotiation like with Mexico. So

30:17

Mexico, he puts these tariffs on

30:19

and then he gets a month

30:21

long break to force them to

30:24

put troops at their border. So

30:26

with Canada though, nobody has any

30:29

clue why he's mad at Canada.

30:31

No, he said about him. That's

30:33

why he mad. Because they was

30:36

talking shit. Because he was in

30:38

charge. Because Trey Boone, or Trey

30:41

Boone, what's that man name? Trudeau.

30:43

Trudeau. He got more hat in

30:45

Trump. He had real. So Trump

30:48

cannot get over that man having

30:50

that head. full of hell. And

30:53

you saw how his wife looked

30:55

at him. His wife wanted to

30:57

fuck Tradoon. And... You look like

31:00

you're doing cocaine. You keep saying

31:02

the name wrong while you're... What

31:04

are you doing? Trump is mad

31:07

about trade doom and sexy and

31:09

he's sweat. That's what he looked

31:12

like. You know how people blind

31:14

are their own bodies? They look

31:16

at the mirror and they see

31:19

something else. So when he look

31:21

in the mirror he sees trade

31:24

doom, but we see Trump. So

31:26

when Malania, you see that made

31:28

that fake video him, Malania kissing

31:31

trade doom. He saw that. And

31:33

when he woke up, he went

31:36

on the internet and said, 25%

31:38

tap, bitch, he kissed my wife.

31:40

And he was like, no, Mr.

31:43

President, that was AI. No, you

31:45

kissed that bitch. That's why she

31:48

had on her head like that,

31:50

inauguration, because she didn't want me

31:52

to kiss her. That nigga' lips

31:55

was not long enough to get

31:57

up on the head. And she...

32:00

She was so cold-blooded with it,

32:02

when he went to go kiss

32:04

her, she had put their head

32:07

down. She did. She went. Yep.

32:09

So that's why he mad. That's

32:12

why he mad at Canada. Why

32:14

he mad at China, I don't

32:16

know. We don't because China is

32:19

legitimately the cause of our fentanyl

32:21

crisis. Like they are shipping the

32:24

fentanyl to the cartels in South

32:26

America and shipping it here. And

32:28

they're doing it to... take out

32:31

military-age men especially. White people. Yeah,

32:33

I mean, that's why China is

32:36

public enemy number one. That's why

32:38

y'all read about fit now, because

32:40

when we, when our people's on

32:43

crack selling places for $2, note

32:45

the world didn't even fucking a

32:48

knowledge crack was a problem. But

32:50

now that they're taking out middle-aged.

32:52

white men's and y'all can't produce

32:55

these white babies, Congress is going

32:57

crazy. Plus I heard when you

32:59

get on fit now, it keeps

33:02

the sperm in the nut. So

33:04

y'all just literally pissing in bitches.

33:07

ain't born. You call this come?

33:09

This is piss. Get the fuck

33:11

out there. Come back when you

33:14

have real come. These women to

33:16

get yeast infections because all... I'm

33:19

not. As in your case. Going

33:21

back to the earlier discussion, like,

33:23

did you think that you got

33:26

pissed in? What? When you were

33:28

younger, like, and you didn't know

33:31

much about sex. I fucked a

33:33

grown man. He was a... I

33:35

got... I guess... Do I have

33:38

a waterhead baby? You're gonna kill

33:40

me. She said, do I gotta

33:43

water? Is that where they come

33:45

from? They piss baby? Yeah. Piss

33:47

will just drop us fur. Then

33:50

the baby come out water here.

33:52

Poor Nikea. She says he's slow

33:55

nut. He sure is. But you're

33:57

right, all the Fentanyl issue, we

33:59

try to. And that's why they

34:02

mad. They can't get y'all off

34:04

Fentanyl. And did you see the

34:07

funniest video I saw? was the

34:09

Mexicans being making videos about America's

34:11

how lazy we are which is

34:14

kind of fucked up with hilarious

34:16

did you see the one where

34:19

they said the Mexican was undercover

34:21

like Americans they sitting on the

34:23

corner bent over because they on

34:26

drugs. No. I

34:29

saw the construction site in Florida

34:31

say everybody ran off. He said,

34:33

Mr. President, you deported me. Thank

34:36

you for the week vacation. My

34:38

hotel friends got me new ID.

34:40

He said, I'll be back next

34:42

week. The price goes up. I

34:45

saw the construction site in Florida

34:47

saying everybody, everybody ran off. Man,

34:49

there was up. Hey, I think

34:51

I saved this video. I wanted

34:54

to send it to y'all. Hold

34:56

on. We switching up things here

34:58

on the pat down. I see,

35:00

I see some of y'all are

35:02

struggling. So do yourself a favor

35:05

and send me a question at

35:07

beeppike.com/Miss Pat. You can leave me

35:09

a message and we will answer

35:11

your question on the show. Don't

35:14

be dumb. Go and ask now.

35:16

And remember, no question is a

35:18

dumb question. Go to speakpipe.com/misspat. That's

35:20

MSPAT. Now let me spell speakpipe

35:23

for you because you know I'll

35:25

be fucking up some words. It's

35:27

S-E-A-K-P-I-P-E-D-com slash misspat. I did not

35:29

find that video. Oh, well don't

35:32

worry about it because it gets

35:34

wet. Biance, one, one, the Grammy

35:36

for the country song. And she

35:38

looks so shocked. I'm like, Beyonce,

35:41

you wouldn't even came if you

35:43

didn't know you didn't win. So

35:45

you know you just ain't going

35:47

to a war show. You'd be

35:50

un-fucking, say. So, but I'm glad

35:52

she won. I'm glad we acknowledged

35:54

her because the country musical war

35:56

was so fucking racist that they

35:59

know that girl had. album and

36:01

you know some and I can't

36:03

fault the white people. Black people

36:05

you take everything for them. You

36:08

can't take something you created. Black

36:10

people take everything for the white

36:12

people. No we make country neither.

36:14

I'm not gonna let you do

36:17

that. No, y'all can't have it.

36:19

It was ours first. You let

36:21

y'all have it for 90 years

36:23

because y'all kept buying that goofy

36:26

ass flag and saying nigger all

36:28

the time. But then, Beyonce came

36:30

out, didn't say nitty, made the

36:32

best album and took our shit

36:35

back. Fuck that. And I don't

36:37

think they're happy. Nah, they niggas

36:39

mess. They was so mad. Because,

36:41

I mean... That's what we do.

36:44

When you... And what's the other

36:46

boy's name? The black dude? They

36:48

was mad at him too? Ooh.

36:50

Was that the... What's his name

36:53

for? Lil Mazak. No. What'd you

36:55

say, Pat? You boozy? Yeah, him.

36:57

Jaboozy. They was mad at him

36:59

for something. Because he had a

37:01

kick-ass song and everybody loved it.

37:04

And you know what's so fucked

37:06

up. Because when we do it,

37:08

we'd do a big, baby. That

37:10

country album, everybody put on cap

37:13

on boots. Do you know how

37:15

uncomfortable an ugly lap boots is?

37:17

They want a bitch? I didn't

37:19

know it was out there my

37:22

ugly lap boots. Just dancing their

37:24

ass. I said shit, they don't

37:26

dance in the boot. They're motherfug

37:28

uncomfortable. But that's what we do.

37:31

Ice game, basketball, football, singing, rapping,

37:33

dancing. We created a light bulbs,

37:35

stop light. That's what we do.

37:38

We made ranch, which is

37:40

your favorite condiment. Oh, great!

37:43

Oh, we didn't make the

37:45

ranch, Chris. Hidden Valley. So

37:47

that was, it was a

37:49

hidden valley. They hid the

37:52

diggle. What is the word

37:54

gender ranch? I don't know.

37:56

Black, a black man created

37:59

it. Okay. And then he

38:01

sold it to Clorox. Nice.

38:03

They turned it into the

38:05

poison. That's killing all of

38:08

y'all. Wow. Did you know

38:10

a black man created that?

38:12

Oh, it's black history. Give

38:15

me some more things black

38:17

people are created before we

38:19

get out of it. It's

38:21

black history. Mine. One thing

38:24

I want to do is

38:26

make sure you know what

38:28

my people created. Barnier. Are

38:31

we ever going to get

38:33

that Harry at Tubman 20?

38:35

Is that? Yeah, whatever happened

38:37

to that? I know Trump

38:40

was mad about it, Biden

38:42

could have done something about

38:44

it, he didn't. I don't

38:47

think they're going to bring

38:49

it back. Well, I'm getting

38:51

rid of all that, D-E-I

38:53

on the money. Well, the

38:56

money is going on. It's

38:58

a 14-year process, apparently. Well,

39:00

why don't we just do

39:03

Harriet Tubman on Bitcoin? She

39:05

was a big black woman.

39:07

That'll be perfect. Bitcoin? Harry

39:09

Tubman? Are you talking about

39:12

turning her into Bitcoin's or

39:14

her own type of coin?

39:16

That's like Bitcoin. I don't

39:19

know. I think Harriet Tubman

39:21

being the mascot for Bitcoin

39:23

is a good idea. Yeah.

39:25

I mean, I can't say

39:28

why. She could be the

39:30

first face, she could be

39:32

the first face of cyber.

39:35

Crypto? Yeah, crypto, yeah. So

39:37

I'm gonna finish telling you

39:39

what us black people did.

39:41

Oh, I didn't know that

39:44

and white people about to

39:46

lose their mind. Barney was

39:48

a black man. From what

39:51

year? Night. Where

39:55

do you go from? The

39:58

black man was burning. He

40:00

used a white voice but

40:02

kept his big body at

40:04

the bottom. Some most racist

40:07

shit. You couldn't find no,

40:09

Chris was here for that

40:11

job. Dean, so the voice

40:13

actors was Dean went. And

40:16

it was a black, it

40:18

was a black man body.

40:20

Mm-hmm. That's fucked up, don't

40:22

tell us that. Oh, Pat,

40:25

Pat, you can be so

40:27

mad. You're going

40:29

to be so mad. What?

40:31

Look at this picture. This

40:34

is Dean went. The man

40:36

in green. That was the

40:39

voice of Barney. Oh my

40:41

God. He doesn't get much.

40:44

He's celebrating. He looked like,

40:46

he looked like buds from

40:48

home alone. What else? Kevin,

40:51

what did you do to

40:53

my room? Yeah,

40:58

we know Madam Jackson

41:00

was the first black

41:02

mayor of Atlanta. Can

41:04

you put the city

41:07

on before, before, trap

41:09

music, Tyler Perry, or

41:11

TI? I was, I

41:13

live, Maina Jackson. Okay,

41:15

so what's he? I'm

41:17

talking about some people

41:19

who make the stop.

41:21

She don't sound happy.

41:23

She don't know how

41:25

hard are you? You

41:27

don't know who will

41:29

it be is do

41:32

you? Tell us the

41:34

story and let's get

41:36

her on camera. I

41:38

want to see your

41:40

face. So will it

41:42

be this is Ivano

41:44

who is our new

41:46

producer. Yes. So you're

41:48

so you know who

41:50

that. So will it

41:52

be? Yeah. Are

41:55

you from Atlanta?

41:58

She is trying

42:00

to celebrate black

42:03

history and she

42:06

is trying to

42:08

celebrate black history.

42:11

See she is

42:14

trying to celebrate

42:16

black history and

42:19

Miss Pat is

42:22

about to set

42:24

everything back with

42:27

this story. who

42:39

told everybody that the world was

42:42

going to end. They like, they

42:44

taught the guerrilla sign language.

42:46

Coco. I got a fine. Yeah,

42:48

Coco. You know, Coco. Yeah, yeah,

42:51

that's like a famous gorilla or.

42:53

Yeah, Coco was a girl.

42:55

Lily B was a gorilla too.

42:58

Yeah, but Pat, tell her your

43:00

story about. So, Willie B is,

43:02

he was really famous here at

43:05

the Atlanta Zoo. So that's

43:07

the airport main name after him.

43:09

Meader Jackson. Wait a man, I

43:12

don't think I'll do it. I

43:14

don't think you're right. Nobody's willing

43:16

to. Wait a minute, it's

43:18

something named after me and poor.

43:21

I'm getting him. Oh, shit the

43:23

fuck up. So he was an

43:26

ape here in the zoo.

43:28

And he's very famous, but we

43:30

loved him. I mean, Atlanta love

43:32

Willoughby. He ran his bitch. So

43:35

he was just very famous at

43:37

the zoo. I could have

43:39

sworn something was named after Willoughby.

43:42

It was Willoughby's name after the

43:44

mayor. She said he escaped. He's

43:47

trying to figure out what the

43:49

story is. There's no story

43:51

whatsoever. I just kept fucking remember.

43:53

So he was just famous. fuck

43:56

me up because he's big and

43:58

black and that's how my

44:00

granddaddy looked and I'm third grade

44:03

I was like why my granddaddy

44:05

on my field trip and it

44:07

fucked me up yeah she's already

44:10

quit she just left That

44:12

monkey fell out. She said, oh

44:14

no, this is wrong picture. Can't

44:17

be here. I mean, I feel

44:19

like, you know, speaking of other,

44:21

you know, black history people.

44:23

Alvin Ailey, which I think, you

44:26

know, everybody knows who Alvin Ailey

44:28

is, the dance company, but the

44:31

fact that he had to

44:33

create their own separate black dance

44:35

company, like why would they even

44:37

try to keep black people out

44:40

to dance? That doesn't even make

44:42

anything. So was Alan Avi

44:44

a white dance company? No, Alvin

44:47

Ailey is a black man and

44:49

he created Alvin Ailey dance company

44:51

because they wouldn't let white black

44:54

people into white dance companies,

44:56

which I don't even know what

44:58

white dance companies are. Well, you're

45:01

saying white people can't dance if

45:03

you're not getting at Chris.

45:05

Well, no. Before we came alone,

45:07

it was just a bunch of

45:10

moving in one spot. things. Yeah

45:12

so we came along and told

45:15

them that they can actually

45:17

pick up their feet and move.

45:19

They got mad and say y'all

45:21

y'all want us to sweat. So

45:24

they didn't let the black people

45:26

in and Alan Evans created

45:28

the own thing because we could

45:31

dance and they could. So is

45:33

the white gold not to sweat?

45:35

What the fuck is this

45:37

draw? No. I'm not a good

45:40

answer. That should be very good.

45:42

No, I can't. I don't dance

45:45

at all. No, Pat, you're a

45:47

good dancer. You can dance.

45:49

No, I can't. Yeah, you can.

45:51

I've seen you at the parties.

45:54

You dance really well. If that's

45:56

what you think dancing is, Chris.

45:59

I mean, compared to me,

46:01

you're a good dancer. Yeah, Chris,

46:03

you're not complimenting anybody when you

46:05

say shit like that. No, I

46:08

think you can dance. I've

46:10

always, I thought you were a

46:12

good dancer. And we race each

46:15

other and I outrun you, you're

46:17

fast. But if I get next

46:19

to somebody who can run,

46:21

you ain't shit. So I'm better

46:24

than you, but I'm really ain't

46:26

shit. I feel like you're a

46:29

good dancer. Yeah, because that's how

46:31

you feel. Any other great,

46:33

so we're gonna be announcing every

46:35

week and don't get mad if

46:38

you, you know, if you don't

46:40

want to hit this shit,

46:42

just let it play. But we're

46:45

going to let you know the

46:47

great things that African-American have made

46:49

and did for this lovely country

46:52

that some people think we

46:54

did absolutely nothing. And that's a

46:56

lot. And today you learn that

46:59

Black Man made Hidden Valley Ranch.

47:01

He made them right. Steve Henson.

47:03

So in the 1950s he

47:05

developed Ranch, the creamy urban fused

47:08

dressing while working as a plumbing

47:10

contractor in Alaska. and he founded

47:13

Hidden Valley Ranch in California

47:15

where they started selling the dressing

47:17

and then they sold the brand

47:20

of Chlorox in 1972 and it's

47:22

one of the most popular condiments

47:24

of the country now. Mm-hmm.

47:26

And give me some of Black

47:29

Woman, dude. So I have some,

47:31

brought some more recent people. I

47:34

have some Rina William. Do not

47:36

enter. Yeah, but we know

47:38

what she did. She broke tennis

47:40

rooms. The records. What role is

47:43

she break in tennis? She won't

47:45

bees and they say her hair

47:48

was too loud. They literally... Did

47:50

they really say that? Yeah, they

47:52

try to say her hair be

47:55

wrapping. Man, them girls be coming

47:57

down there when they be

47:59

hitting them. And they was mad

48:02

about some beads? All right, we

48:04

got Garrett Morgan. He invented this

48:06

gas mask. in the three position

48:09

traffic signal? Yes, Garrett, Garrett

48:11

Morgan, 1877 to 1963. You know

48:13

that stop light with the three

48:16

lights in it, red, yellow, and

48:18

green? My people did that

48:20

for you. So you don't wreck

48:22

your car and make your insurance

48:25

go up higher. I'm like, Daniel

48:27

Hale Williams, to form one of

48:30

the first successful open heart

48:32

surgery in the 1893. And this

48:34

is just me kind of getting

48:36

a little bit of my business,

48:39

or putting you in my business.

48:41

But I just had a

48:43

really great pap smear. Huh? Or

48:46

this week? And what the fuck

48:48

is a great pet smear? Quick

48:50

one. When she just in

48:52

and out. Because you know, pap

48:55

smears, they'd be having them for

48:57

20 minutes. You know, just looking

49:00

at them for five minutes. But

49:02

that's two, that's a long

49:04

time. Somebody planning your pussy. It

49:06

don't take that long. They'd be

49:09

in there for like five minutes.

49:11

This girl, she was in there.

49:14

She was in there. She

49:16

was a black woman. She was

49:18

a black woman doctor. She was

49:20

a black woman doctor. You know,

49:23

everybody wants a black doctor

49:25

or what, you know, that's like

49:27

popular, but to me, it doesn't

49:30

matter as long as they're excellent.

49:32

So she was black and excellent.

49:34

She gave a really great

49:36

pap smear, so shout out to

49:39

my doctor. What do you mean?

49:41

All pap smears are the same.

49:44

Oh, you got a bad one.

49:46

Well, what's a bad one?

49:48

Did he, did you? One nap?

49:50

They smear a lot of pap.

49:53

They're popular. And they just start

49:55

smearing your pap just everywhere.

49:57

They put your pap on your

50:00

face. They put pap on the

50:02

back of your head. I don't

50:04

know what a bad thing is.

50:07

All of them uncomfortable. Especially

50:09

when they wipe it up. Let

50:11

me ask you this. Have you

50:14

had sex recently? Yes. Well that's

50:16

why a nigger had open you

50:18

up for the past. You

50:20

said you're going on a more

50:23

super tight pussy. It's gone. They

50:25

don't. It was no good pathway

50:28

to the dick you had.

50:30

to make the pap smear easy

50:32

to go in. Well I wasn't

50:34

trying to set out black ones

50:37

for black kids for me. That's

50:39

me and my... Well don't

50:41

forget, shout out of the niggles

50:44

who gave you the dick, who

50:46

made the pap smear possible. It

50:48

wasn't your doctor, it was your

50:51

one nice day. I'm like

50:53

what's so fucking bad past smear?

50:55

Then he just taking and putting

50:58

fistsists in there, because I'm thinking

51:00

all types of ways. I've

51:02

never had a bad pap smear.

51:05

Really? I mean, you know, I'm

51:07

fat, so when they stick their

51:09

hand in there and they gotta

51:12

grab your uterus or your

51:14

ovaries, so sometime he had to

51:16

punch me in my stomach, so

51:19

whatever is stuck up in my

51:21

fat can go back down, so

51:23

he can examine it. Don't

51:25

tell my uterus move around like

51:28

nuts. So he'll punch it down

51:30

to make sure they're the right

51:33

size. Oh. Oh, man. I

51:35

think, y'all, this is her first

51:37

day, I think I'll skip shit

51:39

out there. If you didn't get

51:42

it with Willie B, you got

51:44

her with that one, I

51:46

think. You don't even know who

51:49

to fuck gonna pop up and

51:51

we learn the search thing as

51:53

a good pap smear. To me

51:56

a good pap smear come

51:58

back and say, you don't. have

52:00

HIV. You don't have an

52:02

STD. Anything green crawling out

52:04

your booty hole. That's a

52:07

little bit right there. I

52:09

don't know why she thinks

52:11

it's good because it went in

52:13

easy. Shout out to the tight

52:15

ones. Thank you all for

52:18

tuning in to another great

52:20

episode of The Patdown.

52:22

And we're going to learn all

52:24

this month what black people

52:27

did. Who creates, so

52:29

next week we

52:31

gonna tell you

52:33

who created them two

52:35

spoons for the bus.

52:38

Oh, wouldn't that be

52:40

cool as a black man

52:43

or a black woman

52:45

for the speculum?

52:47

She created the

52:50

speculcom. Speculkum. Hey,

52:53

she's, she can

52:55

spell too. Yeah,

52:57

this was invented in the 19th

52:59

century, which is, what's that, the 1800s,

53:02

19th century? Yeah. Yeah, in general, I

53:04

think that we just got to do

53:06

better with like women's health and women's

53:08

medicine. Like if you can get, you

53:10

know, life both through your belly button,

53:12

why do you have to break in

53:14

half to have kids? What do you mean,

53:17

break in half? I never been broken

53:19

half. That's what it be looking like. I mean, I haven't

53:21

had any kids, but you got to tear, they sew you up.

53:23

Well, that's called a C-section, man. They got to get the got-dam

53:25

baby out. You know, we didn't hear vagina rips. Well, you're pushing

53:27

a human being at your pussy. That's what I'm saying. There's not

53:29

a better way. There's not a- you're pushing a human being at

53:31

your pussy. That's what I'm saying. Well, you, you, you're pushing a

53:33

push it, you're pushing a human being, you're pushing a human being,

53:35

you're pushing a human being, you pushing a human being, you're a

53:38

human being, you're a human being, you're a human being, you're a

53:40

human being, you're a human being, you're a human being, you're a

53:42

human being, you're a human being, you're a human being, you're a

53:44

human being, you're a human being, you're

53:46

a human being, you If you're a

53:48

child, if you don't want your vagina,

53:51

or room. Smoke. Smoke. They're gonna, they

53:53

gonna sew your pussy back up. And

53:55

it's just a muscle. It's a muscle.

53:57

What do you want to say? a

54:00

pill to get pregnant? She said,

54:02

why can't we do it a

54:04

better way? God damn. You don't,

54:07

maybe an incubator. I don't want

54:09

to tear my pussy. It's a

54:11

private example of a lazy-ass woman

54:14

these days. What am I doing? I

54:16

don't want to know your person

54:18

to business, but... You just asked

54:20

me when the last time I

54:23

had sex was. You don't want

54:25

to know my person. Well, you

54:27

never been fucked in the booty.

54:30

I don't

54:32

want to

54:34

know your

54:36

business, take

54:38

it easy.

54:40

I mean,

54:43

anything one

54:46

of your

54:48

rectum, it

54:51

hurt. So I

54:53

can't, I don't

54:55

know. Yeah, this

54:58

is a prime

55:00

example. Oh, man.

55:02

They don't want

55:04

to put in

55:06

the work. Be

55:08

in your opinion.

55:11

I don't hear

55:13

it. Don't you

55:15

miss up my stomach?

55:17

Don't you dare miss

55:20

up my mind? You

55:23

never want to cry.

55:25

I've never heard of more

55:27

in your business question. I'm

55:30

so glad you didn't ask.

55:32

I was not expecting you

55:34

to say that. And then

55:37

when you said that, I

55:39

was like, well. Oh man.

55:41

What a fun episode. We

55:44

need it. In your business

55:46

thing you can ask somebody.

55:49

Well, it's been in your butt.

55:51

Sweet young girls here to help us. And

55:53

you would ask you if you can vote

55:55

for you. You said it's so serious. Oh,

55:57

I was going to tell a book book.

56:00

is way worse than having a

56:02

baby. I've never been booked

56:04

up, but you know, even

56:06

when I had to put

56:08

an animal in my ass,

56:10

I was screaming. I don't

56:12

know. I don't need to

56:14

laugh no more for the

56:16

rest of the day. I

56:18

had COVID last week. I

56:20

can't deal with it. Like

56:22

dying. Well, no. You must

56:24

have been a rounded out

56:26

with your ass. You must

56:29

have been an A student.

56:31

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm

56:33

sorry. I'll stop. So I

56:35

switched to that guy Sims,

56:37

right? So here it says,

56:39

well Sims is credited with

56:41

refining the speculum, the enslaved

56:43

black woman he experimented on,

56:45

likely contributed to development of

56:47

the speculums. Now that was

56:49

a bad pep smear, because

56:51

I guarantee you nothing in

56:53

her pussy while she picked

56:55

cotton. Yeah, there was nothing.

56:57

Yeah, there was nothing. Yeah,

56:59

he promised. And let me

57:01

see what fall out of

57:03

you in between. So yeah,

57:05

that's a bad pep smear.

57:07

But you know. Is they

57:10

not metal anymore? No, they

57:12

stopped that. What is the

57:14

pep smear? Could you tell

57:16

us? Could I tell you

57:18

what a pap smear is?

57:20

I'm like, do you know

57:22

what a pap smear is?

57:24

I mean, I could, but

57:26

we out of time, so

57:28

we gotta go. I ain't

57:30

no doctor. It is the

57:32

door key to the pussy.

57:34

I gotta tell you I

57:36

need some, we gotta go

57:38

for real. So I used

57:40

to be a medical sister,

57:42

I think I told you

57:44

all this. And I always.

57:46

Can you believe it? I

57:50

couldn't imagine listening to this last

57:52

hour and then going, yeah, she

57:55

worked in the medical field. I

57:57

was a medical assistant and the

57:59

doctor was like a family doctor

58:02

so he saw everything. And one

58:04

day I said, I must see

58:07

what it looked, see what it

58:09

like, just look inside of a

58:11

pimp smear. And I stood behind

58:14

him and he opened his lady

58:16

pussy and it was like a

58:18

tunnel. And I was like, what

58:21

the fuck. And it was dark.

58:23

And he shined that light down

58:26

that hole. It gave me flashback

58:28

to him. Our lights used to

58:30

get cut off at the house.

58:33

And it was. I was like,

58:35

oh my God, he would stick

58:37

a cute to me. He was

58:40

just hooling shit out there. It

58:42

was like a secret hole full

58:45

of posts. And I was like,

58:47

never again, I never want to

58:49

see inside of a pussy. It's

58:52

like a tunnel to nowhere. So.

58:54

You never sit in front of

58:57

a mirror on the top of

58:59

the mirror? Just to go watch.

59:01

Watch the video to see how

59:04

many years of bad luck she

59:06

would have if she didn't. My

59:08

scum could do my vagina. So

59:11

it's a lot to hold my

59:13

stomach back. And then try to

59:16

look for. No ma'am. I don't

59:18

look at my. I've never done

59:20

that. I don't know. You should

59:23

know. In case something is off.

59:25

You know, you just have to

59:27

check in every so long. What

59:30

the fuck are you talking about?

59:32

Yeah, but your pussy ain't gonna

59:35

get no knives. I mean, you

59:37

know, maybe there's a little redness

59:39

or, I don't know, just gotta

59:42

check in. You gotta take all

59:44

their sharp teeth or where they're

59:46

supposed to be. I've never heard

59:49

nobody. The doctor has never say

59:51

check, check it for lumps and

59:54

teeth and left over legal and

59:56

the condoms or dangers that can

59:58

get stuck off in there. I

1:00:01

don't know why but I guess

1:00:03

this is what the new people

1:00:05

do. Ma'am, at this age, we

1:00:08

don't even want to know. We

1:00:10

don't want to look at that.

1:00:13

First of all, it's gray, it's

1:00:15

dark, it's cold. And we, I

1:00:17

can't even get my leg up.

1:00:20

Why isn't cold? I get why

1:00:22

it's gray, but and dark, but

1:00:24

cold. I can't, I mean, you

1:00:27

want me to have a full,

1:00:29

it'll take a full body mirror

1:00:32

for me to see my pussy.

1:00:34

I got a set on it.

1:00:36

I mean, I got a hope

1:00:39

that don't let the drip and

1:00:41

then the mirror fog up. She

1:00:43

said, shit, vagina lobes. I've never

1:00:46

done that. It's yours. The vagina

1:00:48

lobes? How old is she? How

1:00:51

old are you? I'm an adult.

1:00:53

Okay. You sound like a real

1:00:55

adult. Because she made you sound

1:00:58

like you were super young. I

1:01:00

didn't know how old you were.

1:01:03

She was talking to you like

1:01:05

you were a child. I really.

1:01:07

So I think you're figuring out

1:01:10

both parents. No. No. Did you,

1:01:12

did you, you grew up about

1:01:14

parents or no? No. My father

1:01:17

passed. But your parents were, were

1:01:19

they married? For a little bit,

1:01:22

but like they weren't married long

1:01:24

and they were divorced. Like, yeah.

1:01:26

You give me, you give me

1:01:29

two-parent energy. Yeah, no. What did

1:01:31

you go to college? I went

1:01:33

to Georgetown. Yeah. Yeah, I made

1:01:36

it in English, so this is

1:01:38

what I do. So I welcome

1:01:41

to the team. You are way

1:01:43

too qualified for this. Yeah. Stop

1:01:45

fingering yourself, it's going to be

1:01:48

all right down there. It's it.

1:01:50

You do not have to do

1:01:52

the thing to do. That is

1:01:55

for your doctor. and you know

1:01:57

you know, you keep

1:02:00

rack in shape.

1:02:02

shape. Don't get anything you know

1:02:04

unbalanced. Don't go to get

1:02:07

anything, you know,

1:02:09

unbalanced. Don't go

1:02:11

to fuck.com. y'all so the fuck that

1:02:13

is, thank y 'all so much for

1:02:15

tuning in to another episode of

1:02:17

the crazy ass pet. Thank y 'all so much

1:02:20

for tuning in to another episode

1:02:22

of the Patdown. Make sure you

1:02:24

check out my website you check out my.com

1:02:26

Pack all of my social media,

1:02:28

my tour dates, my book. Make

1:02:30

sure you spread the word about

1:02:32

my word about my podcast. and review. review. Please

1:02:34

rate and review and share. Thank

1:02:36

y 'all so much, y 'all. I've

1:02:38

been been Miss Pat.