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for the link to the Patreon, and

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while you're there, join our Facebook group.

1:14

All right, we got to wrap this

1:17

up. Uh, appreciate y'all y'all stay

1:19

safe out there. Intrude. Intrude.

1:22

Welcome to another episode of

1:24

The Patdown. We got all

1:26

kind of shit going on.

1:28

We got my security guard

1:30

song. We got my brother

1:33

calling in from the federal

1:35

opinion. We got my gay

1:37

daughter with saltry eyes.

1:40

Just stay tuned, you

1:42

gonna bust your ass

1:44

laughing, nothing but the

1:46

other classy at the

1:48

same time. Got the

1:51

flavor, these are not

1:53

the same lines. That's

1:55

the politics, she been

1:57

on the real bribe.

2:00

It could be pretty,

2:02

but ugly at the

2:04

same time. Just too

2:06

in, put your lock

2:09

on the spend down.

2:11

Ain't no need for

2:13

the waiting turn. This

2:15

YouTuber and her husband,

2:18

Michael Staufer, adopted a

2:20

two-year- Two-year-old toddler out

2:22

of China. Huxley, they

2:24

named this Chinese baby.

2:26

So he would not

2:29

be confused as to...

2:31

What did he get

2:33

him from? China? Oh.

2:35

All Chinese babies don't

2:38

come from China, nigger.

2:40

They could have came

2:42

from Hawaii, Mexico? You

2:44

hear what you just

2:47

said? What? Not all

2:49

Chinese babies come from

2:51

China. Yeah, they do.

2:53

That's how you know

2:56

they Chinese. Nigga, I'm

2:58

black and I ain't

3:00

come from Africa. She's

3:02

got you on that one. Fuck

3:04

as you're talking about. I was

3:07

born at Greater Memorial House Bill.

3:09

So Chinese kids can be born

3:11

right here in America. I mean

3:14

they like Chinese people don't smoke

3:16

crack and do drugs and have

3:19

babies and put them up for

3:21

adoption and shit when they get

3:23

too many. They only got so

3:26

many pair of shoes they can

3:28

buy and want so many. What's

3:30

the difference between a LA Chinese

3:33

and a Chinese Chinese to you?

3:35

American? What difference does it fucking

3:37

make? Oh, that's it! It's from

3:40

China. Does it say if there's

3:42

a reseller involved here? No, I'm,

3:44

what I'm saying is, what I'm

3:47

saying is, you say it was

3:49

a Chinese baby, so now my

3:51

question was where the baby from?

3:54

Jack called the baby Chinese, don't

3:56

mean he's just from, uh, from,

3:58

uh, what, she came in here

4:01

looking like, Craig's girlfriend from Friday.

4:03

What's up? No, I'm fine. You

4:06

got here talking the mic. Bye.

4:08

Bye. Hi Ashley, how you doing?

4:10

So Ashley, the question is, somebody

4:13

said, didn't later have a Chinese

4:15

baby. And I asked him, what

4:17

a baby from. Can someone else

4:20

give the question? I said, Michael

4:22

Staufer and her husband adopted Huxley

4:24

from China. Oh. Where are you

4:27

from? China! So it's an answer

4:29

to China? No, I was, I

4:31

didn't hear it from China. I

4:34

thought the baby was over here.

4:36

I didn't know that it gets,

4:38

go, I don't know. This is

4:41

why I don't do this podcast.

4:43

I'm confused. You stay confused. Did

4:46

you, did you guys see that?

4:48

tweet I sent you guys of

4:50

Trump saying China for two minutes

4:53

of 45 seconds. What do you

4:55

say? Pull it up. Pull it

4:57

up. It's just him saying China

5:00

over and over and over and

5:02

all these rallies and speeches. But

5:04

anyway, what happened to the baby?

5:07

So what was the baby's special

5:09

gift? He was autistic. So, so.

5:11

It wasn't a special day. China.

5:14

China. China. China. China. China. China.

5:16

China. China. China. China. China. You

5:18

know. China. I know China very

5:21

well. China. China. China. China. China.

5:23

China. China. China. China. China. China.

5:25

China. China. China. China. China. You

5:28

want to buy from China. Buy

5:30

from China. Buy from China. Buy

5:33

from China. I have people that

5:35

I know in China, China, China.

5:37

And it literally goes on like

5:40

that for another minute. So what

5:42

was a baby gift? Why did

5:44

the baby make money on YouTube?

5:47

No, no, they. Like that kid

5:49

that does toy openings? The baby

5:51

didn't make money. They made money

5:54

off the baby because they chronicled

5:56

their story of adopting the kid.

5:58

We mean chronicled. They made videos

6:01

and stuff. Oh, from the beginning

6:03

when they put in their paperwork.

6:05

Yeah, yeah. So they had how

6:08

precious they were. And so then

6:10

they, then they found, they found

6:13

out he was autistic. And they

6:15

gave him back. And they were

6:17

like, yeah, no one told us

6:20

he was going to be like

6:22

this. And so they didn't look

6:24

like that. They were like, it's

6:27

too much of a hassle of

6:29

a hassle. to deal with all

6:31

these medical problems so we gotta

6:34

give them to somebody who don't

6:36

have a YouTube channel. That's exactly

6:38

right. This isn't gonna be good

6:41

for you. How many photos did

6:43

you have? It says hundreds of

6:45

thousands so. A lot less now.

6:48

Then they call hella-flack. This is

6:50

what this is what we look

6:52

like right here. Oh no. She

6:55

can tell that baby was autistic.

6:58

So that's so fucked up. I

7:00

don't understand how you can just

7:02

give a baby back after two

7:04

years like well, you know them

7:07

My I don't understand how you

7:09

can give a baby back either

7:11

you adopted it. I mean, it's

7:13

legally you're you're the guardian of

7:15

the child Who would they give

7:17

a who did they send him

7:19

to like the adoption agency or

7:21

I haven't I didn't read all

7:23

of the article. Okay. I just

7:26

I was so blown away by

7:28

the fact that they were like

7:30

yeah we can't do this and

7:32

then they told people about it.

7:34

Yeah, shout out to parents of

7:36

autistic children because it's it's it's

7:38

really difficult. Yeah, my friend's son

7:40

is autistic, but he's smart as

7:43

fuck, you know, courtland, and he

7:45

tells really funny stories about his

7:47

son, but his son was playing

7:49

a video game one day and

7:51

got so mad and through the

7:53

controller and broke day like 70

7:55

inch TV. Yeah. I would have

7:57

beat his autistic ass. I'm sorry,

8:00

but specially you got to get

8:02

their ass whoops so they know

8:04

right from wrong too. He didn't,

8:06

he wasn't listening. He wasn't listening.

8:08

I tried to get a check

8:10

for Nike. He died. Right. And

8:12

he was in his 50s getting

8:14

his ass whipped. Uncle Cesar put

8:16

that choke hole on you up.

8:19

Uncle Cesar was mean as fuck.

8:21

What advice would you give to

8:23

parents based on raising Nikea? And

8:25

he ain't, he wasn't listening. I

8:27

tried to get a check for

8:29

Nike. What's that

8:32

child support? No, no. The

8:34

new well dollar down six.

8:36

I mean, the 12, all

8:39

that boy said. She couldn't

8:41

get Social Security or child

8:44

support for Nike. Nah, what

8:46

child's supporting her? Nahkeah, what

8:49

child's putting a nigger pay?

8:51

Twelve dollars, that man pay

8:54

me like 12. One time

8:56

he went down to $1.

8:59

Every six dollars are happy

9:01

meal. Every six dollars are

9:04

happy meal. 12 off of

9:06

two grown-ass motherfuckers, I should

9:09

have let it got my

9:11

list. Yes, whoa. Not quite,

9:14

child, but. So now you're

9:16

saying I let somebody ram-dick

9:19

up your nose, that's why

9:21

I'm big. I ain't let

9:23

nobody stick no dickey your

9:26

nose. That's just your nose

9:28

nickel. Was you snorting penicence?

9:31

He was doing mine for

9:33

the sick. Here's the scar

9:36

face of his generation. So

9:38

now is my fault he

9:41

got a big no. They

9:43

black so if my fault

9:46

you got a big no.

9:48

Why is it my fault

9:51

you stupid? What? Exactly. You

9:53

remember like, boy, who's a,

9:56

me, who's a correction officer

9:58

who lost his gun? Yeah.

10:01

So up there, I'm here

10:03

cleaning up. Now, kid don't

10:06

love his badge over. here

10:08

for the last three four

10:10

days. It should get on

10:13

my knee. I'll show a

10:15

whole school star, bet y'all.

10:18

Because I got one around

10:20

here that liked the cuss,

10:23

and I'm about to fuck

10:25

her up. How old is

10:28

she? Six. What did she

10:30

say to me the other

10:33

day? I said, y'all don't

10:35

eat downstad. If you eat

10:38

downstad, make sure you eat

10:40

at the table. And she

10:43

said, what she say, Ashley?

10:46

She said we are eating at

10:48

the table so shut the fuck

10:51

up mommy so I hear Ashley

10:53

say don't you say that so

10:55

what did she say she don't

10:57

want to tell me what she

10:59

said so when I ask her

11:01

to come out there so what

11:03

do you say oh what the

11:05

fuck are you say it she

11:07

said I didn't say it out

11:09

loud I said but what are

11:11

you saying I didn't say it

11:13

out loud yeah Donald Trump we

11:15

just heard you say it thank

11:17

you say it She was trying

11:19

to pull one of them trumps

11:21

on me. I'll say I'm gonna

11:23

beat y'all the fucking ass she

11:25

calls all the time. Is that

11:27

the baby? Yeah. I wonder where

11:29

she learned it. Yeah, I don't

11:31

know. Young impressionable mind. I speak

11:33

correct English. Has she ever called

11:35

you in the middle of a

11:37

cuss-out? Oh yeah. Like you answered

11:39

her phone? Hello, motherfuck and shut

11:41

your ass. Are you talking to

11:43

me? Why would you call me?

11:45

Then she called me when she

11:47

would eat, I called her today,

11:49

she was eating. Oh, she- Oh,

11:51

she- She's just talking about that.

11:53

Who was talking about that? What

11:55

wrong, me cussing that everybody? Everybody,

11:57

a sign cuss word. What? She

11:59

said. I can't even say

12:01

what mine is for her family. These

12:03

are not names I say to their

12:05

faces. I can imagine the group text.

12:08

Tell a whole ass nigga bitch to

12:10

get their ass outside. I can't even

12:12

say what mine is. Whose you're white

12:14

in? Oh yeah, white never. What you

12:16

doing, White? I'm like, uh... Oh, I'm

12:18

not gonna say the word, Ashley. Trying

12:20

to get me canceled, uh-uh, not today.

12:22

So I was over at Home Depot

12:24

the other day, right? And I went

12:26

over there buying some shit over there

12:28

for 38th Street in the ghetto and

12:30

I'm talking on the phone to Gary

12:32

on it and I look up and

12:34

there's these kids who I got a

12:36

crack baby. What? Over there selling pussy.

12:38

And I was like, oh my God.

12:40

Here in town? Yeah, I was like,

12:42

oh my God. I was on the

12:44

phone. I said, Gary on. She's like.

12:46

I said, I'm about to pull up

12:48

on this hole. She got a John

12:50

on her hand. They kissing, they drunk,

12:52

they walking cross street. She got on

12:54

shorts up to her pussy. She looked

12:56

like she smelled like sump, pump, dick,

12:58

dye, fry, and laid to the side.

13:00

And I mean, the middle of her

13:02

pants was soaking wick. So what I

13:04

was leaking out of her, she needed

13:06

a plumber. So. I look at her

13:08

and they get across the street and

13:10

they hug and they kiss so I'm

13:12

falling them in the car and Gary

13:14

I'm like don't say nothing to tell

13:16

her that the past be the past

13:18

and I it took everything in me

13:20

not to run that bitch over. And

13:22

then it's this nigger who she was

13:24

with had a little kid book bag

13:26

on and I guess she was taking

13:28

them behind this bit because I followed

13:30

them for a minute and they kept

13:32

looking back and she don't know my

13:34

car because I got a new car

13:37

because I got a new car because

13:39

I got a new car. Atlanta. No,

13:41

she was selling puts over there off

13:43

of 38th Street. And she, so she's

13:45

here in town, it makes no effort

13:47

to see her. No effort at all.

13:49

Well, she, every time when she ain't

13:51

got no dope to smoke, she's thinking

13:53

about the kid, and he's like, Kenny,

13:55

see me a kid so I can

13:57

think about him. I say, bitch, don't

13:59

play with me. No, I don't play

14:01

them cracking. I'll bust you crush her

14:03

mother fucking head. And I literally, that's

14:05

the first time I see her in

14:07

her in her in five years. She

14:09

was seeing her in five years. She

14:11

was seeing her in five years. She

14:13

was selling her in five years. She

14:15

was selling puss. She was selling puss.

14:17

She was selling puss. She was selling

14:19

puss. She was selling puss. She was

14:21

selling puss. She was selling puss. I

14:24

don't know who buy that kind of

14:26

person, because my knee's got them motherfucking

14:28

Freddy Cougal teeth. She got Jaws teeth.

14:30

I'm not gonna laugh, stop trying to

14:32

make me. No. And I'm lying like,

14:34

yeah, that shit, that mother's stacked in

14:37

her mouth like a canned good, wouldn't

14:39

look like she's just been sucking on

14:41

light barrier. She

14:43

looks like made her from

14:45

cars. No, what? Never mind.

14:47

White people reference. Oh, well

14:49

see, you would think she

14:51

smoked meth, but she smoked

14:53

crack. Like literally when she

14:55

first moved here, I had

14:57

never, now I've been pole

14:59

before with no dentists and

15:01

shit like that. But. We

15:03

only got 32 am I

15:05

right? I thought I was

15:07

28 but I'd have less

15:09

than that so well I

15:12

do too, but I'm like

15:14

how the fuck do you

15:16

go to the dimmy? Then

15:18

I was like I said

15:20

well that man just fucking

15:22

around then he tried to

15:24

clean the teeth and see

15:26

if it was good up

15:28

on it out He pulled

15:30

nie were pulling out he

15:32

pulled so many teeth you

15:34

thought he had did a

15:36

dry about her mouth in

15:38

that pain. That's so sad

15:40

18 teeth? Yeah, he put

15:42

them all out the back

15:44

of her Wilson tuba gun.

15:46

He put them all outside.

15:48

And so I said, then

15:50

they all stacked on top

15:52

of each other. Like those

15:54

Russian dolls? I was like,

15:56

how the fuck do you

15:58

get all your teeth pulled

16:00

out your mouth like that?

16:02

And so they cleaned them

16:04

and they fit, you know,

16:06

they were looking better, but

16:09

she... She allergic to two

16:11

brushes. She refused to fucking

16:13

brush her teeth. I ain't

16:15

never met a person that

16:17

don't like brushing their teeth.

16:19

Literally when she first got

16:21

here, I had to soak

16:23

her like you soaked beans

16:25

to swell up. You soaked

16:27

me to get the odor

16:29

of her. And it took

16:31

a month. I mean, it

16:33

got to the point where

16:35

I was spraying light salt

16:37

and for breeze on this

16:39

bitch. She sprayed poopery when

16:41

we walked in here today.

16:43

Yeah, well I didn't know

16:45

a pooporee was back then,

16:47

but I ought to put

16:49

it on that ass. It

16:51

was, I'm lying I killed.

16:53

I don't think anybody wants

16:55

to get involved in this

16:57

conference. Well, I'm telling you,

16:59

it would smell so bad.

17:01

I want to stick an

17:04

instant in her pussy. That's

17:06

a bad walk. And to

17:08

see her out there now

17:10

selling pussy, that pissed me

17:12

also bad. Because I'm like.

17:14

I don't have a problem

17:16

with you selling pussy. That's

17:18

your job. But you can't

17:20

bring me 20, 30 long.

17:22

I got four motherfucking kids

17:24

over here. I'm taking her.

17:26

I don't know if I'll

17:28

laugh. Laughter. Pussy pay. Because...

17:30

Why am I laughing, Dia?

17:32

And help me articulate the

17:34

feelings I'm having right now.

17:36

You said, I don't have

17:38

a problem with you selling

17:40

pussy. That's your job. But

17:42

give me 20 or 30

17:44

dollars. You don't want that

17:46

sticky money? You got it

17:48

on the card? This here

17:50

is my Tuesday 20. As

17:52

opposed to my Thursday 20.

17:54

You know, you can get

17:56

you a sandwich, but I

17:58

do have your fucking folk

18:01

kids. You can throw a

18:03

nigger $20, $30. So the

18:05

humans have 32 teeth. Okay,

18:07

she lost 18 in one

18:09

day, which gave her 14

18:11

teeth wet. Oh, ha. She

18:13

ain't got them on her

18:15

14 and she got something

18:17

up at the top of

18:19

her mouth, but he pulled

18:21

them all out of the

18:23

back because they was all

18:25

broke off and, oh, she

18:27

was having two, the bitch

18:29

had two things so bad

18:31

one time, look like somebody

18:33

beat on one side of

18:35

head. She looked like. that's

18:37

all I needed to like

18:39

to do something Dick all

18:41

the time. You know, I

18:43

would be a lazy prostitute,

18:45

but I'm like, look here,

18:47

I'm gonna just look at

18:49

you to satisfy yourself. I'm

18:51

tired. But, you know. You'd

18:53

be more in the S&M

18:56

game, I think. Yeah. The

18:58

fuck S&M, where you put

19:00

a ball in my mouth

19:02

and beat me? No, where

19:04

you're walking them along like

19:06

a dog or something. You

19:08

ain't got to have it,

19:10

they don't walk. I ain't

19:12

on beat nobody. You just

19:14

get the little. Can you

19:16

tell the cassette and say

19:18

I can beat you? Yeah.

19:20

Yeah. So if I beat

19:22

him to death? No. No,

19:24

I don't think you can

19:26

beat him to death, but.

19:28

Because you have to establish

19:30

safe words. What's the fucking

19:32

safe word? You're getting your

19:34

ad beat. Well, you say

19:36

the word and then that

19:38

person who's beating your ass

19:40

is supposed to stop. So

19:42

if you, if you, if

19:44

you. So my state, my

19:46

state, my state rule will

19:48

be. Because once you start

19:50

enjoying it, you're done. No.

19:53

If you're all, oh, that

19:55

sounded like I'm gonna keep

19:57

going. That's pretty rational. Yeah.

19:59

People who, I used to

20:01

see that on CSI. And

20:03

a lot of them old

20:05

sex people get killed in

20:07

them dungeons and shit, because

20:09

they don't put a ball

20:11

in their mouth and they

20:13

can't get the secret secret

20:15

word out and the niggin'

20:17

them beat them to death.

20:19

I used to watch that

20:21

on New York CSI and

20:23

shit. I was like, you

20:25

know what I think about

20:27

when I used to see

20:29

that shit on CSI? Now

20:31

black mama. Because if you

20:33

had a black mama, you

20:35

wouldn't pay another nigger to

20:37

whoop your motherfucker. Like damn,

20:39

white people, y'all got a

20:41

good, you go out and

20:43

pay for ass whoopins. We're

20:45

gonna take a break and

20:48

we'll be right back out

20:50

of this ass whooping. All

20:52

right, we're back from the

20:54

break. My bra is itching

20:56

like a set of mother

20:58

fucking crabs. Do you not

21:00

have that spray? There's an

21:02

anti-itch spray that you... Nah,

21:04

I ain't put that shit

21:06

in my head. I'm taking

21:08

these motherfuggen a-cuh. Excuse me

21:10

y'all. Sorry to bore you.

21:12

Nah. Fuck you going. Don't

21:14

she look high? I think

21:16

she do drugs. She has

21:18

so- You have so- You

21:20

know what she said that?

21:22

Because you think I don't

21:24

know what's so true me.

21:26

Bich I know what's- you

21:28

mean. That mean you look

21:30

like your eyes closing- Sultry

21:32

I know that would mean

21:34

no seducing eyes like sexy

21:36

eyes like come bet come

21:38

hither no you don't have

21:40

no fucking so trapped yeah

21:42

I'm sorry yeah I'm gonna

21:45

eat your eyes That shit

21:47

looks like three for a

21:49

dollar, sir. Looks like something

21:51

you'd get in the Cracker

21:53

Barrel Gift Store. That shit

21:55

is fucking a carnival bag.

21:57

I had one of those

21:59

when I was eight. I

22:01

know you're not talking look

22:03

like a whole channel out

22:05

this bitch. You don't want

22:07

to buy a finger. It

22:09

was like an elevator security

22:11

card with that badge. Free,

22:13

motherfuckle! They were like, if

22:15

you gonna get that $2

22:17

badge out of my face.

22:19

Remember that movie, National Security?

22:21

He's a new Martin Lawrence.

22:23

I'm so bad we had

22:25

to take the Paul Blurt

22:27

meme out down that we

22:29

made a hit. You mean

22:31

first of all my hands

22:33

ain't even gonna go over

22:35

on my bat like that?

22:37

That's why I stand out.

22:40

She just said that she

22:42

can't commit crimes because she

22:44

doesn't have the flexibility to

22:46

get her arms behind her

22:48

back. We can't let that

22:50

go by without acknowledging a

22:52

funny thing. He said he

22:54

could give her extended cuffs

22:56

like a fucking airline. He

22:58

said I'm gonna cuff these

23:00

cuffs to the cuffs. Go

23:02

home see your ug glad

23:04

children. Go home see your

23:06

ug glad children. They just

23:08

seen me on Face Time.

23:10

My grandbaby cousin too. He

23:12

woke up this morning, I

23:14

ain't pissed in the bed.

23:16

I'm like, if you can

23:18

say that, you can go

23:20

to the motherfung pot. Yeah.

23:22

He's an ain't pissy. He

23:24

doesn't. I always keep in

23:26

their hands. Why a little

23:28

boy keep their hands on

23:30

their dick? Because it feels

23:32

good. I still do it.

23:34

How about you. She'll be

23:37

keep on her head on

23:39

her dick too of being

23:41

a person. She wants to

23:43

call her my son. Does

23:45

she really? She gets to

23:47

the point where she's walking

23:49

around with a dead door

23:51

and a bep on there.

23:53

A what? A dead door

23:55

and a belt. A belt.

23:57

Belt. I was like, what's

23:59

a bit? So is this

24:01

one of those new fickle

24:03

sex toys I don't know

24:05

about? My niggas, he's choking

24:07

me. See, bro? With salt

24:09

your eyes. And her fucking

24:11

eyes ain't salt her. She

24:13

fucking can't see. Her vision

24:15

is literally blind. Bit you

24:17

ain't salt your eyes, because

24:19

you're blind. She's got those

24:21

sh- over it looks like

24:23

awnings over it. She got

24:25

blue coz, gakos, all kind

24:27

of she don't mind. Gako,

24:29

she got all kind of

24:32

bad eyesight. We are former.

24:34

She got she got salt

24:36

rise like I didn't know

24:38

what the fuck saltry was

24:40

gonna mean. I'm not saying

24:42

they got no fucking salt

24:44

rise. Was she was she

24:46

ever do the surgery? Is

24:48

she really going to mine?

24:50

I'm saying is that I

24:52

don't think she qualified for

24:54

it. I think she's so

24:56

blind that If you fuck

24:58

with her people you might

25:00

put them out Because I

25:02

just went I just went

25:04

and got new glasses. They

25:06

come in next week Yeah,

25:08

what do they look like

25:10

smaller than these it's smaller

25:12

a little bit just a

25:14

little bit there they don't

25:16

have these little side fucking

25:18

thing. No one cares. You'll

25:20

see them when they come

25:22

in How long you had

25:24

them glasses? Probably eight years.

25:26

My prescription didn't change much

25:29

though, so thank God. But

25:31

then you tell me you

25:33

had glucose on the eye?

25:35

She thinks I might have

25:37

glaucoma in my right eye.

25:39

What the fucking glucose? Ain't

25:41

that your sugar? Yeah, yeah,

25:43

yeah. Should I be taking

25:45

insulin? Yeah. And I'm stupid.

25:47

Well, I'll be dang. I

25:49

see why I get a

25:51

little stupid from them. It

25:53

ain't come from the dad

25:55

dad, case mom, dad. GPS!

25:57

GPS! GPS! GPS! GPS! GPS!

25:59

G-PS! My mom

26:02

said GPS

26:04

is 2.8 miles

26:06

on Burger King. Oh

26:09

no! What am I

26:11

saying? GPS! You

26:14

can't say

26:16

GPS! You can't

26:19

make this shit.

26:21

You can't make

26:24

this shit I'm

26:26

sorry. This is his GPS

26:28

was 2.8. You're right son, but

26:31

your GPA, your GPA, well 1.0.

26:33

I remember that, like yesterday.

26:35

He's like, you thought, at

26:37

graduation, you said, you thought

26:40

I wasn't gonna graduate. I said,

26:42

he went for one gonna keep

26:44

you a fuck up there

26:46

accreditation. It's like, no, we did.

26:49

It's like blue chips. Hell, you

26:51

get 200 points for spelling your

26:53

name, right. He ain't have a 1.0.

26:56

And they were being nice. It was

26:58

high than that. It was not high

27:00

than that, Nike. Nike. Your shit

27:02

was so low. They would want

27:04

to see you back to elementary

27:06

school at graduation. This GPS was,

27:08

please turn here. And it was

27:11

back to first grade. Back to

27:13

first grade. You got GPS. You

27:15

gonna shut your guy down.

27:17

Billy Madison back there. I got go

27:20

pee. We got to take a break out.

27:22

This shit here. Killing killing me.

27:26

All right, we're back from me

27:28

Pissin. Huh, well my son GPS

27:31

is 2.8. How the fuck is

27:33

this GPS? GPA 2.8 when Gary

27:35

Anna graduated with a 2.8 and

27:38

scholarships to go to college. No

27:40

way. No. Gary Anna is one

27:42

of the smartest people I've ever

27:45

met. So that tells you Nikeel

27:47

was, I only think he had

27:49

a GPA. It was just his

27:51

name. It was a GPS. It

27:53

was a GPS. Yeah. Tom Tom

27:55

Tom so let me let me

27:57

guess Gary Anna Garyana was taking

28:00

AP classes and he was

28:02

taking what cooking yeah cooking

28:04

right cookie he graduated all

28:07

cooking classes and that they

28:09

gave him cookie to help

28:11

him pull up his GPA

28:14

he still can't cook all

28:16

niggly do a put a

28:19

whole bunch of hot sauce

28:21

on shit this is all

28:23

toaster classes no you can't

28:26

cook you may mean can't

28:28

cook A little raggedy ass.

28:30

I'm just off of a

28:33

guerriana shoe, have you? I

28:35

won't be this big. God

28:38

dang. Fuck you with your

28:40

sister dick. Ash, come in

28:42

here and dick him damn.

28:45

And Mama too. A hero

28:47

was acting up. Push her

28:50

back in. I don't want

28:52

to do shit to me

28:54

crazy sum bitch. Y'all and

28:57

piss me the fuck off.

28:59

Take your ugly at home

29:01

to your ugly family. Can

29:04

I say him on you

29:06

too? I don't think anybody

29:09

wants a GPS. My geez

29:11

was two points. Did he

29:13

really say geez? He really

29:16

did. And he wasn't kidding.

29:18

Oh, that was fucking hilarious.

29:21

Thank you. He's go. He's

29:23

fucking dummy go. I

29:26

love you, but also, something,

29:28

who you vote for? Mama!

29:30

And this is a shit

29:32

Trumpy talking about, voter fraud,

29:34

these two mail-in higgas. He

29:37

was going to punch all

29:39

Democrats and I was just

29:41

doing one of the times

29:43

like niggles a bunch just

29:45

say select demo So son,

29:48

who you like? You even

29:50

know who running? You even

29:52

know who running? Yep. Who

29:54

running? I run back and

29:56

forth to work. Who's running?

29:58

I run back and forth

30:01

to work. Who's running for

30:03

president? Hello, hey, I'm podcasting.

30:05

What's up? Man, I was

30:07

trying to call you back.

30:09

What's up with you? What's

30:12

going on? Then we said

30:14

here doing a podcast. What

30:16

is that? A radio show.

30:18

It's like a radio show

30:20

I do. Oh, I thought

30:22

y'all was saying y'all were

30:25

doing pawing in the cat.

30:27

You thought I was about

30:29

to do what? I thought

30:31

you said you were pawing

30:33

in the cat. What the

30:36

fuck I look like pulling

30:38

in a cat, ain't? No,

30:40

no, no one, no one,

30:42

no one, no one, no

30:44

one, no one, no one,

30:46

no one pawn, no god

30:49

damn cats. I don't come

30:51

on a log cat, you

30:53

know, I thought you would

30:55

say pawing in the cat

30:57

or something, I don't know.

30:59

And don't nobody sell cats

31:02

at the pawn shop. I

31:04

mean the Siamese cat can

31:06

sell like a motherfug I

31:08

believe. Can't no Siamese cat

31:10

sell like a motherfugge? They're

31:13

not jealtions. How you, how

31:15

you doing? Shit, I'm doing,

31:17

you know, they're gonna let

31:19

people out of here, you

31:21

know, the BOP, like holding

31:23

people in, they don't want

31:26

to release nobody. Well, you're

31:28

in jail, you got a

31:30

lot of time, you know,

31:32

supposed to release. Well shit,

31:34

according to the Supreme Court,

31:37

just passed last week, with

31:39

no, a couple of days

31:41

ago, they got to. They

31:43

don't have a toy, they

31:45

got, you know, but you

31:47

just got the jail, you

31:50

just got there. Yeah, and

31:52

I need to just get

31:54

up too. I don't care

31:56

if I can't be a

31:58

two hour later. I want

32:01

out in three hours. Don't

32:03

you got about eight years?

32:05

Don't you got about eight

32:07

years? Don't you got some

32:09

time? No, I got about

32:11

five more to do, but

32:14

according to the BOP, I

32:16

should be getting out with,

32:18

well, according to the Care

32:20

Act, I should be getting

32:22

out. Well I don't know,

32:25

y'all ain't locked up, so

32:27

y'all don't be, y'all don't

32:29

be on that, y'all don't

32:31

free shit, y'all ain't thinking

32:33

about nobody who's locked up.

32:35

I don't know about no

32:38

care. Is that Medicaid? Yeah,

32:40

no. Metal shit. Medicaid. Shit,

32:42

they don't even want to

32:44

get a person that. Don't

32:46

you get a healthcare, why

32:48

you know? It's bad. with

32:51

the COVID-19. You know, you

32:53

got a lot of inmates

32:55

dying down here, you know,

32:57

dying all over the years.

32:59

This college from a federal

33:02

prison. We don't want to

33:04

release no damn body, so.

33:06

Well, I hope they release

33:08

you. We miss you. You

33:10

ain't even going, you been

33:12

going to here yet? Yeah,

33:15

I've been going on most

33:17

two years. Oh, tell everybody,

33:19

hey, you on my podcast.

33:24

I figured I'd put

33:26

you on the park

33:28

as you can get

33:30

shit else to do.

33:32

Shit I ain't got

33:34

shit up dude. I'm

33:36

tired of eating the

33:38

fucking macaroni and shit

33:40

they'd be selling. Get

33:42

a niggler butter and

33:44

jelly sandwich and that'd

33:46

be selling. Get a

33:49

niggin' up eating a

33:51

peanut butter and jelly

33:53

sandwich. I don't know.

33:55

You shouldn't commit it.

33:57

The crime man. on

33:59

me. She could

34:01

have, she could have picked a

34:03

nug that looked like me. She

34:06

has to kill on the nugget

34:08

who sold her the gun. Don't

34:11

tell him why you ain't know,

34:13

don't tell him why. You know,

34:15

it's just amazing how, you know,

34:18

I just, you know, I just

34:20

wish I could have talked to

34:22

her and I would let at

34:25

least say shit. You know, tell

34:27

somebody that it wasn't me and

34:30

it was a nugger that looked

34:32

like me. You know, I probably

34:34

got been home by now. Well,

34:37

we'll be glad when you get

34:39

home. Yeah, I ain't had my

34:42

brakes change yet. I mean, now

34:44

kids, you need to hear him,

34:46

come on, he needed brakes change.

34:49

Shit, man, I'm gonna need some,

34:51

I'm gonna need more than 40

34:53

and 50 dollars, when I don't

34:56

do some damn brakes when I

34:58

get up about here, because I

35:01

ain't got no damn money as

35:03

it is. I think when you

35:05

get out of jail, they're gonna

35:08

just selling them cars. You don't

35:10

want a food truck or something,

35:12

then just get me a little

35:15

car lot to see them. That's

35:17

why I really want to. He's

35:20

a food truck. One, I can't

35:22

be no comedian, I ain't funny

35:24

shit. So- Oh, you can't cook

35:27

either. No, shit, I can have

35:29

somebody to cook for me. I

35:32

ain't got to cook. I don't

35:34

know what the fuck is, what

35:36

is that? What is it, radio

35:39

show I do it for you?

35:41

How can you laugh at that

35:43

deal? Big dreams. Well, that's my

35:46

co-host. You don't took any shit

35:48

out of it. What's some fun?

35:51

I don't know what the fuck

35:53

is. It's a pop cat. There's

35:55

a pop cat. There's a pop

35:58

cat. But That

36:00

kind of new on

36:02

me, so, you know.

36:04

But other than that,

36:06

you know, you know,

36:09

you know, I hope

36:11

y'all are safe, but

36:13

I hope y'all are

36:15

20 feet apart. That's

36:17

a 6 feet apart.

36:19

You what? I said,

36:21

I hope y'all is

36:24

20 feet apart, not

36:26

6 feet apart, because

36:28

that's 6 feet apart,

36:30

that's doing shit for

36:32

us. Well, well, we,

36:34

well, you stay safe.

36:36

Your roommate ain't got

36:39

no coronavirus, dude. the

36:41

dorms somewhere and bring

36:43

your ass right back.

36:45

That's it. That's all

36:47

you do. Okay, they

36:49

give you a little

36:51

food, you know, but

36:54

you know, having that

36:56

stuff all like, you

36:58

know, you know, eating

37:00

up alone and that

37:02

being cut from a

37:04

big home, you look

37:06

like, oh, you know.

37:09

Okay, hold on one

37:11

second. I gotta take

37:13

a break, hold on

37:15

one second. You got

37:17

any white people and

37:19

stand messages on them?

37:21

No, just one white

37:24

boy, he's named, like,

37:26

Ru Paul. The

37:29

fuck wrong with you. He

37:31

white is false. Okay. They're

37:33

not trying to suck your

37:35

dick down age. No, I

37:37

don't do all that gase

37:39

yet. Okay, I don't make

37:41

sure your dick don't get

37:43

sucked. No, I don't do

37:45

all that gase, you know.

37:47

I ain't gonna go out

37:49

like that before I go

37:51

out like that. I suck

37:53

my own dick. Hang up

37:55

the god damn phone. I

37:57

don't want to hear no

37:59

more. What

38:02

you saying? What you saying?

38:04

What you saying? My thing,

38:06

what the hell I'm gonna

38:08

let a man sell my

38:10

dick for when I'm a

38:12

man myself. I can sell

38:14

my bag. What kind of

38:16

logic is it? Okay, call

38:18

me back. Call me back

38:20

in a couple of hours.

38:22

I'm about the any podcast.

38:24

I love you. But, I

38:26

told him of a funny

38:28

as hell. I

38:32

hate y'all. I quit. This is my

38:34

last mother fucking episode. I can't breathe.

38:37

I hate you. That n'c. said I

38:39

want to be a food truck supervisor.

38:41

He didn't want to, he won't, he

38:43

can't, but he just wants to pass

38:46

me. He said I'm tired of that

38:48

baloney, and macaroni is cheap. I'm going

38:50

to be a food truck and do

38:53

some brakes when I get this. below

38:55

it straight off the hook what he

38:57

said. Y'all that's my brother in federal

38:59

prison. I told him I said come

39:02

and put your ass on my park.

39:04

She said he looked like me. He

39:06

said you look like Ru Poy. He

39:08

said you sound like Ru Poy. He

39:11

said you sound like Ru Poy. S.

39:13

Suck my own dick. I'll go out

39:15

like that. What? What is that even

39:18

mean, sir? Go out like what? Oh

39:20

wow! All right, well we got a-

39:22

You cannot supervise a food truck if

39:24

you suck in your own dick! The

39:27

taste buds gonna be all-fucked up! Oh,

39:29

we got enough salt in this. We

39:31

got a- we got a wrap-up, Ms.

39:33

Bob, because I got a- I can't

39:36

breathe. Y'all ain't gonna get these kind

39:38

of real lads from no other punk

39:40

ass out there. Thank y' y'all so

39:43

much for tuning in to another episode

39:45

of the pack down. Make-down. Make sure

39:47

you check out my-down. website at miss

39:49

pack.com for all of

39:52

my social media, my

39:54

tour dates, my my

39:56

book Make sure you

39:58

spread the word

40:01

about my about my Please

40:03

rate and review.

40:05

Please rate and review

40:08

and share. Thank

40:10

y 'all so much

40:12

y 'all. I've been y'all

40:14

I've been miss pat