0:01

We are so excited to share with

0:03

you the first full episode of If

0:05

Memory Serves a Juno Steel Mystery. As

0:08

a reminder, this is the only episode that will

0:10

be posted to the public feed. All

0:12

subsequent episodes will be released

0:15

on the Penumbra Podcast Special

0:17

Edition over at thepenumbrapodcast.supercast.com. If

0:20

you are able to support us, we hope you

0:23

do, as your pledges will enable us to continue

0:25

production on the audiobook and

0:27

also fund our next fully cast and

0:29

sound designed audio drama, Thirst.

0:32

We can't do it without you. Enjoy the

0:34

episode. Hello

0:36

everybody, thank you so, so, so much

0:38

for supporting us as we produce this

0:40

early release of the audiobook for If

0:42

Memory Serves a Juno Steel Mystery. This

0:45

is a new kind of story for

0:47

Juno Steel in a new format. We're

0:49

so excited to bring it to you.

0:51

You can find trigger warnings in the

0:53

transcript in the episode description, but I

0:55

wanted to highlight one trigger warning in

0:57

particular before we dive into the story.

1:00

If Memory Serves deals extensively with self-harm and

1:03

suicide, if either of these are significant triggers

1:05

for you, then the early access experience of

1:07

this audiobook may not be the best choice

1:09

for you. You might want to wait until

1:12

some other people feel it, people that you

1:14

trust, whose opinions you trust, who can tell

1:16

you what to expect. We

1:18

have worked really hard to

1:20

handle these themes and experiences

1:22

in thought-provoking but considerate ways,

1:25

but just because we're attempting to be tactful does

1:28

not mean that our characters universally are at all

1:30

times, so you might want to tread carefully. All

1:32

that said, brand new adventure for Juno,

1:34

we hope you'll love it. This is a different

1:36

Juno Steel who's going through a lot, so enjoy.

1:42

If Memory Serves, a Juno Steel mystery,

1:44

was written by Kevin Vybert and Harley

1:46

Takagi Kehner. Part

2:00

1. Looking

2:28

inside the Hyperion City branch of

2:31

Post-Away Limited, you might think

2:33

that everybody who worked there had just up

2:35

and vanished. In the

2:37

office, there still stand cubicles. Their

2:40

desks and chairs now covered in dust, the

2:42

monitors flashing on every year or two to

2:45

perform scheduled self-maintenance before dozing off

2:48

again. Every third

2:50

cubicle or so, you find a mug with

2:52

the faded image of a cartoon villain from

2:54

chainmail warrior Andromeda, a dead roach

2:56

floating lazily on the pond scum remains

2:58

of coffee inside. There

3:01

are still files, moldering in the cabinets. A

3:04

forgotten hologrammer projects a never-ending slideshow of

3:06

smiling children into the dust on an

3:09

abandoned desk. An ancient

3:11

box of sweet thang donuts sits open

3:13

in the kitchenette, its contents nibbled by

3:15

small and highly radioactive mandibles but still

3:18

preserved as fresh as the day they

3:20

were bought nearly six years ago. Miracles

3:23

of modern science. Speaking

3:26

of which, saying that the

3:28

building is abandoned isn't the same

3:30

thing as saying it's lifeless, depending

3:33

on your definition of life, that is. Even

3:36

in that second floor office, you

3:38

can feel the things moving beneath you. The

3:41

floor pulses like a heartbeat, like you're standing

3:44

on the chest of something huge, which,

3:47

in a way, you are. back

4:00

in two hours, huff about

4:02

customer service these days, and then drop their

4:04

package down the chute next to the desk

4:06

that leads to the basement. Is

4:09

the package stamped properly? Were

4:11

all the fees paid? Have all

4:13

the forms been attached? The customer doesn't know.

4:16

But it's not like they're going to wait two hours to find out.

4:19

Let the post office sort it out, they think. So

4:23

it does. If you follow

4:25

that chute down into the basement, down to

4:27

where the building's heartbeat booms, you'll

4:29

see it's not just a heart. It's

4:32

a city. Or

4:34

an ecosystem. Or a sprawling

4:37

organism. Because they're all really

4:39

the same thing at different scales. It

4:42

looks like this. Thousands

4:44

of machines, monitors, automated

4:47

comms call devices, repair

4:49

bots, and repair bots for the

4:51

repair bots skitter and slide across

4:53

that sprawling basement. They

4:56

do their work busily. Sorting letters,

4:58

putting boxes into self-driving trucks,

5:00

self-driving mail to homes, repairing

5:02

and fueling and supporting one

5:05

another. None of them

5:07

truly think, obviously. History's

5:10

full of crackpots saying the first real AI is right around

5:12

the corner, but it turns out consciousness

5:14

is kind of complicated. But

5:16

they get close. They

5:18

act. They adapt. They fulfill

5:21

their tasks and find more efficient

5:23

ways to fulfill their tasks. And

5:26

they have no idea that they're doing any of it. Almost

5:30

nobody else had any idea they were doing it either.

5:33

The building only had one

5:35

employee. One single

5:38

person who still punched in every morning

5:40

and punched out every afternoon. Ronald

5:43

Bass, the experimental

5:46

bomb checker. Life

5:48

had been vicious to Ronald's bass. You

5:50

could tell just by looking at him. He

5:53

was well groomed, sure. Always clean

5:55

shaven, usually smiling. But

5:58

the fact remained that he was a young man. with no

6:00

physical scars or cybernetic limbs, yet

6:03

he always wore the four-ringed badge of

6:05

a solar veteran on his chest. And

6:09

you don't get out of the solar military

6:11

by asking nicely. Once

6:13

you're enlisted, they own you for life,

6:15

or until you turn 50, whichever comes

6:18

first. Theoretically, your

6:20

contract can be nullified when the Galactic

6:22

Civil War ends, but humanity's

6:24

been waiting for that day 200 years,

6:27

and nobody really thinks it's coming anytime soon.

6:31

The only other way you could be

6:33

relieved of duty is if you were

6:35

determined by committee to be no longer

6:37

mentally fit for combat. So

6:40

you could look at Ronald, see that

6:43

physically he was A-plus soldier material, and

6:46

that meant whatever he'd been through had

6:48

really been hell. I

6:51

never found all the details, but then, neither

6:54

did he. His short-term and long-term

6:56

memory were in pieces. And

6:59

that was on top of his persistent,

7:01

screaming back pain, his night terrors, his

7:04

day terrors. His

7:06

name wasn't even Ronald Bass, but nobody knew

7:08

what it really was, although

7:10

they could narrow it down to a list of 30. He

7:14

was the only surviving member of infantry unit

7:17

2790B, a unit hit by

7:20

a chemical attack, the details of which

7:22

were an unsolved military mystery that ended

7:24

in the entire unit's dog tags in

7:26

a pile on one side of a

7:28

Hanumanian field and the unit's bodies, plus

7:30

Ronald, on the other. Nobody

7:33

could identify him. When he

7:35

was returned to Hyperion City, nobody claimed

7:37

him. So the

7:39

solar military gave him a name

7:42

at random and supported him on

7:44

pension until the day they discovered

7:46

he'd started taking experimental high-strength opioids

7:48

for the constant, crippling pain their

7:50

pension couldn't afford to treat. Then

7:53

they cut him off. So

7:57

he started working at Postaway. For

8:00

years, he was the only human being down there. The

8:03

only human resident of a completely clockwork

8:05

city. Must

8:07

have been lonely. But

8:09

hell, above ground, where people looked at

8:11

his badge guiltily, where all eyes avoided

8:14

his, as if in his pupils

8:16

they might see a piece of the nightmare that

8:18

had cracked his mind and sent him home. That

8:22

must have been lonely too. I've

8:24

got nothing but sympathy for Ronald, is what I'm trying

8:26

to say. Despite the fact that

8:28

he was about to make the next few months of my life a living

8:30

hell. I didn't know

8:32

a damn thing about him when all this started though. That's

8:36

the one hard thing about solving people's problems,

8:38

actually. People.

8:41

They don't sit still. While

8:43

you're distracted by the woman right in front of

8:45

you breaking your nose into a million pieces, you

8:47

should really be worried about the person across town

8:50

playing gas whale songs to a group of anxious

8:52

war vets and teaching them how to breathe. For

8:55

me, this whole mess started

8:57

with a single incredibly stupid mistake. I

9:00

checked my mail. When

9:07

you're as unpopular as I am, checking

9:09

your mail is a dangerous proposition. Opening

9:12

big, bright pink boxes that have clearly

9:14

been tampered with borders on death wish.

9:18

I did it anyway. To

9:20

be fair, I did take the

9:22

necessary precautions first. Rita,

9:24

I called through the door. I'm going to need you to step

9:26

out of the office for a few minutes. We

9:28

argued about that for a little bit. Why do I

9:30

gotta leave? To get something. To get what?

9:33

I'm not sure, but you'll know when you see it. Until eventually,

9:35

I heard the door slam, and

9:37

I knew I was free to blow myself to pieces in

9:40

private. But

9:42

the box didn't explode. Because

9:45

this isn't a ghost story. Except

9:47

in all the ways that any story about the loose

9:49

ends people leave behind is a ghost story. When

9:52

I decided what I was seeing inside the box

9:55

didn't make any sense, I

9:57

looked in it again. Then

9:59

I closed it. opened it, looked

10:01

again, and when that didn't do anything, I

10:04

decided it was probably time to read the letter that

10:06

had come with the box, the one

10:08

that said, read this first in

10:10

big letters across the envelope. I

10:13

don't like being told what to do. Juno,

10:16

my cover's been blown and I don't have time to catch

10:18

you up on everything. I know you

10:21

don't like being told what to do, but I

10:23

need you to follow these directions exactly, just like

10:25

when we were kids. Shut up. Think. Act.

10:29

The sharp angled handwriting was enough to make my stomach

10:31

do flips. Those last four

10:33

words signed the rest of my guts up for gymnastics, too.

10:37

I gave the package once over for

10:39

any other heart attacks, but there was nothing

10:41

on that box besides a shipping label

10:43

from a place called Post Away Limited and

10:45

a whole lot of really intense pink.

10:50

Then I called through the door again to make sure Rita was gone,

10:52

and when I was sure, I took two ice

10:54

blue tablets out of my filing cabinet. I

10:56

felt bad hiding my Nemezine in there because

10:58

Rita had bought me that filing cabinet, along

11:01

with this office and this entire

11:03

second chance at life, and I knew

11:05

she didn't like when I took the pills. She'd

11:08

been my secretary back in my cop days and dragged

11:10

me to this PI gig like I was a stray

11:12

kitten she'd rescued from a storm drain. And

11:15

the one time she caught me tripping down

11:17

memory lane, she said, Come on, Mr. Steele,

11:19

that mem-mem-mem-mem-nessine stuff is dangerous. It's for sad

11:21

old people who ain't got nothing to live

11:24

for. You're sad young

11:26

people, Buzz! We got a

11:28

business to build. Cases dissolve! You

11:30

got plenty to live for, so you can't just stay

11:32

stuck in the past all the time. I

11:34

should probably mention that she was crying when she said all

11:37

that. A lot. And

11:39

I did promise her I'd never take the Nemezine

11:41

again. So. But,

11:45

come on. If you'd lost as much as I

11:47

had in one week, if you'd gone from the

11:49

youngest police captain in the history of Mars to

11:52

washed up nobody with big debts and a bigger

11:54

pile of wedding invitations to shred, then

11:56

you'd need a little help, too. So,

12:00

I took the Nemezine, picked up the

12:02

letter again, and enjoyed some light reading while I

12:04

waited for the pass to catch up with me.

12:08

The contents of this box are vital. They

12:10

took me months of undercover work, completely off the

12:12

books, but I know I found something really big

12:14

here. That's why you're getting

12:16

this box. You cannot bring it to

12:18

the HCPD. There are definitely cops in

12:20

on this. The people behind it

12:23

have connections everywhere. I don't know how far, but

12:25

as soon as I started, I could tell that

12:27

this went deep. I followed

12:29

one route, thinking I was investigating a tree.

12:31

Now I'm here and I can tell it's

12:33

a forest. This is huge.

12:36

So this stays in your apartment until I come pick

12:38

it up. Understood? There's only

12:41

one box, and it's in your

12:43

hands now. Do not give it

12:45

to anyone, unless they know my name, and

12:47

my sister's name, and know to say

12:49

both. The contents of

12:52

this package are dangerous. Keeping them

12:54

safe is the most important thing I've asked you to do,

12:56

Juno. Don't let it out of

12:58

your sight. Shut up,

13:00

think, then act. I'll

13:03

see you soon. Sasha

13:05

Wire. Don't

13:08

let it out of your sight, I read out loud. I

13:11

looked back inside the box. It

13:14

was empty. I

13:20

looked up from the letter to see my office folding

13:22

in on itself. My

13:24

crusty carpet and cigarette-colored window dripped

13:26

away like wet paint, and

13:28

underneath them lay a different office. Brighter

13:32

and whiter than mine. The

13:34

view outside twisted green smoke into green

13:36

bushes, and hovering benches

13:38

and kids in trainee uniforms far

13:40

below. The air traded

13:43

the stink of dead rats for the

13:45

stink of flowers, and once

13:47

my office had been completely replaced

13:49

by the Hyperion City Police Academy's

13:51

meeting room, the huge filing cabinet

13:53

beside me pinched inward, frayed its

13:55

top into black tin fringes, painted

13:57

itself in skin and heat and

14:00

breath. and finally opened

14:02

its eyes. I can't believe I let

14:04

you talk me into this. Sasha Wire said, I

14:06

had never gotten the knack for controlling which memory

14:09

the Nemezine brings me back to. The

14:11

present always leaves its thumbprint on what part of the

14:13

past I get to see. Usually

14:16

that paid off pretty well because usually I was

14:18

thinking about the happier life I'd demolished a few

14:20

months ago. But this memory,

14:23

this one, I didn't want right now. What

14:25

did you think this would accomplish exactly? Sasha

14:28

said. Sneaking into the flight control tower for

14:30

target practice? You idiot. Come on, you make

14:32

it sound like I was shooting at a

14:34

bunch of cop cruisers mid-flight, I said. But

14:37

I only shot at one. And

14:39

that was to see how good the range on my blaster

14:41

was. And sure, the ricochet went a little wild and that

14:43

bird probably didn't like it, but she

14:46

tried to slump back into her seat. But

14:48

Sasha never was the champion slumber I am. She

14:51

was too poised and too pointy. The

14:54

best she could manage was to cross her

14:56

arms and let her oiled crow hair curtain

14:58

her eyes. Everything

15:00

with Sasha always felt like a performance because for

15:02

the most part, it was. She'd

15:05

grown up with just as much nothing as I had in

15:08

the same dirt-poor man-eating district I did. But

15:11

she always felt like if she acted like

15:13

a rich kid who knew everything, she might

15:15

go into a cocoon and become a rich

15:18

kid who knew everything. You idiot.

15:20

She said again. My

15:22

past self sighed. Look,

15:24

you agreed to it, I said. Me

15:27

idiot too, then. And it was for a

15:29

good reason. I think, I

15:32

said, my voice squeaking with teenage

15:34

righteousness. We are the best choices

15:36

for that stakeout job and we know it. The

15:38

fact that we don't have our badges yet is like a technicality,

15:42

right? Nobody can plant

15:44

a shot like me. Puck is going to

15:46

kill us. Sasha said. Diamond might even kill

15:48

us. She was always the sweet, innocent one.

15:51

And now I have to watch her kill

15:53

us. Wonderful. And nobody knows more about every

15:55

detail of this city than you do, I

15:57

said. What are we going to

15:59

do? Just let me know. Let some old should-be

16:01

retirees sleep through a drug bust? I hear this

16:04

new thing there, Hawkins is huge and- We

16:06

broke the law on a campus

16:09

for police officers. Yeah,

16:11

well, I bet they've never seen a job proposal like

16:13

that before, I said. Sasha

16:16

turned on me then and her eyes tore right into

16:18

my gut. Her

16:20

glare had talons, and she

16:22

could use them to rip you to pieces or

16:24

drag you, kicking and screaming into the sky with

16:26

her. I'd have been a half-picked

16:28

carcass on the ground without her. So

16:30

when she spoke, I listened.

16:34

Shut up, think, then

16:36

act. She said, like she'd said

16:38

a thousand other times. Like she'd said since

16:40

the first time my mother threw me out

16:42

on my ear. And all I wanted to

16:45

do was storm back and break her goddamn

16:47

nose. We can't be dismissed from this program,

16:49

all right? This is our last chance,

16:52

both of us. We can't keep acting like kids

16:54

goofing around on the street with Mick anymore. And

16:56

I'm not going to let us mess this up,

16:58

all right? I'm not. Right, I

17:01

said. So we need a plan, something

17:04

to smooth this over. She said. Her

17:07

eyes clicked back and forth. Like

17:09

she could see the plan in front of her,

17:11

could connect its pieces with her pupils. Then

17:14

she said. If it's one of our instructors, I'll do the

17:16

talking. If it's someone from the firing range, I

17:19

don't know. Talk to them about what gun is the sexiest

17:21

until I come up with something better. Is that really

17:23

what you think we talk about? Her

17:26

eyes snapped to a stop. But if

17:28

it's Captain Hijikata, that's it.

17:30

We're finished. Finished with what? Then

17:34

Captain Hijikata came in the door,

17:36

all long, loose limbs and short,

17:39

tight hair. And I

17:41

knew this Nemezin trip was going to be a bad one. There's

17:44

really no coming back from a trip where you have to

17:46

see the woman who made you ruin your life. No,

17:50

that's not fair. She

17:52

didn't make me do anything. I

17:54

walked into that evidence locker myself. Loss

17:58

just goes down smoother when you have it. someone to blame it

18:00

on. I tried not to

18:02

look at Hijacata, but I remembered her so well that

18:05

it didn't make a difference. The

18:07

gold and silver hair, the easy

18:09

hand gestures, the wide-legged posture that

18:11

owned whatever room she stood in.

18:15

She was so easy to trust back then. So

18:18

reassuring. Oh, Steele.

18:21

She said. Right. I forgot we called

18:23

you in here. That stunt you

18:25

pulled in the control tower. Don't

18:27

do it again, all right? Uh, yes,

18:30

Captain. And Diamond said to

18:32

call her when you get the chance. Don't leave my

18:34

little girl waiting. Hijacata

18:36

smiled at me. And it was the

18:39

kind of smile that made you really aware

18:41

that human beings have way too many teeth.

18:44

Back when I relied on her, that smile

18:46

had been reassuring. Like no matter

18:48

what threat came your way, she could laugh it off and

18:50

you'd be safe. Then

18:53

Hijacata looked at Sasha over her shoulder and said.

18:56

Sasha, mind coming with me for

18:58

a minute. Someone wants to see

19:00

you. Sasha nodded. Like she'd

19:02

always known this would happen. Because

19:05

Sasha Weyer never showed any sign of

19:07

being unprepared for any reason. It

19:11

always gave me the impression that she

19:13

was immortal, eternal. That the day

19:15

before the apocalypse happened, she'd show up at my

19:18

door with a canteen and some fake IDs and

19:20

we'd be gone before the first explosion started. It

19:23

didn't shake out that way though. Because here's

19:25

the other reason receiving a package from Sasha

19:27

that day turned my blood to slush. This

19:30

memory was the last

19:33

time I ever saw her alive. Sasha

19:37

Weyer had been dead

19:39

for four years. Yes,

19:43

Captain. She said. And while

19:45

she walked away, I was screaming at myself to

19:47

stop everything and asked her who that person was.

19:50

If this meeting was what sealed her fate, if there

19:52

was anything I could have done to stop this from

19:54

happening. But memories

19:56

and nemesine don't work that way. So

19:59

I just watched as she turned to me for one

20:01

last time and said, Oh wow, Mr.

20:03

Steele, you ain't ever gonna believe what I found. I did

20:06

it just like you said and I found her and my

20:08

god, boss, are you dead? Three.

20:15

The Nemezin wasn't usually that coherent. Usually

20:19

it was much more like what came next. A

20:22

halfway place between the past and present,

20:24

each shedding shadows of itself like a

20:26

snake with a skin condition. A

20:29

real mess is what I'm saying. Boss? What's

20:31

the matter? Sasha said, until her hard

20:33

face sloughed to the floor in applesauce

20:35

chunks and Rita's soft one looked out

20:37

at me. You look like, no.

20:41

She rushed over to me, her short

20:43

legs stumbling across patches of shining academy

20:46

and dust crusted off his floor. I

20:49

could smell all 18 species of junk food on

20:51

her breath. She looked into my eyes so closely.

20:53

Boss, what did you do? It's the Nemezin

20:56

again, ain't it? I told you that stuff's

20:58

dangerous. Besides, you promised. Only thing dangerous here

21:00

is the headache you're giving me, I mumbled. I'll

21:03

sleep it off. I'll be fine. You

21:05

can't sleep it off, Mr. Steele. Rita said. I found her.

21:08

I found the person you told me to go looking for.

21:11

The Nemezin threw a hammer through my wall and

21:13

for a second I saw Sasha Wire in my

21:15

waiting room, adjusting her uniform.

21:18

Then doing her homework before school, then pulling

21:20

me out of a gutter with that sharp,

21:22

disappointed look in her eyes. A

21:25

client. Rita said. I found a client who

21:27

was looking for you, boss. She has a daughter. Or had

21:29

a daughter because now she's dead. Or is that still has

21:31

a daughter? I'm not sure how that works, but that's not

21:33

the point. It's the way she died. It's- What

21:36

Rita said next didn't make any sense. So

21:38

I chose to believe it was another hallucination. I

21:41

fumbled my hands across my face and my

21:43

shirt like they could smooth out the stains

21:45

and sleeplessness if they just worked quick enough.

21:48

And then I asked her to repeat herself. Rita

21:51

looked me up and down quickly but carefully.

21:55

She adjusted my collar and buttoned my shirt and then

21:57

slapped me a few times to scare the grave out

21:59

of my face. out of my cheeks, and also

22:01

probably because I deserved it. And

22:04

then she said, It's death's cross in, boss. Her

22:07

daughter died just like all those other people years ago,

22:09

just like your friend Sasha killed

22:11

herself. The

22:14

flickering image of a street corner at night, empty

22:18

with mothy light spilling in from lamp post

22:20

just off camera. A moment

22:22

passes. Then into

22:24

that light steps a woman, tall,

22:26

dark hair, dark look in her eyes. Her

22:29

arm hangs slack. The gun

22:31

looks heavy in her hand, like it might drag

22:34

her to the ground and keep going straight through.

22:36

She traces an arc until a blaster's barrel

22:39

presses against her temple. Her

22:41

lips move slowly so I can almost read

22:43

the words, something, something,

22:45

me. Not useful. Is

22:48

a suicide ever about anyone else? And

22:50

if there's more than that, I'll never see it. A

22:53

truck passes by, casts her in shadow for

22:55

just a moment. And in

22:57

that moment, she pulls the

22:59

trigger. A flash

23:02

of violet light, a burning

23:04

circle on her head, singed and crackling.

23:07

And Sybil Shale or Sasha Wire or

23:09

any of the other 32 poor

23:11

suckers who died exactly this way

23:14

on exactly this street corner, drifts

23:17

slow as snowfall to the ground.

23:23

Would you like to watch it again? The client said. I

23:27

gave myself a minute and looked out the window. A

23:31

jagged skyline of high scrapers and

23:33

apartment complexes and stacked up restaurants

23:35

carved the horizon in two. Above,

23:38

the dome shimmered and shivered

23:40

against the Martian sandstorm, which

23:42

wasn't reassuring, but hell, it

23:45

looked pretty. At

23:48

night, when the smoke spilling out of the

23:50

plastics refinery parted, you could sometimes convince yourself

23:52

you saw Earth in the distance. Clean

23:55

and sweet as a blueberry and cream.

23:58

You couldn't actually see. Earth, of course.

24:01

With all the smog in this district, you're lucky

24:04

if you can see the sun, but the Earth

24:06

Tours billboard floating over uptown is still nice for

24:08

what it is. And sometimes,

24:11

when the fantasy looks good enough, you

24:13

can teach yourself to forget the real thing. So

24:17

which one was this? Reality or

24:20

fantasy? I couldn't believe

24:22

I was asking myself that question again.

24:24

And about nearly the exact same goddamn

24:26

video as last time. If

24:28

you didn't count the traffic, the weather, the

24:30

time of day, this could have been a

24:32

shot-for-shot remake for Sasha's suicide footage. I

24:35

think I'll pass, Ms. Shale, I

24:38

said. Never been big on reruns.

24:41

Her expression didn't change an inch, and

24:44

I knew what that meant. When

24:46

you work on homicides as much as I did in my cop

24:48

days, you figure out there are

24:50

only a couple different ways people react

24:53

when family dies. You got the

24:55

whalers, you got the there must

24:57

be some mistakers, and you get

24:59

the brawlers. I was always good with them. But

25:03

Zara Shale wasn't any of those. She

25:06

was a preparer. Zara

25:08

hadn't shown up with tears or brass

25:10

knuckles. She'd come to my

25:12

office with a binder. A big

25:14

one, tabbed and bookmarked a thousand times.

25:17

Endless notes on the case. All

25:20

the detectives that had touched it, a full map

25:22

of Hyperion City with exes drawn at all the

25:24

stores where Sybil Shale could have bought the laser

25:26

pistol that did her in. Zara

25:29

was ready for a war. Meanwhile,

25:31

I was ready for a few shots of tequila and

25:33

a 14-hour nap. The Nemezin was

25:35

wearing thin and living in two moments at the same time

25:37

really takes it out of you. So

25:41

you're trying to tell me your daughter

25:43

didn't kill herself, I said. I

25:46

am. Because, correct me

25:48

if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you and

25:50

I just watched a video of your daughter- Shooting

25:53

herself in the head, yes. Mrs.

25:55

Shale said, when I couldn't. I

25:58

know what this looks like. told

26:00

by the police. I've been told by my attorney I

26:02

was told, in court by the

26:04

judge themself that any lawyer who agreed to

26:06

take my case was conning me and that

26:09

they hoped to see him in the defendant's

26:11

seat shortly. I know what this looks like.

26:15

And I know that it is not that." She

26:18

paused and looked me over like I was the

26:20

last deli slice from the back of the fridge,

26:22

wondering if those green spots were mold or peppercorns,

26:24

wondering if they could be cut off or ignored.

26:27

I'm hoping you're the same, not

26:30

what you appear to be, because at

26:32

the moment you don't seem like much. She

26:36

hadn't snapped, but she'd nipped anyway.

26:39

I was getting somewhere. That where you

26:41

got the hard copy of this footage from, I asked. Your

26:44

attorney? Maybe while he wasn't

26:46

looking? Zara

26:49

stared into me, the cold, rough

26:51

cut lines in her face still. It's

26:53

more secure with me, she said, voice

26:55

cool and steady as stone. If

26:58

you read the news, you'd know that the DA's office was broken

27:00

into just last week. Had to hand it to

27:02

her. She took a felony accusation

27:04

well. To prevent evidence

27:06

tampering, each side of an investigation is

27:08

given a hard copy of any security

27:10

division footage related to a crime. The

27:13

hard copy is protected because it's secure.

27:16

Unlinked to HCPD servers can't be

27:19

duplicated or modified, can't be

27:21

destroyed unless you really really want to. And

27:24

nobody but the lawyers was ever supposed to have

27:26

them. I wasn't sure what Zara

27:28

Shale had pulled to get this. But

27:31

it made me like her more. Stout

27:33

with thick forearms and calloused

27:35

hands, she looked tough mom,

27:37

not tough crook. She

27:40

was ready to do anything for Sybil, even

27:42

if she'd died two months ago. Ready

27:45

to do anything except put up with

27:47

my questions, anyway. She

27:49

opened that massive binder of hers again and said,

27:52

The HCPD has told me uniformly that they do

27:54

not believe me and you have a very public

27:56

history of disagreeing with them. A

27:58

lot of people, a lot of neighbors and friends,

28:01

all scraped together to afford you,

28:03

Mr. Steele. I will

28:05

not be leaving this room until you've taken my case." She

28:08

didn't look at me when she spoke, just

28:10

at the pages of her binder, where the

28:12

past five years of my life had been

28:14

taxidermied for her examination. The

28:17

dregs of nemesines still in me sent sparks

28:19

through those pictures, too, Captain Hijacado

28:21

clapping my back as I took my detective's

28:24

badge, me waving and smiling like

28:26

an idiot with diamond on my arm, the

28:28

howls and curses and threats of every cop

28:30

in the goddamn city wishing I was dead.

28:33

Okay, okay, I

28:36

said too loudly, trying to drown

28:38

out all those past voices. So

28:40

you're saying your daughter, Sybil, didn't

28:42

kill herself, despite what some would

28:44

call overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

28:47

So what's your reasoning? Got something in that magic

28:49

binder of yours? Sybil would never

28:51

kill herself, and if she wouldn't, that

28:53

must mean she didn't. That is

28:55

my reasoning. I let my career

28:57

flash before my eyes, which didn't take long, then

29:00

asked Sara if she had any evidence. It

29:02

was the first thing I'd said all morning that she didn't

29:04

have a quick response to. For

29:07

just a second, her hand tightened into a knot on

29:09

the desk, her knuckles quivering.

29:12

Then it was over. She had

29:14

too much to live for, Sara said. She

29:17

was a musician, a good

29:19

one. She'd had some success a

29:21

few months, no, a

29:23

year ago, and it hadn't really

29:26

taken off since then, but it

29:28

was going to. She

29:31

was very special. I thought

29:34

so. She paused, looked

29:36

at me, and added, I

29:38

know what that sounds like. I

29:41

rubbed my face. I felt

29:44

thirsty and nauseous and guilty. The

29:46

more I talked to this woman, the more of her time

29:48

and money I'd be stealing. Tell me

29:50

about the night it happened then. Maybe there's something there.

29:53

She flipped through her binder again. Pink

29:56

tap, blue tap, green, yellow, red. The

29:58

tips of her fingers trembled. Sibyl

30:00

left the house around eight in the evening on foot.

30:03

Zara said. She didn't have a car. There's periodic

30:05

footage of her on the street for the next

30:07

half hour, but not enough to draw

30:09

a path from. When

30:12

she got like that, she'd always wander, even

30:14

around the house if she had to, pacing

30:16

wherever she thought she'd be left alone. So

30:19

your daughter with a history of depression went for a long

30:21

walk in the middle of the night and then shot herself

30:23

is what you're saying. And you know

30:25

what it sounds like, I said too

30:27

harshly. She left the

30:29

house at eight o'clock. She was caught

30:31

on security camera until eight thirty and

30:33

not again until the gunshot outside DeMilo's

30:36

at midnight. She

30:38

did not own a gun. I am sure of

30:40

that. And yet there she was

30:42

at midnight holding a gun at the corner of Le

30:44

Guin and Hammett. Death's crossing.

30:47

We just watched footage of that street corner and

30:50

the name of it still sent a shudder through

30:52

me. If I hadn't just spent

30:54

the last twenty minutes trying to wring an emotion out of

30:56

her, I might've thought I saw a smile on Zara Shale's

30:58

face. I

31:00

let the thought roll over me. They

31:03

were cold now, but I'd spent months on

31:05

those cases. All those bodies

31:07

lying on that one street corner. Thirty-two

31:11

bodies, including Sasha Wire. And

31:14

Sybil Shale made it thirty-three. The

31:16

old theories bubbled up in me then. The

31:19

minutia in every one of those security feeds

31:21

that I watched over and over and over

31:23

again looking for something to break

31:25

the pattern. Looking for an answer. Looking

31:28

for anything that would tell me Sasha

31:31

hadn't killed herself. Or

31:33

maybe in a corner of a hope I never dared to

31:35

look at. Something that would tell

31:37

me that Sasha wasn't dead. You're

31:40

a good detective, Zara said. I just saw it in

31:42

your eyes. Just an eyelash? Things

31:45

have been driving me nuts for an hour, I said. She

31:49

waited. Zara

31:51

Shale could wait like a champ. I

31:56

sighed. Look, Ms. Shale,

31:58

the HCPD already looked into the eye. to this.

32:00

The odds that all the coincidences you're hoping for

32:03

all line up are so slim that not even

32:05

my bookie would let me take them. And my

32:07

bookie is a shark, ma'am. I swear you get

32:09

close enough you can see gills. But?

32:13

I ran a hand down my face, felt

32:15

the stubble scrape my palm. I'll

32:19

take your lousy case. Is that what you want?

32:21

Am I supposed to RSVP or

32:23

something? Not at all,

32:25

Detective Steele, Ms. Shale said. She

32:27

pulled the hard copy from my monitor and slid it

32:29

across the desk to me. You're just

32:31

supposed to clear my daughter's name. Listen,

32:34

I said I'd look into it, but you're not

32:36

paying for results. You're paying for my time, got

32:38

it? Because there's no chance in hell this turns

32:40

up anything. You got me? None.

32:43

Twenty-four hours later, I'd be sitting in

32:45

the same chair while one cop cracked

32:47

my ribs like crap legs and his

32:49

partner shouted, The hard copy, Steele! Where

32:52

did you put the hard copy? No

32:55

chance at all, Mrs. Shale said. Understood.

32:58

I appreciate you taking the time from

33:00

your busy schedule. You

33:03

really don't let up, do you? I said. But

33:05

she was already out the door. And

33:07

despite myself I was smiling. I

33:11

let the quiet hang in the office for a minute. Then

33:14

I clicked the hard copy into my monitor and

33:16

watched it again. Sybil

33:19

stepped out into the flickering light. She

33:21

muttered to herself, raised the gun to her

33:23

head. Shadow. Bang. Fall.

33:27

Dead. I rewound and

33:29

watched it again. And

33:31

again. Just

33:33

like old times. Four.

33:40

It took me longer than I'd like to admit to

33:42

stop watching that hard copy. Getting

33:44

caught in the loop of it, seeing

33:47

Sasha superimposed over Sybil, then another thirty-two

33:49

faces over her, it was easy to

33:51

forget I'd ever stopped investigating Death's Crossing.

33:54

Easy to forget I'd ever lost my life

33:56

in the HCPD. That I'd ever fallen as

33:58

low as this make-believe cop. gig. Then

34:01

Rita and I went to check out that

34:03

street corner, and the present definitively announced itself.

34:06

Back when the deaths crossing suicides

34:08

were in full swing, Le Guin

34:10

Street and Hammett Drive were just

34:13

long strips of rat trap apartment

34:15

complexes interrupted by convenience stores that

34:17

only stocked cigarettes, booze, and de-health

34:19

inspector ratings. No reason to

34:21

come here unless you wanted a good view

34:23

of the freak show street corner and a

34:26

conversation with concerned parents worried about how they

34:28

were supposed to raise their kids in a

34:30

place like Hyperion City. But

34:33

four years of quiet had passed between Sasha's

34:36

death and Sybil's, and in the

34:38

meantime, profit had devoured Le Guin and Hammett. The

34:41

apartment complexes and convenience stores were

34:43

history, and the entire neighborhood of

34:45

big dreams and hard lives had been replaced

34:47

by big deals and hard cash to

34:50

milos of Venus, a department

34:52

store the size of a city block that

34:54

promised the best deals anywhere outside the sun.

34:57

And if anyone had found out otherwise, they hadn't made

34:59

the trip back. De-milos

35:01

looked like your classic 24th century castle,

35:04

a perfect cube of clear plastic windows

35:06

with two robot puppet soldiers duking it

35:08

out on the roof. Even

35:10

on a street with a suicide curse, I thought

35:12

it was the creepiest thing going. Wow,

35:15

Rita said, eyeing the flashing

35:17

ads through those endless windows.

35:20

She had enough stars in her eyes to restock half

35:22

the galaxy. Maybe we'll go in later.

35:24

You can buy me something nice, I said. Really, boss?

35:26

Because I was just thinking that your birthday's coming up.

35:28

It's only ten months away, which means it's just about

35:31

time for a birthday appetizer present and— I

35:33

let Rita go on for a while. Fighting her

35:35

when she got on a roll was like fighting

35:37

the tide. You were going to lose, and it

35:40

would just come back later anyway. In the meantime,

35:42

I took inventory of the corner. And even though

35:44

nothing about the place had changed, it

35:46

all looked different. Harder, somehow.

35:49

Less ghost story. More everyday

35:52

tragedy. Besides

35:54

all the deaths, the only remarkable thing about the

35:56

corner of La Guinanhanet was that it didn't look

35:58

like anybody owned it. And

36:01

in this town, there's barely a place or

36:03

person that nobody owns. Across

36:06

the street from D'Milo stood an old storefront that

36:08

looked like it had been abandoned for decades. The

36:11

windows boarded up, the awning reduced to a

36:13

few metal edges in the lens of an

36:15

old hologram projector, the striped pull-out front sunbleached

36:17

where the red should be and rusted over

36:19

where the white should be. There

36:22

was a sign there, too, one that

36:24

had always driven me nuts because I could never dig

36:26

up what the place had actually been called. The

36:30

sign just said, inked. Time

36:33

had eaten up the rest of it by way

36:35

of rust and radiation and teeth. "'Hungry

36:38

sewer bunnies in this part of the city,' Rita said. With

36:42

D'Milo's open across the street, I'll bet they aren't

36:44

hungry anymore. Plenty of trash to

36:46

root through, plenty of people to mug, I said. Snaps

36:49

and pictures of the street corner. Even

36:51

if we're just going to turn around and tell Shale she's out

36:53

of luck, I want to look like we did something here." "'Gotcha,

36:56

boss,' Rita said. The camera of

36:58

her comms, perched on the right lens of her

37:00

glasses, flashed and chirped like a nosy bird as

37:02

she took the corner in. Down storm

37:05

drains and underneath the sign and in

37:07

the storefronts painted windows. Now ain't

37:09

this an exciting field trip? A real cursed street corner!

37:11

All the streams say that people have been, you know

37:13

what, in here for hundreds of years now ever

37:15

since Hyperion City was founded or maybe even..." "'The

37:18

curse is an urban legend,' I said. There's

37:21

no record that there had ever been a single

37:23

suicide here before seven years ago, which

37:25

is around when the rumors started." "'Oh, ow!

37:27

Is that the curse? Was it a spooky killer

37:29

ghost rumor?'" "'There's no curse. The

37:32

shrinks on the HCPD payroll called it

37:34

a community thing. The first

37:36

couple of deaths determined the pattern, with a

37:38

few adjustments here and there, and everyone after

37:41

that followed it exactly. The

37:43

shrink said that people who feel alone and

37:45

want to end it all might naturally gather

37:47

at a place where they...won't be alone in

37:50

the end." I

37:52

stopped. My mouth felt like the

37:54

inside of a vacuum cleaner bag. People

37:57

make traditions out of anything, I guess. It's

38:00

true. Rita

38:02

perked up from underneath the anked sign.

38:04

So quickly, her comms spun on her

38:06

glasses and took three quick pictures of

38:08

her huge, excited eyes. What

38:10

do you mean if? Do you think it could

38:13

be something else, boss? A ghost? A

38:15

terrible magic spell? Six ghosts all

38:17

casting terrible magic? I

38:19

meant because it's true, not if, I

38:22

said. Because we're just helping this

38:24

lady deal with the fact that her daughter killed herself

38:26

and we're not gonna find a curse or whatever.

38:31

I didn't know if the words were for Rita or me. Hope

38:34

was a bad idea. I felt like a sucker

38:36

for falling into it all over again, when

38:38

it nearly killed me the first time. Moron.

38:43

But what if it isn't? And what if I find the

38:45

first clue? Rita shouted. Then

38:48

a distant look thudded into her eyes and

38:50

softly, she said. I can't wait to

38:52

find the first clue, Mr. Steele. Gosh, you don't think someone else

38:54

already found it, do you? You spotted it

38:56

out those windows and hid it somewhere in all those soaps

38:58

and uraniums and extra-lot tote bags and hydraulic presses and. It

39:02

took me a second to realize what Rita was suggesting.

39:04

The other cops in the HCPD had

39:06

thought Rita was an airhead, but she

39:08

was almost definitely a genius. Her

39:11

mind just moved like one of

39:13

those cross galactic spaceships so fast

39:16

you usually couldn't see it. When

39:19

she'd been assigned to me and my partner back in my

39:21

cop days, she'd nearly driven me up the wall too. Between

39:24

gumming up my keyboard with salmon filled pretzel

39:26

chunks and telling me the full synopsis of

39:28

15 seasons of stream shows

39:30

in three days, I almost fired her

39:32

right there. It was my partner who

39:34

told me we were Rita's last shot. That

39:37

despite excellent marks in typing and coding

39:39

and bomb diffusing, she'd been bounced around

39:41

as secretary to every other detective in

39:43

the district. And if we let her

39:45

go, that was it. So

39:48

I decided to grit my teeth and wait it

39:50

out. Because the well of shows she'd watched had

39:52

to run dry eventually. Didn't

39:54

it? And paper towels and books and Mr.

39:56

Steele, but that reminds me of Deep and Deepest Space. Did

39:58

you ever see that one? It's all about this card's book,

40:01

but they make it into a movie, and later I think they make

40:03

it into a spaceship. I forget how that worked, but anyway. It

40:06

had been four years. If

40:09

anything, the well had only gotten wetter.

40:12

Anyway, I didn't buy that

40:15

someone would hide important evidence in DeMilo's, but

40:17

something Rita said clicked with me. Through

40:20

all the window walls of DeMilo's, I could

40:22

see the people lining up at the cash

40:25

registers, bulky packages in their cards, looking

40:27

tired and a little travel worn from a

40:29

day of trudging through miles

40:31

of maze-like aisles. Lost

40:34

shoppers looked out those windows longingly, homesick

40:36

for a world outside they could barely

40:38

remember. A few

40:40

of them made eye contact with me. Or we

40:42

could buy toothbrushes and sweaters with dogs on them and... Hey,

40:45

Rita, I said. Yeah, boss?

40:47

Any idea how late DeMilo stays open? Uh,

40:50

I think they close around midnight, but then they open at 12

40:52

AM. Which, hey, actually,

40:54

that last pot's a joke, ain't it? Franny told

40:56

me that one, so I should probably tell her I laughed at it,

40:58

even though it's been two or maybe three weeks since she said it.

41:01

So they were open when Sybil Shale shot herself, I

41:03

said. 25 registers,

41:05

an average of four or five people in

41:08

line at each, over a

41:10

hundred people looking towards this spot. If

41:12

anything fishy happened, one of them must have seen it.

41:15

They might have, Mr. Steele, but... They must have,

41:17

I said. Come on, let's

41:19

go and ask a few questions. There's gotta

41:21

be someone. The

41:24

questioning didn't go so well at first. It

41:28

didn't go so well at second or third, either. Uh,

41:32

Mr. Steele? Rita said when we were back

41:34

on the street. Her

41:37

eyes were wet and bloodshot, still recovering

41:39

from the trillion-watt onslaught from DeMilo's of

41:41

Venus. You okay, boss? Of

41:43

course I'm okay, I said. See

41:46

this face? This is my okay face. I'm

41:48

so okay you can hear my teeth laughing. I

41:50

think they're creaking, boss. You grinded them pretty hard.

41:52

Alright, so I wasn't in great shape, either. Navigating

41:56

that labyrinth of singing ads and flashing

41:58

bargains had been exhausting. and

42:00

ultimately pointless. Nobody

42:03

had seen Sybil Shale kill herself. Not

42:05

a single lousy person in that entire

42:07

lousy store had been looking out of

42:09

the lousy window when a human being

42:12

ended her life. A

42:14

few employees heard the gunshot and

42:16

some saw the body once it was

42:18

over, but nobody was there for Sybil

42:20

in the moment itself. I

42:23

tried to express all that to Rita. Only

42:26

problem was I felt so goddamn mad about it

42:28

that all I could let out was a few

42:30

grunts, a decent snarl, and the word useless. Rita

42:34

made sense of all that though. Like

42:36

I said, we'd been working together for a while. Mrs.

42:38

Steele, I know you're frustrated, but I

42:41

mean it's not like it's their fault that they didn't see. Of

42:43

course it's their fault, I said. And

42:46

from the look on Rita, features curled in

42:48

like her tongue had just gone sour. I

42:50

knew I'd bitten too hard. She

42:53

only died a month ago. Some of these people

42:55

should have seen her, I added. Sour. They

42:58

should have. I

43:00

tried to shake the anger off, but I couldn't even figure

43:02

out what was making me so mad. Just

43:05

the thought of Sybil Shale out there alone while

43:07

not a single human being in DeMilo's could be

43:09

bothered to look up from their chewing gum and

43:11

watch her punch out of her final shift. In

43:14

the end, only that security camera watched her

43:17

hanging from a street sign and looking down

43:19

with its cold plastic eye, recording

43:21

every second for some bored security office

43:23

cops to glance at, call it solved,

43:26

and shove it underneath all their other

43:28

case files. Only

43:30

the security camera, I thought.

43:32

And then it hit me.

43:36

I unclenched my hand. The knuckles ached. I'd

43:38

nodded them up so hard. Hey,

43:41

Rita, I said. What

43:43

are the odds that someone tampered with that security

43:45

camera up there? You know, did

43:47

something to mess up the footage? I

43:50

don't think so, boss. The encryption on those cameras is

43:52

really tight. Besides that, they transmit their feeds to the

43:54

security office instantly, so if anybody even

43:56

touched it, all kinds of alarms would just blow up

43:58

all over the old office. So the odds

44:00

are real low? Rita

44:03

said. From the look

44:05

in her eyes, a little scared and a lot

44:07

curious, she knew exactly where I

44:09

was heading. So

44:12

not zero then. Oh no,

44:15

Mr. Steele, don't you dare even think! I'm

44:17

daring. I'm thinking. I

44:20

said, hold my coat. If

44:37

Memory Serves has been read by Joshua Elon,

44:39

voice of Juno Steele, as well as the

44:42

following actors. Kate Jones as

44:44

Rita, Harley Takagi Caner as

44:46

Sasha Wire, Regine Vital

44:48

as Captain Hijikata, and

44:50

Cat Buckingham as Zara Shale. We

44:53

would like to give a big thank you to

44:56

our biggest supporters, Orphan Peddler, Ted I can't

44:58

believe how bad you got us. My Penumbra hyperfixation

45:00

is back at 100% power. The

45:03

Corn Eye and the Lonely Ghost, Z's

45:05

here, Jonathan the Wilkes

45:07

Wilkes, Juno Steele and

45:09

the Costco hot dog, Hi my name is

45:11

DJ and I love this podcast, Ari

45:14

Berry, an intrepid lilac, Andy

45:17

Bell, The Werner's Wishing Well to Juno's

45:19

Journey, KCO, Bettina

45:22

Trevino, Fauzi, Alim

45:24

Muktadeer, The Emerald Ate this

45:26

podcast, haha, Tony the Owl

45:29

Bear, Norae, Kira,

45:31

Jack M Cohen, Paladin of

45:34

Gawain, Good Boy of the Citadel, Adrian

45:36

Cadena, Thank you Penumbra team for

45:38

your amazing work, Braylin, Hello

45:41

Quintessence it's been a while, Hannah

45:44

and Leah's Adventures in Gender shenanigans, The

45:47

Lady Guinevere and the surprise name drop, Sid,

45:50

Jammy, Osipit, Diana

45:53

Kause, SCP Chloe, Desert

45:56

Willow is back baby, Rachel

45:58

Howard, Jun Gishoku, Skyfire

46:00

forever. The lady has claimed

46:02

another one, Jay Hull. James

46:04

Evelyn. Thank you, Juno Steele. Liv

46:07

Allen. Alice the Time Lord. In

46:10

memory of Spiral Opal. Eden the

46:12

Gay Bookworm. Michael David Smith. Nicole

46:14

Cundiff and I'll Miss You, Mr. Steele.

46:17

Kiki's podcast patronage service. Caroline

46:20

Seidman. Radio Solna. Rain

46:23

and Pippin from the Glenn Dimension. Dr.

46:25

B. Karen Z. H. Genetic.

46:28

Courtu. Minchowski. Ash.

46:31

And Angel Acevedo. Thank you all

46:33

so, so much. Thanks

46:36

for listening. Again, if you'd

46:39

like access to the rest of

46:41

the book, plus our huge back

46:43

catalog of bonus content, you can

46:45

find everything at thepenumberpodcast.supercast.com. Your

46:48

support doesn't just mean a lot to us, it's

46:50

also the only way we can afford to keep creating stories

46:52

that we hope you will love. Thank

46:55

you so much.