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the cast. Ryan Reynolds here

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mintmobile.com. This is

1:09

the Petin Sebastian

1:12

Show. with Pete

1:18

Corioli

1:22

and

1:27

Sebastian

1:31

Meneskelco coming at

1:33

you from Ferdinand,

1:35

New York. Lots

1:38

to get into

1:40

today here on

1:42

the Pete and

1:44

Sebastian show. Dare

1:46

I ask or

1:49

should we just

1:51

leave it on

1:53

the back burner?

1:55

Were you earlier today or

1:58

is this something that... It's

2:00

not digestible for the

2:02

public to hear. Oh, ah, yeah,

2:05

just doctor's appointment and

2:07

wanted to go over some

2:09

tests and stuff, but all

2:12

stunning. Yeah, no, all good, all

2:14

good. He's just, yeah, there's

2:16

nothing. What's going on with

2:18

the court coming out of

2:20

your ear though? It's a

2:22

little different now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my

2:24

bad, my bad. Here we go. I

2:26

might have to go up to shirt.

2:30

That's all right. That's all

2:32

right. I'm gonna have to go up

2:34

to the back of the spine. And

2:36

then in. So let's just, and I

2:38

don't know if you could tell from

2:41

where you're sitting, but a little

2:43

bit of a sunburn on my

2:45

face. I don't know if you

2:47

could tell through the lens of

2:49

your camera over there. No. What

2:51

happened? Uh-huh. Went out yesterday

2:54

in the backyard, decided, you

2:56

know what, let me, uh... It's

2:58

83 degrees. Let me

3:00

just go sit out, get

3:03

a little sun. Next thing,

3:05

you know. No, no, sunscreen,

3:08

no, nothing. Just came

3:11

in bare-backed

3:13

it and... It's bad. I

3:15

can't feel my face.

3:17

Tough time sleeping last

3:20

night. And I got a... I

3:22

got to push... Well, listen. I

3:24

got a mythia and I got

3:27

a myth today listeners. I was

3:29

on a no drinking kick but

3:31

over the past few weeks that

3:33

kind of has went by the

3:36

wayside and yesterday I felt like

3:38

to culminate the end of the

3:40

arena tour portion of what's been

3:42

going on in the it ain't

3:45

right tour I decided to crack

3:47

open a bottle of white wine

3:49

and had no intentions of

3:52

finishing the entire bottle. by

3:54

myself. That

3:57

being said... I

4:00

took a hike yesterday, hour

4:02

and 40 minutes with Lana.

4:04

Wow, I, I, uh, drank a bottle,

4:06

laid out by the pool, had

4:09

sushi with the family,

4:11

and about 830, my body

4:13

shut down, and I started

4:15

going to the bedroom, and

4:17

this was unheard of to go

4:20

to the bedroom around 830.

4:22

She was, where you're going?

4:24

I go, I go, it's over. Going

4:27

to bed. Went

4:29

to bed 11 o'clock

4:31

at night, bro. I

4:34

woke up in what I

4:36

would call preliminary

4:40

heart attack stroke

4:43

type symptoms.

4:45

Oh man, what? I would

4:47

equate it to like

4:50

a clam soup coming

4:53

out of my body.

4:57

What you take on

4:59

a possible sun over

5:01

exposure? Or what is

5:04

that? I drew up. This

5:06

is a lot to take

5:08

in. You threw up!

5:10

It's the freaking white

5:12

wine. Stop drinking

5:14

women's booze guy.

5:17

I'm telling you

5:19

man. And will you drink it?

5:21

Will you drink it? I know,

5:23

the last time I had white

5:25

wine and one of the few

5:28

times in my life was at

5:30

your house and it was quite

5:32

delicious. It threw me off. I

5:34

wasn't expecting it to

5:37

be delicious. Nice chilled white

5:39

wine really was amazing. But

5:41

were you drinking during the

5:43

day? Yeah. Was this all

5:45

hot? That's like the start of

5:48

a fucking... Movie about a woman

5:50

with a drinking problem. You know

5:52

husband comes home from work. She's

5:54

making dinner with blues on her

5:56

breath. I mean that's This is

5:58

a fame dandy Garcia a movie when

6:00

a man loves a woman. Remember

6:03

when the woman was right? I

6:05

don't know why, I don't know,

6:07

I don't know why we're

6:10

equating drinking poolside of

6:12

the day to a wife because

6:14

there's plenty of males that are

6:17

doing this as well. But, right,

6:19

right, right. I felt like I

6:21

was on vacation. And for it,

6:24

for a day. And 11 o'clock.

6:26

Because just today I was driving

6:29

with Jackie and your house came up.

6:31

Oh, it was that picture of the

6:33

dog and the gentleman guy who had

6:35

said, where does that dog run? And I

6:37

said to Jackie, oh, he doesn't see the

6:39

yard. That dog is so, that dog's a

6:42

great yard to run it. And then we

6:44

started talking about your house and

6:46

I said, I go, ah. I don't know if I could

6:49

have lived there even if I had that

6:51

kind of money because I would I would

6:53

I wouldn't want to work I would just

6:55

want to wake up work out hit the

6:57

steam room then hit the pool and chill

6:59

out and Jackie was like I know that

7:01

house is like literally living in an awesome

7:03

hotel so you did what I would want

7:05

to do and I'm glad to hear that

7:07

you did it bro you don't do that

7:09

enough so it was nice that you did

7:11

that you did that nothing wrong with the

7:14

830 the 830 shutdown I was even drinking

7:16

I went to bed at 9.30. Jackie's

7:18

like going to get a snack

7:20

and she's like, where are you

7:22

going? I'm like, bed. The tour is

7:24

tiring. And then on top of that,

7:27

these people don't understand. What

7:29

was it? Over 90 shows?

7:31

Over 90 arenas still an hour and

7:33

15, hour and 10 minutes every

7:35

night. Dude, that is like, I'm

7:38

clapping for myself in my 15

7:40

minutes too. That was some tour.

7:42

I was awesome. So fucking fun. Yeah,

7:44

we definitely had a great

7:46

time. I got the full

7:48

numbers. The numbers was 73

7:51

cities, 81 shows. That's what

7:53

we did. Oh, 81 shows. 81 arenas.

7:55

Wow. I don't even know if

7:57

I'll be able to perform

7:59

without. walking in a circle

8:01

ever again. How's everybody doing

8:03

tonight? Good, it's great to be

8:06

here. Oh, look back at

8:08

that. Anyway, that was amazing. Yeah,

8:10

man, I don't know what

8:12

to say. You deserve that. You

8:15

deserve everything that happened. You deserve

8:17

to party with that white

8:19

wine. Pukings, a little unfortunate,

8:22

but why do you have a tendency

8:24

whenever you eat a big meal or

8:26

have a few? You always wake up

8:28

in the middle of the night like a

8:31

mess. But then like, but then by

8:33

morning, are you not when you wake up

8:35

in the morning? Are you fine? They got

8:37

I went to bed early because and they

8:39

got I went I drank early because

8:41

I felt like the drinking early and

8:44

the going to bed early saved me

8:46

for a hangover. I felt like I

8:48

slept through the hangover portion of it.

8:50

Yeah. Even if yeah. And I got

8:52

up around seven. You know, I'm not

8:54

gonna lie, I'm a little, I'm

8:57

a little, I'm a little, I'm

8:59

dragging a little bit, but I

9:01

think, I don't know, I just had

9:03

a good time talking to my

9:05

dad out there on Face Time.

9:08

Lana was nice enough to go

9:10

get the kids and she went

9:12

once, she really helped me out.

9:14

I mean, I need a

9:16

decompressed day when I come

9:18

home. Yeah. Right here you. So here

9:20

we are. It's a Tuesday

9:23

afternoon. You just got back

9:25

from the doctor. Still curious

9:28

about that. I feel like

9:30

I'm not getting the

9:32

full story. No. There isn't

9:34

a full story, man. I'm

9:37

telling you. I did have something

9:39

I want to even know if

9:42

I could get into this. This

9:44

is not a patron, is

9:46

it? No. We could switch it?

9:48

Nah. No,

9:55

no, no, no. Well, wait,

9:57

but it's on her.

10:00

of. Anything you want to

10:02

bring up in regards to

10:04

the tour the last moments

10:07

we did a little

10:09

drink and eat on a

10:12

Saturday night in Detroit

10:14

this past weekend

10:16

and everybody went

10:18

around the table.

10:20

And you know, you're very good

10:22

with this as far as verbally

10:24

like sharing your feelings to a

10:27

group of people without any shame

10:29

or nothing. You just like lay

10:31

it out there. I did, you

10:33

know, like you got no problem

10:35

going. You know what man, I

10:37

love you guys, you guys are

10:39

the best, we had the best

10:41

time, right? Pat said a little

10:43

something at the table. There was

10:45

a little sharing of, you know,

10:47

reminiscing about the tour. And I'm

10:50

sitting there and I don't

10:52

know, maybe I'm too much

10:54

in my head, but I

10:57

tend to just generally

10:59

tap out when

11:01

it gets possibly

11:04

a little sentimental

11:06

or emotional. Because

11:09

I feel if I dive into

11:11

that head first, people

11:13

are going to be

11:16

picking me off the floor.

11:18

Why? Because I felt like

11:20

if I were to speak at

11:22

that table Yeah, I feel like

11:24

it could have went easily into

11:27

a full cry Even saying

11:29

that is nice if you said

11:31

that even like because that

11:33

lets people think that you

11:36

Don't want to share because

11:38

you do care about them and

11:40

you don't want to get too

11:42

emotional about it I just didn't think

11:45

it was the right, I mean like

11:47

what if I stood up and said

11:49

something and you're eating a corn dog,

11:51

what the fuck is this guy's crying,

11:53

I'm eating a corn dog, I just

11:55

felt like the vibe wasn't I

12:00

don't know if I would

12:02

have cried, but I just,

12:05

I just, you know, this is

12:07

what I'm doing.

12:09

I'm sending personal

12:11

notes to people, written.

12:14

You should take.

12:16

Interesting. Yeah, personal

12:18

notes are nice. That's

12:20

a nice touch, I suppose.

12:23

I don't know, you know,

12:25

I don't know what you

12:27

want, you know. You're not you

12:29

don't you don't do that you don't you're

12:31

not very forthcoming of your feelings

12:33

or you don't feel that way You know,

12:35

so I've learned that about you like and

12:38

we're just sharing here. Okay, and for

12:40

all you listen is out there sometimes

12:42

we don't acknowledge you enough We just

12:44

talk amongst ourselves, but this is I

12:46

just want to let everybody know I'm

12:48

sharing a little more here. I had said

12:50

something very nice on Christmas at

12:53

Christmas time. I left you a

12:55

message. It was very nice and

12:57

I'm not doing that anymore I

12:59

backed out of the Manaskalco. What?

13:02

What's the problem?

13:04

What's the problem?

13:06

Because, because it's, you

13:09

know, you know, I said some

13:11

things I shouldn't

13:14

have. Wow. Got a little.

13:16

Hey. What? I'm sharing. I'm

13:19

in a vulnerable

13:21

state right now. What

13:23

are you sharing? What

13:25

are you sharing? I'm

13:28

sure that I could have lost

13:30

my composure. Maybe my emotions got

13:33

the most of me, best of

13:35

me. And I said, I decided

13:37

to send out notes. And

13:39

now you're coming at me with

13:42

the fucking, I gave you a

13:44

Christmas message. Geez. It's great. That's

13:46

my way of saying, you know,

13:49

I don't, don't worry about your

13:51

note. I don't need the note.

13:53

You're not very emotional and that's

13:56

cool. Are you referring to? Don't

13:58

even look for it. Are you? Are you

14:00

referring to a voicemail? Yeah.

14:02

Yeah, but when I did it,

14:05

regardless of what I said,

14:07

that doesn't matter. The point

14:09

of it is, you know, I'm

14:11

reading, you're less, you're

14:14

not a sentiment, overly

14:16

sentimental guy, so you

14:19

don't, you know, don't worry

14:21

about it. No, I am. I'm

14:23

pulling back. I'm pulling back

14:25

so you don't need to

14:28

push forward. Yeah, that's

14:30

what happens when you open

14:33

up. You go, I might cry,

14:35

and then you go, I might

14:37

not cry, I might not cry,

14:39

I might not cry. Bro, you

14:41

surround yourself with awesome people. That

14:43

I will say, and I think

14:46

I said that night, the tour,

14:48

everybody on that tour, is great

14:50

at what they do, really, really

14:52

nice, and enjoyable to be around. And

14:54

when I was a little thrown by

14:56

with that, because I'd never been on

14:58

a tour of that magnitude before, and

15:00

I know a lot of the people

15:02

that worked on it, like they're already,

15:04

you know, lined up to go do

15:06

bands and the next thing, and like

15:08

that's the world they live in, not

15:11

a lot of over-sentimentality going on there

15:13

at the end. Like I thought people

15:15

were going to come up to me and like

15:17

big hugs and like I'm going to

15:19

miss you or could exchange numbers. It

15:21

wasn't a lot of that which I

15:23

liked. seem like the people in that

15:25

business are like we can't make a

15:27

big deal of it every time a

15:29

tour ends like you know we'll be

15:32

crying left and right we'll be too

15:34

it'll be too much so we just

15:36

uh we almost act like we're gonna

15:38

see you next week even though we

15:40

won't you know am I being

15:42

choppy am I not being

15:44

understandable Patrick are you getting what

15:47

I'm saying I feel like I'm

15:49

being confusing I'm getting you people

15:51

I got you all right So

15:53

what you're

15:56

saying is

15:59

you. I expected a lot

16:01

more fanfare at the end of

16:03

this tour from the people around

16:05

you and you didn't get it.

16:07

Well, both ways. There was a couple

16:09

people I was going to go up

16:12

to and tell them how great they

16:14

are and how awesome it was. But

16:16

the vibe was like, you know, like I

16:18

go to say that to a certain person

16:20

and they'd be like, so this is

16:22

it man, last one, it's been fun

16:24

Petey. And I'm like, oh, okay, I

16:26

guess we're not getting overly like. sentimental

16:29

and then I would just go yeah

16:31

man it's been great man you know

16:33

hope to sit down the road same

16:35

here man and I was like all

16:37

right cool we're not like making a

16:39

big deal out of it I wasn't

16:41

upset that we weren't I was just

16:43

like oh these people must go through

16:45

us a lot so they don't make a

16:47

big deal out of it it's just a

16:49

observation don't know how to respond to it

16:52

really I we're not on the same page

16:54

at all today I feel like I

16:56

know the same pages

16:58

Man, I

17:02

don't

17:04

know,

17:07

maybe

17:10

it's

17:12

the

17:15

hangover.

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at 830 p.m. Eastern Time Pete

21:00

Corey Ellie connects with you the

21:03

Pete and Sebastian fans it has

21:05

music magic and sometimes Sebastian Sebastian

21:08

It's a wild variety show only

21:10

on the Pete and Sebastian Patreon

21:12

Oh, it's just the envelope. Yeah.

21:15

What? Is it mail? No, I'm

21:17

using this envelope to write notes

21:19

because I was in a rush

21:22

to get up here, but there

21:24

is a note in here from

21:26

a listener that I haven't read

21:29

yet that's addressed to you and

21:31

me, D.P. and Sebastian. Three pages.

21:33

Three pages. I didn't read it

21:36

yet. Well, do you want to

21:38

read the email that you got

21:40

that you sent over? You want

21:43

to read it? I don't have

21:45

it on me. What do you

21:47

think? Did you read it? It's

21:50

a fan sent in this letter.

21:52

I think we should read it.

21:54

I want to get your take.

21:57

Hi Pete. I'm a fan of

21:59

the kids. It's not even addressed

22:01

to me. This is just you.

22:04

Why don't you call? Because they

22:06

know you're not going to read

22:08

it. So they hope I read

22:11

it and we'll share it. Well,

22:13

we're reading it. Thought to mention

22:15

that perhaps things have gone too

22:18

far with the admiration of Tom

22:20

Cruise. Did you read this? I

22:22

read it. I was already annoyed

22:25

when I read that right there.

22:27

The first sentence? Absolutely. Absolutely. I

22:29

don't like criticism. Listen, I don't

22:32

handle criticism well when it comes

22:34

to stand up comedy. You want

22:36

to tell me? My house, have

22:39

an idea to make my house

22:41

prettier or my clothes nicer or

22:43

whatever, it's fine. But when it

22:46

comes to my comedy, step off.

22:48

Is it time to go on

22:51

with the show? Go ahead, bro.

22:53

Sorry. We're getting our footing. We're

22:55

getting our footing. We're getting our

22:58

footing. Is it time to go

23:00

deeper and really see him for

23:02

what he represents, his true identity

23:05

in Scientology? As a Christian, you

23:07

know that he doesn't represent a

23:09

salvation faith in his church, that

23:12

he plays a major part in,

23:14

couldn't be further from true teaching

23:16

of Christ? I won't be putting

23:19

him on a pedestal nor going

23:21

along with Sebastian on his antics

23:23

with it all. It's

23:26

midnight here in Australia.

23:28

The message is brief,

23:30

but I'm sure you'll

23:32

understand the deeper meaning

23:34

of it all as

23:37

a Christian. See what

23:39

you could do to

23:41

end the... What is

23:43

it, idolatry of him

23:45

on the podcast? God

23:48

bless. I ain't gonna

23:50

give the name. Thoughts

23:52

concerns grievances. Not

23:54

a couple I really specifically

23:56

didn't like you don't go

23:59

along of Sebastian and his,

24:01

whatever, was a loving of

24:03

Tom Cruise, that one line?

24:05

Yeah. Because it's, it's, and

24:07

this is really gonna bother

24:09

her, because it's implying that

24:11

you love Tom Cruise more

24:13

than me, and that's not

24:16

the case, so that one

24:18

really bothered me. I don't

24:20

want to, I don't want

24:22

to eventually get Tom Cruise

24:24

on here and things that

24:26

you like them on, I

24:28

like them. And I don't

24:31

know, is, is it, you

24:33

know. I've made my thoughts

24:35

clear. I don't know. I

24:37

don't know. I remember this

24:39

lady's name, but I'm just

24:41

telling her whoever wrote it.

24:43

I've made it clear. I

24:46

would switch to Scientology if

24:48

that would make him my

24:50

friend. I mean, I mean,

24:52

I'm not locked into this

24:54

Catholic thing. I mean, I

24:56

don't know. I've never seen

24:58

a Scientologist die, but I've

25:01

seen some Catholics dying. I

25:03

didn't see God floating around

25:05

next to them when they

25:07

went. I'm way off today.

25:09

I'm way off today. I

25:11

don't know what's going on.

25:13

I didn't even drink white

25:16

wine last night. Well, there's

25:18

a lot of religions. You

25:20

know what I pulled from

25:22

that letter? What? We got

25:24

listeners in Australia? Dude, we

25:26

got a listener in Iran,

25:28

bro. He reaches out to

25:31

me. He's a great guy.

25:33

It really is. I wonder

25:35

if we got one in

25:37

every country. Oh, maybe. Maybe

25:39

we should look that up.

25:41

But this woman that wrote

25:43

the letter, you know, once

25:46

you start throwing in the

25:48

religion, the Christian and this

25:50

and that, the other thing,

25:52

it's like, oh, here we

25:54

go. So being a Christian,

25:56

isn't that part of the

25:58

whole thing to accept people

26:01

and... What you're ostracizing people

26:03

because they have a different

26:05

belief than you do I've

26:07

never I've never subscribed by

26:09

that Whatsoever whether you're Muslim,

26:11

Jewish, Catholic, whatever. I don't

26:13

ostracize based on faith. So

26:16

go fucking look at a

26:18

kangaroo and get the fuck

26:20

out of you. I'm sorry.

26:22

Go have a Vegemide sandwich.

26:24

But listen, I was very

26:26

mature what you said, bro,

26:28

when I was very insightful

26:31

and it's very true. It's

26:33

like, you know, I mean,

26:35

come on, man, Catholicism was

26:37

supposed to be about acceptance,

26:39

so I agree with you

26:41

wholeheartedly, but it brings up

26:43

another point. The fact that

26:45

Tom Cruise pulls the box

26:48

office numbers he does with

26:50

that fake religion, can you

26:52

imagine if he was Catholic?

26:54

Holy shit! They'd be lines

26:56

to see his movies every

26:58

day! I mean that's how

27:00

great this guy is. He's

27:03

the head of like a,

27:05

you know, moral religion. Like

27:07

that started in a mall.

27:09

And no one cares. He's

27:11

in a, I'm sorry miss,

27:13

you're not from America, you

27:15

wouldn't understand it. It would

27:18

be like us making fun

27:20

of, you know, Paul Hogan.

27:22

Yeah, listen, everybody's got their

27:24

own grievance or what have

27:26

you to each his own.

27:28

But for us, there's a

27:30

bit of sarcasm and, you

27:33

know, humor in what we

27:35

do, obviously, we're comedians. And

27:37

if you can't take it

27:39

for the... The straight fact

27:41

of it being just a

27:43

humorous little bit that we

27:45

have then I don't know

27:48

what to tell you but

27:50

Let me make a point

27:52

too if we ever were

27:54

lucky enough to have Tom

27:56

Cruise on this show The

27:58

woman who wrote that letter,

28:00

I'm asking you this, and

28:03

I'm only, we're only fooling

28:05

around when you miss, I'm

28:07

glad you wrote the letter

28:09

because it's funny and it

28:11

gives us something to play

28:13

with. If we had Tom

28:15

Cruise on, would you listen?

28:18

Or you're going to tune

28:20

out because he's a Scientologist.

28:22

Yeah, I doubt it. The

28:24

questions we got for this

28:26

guy, you ain't, you ain't,

28:28

you, I'm telling it. It's

28:30

going to happen. Regardless. Regardless.

28:33

All right, even if we

28:35

have to get you infiltrating

28:37

the church's Scientology over there

28:39

to make your way through

28:41

the ranks to get to

28:43

this guy? I'd say, baby,

28:45

whatever it takes. I want

28:48

to know, right out of

28:50

the gate, how did you

28:52

land on Cruz? Guy's real

28:54

name is May Pother, you

28:56

know that, right? Oh, Thomas,

28:58

May Pother. I think it's

29:00

M-A-P-O-T-H-E-R. And if you don't

29:03

mind, bro, you know, at

29:05

some point he picked a

29:07

name. What was that like?

29:09

Were you your mom and

29:11

dad? Were you alone? Were

29:13

you a friend? And you're

29:15

throwing names out? Like, what

29:18

was the runner-up? You know,

29:20

like, was it? Dots and?

29:22

Bro, it's his middle name.

29:24

Cruises? No way!

29:26

That wasn't a middle name.

29:28

Tom Cruise's full name. Is

29:31

Thomas Cruise Maypother the fourth?

29:33

I didn't know. See, we're

29:35

both learning. Cruise? So wait,

29:37

wait, wait, wait. So is

29:39

Thomas Cruise maybe his mother's

29:42

name, maiden name? Like, that

29:44

wasn't a middle name. Like,

29:46

my middle name is John.

29:48

What's your middle name? Joseph.

29:51

Can you imagine if it

29:53

was Cruz? Sebastian Cruz? I

29:56

don't know. That's a nice middle

29:58

name. I don't know what's going

30:01

on. See right there, right there.

30:03

What's up, ma'am? Ma'am. Did he

30:05

just decide? Oh, Maipather. I mean,

30:07

can you imagine? Did you see,

30:10

did you see Maipather's new movie?

30:12

Oh, oh God. Just the name

30:14

alone, you don't even want to

30:16

go, right? I don't even think

30:19

they would have let him into

30:21

Scientology with that last night. Maipater.

30:23

Yeah, so the origin. What would

30:25

you even call him in high

30:28

school? What's up, Maip? Maapather. What

30:33

about Thomas Maple?

30:36

This lady doesn't

30:39

want us talking

30:42

about him. I

30:45

would try to

30:48

figure out what

30:51

they call them

30:54

in high school.

31:31

Roseball or Lanzo ball

31:33

for Buzzballs? Ready to

31:35

go cocktails? Take 12.

31:37

Busballs just dropped their

31:40

biggest blue ball. Scripps

31:42

says Biggies Blueballs, Lanzo.

31:44

Take 13. Blueballs just

31:46

dropped their biggest buzzballs.

31:48

Let's try a vocal

31:50

exercise. Busballs, Biggies, Blueballs,

31:52

Biggies, Blueballs. Get Blueballs

31:55

this season with Buzzball

31:57

balls. Please you're responsible.

31:59

Busballs available. I

32:29

saw you at the game ball

32:31

on Sunday and I like the

32:33

way you hand it yourself. Sounds

32:36

classy. It's very humble. He goes,

32:38

yeah, I didn't want to make

32:40

a spectacle. I'm on. He's that

32:43

word? Yeah. I love it, man.

32:45

He doesn't, and we had a

32:47

parent teacher conference and the teacher

32:49

told us that he's not one

32:52

to brag or, um, in your

32:54

face. He'll score a basket, he'll

32:56

scare a goal, he'll do something

32:59

out at recess that would, you

33:01

know, require him to, like, yell

33:03

and cheer for himself. He just

33:06

acts like he's been there before.

33:08

Now, I have to tout that

33:10

Delana and I beating it into

33:13

his head, not to brag. Now,

33:15

similar, similar, instant with my daughter.

33:17

She does current events at school,

33:19

one a month. She picked a

33:22

12-year-old girl who's on Broadway, who's

33:24

in The Lion King. She picked

33:26

a NASA story. And this story,

33:29

she picked me breaking the record

33:31

at Madison Square Garden, right? For

33:33

five shows. She did the whole

33:36

project. And this is Sunday night

33:38

I was not home. She's like,

33:40

Mommy, I don't want to do

33:42

this. I feel like I'm bragging.

33:45

She goes... No, you're not like

33:47

that anyway. She was having a

33:49

really hard time with it. She

33:52

started to cry. She goes... I

33:54

don't want to make anybody else's

33:56

daddy feel less than because I'm

33:59

talking about my daddy. Wow. Been

34:01

beating it into the kids' heads

34:03

over the course of the last

34:06

seven years about being humble, about

34:08

not bragging, about not being a

34:10

show off, you know, and you

34:12

don't know what kids are absorbing.

34:15

But for me, it's always been,

34:17

just because, you know, we leave

34:19

a certain way, maybe we have

34:22

a bigger house than someone, doesn't

34:24

mean that that someone is less

34:26

than us. I don't want you

34:29

going around talking about things that

34:31

you have own do. It comes

34:33

off as being really superficial and

34:35

really not nice. Now we're seeing

34:38

two examples in the same week

34:40

of not bragging, right? And then

34:42

I came home. And I told

34:45

her, and I think you're like

34:47

this too, Lana is a great

34:49

mother, don't get me wrong, but

34:52

the examples that I was giving

34:54

Sarafina in this particular situation, and

34:56

I think it's just because we

34:59

do comedy and we think everything's

35:01

funny, I said, okay, I'm gonna

35:03

say two things and I want

35:05

you to tell me what's bragging,

35:08

right? So I started going, my

35:10

daddy, he brought, she goes, that's

35:12

bragging. I said, okay, see, you

35:15

know the difference. You could say

35:17

the same thing a different way.

35:19

You could say, I know everybody's

35:22

daddy here is very, very special,

35:24

but I just want to share

35:26

something that I'm very proud of

35:28

that my daddy did. And then

35:31

boom, everybody's on the same playing

35:33

field. Soon as I said that,

35:35

boom, it was in, she's doing

35:38

it, tomorrow. And she did it

35:40

for me last night. And again,

35:42

as a performer, I'm sitting there

35:45

critiquing. the delivery of the lines.

35:47

And it's, I gotta tell you,

35:49

you know, I'm not really good

35:52

at spelling. It's not really my

35:54

strong suit. Reading and comprehension was

35:56

really, didn't really excel in that.

35:58

I did excel in mathematics, but

36:01

once I got to school and

36:03

I thought I was gonna be

36:05

an accountant and saw what real

36:08

mathematics were, I was like, I'm

36:10

good. Yeah, but I feel like

36:12

I could add value in book

36:15

reports and performance-based shit in school.

36:17

Now I've been talking for at

36:19

least three and a half minutes,

36:22

and you haven't said a damn

36:24

word, which is, you know, I'm

36:26

not expecting you to, but I'm

36:28

just gonna shut it down right

36:31

now. I feel like this cast.

36:33

is so off the rails? No

36:35

it's not. Why do we always

36:38

have to be funny? So many

36:40

cats aren't. Can you open up

36:42

the window? I'm fucking dying a

36:45

sweat bro. As I was telling

36:47

the story I'm trying to go

36:49

where am I going? Where am

36:51

I going? Well listen it was

36:54

it was it was I was

36:56

interested and I was taking it

36:58

all in and I'm happy to

37:01

hear all those things that you're

37:03

saying as far as your kids

37:05

being humble about it man because

37:08

It is a fine line. Raising

37:10

them right, dude. Trying, bro. Yeah.

37:12

So that's what's going on over

37:15

at the school. Did I tell

37:17

you what I told the teacher?

37:19

I asked the teacher if Caruso's

37:21

got any crushes and any girls.

37:24

No, what'd she say? I just

37:26

threw that in there just to

37:28

like, you know. Yeah, sometimes I

37:31

feel like, you know. There needs

37:33

to be a little levity in

37:35

the conversation talking about like parent

37:38

teacher conference. Don't you feel at

37:40

the parent teacher conference that you

37:42

have to be slightly funny just

37:44

to let the teachers know that

37:47

this is why I'm not here

37:49

a lot? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,

37:51

right? I've actually missed them, which

37:54

sucks, I miss them, which sucks,

37:56

I hate, I miss the past

37:58

two years, I miss the parent

38:01

teacher conference. Oh, wow, yeah, no,

38:03

I like to be there at

38:05

the parent teacher conference, that's, I

38:08

mean, they're young, but now we're

38:10

starting to get into like, like,

38:12

like, you know, you know, you

38:14

know, having trouble, having trouble, Some

38:17

some words So I I cut

38:19

right to the chase. I go.

38:21

Okay. Where does this fall? You

38:24

got 30 kids in here. Where

38:26

is she with the spelling? Is

38:28

she in the middle? He's in

38:31

the middle to lower the lower

38:33

end You know, okay. That's all

38:35

I needed to hear. I just

38:37

said don't tell me she's having

38:40

trouble spelling a few words Tell

38:42

me how she's ranking amongst her

38:44

peers so I could tackle this

38:47

head-on All right, that's all I

38:49

had here is lower than the

38:51

mid, and now it's flash cards

38:54

every night at the dinner table.

38:56

Right, right, right. Well, if she

38:58

goes, she's the worst speller in

39:01

the class. She's like, okay, she

39:03

won't be by Wednesday. All right,

39:05

trust me on that. Dude, I

39:07

walked in the door, when I

39:10

got home Monday, freaking walk through

39:12

the door, Sadie hugs me, and

39:14

goes. I got a 90 on

39:17

my math test. I'm fine with

39:19

that, but mom's mad. Right? And

39:21

then I walk a little further

39:24

in and I see Jack in

39:26

the kitchen. She gives me a

39:28

hug, she goes, she's got a

39:30

90, and I go, yeah. And

39:33

she goes, Mom, it's like good,

39:35

and she goes, she's got a

39:37

90, and I go, yeah. And

39:40

she goes, Mom, it's like, it's

39:42

like, the mock, you did a

39:44

mock test, then you got the

39:47

mock test, you did, you did

39:49

the mock test, you got, you

39:51

did, you did, you did, you

39:54

did, you did, you did the

39:56

mock, you did, you did, you

39:58

did, you did, you did, you

40:00

did, you did the mock, you

40:03

did, you did, you did, you

40:05

did, you did, you did, you

40:07

did the mock, you did the

40:10

mock, you did the mock, you,

40:12

you, you did, you did, you

40:14

did, you did, you did, you

40:17

Did you feel like you got

40:19

everything right on the test? Yeah,

40:21

I go see you're not pissed?

40:23

that you got something wrong you

40:26

don't know what it is I

40:28

go that's mediocre not caring that's

40:30

mediocre if you cared you'd be

40:33

like God what did I get

40:35

wrong I need that test back

40:37

you know and I literally just

40:40

walked in the door after being

40:42

delayed my flight was delayed seven

40:44

hours after that whole freaking thing

40:47

and this I'm right in it

40:49

baby right in it man so

40:51

you know because these kids you

40:53

what what what what what If

40:56

I came home with a 90%

40:58

of my math test as a

41:00

kid, we'd go to Great America.

41:03

I know, right? Somebody's getting ice

41:05

cream to line! All college here

41:07

in town, which I went to,

41:10

so anyone listening in town, don't

41:12

be offended by this, you know,

41:14

for don't you college, they're called

41:16

the Blue Devils. Sadie wants to

41:19

go to Duke. She always talks

41:21

about Duke, she loves Duke, she

41:23

loves Duke, right? So I said,

41:26

well, you're gonna go, you're gonna

41:28

be a Blue Devil after all.

41:30

And she goes, well, I started

41:33

calling a 90. I go, if

41:35

you're fine with a 90, then

41:37

you shouldn't care that I'm calling

41:40

you 90. Can you pass the

41:42

salt 90? That's what I'm saying

41:44

at the dinner table. Pass the

41:46

salt 90. She laughs. My kid

41:49

is... Is dub best. I mean,

41:51

everyone thinks that kids are the

41:53

best, and they should. And if

41:56

you don't have kids folks, and

41:58

you don't want to have kids,

42:00

that's great too. But if you're

42:03

thinking about it, and you're worried,

42:05

and you're worried about it. Right

42:07

terrible show terrible show it's the

42:09

worst show man Maybe I have

42:12

a. These techniques. These techniques. Go

42:14

ahead. Yeah. Bro, after this episode,

42:16

we could throw the podcast into

42:19

family and parenting the category. No

42:21

shit. The diverse Australia threw us

42:23

off. The techniques you are utilizing

42:26

as a parent to. Entice

42:28

your kid to get better grades

42:30

are, geez, dare I say Japanese

42:32

like? Listen, I told you we

42:34

got a Chinese piano teacher that

42:36

from China that told Jackie you

42:39

raising your kids like they raised

42:41

him in China. And Jackie said

42:43

right to a face. That's a

42:45

compliment to me. All right? She

42:47

said. Oh, wow. Good, man. Good,

42:49

when did you get it? Oh,

42:51

boy, go ahead. By the way,

42:53

I want to tell you about

42:55

that. I want to tell you

42:57

about that flight. The confidence is,

42:59

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's

43:01

so deadly to have confidence. I

43:03

got to walk you through this.

43:05

Flight out of. Grand Rapids Monday

43:08

morning right my flight's not to

43:10

like I don't know seven I

43:12

go even early with Lindsay because

43:14

she doesn't want to take an

43:16

Uber alone and I like to

43:18

get there early I don't want

43:20

to risk it so I'm I

43:22

leave a 440 my flights at

43:24

seven at seven get on the

43:26

plane they tell us we got

43:28

a D ice it wasn't really

43:30

ice out so I'm like shit

43:32

I might miss my layover in

43:34

Chicago shit shit shit so it's

43:37

taking forever to forever the D

43:39

ice and then we're finally about

43:41

to Someone's sick on the plane.

43:43

So now we got to go

43:45

back to the gate and let

43:47

that person out. Oh So now

43:49

I'm like well now I'm now

43:51

I missed it. So that's over

43:53

right so now i'm already texting

43:55

Lindsay and telling the ask out

43:57

travel help me out paramedics come

43:59

on they take a kid from

44:01

the back he's got to be

44:03

in his mid-twenties but he's like

44:06

self-walking he walks out I didn't

44:08

even think people next to me

44:10

which one was a sick one

44:12

and the guy's like I guess

44:14

it was the kid I couldn't

44:16

tell because you know few paramedics

44:18

off back and a few people

44:20

walk up I mean, you're making

44:22

the plane go back to the

44:24

gate because someone's sick. They better

44:26

be on a stretcher, you know

44:28

what I'm saying? Not just walking

44:30

off on the runway, you have

44:32

a migraine, you gotta fuck a

44:35

migraine? So now I'm pissed, right?

44:37

Everyone's pretty pissed. So that person

44:39

gets off the plane. Then the

44:41

pilot goes, all right, once we

44:43

get that person off the plane,

44:45

and then someone else, when that

44:47

person got off, I guess they

44:49

decided they were going to miss

44:51

their flight. And then one other

44:53

person does that. So now all

44:55

the flight attendants come on, come

44:57

back onto the plane after helping

44:59

the sick person off. And they're

45:02

like, who got off? Someone was

45:04

walking off, and person's like, oh,

45:06

they were sitting next to me.

45:08

So now they got to go

45:10

through the whole plane and ask

45:12

you your name and check you

45:14

off, because they don't know who's

45:16

on or who's not on. And

45:18

I'm like, well, what are we

45:20

going to Guantanamo? We're going to

45:22

Chicago. Who gives this shit? Who

45:24

got off and who got off

45:26

and who got off and who

45:28

got on? So they finally figure

45:31

all that up. Then the pilot

45:33

goes, oh, we've been sitting here

45:35

too long and it started to

45:37

slurry a little. We're going to

45:39

have to deice again. Oh my

45:41

God, we got to deice again.

45:43

So we're getting ready to pull

45:45

out. And then the kid, not

45:47

in the phone next to me,

45:49

he's got to be in his

45:51

like, maybe early 30s, two employees.

45:53

And he's on the phone with

45:55

some of the works with. Yeah,

45:57

so when we get to Chicago

46:00

to Chicago, we're going to be

46:02

delayed. Uh, yeah, but I gotta

46:04

decide now, because I've got to

46:06

shut, and I'm hearing this, and

46:08

we're all here, and I'm like,

46:10

is this fucking k-k guys serious?

46:12

Now he's gonna get off? Because

46:14

people started getting off, and every

46:16

time... time someone get off it's

46:18

slowing down the process and now

46:20

everyone's finally off and we're gonna

46:22

go and then and then he

46:24

goes alright I'll ring it now

46:26

and he brings a bell flight

46:29

and he comes down a woman

46:31

and he goes we'd like to

46:33

get off okay if you if

46:35

you have to get off you're

46:37

gonna be delaying everybody else here

46:39

because we're about to close the

46:41

door what about luggage my bag

46:43

is underneath can you have it

46:45

taken out and the woman goes

46:47

That's going to be a delay.

46:49

And then as she goes, that's

46:51

going to be a delay. I

46:53

go, well, why would we take

46:55

his bag out? Who cares about

46:58

him? We all want to go.

47:00

Let him. On point, I go,

47:02

let him deal with it when

47:04

he gets to Chicago. And the

47:06

guy behind me goes, yeah, the

47:08

hell with him. And the guy

47:10

behind me goes, fuck this. Let's

47:12

what he said. And the woman

47:14

goes, watch the mouth, sir. And

47:16

I'm like, this guy's my herois

47:18

my hero. But I'm like, I'm

47:20

like, miss, this isn't make any

47:22

sense. And she goes, you know

47:24

what, you can't get your bag,

47:27

sir. You can get off, you

47:29

have to do it right now,

47:31

but you can't get your bag.

47:33

Well, where's my bag going to

47:35

mean? She's like, where are you

47:37

supposed to be going? Knoxville. And

47:39

she goes, well, then you can

47:41

get it in Knoxville, but you're

47:43

not getting it now. I'm tired

47:45

about caring about everybody in this

47:47

country, every little fucking person. Some

47:49

of you people are going to

47:51

get smoked, you're going to get

47:53

lost in the cracks, and that's

47:56

life. I'm on a rant now.

47:58

I want to go back to

48:00

the plane. Now you tell the

48:02

flight attendant, forget this guy, forget

48:04

this guy, now you got to

48:06

sit next to this guy for

48:08

the trip, right? Is there any

48:10

tension between you and the guy

48:12

that you just basically ruined his...

48:14

No he's across the aisle and

48:16

there was he was in the

48:18

middle and his friend was in

48:20

the window so there was one

48:22

person sitting in the in the

48:25

out of row that was my

48:27

buffer but this was not a

48:29

problem because everyone on the plane

48:31

was like starter up let's get

48:33

out of here forget this guy's

48:35

bag but just the fact that

48:37

the guy was these two was

48:39

so self-absorbed that like they had

48:41

no problem making us all wait

48:43

so they can get their bag

48:45

off because it's just like it

48:47

just that doesn't end man it

48:49

just doesn't end so yeah no

48:51

consideration of the people around them

48:54

it's all it's all about oh

48:56

what what what could I get

48:58

out of this so kudos to

49:00

you for again like I haven't

49:02

really been around a pulling a

49:04

peat at this level and I'm

49:06

surprised it hasn't happened on the

49:08

tour By the way, can we

49:10

just do a side note? And

49:12

something, because I'm always very super

49:14

observant. We were having drinks and

49:16

cocktails the other night and food.

49:18

And Pete mysteriously got up from

49:20

the table and started walking around

49:23

the room. And his back was

49:25

to the table, so I couldn't

49:27

really see what he was doing.

49:29

He looked like he was looking

49:31

at artwork or whatnot. And I

49:33

go, what is his name doing?

49:35

And he came back to sit

49:37

down and later informed us that

49:39

he went and he did a

49:41

full floss of his teeth with

49:43

a toothpick. And that's set back

49:45

down now. Have you pulled this

49:47

move before number one? And number

49:49

two, I know you were adverse

49:52

to not going downstairs. You had

49:54

a problem. Because we were in

49:56

an upstairs area. Yeah. And the

49:58

bathroom was downstairs. And you had

50:00

a problem going down the stairs

50:02

and what? Touching the velvet rope?

50:04

What was the issue? Because they

50:06

gave us a private section up

50:08

the stairs in this area of

50:10

the hotel for people listening. And

50:12

they put a velvet rope there.

50:14

And a lot of people from

50:16

the show were now in the

50:18

hotel. And they had seen us

50:21

go up there. And then like

50:23

they knew you were up there

50:25

and stuff like that. So I

50:27

felt whenever time I came down

50:29

to use the bathroom. was like,

50:31

oh come down amongst, I felt

50:33

pretentious, I felt like it was

50:35

a little pretentious that we weren't

50:37

just at a table amongst them

50:39

down there, so it felt uncomfortable.

50:41

Circles back to what we started

50:43

the show with, didn't want to

50:45

brag. Right, so I felt like

50:47

if there's someone else, I was

50:50

waiting for someone else to go

50:52

to the bathroom, so it seemed

50:54

a little less. Here comes Pete!

50:56

Oh, okay. So, yeah. To, to,

50:58

to, p. Yeah. So you decided

51:00

to do a public floss. I

51:02

wasn't public. You didn't see me,

51:04

Doni, because I was having dinner

51:06

once with my sister. You, but

51:08

you thought I was taking any

51:10

artwork. I was over there like

51:12

this. I did, I did see,

51:14

I did see a little of

51:16

this from the... Look like I

51:19

was playing a Hall Monica. Well

51:21

I was having dinner once with

51:23

my sister and in the middle

51:25

of after dinner she was saying

51:27

something and I leaned back and

51:29

went like that with a toothpick

51:31

and she goes yeah and then

51:33

anyway you're not you're not really

51:35

doing that in front of me

51:37

right now are you? It was

51:39

a bad habit I have so

51:41

now I've learned to get up

51:43

and take a walk to do

51:45

it. There's another habit I saw

51:48

that you have that I never

51:50

saw before biting your fingernails. I

51:52

know, we started seeing a lot

51:54

at the end, yeah. You're right,

51:56

I did, I do, and you

51:58

helped me with that. You helped

52:00

me with that, because you can't

52:02

stand it. So at one point,

52:04

I saw, at one point, we

52:06

didn't talk about this, did we?

52:08

You saw me do it, and

52:10

we didn't say anything. And then

52:12

like two days later, and you

52:14

go, you know? And I go,

52:17

you saw it the other day,

52:19

and you didn't like it. The

52:21

first time I saw it, we

52:23

made eye contact and I felt

52:25

like that alone was just like,

52:27

don't do that. Right, right. But

52:29

it's a bad habit, so. Oh

52:31

God. All right, listen, we got

52:33

to apologize for some speed bumps

52:35

we had in the show. I

52:37

felt like. Yeah, yeah. We were

52:39

a little not in sync today

52:41

for whatever the reason, probably coming

52:44

off, you know, whatever, 12 day,

52:46

whatever, how we came off of

52:48

it. It was like, it was

52:50

a long time. I have sun

52:52

damage. Shows. 81 shows, probably. I

52:54

have sun damage. I gotta regroup.

52:56

But again, gotta thank the listeners

52:58

here for the consistency of the

53:00

tune-in to the Pete and Sebastian

53:02

show. As we said before, I

53:04

might not have the Joe Rogan

53:06

numbers, but what we do have

53:08

is a loyal fan base that

53:10

consistently tunes in, day in, day

53:13

out. So we do really appreciate

53:15

that guys. Absolutely. You know, the

53:17

cast, as we know it, is

53:19

reaching another level. And it's about

53:21

to take off in a big

53:23

way. So... I

53:25

don't know what's

53:28

going on with

53:30

this cast. It's

53:32

like, it's like

53:35

it just keeps

53:37

surviving, right, man?

53:39

There you have

53:42

it. Pete Sebastian

53:44

show, we will

53:46

see you next

53:49

week. The

54:00

show has ended.

54:03

So go fucking

54:06

look at a

54:09

kangaroo and get

54:11

the fuck out

54:14

of you. I'm

54:17

sorry. back

56:05

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