0:00

Yes, hello my

0:02

friends, welcome to the Robcast. It's episode 3, 5,

0:04

8, and this episode

0:07

is called Sign and Scale.

0:12

What I want to do in this episode is name

0:15

something. I

0:17

want to try and distill something

0:19

that's been happening in me over the past couple

0:21

of years. Well, years and years, but really the past two years and

0:24

really specifically the past nine months. And

0:27

the word that keeps coming up

0:29

when I try and get at the essence

0:31

of it is this word scale. But

0:33

what I've noticed is how many of you

0:36

and how many people all over the place

0:39

are describing a very similar

0:42

experience. It's almost like we played

0:45

something out and we're beginning to see what

0:47

it even is and how it's been working on

0:50

us. So I want

0:52

to name and describe.

0:54

It's like something dying and

0:58

something that's asking to die. It's like

1:01

being liberated from something

1:04

or even healed. It's like something getting flushed

1:07

from the system. Some things,

1:10

like this one, some things take

1:12

decades to even

1:15

realize were going on

1:17

in you. It's like dragging

1:19

the fish up on the beach and then going, hey, that's

1:21

the water you are swimming in.

1:24

Decades to realize, let

1:26

alone work your way out

1:29

of. So that's what I want to do in this

1:31

episode. I want to name this thing. I would call it

1:33

scale. I'm sure you'll have your own language for it.

1:37

Before we get into that, dates

1:39

are up for the

1:42

two days in Ojai in January

1:45

and February. So January

1:47

and February, come join me. We'll sit under

1:50

the oak trees outside. You bring

1:52

your question, questions

1:54

about life,

1:57

work, business, art, next

1:59

step. whatever it is and

2:01

then I ask you

2:03

questions about your question

2:06

and then we watch as

2:08

you get clarity and we

2:11

just did one last

2:13

week and it just continues to be

2:15

I was gonna say a thrill

2:17

but I think honor is the best it's like

2:19

an honor to be with you all and

2:23

people start connecting with each other and it's

2:27

something so anyway there

2:30

may be a couple of spots for the December

2:32

I'm not sure but then January February

2:34

we just put those dates up and then as has been

2:38

for a while I did not see this one coming

2:40

but the Ra Bell art show I can't

2:46

even say that without laughing the Ra

2:48

Bell art show continues on Instagram

2:51

and so I just keep

2:53

putting up new pieces because

2:55

new pieces I'm literally surrounded

2:57

by them right now here in the corner of the garage

3:00

I don't even know where to put them

3:02

just stacks and stacks and then

3:04

somebody else decides to remodel

3:07

their kitchen from the 40s

3:09

and I get another stack and I get so

3:11

excited about it more

3:16

wood oh

3:20

so anyway that's a few things that are going

3:23

on now let's

3:26

get into this

3:28

let's get into this and see where it takes us

3:31

I have this friend named Kristen McGinnis she's an excellent

3:33

writer she has a new novel called

3:35

live through this and Kristen

3:39

McGinnis said to me I don't know sometime in August

3:41

she said hey let's do a joint

3:43

book signing aware you park

3:46

your spaceship your new book and I live through

3:48

this my new book let's do a joint signing

3:50

at the Barnes and Noble in Ventura just

3:53

you know half hour from where we live and

3:55

I said great so two

3:58

weeks ago today We

4:00

did a joint book

4:03

signing at

4:05

the Barnes and Noble and Ventura and

4:08

I got

4:11

there and Discovered

4:13

that the box of noble

4:16

couldn't get My

4:19

couldn't get where'd you park your spaceship my book

4:21

in time, so I had brought

4:23

a box With me

4:26

in my trunk, so I went out to when I realized that they

4:28

didn't have My book I went

4:31

out to the car and got my

4:33

box that I had here in the garage

4:35

and brought them

4:38

in I think About 25

4:42

people came Anna

4:46

Kristen and I like asked each other questions,

4:49

and then we each read From

4:53

our book and I read the scene

4:55

where Heen grew bears meets

4:58

dill tud for the first time and

5:01

I stood up and read the scene and like I

5:04

Went for it I love Reading

5:08

from this book. Yeah, I

5:10

think about 25 people came I

5:13

remember At

5:16

one point talking and Realizing

5:19

oh

5:20

these

5:21

these people I think five

5:23

people came Because

5:27

they knew a new me

5:30

and everybody else

5:33

Came for Kristen McGinnis and So

5:37

I remember at one point talking and realizing oh I'm

5:40

the guy looking at the people looking back at

5:42

me. I'm the guy who Kristen

5:45

McGinnis is doing the book signing with Like

5:48

I'm a guy talking about spaceships in

5:51

the corner of a bookstore on a Sunday afternoon Five

5:54

people here perhaps. I

5:56

am familiar with or familiar with me otherwise.

5:59

I'm just That guy.

6:06

And here's the thing. I loved

6:11

it.

6:11

Here's the other thing.

6:14

And my God, I don't know how to talk about this without

6:17

sounding like a... But

6:20

you know, just can I just like talk

6:22

about this in

6:25

a way that... Like there used to be

6:27

way more people at book signings. You

6:30

see what I'm saying? I'm trying not

6:32

to be that guy. But I may

6:34

be sounding like that guy. There used to be lots of

6:36

people at book signings. There used to

6:38

be... It used to be different.

6:42

Yeah, the scale was much bigger. And

6:47

there used to

6:49

be more... It just used to be bigger, I guess I would say it

6:52

that way. And there used to be people

6:54

sitting on the floor and there used to be people in the

6:56

aisles. And

6:59

a book signing was way more of a

7:01

thing. Is

7:04

that how I would say it? But this

7:06

was like the best.

7:10

It was so

7:14

enjoyable. I used to show up and

7:16

like the books magically were there. And

7:19

somebody handed me a Sharpie to sign the books. And now,

7:23

two weeks ago, I'd list... I

7:25

can't even get the

7:27

book in time because of their distribution

7:30

network. Something,

7:32

something, something. And I'm literally

7:34

bringing the books into

7:37

the bookstore myself.

7:41

And it's doing

7:44

something... Oh God, we'll see once

7:48

again. I'm trying to figure out how to talk about it. It's

7:51

like going back to a beginning that I skipped

7:53

at the beginning. Does that make sense? Yeah,

7:57

and each person who is there... each

8:01

person I got to meet and

8:04

each and every single

8:06

book I signed was

8:09

God it

8:12

was so meaningful

8:16

isn't the word but it's

8:18

close here's

8:21

so let me back up and then

8:23

we'll go back to that I

8:27

met somebody earlier this year and who

8:30

said that her lineage on one

8:32

side I don't remember as a mother or father's lineage

8:35

that her lineage was Afro-Caribbean and

8:37

I remember hearing that that her lineage

8:41

through her parents was Afro-Caribbean and

8:43

I remember this little

8:45

like

8:47

bomb went off in my head like almost

8:49

like a laugh like oh that's interesting my

8:52

lineage is white man expansion my

8:56

lineage is when

8:58

in doubt keep going now

9:01

I'm Danish and I have English of

9:03

course but you know what I mean

9:05

there was like something about the

9:08

way she said it that was like a gift because

9:10

I could see yeah my

9:14

lineage is when in doubt keep going new

9:16

lands new frontiers new

9:18

audiences new markets new

9:22

territories sound familiar that

9:27

there is like my bloodline but

9:29

then there is the people

9:31

that I came from who

9:34

just kept going

9:38

and you're with me on this that had

9:40

an underbelly

9:44

to it and we could get

9:46

into colonialism and obviously

9:49

you can go way into the seizing

9:52

of lands that belong to the people who were

9:54

there in the first place to slavery we

9:56

can go into all that but but this

9:59

large

9:59

your

10:02

impulse, is that what you'd say?

10:04

This bend

10:07

to just

10:10

keep going farther

10:14

and farther more and more. Numbers,

10:18

sales, followers, attendance,

10:22

tickets sold, when in doubt,

10:24

more, more.

10:27

How are things going? Well, we made more money

10:29

than last year. Excellent. How

10:31

are things going? Yeah, attendance is up.

10:34

Great. How are things going? I have more followers

10:36

than I did six months ago. Excellent.

10:38

Does that sound familiar to any

10:42

of you? And we come by that this is

10:44

what we were handed. It's like the programming,

10:47

the conditioning, it's the water

10:49

of the Western world for

10:53

many of us. So we have to

10:55

begin by loving all the earlier us's

10:58

all I love all the Rob's and you love all the earlier

11:00

use. There's no other way. And

11:03

I actually, yeah, you

11:07

have to extend yourself all sorts of grace. I

11:09

thrived in this because we're a wonderful mix.

11:13

Right? It's like, we look back

11:15

on our life, and we see all the good. And we also

11:17

see all the other things that were in there as

11:20

well. Later, you see all the

11:22

other things that were happening in there. But

11:25

this world that I came up

11:27

in where you just keep

11:30

it just bigger scale,

11:33

more wider, broader,

11:35

I benefited from

11:37

it. It was like it was made for me. I was made

11:40

for it. Like, so

11:42

ever so subtly, the question, how

11:45

are we moving things forward? Yeah,

11:47

building something, always building

11:50

something more accomplishments

11:53

increasing, I literally

11:57

went to different places in the world. Did

12:00

teachings on being fully present?

12:04

Well at the same time somewhere deep

12:06

in my bones was this question.

12:09

How did this? how How

12:13

to go yeah, how

12:16

are we moving things forward? How what are we

12:18

building here? Holding

12:21

things up and perhaps this is how I

12:23

would distill it Holding

12:26

up what's happening To

12:28

some standard whether

12:31

it's Monetary

12:33

whether it's influence whether it's

12:36

connection whether it's Holding

12:40

whatever you're up to and doing

12:42

to some standard or

12:44

goal or measure That

12:46

you're now realizing doesn't

12:49

even really exist it's

12:52

like 37 people noticed the thing you did

12:54

or 370 or 37,000 or 370,000 people

12:59

noticed the thing you did how is that different

13:02

from 42 or 32 if it's 37? But

13:06

you could look at it man, but it wasn't 42

13:10

and it wasn't 32 because the difference

13:12

is five human beings but so

13:14

easily that difference of five human

13:16

beings become a Random sense

13:19

that you have that whatever the thing it

13:22

is you were doing met or exceeded

13:24

or fell short of expectations

13:27

and those expectations are All

13:30

essentially things that we created

13:33

in our mind that either inflate

13:36

or deflate the

13:38

ego in the sense of self God

13:41

that was a Jumble of a sentence,

13:43

but you're with me right how often?

13:47

There is whether it's in your business

13:49

your work your family your

13:52

accounts

13:55

The feeling you have about

13:58

who you are in the world the The

14:00

mind constructs all these stories

14:03

and expectations of what is

14:06

underperforming, what is exceeding

14:08

expectations, what is successful,

14:11

what is failure. And it's all

14:14

at some level, you can't really get

14:16

your hands on any of it. It's

14:19

a standard or a goal or measure that

14:21

doesn't really exist.

14:24

Right?

14:26

Somebody asked me, where'd

14:29

you park your spaceship? How the book is doing? And

14:33

I laugh. I actually don't know

14:36

how it's doing. I think they meant by sales. I don't

14:38

know how it's doing by sales. But what

14:41

was funny is that I started laughing because I thought,

14:44

how is the book doing compared to

14:46

my other 550 page

14:49

novels about the planet

14:52

Furtis? How

14:55

is it doing to my other speculative

14:59

fiction exercises involving

15:02

the lead character named Heen Gruberres, Nune

15:05

and Dil Tudd? How is it doing compared

15:08

to the other ones?

15:13

Earlier this year, I went to a retreat

15:16

center in Costa Rica called Reunion, which

15:19

what a place.

15:22

And there were 12 of us spending

15:24

the week there

15:26

doing the going through

15:28

this wonderful I don't even know what you call

15:30

it program process.

15:33

And there were 12 of us and there were nine

15:35

facilitators who were there

15:38

present holding space

15:40

for us. And these people

15:42

were present

15:45

in a way that

15:49

is very hard for me to explain. And

15:52

the healing and

15:55

the clarity and the insight

15:58

that I encountered

16:03

was so life-altering. Oh

16:07

my God. Just right

16:09

now, even the emotions

16:12

surrounding, the gift of

16:15

the people there at Reunion. And

16:20

I could feel being

16:22

with them. I could feel myself

16:25

reprogramming, that

16:27

nine people

16:30

were present for a week for 12 of us. The

16:34

world that I come from, that's

16:37

not that efficient. You

16:39

know what I mean? Like only 12 of us. Like

16:43

you're seriously going to give

16:46

with such fullness and life

16:49

and love, you're going to give all

16:51

nine of you yourselves to helping

16:54

the 12 of us and have

16:56

the experience we're having. I

16:59

could feel something, it's

17:03

like my cells were reprogramming

17:06

around scale, around

17:09

numbers, around

17:11

how many, around breadth.

17:18

A neighbor of mine got

17:21

a hold of me and asked if

17:23

they couldn't come to the signing. He couldn't come to the signing.

17:25

So shout out to Matthew. He's

17:28

like, hey, could we do like a book drop

17:30

by thing? So I delivered

17:33

a, where'd you park your spaceship? One,

17:37

I delivered a book to my

17:39

friend, new

17:42

friend in the neighborhood. I

17:47

don't know,

17:51

how do I even say this? There

17:54

have been lots of books printed

17:56

and published and distributed. with

18:00

my name on the front. But I am now

18:03

delivering over the years.

18:06

But

18:07

I am now at the point where hand delivering in

18:11

my car in the neighborhood one book

18:15

is

18:16

such

18:18

a thrill. And I would say

18:20

it's taking me all the way back to the start, but I actually

18:22

skipped that part early

18:25

on. It's like I'm going back and retrieving

18:27

a beginning that I never had where

18:31

you're like, you know, it's like selling

18:34

CDs out of the trunk. You know what I mean?

18:36

That's the equivalent. Like going back

18:39

in book one, book two, book three,

18:41

another

18:45

bit by bit by bit and appreciating

18:49

it and

18:52

loving it, not for its breadth

18:56

and for how many, but for the depth

18:59

of one. Yeah, 25

19:03

people at that signing, most of them wondering

19:05

who's the guy talking about spaceships? Can we

19:07

just, can you just like do your

19:10

thing so that we can listen to Kristen? And

19:12

yet, oh God, I got to talk about

19:14

spaceships.

19:23

I've been doing these interviews because I

19:25

told you all how much I love talking

19:27

about these characters. And if you got yourself a blog,

19:30

a podcast, is that what the kids call them?

19:33

A YouTube channel, whatever it is, I'm

19:36

happy to talk about where'd you park your spaceship. And you

19:38

all have taken me up on this. By the

19:40

way, if that's you, email

19:42

us at info at robbel.com

19:46

and let's see if we can sort something out. So I've been

19:48

doing these interviews with you people and

19:52

I'm learning so much about myself

19:57

I am having these,

20:00

interactions with you all that are

20:03

so... God, the

20:07

like richness and

20:09

the in like the

20:12

insights you telling me about this

20:14

story that I just

20:17

put out and showing me what

20:19

you saw in it about you and the

20:22

number of people who are like yeah this book is your most personal

20:24

book like this is yeah we like see you

20:27

how how in this book about a different

20:29

planet and

20:32

there used to be a team of publicist who were who

20:35

I really really enjoyed working with but

20:37

I used to have a team there used to be with the publisher

20:40

has a team of publicists and they vet

20:43

to make sure that all the interviews you're doing there are

20:45

large numbers involved and now there

20:48

isn't that it's just

20:52

oh look let's talk to this person

20:55

and it's got

20:57

a depth and

20:59

a richness and

21:02

a vitality that

21:06

I can't even begin I'm trying

21:09

right now in this episode to put words on it's

21:11

very difficult I

21:13

did big

21:16

wide-scale it's

21:18

almost like it's almost like you play something

21:20

out you you you play

21:22

it out as far as you can and then you

21:25

see that that was never the game to be playing

21:27

in the first place but

21:30

this this talking to

21:32

you people delivering

21:36

one book even

21:40

even like last week

21:42

sitting under these trees here in Ojai

21:44

with what 20 people I

21:47

remember once

21:51

again disclaimer this could be a super douchebag

21:53

story so just stay with me because it it I

21:57

remember talking it this was a 2019 20 years

22:00

ago, speaking at a festival, it was outdoors.

22:03

And I remember talking to the crowd

22:06

and looking to the left and then as

22:09

I was talking, like you do, you look like

22:11

you turn your head so you look to the

22:13

people over on the left and then you swing your head around

22:16

until you're looking at the people on the right, sort of make

22:19

eye contact with everybody. And I remember thinking

22:21

at one point when I was talking, wow, it takes me

22:23

a while to go from all the way

22:25

to the left to all the way to the right

22:28

and afterwards, saying,

22:31

I remember saying to the organizer, yeah,

22:34

it seems like a kind of a big crowd. Like how

22:36

many people was that? Just out of curiosity because

22:38

it really did strike me like, the, like,

22:41

it's almost like

22:44

an energy you could feel like, wow, that's, this is some

22:46

serious scale. And I remember

22:48

asking the organizer, like, how many people

22:50

came to this thing? And the organizer said very

22:53

casually, yeah, I think we sold 120,000 tickets. Like,

22:55

it's just

23:01

what we do. You know what I mean? I

23:04

now,

23:07

I'm sitting under these trees with 20 people

23:10

sitting across from somebody, hearing about who

23:12

they are and what they've

23:14

experienced and what they

23:16

sense is happening within them now. And

23:19

my

23:20

god, one person is like

23:22

all this raw bell, 25 people

23:25

under the trees. This, this raw bell is gonna

23:27

like spontaneously combust. I'm just

23:29

gonna burst it so much. One

23:31

person is like, and

23:33

listening to

23:36

what it's been like to be them and what's

23:39

rising up within them asking

23:43

for expression. That's like, that's

23:45

like, that's like, it's

23:48

almost like more than I can bear.

23:50

Yeah, yeah,

23:52

yeah.

23:54

I'm sure you're tracking with me

23:57

on the larger, larger scale.

24:00

scale of this scale and how

24:02

all the things happening within you and I are

24:05

the larger thing that's happening.

24:07

Like this word, let's pick this word that for

24:09

many people is the new punching bag, capitalism.

24:14

And this deep

24:17

sense so many have that capitalism

24:19

has become a

24:21

word for something very, very off

24:24

about our life together. But

24:27

I would say

24:29

that what people are speaking of when

24:32

they speak of capitalism is a system

24:34

that doesn't know how to stop. All

24:37

it knows is more, more, more.

24:40

It's an addiction to scale

24:46

cut off from any sense

24:48

of connection and human

24:51

exchange. It's

24:53

just, well as long as there's

24:55

more, but it's an amorphous more that

24:58

doesn't know when it's enough.

25:00

So it just keeps going and creates

25:03

a certain kind of

25:05

insanity. Think about

25:07

a company that makes something or does

25:09

something, some service, some good, some product.

25:12

And that company has investors and those

25:14

investors expect a certain level

25:16

of returns. But what

25:20

is the level of return? Because in

25:22

many cases, the level of return is basically

25:25

just make more money than last year. And

25:28

so the CEO, the person who runs this

25:30

company, her job is to report to the

25:32

investors, correct? And

25:34

her job is to get

25:37

revenue and profit up. Last

25:39

year the return was 9%, next

25:42

year, well then the return kind of has to be 10, 11, 12, 13.

25:46

So is it a crap place to work? Kind

25:48

of an interesting question, not really. Is

25:50

what they do even good or needed?

25:54

Kind of interesting, but actually were

25:56

the returns more than last year? Is the

25:58

whole thing sustainable?

25:59

Is it good for the earth?

26:04

Well, I mean interesting

26:07

question, but how are the

26:09

returns? So much

26:11

gets bulldozed over and I'm

26:14

generalizing of course kind of So

26:17

much gets bulldozed over

26:20

for those returns and the people who make

26:22

that money As

26:25

We know now the actual

26:27

facts about wealth and how wealth

26:29

is more and more and more and more in the hands of

26:32

A smaller and smaller and smaller group of people

26:34

what we know now is people with really

26:37

large piles of gold Invest

26:40

and then expect an increase

26:43

on those returns so that the pile can

26:45

get Bigger so

26:47

that more pieces of gold can be tossed

26:50

on To the pile. So

26:52

the answer is how much? Like

26:55

what is the point of all this? It

26:57

doesn't have a number other

26:59

than more It doesn't

27:01

have a number because there

27:03

is no number. It

27:06

doesn't know when to stop And

27:10

some have called this growth ism. I think that

27:12

is like a fantastic way to name it It's

27:15

so divorced from the actual exchanges

27:18

of life that move

27:21

us in which we all support

27:24

each other and Yeah,

27:27

there's like an inner capitalist like

27:30

a growth ism of the soul like a disease

27:34

Where when in doubt just

27:37

keep pushing what's the answer

27:39

more? What's the answer scale

27:42

more scale more scale? Yeah

27:46

Yeah, I am a child of

27:49

that world. I am a I

27:52

was a son of that system Yeah,

27:55

and for me the

27:58

That free market just

28:02

more got welded

28:05

to a religious early

28:07

on spiritual to the ends of

28:09

the earth all the nations

28:13

and

28:16

it all got to be like one

28:19

giant sort of hairball just

28:21

when in doubt how was the attendance

28:24

did it sell out how many people came how many books

28:26

sold how many you're building

28:28

building building nothing wrong building nothing wrong

28:30

tickets nothing wrong whatever

28:33

it is that you do whatever it is that gets sold

28:35

whatever exchange great but there

28:38

is like a a runaway

28:41

scale that never doesn't know

28:45

when

28:47

is enough it doesn't know when

28:49

to stop and

28:52

I have noticed I'm feeling

28:54

I am

28:56

God that like cells being

28:58

reprogrammed around

29:01

what we know to be scale

29:03

yeah yeah

29:06

yeah

29:08

there is a depth and a presence

29:12

with just one there

29:15

is there is a joy

29:17

in

29:18

just a couple yeah

29:23

my daughter violet came with me

29:25

to that book signing two weeks ago and

29:29

she violet who came to destroy

29:32

the patriarchy beginning with me so

29:38

she came with me and she is just discovered

29:41

literature says this honors

29:43

English class that is just blowing

29:46

her mind and so we've been talking

29:48

about books and literature and how

29:50

you actually read something and how

29:52

you read between the lines and

29:55

themes and motifs and genres

29:57

and metaphors and analogies

30:00

and so she's like I want to read classics.

30:02

So before the

30:05

signing and talk started in the Q&A,

30:08

she and I were just walking through, okay,

30:10

trying to find, okay, do they have Catcher in the Rye? Okay,

30:13

do they have 1984? Do they

30:15

have, and then a friend of ours showed up, shout

30:17

out to Tim and Wendy, and Tim was like, have you read Flowers

30:20

for it? Is it Algernon? Oh, that's a classic.

30:22

So then they went off to look for it. So she's

30:25

all over the bookstore making a stack

30:28

of classics that she

30:29

wants to read. And

30:33

then

30:34

we get in the car and then she sits through the thing.

30:36

So she hears me talk about Spaceship. And

30:39

then we get in the car when we go

30:41

home and she talks about what

30:43

she thought about what I said. And

30:45

yeah,

30:47

it's

30:50

like, just

30:52

the best.

30:54

Just

30:55

the best. Yeah. So

31:00

that's the thing.

31:04

That's the thing about scale

31:07

is

31:08

this modern obsession

31:11

with more.

31:13

And no one can ever answer the question, how many?

31:16

So like,

31:19

what's the number of whatever, clients, sales

31:23

followers, like, no one ever actually

31:25

has a number. And

31:27

the people who do have that number just create

31:29

another number, or they have a deep

31:32

existential despair. It's like the trap

31:34

door opens on I got the number,

31:37

and it didn't,

31:39

it didn't fix whatever's happening

31:41

in here. Didn't I'm still

31:44

I'm just the same personally. Now I got the number that I

31:46

had in my head was the number that if you got that number, you would

31:48

have made it. There has to be some other game

31:50

we're playing here. Yeah, it's

31:52

like you have like the inner capitalist has

31:54

to die. Yeah,

31:57

that's what that's so perhaps that's what

31:59

you're expecting. experiencing so all

32:02

of the impulses around this system

32:05

This system has some edges

32:07

to it. This system has something about it.

32:09

That's Really really wrecking

32:12

things Yes,

32:15

and the way that you deal with it is you find it within

32:17

yourself you find the disease

32:19

of growth ism

32:22

Within yourself and Yeah,

32:28

yeah you find that

32:30

And

32:31

you go into the heart of it.

32:33

Yeah, and you find out that

32:36

When you're present And

32:40

you're not constantly obsessed

32:42

with what this is moving towards

32:45

Because

32:45

you're just here then a whole

32:48

new world Opens

32:52

up Yeah Yeah,

32:55

yeah whole new world Opens

32:58

up

32:58

Yeah, so that's what's been happening

33:01

in me and for some reason this

33:05

Book this guy asked this

33:07

guy where'd you park your spaceship in the middle

33:09

of the night two years ago It's

33:11

like this one story this

33:14

series of stories this world

33:16

it like came to Realign

33:21

To help me see something and

33:24

I distinctly remember when I started typing

33:27

No one may ever read this This

33:29

may never be a thing. This may

33:32

just be a thing I do for my own. I Don't

33:35

know joy pleasure fascination

33:39

But I I remember at the time

33:41

thinking just start typing. There's this

33:44

is come This is here to do

33:46

to set you free from something and I can see

33:48

now one of the things

33:50

is this

33:53

And we come by it honestly an addiction

33:55

to scale yeah,

33:57

yeah

33:59

It's all around us. It's

34:01

all around. Perhaps you have people in your life who,

34:05

that's all of their questions for you about

34:07

your life or about that. It's like, well

34:09

how'd it go? What was the attendance? How

34:12

much did you make? Who noticed?

34:16

Did it increase? Are the numbers

34:18

up? And they have

34:20

come to show you the thing that's in the air.

34:23

And

34:24

yeah,

34:25

yeah, there's another game

34:28

for us to be played.

34:31

Yeah, yeah.

34:33

God, two weeks ago today that signing,

34:35

it was like I could see. Oh, look

34:40

at,

34:41

some senses it was like look how far we've come.

34:44

In some senses it was like, oh,

34:47

look how much more enjoyable

34:50

this is. And you thought the old stuff

34:52

was enjoyable. And it was, but

34:55

this, look at the freedom in

34:57

this. Wait, another

34:59

person bought the book? Wait, I think we sold

35:02

two, three, four, did we sell

35:04

five books? Whoa,

35:09

we're on a roll here. We're on fire.

35:18

Yeah, this Ravel had

35:20

to have the whole thing collapse

35:22

at some level. The whole thing let

35:24

me down on a huge,

35:27

huge scale. I had

35:29

to have a whole thing fall apart so that I could

35:33

start over at the beginning

35:36

with one and then

35:38

maybe two and then

35:41

maybe three. And sure, I'll deliver a book

35:43

to your house for. Ah,

35:51

because when you can enjoy that, good

35:54

God, freedom. This

36:01

has been Robcast 358.