0:00

Your savings are not there to make you

0:02

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0:04

emergency. You take your income, you subtract your

0:06

expenses, and that equals your investments plus your

0:08

savings. So if you want to become wealthy,

0:10

it ultimately comes down to... Welcome

0:13

to the school of greatness. My

0:15

name is Lewis Howes, a former

0:18

pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And

0:20

each week we bring you an

0:22

inspiring person or message to help

0:24

you discover how to unlock your

0:27

inner greatness. Thanks for spending some

0:29

time with me today. Now let the class begin.

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theme today It's going to be powerful.

2:08

So let's go ahead and dive in

2:15

We talked about how to save your money we talked

2:17

about how to invest your money We

2:19

talked about how to manage your

2:21

expenses, but I'll talk about the income because

2:25

If now you understand how to live below your

2:27

means you understand how to put your money to

2:29

work If you want to put fuel

2:31

on the fire, you're just gonna earn more money Now

2:33

if you earn a hundred thousand dollars, you earn a million

2:36

dollars, you earn whatever you earn more money Now

2:38

you know how to put this money through the

2:40

system through your funnel whether 75 15 10 or

2:42

whatever else You

2:45

know how to take this extra money, but it's work that

2:47

we have more money to invest more money

2:49

to save more money to live Your

2:51

life, but the key is you don't want

2:53

to 100% increase your lifestyle to

2:55

match your income You want to increase your

2:58

income with your investments and get expenses the

3:01

same You think ideally now you can you

3:03

know marginally increase your expenses But the key

3:05

is you want to be increasing your income

3:07

and your investments way more. Yes So the

3:09

question is how do you do that? Well,

3:11

this is where again Understand

3:14

you if you are an employee

3:17

you don't want to start a business You don't want to

3:19

start a side hustle fine. Nothing wrong with that. There's

3:21

nothing wrong with being an employee I don't understand you but

3:24

that means now how can you earn more money? If

3:27

you like your job look for ways to get

3:29

a raise to get a

3:31

promotion See how you get

3:33

a bonus just be open with your boss. Say hey

3:35

look, I want to be able to contribute more I

3:37

want to earn more money. What can I do? Most

3:40

people are gonna be very open and honest say hey

3:42

I would like you to tack on this this and

3:44

this do this and then we will help raise your

3:46

salary Maybe if you don't like your job, you're gonna

3:48

get a certificate You're going to do something else you

3:50

need to figure out now how you can

3:52

earn your increase income Maybe what value can

3:54

you bring to the business to bring in

3:56

more money for the business or save more

3:59

time or create some? system so that

4:01

the business can say, okay, cool, let's

4:03

give you more opportunities for growth. Exactly.

4:06

I mean, if you can bring in an extra $10,000 a

4:08

year to the business of profit, they're not going to

4:10

have a problem paying you $5,000 or whatever it

4:12

might be. Right? And this is where you

4:15

just want to be open because every business is different. Maybe take on a

4:17

second job and just

4:19

figuring out how can you earn more money there? Well,

4:22

if you say, well, I want to do something outside of

4:24

my job, fine. Well the first thing you can do

4:26

is start a side hustle. So much more accessible

4:28

now than ever before. I mean, if you

4:31

go onto the internet, become a virtual assistant,

4:33

you can become a copywriter, you can become

4:35

a designer, you can become a video editor.

4:39

I have paid, so Upwork, they're not paying

4:41

me. Upwork is a platform that

4:43

I use to hire freelancers. And

4:45

I did a video on this, so I looked this up. In

4:48

the last two years or three years, I

4:50

have spent more than a quarter million dollars

4:52

on Upwork alone. Wow. On different

4:54

individuals. Different individuals. Hiring

4:57

people in different areas who don't work for me,

4:59

they work on their own schedule because

5:01

now the freelancing business has grown so

5:04

much. And so there's a

5:06

lot of opportunity there where now you can, if

5:08

you can present a service, you can make money

5:10

doing that. Yeah, they might be working an extra

5:12

five, 10, 20 hours a week on the side

5:14

or they might just be full-time freelancers. Yeah. And

5:17

you get to set your hours for the most part. You

5:20

can really do something that you like, that you enjoy,

5:22

that you're good at. So there's a lot of opportunity

5:24

there where now you can be a freelancer or start

5:26

your own title. So

5:28

if you have an idea, one of my buddies, his

5:31

mom is really good at making cakes. And

5:33

she started this, what

5:36

is it called? Carrot cake business. And

5:38

making a good, I don't know how much, maybe I think it's like $700

5:40

or $1,000 a month selling

5:43

carrot cakes from Instagram. He markets on Instagram. People

5:45

say, hey, can you make me a cake? His

5:47

mom makes the cake and he delivers it. Sure,

5:49

sure. I mean, it's just the number

5:51

of opportunities now, of course, as an attorney, I should

5:54

say there are liabilities in selling food, get

5:56

insurance and all that. But this is where there

5:58

are so many opportunities. right? Just being the hustler,

6:01

just getting yourself out there, figuring it out. And

6:04

there's an unlimited amount of possibilities and

6:06

opportunities out there. Now, if you want to

6:08

take it one step further, you could try to

6:10

build your own business. Your side hustle can turn into

6:12

your own business. If you have a business

6:15

idea, invest in it. First invest in

6:17

your mind, invest in your education and then try to

6:19

do it. You want to invest as little money

6:21

as possible until you start

6:24

generating revenue. Like again, mindset versus toolset. We

6:26

assume that we need all these tools to

6:28

start doing it. But the reality is the

6:30

first thing you need is your mind. Because

6:32

there's a lot of alternatives on how you can do it.

6:34

Like when I started, I started

6:36

as a sock company a number of years

6:38

ago, when I was trying to figure things

6:41

out, and it was a water resistant sock.

6:43

Yeah. And the interesting

6:45

thing was, I knew nothing about socks.

6:48

How do you manufacture socks? How do you make

6:50

them waterproof? And so I was working with textile

6:52

engineers, I was working with a lot of work,

6:54

action companies, I was working with a lot of

6:56

different people. I didn't have a lot of money. And

6:59

they wanted another time in a real product.

7:01

So I learned to talk. And

7:04

essentially, I did not I

7:06

think my total cost to build the first round of

7:08

socks was $3,500. Still a lot of money. But

7:12

relative to what if you want to

7:14

manufacture products, and create

7:16

a product to go through the prototype after

7:18

prototype to prototype, right, it costs typically $100,000

7:20

plus, I did it

7:23

for under four grand, because I was

7:25

able to talk to them, I used to talk

7:27

about the potential and I worked with them to

7:29

build out these special deals where hey, work with

7:31

me here and you know, I'll work with you.

7:34

Exactly. And we were

7:36

able to get it going. So it's the

7:38

ability to hustle be willing to find a

7:40

way. And that's that mindset

7:42

that sometimes too much money

7:44

can be a disease, especially if you

7:47

want to decide hustle or a business because I just

7:49

have spending money and I've been a victim of that

7:51

too. I'll just

7:53

give examples like the minority

7:55

mindset blog. I

7:57

didn't know how to build a blog and my time was so

8:00

eaten up with things like market

8:02

briefs, talking about building this tax business,

8:05

although that's much newer, but

8:07

building my company, building my YouTube channel, doing all

8:09

these other things, investing in real estate, that I

8:11

didn't really care about building a blog, like I

8:13

cared about it, but I didn't have the brain

8:15

capacity at the time to sit here and come up with

8:17

a strategy to do it. So I outsourced

8:20

it. I hired some

8:22

of literally the top blog

8:25

managers in the world and they

8:27

charged me a lot of money, like

8:30

as in six figures

8:32

plus, a hundred thousand dollars

8:34

plus to manage the blog and they promised all

8:36

this stuff. What does it really do

8:38

it? So a hundred thousand dollars for the blog

8:40

manager, at least another hundred thousand dollars on blog

8:42

content over the course of 12 months, and guess

8:45

what? No results. Zero.

8:48

Nothing. The worst. What

8:50

did I do? Too much money problem. I just said

8:52

I don't got the time, just gonna throw money at

8:55

it, hopefully that will fix the problem. If you can

8:57

get the top blog manager, you can hire people to

8:59

write. It's easy, right? Well,

9:02

after those 12 months, the contract was over, fired

9:05

them, and this is where I was

9:07

like, all right, you know what? Let me figure

9:09

this out, because I do want to build a blog and so

9:11

we build a brand new strategy. It costs us a

9:14

fraction, like a teeny tiny fraction of what we

9:16

were paying before. I think it would, bigger results.

9:18

Our blog is growing, we're generating revenue now. I

9:21

mean, it's a complete turnaround, but it's

9:23

that mindset versus toolset. Yes. And these

9:25

are real stories, real things that I

9:27

have gone through. So

9:30

you need to know now, how do

9:32

you multiply your income and understand that

9:34

you don't need thousands of dollars. My

9:36

first business I started with nothing,

9:39

essentially, when I started my bank planning company,

9:41

I started minority mindset with under

9:43

a few hundred dollars. Yeah. I mean, I

9:45

was making videos off of my cell phone.

9:48

You just need some hustle, some creativity, some

9:50

action, some consistency, some relationships, some communication, and

9:52

just making stuff happen. It's a hustle, man.

9:54

That's why I always say, keep hustling. Yeah.

9:57

Because the hustle

9:59

mentality... is so crucial and you

10:01

can't teach that, you can't read that in books,

10:04

you have to actually live it. And

10:06

so this is right now, if you want to really do that,

10:08

you have to understand the hustle mentality and the way you're doing

10:10

the work. And this brings me now to the

10:13

be great aspect. The last part now,

10:16

you speak my language. Exactly right,

10:18

exactly greatness. So you built

10:20

the base, you're putting some money to work,

10:22

you're leading your money, you are either

10:25

paying off your home or you're understanding how to

10:27

use your extra cash the right way, you're increasing

10:29

income, that way you can build your wealth even

10:31

faster. Now it's all about

10:33

being great. And there's two aspects to this. The

10:36

first aspect that I want to talk about is

10:38

protecting yourself because the reality is when people realize

10:40

that you have money, they're going to try to

10:42

take their hand, put it in your pocket and

10:44

keep someone for themselves. You know, to pause on

10:46

you there, I remember hearing Oprah

10:49

talk about this one time. Years

10:51

ago, I heard her on some podcast or somewhere she

10:53

said something like, as she

10:56

started to rise to fame with

10:59

her talk show and started to make a lot more money.

11:02

What do you think happened? Everyone's reaching out with

11:04

a handout, right? Oh, you've got money now. Can you help

11:06

me with $1,000 here? Can you help me with this? Well,

11:09

you've made the money. Can you help me? She said, I'm

11:11

paraphrasing this, but after like, I don't know,

11:13

a decade of this or something, it just

11:15

felt like everyone was using her. I

11:18

suppose it just being in relationship with

11:20

her and having an actual friendship or

11:23

relationship. And

11:25

she said that she decided after a period

11:27

of time, she was tired of just giving,

11:30

giving, giving, giving to people who had a handout. And

11:33

so she said, I'm going to do a big dinner

11:35

and I'm going to invite

11:37

everyone, friends, family, everyone, you know, third cousins,

11:39

twice removed, everyone who's been asked for a

11:41

handout, I'm going to invite them all. And

11:45

she said, like, she

11:47

gave out, she

11:50

had this massive dinner for everyone, like all

11:52

of everything you could eat. And

11:54

she started giving out envelopes and gifts

11:56

and cars and cash and just like

11:58

she gave out. Gifts

12:01

based on what she wanted to give to each person.

12:03

Yeah, everyone got something And

12:06

she said she gave a speech at the end and

12:08

said this is all I'm gonna give you don't ask

12:10

for anything else I'm right after this and

12:12

she said still people were complaining. Oh you gave

12:14

this person 10 grand. I only got 5,000. It's

12:16

like You

12:19

got to learn to protect yourself. Yeah mentally

12:22

psychologically Financially because you could

12:24

just be giving and giving and giving

12:26

it can never end right a hundred

12:28

percent And how do

12:30

you do this? That's that's the huge relationship aspect. I'm

12:32

gonna take it one step a little bit deeper on

12:34

the legal side because You're

12:38

you're absolutely right. You know, I struggle with

12:40

that relationship side as well because I'm not

12:42

saying don't be generous Yeah, but also it's

12:44

like when you feel like you're being taken

12:47

advantage of then it becomes challenging so my

12:49

family's from a state in India called Punjab

12:51

and What happens

12:53

a lot of people is you

12:55

come here to America or to you

12:57

know Someone like Canada my family came to America

13:00

and your family's in India and they think oh

13:02

my god You're wealthy in America. So you're working

13:05

your butt off here while sending money back to

13:07

India So, you know my parents did this my

13:09

dad did this a lot where especially

13:11

when we were young He wasn't making a lot of

13:14

money but he was always sending

13:16

money back to Civilians or people just

13:18

to help take care of them because that's our culture It's

13:20

not take care of people and it

13:22

becomes difficult because you know, it's that for at least

13:24

for me that cultural aspect of giving which I like

13:28

Taking care of family, but then also not making them

13:30

reliant on you because now once you start giving then

13:32

the same Yeah,

13:35

and so it's a very tough balance and I don't have

13:37

a good answer for you here because You

13:40

know, I do like taking care of people. I

13:42

like helping people especially, you know within my family You know,

13:44

I want to make sure I can take care of everyone

13:46

that's why I work hard because I want to make sure

13:48

that I Can give you and

13:50

so when I could I have given money to people

13:53

around me my family and my friends The

13:55

way that I look at it is I don't

13:58

want that money back. I know when they give you

14:00

money I'm never gonna ask her back and I don't

14:02

want it back. If you give it back to me

14:04

maybe I'll take it but I'm never gonna ask her

14:06

back and I will give based off of what I

14:08

can but I know that's money in my

14:11

mind I'm never getting back and I have to be okay

14:13

with that for myself and if I'm okay with that that's

14:15

fine and I think that's one of those things where I

14:18

don't because I don't want to mess up the

14:20

relationship. With my family

14:22

that's more important to me and so look if

14:24

I'm okay giving you a thousand dollars here's a

14:26

thousand never talk to me about it again. And

14:29

really that's it and if I see you blow that money

14:31

in dumb ways guess what when you ask me for another

14:34

grand you're not getting it. Yeah. You know it's as simple

14:36

as that I'm gonna forget about it I don't like arguing

14:38

over money I think that's very dirty and evil so um

14:40

you know I am and generous in that sense but you

14:43

know I'm also very straightforward where if I feel like

14:45

hey I'm not gonna give it to you I'm not

14:47

gonna do it yeah but I also don't so you

14:49

can ask for it back. But you're talking about protecting

14:51

yourself legally. Legally which means now

14:53

having the right advisors accountants and

14:56

insurance to protect

14:58

you and so when

15:01

you start earning money people are gonna try to reach into

15:03

your pockets and get it also

15:05

legally. I had a tenant in

15:08

one of my properties, Sumo Real

15:10

Estate Company because they said that

15:12

the bathtub got too slippery when the water

15:15

was on and because it was so

15:17

slippery when the water was on it caused

15:19

them to slip and fall which then

15:21

bathtub with water and

15:24

because of that they wanted damages for injuries.

15:26

But you just have to defend yourself even

15:28

if it's not your problem.

15:30

And so this is where how do you protect yourself

15:33

so I had a couple things one I had an

15:35

LLC second I had a

15:37

renter insurance or yeah and third I

15:39

had a property manager company property management

15:42

company and so I'll go through the

15:44

different layers you can see all the different levels

15:46

of insurance and how they worked because now the

15:48

first thing that happens is my property management company

15:50

documented everything because prior to them slipping they made

15:53

a complaint that there was about a quarter inch

15:55

per quarter inch chip in the bathtub and they

15:57

said all this little paint chip want to get

15:59

this So my contractor goes

16:01

out there, he says, okay, yeah, we can fix this.

16:03

And my contractor said, you know, the tenants here are

16:05

kind of old. Let's install them a handicap

16:08

pool just to be nice. We weren't required to do

16:10

this. We were fully licensed by the city, but my

16:12

contractor offered to do this. So

16:14

now they go back to do the work. The tenants say,

16:16

we don't want you to do it. We're tired. He

16:18

goes back to do it again. They said, we don't want you to do it. The

16:21

tenant slipped and fell at a barbecue. They

16:23

go back and said, no, he's still injured from the barbecue. So

16:26

we have notes of all this. Sure. And

16:28

then they go and say that they

16:31

slipped and fell in the bathtub. We

16:33

have records of all this where they said they slipped and fell

16:36

at a barbecue. And now they're saying they slipped and fell in

16:38

the bathtub. Why are they doing that? Well, maybe they can try

16:40

to get some money out of the

16:42

quote unquote rich landlord. I was a very young kid at

16:44

this time. I was still in college, trying

16:47

to dig into those pockets, thinking that, oh, if he's a real

16:50

estate investor, he must have a lot of money. And

16:53

so they use one of those free attorneys

16:56

to go after my insurance.

16:58

So now I have insurance. So now my

17:00

insurance company gives me an attorney to

17:03

protect me through this process. And

17:06

the judge laughed at the case. Even the attorney laughed at

17:08

the case. He was like, look, man, this is just trying

17:10

to grab money. There's nothing here. It's the frivolous lawsuit. So

17:12

we just have to do it. And

17:15

the insurance company wants to settle because

17:18

it's cheaper to settle than to pay $350

17:20

to $400 an hour to the attorney to fight

17:22

it and actually win the case. And

17:25

so that's where the insurance came in and protected me.

17:27

They fought me for me and

17:29

defended me and then paid out the settlement.

17:32

Now, if it had escalated

17:34

further, that's where the LLC protects me,

17:36

which is where you want to have a good

17:38

attorney there to recommend what's best for you because

17:40

that LLC then kind

17:43

of creates a shield where you can only

17:45

take what the LLC owns and you can't

17:47

go after my personal assets. So

17:50

if the LLC only owns that property,

17:53

you can't go after anything that

17:55

I own because the

17:57

LLC is what owns the real estate. So you want to make sure you protect.

18:00

yourself there. So

18:02

this is where having those right shields

18:04

to protect you are so important because especially

18:06

in America we are the most prestigious country

18:08

in the world and you want to

18:10

make sure you protect yourself against that. And

18:12

there's a funny thing in real estate that if

18:14

you haven't been sued as a real estate investor

18:17

you haven't been in business long enough. So it's

18:20

just one of those things where you want to protect yourself.

18:22

I think people also got to also understand this is a

18:25

full contact sport. You

18:27

know learning how

18:29

to follow these six steps that

18:32

you've laid out which I think are great but

18:34

learning how to be you know an

18:36

investor it doesn't come easy for

18:38

everyone right away. You're going to make some mistakes.

18:40

There's going to be some challenges to face and

18:44

the longer you're in it you

18:46

just have to deal with stuff that's not fun. Right.

18:48

This is something you have to deal with. There's probably

18:51

months of a back and forth thing and you're there's

18:54

some stress there's some worry there's conversation

18:56

it's time it's energy with

18:59

insurance with lawyers just to deal

19:01

with something that even isn't your

19:03

fault. 100% and you know that's

19:06

just one of the realities of being an investor

19:08

and entrepreneur where you know understanding the aspects and

19:10

there are going to be some things that are

19:12

not fun like I talked about in

19:15

our previous podcast the tax issue. I know. It

19:17

was a where my accountant calls

19:19

me up saying that hey just

19:21

delete this nine in the morning you owe a hundred

19:23

thousand dollars by the end of the day. Send it

19:25

into the IRS. And now I have to go figure

19:27

out how to do this send it in and then

19:29

he tells me that I also have to pay a

19:31

penalty on this because he did something wrong. So

19:34

it's one of those things that's not fun. It's

19:37

a problem but then as

19:39

an entrepreneur how do you find the opportunity.

19:41

Well first I fired the accountant. I

19:44

go on the hunt for a new accountant a

19:46

new tax advisor. I start working

19:48

with this new tax advisor and I see the

19:50

difference between a bad accountant and a good accountant.

19:52

I start learning. Wow you're telling me that every

19:54

month we can meet and you can advise me

19:56

on what I can do with my money that

19:58

way I can legally. whether

22:00

you help them with your time, whether you help

22:02

them through your expertise because now you've

22:04

learned the process because information is meant to

22:07

be shared. I talk about

22:09

this stuff on YouTube not because I wanted to get

22:11

rich, but because I was so

22:13

frustrated by the system, right? I never knew that

22:15

I could even make money on YouTube. I started

22:17

making videos, but I didn't even turn the advertisements

22:19

on. I didn't know that you could do that

22:21

until someone showed me, hey, you can make money

22:23

from these videos. And so the

22:27

whole idea of helping

22:29

to spread because like

22:31

we've talked about in this video, this podcast,

22:36

there's so much misinformation out there.

22:38

There's so much lack of information

22:40

out there. And financially,

22:43

like if you don't understand money,

22:46

if you don't have money, it

22:48

can ruin so many other aspects of your life

22:50

because if you don't have money, you're stressing about

22:52

money, now you can't take

22:54

your spouse on the vacation that they want. You

22:57

can't pay for your kids. Education. You can't

22:59

fund your retirement. You can't buy that gift

23:01

that you want. You can't do anything and

23:03

now you're stressing. It makes your mental health

23:05

worse. It can put you into depression. It

23:08

can make you start eating bad. It can

23:10

make your physical health worse. It can make

23:12

you feel so unfulfilled. It can make you

23:14

feel so spiritually beat. So

23:16

this is where understanding, hey, more money isn't going

23:18

to fix every aspect of your life. But if

23:21

you don't have money, it can impact every aspect

23:23

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is born. What

26:24

do you think are the key things

26:27

that abundant mindset people are

26:29

around money do differently than

26:31

scarcity mindset people around money?

26:33

If you had to

26:35

say three or five kind of key things. They

26:41

appreciate it, as you said. That is a

26:43

biggie. They appreciate it and they speak about

26:45

it as they

26:48

love it. They're not weird about it. They're

26:50

also generous with it because when you pinch

26:52

yourself off from giving, that is sort

26:54

of a subconscious way of saying there's

26:56

not enough to go around and it's not going to

26:59

come down, not in the flow. So when you don't

27:01

give generously, it's because you're scared that it's not

27:03

going to come in anymore. They take

27:05

risks. You know, you got to take risks.

27:07

You are where you are because you've been doing what you've

27:09

been doing. So if you want to change your life, you've

27:11

got to do stuff you've never done. What else?

27:16

Wealthy people.

27:18

They learn about money. Like you

27:20

focus on money. Like that was such a big thing for me

27:22

too. Like when I was broke, I never wanted to

27:24

think about money, right? I was all about writing

27:26

songs and, you know, doing much, you

27:29

know, more noble things. But then, but

27:31

when you're broke, all you think about

27:33

is money. Like I don't really think about money that much

27:35

now that I have it. Like, but every single decision you

27:37

make when you're broke is about... I have enough to pay

27:39

for this. Can I afford it? What happens if I don't?

27:41

Right. You wake up in the first thing in the morning

27:43

in a panic because you got to pay your bill. So

27:45

you're always thinking about money. So it

27:47

is really just sort of getting

27:49

in the flow with that and just, you know, being

27:52

on good terms with it and focusing on

27:55

it. And, you know, how

27:57

are you going to make it? Like being realistic about

27:59

your income. streams and you know and if you

28:01

want to make it you've got to coax it in

28:03

you know right yeah I'm

28:05

curious about this okay you you're

28:08

a starving artist you wanted

28:10

to do noble things which about art and making

28:12

art and all these different things what

28:16

would have happened if someone was said Jen you

28:18

know what I love that

28:20

you're an artist I love that you

28:22

have this you know passion for art and

28:24

you want to keep doing this and this

28:26

is where you've been for 40 years and we

28:29

don't want you to change here's a hundred grand a

28:31

year for the rest of your life don't

28:34

worry about money up to a hundred grand mm-hmm

28:37

what would that have done to you if someone would have given

28:39

you a hundred grand a year and you

28:42

would have just been like okay I'm gonna write and

28:44

do whatever I want and how do you think it

28:46

would have been mentally emotionally spiritually versus you having

28:49

to risk emotionally mentally yeah you getting

28:52

to heal let go

28:54

overcome right challenge

28:56

yourself into asking for money into becoming

28:58

something greater than that limiting beliefs what

29:00

do you think where do you think

29:02

you'd be now probably

29:04

would have spent it on beer honestly back in

29:06

those days yeah yeah I mean I wasn't you

29:09

you're absolutely right it's an it's an it's a

29:11

frequency you know it's like

29:13

it's like I don't

29:17

know I mean I always I always

29:19

had I guess

29:22

missing call that's not the right word but

29:24

I did I didn't do a lot of

29:26

stuff that was pretty edgy and I pushed

29:28

the envelope a lot so I

29:31

may have gotten there but

29:33

I don't think it would have been

29:36

as exciting as it was to do

29:38

it myself you know they're really as you do

29:40

grow and they say you know starting your own

29:42

business is the best personal development course you can

29:44

probably because all your stuff comes up right all

29:46

of it so I have

29:48

training as leadership training is inner

29:50

child trade everything everything every point

29:53

is pushed totally so so

29:55

it wouldn't have been as satisfying I don't think I

29:57

think I still would have done it though because that

29:59

is of my personality. When I'm ready to change, I'm ready

30:01

to change and I do it. But I think it wouldn't

30:05

have been as glorious. I probably wouldn't have

30:07

written you are a bat, so it's totally

30:09

changed my entire life. It changed yours, but

30:11

it also changed other people's lives. Yes. So

30:13

it's who you become, the lessons you learn,

30:16

the wisdom you have, to then be able

30:18

to be of service and teach from your

30:20

own experience. Exactly. Yeah, the book about me

30:22

getting 100 grand a year just for being

30:24

would not be that interesting to people. Right?

30:26

Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. What

30:29

has been the biggest lesson in the

30:31

last 10 years? Because that was 10 years ago when

30:33

you wrote you are a bat, right? And

30:36

you've written two or three books since then,

30:38

I believe. What has been the biggest lesson, three

30:40

books since then? Yeah. What has been the biggest

30:42

lesson in 10 years since you are a

30:44

bat to now? Personally,

30:49

physically, and financially. Oh,

30:52

man. Oh, let

30:55

me think. Okay, the biggest lessons

30:57

since I wrote you are a bat. Because

30:59

when you get more money,

31:01

more impact, more celebrity

31:03

fame in an industry, people

31:06

change around you. Some people don't,

31:08

some people do. Right. You

31:11

get to make different choices with your

31:13

health. Right. In positive or negative. Right.

31:16

You have more abundance to do bad things

31:19

or good things. Yeah. And you get to

31:21

see how you show up emotionally, spiritually as

31:23

well. Yeah, that's an interesting question. You know,

31:25

I definitely feel like since

31:28

it came out and has

31:30

had the success, you know, that

31:32

I've gotten better and better. It

31:35

really sounds cold, but like not caring

31:37

what other people think about me. Like that

31:39

is something that I'm really dedicated to right now

31:41

where it's like the one

31:43

star reviews and the five star

31:45

reviews, you know, it's like, believe me, I'm so

31:48

grateful. Anybody reads the book, but five star reviews

31:50

are the real dangerous ones, right? Where you're just

31:52

like, that's so cool. People think I'm funny

31:54

and smart. You know, really getting good

31:56

inside, like just being like, it doesn't matter as long

31:58

as you're in the industry. as I think

32:00

it's good and I think it's funny and

32:02

I think it's helpful, that's it. And so that

32:05

has been really important to me because it is

32:07

weird. I mean, I'm sure you too, like people

32:09

know who you are and it's like, it's

32:11

a little uncomfortable sometimes. I mean, it's great

32:14

too. Like I love meeting my readers but

32:16

it's just like, I

32:18

can't get too wrapped up in their opinion

32:20

of me because it's about my opinion of me. So

32:22

that's been a really big one.

32:24

Yeah. So not letting the opinions

32:26

of others be the opinions of

32:28

you about you. Right? Yeah.

32:31

Interesting. This really coming. The high hype

32:33

and the low love. Yeah, definitely.

32:35

Because you hear a lot about the low lows, like don't focus

32:37

on the criticism but you really got to watch it with

32:39

the five star stuff too. Yeah. Because

32:41

then if it goes away,

32:43

you're screwed, right? You're totally screwed. I

32:45

mean, that's why so many celebrities wind up

32:47

in rehab, you know, especially if you, I

32:49

always think about this too that I'm so

32:51

glad for me anyway that it started when I was

32:53

older. If I were 20. When

32:56

I was getting all these accolades, I would

32:59

be such an idiot. I know, like no

33:01

way. I'm really, I'm so grateful

33:03

for all of it. My God. Yeah.

33:05

Okay, that's personally, what about

33:07

if less in financial?

33:10

Financially, I guess

33:13

I love giving money away. Like I

33:15

didn't, I really, honestly, never thought I

33:17

was that generous of a person, but

33:19

I am. But so I'm very happy to find that out

33:21

about myself because I didn't really think that I was, but

33:23

also that I was just

33:26

making fun

33:28

of this this morning with a friend of mine that I'm still kind

33:30

of cheap with myself in ways. Like I'm

33:32

not great at like,

33:36

I'm going to have a nice house, have a nice car, certainly spend

33:38

plenty of money on myself, but I can

33:41

just be like, I'm not good at being

33:43

rich and like getting room service and like

33:45

spending. I'm just, I'm still kind of, you

33:47

know, the Italian immigrant daughter who sort of

33:49

pays attention. So not that that's bad, but

33:52

essentially, I have a little bit of that in

33:54

me, although in the last couple of years, I've

33:56

started to learn how to take care of me.

34:00

and food, and convenience, and saving

34:02

time. Convenience. Whereas for, I don't

34:04

know, the first five years of

34:06

my business, I

34:09

was making money, right? It's not like I

34:11

didn't have money, but I was so afraid to

34:13

lose it also that I was just stacking it. Every

34:16

time I travel, I would try to find, who do I

34:18

know in this town that I can sleep on their couch? Yeah.

34:22

Isn't it funny? Because I was like, I'm not going to pay $200 a night for a

34:24

room. What are you talking about? Like, I can use

34:26

that money and I can put it somewhere else. And

34:29

I was always like, how do I just get on the

34:31

cheapest bus fare? Right? How do I

34:33

get the middle back seat on Southwest? Like, how

34:36

do I get the $39? Yeah. And

34:38

just sit there for six hours in the

34:40

middle and just crammed as opposed to convenience

34:44

and saving time and having my health

34:47

optimized and using it to do those

34:49

things. But I was afraid to lose

34:51

it. So it was just work, work, work to make it, but I

34:53

was afraid to lose it for a while. And also

34:56

the value. I still, and I make myself

34:58

do, but I hate paying for parking. I

35:00

would rather drive. And we're talking like $2

35:02

at a meter. I'm so weird about that. I'm like, you'd

35:05

rather roll on the block five times. Just trying to find

35:07

a place to waste gas, waste my

35:09

time. It's so stupid. And

35:11

I crack up. But I

35:14

also have this thing where I'll spend 60

35:16

grand to put solar on my house, but

35:18

I won't spend $15 on a wooden spoon.

35:20

I'm just kind of funny catching yourself

35:22

where you're... I think there's

35:25

a power in being mindful with your

35:28

money and being, I would call it

35:30

frugal I guess maybe in certain ways,

35:32

but abundant in other ways. It's

35:34

like be abundant in certain ways,

35:36

but don't just overspend on everything because you have the

35:38

money. Yeah, I guess. I know.

35:41

So... Be mindful of certain

35:43

things. Finding whatever level you're at too. When you don't

35:45

have money, you also don't want to be pinched off

35:47

and stingy with it. It really is about... This

35:50

isn't just two people with money

35:52

talking about it. It really is about figuring

35:54

out where you're at and how

35:56

to stay in that abundant mindset and

35:59

in the flow. and leaving

36:01

an extra dollar when you tip or whatever,

36:03

you know, but just really catching yourself when

36:05

you're pinching it off Because it

36:07

doesn't matter how much we're talking about But it's that pinching

36:09

off if money is currency and currency is energy and you're

36:11

pinching it off that is not What

36:14

was the big lesson about relationships

36:16

in the last 10 years? Whether

36:21

beef yeah friend colleague intimate

36:23

relation. Yeah, you know that people

36:26

are still really uncomfortable with money and

36:28

I I Do

36:30

feel like it's

36:32

being of service to talk about

36:34

it freely and openly and joyfully and

36:38

It totally turns people off all

36:40

the time and close friends Absolutely

36:42

and but taking a stand and doing

36:44

it anyway and really like

36:47

I kind of do have to I Have

36:49

to be a little careful because it can be

36:52

braggy But again, like if I lost a hundred

36:54

pounds and I was telling you about losing a

36:56

hundred pounds people would be happy for you This

36:58

is the same kind of thing. Like it's something

37:00

that really is an achievement That

37:03

helps me be healthy and happy Yeah And

37:05

why shouldn't I talk about it and the fact that

37:08

you're uncomfortable with it doesn't mean I shouldn't talk about

37:10

it Right and think down to your level right? So

37:12

that's been injured and I have lost friends over that

37:14

Absolutely. Wow. It's interesting because we'll see you

37:16

know on social media these

37:19

Physical transformations of people here was me six

37:22

months ago. Here's me now Yeah, and

37:24

a lot of you see a lot of people celebrating

37:26

that right? Like congratulations amazing is the encouragement. It's like

37:28

look what I was able to do and I'm so

37:31

proud of myself And

37:33

I wish more people will do that around money to look like I

37:35

was in $30,000 in debt and look at my bank Save

37:38

me now debt free and I've got a thousand bucks in the

37:40

bank Oh my god, you know, whatever it is And

37:42

I think Dave Ramsey celebrates that for people in his

37:44

you know Kind of community where it's like when they

37:46

get out of debt He brings them on the radio

37:48

show and they kind of announce it But

37:51

I don't see this on social media them because that's a

37:53

safe space because everybody's listening to his show is

37:55

talking about money Yeah, yeah, you do it in

37:57

the public space you are going down. Yeah

38:00

How is that? I don't

38:02

really know. I don't know. I think about this

38:04

too. Like how did that all get started? When

38:06

did it become such a dirty thing? It

38:09

has I'm sure it has to do with some kind of control like

38:11

some people wanted to control something so right

38:14

I'm curious about you know, if you're

38:16

down to go there about intimate relationships,

38:18

how has making money impacted

38:20

you intimately in relationship? I

38:24

am definitely That

38:26

is my Achilles heel right now So that

38:28

and it's been a little weird for me

38:31

because being a very I have stories

38:33

around being a very successful woman And

38:36

how that's not so feminine and how yeah,

38:38

there's a lot of stuff on that So

38:40

I'm that's the that's the new

38:43

frontier which I'm super psyched about figuring it out. Yeah,

38:45

what do you feel like is the biggest? I guess

38:48

Struggle around that, you know, is it

38:50

my own beliefs around it. Totally. Come

38:52

on now. I know all this

38:55

It's all the same thing, you know, but that's

38:57

that's it. That's a deep one and it's kind of a

38:59

new one, you know, because Because

39:01

I haven't been a successful woman for a long time And

39:05

so it's it's interesting Wow.

39:08

Yeah So is this like, you

39:10

know people just are intimidated by you because

39:12

you have money or what is that? That's what I

39:14

think that because men are supposed to be

39:16

the providers and supposed to you know Yeah,

39:20

be the providers and then be more successful and

39:22

I don't really even care about that, you know

39:24

But I do care about somebody being at

39:27

the same level of me spiritually and sort

39:29

of just you know Just

39:32

with what they're into and stuff like that.

39:34

So that's really important to me Yeah,

39:37

that might be a block for some women like

39:39

if I make more money will I be

39:41

in a great intimate relationship? I think if

39:44

I make more than my partner, right? Well

39:46

the way that it's set up Anyway,

39:48

that is sort of it, you know that men and

39:51

you know So I just got to find a guy

39:53

who's either as as who's got really

39:55

good wealth consciousness Who's as successful who's totally

39:57

out there, but it's it's my own story.

39:59

It's always your own story. What

40:01

would you coach another woman

40:04

who says the same thing?

40:06

Who's like, they've got a successful

40:08

growing business or maybe they're making

40:10

a million dollars a year

40:12

in their business or more. And

40:14

they're like, man, I've been struggling because I

40:17

haven't found a guy who's comfortable with

40:19

me making this much. They feel like

40:21

they can't add as

40:24

much value to the relationship. What would you say

40:26

to that woman? Well, of course, Lewis, I

40:28

have had that client because the second you have an

40:30

issue, that client shows up. I don't know if you

40:32

find like every time because I'm doing this group coaching

40:34

course and oh yeah,

40:36

like plenty of people in that group ask me

40:39

the very question. So what do you say? It's not super easy

40:41

when it's the... Well, I know the

40:43

answer, but am I like really going

40:45

to live it is watch your

40:47

thoughts. What are you believing about it? What have you

40:49

decided is true about you, about your

40:51

environment, about the way the world works?

40:54

Like it's all your thoughts. Like if

40:56

you keep harping on it's hard. He's

40:59

not out there. I'm to this, I'm to

41:01

that. Then that is the truth. That's

41:03

what you'll manifest. That to think what you

41:05

want to think is to think the truth. That's true.

41:08

Yeah. So interesting because my girlfriend, I'll

41:10

tell you about her a little bit

41:12

before. She's extremely successful when she does.

41:14

She makes a lot

41:16

of good money and

41:19

I celebrate it. I'm like, awesome.

41:21

For me, it feels great to

41:23

have someone who's more energetically

41:26

aligned or more of an equal

41:28

match. Even though my

41:30

business does more than

41:33

her business, but she's making a killing in her

41:35

own way and I'm excited for her.

41:38

And it doesn't make me feel like I'm

41:40

not able to provide as much with

41:43

her making good money also. For me,

41:45

it doesn't affect that within me, but

41:47

maybe 10, 15 years ago would

41:50

have. Maybe I would have felt insecure or

41:52

not enough because I hadn't worked on my

41:54

stuff. So I think it's just finding someone

41:57

who's in alignment, who's a good match,

41:59

emotionally. spiritually, psychologically as well, who's

42:01

done the work and doesn't find it

42:03

intimidating. Exactly. I find it inspiring. I'm like,

42:05

wow. And here's the interesting thing for me,

42:09

not to go off on this too much, but

42:11

for me, something switched in the last like, five

42:14

to eight years, where

42:16

I had this kind of morbid thought where I said,

42:19

okay, if I'm with a partner, and I

42:21

don't feel like she can be resourceful, and I die, can

42:23

she take care of my kids financially?

42:26

It was kind of a morbid thought, but I was like, huh.

42:29

And I struggled in the previous

42:31

relationships that I was in thinking, would

42:34

they be able to financially figure it out? If

42:36

they didn't, they didn't remarry, if they didn't find

42:38

another man to support them financially, if

42:41

they, their parents didn't fund them, whatever

42:44

happened, if I, we had kids, I died, could

42:47

they financially be resourceful

42:51

and do things that would make our kids positive?

42:53

You know what I mean? And so, and

42:56

that's my partner now. So it's like

42:59

she is financially resourceful and creative enough

43:01

to generate, you know, if she needed

43:03

to. But I don't need her to

43:05

make any more. You know what I mean? So, yeah. Anyway,

43:07

something to think about there. But, so

43:10

that's one of your blocks right now. One of your challenges.

43:13

A temporary block. Yeah. Releasing

43:16

the blog very quickly. Yes. I'm just

43:18

airing all the laundry here. When I

43:20

leave this room, that it's all, it all stays

43:22

here. Open

43:24

the window. So it goes somewhere else. Please

43:26

get a fan. What

43:29

is the question you get asked by your

43:32

readers the most that

43:34

you wish they truly could

43:37

hear and believe the answer to? So

43:40

many. Well, the one that I said about what do you

43:42

do when the people's closest to you

43:44

don't support you. Another one is how do

43:46

you keep the motivation? Like, you know,

43:48

we go to these seminars, we read books, we

43:50

listen to the podcast and we're all raring to

43:53

go and then. A month

43:55

later, you go back and you all have. Exactly. Yeah.

43:57

So. So how do you stay motivated? Yeah. your

44:00

vision and on your growth journey? Well,

44:03

I call it going to the spiritual

44:05

gym and you've got to

44:07

have a spiritual gym practice because you do not

44:09

get to work out physically and then

44:11

stop going to the gym once you're in

44:14

shape. So just because you got in shape at the

44:16

seminar or listen to the podcast or whatever, you don't

44:18

get to stop doing stuff. So, and

44:21

it doesn't, you know, it was like, oh, I'm working so hard

44:23

to start my business and I want another thing to do, and

44:25

we went in. So it's like, it can be 20 minutes. You

44:28

know, working out for 20 minutes a day can do a

44:30

lot of great things. So it's like spiritual

44:32

gym workout, meditate for 15, read

44:35

a self help book for five. Like what music

44:37

are you listening to? Who are you hanging out

44:39

with? What makes you feel like you could flip

44:41

over a car? Like what are those things? And

44:43

do them every single solitary day for 20 minutes.

44:45

It's not that big a whoop-de-do. You know, when

44:47

you think about that it's going to change your

44:49

entire life, you know? So,

44:51

and take it as seriously as anything

44:54

else because that work will make

44:56

everything else that you're taking seriously and trying

44:58

to achieve. It's so much easier.

45:01

And, you know, I'm giving

45:03

a lot of talks right now and the thing that I'm

45:05

just so excited, and I'm so excited

45:07

to be speaking right now too because it reminds

45:09

me, it's my spiritual gym, right? Like we all

45:11

need it. So, but the

45:13

thing about, because we

45:16

are spiritual creatures having a

45:18

physical experience, right? And if

45:20

you, and like, instead of just giving it lip service and talking,

45:22

yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that. But

45:24

think about it. We are the

45:26

universal intelligence that created everything that

45:28

is. We are, our thoughts are

45:30

universal intelligence of stuff that created

45:32

everything that is. Why

45:35

are we not more stuck up? Why

45:37

are we not feeling so powerful all of

45:39

the time? If we're really going to believe

45:41

it, if we're really going to go

45:44

steroids on woo-woo and go there

45:46

and really, like, if

45:48

you thought about that all day long

45:51

about your thoughts being, you know,

45:54

when you're in alignment, not the garbage thoughts that

45:56

you think, but when you get quiet and you

45:58

tap into your inner yippie. skippy as I

46:00

like to call it, and you're there and

46:02

you're in the flow. It's like, it's

46:05

so exciting. Right?

46:10

What do you think happens to people that never give? That

46:12

they just earn for themselves or

46:14

they keep it in their business and they only put it

46:16

back in their business, but they don't think about giving outside

46:19

of the business. I've

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47:47

or bills that seem to go up

47:49

for no dang reason, like when budget

47:51

airlines promise a cheap fare, but then

47:53

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Yada. I

48:35

think their growth is stunted, really. To

48:39

me, again, it falls in the same category

48:41

as integrity. What

48:44

happens to someone who cuts corners? You

48:47

can win. You can prosper to

48:49

a degree, but all

48:51

the data tells us and

48:54

all the life experience tells us that

48:57

the people with fanatical levels of

48:59

integrity are the ones that

49:01

do the biggest stuff. The

49:03

crooks really don't get ahead at the end

49:05

of the day. The people that are selfish,

49:08

they can get some stuff done, but the people that

49:10

are selfless, they just have

49:13

a tendency because people

49:15

trust them. That trust factor

49:17

comes in. Things move at the speed of trust, as

49:19

they say. All those

49:21

things come into play, and you just

49:23

don't become all you were designed to be. The

49:25

other thing that happens with generosity is your

49:28

creativity increases. Because

49:31

you're releasing chemicals that you don't release when

49:33

you're selfish. Your

49:35

productivity increases. The

49:38

quality of your relationships increase.

49:41

I was speaking at a little Baptist church

49:43

in Kentucky one time, beautiful little church, and

49:45

the guy many, many years ago. And

49:47

the old pastor had been there for 40 years,

49:50

and I did a tithing lesson, hardcore Baptist

49:52

tithing lesson, which I love. And

49:55

the guy came up afterwards, and he goes, well, you left one

49:57

thing out. Sure, pastor. been

50:00

doing this longer than me what I leave out because you know

50:02

I've been doing this 40 years I've never had

50:04

a tithing couple in my church get a divorce

50:08

I went why because the tide is magical

50:10

because some people think that in Christianity you

50:12

know because I don't think that he said

50:14

no because when

50:16

you're unselfish with your money you're unselfish with

50:18

your wife mm-hmm and you're

50:22

unselfish with your husband and you serve

50:24

each other in the marriage if you're serving

50:26

the community with your giving it's the same

50:28

same muscle and he is

50:30

you're just you just easier stay married to when

50:33

you're when you're tithing when you're good

50:35

when you're giving when you make giving

50:37

a standard part of the rhythm of

50:40

your life you build that generosity muscle

50:42

and it affects every relationship you're in

50:44

particularly the key relationship in marriage it

50:46

changes the way you parent you

50:49

know because if you don't give in one area if

50:51

you're saying I'm gonna hold back my money and I'm

50:53

gonna keep you here you're probably not

50:55

gonna give generously to your spouse or to your

50:57

kids or to your friends or community right because

50:59

it's a character quality interesting you know it's like

51:02

the guy that says oh well

51:04

you know I hate the IRS I hate

51:06

taxes so I don't really put everything on

51:08

my tax return mmm okay so

51:10

you're a liar man you're a

51:12

cheater where you're gonna cheat

51:14

me you know

51:16

what the that's what I start thinking I don't I'm

51:18

not impressed I pay I

51:20

hate taxes but I pay every stinking

51:23

penny not because I believe in taxes

51:26

and not because I'm scared of the IRS

51:28

because neither one of those things are true

51:30

but it's because it it

51:32

says something about me I gotta look at

51:34

me and that's an

51:36

integrity issue it's a fun every

51:38

penny every cash sale

51:40

of a book on the back

51:42

table goes into the accounting system

51:44

and we pay freaking taxes on

51:47

it I got audited not long

51:49

ago I paid precisely zero Wow

51:51

in the audit we were so

51:53

stinking clean and it's not

51:55

because I'm scared of those dupers because I'm really

51:57

not they're paying the butt but I'm not scared

52:00

of them. It's a matter of integrity

52:02

is integrity is integrity is integrity. Generosity

52:05

is generosity is generosity is generosity. These

52:07

things that this stuff these are character

52:09

qualities of the successful people that I've

52:11

met. Yeah that's beautiful. Speaking

52:14

of marriage, it

52:17

seems like money affects marriages a lot. I'm

52:19

curious what or it could empower marriages

52:21

or could it hurt marriages if not

52:24

handled properly. I'm curious if

52:26

you were to give advice on some a couple

52:29

dating for you know a few years looking

52:31

to get married. What are a

52:33

few questions they must have and align

52:35

to about money

52:37

that might be uncomfortable to have those

52:39

questions but will actually get you clear on

52:42

hey are we the right match in

52:44

terms of our money mindset in terms of

52:46

what we're gonna do with money for the next and maybe

52:49

you have this question in the first few months of dating

52:51

you don't wait two years but what

52:53

are those questions that people should be asking before

52:55

they align with someone romantically

52:57

long term. Well there's

53:00

a couple things to think keep them out. I'm talking to

53:02

a young couple about this and I do often in a

53:04

marriage seminar or something like that is

53:07

our pre-marriage counseling session or something

53:09

like that. The

53:11

number one cause of

53:13

divorce is money

53:15

fights and money problems out there. The

53:17

stress of money and the arguments over money. Okay

53:20

and so if you said the number

53:22

one cause of death is

53:24

getting killed by a bear on the way to the mailbox

53:28

right then you would analyze how

53:30

not to get killed by a bear on

53:32

the way to the mailbox. Yeah right and

53:34

so if you're gonna get married you should

53:36

really look at the number one freaking thing.

53:39

Hello. This is the number one thing that

53:41

either hurts or ends marriage. Yeah and

53:43

the odd thing is is it's actually circular

53:45

it's an infinity loop because it feeds back

53:48

on itself meaning that it also the quality

53:50

of your marriage is a high data point

53:52

indicator as to whether or not you bill

53:54

wealth. Yeah and

53:57

so a very few people drag a spouse

53:59

kicking in screens. screaming into millionaire status.

54:01

You know? You mean it doesn't happen

54:03

by accident? So, I'm

54:05

bringing the princess with me, right? Come on baby, and

54:07

put you on my back and we're going to haul

54:09

you over there. It doesn't usually work, okay? Or I'm

54:11

bringing the guy who's lazy and won't work, and I'm

54:13

going to outwork him and the lady says, and he's

54:15

a little boy and I'm going to be his mommy

54:18

and I'm going to drag him all the way into

54:20

millionaire status. Not working, baby!

54:22

So, it goes both

54:24

directions. But, so that's the thing, if it's

54:26

the number one cause, then yeah, it ought

54:28

to be something really discussed. So,

54:31

preventative maintenance, right? Yes. You

54:34

know, it's a, you know,

54:36

preventative health. If the number one cause of death

54:38

is obesity, we probably ought to think about obesity,

54:40

you know? I'm curious then, what is, what

54:42

is a, what's a question a woman

54:45

that should ask to her man, you know,

54:47

within the first few months of dating about

54:49

money, where she could get a sense, if he's

54:51

fully honest and integrity with what he's saying, and not

54:53

just saying something to make her, you know, feel happy,

54:56

what is a question she can ask to feel like, and

54:59

this man I'm dating and courting and we're getting

55:01

into this life with, I feel like

55:03

I can trust him with money for the

55:06

future. Yeah. Well, money is a reflection of

55:08

our values, how we handle money,

55:10

and that's another reason that it's very important. Because

55:13

if your values are not aligned, you're going to

55:15

struggle in any relationship, but certainly in a marriage

55:17

relationship. And so,

55:19

you know, talk about the basics

55:21

of money. Debt. I

55:25

love debt. I'm going to use it all the time.

55:28

You know, I want zero down everything. I'm

55:30

going to buy a zero down truck. I'm going to buy a

55:32

zero down stereo. I'm going to buy a zero down couch. I'm

55:34

going to put nothing down on the house. And

55:37

you hate debt. Okay, we got a problem. We're

55:39

going to have to work through this or we're going

55:41

to have to, this is a deal killer. Okay. How

55:43

about saving? I don't think I'll save money. You

55:45

know, you know, you get you some. I

55:47

always thought you could out earn your stupidity. I

55:50

tried that for years. It didn't work, you know?

55:52

So my wife, however, is a natural saver, right?

55:54

So, when I joined her club is when we

55:56

started winning. Yeah. So bless her heart.

55:58

She didn't know this going. But I made a

56:00

hard hard life for her the first seven years with the So

56:04

saving and debt how about generosity? I don't

56:06

believe you ought to give if

56:09

you give you end up with less It's mathematically

56:11

factual which it is actually

56:14

But that short-term thinking that's a finite

56:16

game instead of an infinite game again

56:18

using Simon's premise on his book So

56:22

generosity the things we just talked about how about

56:24

how about living on it. Are we gonna live

56:26

in chaos? Mm-hmm Are we gonna live with

56:28

a plan? Yeah, I want to live

56:30

with peace or chaos. Are we gonna live with future-minded or

56:33

Yolo You

56:35

know only live once thank God. It's

56:37

Friday living for the weekend our

56:39

marriage theme song is Huey Lewis in the

56:41

news, right? I mean come on Is this

56:44

us and if it is then you know

56:46

because this what's this tell you anyone that

56:48

lives short-term thinking? We know they're emotionally immature.

56:50

Yes Spiritually immature and

56:53

so you're marrying someone or you're dating someone

56:55

that's emotionally immature and they're fun They're

56:58

always fun But there but

57:00

it's not fun in the long term because

57:02

it brings about stress the fruit of this

57:04

is nasty Mmm, and so now do we

57:06

have to be perfectly aligned on all those

57:08

things? No We just need to understand where

57:10

the other person stands and are

57:13

they so far over away from us that

57:15

it's a deal-killer Yeah, because my

57:17

wife is more of a saver than I

57:19

am by nature I had saving for me

57:21

as an intellectual act a spiritual

57:23

act of my will it is not a

57:25

natural rhythm Okay, she

57:28

naturally saves everything the leftovers

57:30

in our refrigerator are grotesque

57:32

I mean, it's just I mean, you know,

57:35

she saves everything So but so to the

57:37

extent that I can stay close to her

57:39

on that then we've got harmony Mmm,

57:42

we have both obviously with what we've been

57:44

through agreed. No doubt, right? We are both

57:46

plant have become planners over the 40 years

57:49

of marriage. I'm always been a

57:51

detailed planner I had to get

57:53

her to join me more on that You know, but

57:55

it's better if you do it on the front end than the way we

57:57

did it's a lot harder The way we did it back kill each other.

57:59

So you want to be an agreement on that and all

58:01

the data tells us on marriage and divorce statistics

58:03

and we've studied this for years is

58:05

number one cause of divorce money. The

58:08

other three if you can be an agreement on them, religion,

58:12

kids whether to have them and how to treat them and

58:15

how to deal with crazy people in your extended

58:17

family, your mother-in-law and your

58:19

crazy brother, your lazy brother who does cocaine and

58:22

whatever it is. How you going to

58:24

deal with it? How to manage it all. How to manage

58:26

boundaries with extended family and you know if

58:28

one of you thinks that children should just be

58:30

let run wild and the other one is an

58:32

over disciplinarian, we're going to have a problem or

58:34

I want no children and I want seventeen, that's

58:36

going to be an issue or I

58:39

don't believe there's a God and I think anyone who believes

58:41

there's a God is an idiot, oh by the

58:43

way I think there's a God, oh see this is a problem because now I'm

58:45

an idiot so there you go and so these

58:47

are the things but if you can agree, cause all

58:49

of these things are representative of your values and

58:52

what your beliefs are. So when you can agree

58:54

on your money, what you've ended up agreeing on

58:56

is your dreams, your fears, your

58:59

visions, you're in agreement, you're in alignment on

59:01

those. Not only what they are but how

59:03

we're going to go after them then. And

59:05

you've got a high probability of building wealth.

59:07

That's the odd part of it. That's the infinity low power

59:09

that comes back in and itself. I

59:12

hope you enjoyed today's episode and it

59:14

inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

59:16

Make sure to check out the show

59:18

notes in the description for a full

59:21

rundown of today's episode with all the

59:23

important links. And if you want weekly

59:25

exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as

59:27

well as ad-free listening then make sure

59:29

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59:32

exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with

59:34

a friend on social media and leave

59:36

us a review on Apple Podcasts as

59:38

well. Let me know what you enjoyed

59:41

about this episode in that review. I

59:43

really love hearing feedback from you and it

59:45

helps us figure out how we can support

59:47

and serve you moving forward. And I want

59:49

to remind you if no one has told

59:51

you lately that you are loved, you are

59:53

worthy and you matter. And

59:55

now it's time to go out

59:57

there and do something great. Have

1:00:07

you ever told a friend? Oh, I'm fine.

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When you really felt... Just

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so overwhelmed. Or sent a text...

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Can't sleep. Are you awake? When

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you couldn't find the words to say... I'm

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scared to be alone with my thoughts right now.

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You're in loss keep thermostat at 84. And

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you have to sleep on that 50-year-old couch with

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the mystery lump in the middle every time you

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visit. But

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you're too busy relaxing in the refreshing world of

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