0:00

Oh, well, hello there. And welcome

0:02

in this episode of the Terry

0:04

Cole show. And it's had the

0:06

most fascinating conversation with someone who

0:08

I've known for a couple of

0:10

years. I've always been so interested

0:12

in what inspired her to do

0:15

the things that she's done. She's

0:17

an entrepreneur. She's a celebrant. She's

0:19

an end-of-life dula. Her name is

0:21

Amber Sosbury. And her whole life

0:23

basically has been marked with this

0:25

deep fascination with people and their

0:27

stories and the rituals. that shape

0:29

their lives, which is very similar

0:32

honestly to the things that I'm

0:34

interested in my life, people in

0:36

their stories. So she grew up

0:38

with parents who exposed her to

0:40

all of these diverse cultures. She

0:42

lived in India, Sri Lanka, and

0:44

the hills of Tennessee, all culturally

0:47

so diverse, but this fostered her

0:49

curiosity about human history and the

0:51

intricacies of different societies, like which

0:53

she further explored through her studies

0:55

in psychology, sociology, and anthropology. Driven

0:57

by this desire to make a

0:59

meaningful impact, she became a celebrant,

1:01

performing weddings and funerals and baby

1:04

blessings and other rights of passage.

1:06

And then her role is an

1:08

end-of-life dula. allowed her to combine

1:10

her coaching skills with her passion

1:12

for celebrating significant life events from

1:14

the beginning to the end of

1:16

life. So when we were talking

1:19

about it, she was talking about

1:21

how, you know, she would help

1:23

couples and then they would say,

1:25

will you marry us? And then

1:27

they would say, will you marry

1:29

us? And then they would say,

1:31

well, you do a, you know,

1:33

a birth blessing. So it was

1:36

almost like she started working coaching

1:38

people and then it turned into

1:40

all of these other things. you

1:42

know, her perspective and how different

1:44

cultures honor wellness, honor life, and

1:46

honor death. And we all know

1:48

that in North America, definitely the

1:50

US, we're not the best at

1:53

honoring death. So I was super

1:55

intrigued by the end of life,

1:57

Dula aspect of what she was

1:59

doing. And then in 2016, she

2:01

co-founded purity coffee with her

2:03

husband Andrew, and this is

2:05

a totally different kind of coffee,

2:08

right? Producing coffee with a

2:10

focus on its health benefits,

2:12

which was so incredibly interesting

2:14

to me. And then she

2:16

went on to create sacred

2:18

cups, which is sort of

2:20

a subsidiary of purity, which

2:22

honors the indigenous farming practices

2:24

that produce their coffee. So,

2:27

so much for her personal

2:29

journey and her professional journey,

2:31

I just found the entire

2:33

thing completely fascinating, and I

2:35

hope that you guys are absolutely

2:37

intrigued as much as I

2:39

was by Amber Salisbury. Go

2:42

enjoy this interview. This

2:54

is the Terry Cole show and

2:56

as you might have guessed I'm

2:58

your host Terry Cole For over

3:00

two decades I've been a licensed

3:02

psychotherapist love and boundaries expert and

3:04

I'm also the founder of the

3:07

real love revolution and boundary boot

3:09

camp on this show I'll bring

3:11

you simple strategies based on practical

3:13

psychology Inspiring expert interviews and my

3:15

own insights and observations from my

3:17

time on the front lines in

3:20

the fascinating world of entertainment empowerment

3:22

and mental health Now let's get

3:24

going with today's episode.

3:26

I'm super pumped to

3:28

welcome Amber Salisbury to

3:31

the Terry Cole show.

3:33

Amber, welcome! Hi Terry, thank

3:35

you. Thank you so much

3:38

for having me. I'm excited

3:40

to be here. Super

3:42

pumped to have you. All

3:45

right, so... There's so many things

3:47

to talk about and so many things I'm

3:49

interested in that you're interested in But before

3:51

we get into it I want to talk

3:53

a little bit about your background because it

3:56

always for me I just feel like people

3:58

always do what they do these particular specific

4:00

amazing interesting things, but for a

4:02

reason. What first sparked your

4:04

interest in the inner workings

4:07

of different societies and cultural

4:09

traditions and like that? You

4:11

know, my interest in people started

4:13

at a very, very young age.

4:15

I've always loved people in different

4:17

cultures and I have my parents

4:19

to thank for that. My mom

4:22

and dad, Phyllis and Jay, they

4:24

were really beautiful humans. My mom

4:26

was a teacher. My dad was

4:28

a social worker and a meditation

4:30

teacher and they just, they loved

4:33

people. They wanted us to see

4:35

the world. They wanted us to

4:37

experience all kinds of different cultures.

4:39

And when I was in the

4:41

third grade, my dad took me

4:43

to see King Tut. And it

4:46

was over for me. I'm like,

4:48

I want to be an archaeologist.

4:50

I want to be an anthropologist.

4:52

I had, you know, that's what

4:54

I was going to do. And

4:57

so I really thank them for

4:59

sparking that. They also celebrated everything.

5:01

You know, we were a house

5:03

where every birthday was. honored every

5:05

anniversary, you know, there was always

5:07

something to celebrate. So I think,

5:10

you know, my work as a

5:12

celebrate came from them too, you

5:14

know, early on noticing that there

5:16

are moments in life that need

5:18

to be punctuated with honor and

5:21

with celebration and some kind of

5:23

ceremony. So that was early days.

5:25

But how beautiful that they set

5:27

you up. It's so interesting. It's

5:29

like the perfect trajectory for what

5:31

you ended up. really doing in

5:34

life. So let's talk a little

5:36

bit about like what other life

5:38

experiences open you up to themes

5:40

like mortality and presence and ritual,

5:42

all these things that the plethora

5:45

of things that you do are

5:47

like all wound up in. Sure,

5:49

that's a great question. And it's

5:51

so interesting now where I am

5:53

in my life, I can look

5:55

back and I can see. how

5:58

all of these different paths, you

6:00

know, came about because I thought,

6:02

wow, I'm doing this celebrant thing,

6:04

you know, I'm learning all. ceremony

6:06

and then I went into end-of-life

6:09

Dula work and and there was

6:11

definitely a path for sure. I

6:13

think you know my mother got

6:15

sick and she was diagnosed with

6:17

cancer and and that really started

6:19

for me the work in end

6:22

of life. You know I didn't

6:24

know in the Western world we

6:26

really don't. We don't do death

6:28

in a way that is full

6:30

of honor always, right? Like there's

6:33

so much work to be done

6:35

in that area. And I just

6:37

wanted to learn. You know, so

6:39

when my mom was sick, I

6:41

decided, okay, this is it, I'm

6:43

going to learn, first of all,

6:46

how do you make sure that

6:48

you're living life to the fullest?

6:50

So that at end of life,

6:52

there's no regrets. You know, she

6:54

was supposed to go in six

6:57

months. You know, the doctor said,

6:59

be prepared. Be prepared. get her

7:01

things in order. And she ended

7:03

up living four years. And I

7:05

truly believe that is, I know,

7:07

right? That is because I had

7:10

something planned for her that excited

7:12

her every single, every month. She

7:14

had a course she was going

7:16

to, or, you know, she lived

7:18

more in those last four years

7:21

than she did in, you know,

7:23

a couple decades. So, so I

7:25

have my mother to thank again

7:27

for that great gift. and my

7:29

father as well, you know, when

7:31

he passed from Alzheimer's. And again,

7:34

I wanted to create an experience

7:36

for him. I wanted his last

7:38

moments here to be a testament

7:40

to how beautiful his life was,

7:42

right? And that's what fueled me

7:45

with the end-of-life Dula work. The

7:47

celebrant work. really came from, I

7:49

worked for Tony Robbins for about

7:51

eight years until I met my

7:53

man Andrew Salisbury and then we

7:55

had a little girl and I

7:58

started coaching from home and I

8:00

was doing relationship coaching, I was

8:02

helping people get in. relationships, which

8:04

I love, I love working with

8:06

that piece. And then as they

8:09

would find partners, they would say,

8:11

can you marry us? And I'm

8:13

like, well, let me see, let

8:15

me get some training there, right?

8:17

And so that's when I started

8:20

studying ceremony. And then they would

8:22

have babies. And I would do

8:24

baby naming ceremonies, you know, their

8:26

parents would pass and they would

8:28

say, can you do a funeral?

8:30

So it all happened really organically,

8:33

and in a beautiful way. What

8:35

I love though about your energy

8:37

amber and what you bring is

8:39

Everything is a celebration and even

8:41

with the you know, of course

8:44

being a celebrate that makes sense

8:46

But even with the end of

8:48

life stuff. So it's so smart

8:50

those of you who are listening

8:52

and watching and you have if

8:54

you have aging parents Because it's

8:57

interesting that you say that with

8:59

your mother you you had things

9:01

planned because nothing is more nothing

9:03

makes you want to live more

9:05

than having something to live for

9:08

right that That's just it. And

9:10

it's interesting, you know, my mother

9:12

is 88, almost 88, and my

9:14

niece is getting married on her

9:16

88th birthday. And the moment they

9:18

decided that, I was like, okay,

9:21

so for this year, that's the

9:23

thing. And she's like, I can't

9:25

wait. We'll have to go shopping

9:27

for what am I going to

9:29

wear to Terrin's wedding. But the

9:32

whole idea of continuing to zero

9:34

in on quality of life. Right,

9:36

because all of our lives are

9:38

better when we have something to

9:40

look forward to, right? Think about

9:42

your regular life. You guys have

9:45

a weekend planned way. No matter

9:47

what you're sort of trudging through

9:49

with other things, you're like, ah,

9:51

but I still have that to

9:53

look forward to. So I love

9:56

that idea of planting seeds of

9:58

joy. And then again, back to

10:00

the celebrating everything and with your

10:02

dad, making those moments count, you

10:04

know, really, being a part of

10:06

that experience in the end of

10:09

life. And what I want to

10:11

say to what you were saying

10:13

before Amber about the way in

10:15

this country we handle or don't

10:17

handle end of life. I think

10:20

we don't handle it very well,

10:22

right? There's so much about trying

10:24

to in this country for sure.

10:26

I mean I've not lived anywhere

10:28

else so I can only say

10:30

what I see here, but it's

10:33

like it's all about extending life.

10:35

It's all about living forever. And

10:37

I had recently, one of my

10:39

close friends died in January. of

10:41

2025 and I was, when she

10:44

got diagnosed a year before that,

10:46

I started myself, just like you

10:48

did with your mom, getting very

10:50

interested in end-of-life stuff where I

10:52

already was, you know, because 10

10:54

years older than me and my

10:57

husband, it's like, listen, nobody gets

10:59

out of here alive as we

11:01

say. So, right, I was, I

11:03

was already interested, but this was

11:05

different because I knew that what

11:08

my friend was diagnosed with. that

11:10

and she was already in compromised

11:12

health like we you know we

11:14

really we worked and tried to

11:16

get her like we were doing

11:18

a hell merry for the first

11:21

10 months of the year and

11:23

then it became apparent that hospice

11:25

was the only other choice and

11:27

I also interviewed during that time

11:29

hospice nurse Julie who has a

11:32

book out now called Nothing to

11:34

Fear and I found that to

11:36

be very helpful, but you've been

11:38

doing this for how long have

11:40

you been end of life, Dula?

11:42

Oh my goodness. 17 years, 18

11:45

years, officially. I mean, that's like

11:47

you really were sort of ahead

11:49

of the curve, but it's so

11:51

interesting that what inspired you was

11:53

anticipation of a personal loss for

11:56

yourself. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And it's

11:58

so interesting. You know, it's some

12:00

of the sweetest work I've ever

12:02

done. I mean, there's nothing more,

12:04

it's just an honor to be

12:06

with people in the last moments,

12:09

right? And also leading up to

12:11

that. time in their families. And

12:13

I learned so much about living

12:15

life through working with people that

12:17

are at the end. And it's

12:20

just very interesting how it all

12:22

has ended up in Sacred Cups

12:24

also, you know, and the daily

12:26

rituals that we do that keep

12:28

us living life in a way

12:30

that when we're at end of

12:33

life, we feel really proud. You

12:35

know, like, wow, I did everything

12:37

I wanted to do. I've lived

12:39

fully. I've told everyone that I

12:41

love, that I love them, right?

12:44

I've cleaned up anything that is

12:46

there, that is unfinished. I just,

12:48

you know, those clients are so

12:50

incredibly dear to me. And I

12:52

feel like they're continuing to teach

12:54

me, right from above. They're just

12:57

very, very, very, very dear to

12:59

my life experience and me personally.

13:01

So tell us a little bit

13:03

about though, because now the rituals,

13:05

now you have this coffee company

13:08

that you started with, your man,

13:10

that you started together, and you

13:12

traveled quite extensively. And for you,

13:14

coffee rituals in other countries and

13:16

cultures made this lasting impression. So

13:18

tell us a little bit about.

13:21

Like, what did you observe about

13:23

how different cultures sort of infused

13:25

meaning and connection in the act

13:27

of creating and drinking, like having

13:29

their own ritual around coffee? Yeah.

13:32

Well, the thing that's really cool

13:34

about coffee is it transcends cultures

13:36

and race. It's all over the

13:38

world. People are drinking coffee. And

13:40

what's beautiful about the coffee experience

13:42

is it's different. You know, it's

13:45

different in every culture. My very

13:47

first cup of coffee was in

13:49

Italy. I went with my uncle

13:51

Joe, and it was Cafe Florian,

13:53

one of the oldest coffee houses

13:56

in the world, actually the oldest

13:58

coffee house that's still operating. And

14:00

And what happened for me there

14:02

was I tried every single coffee,

14:04

right? My uncle was this wonderful

14:06

fabulous man that wanted me to

14:09

really live life and experience everything.

14:11

So he sat me down and

14:13

said, look, magic happens over coffee.

14:15

conversations happen over coffee. And he

14:17

told me the whole story about

14:20

coffee houses, right? And how these

14:22

are where ideas, you know, would

14:24

bloom and blossom poets would come.

14:26

It was just such a fascinating

14:28

conversation to me. And then he

14:30

told me some very important things

14:33

about his love for me. You

14:35

know, I didn't realize it at

14:37

the time, but he was diagnosed

14:39

with cancer and he ended up

14:41

passing the next year. And looking

14:44

back, I know he took me

14:46

there for a reason. He took

14:48

me there to have this sweet

14:50

conversation with me and for me

14:52

to try every kind of coffee

14:54

known to man, right? Because Italians

14:57

can do coffee. They have a

14:59

very, very deep respect for coffee.

15:01

And so that was one of

15:03

the first conversations that really shaped

15:05

my life, and it was over

15:08

a cup of coffee. To this

15:10

day, when I smell coffee, I

15:12

still can have those feelings, especially

15:14

when I'm in Italy. Of that

15:16

conversation, it takes me back there.

15:18

Italy, there was another memory from

15:21

Italy that was very sweet, and

15:23

that was Andrew and I were

15:25

living there a few years ago

15:27

in Florence for a short period

15:29

of time. I would go work

15:32

at a cafe every morning. I

15:34

do my work, do my emails,

15:36

and have my coffee. And one

15:38

day I needed to go somewhere.

15:40

So I asked my guy, I

15:42

said, can you make, can you

15:45

give me a coffee to go?

15:47

And he was like, oh, he

15:49

said, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, we

15:51

do not take our coffee to

15:53

go. And he said, it was

15:56

so cute, Terry. He was out.

15:58

I will remember it forever. He

16:00

said, if we see someone drinking

16:02

their coffee on the street, we

16:04

think what has happened so badly

16:06

in their day that they could

16:09

not sit and be with their

16:11

coffee. And that conversation also really

16:13

shaped my life because, you know,

16:15

especially in the Western world, we're

16:17

so quick to be moving, you

16:20

know, grabbing the coffee and just

16:22

going. So Italian culture, absolutely beautiful.

16:24

coffee was brought to the Sufi

16:26

mistics, you know. Rumi, Rumi's Sufi

16:28

mistics would drink coffee. They would

16:31

whirl all night long and they

16:33

called coffee the elixir to God

16:35

and they would be able to

16:37

pray all night long, right? So

16:39

there's so many beautiful, beautiful coffee

16:41

cultures. And in Finland, Finland is

16:44

by the UN's happiest country standards.

16:46

Yeah. The Finland is number one

16:48

and also number one in coffee

16:50

consumption per capita. So I just

16:52

thought that was really interesting, right?

16:55

And like, coincidence? I don't know.

16:57

But they have a definite culture,

16:59

you know. They take their coffee

17:01

seriously and you take coffee with

17:03

friends. with community and I think

17:05

that's a big part of the

17:08

beauty of coffee is it really

17:10

brings people together. It's interesting to

17:12

think about how even just thinking

17:14

about my own life with coffee

17:16

it's been such a central theme

17:19

I've been drinking it for so

17:21

very long and how my mother

17:23

to this day to this day

17:25

it's like the first thing that

17:27

she does to make a huge

17:29

pot of coffee when she wakes

17:32

up and growing up and all

17:34

of the memories all of the

17:36

early morning memories you can always

17:38

as soon as I smelled the

17:40

coffee I knew my mother was

17:43

up and she was always up

17:45

early but there's so much comfort

17:47

in the ritual and if I

17:49

look at my all of my

17:51

sisters have also incorporated and brought

17:53

that into their own lives and

17:56

we all have the same meaning.

17:58

You know, it's like, do you

18:00

want a cup of coffee? That

18:02

means we're going to sit down

18:04

and we're going to talk. We're

18:07

going to share. We're going to

18:09

tell stories. But there's something about

18:11

coffee itself, which, listen, I drink

18:13

tea, of course, but I never

18:15

felt the same. It never felt

18:17

the same to me. as because

18:20

I almost feel like the ritual

18:22

of the brewing of the coffee

18:24

and the grinding of the beans

18:26

and it's such a different ritual

18:28

than other things. So for you,

18:31

these, you know, I didn't realize

18:33

that you had this earlier experience

18:35

with your uncle. So you were,

18:37

again, you were, this was like

18:39

teing you up to sort of

18:41

co-found purity. So talk, talked to

18:44

us a little bit about co-found

18:46

impurity and how... what your focus

18:48

is in purity, because it's such

18:50

a different lens than I'd ever

18:52

seen before. Sure, yeah. Well, it

18:55

started, it's funny, it started as

18:57

an argument. Andrew and I had

18:59

an argument over my coffee consumption,

19:01

because he's British, he's a tea

19:03

drinker, and at the time I

19:05

had, this is after I lost

19:08

my mom and my dad, and

19:10

I had a lot of chronic

19:12

fatigue happening. And so I was

19:14

drinking a lot of coffee at

19:16

that time, and Andrew was assured

19:19

that it was my coffee that

19:21

was creating the problem. And granted,

19:23

I wasn't drinking organic. I mean,

19:25

no one really knew to even

19:27

drink organic back then, so it

19:29

probably was full of pesticides. But

19:32

I was convinced, I'm like, you

19:34

will not take away my coffee.

19:36

And we argued and argued. And

19:38

then finally I said, listen, I'm

19:40

a reasonable woman. If you can

19:43

bring me evidence that this is

19:45

hurting me, I will stop. He

19:47

got busy. He went to the

19:49

Vanderbilt Institute of Coffee and actually,

19:51

I mean, this is my man.

19:53

He took two. coffee scientists out

19:56

to dinner and said, this is

19:58

what I'm dealing with. I want

20:00

to, I want to, you know,

20:02

my wife, I'm very concerned about

20:04

her health. Can you tell me

20:07

about coffee? And what they shared

20:09

was that what the what the

20:11

public knows about coffee and what

20:13

science knows about coffee, there's just,

20:15

there's a gap. And so Andrew

20:17

got busy and decided he would

20:20

find the healthiest coffee for me.

20:22

and went to Brazil, met with

20:24

a coffee scientist there at the

20:26

University of Brazil and said, we

20:28

want to find this coffee for

20:31

my woman. She's drinking bad coffee.

20:33

We got to get this handled.

20:35

And what was interesting was... He

20:37

learned all of the properties that

20:39

had to be there and what

20:41

had to not be there, right?

20:44

And there wasn't a coffee that

20:46

was available, like no one was

20:48

doing coffee in that way. So

20:50

being the serial entrepreneur and the

20:52

hero, Andrew said, let me just

20:55

do this then. So we got

20:57

into coffee quite by accident, but

20:59

we saw a need. And that

21:01

was the beginning of purity. and

21:03

purity coffee is all about health.

21:05

It's all about the body. It

21:08

is all about making sure that

21:10

the physical body can really function

21:12

and perform at the highest level.

21:14

And it's been a wild ride.

21:16

It's been a big adventure for

21:19

us to do this together, working

21:21

with your spouse. fun and also

21:23

can be a lot, right? We

21:25

had to, talking about boundaries. Terry

21:27

Cole, we really had to, you

21:29

know, be sure like this is

21:32

us and we're in love and

21:34

we're partners in life and this

21:36

is us as partners in our

21:38

business. But it was an adventure

21:40

and it wasn't one that we,

21:43

no one was talking about coffee

21:45

and health at that time. So

21:47

we didn't know if it would

21:49

work. We had no idea if

21:51

it would be successful, but we

21:53

knew we had to do it.

21:56

And it has been. It has

21:58

been successful. Yeah. And so let's

22:00

talk about people sort of getting

22:02

on the bandwagon with around the

22:04

coffee and the health, like, because

22:07

I know that there's a lot

22:09

of medical people involved. Like, so

22:11

what, like, where are you guys

22:13

now with the health aspect of

22:15

it? Yeah. Well, we, we, there

22:17

is. you know this this philosophy

22:20

of making sure there's no bad

22:22

stuff in coffee right like you

22:24

don't want mold you don't want

22:26

my toxins you don't want the

22:28

bad stuff but there is a

22:31

way through farming and through taking

22:33

care of the soil and the

22:35

land like there's so much that

22:37

can be done to kind of

22:39

goose up all the good stuff

22:41

you know coffee is one of

22:44

the highest antioxidants in the in

22:46

the modern diet. The only thing

22:48

that's higher, I think, is rosemary,

22:50

and you would never sit down

22:52

and drink a cup of rosemary,

22:55

right? No. So what we do

22:57

is purity is we are obsessed

22:59

with how coffee is farmed, how

23:01

it is handled, what we can

23:03

do to really increase those antioxidants,

23:05

all the good stuff, well, of

23:08

course, minimizing the bad. And this

23:10

is something that we're looking at

23:12

all of the time. Got it.

23:14

All right. So from. from purity,

23:16

now there's a subbrand that is

23:19

really your thing. So tell us

23:21

a little bit about sacred cups.

23:23

Why the sacred cups? The vision

23:25

behind sacred cups. Tell us all

23:27

the things. Yeah. So from the

23:29

beginning, we would have our, we

23:32

call them our purity huddles. And

23:34

as Andrew was learning all about

23:36

the health benefits of coffee, he

23:38

would bring them to me every

23:40

morning. This was our ritual. he

23:43

would make the coffee and then

23:45

he would bring me the coffee

23:47

and the research and you know

23:49

that at that time we we

23:51

were it was kind of bittersweet

23:53

to be honest Terry because he

23:56

he he would bring me the

23:58

literature on Alzheimer's, right? I mean,

24:00

and Alzheimer's is one of the

24:02

things that coffee is really, really

24:04

great at helping to prevent. And

24:07

by this time, my dad had

24:09

passed, but that was, I was

24:11

like, okay, yes, we have got

24:13

to do this, we have got

24:15

to move forward. In Demetrio cancer,

24:18

how my mom passed. also one

24:20

of the cancers, one of the

24:22

seven cancers that coffee can help

24:24

prevent. So that really locked it

24:26

in for us. And that's when

24:28

we knew this is something that

24:31

we have to do, we have

24:33

to move forward. So we would

24:35

have research during these huddles. And

24:37

we would talk about health and

24:39

coffee and the science, but then

24:42

I would want to talk about

24:44

the history and the romance of

24:46

coffee. I'd want to talk about

24:48

like all the magic that happens.

24:50

over coffee with a friend or

24:52

with people that you love. I

24:55

would want to talk about the

24:57

magic. And I mean, this is

24:59

kind of funny, but if Andrew

25:01

Salisbury were a coffee, he would

25:03

be purity coffee. He's science, it's

25:06

factual, it's physical. If I were

25:08

a coffee, I would be secret

25:10

cups. You know, it's all about

25:12

the magic and about the love

25:14

and the connection and the mystery.

25:16

So we would be in these

25:19

huddles, he would be talking about

25:21

science and I would say, baby.

25:23

But we've got to do something

25:25

with this other part, you know,

25:27

like this other part that's so

25:30

good for the soul. And he

25:32

would look at me and say,

25:34

okay, but please, let me get

25:36

this part handled first. And then

25:38

eventually, purity is up and it's

25:40

running and it's moving and it's

25:43

solid and now it's time for

25:45

sacred. You know, purity takes care

25:47

of the health of the body.

25:49

Sacred takes care of the health

25:51

of the soul. The health of

25:54

the relationships, you know, we we

25:56

always say it sacred grounds the

25:58

body sues the soul and ignites

26:00

the journey Oh, I love that

26:02

so much who doesn't want an

26:04

ignited journey? I definitely didn't coffee

26:07

helps with that It sure does

26:09

at least my life. So let's

26:11

talk a little bit about there's

26:13

a particular blessing, sort of the

26:15

sacred cups blessing the ritual itself.

26:18

So let's just walk people through

26:20

because what I love about, listen,

26:22

for me, I'm definitely going to

26:24

be drinking my coffee either way.

26:26

I love the idea of bringing

26:28

in a ritual that is something

26:31

you can do every day that

26:33

is also pouring into its sort

26:35

of spiritual nourishment. on top of,

26:37

you're going to be drinking your

26:39

coffee anyway, so why not slow

26:42

it down? Why not listen to

26:44

the guy in Italy and not

26:46

take it to go? Why not

26:48

create the expansion, which is basically

26:50

what you're doing with sacred cups,

26:52

expanding into letting this be, like

26:55

we... We bring the magic, we

26:57

create the magic, we believe in

26:59

the magic in our lives, but

27:01

so much of it has to

27:03

do with what do you prioritize?

27:06

So let's talk about ritual, shall

27:08

we? Sure, it's my favorite topic.

27:10

Yes, so the coffee ritual and

27:12

what you said is absolutely true.

27:14

We're drinking coffee anyway, you know,

27:16

164 million Americans drink coffee every

27:19

morning, right? And some people have

27:21

a ritual. But a lot of

27:23

people don't, you know, a lot

27:25

of people, it's just grab the

27:27

coffee and go. So creating that

27:30

ritual is something that can be

27:32

incredibly soothing to every area of

27:34

life. And there are few things

27:36

that to set up your coffee

27:38

ritual, right? Like you need to

27:40

look at the elements, you know.

27:43

Anytime that we're working with ceremony,

27:45

we look at having elements present,

27:47

like light a candle for yourself.

27:49

Right? Like have some flowers that,

27:51

you know, that's the earth's element.

27:54

You also have water with the

27:56

flowers. You know, there, and coffee,

27:58

what's beautiful about actually making coffee

28:00

at home is, is it's alchemy.

28:02

and you're using all of the

28:04

elements, you know, you're using fire

28:07

and water, air, and so that

28:09

sets the stage. And then you

28:11

want to make sure that you're

28:13

creating and you're carving out some

28:15

space, right? I mean, one thing,

28:18

you know, I love your work

28:20

so much, Terry, and I learned

28:22

so much from you around boundaries,

28:24

and when I started working with

28:26

you and I met you. It

28:28

really had an effect on the

28:31

kind of ceremonies that I was

28:33

creating also because ceremony and ritual

28:35

is a boundary. It's a time

28:37

and space that we carve out

28:39

for ourselves that is ours, right,

28:42

and anyone else that we invite

28:44

in. So take some time to

28:46

create that space and then invite

28:48

all the senses. Make sure that

28:50

you have... smells that are beautiful,

28:52

essential oils. What are you touching?

28:55

You know, are you seeing beauty?

28:57

Are you hearing music? Taking time

28:59

to pay attention to all of

29:01

those. And would you add anything

29:03

to that? I think that, you

29:06

know, your description of it, like

29:08

it's when we were talking about

29:10

it before, is like taking a

29:12

sacred pause in the day and

29:14

that there's something about starting your

29:16

day with... that this is like

29:19

an intentional way of starting the

29:21

same way that the first thing

29:23

I do when I wake up

29:25

is I meditate and then move

29:27

into the coffee. But there's something

29:30

about being intentional that I think

29:32

changes things. And what you were

29:34

saying about the boundaries, I just

29:36

want to say what I've seen

29:38

in my practice and my groups

29:40

and my mastermind, is that when

29:43

we start carving out the time.

29:45

Like you said, having those boundaries

29:47

because it requires internal boundaries for

29:49

you to prioritize your morning ritual

29:51

and where you're like, I'm not

29:54

gonna self-abandon. Yes, maybe I'm gonna

29:56

rush, maybe it'll be a little

29:58

shorter today, but I'm not gonna

30:00

not do it. because someone else

30:02

needs something or whatever it is.

30:04

It's not just what is the

30:07

messaging for us. It's basically putting

30:09

your stake in the ground with

30:11

the universe that we are literally

30:13

saying this matters, my thoughts and

30:15

intentions matter, my gratitude matters, what

30:18

I'm creating matters, all by actually

30:20

doing it. Because we can't think.

30:22

our way into ritual. Like ritual

30:24

is just like boundaries. We actually

30:26

have to do it. There's no

30:28

wishing it to happen on its

30:31

own, right? We have to have

30:33

the experience. So I love the

30:35

idea of, you know, anybody listening,

30:37

if you don't have a morning

30:39

ritual, that this ritual, and we'll

30:42

put stuff in the show notes

30:44

for you from Amber, is something

30:46

that you can really just make

30:48

your own and you're drinking coffee

30:50

anyway, probably, why not just add

30:52

a ritual. Right? Yeah. Well, and

30:55

we have, I can lead you

30:57

through the Sacred Cups ritual that

30:59

that that we share. Would you

31:01

like me to do that? Yes,

31:03

please. So, yeah, it's just a

31:06

really beautiful way to start the

31:08

day. So once you've created the

31:10

container and you have your coffee,

31:12

the first thing that we like

31:14

to encourage people to do is

31:16

is give a moment to honor

31:19

the past. You know, we honor

31:21

the past, we hold the past,

31:23

we hold our journey, and we

31:25

ask that you look at two

31:27

things. You ask the question, who

31:30

is one person in my life

31:32

experience my journey that I want

31:34

to honor? you know I've done

31:36

so much work with the with

31:38

indigenous elders from many different traditions

31:40

and so much of this ritual

31:43

comes from them so I just

31:45

want to honor them and give

31:47

them some thanks but but the

31:49

thing that I love about about

31:51

working with these groups they they

31:54

They honor their ancestors. They honor

31:56

everything that came before. Like we're

31:58

all here on our own hero's

32:00

journey. And that journey is bumpy,

32:02

right? And it could be full

32:04

of heart breaks and things that

32:07

aren't so wonderful. But it's ours.

32:09

So every morning when we wake

32:11

up, taking a moment to honor

32:13

that journey. and pull one person

32:15

who has been an influence. It

32:18

can be someone you know, or

32:20

it can be an ancestor. It

32:22

can be someone that you just

32:24

met or someone very dear. You

32:26

get to choose, but honor one

32:29

person along the way. And then

32:31

you choose one part of your

32:33

own life experience that you want

32:35

to honor. It can be something

32:37

you're proud of, or it can

32:39

be something that needs a little

32:42

bit of tenderness. this morning, I

32:44

for some reason I remembered when

32:46

I was in eighth grade and

32:48

I was at the chalkboard and

32:50

I had to do a math

32:53

problem and I stink at math

32:55

and I remember like how scary

32:57

that was right? I don't know.

32:59

The thing that's really beautiful about

33:01

this ritual is your brain loves

33:03

it, your soul loves it, and

33:06

these things will just pop up,

33:08

right? And so I gave my

33:10

eighth grade self some love this

33:12

morning and I was like, wow

33:14

girl, that must have been hard.

33:17

I'm glad you don't really have

33:19

to use that algebra in real

33:21

life now. But you made it,

33:23

you survived. And so it's just,

33:25

you know, that first part is

33:27

honoring the past, honoring someone. That

33:30

has been there for you and

33:32

honoring then yourself, right? Then the

33:34

second piece, the second piece is

33:36

really getting into the present moment.

33:38

You know, the present moment is

33:41

where all of life unfolds, right?

33:43

And whether we're honoring the past

33:45

or dreaming of the future, it

33:47

all occurs right now in this

33:49

moment. So, you know, I've done

33:51

this with you before calling the

33:54

moment. You know, you look at

33:56

your phone and you're like, wow,

33:58

it's 133. And it's it's. 10th

34:00

of April and you and I

34:02

are here together in this moment

34:05

will never be again exactly like

34:07

this right so there's a preciousness

34:09

in that so calling the moment

34:11

really bringing yourself back into your

34:13

body into the grounding this is

34:15

a great time to take a

34:18

sip of coffee right and and

34:20

kind of bring yourself back into

34:22

the present moment into your body

34:24

and then the last piece is

34:26

is remembering forward your future. You

34:29

know what, I forgot one thing.

34:31

In the present moment, you call

34:33

the time, you know, what is

34:35

the date and what is the

34:37

time? And then you answer the

34:39

question, what am I loving in

34:42

my life right now? In my

34:44

present life? Like you can look

34:46

around, you can think about what's

34:48

happening in your life, and then

34:50

you, didn't you name that? Like

34:53

for me right now? My little

34:55

girl is 18. She's a senior

34:57

in high school. And so I

34:59

am appreciating every single moment because

35:01

we're counting days before she moves

35:03

on to college, right? So instead

35:06

of being in the fear of

35:08

the loss of her, I'm looking

35:10

at everything as, oh my gosh,

35:12

like she's still here right now.

35:14

I can go up to her

35:17

room and... cuddle her and like

35:19

she's here. So just soaking in

35:21

all of that, whatever it is

35:23

in your life that you're really

35:25

appreciating and loving. And then the

35:27

last one is remembering forward the

35:30

future. And this is something I've

35:32

learned from the elders, it's something

35:34

I've learned from my end of

35:36

life clients. You know, in the

35:38

indigenous world, oftentimes, you know, time

35:41

is not linear, right? They believe

35:43

we can go back. and we

35:45

can, with some love and some

35:47

reverence and some honor, things from

35:49

the past can be healed. And

35:51

also, we can pop into the

35:54

future and we can dream forward

35:56

the things that we're wanting, right?

35:58

And so the languaging in this

36:00

last part of the blessing is

36:02

really important. I remember forward one

36:05

dream for myself, right? Like I

36:07

am remembering forward one dream and

36:09

then you remember one dream for

36:11

the future generations. So you remember

36:13

wondering for yourself because honestly we

36:15

were meant to enjoy this life

36:18

and we were meant to celebrate

36:20

it and honor it and have

36:22

fun. So have a dream. You

36:24

like dream something for you. And

36:26

then. look at what is it

36:29

that I want for future generations?

36:31

Or even like I sometimes think

36:33

about Lila, what do I want

36:35

for her right now? Or I

36:37

think about her children or her

36:39

children's children. And what that does

36:42

for you is it puts you

36:44

in a place of really thinking

36:46

about the legacy that you're leaving

36:48

each day. You know, when I

36:50

do, when I really, you know,

36:53

have a beautiful remembering forward piece.

36:55

All day long I'm thinking, how

36:57

can I make the world better?

36:59

What can I do? Every action

37:01

is directed towards leaving this world

37:03

better than before I came. And

37:06

it just is a very sweet

37:08

way to open your day. You

37:10

move differently when you open in

37:12

this way. It's so deep, though.

37:14

The thing, what I love about

37:17

this ritual is that it's so

37:19

deep, but it's so accessible. So

37:21

part of it is... It doesn't

37:23

have to be complicated. We will,

37:25

you know, you guys, this will

37:27

all be in the show note,

37:30

so don't worry. But it's something

37:32

that we always want to do.

37:34

Like, there's a lot of what

37:36

I should do, quote unquote. I

37:38

feel like out here in this

37:41

self-help world where people are feeling

37:43

like they have to be doing

37:45

everything. I love this ritual because

37:47

it's so doable and it does

37:49

not take a long time to

37:51

do. And yet what you think

37:54

about, you bring about. Right what

37:56

you hold in your mind the

37:58

most is what you're creating in

38:00

your life in a lot of

38:02

ways And so I love that

38:05

we're we're hitting everything honoring and

38:07

gratitude and future tripping in a

38:09

positive way, which is just, those

38:11

are all the things you want

38:13

to do to create the life

38:15

that you want to create. And

38:18

you're doing it drinking amazing coffee,

38:20

like, well, it would be better,

38:22

you know. I love it. Okay,

38:24

so I'm going to ask you

38:26

a personal question. Then I ask

38:29

everyone on the show, which is,

38:31

personally, what has been your most

38:33

challenging boundary struggle? And if you

38:35

have overcome it, how have you

38:37

overcome it? Yeah. So for me,

38:39

as a little girl, I wanted

38:42

everyone around me to be happy.

38:44

When everyone around me was happy,

38:46

I felt like I could relax

38:48

and then I could be happy.

38:50

That was just kind of how

38:53

it was for me as a

38:55

little girl. So I took that

38:57

into my life and while it

38:59

served me in some way, right?

39:01

I got a lot done. You

39:03

know, I helped a lot of

39:06

people. You know, my story. I

39:08

helped a lot of people. I

39:10

got a lot done. And so

39:12

for me, my biggest boundary is

39:14

really taking care of myself. My

39:17

mom died. That's when I crashed.

39:19

It was actually right before we

39:21

started purity and I had no

39:23

energy. Nothing. I had given everything

39:25

that I could possibly give to

39:27

myself and I wasn't giving back

39:30

in any way. And so for

39:32

me, my biggest boundary is really

39:34

taking care of myself. staying in

39:36

my lane, right? What happened after

39:38

my dad passed was I decided

39:41

that my little brother needed a

39:43

lot of help from me, right?

39:45

And that I could manage his

39:47

life better than he could, right?

39:49

And he had taken care of

39:51

my dad during Alzheimer's and, you

39:54

know, he had some challenges and

39:56

I just... kind of took it

39:58

on to to manage his life

40:00

help him out right and and

40:02

it was actually after being with

40:05

you in Nashville that I went

40:07

to him and I apologize. And

40:09

I said, you know what? I

40:11

am so sorry for any time

40:13

that I acted like I knew

40:15

better for you and your life

40:18

than you did. And I'm so

40:20

sorry. And we had the first

40:22

genuine conversation that I think we've

40:24

ever had in my life. To

40:29

this day, we are, I talk

40:32

to him every single day. We

40:34

are, he's a, he's one of

40:36

my very best friends and that

40:38

would not have happened had I

40:41

not learned what I learned from

40:43

you about boundaries and about his

40:45

ability. Oh my God, Terry, he

40:47

is, he is beyond capable. He's

40:50

one of the wisest. Most beautiful

40:52

human beings on the planet. And

40:54

when I saw him as someone

40:57

I needed to rescue, none of

40:59

that was available. So you really,

41:01

you know, I have so much

41:03

love for you anyway, but just

41:06

for giving me that relationship with

41:08

my brother back was beautiful. And

41:10

since that time, I have so

41:12

much more capacity. You know, he

41:15

is on his own hero's journey

41:17

as we all are, right. and

41:19

just letting him be there and

41:22

do that and and and not

41:24

getting not I mean now that

41:26

I'm not involved in managing his

41:28

life look at what I can

41:31

create with coffee that's what I'm

41:33

talking about and you guys this

41:35

is so exciting that sacred cups

41:37

which is what we're talking about

41:40

this division of purity is debuting

41:42

a limited release available exclusively through

41:44

purity So and you because you're

41:47

listening and because you're here right

41:49

now, you can get a break

41:51

on it. So if you want

41:53

to go to purity coffee.com/Terry Cole,

41:56

you can learn more. You can

41:58

do your own morning ritual because

42:00

you'll have all the information that

42:02

you need. And if you put

42:05

in the code Terry Cole, which

42:07

you know how to spell, you'll

42:09

get 30% off your first purchase

42:12

of Sacred Cups Coffee through May

42:14

15th. Now, who doesn't want that?

42:16

That is a gift to you

42:18

from Amber Salisbury. So you're welcome.

42:21

Go to it. Purity Coffee.com/Terry Cole.

42:23

And Terry, can I just tell

42:25

you one thing about that coffee

42:27

that's important? It is sourced from

42:30

the Ponte Ingas in Colombia and

42:32

they are considered guardians of the

42:34

Amazon. They treat coffee in such

42:37

a beautiful way. They hold such

42:39

reverence for the plant. and shower

42:41

it with blessings. They know that

42:43

people will be drinking it. They

42:46

think about the people who will

42:48

be drinking this coffee. There's so

42:50

much intention. That's why it's a

42:52

beautiful coffee for a ritual because

42:55

it is built, designed, grown, nurtured

42:57

by people that live in that

42:59

realm of ceremony and ritual and

43:02

intention. So, so cool. I cannot

43:04

wait to go to puritycoffy.com/Terry Cole

43:06

and get my purity coffee. Actually,

43:08

my sacred cups coffee. Amber, thank

43:11

you so much for spending time

43:13

with us today and encouraging us

43:15

to slow the F down and

43:17

start our day with a sacred

43:20

pause, setting our intentions. We're going

43:22

to probably be drinking coffee anyway.

43:24

We might as well be doing

43:27

it this way. with Sacred Cup.

43:29

So thank you, thank you, thank

43:31

you, I really appreciate you. Thank

43:33

you Terry. If you like this

43:36

episode or you're a fan of

43:38

the show, the best way to

43:40

support it is to share it

43:42

on your social media outlets and

43:45

with your family and friends. And

43:47

if you're really feeling generous, feel

43:49

free to hop on over to

43:52

iTunes and give us a good

43:54

review. Thank you. Thank

43:56

you, thank you

43:58

for watching and

44:01

or listening. I

44:03

hope you have an amazing

44:05

week have an always, and care

44:07

of you. care of you.