0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to

0:02

the Tim Dillon show post

0:04

Thanksgiving extravaganza. I

0:06

hope you and your family had

0:10

a nice time. I do. I do. We

0:13

kid around a lot on this show and

0:16

we talk about some very dark things. But

0:19

I hope you and your family had a good

0:21

time at

0:23

Thanksgiving because

0:25

you know what most families are doing right now

0:28

instead of having Thanksgiving. And I, I'm

0:30

actually a little disturbed by this. Most

0:33

families are, are, they're doing away

0:35

with the Turkey and they're

0:38

just having sex with each other. Most

0:41

families in this country are having sex

0:43

with each other. Is

0:46

that right? Is that nice? I don't

0:48

think it is. Most

0:51

families are meeting up to

0:53

have an orgy instead of Thanksgiving

0:55

dinner, where you

0:57

would have a sweet potato, something

0:59

like that. They're meeting up to have sex

1:01

in the living room for hours, for

1:04

hours with each other.

1:07

It's that's incest. It's pedophilia.

1:10

There's other failures. So

1:14

I'm just saying to those of you

1:17

who are celebrating the old fashioned way

1:20

by eating a meal with your family and

1:22

not fucking them in the living room, and

1:26

it's not just, oh,

1:28

it's a different lifestyle.

1:33

Don't judge our holiday tradition. That's

1:35

what one of my friends said. I said, what are you and

1:38

your family do? He goes, we all have sex. I

1:40

go, that's sick. He goes, don't judge

1:42

our holiday tradition. Can

1:44

you believe that? He said that don't

1:47

judge our holiday tradition. I

1:49

like having sex with my own mother

1:51

on Thanksgiving in front

1:53

of my brother. We take turns on

1:55

our mother. All right. Anyway, let's talk

1:58

about tariffs. I

2:00

had a lot of, by

2:02

the way, I excused myself

2:05

from my own Thanksgiving. I

2:07

left. And I'm

2:09

not going to do a whole thing where I go

2:11

into it, but I'm just going to give you the

2:14

cliff notes because you do listen to the program and

2:16

they were insulting you. They actually attacked the listeners of

2:18

this show. And

2:21

listen, here's the thing.

2:23

I understand people are upset about the

2:25

outcome of the election. That is complete.

2:28

You are within your rights to be upset. You

2:30

are within your rights to be worried or nervous

2:32

or apprehensive about what's coming down the pike. There

2:35

are things that I may not agree with. I don't agree

2:37

with anybody all the time. So I'm

2:39

just handling things like an adult. I'm an

2:41

adult. And I don't think

2:43

that Donald Trump

2:46

is going to destroy the country. But

2:48

if he does, I will move to Tuscany. I've

2:51

said that before. I said, I'll go to Tuscany.

2:54

People think they corner me. They're like, what if you

2:56

ruined the whole country? I go, I already want to

2:59

go to Tuscany, even if it's fine. I

3:01

kind of am getting excited about Tuscany. Have you

3:03

gone on Instagram and seen Tuscany? We

3:06

have the pool and it's the Green Hills. Now

3:10

so the point is my

3:13

father's wife, they're very liberal people. And

3:17

I don't mean very liberal like liberal.

3:19

I mean like they

3:22

have dogs named Freddie, Maya and

3:24

Ruth. And the dogs are named

3:26

after Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Maya Angelou

3:28

and Frederick Douglas, the freed slave.

3:31

My father chases a Bijon

3:34

around the house named after Frederick

3:36

Douglas, the slave. And

3:39

him and his wife think it's OK. OK. That's

3:42

the cliff notes on who we're dealing with. Just

3:45

in case you're accusing me of being Maya

3:48

Angelou, who's a black woman person,

3:50

poet, who they've named a shitsuit

3:53

after. They're sick. I'm

3:56

sorry. It's a disease. Political

3:59

extremism is a disease. I have to call it out

4:01

if it's in my own family and

4:03

I love them But

4:07

it's a disease If

4:10

I was sitting around Thanksgiving and everybody had

4:12

a burka on I'd go what's going on

4:15

here. I'd call that out Ditto

4:19

if everyone was in the clan or whatever.

4:21

I'm just saying you're naming the dog Wasn't

4:25

Frederick Douglass. It wasn't he the

4:27

escaped slave You

4:30

don't know We have a

4:32

substitute producer who might adore but you have no

4:34

idea if that was the escape site and I

4:36

think it was right Isn't it? I

4:39

think he was the first black man in the White House. I think

4:41

that's true But

4:45

Am I calling him a slave for no reason because that's

4:47

where I'm gonna get into trouble Didn't

4:50

he he was a slave he started out Why

4:53

did my father and his wife get him up

4:55

on Wikipedia now, please? This is a show that

4:57

people are watching with their families I'm

5:00

gonna call him Frederick Douglass He

5:02

was an abolitionist Let's

5:06

see what was going on. Yes,

5:08

he escaped from slave. I know what I'm doing Why do I

5:10

second-guess myself and waste precious time? My father and his wife have

5:12

a dog named after this escaped slave Is

5:17

that right? Is that okay? Is

5:19

that not sick? There's

5:22

a level of political that's

5:24

your get sick and All they talk about

5:26

is these dogs All boomers

5:29

care about right now is dogs.

5:31

Have you noticed this? Boomers

5:34

could not be bothered with their

5:36

children They couldn't be bothered

5:38

with it Any

5:41

boomer ever that if you ask them about their kids, oh

5:45

I gotta cart them off to karate

5:47

and then dance and then swim practice

5:51

Football it never ends. When do I have

5:53

time to sit in the house and? drink.

6:01

They never cared at

6:04

all for their children. But I think

6:06

as they're nearing, thankfully, the

6:08

grave, as they're nearing

6:10

the grave, they realize they

6:12

should care for something on this

6:14

earth besides themselves. And

6:17

it is a dog. This is

6:19

anyone who has a boomer parent kind of knows

6:21

this. And it's not that we don't love them,

6:23

by the way. This is just we've accepted. We

6:25

all accept. As

6:28

the boomers are careening towards

6:31

the cliff and

6:33

their own mortality, which by the way, I

6:35

will say from meeting them at my mother's

6:37

funeral, they are taking it

6:40

in stride. Like millennials

6:42

are terrified

6:45

of googling rare diseases. How does it end?

6:47

Will I have done enough? Zoomers

6:49

are just so everything's death with them. I

6:51

mean, the school shootings, they're mired in death

6:54

and nihilistic. It's not a, I mean, the

6:56

guy next to them is foaming at

6:59

the mouth on fentanyl and math. They're

7:01

really bleak, the zoomers. But

7:03

the boomers are very interesting because they

7:05

really are marching towards death in kind

7:08

of a very calm and peaceful way.

7:10

They've, they came, they saw, they conquered.

7:12

They came to a planet and destroyed

7:14

it. And now they're ready to leave.

7:16

And, and so, but

7:19

they, before they leave, they want to

7:21

love one thing outside of themself and

7:24

it is dogs. Every

7:26

older boomer I know has gotten

7:28

a new dog and keeps calling

7:30

their child to tell

7:32

them about the dog, how amazing the

7:35

dog is, how, how life-changing

7:37

it's been to have a dog. Oh,

7:40

we're at the dog beach. We love

7:42

the dog. You got to see the way

7:44

this dog relates to the other dog. These

7:47

are people who they're

7:49

more concerned when their dog starts choking

7:51

than they were when their kid was

7:53

hit by a car. This is true.

7:57

And so they have these dogs. They

7:59

bring out Everywhere they bring when they go

8:01

somewhere they bring dogs. They set up cages.

8:03

Maybe they bring three dogs They live an

8:05

hour from me. They get

8:07

dog cages and dogs Dogs

8:10

are running around the house or shitting in house in

8:13

a house the dogs That

8:15

I don't have and don't want and don't care about little

8:18

shit. Soo bijon not cool It's

8:20

not like Huskies in st. Bernard's not an Irish Center It

8:23

would take a little pieces of shit little rats Little

8:27

rats named after escaped

8:29

slaves, okay They

8:33

come over 48 hours or they come over on

8:35

Wednesday for Thanksgiving Wednesday afternoon to do cooking his wife

8:37

wants to do cooking She doesn't do any cooking. She

8:39

brings over food and heats it up There's

8:42

not there's no cooking I

8:44

get depressed with what's going on now

8:47

With the holidays don't offer to cook

8:50

if you're not cooking. Sorry, just don't

8:52

do it I'll have

8:54

a catered Something don't offer

8:56

to cook if you're not cooking. It's rude.

8:58

It's disrespectful It's wrong and a lot of

9:00

people are bothered by it. Don't go

9:02

to the grocery store and get a bunch of shit and heat it

9:04

up I could do that. Don't do that.

9:06

Don't do that. It's wrong. It's Disrespectful

9:11

my family we come from

9:13

a great tradition of great restaurants and My

9:15

uncle has been so kind to us and he's been

9:18

so good to us because he's in the restaurant business

9:20

and my grandmother was an Amazing cook and

9:22

would cook she would slave

9:25

over that. She'd Frederick Douglass over the

9:27

stove for hours Mashing

9:29

potatoes and chopping celery and carrots

9:31

and making homemade stuffing So

9:33

if you're gonna cook that's kind of what I

9:35

expect not getting a bunch of stuff and heating

9:38

it up Sorry, not sorry. Sorry not sorry. Sorry

9:40

not sorry Okay Love

9:43

and light again. Love and light.

9:45

Love and light peace. Love light

9:47

holiday spirit No, no problems. Just

9:50

you show up with food in a

9:52

crate That you heat up. It's

9:55

disgusting and then you

9:57

complain that you're cooking. It's like this

10:00

is the house these people are their

10:02

psychopaths their psychopaths and again she's not

10:04

negative but if

10:07

you're claiming that you're cooking and you're not

10:09

cooking and you're talking

10:11

that you're cooking you're a psychopath it

10:13

would be like if I was talking about working out all

10:16

day if I came in and I just got in from

10:18

a run it somebody

10:20

would call that out and go but you

10:22

no one so when were you running no

10:25

one saw this and

10:28

it would be like if everyone in the house was

10:30

a good for you running what route you take where'd

10:33

you go you go up 27 you make a laugh

10:36

instead of someone going what running

10:39

have you done in your life like but

10:42

she's talking about cooking like it's happening this

10:44

is what's bothering me this

10:46

is what's bothering me can I be honest yes or yes

10:49

she's talking about couldn't like to having my father is

10:51

talking to his slave dog who he's

10:54

chasing around the backyard with

10:56

the Maya Angelou and the Ruth

10:58

Bader Ginsburg and the Underground

11:01

Railroad of the canine Underground Railroad that

11:03

they got running through the backyard my

11:05

house now

11:09

so which they had to come to I would have gone to theirs

11:11

they had to come to my love it

11:13

love it love it want to come to my house I didn't

11:15

want them I didn't want them don't want them love them love

11:17

them but no one needs house guests I'm 39 gonna be 40

11:19

soon nobody wants house guys nobody

11:21

wants it I'm

11:23

telling you right now when someone says why don't you

11:26

come over they don't mean it if

11:28

they're 20 they mean it they don't mean it at

11:30

40 they don't want you there they do not want

11:32

you there they want you there for a dinner not

11:35

a sleepover this is not a frat party

11:38

nobody's roofing anybody okay this is not

11:40

a bring out the Narcan and let's

11:42

have fun this is come over for dinner

11:44

and then get to step in remember

11:47

the great show Martin with Martin Lawrence he

11:49

had some issues with Tisha Campbell but you know it doesn't

11:51

matter he had a great show and he used

11:53

to throw everyone out of his house and I understand and respect

11:56

that so my father's out

11:58

there with his slave dog and then a wife I

12:00

was a lovely lady, but she keeps talking about

12:02

cooking. I'm cooking all day. So

12:05

hard to cook. She has crates from the market.

12:09

My cousin and her went to the market and they got

12:11

all this food that she's heating up

12:13

in an oven. They

12:16

bought a turkey. It's all fake. The

12:19

stuffing is Pepperidge Farm. It's fake. This

12:21

is the way people eat in trailer parks. This

12:24

is the way people eat in trailer and by the way, if

12:26

you're in a trailer park, God bless you. I'm

12:29

not going at you because we're going to get to

12:31

a leadism shortly and I'm not that

12:33

guy. I

12:36

love trailer parks. My

12:39

point is this. This is the way people eat

12:41

in the trailer park. People

12:43

in trailer parks are agreeing with me. Pepperidge

12:45

Farm stuffing. That ain't it. That

12:48

ain't it. You ate better

12:50

than that yesterday and you were with a bunch of

12:52

people that weren't even white, right? Correct.

12:56

So she brings over like, you know,

12:59

this is a lady who God bless her, but

13:01

this woman who one time for my birthday served

13:03

me Tostitos scoops. Me and my

13:05

friend came over to her house. Remember to Tostitos scoop. Food

13:08

can be a thing to show love to someone, but it's also a

13:10

way to spit on them. It's a way to spit on someone and

13:12

show them that you hate them. Or

13:15

you're jealous of them or whatever. I don't know. You hate them

13:17

or whatever. I don't know what the problem is. I got a

13:19

guess. I should have been in

13:21

the street. Dad, they wanted me in the street on junk and

13:24

I'm in Hampton. They don't love that. They would. They'd rather

13:26

me be dead. They want me. They wish every Thanksgiving. They

13:28

went to a grave of me in it. Okay,

13:31

that's what they want. No offense.

13:34

Now the, what was I

13:37

talking about? What was I saying? I

13:39

was making a point about was it

13:41

a little putting a scoop Tostitos scoops.

13:44

Yeah, the scoop. I have some

13:46

to say was sticky toffee pudding later, but that's later. The

13:50

Tostitos scoop. So my birthday one year when I wasn't doing well,

13:52

by the way, when they called me once a year. When

13:55

I wasn't doing well, they had me over for my birthday

13:57

because they probably by accident found out it was my birthday.

14:00

And they and I came over and they had to and I

14:02

went with Ray comp and me and Ray comp Went to the

14:04

house and we were stunned we were

14:06

stunned. She served tostito scoops scoops

14:10

and the scoop and

14:13

then with like some loose beef and

14:16

like Heated up cheat,

14:18

but it was crazy bad me

14:20

and my friend Melanie went once she

14:23

had like ham sandwich But like cold

14:25

and me and you went recently Me

14:28

and you went recently and it was

14:30

cold chicken cutlets that were in the

14:33

refrigerator that she cubed up Like

14:35

they were gonna be served to Ruth Bader Ginsburg the

14:38

dog. Everything was freezing It

14:41

is not if you cannot cook stop cooking

14:44

don't cook we're not here to

14:46

delude you I don't I

14:48

don't I'm not I'm not out

14:50

there talking about my flair

14:52

with a Jujitsu

14:57

that I'm great at it. Well, my friends are a lot of

14:59

my friends are good at it, but I'm not

15:01

doing that You know why I don't do jujitsu. I'm not good

15:03

at it. So I don't say

15:05

I'm good at it I'm not lying and

15:08

I don't want it to be Accepted

15:11

when someone says something that's blatantly untrue. I

15:13

don't have the emotional investment in like propping

15:15

up your lies and your bullshit so

15:21

But Here's the problem.

15:24

I'm not gonna be insulted in my own home I'm not

15:26

gonna have the audience of the show insulted and I'm

15:28

not gonna have my friends insulted Okay,

15:32

I Don't care that

15:34

you're unhappy with the election. That's not my fault. I

15:36

told you I put you in a good sell I

15:38

told you I get you a good sell and I

15:40

and a key ring anyway hearing, but I'm not making

15:43

promises Her

15:45

Parents come in these

15:47

are very very liberal people which I

15:49

think is great. I

15:52

have so many friends of All

15:54

different political persuasions. I'm friends with

15:56

everyone Communists

15:58

capitalists libertas Latarians radical

16:01

Jews Nazis black Israelites

16:04

all my friends It's

16:08

America, it's 2025 we have

16:11

a communal table where everyone's welcome That's

16:14

what I want a Thanksgiving of

16:16

all the types She's

16:20

their daughter's their daughter's environmental lawyer, they don't talk

16:22

these people either they don't say anything they just

16:25

sit silently And

16:27

then my dad will say something and then her daughter will be like

16:29

you like RFK My

16:31

desert I like some of the things he says so

16:33

it's that energy. It's that energy in my house It's

16:37

my home It's

16:40

my home don't insult

16:42

RFK in my home He's

16:45

my friend It's

16:50

true And

16:54

you're actually allied with RFK she made a bunch

16:56

of food no one could eat It

16:59

was the healthiest Thanksgiving I've ever had So

17:03

are there so the parents her parents come

17:05

in and they start in

17:08

First of all, I make I make a play. I

17:10

refuse to eat the food. I sit down

17:12

at the table. It's an edible It's cold and it's an

17:14

edible. I won't do it life is

17:17

too short. I'm 39

17:19

people I know are Going

17:21

through horrible things. Some of them are not. I don't

17:23

really know anyone going through a horrible thing I'm just my

17:26

point. I don't even know why I'm saying that the

17:28

point is this My

17:31

point is that there are people out there going through all

17:33

kinds of things Life is

17:35

too short for this bullshit It's

17:38

too short if your

17:41

family cannot accept you you have

17:43

to just find a way To

17:45

just just live and let live

17:47

and not everybody has to love everybody all

17:50

the time and not everybody has to be

17:54

In everyone's face and it's not negative there's no

17:56

there's no baggage with it But if you cannot

17:58

sit through a dinner that going

18:00

off on the election and losing your mind,

18:03

then I can't have you at the home. I'm

18:06

sorry, it's rational. You

18:10

have to behave like a rational adult. And

18:13

I feel for these people on the left,

18:15

man, because they don't understand why they lost.

18:17

They still don't get it. It's because the

18:19

only thing you people have left is a

18:21

smug sense of superiority and

18:24

most people would rather die than agree

18:26

with you. They'd rather give up their

18:28

rights and walk into the fire than

18:31

spend five minutes with you because

18:33

you cunts are so smug and

18:36

superior and it's based in nothing. It's

18:38

based in the fact that you went

18:40

to a fucking four-year college and someone

18:42

stamped a fucking degree on a piece

18:44

of paper so you can sit at

18:47

a big Fortune 500 firm and

18:50

lecture everybody else about trannies. Shut

18:53

up. It's Thanksgiving. Cook

18:55

the food, it's called. I

18:59

don't give a shit. I'm

19:01

sick of this crap. I'm a

19:03

literal faggot. Do you understand? Suck

19:05

cock faggot. I don't care

19:07

about this queer model. You white chicks are

19:09

queer. It's fake. It's all fake. Chapel

19:13

Road's probably not a lesbot. That

19:16

kid in heart warmer heart, whatever it

19:18

is on Netflix, he ain't a faggot either. The

19:20

kid conic, they lie. They're lying

19:22

about everything. It's fine. It's

19:25

fine with lying too. Keep lying. The

19:27

public doesn't deserve honesty, but

19:30

don't come and lecture me. Tell me you're

19:32

queer and you found out five minutes

19:34

ago that you're queer and you're dating a

19:36

guy and now you know

19:38

everything about the struggle or whatever the

19:40

hell you think you're in, whatever

19:42

movie you think you're the lead character in,

19:45

it bothers everybody, okay? If

19:48

you can't make it through a dinner without

19:51

misbehaving, like

19:57

a dog, you must go. have

20:00

to eat outside. That's all.

20:03

This is advice. Life is

20:05

too short. If people are going to insult

20:07

you and your friends and

20:10

everybody else and

20:12

they're gonna be miserable and they're gonna sit

20:14

there and be doom and gloom and misery

20:16

and fill your life with misery because they're

20:19

miserable and they're upset and they

20:21

want to... So here's what... I'm gonna tell you what

20:24

happened. I wasn't gonna even discuss

20:26

it. I wasn't gonna discuss

20:28

it but I have to discuss it. I

20:30

have to discuss it because this is not

20:32

me in my life. This is you in your life and

20:34

everyone's life. By the way, over the next few months this

20:37

is not rare. This will not be rare and it will

20:39

not be new. You will

20:41

experience this and it's okay. Okay?

20:45

It's okay. I'm

20:48

telling you how to deal with this. Get

20:50

in your Bentley and go to the diner. Telling

20:53

you right now. I'm sitting

20:56

there at my table eating cold food that

21:00

was not cooked. It was heated up but

21:02

not heated up. It was out on the table at 10 30

21:04

a.m. It was out at the table at 10

21:06

30 in the morning and then

21:09

the turkeys finished at 5. I was

21:11

invited to the Kennedy House. I didn't go.

21:13

I didn't go to Thanksgiving with Bobby

21:15

and Cheryl so that I could sit here with

21:18

these liberals and their cold

21:20

food and their scowls and

21:23

their dogs named after slaves.

21:28

How dare they? That's not appropriate. That's not

21:30

okay. That's not allowed. Do you

21:33

think black people would feel good if they

21:35

said meet my dog? It's named after Frederick

21:38

Douglass and the other one's named after Maya

21:40

Angelou? Is that all right? Is that allowed?

21:42

It's a disease. You

21:44

people have a disease. We're

21:49

sitting at the table. I've

21:51

made a plate. I cannot eat it because it's

21:53

cold and the food is disgusting. My

21:56

cousin's eating it. God love her. God bless her

21:58

but she also says this is disgusting. and they

22:00

start going, so who listens to your podcast? What's

22:04

the demographics? Do they have

22:06

college degrees? Are they college educated?

22:09

The people that listen to your podcast go, yeah, a lot of them

22:11

are. I said,

22:13

I don't really give a fuck. You know, and

22:15

instead of like flying off the handle, you know, they paid

22:17

for the house you're sitting in right now. The people that

22:20

listen to the show and they come see me do standup

22:22

and all this shit, they're like, oh, I'm not gonna do

22:24

that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna

22:26

do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. I'm

22:28

gonna do that. They're gonna see me do

22:30

standup and all this shit, but I knew where they were

22:32

going. This is all they have left by the way. All

22:34

they have left is this. By the way,

22:36

once all of these people are thrown in the street, burned

22:39

like the witches they are, the Democrats

22:41

can get new people and they can be a viable

22:43

party again. And I think we need a two-party system,

22:45

but you have to burn the witches. You

22:48

have to burn the witches. One

22:50

of the people there, this woman's daughter said to me, she goes,

22:52

do you spend a lot of time in the Hamptons during the

22:54

winter? I said, no. She goes, why? I

22:57

said, because it's cold and dark and there's nobody around

22:59

and nothing's open. She goes, well, I would like that.

23:01

I go, oh good, but that's the life of a

23:03

witch. That's the way a

23:05

witch lives in the woods, all alone in the dark.

23:08

I don't want that. It's Thanksgiving.

23:10

No demons, no demonology, no

23:13

Satanism. Thank you. That's all

23:15

I'm asking. Is that too much to ask? Hot

23:17

food, no Satanism, please? Thanks. Now,

23:21

I'm at the table and they start in. The

23:24

level of education and how many people

23:26

listen to this? And I go, well, we

23:29

get well over a million every week.

23:31

Millions, lots. Well, do they have

23:34

college education? Are they college education? And they kept

23:36

hammering this. And I knew where they were going

23:38

and I know what they're doing. And

23:40

this is what they are convinced that

23:42

the fake thing

23:44

they set up, where you,

23:46

by the way, it's amazing to see

23:48

liberals defend the war industry, the pharmaceutical

23:51

industry and the toxic food industry. It's

23:53

amazing to watch them defend all those. Now they're

23:55

also defending the importance of the college

23:58

slush funds. Sally

24:00

May scam where people are tricked

24:02

into taking out $200,000 loans to

24:05

get degrees of communications from the

24:07

new school Binghamton new house, whatever

24:09

and So

24:12

I'm sitting there and all they have left

24:14

is this sense of Status

24:17

that has been bestowed on them

24:19

by a school and To

24:24

me the most interesting people I've ever met in

24:26

my life Some of them have been college educated.

24:28

Some of them haven't some of the most the smartest

24:31

people I've ever met I'm not college

24:33

educated a lot of my friends dropped out of college

24:35

a lot of my friends. I have friends that went

24:37

to Harvard so To

24:40

me it is not about that at all. It's

24:43

not about that, but there is

24:45

this very weird thing

24:48

where the Democrats are running around going everyone

24:50

that has college degrees voted for us and Everyone

24:53

who didn't in idiot and

24:56

all the people that we pretend to care about

24:58

like the workers and minorities that

25:01

are working at In

25:04

labor and in the service sector and all the

25:06

people that we care about that. We don't actually

25:08

care about them We think they're idiots They're

25:11

actually idiots and

25:13

we like college educated People

25:18

Need so it need not apply if you don't have a

25:20

college degree, I guess you don't need to apply They

25:23

don't want to speak to you because you're not gonna Understand

25:26

their gender gobbledygook or you're not gonna

25:28

understand whether Ukraine needs another trillion dollars

25:30

by the way, you're too dumb You're

25:33

too dumb to understand how men can

25:35

get pregnant That's

25:37

only for really smart scientific people that

25:40

have graduated a four-year University,

25:43

okay, you mouth breather.

25:45

You don't get it You don't

25:47

get why Israel needs another 90

25:50

billion dollars to put the Palestinians

25:52

on skewers and then Make

25:54

a little kabobs out of all the Palestinian children, which is

25:56

what they're doing, but you won't get it

26:00

So they start in on that stuff. They start in

26:02

on it. And I, because my father's there, I'm not

26:04

gonna be a dick. I

26:07

said, listen, I text

26:09

my cousin, I go, get your stuff. I

26:12

excuse myself. I went upstairs, I

26:14

got my stuff. I had brought two pies

26:16

from the Jericho Cidermill, apple crumb pies. I stole them on

26:19

the way out. And I took them

26:21

out through the garage into the Bentley. I put my cousin in,

26:23

we got out. Then we went to

26:25

my other cousin's house. We had a lovely Thanksgiving with his mother,

26:27

whom we adore and love. But I'm not, and

26:29

I didn't make a scene at all. I just said, we have to

26:31

go. It was a little startling. It was abrupt. Said

26:33

we have to go to prepare for the new regime. I

26:36

did say that. I did say we must

26:38

prepare for the new regime. I

26:41

don't, I'm not gonna sit here while they insult

26:43

people. It is really the shittiest thing in the

26:45

world to go to somebody's

26:47

house and to try to insult them

26:50

and say, you're an idiot and the people you

26:52

talk to are idiots. You're allowed to feel that

26:54

way. Feel that way from your own house, which

26:57

isn't in my neighborhood. Feel that way anywhere you

26:59

want. Feel that way when you lose another five

27:01

swing states. Maybe you lose another, maybe, you know,

27:03

you lost some popular. Now every article is like,

27:06

well, we didn't really lose that much, it wasn't

27:08

that big of a, you lost every swing state

27:10

and the guy won the popular vote. You lost

27:12

the Senate and you

27:15

lost the house. You

27:17

lost it all. Well, it actually wasn't

27:19

that bad. So

27:23

I'm just saying, if people cannot conduct

27:25

themselves appropriately, you do not have

27:27

to have them in your home. I spent

27:29

a long time in my life believing

27:31

that to be a good person, you

27:34

had to tolerate people's behavior just because

27:36

you knew them. And these aren't even

27:38

family members. These are extended family, married

27:41

in. This is not nuclear, it's

27:43

not blood. These are these divorce

27:45

families that don't really work by the way. Some

27:47

of them do, a lot of them don't, okay?

27:50

A lot of them just don't. When you're at

27:52

a Thanksgiving, you don't know who to hell's who.

27:54

It's not ideal. Pass

27:57

the gravy, stranger. But

28:02

I'm just saying if you're gonna, and you're

28:04

gonna insult Rogan and all these people and

28:06

say this and that, you gotta go, you

28:08

gotta go. We

28:10

don't need you here. We don't need you here.

28:12

I could have been at the

28:15

Kennedy's. Grandma attacks family stabs daughter during

28:17

Thanksgiving argument. Well, I didn't go in

28:19

this direction, but I could have. 55-year-old

28:23

Memphis grandmother arrested for

28:25

Thanksgiving melee. They

28:28

say grandma was heavily intoxicated before

28:31

stabbing granddaughter and hitting grandson. Let's

28:33

listen to this. Let's see

28:36

if my, yeah, go, go

28:38

back. We're gonna start this again because I

28:41

like these happy Thanksgiving

28:44

stories because by the

28:46

way, it's not always gonna be

28:50

love and light and

28:52

peace on earth and goodwill to men. Sometimes

28:56

it's gonna be get

28:59

your blade and do what

29:01

you will. And

29:04

we have to love this country in

29:07

all manifestations.

29:10

And we have to love that. We

29:12

can't demand always a Thanksgiving

29:15

where everyone's happy. Sometimes

29:18

we have to demand a Thanksgiving where there is

29:20

justice. Let's watch. This all

29:22

happened on Delta Road around 3 this

29:24

afternoon. FOX 13's Sierra Jordan breaks down

29:26

the moments leading up to this incident.

29:31

Police say grandmother stabbed two of her

29:33

family members after a verbal argument happened

29:35

inside their home on Delta Road. The

29:37

neighbors I spoke with were shocked to

29:39

find crime scene tape blocking off their

29:41

street as they were celebrating

29:44

Thanksgiving with their loved ones. And

29:47

it's just kind of unfortunate to

29:50

have to go through this on Thanksgiving Day. James

29:53

Stevens and his family were enjoying

29:55

their Thanksgiving Day meal until they

29:57

were interrupted by the sound of

29:59

sirens. coming from outside and w

30:02

all the tape around. Got

30:07

off down there. Those sir responding

30:09

to an aggravate on

30:12

Delta Road just after say

30:15

a woman and her mother various

30:17

things, including her

30:20

son. Then police say attacked

30:22

her with a knife The

30:26

victim suffered abrati moments

30:29

later, the suspect grandson

30:32

with a knife in thumb.

30:35

That is when the g the

30:38

scene before officers around

30:41

Memphis is still v

30:47

to watch yourself on every here

30:50

in our own home and family,

30:54

getting together, never

31:00

this. Right? Right. I

31:06

withhold judgment beca did

31:08

to that woman before s I

31:11

have no idea what they d they ask her about

31:13

her co did

31:15

they do to her? You d knife.

31:18

I'm not saying it' right.

31:21

I'm saying you don' knife on Thanksgiving. Y

31:25

to picking up a knife. O

31:29

ideal. I'm just saying, h I

31:35

want to hear from the g of

31:37

the boom mic through t talk

31:41

to grandma. I want t grab

31:43

the knife on Thanksgiving are

31:48

pushed. People are pu you

31:52

have to create a spac they

31:56

say wicked. They go I'm

32:00

holding space. That's right. Yeah. I'm

32:03

holding space. What does that mean? That's

32:05

holding space for what? So it's for

32:07

the song Defying Gravity. Yes. So

32:09

people are holding space with it. That's

32:11

the context of the sentence. What is the meaning of

32:13

that? I

32:16

think it's up for your interpretation. It's

32:18

like holding space for people that are marginalized.

32:21

Is that what it is? Does

32:25

anyone know? All right. I don't care

32:27

that much. I think it's

32:29

one of those things where it's

32:31

like holding space for people that

32:33

for trauma, for people

32:35

that have trauma and

32:38

people that want trauma. A lot of people want trauma

32:40

in this kind. Let's be honest. A lot of people

32:42

are go, where is trauma? Where I'm going for it.

32:45

A lot of people want trauma in this country. They

32:47

indulge in it. They roll around in it like a

32:49

little pig and they want

32:52

it. And we have industries upon

32:54

industries built on getting

32:56

it out of them and then dousing them in it

32:58

so they can never escape it. Museum

33:02

of ice cream. Near and

33:04

dear to my heart, the Museum of ice cream. I love them. They

33:06

are now being sued over the sprinkle pool because

33:09

a weak father, this freak,

33:12

he said he was injured jumping into the

33:14

so-ho sprinkle pool. I

33:16

really dislike people, by

33:18

the way, who ruin

33:21

a good thing for everyone.

33:24

Let me tell you exactly what this is. Okay.

33:27

In New York, which used to be the cultural

33:29

epicenter of the world, but is now a large

33:32

hatchet throwing installation, as far as

33:35

I can tell. That's

33:37

what New York has become now, by the way.

33:39

It's escape rooms and come throw the hatchet and,

33:42

oh, look, it's Harry Potter on Broadway.

33:45

It's hell here. It's become a hell. But

33:49

it's a big Chase bank where you can

33:51

throw the hatchet while they run your credit.

33:54

That's what Manhattan has become. So in

33:56

the middle of Manhattan, they decided to

33:58

build something called the Museum of Ice

34:00

ice cream and

34:03

people go there and they jump in a sprinkle

34:05

pool this is what the

34:08

greatest city in the world is doing by the

34:10

way and these two

34:12

news anchors are gonna with a

34:15

straight face okay talk to you

34:17

about the Museum of I and by the way

34:20

and thankfully we now have the raising

34:22

canes global headquarters in Times Square everything

34:25

they said the city was gonna become it is

34:27

becoming let us watch

34:30

this father who

34:33

injured himself in the sprinkle pool

34:36

at the museum which my fat old agent took me

34:38

to fatty boom baddie god

34:40

lover she hates when I say things about her

34:43

she was a great agent lover lover lover and

34:46

she took me cuz she had she had a

34:48

couple of fatty boom baddies as clients and we

34:50

went to the Museum of ice cream and the

34:52

Museum of ice cream isn't great because

34:55

here's the thing about fatty boom baddies they don't

34:57

really give a shit like

34:59

it's like it's

35:02

not like hey let it's

35:04

like hey where's the sample no

35:07

one cares that much it's not Willy

35:09

Wonka and the chocolate factory here we don't

35:11

give a shit we want the

35:13

ice it's like the Ben and Jerry's tour we

35:15

don't care let's go to

35:17

let's skip till the end how about we go

35:19

to the boutique let's skip let's skip

35:22

till we go to the boutique okay we

35:24

don't care but yeah yeah yeah they're communists

35:26

we get it they're communists they like mint

35:28

great let's skip where's the

35:30

scoop shop the

35:33

sprinkle pool at the Museum of ice cream is

35:35

now at the center of a lawsuit a

35:37

father is claiming he was injured earlier this

35:40

year when he jumped in Christi

35:42

Kalishian has a story from Soho it's

35:45

not quite like jumping into a ball

35:47

pit the Museum of ice cream sprinkle

35:50

pool has a harder landing I saw

35:52

a couple kids land pretty hard so I'd be

35:54

surprised of an adult would jump in there but

35:56

that's what happened back in late March according

35:58

to a lawsuit filed by Jeremy Schor, who

36:01

says he got hurt in that spring.

36:03

Do pedophiles design everything? Is

36:05

there anything not being designed by pedophiles, by the

36:07

way? Is there

36:09

any public art installation not

36:11

being designed by pedophiles in this city?

36:14

Well, what if it's a pool of sprinkles and all the

36:16

kids jump in? That person should,

36:18

from that suggestion, there should be a

36:20

chute that opens and they go, whoa,

36:23

and they go right into a cell, into jail.

36:26

Took right to jail. I

36:29

mean, Jesus Christ. Ankle

36:31

pool, when jumping in earlier this year, while

36:34

at the museum's Soho location with his daughter,

36:36

the complaint cites an ankle fracture and, quote,

36:38

severe and permanent personal injuries to his right

36:40

leg, ankle, and other parts of his body,

36:43

saying he needs surgery. Should've seen that it's

36:45

not that deep, so you should, like, put

36:47

your foot in first at least and see

36:49

it's not that deep. It's like this deep.

36:52

We don't do that. The

36:54

pool here seems to be at about ankle,

36:56

maybe mid-calf for a little kid, and

36:59

they are hollow. There's these little thin, plastic

37:03

sprinkles here. Videos of other people jumping off

37:05

the nearby diving boards were also included in

37:08

the complaint, like this one where this woman

37:10

says she sprained her leg and needed crutches,

37:12

and another showing a woman falling flat. Why

37:14

are you getting it? You're an adult. You're

37:17

an adult. Stop

37:20

that for a second. Why are in

37:22

God's name are adults,

37:24

and they didn't have this years ago when I went,

37:27

why are they jumping into the sprinkle

37:29

pool? Look

37:33

at this retard. Look how stupid

37:35

this person is. This

37:39

is a grown-ass woman doing

37:41

a cannonball onto

37:43

a fucking floor with a foot of

37:45

plastic sprinkles. Play that again. I can't

37:47

get enough of it. That

37:50

was like my Thanksgiving dinner. That's how it went, by the

37:52

way, just like this. Boop.

37:58

Why do you realize this number one thing? Think of

38:00

how stupid we are as a society now, that we

38:02

even have a sprinkle pool. And

38:05

that there needs to, it needs to be regulated.

38:08

That's how bad we are as a society,

38:10

that there exists a thing called a sprinkle

38:12

pool. You can't just eat ice cream, you

38:15

got to jump in a pool of sprinkles.

38:18

Now by the way, I think this guy

38:20

knew this was like this. I think he

38:22

needed a lawsuit. I think this

38:24

is a guy who goes, I'm fucked. I

38:27

need to go jump in the sprinkle pool right now. I

38:29

think he was sitting there talking to his wife and

38:32

he goes, I've been to that. I've

38:34

taken our kids. I've seen a couple

38:36

of people really injure themselves. I

38:38

know how to get us out of this. I

38:41

can get us out of there sitting there, they're having a rough

38:43

breakfast. She's going, we are

38:45

fucked. We have

38:47

about four months of expenses left and then

38:50

we are fucked. We've got nothing. He

38:52

goes, all right, all right. Listen, you're

38:55

gonna think it's crazy. But

38:58

I'm gonna go jump in the sprinkle pool at the

39:00

Museum of Ice Cream and sprain my leg. We'll

39:03

scare them. It'll get a lot of

39:05

bad press. We'll settle out of court. Four

39:07

or five hundred thousand, something to keep us alive

39:09

here. John, that's ridiculous. I'm

39:11

telling you, I've seen people. I saw some

39:14

dumb bitch do a cannonball into it the

39:16

other day. People are getting hurt. Really?

39:19

Yes. I'm

39:21

just saying I'm going to go there and really hurt myself.

39:24

John, don't do any permanent damage.

39:26

I got a doctor. He'll say I'm all fucked

39:28

up. Really?

39:30

Yes. I'm telling you.

39:34

I mean, listen to this. The complaint

39:36

failing to have sufficient, proper and adequate

39:38

warnings about the dangers and risks of

39:41

the sprinkle pool. Can you imagine this?

39:44

Can you imagine being a grown man? A

39:47

grown man, a grown up.

39:51

People in the Ukraine are dying.

39:53

People in Russia are dying in

39:55

this three year bloody battle, right?

39:57

People in Gaza are being lit on

39:59

fire. Okay, people in Israel got kidnapped from

40:02

a music festival and ended up in

40:04

a tunnel Okay, people

40:06

all over the eye My

40:09

parents have dogs named after slay

40:11

all of the problems in the world and

40:14

this guy is Sewing the Museum

40:16

of ice cream because they have

40:19

not sufficiently warned him about the

40:21

dangers and risks of the sprinkle

40:23

pool Can you you?

40:27

You can never tell that story. I don't care

40:29

how much money you get you

40:31

can never tell that story in mixed

40:33

company again Well, Joanna just

40:36

got over cancer well John

40:40

actually injured himself at the have you been to

40:42

the Museum of ice cream he

40:44

jumped in the sprinkle pool and Heard

40:48

himself. He has tendon issues and kind of nerve

40:50

issues a lot of neuropathy. He's got a lot

40:52

of pain and I'm telling you

40:54

right now. There is this is

40:56

the most undignified thing I have maybe

40:58

seen in seven years of doing this

41:00

show is that a Man

41:03

has injured himself in the sprinkle

41:06

pool here. Let's finish this up

41:08

It's disgusting No lack of

41:10

proper warnings about the risks of jumping in

41:12

and how the museum has advertised the sprinkle

41:14

pool as a place to plunge in Before

41:16

entering the pool patrons are told to take

41:18

their shoes off We're also told

41:21

by the sign here cross from the

41:23

little cubbies And

41:26

not to die as well

41:28

as not to eat the sprinkles I Really

41:32

believe I Hope

41:34

Trump if he does anything. I hope he bans all of this

41:37

I hope he bans all these

41:39

experiences and he brings back just

41:41

hookers and gambling I all

41:45

of these experiences that people are

41:48

Getting into these like

41:50

viral marketing stunts this

41:52

hatchet throwing this is these

41:54

escape rooms these weird odd

41:58

like quasi I,

42:00

you know, social

42:04

experiment type that I just, I want it

42:06

all gone. This, it should not be in

42:08

New York. Let it

42:10

happen in other places. Let

42:14

it happen somewhere else. I

42:16

don't feel comfortable. And if it happens, let it be

42:18

a pop up. This thing's been there like a decade.

42:21

Like I'm uncomfortable

42:24

with the level of banality and

42:27

mediocrity that New York

42:29

city is just, it's just churning

42:31

out all of this

42:34

very like basic stuff

42:36

for basic people, which

42:38

is not what it was. The city

42:41

was not intended to be a

42:43

mall in the suburbs. It's

42:45

not what it was intended to be. I

42:48

mean, the fact that we have a sprinkle pool

42:50

and we have these retards who don't know that

42:52

they shouldn't dive into it. What's going on here?

42:57

I don't like this. It's,

43:00

it's just becoming like a

43:03

silly because everyone that visits me, they

43:05

go, Oh my God, what is that bad? I go, it's the

43:07

elix. Okay. Think

43:11

about this. November offer

43:13

25% off site wide

43:16

to free dream pillows with any

43:18

mattress purchase free bedding bundle

43:21

to dream pillow sheet set and mattress

43:23

protector with any Luxor elite mattress

43:26

order. The midnight deluxe

43:28

is the one that I have. It's amazing. I'm

43:31

telling you right now, you can

43:33

take a small quiz on

43:35

helix very quick. It'll

43:37

tell you exactly the right mattress

43:39

for you. I

43:41

mean, it's amazing how good

43:44

sleep can change your life.

43:47

So many people have back pain. You

43:50

can't find the right position. Maybe they're a side

43:52

sleeper. They sleep on their

43:54

back. Whatever it is helix

43:56

has a mattress for you. If you sleep hot,

43:59

cold. firm, soft, somewhere

44:01

in the middle. I'm telling

44:04

you, Helix is gonna find

44:06

the exact mattress for you and

44:09

you're gonna love it. I have

44:11

never been as sure of

44:13

anything in my life. Go

44:18

to helixsleep.com/Tim D. helixsleep.com/Tim

44:25

D. Like

44:27

a lot of people, my

44:29

family are not the most tech savvy. So

44:31

it seems weird to get them a tech

44:33

adjacent gift, but Aura's digital frame is actually

44:35

perfect. That's because yes, it's tech, but it's

44:37

so easy. I'm

44:40

into this. If you don't know what this

44:42

is, this is a picture frame, but it's

44:44

digital, so it has different photos. Isn't

44:47

that amazing? This

44:49

is the new thing. And

44:52

what it is is you're sitting in the house and you're

44:54

looking at, and then

44:56

you turn your head and you go, it's another picture and for a

44:58

split second, you go, am I having a stroke? But you're not. It's

45:01

actually several photos digitally loaded into

45:03

this picture frame and it's so

45:06

exciting. It's a conversation piece.

45:10

It's so easy to get started, but then once you

45:12

do, the tech is incredible. I can upload photos right

45:14

from my phone and just a click. It'll

45:17

even pair photos together for me, like two pictures

45:19

of the same person or from the same day.

45:22

There's no memory cards

45:24

or USBs required. Oh,

45:27

USBs, sorry. There's no memory cards

45:29

or USBs required. There's a reason

45:31

Wirecutter named it the number one

45:33

best digital photo frame. For

45:36

limited time, visit auroframes.com and

45:39

get $45 off AURS best

45:41

selling Carver matte

45:43

frames by using promo code

45:45

T-A-M at checkout. That's A-U-R-A,

45:47

frames.com, promo code T-A-M. This

45:50

exclusive Black Friday, Cyber Monday deal

45:52

is their best of the year. So don't miss out.

45:54

Terms and conditions apply. $45

45:57

off, use code T-A-M. Shop

46:00

Aura's Black Friday Cyber Monday Sale,

46:02

exclusive $45 off Carver Mat at

46:04

auroframes.com. Use code TIM at checkout

46:06

to say this is one of

46:09

the coolest gifts you can give

46:11

anyone. I'm telling you, the holidays

46:13

are coming up and it's amazing.

46:15

Give it to anyone. They'll love

46:17

it. By the way,

46:20

the Thanksgiving Day Parade, I don't know

46:22

what it, it's dark now. Something

46:25

happened to this parade. It's

46:28

something's wrong with it. I don't know

46:30

what it is. And it's not like the

46:32

Disney is trying to make your kids gay or something.

46:34

I'm not going in that direction. I'm just saying like

46:37

the actual parade itself. Can you play

46:39

some footage of it? I

46:42

know they were in the rain. There's just

46:44

the magic is gone. I don't know what

46:46

happened. Is this

46:48

this year? Yeah.

46:52

Can you just pick a random spot and

46:54

just play something? Look,

47:00

it's this is not

47:03

good. It's

47:09

dark. Something was off

47:11

this year and a lot of people agree

47:13

with me. When

47:16

you watch the parade like something was

47:18

odd. It just didn't feel what

47:20

is that? What is that? What

47:23

is that thing? Some sort of anime

47:25

character. I don't what is happening? The

47:28

balloons are scary now. What

47:33

is that? This is the green giant. Why is it

47:35

a thing? Isn't

47:37

that the vegetable? Yeah. Something's

47:42

wrong here. If

47:44

I showed you this and this was the

47:46

beginning of Batman and it

47:49

was creepy and eerie you would go. Yeah. Am

47:51

I totally wrong here to say that this just is

47:54

it just the rain? Why

47:56

is this person on stilts? There's

48:00

something dark. Look at this. I

48:03

listen, maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'm going crazy.

48:06

And maybe people that are listening to this are

48:08

free to say that I've lost my

48:10

marbles. There was

48:13

something about the parade this year. Get

48:15

some more of it up. There was something about

48:17

it this year that I found very

48:20

disconcerting. I didn't

48:22

find it to be warm and wholesome

48:25

and fun. And again, it's not

48:27

because it was like the drag queen story hour

48:29

float. Although the death becomes, there

48:31

was a little odd, but it's fine. What

48:34

is this? The Kinder bar chocolate

48:36

float? Yeah. It's a lot of brands. It

48:39

was all spawn con. It's

48:42

all weird spawn con and no

48:44

one looks into it. Hey,

48:47

SpongeBob. Great. What

48:50

is this? No

48:54

one, I know it's raining. And

48:56

maybe that explains it, but no one

48:58

looks into this anymore. People look

49:01

like they're for this is like a Soviet

49:03

era parade. This is

49:05

like the military parades in Moscow

49:07

look seem people seem happier.

49:09

This seems like people were conscripted

49:12

and drafted into this. I

49:14

know one looks happy. They look like they're like, again,

49:19

I've watched this every year since I'm a kid. And

49:22

I just felt weird about it this year. It

49:24

is something weird. This is the

49:26

marching band from Sioux Falls, South

49:28

Dakota. This

49:33

is like their whole year, Honda, they come to this

49:35

rainy slum. And New York's the greatest city in the

49:37

world. I don't mean it's a slum, but. I

49:41

just can't. I

49:43

couldn't get into it this year and I felt I felt bad about it.

49:45

Maybe I'm wrong. Homeless court in Florida. This

49:48

is going to be really great. New

49:51

program exchanges, homeless crime sentences. Defendant

50:00

show they are taking measures to end their

50:02

homelessness. I like this Because

50:06

here's what we're doing. Number one homeless court

50:08

is going to be the best news show

50:10

on TV Instead

50:13

of like bring just helping homeless people

50:15

making them show up to a court

50:17

and Kind of verbally joust

50:20

with a judge Judy type is

50:22

really a good idea make the

50:24

make the Tax

50:27

bigger if you could Because

50:29

this is Orlando Florida

50:32

Amid fears that a new state law

50:34

criminalizes those who sleep outside Central

50:38

Florida leaders are coalescing around a diversion

50:40

program to waive court sentences for people

50:42

experiencing homelessness in exchange for

50:44

pursuing treatment housing and employment Such

50:47

a program is called a homeless court

50:49

and could apply to and could apply

50:51

to unsheltered residents who are frequently arrested

50:53

for violations like public urination disorderly

50:56

conduct or public sleeping They're

50:59

often are unable to pay the associate fine and

51:01

arresting them only creates more barriers to getting back

51:04

on their feet Under

51:07

some models of the program a

51:09

homeless court judge could drop charges

51:11

if someone takes concrete

51:13

steps to end their

51:15

homelessness I Like

51:17

this is a good idea. I Think

51:20

it's pretty cool. I like

51:23

it, so The

51:26

homeless show up to the court And

51:30

Is it where we solve disputes between homeless

51:33

people in the court? I like that too

51:35

if we find two homeless people that are fighting

51:38

over something a resource We

51:40

bring them in and then like a judge

51:42

math style judge Judy Kind

51:46

of gets to the bottom of them There's

51:48

something great about that that idea of

51:51

just because they're part of our society.

51:53

They're having disputes Homeless

51:56

people are disputing thing that was

51:58

my chair stuff like that.

52:02

That should be adjudicated in

52:04

a court of law. A

52:07

homeless court can't provide shelter to those who need

52:09

it. Central cities

52:11

and Florida counties to

52:13

face an urgent need to create more shelter beds but

52:15

it can help take advantage of the options that exist.

52:19

Such a program would likely exist outside of

52:21

a traditional courtroom though it would still have

52:23

a judge, a public defender, prosecutor, and other

52:25

features of a typical legal property. This

52:27

is fucking great. Get it

52:29

out, like do it on the street. Have

52:31

like a fun homeless court.

52:33

Build one with like tires

52:36

and chicken wire and you

52:39

build a podium with like you

52:42

know the homeless court should look

52:44

like where homeless people live. It's

52:46

ridiculous to put them in a court

52:48

like these big marble halls. It's insane.

52:51

Build a homeless court out of

52:54

things in the area. Have

52:56

ironing boards for the two

52:58

desks. Have the

53:01

judge sit like on top

53:03

amount of stuff fashioned into a chair

53:06

and televise. Please televise

53:09

this every episode of homeless

53:11

court. Every episode of

53:13

homeless court needs to be televised.

53:17

Every every episode of homeless court this

53:19

is a hit. It's a hit.

53:23

There's not a lot of stuff that I'm bullish on now.

53:25

You know that. I neg a lot of stuff and I'm

53:27

right to but I am

53:29

bullish on homeless court.

53:33

Homeless people hashing

53:35

out their problems with other homeless people

53:38

in front of a judge. They get

53:40

lawyers. They have

53:42

public defendants. Stop

53:44

biting. Sit down. No

53:47

drinking in the court. Sorry your honor. This

53:50

could be great. Homeless

53:52

is not going anywhere. We might as well make it

53:54

more just. When

54:00

they're not leaving the street, let's make the

54:02

street more just. If

54:05

they have issues, if they want things

54:07

like if you want something. The

54:11

nation's first homeless court was founded in San Diego

54:13

and in a three year period, it handled nearly

54:16

11000 cases. Just

54:21

16 of those cases resulted in a guilty

54:23

play. Yeah, well, of course. 11000

54:26

cases. Did you do it? No, no. 16

54:33

of them resulted in a guilty play. He's

54:36

saying you lit his tent on fire. Nah.

54:38

All right. So

54:41

he's saying you came into his tent and

54:43

at knife point stole

54:46

drugs from him. No, you didn't

54:48

do that. OK. Well. By

54:53

the powers vested in me and homeless court, you

54:55

are free to go. Please,

54:58

please have homeless court.

55:01

That's where the sprinkle pool freak should have to

55:03

go. He should go to homeless court, by the

55:05

way, and he should have to explain. He

55:08

should have to explain that he injured himself in a

55:10

sprinkle pool when the when the homeless one that when

55:12

somebody comes up to homeless court and they're bleeding and

55:15

they're just they're having like a seizure and

55:17

they're screaming at the judge and then they go, all

55:19

right, move on. And

55:21

then they bring up him and he goes, hi,

55:24

I injured myself in a sprinkle pool. Now I'd

55:26

like some money. I'm sorry about this. There's

55:29

two homeless guys trying to figure out who bid

55:31

who first. And then they go, we're going to we're

55:33

going to take a recess to do this sprinkle

55:36

pool nonsense. I

55:39

love prize picks. I like

55:41

winning. You

55:43

can now win up to 100 times your money

55:45

on prize picks with as little as four correct

55:47

picks. It's the best way to

55:49

get action on sports in over 30 states, including

55:51

California, Florida, Georgia, Texas. It is

55:53

the best place to get real money sports action. I'm

55:55

telling you, they invented the flex play, which means you

55:58

can still cash out if your lineup isn't perfect. You

56:00

can double your money even if one of your picks

56:02

doesn't hit. PrizePix puts their

56:04

members first. So all withdrawals are fast,

56:06

safe, and secure. When

56:09

my picks hit, I can get more money

56:11

in as quick as 15 minutes. PrizePix

56:14

now offers Venmo for quick and easy

56:16

deposits and withdrawals into your account this

56:19

sport season. Sign up today

56:21

and get $50 instantly when you play $5. You don't

56:23

even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's

56:25

guaranteed. PrizePix also offers weekly promotions

56:28

that can lead to big payouts like

56:30

Taco Tuesday each Tuesday. PrizePix discounts select

56:33

player projections up to 25% to

56:35

provide even more value for your lineup.

56:37

Think James Cook will get more than

56:39

60 yards next week. Joe Burrow pass

56:42

more than 1.5 touchdowns. Cook

56:44

up hot takes with your friends and win

56:46

real money. This football season when you and

56:48

your crew run your game on PrizePix. Run

56:50

your game. I'm telling you right now, get

56:53

hair. Men,

56:55

when you leave the house, it's phone wallet keys, and

56:57

how does my hair look? But if you're experiencing hair loss,

56:59

like my friend John Kennedy, you may not be so

57:01

confident when you step outside your door. It's

57:03

time to—and he's not one of those Kennedys. It's

57:06

time to get that confidence back and restore your hair

57:08

with hymns. No man wants to

57:10

lose hair, but for men, it's actually very common.

57:12

And now with hymns, the solution is simple. Try

57:15

hymns hair loss solutions, and you'll be joining hundreds

57:17

of thousands of subscribers who got their flow back.

57:20

The only thing worse than losing your hair is waiting forever

57:22

for it to grow back. That's why you need hymns. You

57:24

can start seeing your hair grow back in as little as

57:26

three to six months. Hymns

57:28

provides you with convenient and quality access to a range

57:30

of hair loss treatments at work, all from the comfort

57:32

of your couch. They

57:35

make treating hair loss simple with doctor-trusted opinions

57:37

and clinically proven ingredients like finastricide and minoxidil

57:39

that can regrow your hair in as little

57:41

as three to six months. Choose

57:43

from personalized chewable oral spray or serum treatments

57:46

to find out what works best for you.

57:49

Start your online visit

57:51

today. hymns.com/Tim. That's H

57:54

I M s.com/Tim

57:58

for your personalized. Hair

58:00

loss treatment option. hymns.com/Tim.

58:06

Results vary based on studies of

58:08

topical, an oral, monoxidil, and finasteride.

58:10

Prescription products require an online consultation

58:12

with a healthcare provider who will

58:15

determine if a prescription is appropriate.

58:17

Restrictions apply to your website for

58:19

full details and important safety information.

58:23

I also, you know, before we get out of here, I wanna

58:25

talk a little bit about Gen Z because

58:30

Gen Z right now, the loneliest generation, they're

58:32

spending six hours a day online. And

58:36

this is obviously not their fault. People

58:39

writing about these, I'm not saying Gen

58:41

Z is putting, planting these articles because

58:43

we're all a little sick of it. We're

58:46

all a little sick of Gen Z, because every time

58:48

we see them, they're dancing, by the way. But

58:51

we're all a little sick of that they're the

58:53

loneliest generation and they're spending too much time online.

58:56

By the way, Australia

58:59

just banned social media

59:02

for people under 16. Social

59:06

media is banned for people

59:08

under 16 in Australia. Maybe that

59:10

comes here in America, probably not. There's just too

59:12

much money in it. It

59:14

seems like there's too much money

59:18

that these things like TikTok are gonna get

59:20

banned. But Australia,

59:22

they're not letting the kids on social media anymore. And

59:30

a lot of this is probably a benefit

59:32

to them. Okay?

59:37

And they're gonna really find these

59:39

companies if they catch, if they fail to

59:42

prevent children 16 and younger. Now,

59:44

what does that do to TikTok? If you ban kids under 16 on

59:46

TikTok, you're

59:49

eating up their user base, correct? Yeah.

59:54

So I'll just tell you this, I

59:58

think Gen Z is a good thing. is

1:00:01

going to end up,

1:00:03

I think what's gonna happen with Gen Z is

1:00:06

that this type of

1:00:10

social media, whatever

1:00:14

you want to call it, if you want to

1:00:16

call it censorship, but it really isn't censorship, social

1:00:21

media is being blamed for all the

1:00:23

ills in society.

1:00:25

And make no mistake,

1:00:27

it causes a lot of them.

1:00:30

Is it a scapegoat? Sure, but is it a valid

1:00:33

one? Yes. Young

1:00:36

children are being manipulated

1:00:38

on social media, they are

1:00:40

being made to feel like shit, they're

1:00:43

being bullied, they're

1:00:46

bullying each other, they're interacting

1:00:48

with adults in very unhealthy ways, they're

1:00:52

being sexualized, they're being

1:00:55

pulled into different communities they shouldn't

1:00:57

be in. So

1:00:59

this is actually the first,

1:01:01

Australia, this is the first country

1:01:04

to just say fuck it,

1:01:07

we're not having social

1:01:09

media if you're under 16 years old, we're

1:01:11

not gonna do it, you're not

1:01:13

allowed. Think about revolutionary this is,

1:01:16

you're not allowed to

1:01:19

have social media if you're under

1:01:21

16. None. You

1:01:25

can be on the internet, Prime

1:01:28

Minister Anthony Albany said the law supported

1:01:30

parents concerned by online harms to their

1:01:32

children, platforms that have a social responsibility

1:01:34

to ensure the safety of our kids

1:01:36

is a priority to them. Here's

1:01:40

the question, will America do this? Jonathan

1:01:43

Haidt wrote that book The

1:01:45

Anxious Generation and the premise

1:01:47

of that book was that social

1:01:50

media is destroying the minds of

1:01:52

kids. Here's the problem,

1:01:54

it makes a lot of money. Social

1:01:57

media companies make a lot of money.

1:02:00

money and

1:02:02

if you kick everybody

1:02:04

under 16 off you're gonna

1:02:06

lose a lot of money. Will

1:02:10

America ever

1:02:12

pursue that? Will

1:02:14

we ever put people's well-being

1:02:17

above profit like that? It will

1:02:19

be interesting. You

1:02:22

know? I don't know. I can't for

1:02:26

say. Some people

1:02:28

said this policy will hurt vulnerable young

1:02:30

people the most especially in regional communities

1:02:32

and especially the LGBTQI community by cutting

1:02:34

them off. You know people were gay

1:02:36

before Snapchat. I don't know how

1:02:39

to tell people this. They

1:02:41

were gay before Snapchat. They were and they'll

1:02:44

be gay after Snapchat. They're

1:02:46

gonna be gay and trans and

1:02:48

whatever. I don't think they

1:02:50

necessarily what they are saying is

1:02:52

that gay

1:02:55

people can find each other on the internet. Well

1:02:57

the argument is that every group of people can

1:02:59

find each other on the internet but those people

1:03:01

also exist in real life by the way. They

1:03:04

exist in real life. Maybe to

1:03:06

a lesser extent the straight people for sure statistically

1:03:09

yes but I do

1:03:12

think that you know

1:03:14

Wayne Holdsworth

1:03:16

whose teenage son Mac took his own

1:03:18

life after falling victim to

1:03:20

an online sex torsion scam has

1:03:22

advocated for the age restriction and

1:03:24

took pride in its passage. I

1:03:27

have always been a proud Australian but for me subsequent

1:03:29

to today's Senate decision I am bursting

1:03:31

with pride. So

1:03:35

there's a lot of kids on Australia because Australia is very

1:03:37

interesting. It's a very dark place even though it's very like

1:03:40

sunny and you know everybody's in great shape

1:03:42

and they all go a lot of deadly

1:03:44

animals but nobody cares. People go swimming. They

1:03:46

surf. They're hot. They fuck. There's a weird

1:03:49

darkness underneath it because they're all descendants

1:03:51

of criminals and they

1:03:53

all live in these kind of like bucolic

1:03:56

suburbs but underneath that there's

1:03:58

a real darkness. taken all these

1:04:00

aboriginals and put them in the middle of the country. Um,

1:04:04

there's that they don't really speak about, but even, even

1:04:07

deeper than that is just this idea, I think

1:04:10

that the Australian

1:04:12

culture is about drinking and partying

1:04:14

and having fun. And there's

1:04:16

not many more elements to it

1:04:19

except for that. And

1:04:21

I think you either fit into that or you don't. And

1:04:23

if you don't fit into that, you know,

1:04:26

I don't know what you're doing over there, but

1:04:28

there's been some wild stuff in Australia, some weird

1:04:30

stories that woman who poisoned her family

1:04:32

with those mushrooms, largest

1:04:34

child porn bust in the, in the, in the

1:04:36

2010s was in Australia. Like

1:04:38

there's some weird shit going on. And

1:04:42

I do understand people that go, Hey, um,

1:04:47

this will deprive the kids of the positive

1:04:49

aspects of social media, drive them to the

1:04:51

dark web, discourage children too young for social

1:04:53

media to report harm and reduce incentives for

1:04:55

platforms to improve online safety. I

1:04:57

do understand saying

1:04:59

that my son or daughter is

1:05:03

found a community on the internet that they don't

1:05:05

have in their physical life and it has helped

1:05:07

them. I get that. But

1:05:10

there's a lot of children that are, that

1:05:12

are being harmed on the internet that are

1:05:14

being taken advantage of that

1:05:16

are not finding physical communities.

1:05:20

And that, you

1:05:22

know, they're being extorted,

1:05:24

send me nudes. And then that poor kid like

1:05:27

killed himself because they were saying, give us money, or we're

1:05:29

going to leak all your stuff. You

1:05:31

know, I

1:05:34

just wonder in America, will

1:05:36

we ever do that in America?

1:05:41

I don't know. It just doesn't feel

1:05:43

like it's coming. Many

1:05:47

of the children in America who

1:05:52

we would be protecting by

1:05:55

getting rid of social

1:05:58

media. Um

1:06:03

Are just you know

1:06:08

They make too much goddamn money

1:06:11

these kids, you

1:06:14

know like They

1:06:17

have thriving enterprises some of these

1:06:19

children thriving

1:06:22

they're killing it Killing

1:06:25

it and you got to break a

1:06:28

few kids

1:06:30

to make an omelet or whatever and I think

1:06:32

I And I'm

1:06:34

saying it's terrible what's happening? but

1:06:38

some of these kids Like

1:06:41

not everybody on the internet's gonna care about kids

1:06:43

as much as that mr. Beast Right

1:06:51

like they're You

1:06:53

right like him and his crew they

1:06:55

care about the kids But

1:06:58

there are gonna be people on the internet that aren't good

1:07:00

to the kids Mr.

1:07:03

Beast crew was so not they would like talk

1:07:05

to the kids To

1:07:09

me to take time out of your

1:07:11

day as a content creator

1:07:14

to constantly speak to children

1:07:18

is pretty fucking cool and Not

1:07:22

every creator is gonna have the time to

1:07:24

do that I

1:07:32

Am just saying it

1:07:34

warms my heart because I get

1:07:36

emotional because I was a kid that was I Was

1:07:42

misunderstood and I was alone

1:07:44

and if Someone

1:07:47

from mr. Beast team could have

1:07:49

reached out to me When

1:07:52

I was a child and kind of good-looking let's be

1:07:54

honest and and and had me

1:07:56

Talk to them and send photos of myself. I

1:07:59

would have felt bad That's

1:08:03

my point. So

1:08:06

maybe we don't ban the kids on the

1:08:09

internet. Just do what Mr. Beast's team does

1:08:12

and engage with them. Right?

1:08:16

I mean isn't that the answer? Isn't the

1:08:18

answer let's not ignore them. Reach out to

1:08:21

them. DM them. Ask

1:08:23

them what they look like. It makes them

1:08:25

feel good, right? Am I

1:08:28

wrong? I don't feel like I'm wrong. I'm

1:08:32

curious. I'm asking questions I don't know how

1:08:34

to do it. My audience is adults, old

1:08:36

people. It's

1:08:38

curious to me. We

1:08:41

have a lot of selfish creators that

1:08:43

are not reaching out and

1:08:45

exchanging photos with children on the internet. We'll

1:08:58

end with this. Canada Mall criticized for

1:09:00

using baby shark to deter homeless. Montreal

1:09:04

Mall plays baby shark in hallways

1:09:06

and stairwells so homeless don't sleep

1:09:08

there. Blasting

1:09:19

baby shark to keep out homeless people is just

1:09:21

the latest tactic. Let's

1:09:25

see this. Let's watch this. Blasting

1:09:27

baby shark. Just add first.

1:09:30

Well there's nothing to really do. You know you can't.

1:09:33

You have to. That

1:09:35

song is annoying. Baby

1:09:39

shark to do it. Yeah

1:09:41

let's see what oh

1:09:43

what happened. He's coming in weird. What's

1:09:45

going on? This link is coming in

1:09:47

weird. They

1:09:50

probably can't even play. We probably can't

1:09:52

even play baby shark. That's probably why.

1:09:55

My godsun loves baby shark. An

1:10:02

advocate for homeless people calls it tactic cruel and

1:10:04

unusual. It

1:10:08

is impossible to resolve the complexities of homelessness by

1:10:10

using juvenile tactics that are conceived to, well, I

1:10:12

did a thing about this years ago where they

1:10:14

were trying to turn every

1:10:18

public space into a level from Super

1:10:20

Mario Brothers, like it all had spikes

1:10:23

and it all had like things that prevented homeless

1:10:25

people from sitting down. And it just

1:10:28

had like thromps, like falling on the homeless people.

1:10:31

It just became Super Mario World. They

1:10:34

just had little Koopas, little mechanical

1:10:37

Koopa-chappas just go by. They're

1:10:40

trying to turn all these public spaces into video

1:10:42

games so that homeless people cannot sit

1:10:45

there or lay down or do anything. And

1:10:48

now they're blasting baby shark. It's

1:10:55

not easy. Nothing's easy. Okay.

1:11:01

They're now hiring social workers to ensure a

1:11:03

dialogue with homeless people. Our aim

1:11:05

is to not coerce but to support these people. That's,

1:11:08

you know, what if the social

1:11:10

workers, I keep trying to talk

1:11:12

to the homeless people and they're like, we can get

1:11:15

you, we can get you a consultation. They'll

1:11:17

do intake. They'll put you in and like none of it

1:11:19

works. So the social workers just

1:11:22

like look at the homeless people and then they go grandpa

1:11:25

shark to do to do to

1:11:27

do grandpa shark to do to

1:11:29

do. And the fucking whole people

1:11:31

like, no, the social workers just

1:11:33

seeing baby shark very quietly grandma

1:11:35

shark to do to do to

1:11:37

do grandma shark. Can you

1:11:39

imagine that? That's your job. I'm the guy that

1:11:41

plays baby shark to get the homeless out of

1:11:43

the corridor. Can

1:11:46

you imagine that point in your day where they

1:11:48

go, go get them Ralph.

1:11:51

And he's got to go crank up baby

1:11:53

shark so that homeless people

1:11:56

get up from the

1:11:58

stairwell and move. on to the

1:12:01

next alley. That's a guy's job.

1:12:03

Like we often talk about these things we

1:12:05

don't think about that that's

1:12:07

someone's job. He's got

1:12:09

a blast baby shark like

1:12:12

he's an Abu Ghraib torturing

1:12:14

a detainee. He's got

1:12:16

because we did that with like loud music

1:12:19

he's got a blast song baby shark and

1:12:22

then watch the homeless crawl out

1:12:24

of the of the stairwell. Can

1:12:27

we is there any non copyrighted baby shark we

1:12:29

can play or is it

1:12:31

all? It's probably a little covered.

1:12:34

Yeah. It probably got it all covered. Because

1:12:37

it's such an interesting it

1:12:39

is so annoying that song and

1:12:42

you just see them like lumbering out you

1:12:45

play baby shark because it had to by the way they wouldn't

1:12:47

do it if it didn't work. So one

1:12:49

night they tried it they go just

1:12:51

fuck it flood them with baby shark and

1:12:54

they turned up baby shark and then

1:12:56

all of a sudden you just saw a bunch of

1:12:58

people like that bigfoot and the

1:13:00

blanket and they just started moseying down the

1:13:02

road and they went oh we found we

1:13:05

found what gets the homeless

1:13:07

people moving and it's the

1:13:09

song baby shark. I

1:13:12

wonder if it was the first

1:13:15

song they tried. This has like

1:13:17

a million trillion views. It has

1:13:19

15 billion views. Baby shark.

1:13:22

It's one of the most viewed videos

1:13:24

on YouTube. Some of those views are

1:13:26

homeless people being kicked out of

1:13:28

a stairwell by the way. That

1:13:31

accounts for like the last 200 views are

1:13:34

homeless people wandering out of

1:13:36

a stairwell. timdilloncomedy.com

1:13:40

for any tickets to live shows

1:13:42

that you may or may not

1:13:44

want to see. Austin,

1:13:47

Texas at the mothership Wednesday December

1:13:49

11th Thursday the 12th. We're

1:13:51

gonna have a lot of fun and

1:13:54

we are excited to see everybody in

1:13:56

Oxnard and Irvine. in

1:14:00

California. I'll be out there for a lot of December.

1:14:04

We hope you enjoyed your holidays. I enjoyed mine.

1:14:06

And we want you to go

1:14:09

forward and our new date, January

1:14:11

23rd in Connecticut, we're adding a

1:14:13

second show at the

1:14:16

Ridgefield Playhouse. We believe we're

1:14:18

going to add a second show there and

1:14:20

thank you everyone. We love you. We'll see

1:14:22

you on Patreon and we will see you

1:14:24

next week. Baby Shark.