0:00

right. Whoa. We're

0:02

doing it. Cool.

0:05

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Joe kindly

0:07

reminded me that I should tell

0:10

you about a comedy show coming

0:12

up in Phoenix, like tomorrow, maybe

0:14

the next day. I'll

0:17

be doing like 25, 20 minutes

0:19

of standup. That

0:21

Joe, I haven't written yet.

0:25

No, I got some of it. I'm

0:27

going to do my Matthew Perry

0:29

bit, but that always kills. Anyway, if

0:31

you guys would like to come

0:34

see Grace Helbig's new one -woman show

0:36

called Let Me Get This Off My

0:38

Chest, where she explores the story

0:40

of her diagnosis with breast cancer and

0:42

see me open, you could go

0:44

ahead and say you're going to go

0:46

to April 10th, 2025,

0:50

7 .30 p .m. Folks, there's a link in

0:52

the description. Joe, how are you?

0:54

Okay, okay. Where are you doing the

0:56

show? Is it where we did the

0:58

show? That's a great question. Joe,

1:01

event description is probably where I

1:03

would get that information. You would

1:05

be surprised at how little Jefferson

1:07

Street, Stand Up Live is what

1:09

it's called. Right. It's

1:12

on Jefferson Street. You know, but

1:14

yeah, it'll be very nice to do

1:16

that. It's a very fun show.

1:18

Excellent show. People can have a great

1:20

time and we'll hang out because

1:22

once Grace... takes the stage i've seen

1:24

the show and i just walk

1:26

around and heckle yeah and

1:29

hey it wasn't

1:31

that bad

1:33

milking it she's

1:35

cured everybody she

1:38

doesn't get

1:40

empathy it was actually

1:42

harder on me talk

1:44

about me talk

1:46

about me more

1:49

yeah okay that's good i like

1:51

this bit Yeah, we'll do

1:53

that throughout the episode. Talk

1:55

about me, babe. My

1:58

story's more interesting if you think

2:00

about it. It's really not. But

2:10

anyway,

2:13

anyway,

2:16

what are you up to, Joe?

2:18

Anyway. Well, you know, it's

2:20

8 .30 Pacific Coast time. I

2:22

was sleeping, and then we woke

2:24

up and got a podcast,

2:26

which people probably underestimate how hard

2:28

it is to start talking

2:30

about things that are interesting. Sometimes

2:33

I walk away from this podcast

2:35

going like, well, that's

2:38

what we did. Yeah. We did. So

2:41

I have a

2:43

topic that is a total just like,

2:45

okay. Holy crap. I want to

2:47

talk about something. I don't know what

2:49

to talk about. And I looked

2:51

around. I was looking for inspiration in

2:53

my immediate perceptive sphere. Right. And

2:55

here's what I came up with. And I think

2:57

there's potential that it is actually somewhat

2:59

interesting if we tackle it the right way.

3:03

I'm looking at all the things that I have

3:05

to do on a daily basis on top of being

3:07

a father and a manager and all this other shit. And

3:11

the dishes aren't done. And

3:14

I hate that. And I

3:16

usually have to end up doing them because

3:18

I'm not a, I'm not like a super,

3:20

super like administrative fascist when it comes

3:22

to chores around here. I'm like, anyways,

3:25

chores. What

3:28

are the worst chores? What are

3:30

the best chores? Which chores

3:32

do you actually enjoy doing? And

3:34

I was trying to have some sort

3:36

of tier list situation where you

3:39

rate them on enjoyability,

3:41

satisfaction. uh

3:43

disgustingness the muck and the

3:45

mire that is part of

3:47

it the time taken

3:49

to do so what are

3:52

how would you rank a

3:54

lot of chores in your life is

3:56

where i'm gonna go really fun

3:58

nice and we'll start with the dishes okay

4:00

the dishes on i guess let's

4:03

just do a scale from one to

4:05

ten one to ten How much

4:07

do you enjoy the dishes? And I

4:09

think the dishes are a two -tiered

4:11

system. I think there's dish one,

4:13

which is loading, and then there's dishes

4:16

two, unloading. But then there's a

4:18

secret third category called hand wash because

4:20

you can't. So dishes, Elliot, go.

4:22

Loading. Loading the dishes. Dude, this is

4:24

going to be a banger episode.

4:26

It's already off to a great start.

4:28

I'll be quite honest with you.

4:31

I like strong like doing the dishes.

4:33

Strong like. Tier one, though. So

4:35

we have a system where... will usually

4:37

i say usually does the always

4:39

does the cooking and then i at

4:41

the end of the night will

4:43

clean all of the dishes and i

4:46

clean the kitchen and i get

4:48

the counters nice and wiped and i

4:50

set the dishwasher um she likes

4:52

that i do this because it is

4:54

quote one of the few chores

4:56

i regularly do and i do not

4:59

like any of the others i

5:01

hate it's it goes dishwashing and then

5:03

all of the others oh wow

5:05

so you you like

5:07

loading or unloading or you like them both

5:09

loading i like loading i like scrubbing

5:11

them down i like putting them up to

5:13

dry i like drying them by the

5:15

towel i like wiping down the counters i

5:17

find that really satisfying wow so your

5:20

enjoyability high satisfaction high are you do you

5:22

ever get um do you ever get

5:24

thrown off your game with the muck and

5:26

the mire like the disgustingness like ketchup

5:28

that was left in the sink that is

5:30

What is it about ketchup is one

5:32

of the most disgusting things when it's in

5:34

the sink. It's the fucking worst. Yeah.

5:36

It's like one of the few things I

5:38

will rinse off the moment I'm done

5:41

with it. Because when you got to scrub

5:43

that later, it's got that like, I'm

5:45

staying. It's got that. But it's

5:47

also got some sort of scent

5:49

that is ungodly. I don't know why

5:51

it changes so much. It's the

5:53

fucking worst. Something about the water combination

5:55

with it. It's like, well, golly,

5:57

man. And I don't, I like ketchup.

5:59

it's weird that it makes such

6:01

an about face the moment it's in

6:03

the sink yeah like mustard doesn't

6:05

do it i can do i can

6:08

wash mustard down all day long

6:10

i think there's something that becomes like

6:12

oh you're science i'm eating science

6:14

when yeah like that and it's a

6:16

subconscious reminder that like yeah it

6:18

looks like plastic a little bit too

6:20

like it's congealing into plastic um

6:22

besides that i like putting in let's

6:24

keep going you go first with

6:26

the dishwashers let's keep it structured um

6:29

there is an emotional response that i

6:31

think automatically takes it down and

6:34

that is um there's a level of

6:36

disrespect that i associate with right my

6:38

household where it's like i'll put in

6:40

the work to make sure that

6:42

the dishwasher is empty and all you

6:44

have to do is take your dish

6:46

and put it in the dishwasher

6:48

that's all you gotta do nobody does

6:50

it nobody fucking does it despite them

6:52

so it's right there yep right there

6:54

Uh, so there's a, there's an

6:56

emotional attachment to it that automatically takes

6:58

it down a tick for me. I

7:01

will say that once I start,

7:03

I get over the emotional hump of

7:05

having to do it. Loading

7:07

the dishes can be

7:09

somewhat of a

7:11

therapeutic, uh, organizational moment.

7:13

Yeah. Actually, but it's

7:16

also, that also gets robbed of its

7:18

positivity too, because the times that people

7:20

do put their dishes in, they don't

7:22

organize. Like, what are you doing? There

7:24

is a system. Pick up sticks. dude

7:26

are you a haphazard dishwasher person or

7:28

do you i'm this is a hot

7:30

hot button issue joe um let's just

7:32

talk about abortion to be honest with

7:35

you because this is gonna get controversial

7:37

which is uh really comes down to

7:39

the organization of the organs in the

7:41

body i'm midway um i'm i'm definitely

7:43

not ocd about it i learned something

7:45

about my brother over the summer last

7:47

year when i went back to florida

7:49

for a bit he is the most

7:52

laid -back person i've ever met in my

7:54

life i was up i found out

7:56

from him i'd not load dishwasher well

7:58

at all he has this like ocd

8:00

streak about the loading the dishwasher and

8:02

uh since then i i think about

8:04

him when i do it he's like

8:06

the small plates go here the large

8:08

plates go here and whatever i do

8:11

have a system but i do i

8:13

have thought about like searching

8:15

a youtube video to be like what is

8:17

the cool like there's all sorts of

8:19

stuff with appliances we don't even think about

8:21

like basic things like this is where

8:23

you should put it now where i get

8:25

frustrated is grace will regularly put things

8:27

in the dishwasher that are no -nos and

8:29

then she'll like wooden cutting boards that get

8:32

warped and that kind of thing but

8:34

besides that i'm pretty chill with it i'm

8:36

not haphazard mostly because it makes uh

8:38

emptying it harder that's true but also I

8:41

will go from a, hey, the

8:43

dishwasher's full to I could probably fit

8:45

in at least twice as much

8:47

if just with a little bit of

8:49

organizational manpower. And I'm not even

8:51

talking like plates go here, cups go

8:53

here sort of situation because, dude,

8:55

I'm a fucking anarchist when it comes

8:57

to that. Really? Okay. Things go

8:59

where things go. Okay. But it's

9:01

like cleaning the garage sort of thing. You're going

9:03

to find a corner. I'm going to find

9:05

a stacking situation that makes sense and water is

9:07

going to be able to get places even

9:09

though it's on top of something. It's

9:12

just like, use the space. Children,

9:15

wife, use the space. Do you feel like

9:17

you wash the dishes and then the

9:19

dishwasher is washing them again or that you

9:21

are literally just rinsing? Because I feel

9:24

like I'm scrubbing these things spotless and then

9:26

putting them in the dishwasher, probably wasting

9:28

a lot of water. You might be taking

9:30

an extra step. Yeah. And maybe I

9:32

probably always have. But then

9:34

sometimes Grace will be like, dishes

9:36

weren't very clean. If I get high

9:38

and I do the dishes, it

9:40

is not good. Well, that's not true,

9:42

actually. It is either not good

9:44

or it is meticulously clean. But usually

9:46

at night when I'm like putting

9:48

them in and I'm a little high,

9:50

I'm like, you know, it can't

9:52

be that dirty if it was already

9:54

on there when we were eating

9:56

alphabet. Bay by oven, I cooked good

9:58

china again. I

10:01

did it. Baby, I put our socks

10:03

in there. Yeah. Yeah,

10:06

not a fan. Despite

10:08

the disgusting nature of doing

10:10

dried ketchup, I do

10:12

think I slightly put loading

10:14

over unloading. Unloading is

10:16

so easy and it's so

10:18

quick. I hate it.

10:20

But there's something about it

10:22

that just feels more

10:24

cumbersome. It's almost insulting. Yeah,

10:27

like unload yourself. Yeah. Why

10:29

am I here? you're

10:32

a cabinet you're still just a cabinet

10:34

you have all the dishes you use in

10:36

a cabinet but you got to take

10:38

them and you got to put them in

10:40

a different cabinet yeah something about it

10:42

i don't like the organizational yeah it reminds

10:44

me of being a kid too that

10:46

was one of the chores as a kid

10:48

i think you have a an antipathy

10:50

toward whatever you all right what's the next

10:52

one what do you think laundry yeah

10:54

yeah me putting my clothes away i'm we're

10:57

pile people yeah us too yeah How

10:59

long does your pile sit there? Like you

11:01

guys do the laundry. You finally, like

11:03

after two weeks, you're like, fuck it. I'm

11:05

going to do the hampers. You do

11:07

it all at once. It's like three or

11:09

four loads. And then just dump it

11:11

in the hamper or on the floor. How long

11:13

is there? Long time. Like it kind

11:15

of is what I use. I go, when I'm

11:17

about to take a shower, I go look

11:19

at all the piles. I

11:21

go, where's my, and I find them out of the

11:23

piles and they just stay there until. grace

11:26

is like we should turn that room

11:28

into a guest room and i'm like well

11:30

you're gonna give me three days because

11:32

i gotta put my clothes away and it's

11:34

a done laundry room you want to

11:36

you want to mess with the done laundry

11:38

that's where all my piles my my

11:41

piles i appreciate that you're normalizing something that

11:43

is just a disgusting habit for our

11:45

whole family yeah it's just piles yeah just

11:47

on the floor there's our pile of

11:49

clothes and then you got a double dare

11:51

to find your fucking under yep and

11:53

i think too when i'm uh like stacking

11:56

like i'll fold them and then when you

11:58

know you do this thing where you put

12:00

it uh like the jeans and then the

12:02

one pair of shorts and then the t

12:04

-shirts and then the 19 pairs of me

12:06

undies and then you know the socks and

12:08

it's like when i get that little pyramid

12:10

stack i'm like good enough and i kind

12:12

of like it and i put it somewhere

12:14

and if i do that for grace's clothes

12:16

and i put it by her closet she's

12:18

like thank you so much so i don't

12:20

think we need to improve that's not an

12:22

area that i'm ever going to give a

12:24

crap about I find it very like zero

12:26

satisfying when I sit down and I actually

12:28

like tackle the pile for everybody again. Uh,

12:31

what's crazy do kids. Yeah.

12:34

It's the worst. Um, yeah,

12:37

no, I don't, when I'm done

12:39

with it, I'm not like time well

12:41

spent. Yeah. Doesn't give you

12:43

that. No, not at all. Cause it's

12:45

also a reminder of like, Oh, we have too

12:47

much shit. And that gives me anxiety. You

12:49

hate that. I know you do hate that. And

12:51

then you start putting it away and you're

12:53

like, I'm just putting the shit away with more

12:55

shit. Why is there more shit? How does

12:57

there endless shit? Yeah. Endless shit. I

12:59

hate that for sure. Yeah, dude. Even like

13:02

putting the laundry, like separating colors and whites,

13:04

which I don't really care about. No, we

13:06

don't do that. We throw them all in

13:08

there. There's a lot of that. It's like

13:10

generational. It's like balancing a checkbook. I mean,

13:12

we've never done that. Have you ever done

13:14

that? You've done that. I have never balanced

13:16

a checkbook. Yeah. And I still write a

13:18

check every month. Absolutely. Yeah. Still

13:21

don't understand what the point was. yeah

13:23

do you have do you write more

13:25

than one check a month is it just

13:27

i rent one or two all right

13:29

one rent check and that's it now no

13:31

nothing else well i gotta write a

13:33

check to the yard guy joe ah the

13:35

yard guy yeah efren um is gonna

13:38

want that check yeah if you he's the

13:40

nicest guy in the world Do you

13:42

panic when you're like, shit, I need more

13:44

checks? I don't know how to get

13:46

more checks. Yeah, I found another book of

13:48

checks the other day and I was

13:50

like, oh, I'm great for like another decade.

13:52

It has an address from like when

13:54

I was 22 or something. You doubled it

13:56

out of your clothes pile. Yeah.

14:01

The laundry, so putting the laundry in,

14:03

I don't like moving them to the

14:05

dryer. I hate folding them. That's the,

14:07

I don't like bending over and doing

14:09

that. The worst. grace has

14:11

a routine in the morning where she'll

14:13

vacuum because of brock now and

14:15

so she's got like a system where

14:18

she does that i really like

14:20

the swiffer do you do the swiffer

14:22

uh i do you like a

14:24

lot of carpet so you probably no

14:26

it's hardwood i have one carpet

14:28

um uh yeah no no because i

14:30

don't feel like it's doing anything

14:32

i do wonder that like you're just

14:35

playing pushy uh it's like you're

14:37

doing uh the olympic you're curling with

14:39

your dust yeah Yep, all right. Yeah,

14:42

put it over there. There is a satisfying

14:44

spray when you press the spray. Yeah, that's

14:46

nice. Nice. And I like the little wet

14:48

lines. I'm like, it's wet now, so it's

14:50

clean. Not to completely

14:52

dump on laundry, but one positive

14:55

point before we move on from

14:57

it. Two positive points for laundry

14:59

that I will give it some

15:01

props for. Hugging

15:03

a freshly... dried

15:06

batch of clothes when you take it

15:08

out and you go put it on

15:10

the pile that that embrace that that

15:12

quick cuddle yeah all the way to

15:14

the pile when you drop oh you

15:16

had a thumb a thumbs up did

15:18

it come see that yeah sometimes it'll

15:20

pop up that's funny is that like

15:22

a thing that you have i don't

15:24

know i guess maybe you need to

15:27

turn it on i know um yeah

15:29

yeah unless there's a pair of jeans

15:31

in there with a button and then

15:33

it burns your forearm for a second

15:35

It burns your face. You're like, oh, this feels great.

15:37

Yeah. What was

15:39

I going to say about

15:41

the... Oh, my favorite part,

15:43

dude, about laundry is drinking

15:46

the Tide. A

15:50

minute. Wait a minute,

15:52

sir. And then just chasing it

15:54

with some, like, fabric softener. Yeah.

15:57

You know I'm referencing the SourceFed video. Oh,

15:59

yeah. That's a good one. Let's cut

16:01

to a clip. Cut to

16:03

a clip, Steve. Let's cut to a clip. Steve,

16:06

cut to a clip. What do you mean, Steve? What do you

16:08

mean you're not listening to the episode as you edit Not listening

16:10

to the whole thing? What do you mean? do you take out

16:12

all the racist stuff? Steve

16:14

tells us that he's not going

16:16

to be on the podcast

16:18

in a way that makes it

16:20

seem like he genuinely is

16:23

kind of nervous about it. Whereas

16:25

I'm like, who cares? Last time I

16:27

was like, suck balls, Zaragoza. I was

16:29

like, ha! And then he was like, sorry.

16:31

And then I was like, no, don't,

16:33

what? no don't say sorry okay dude

16:35

don't don't worry yeah almost concerning like are

16:38

you okay are you did everything all

16:40

right yeah i mean i was like oh

16:42

did i you know hope everything's okay

16:44

um closing the door on a warm

16:46

cuddle laundry moment uh it's so good

16:48

that we will call the kids up

16:50

we'll go hayden jackson doing the warm laundry

16:52

and they'll sprint upstairs they'll lie down

16:54

on getting there And then we drop it

16:57

on them. Oh, nice. That's so cool.

16:59

That's going to be a happy memory

17:01

for them. I love that. And then

17:03

I kick them. Yeah, absolutely. Because

17:05

they can't see you. And

17:07

then I think the other secret satisfying moment

17:09

of laundry that gets overlooked and it's almost

17:11

a chore within a chore is when you

17:13

empty the lint trap. Yeah.

17:15

I also find that satisfying, though, when

17:17

it's really full. You

17:19

just like peel it off like

17:21

dead skin. Yeah. Which also it happens

17:24

to probably be mostly dead skin.

17:26

Yep. which is we

17:28

have to like ours will like

17:30

we have that deck and the the

17:32

lint will kind of blow out

17:34

a lot so we have to get

17:36

like mesh stuff to catch it

17:39

otherwise we walk out and it's just

17:41

like everything is just covered in

17:43

in crap have you ever been around

17:45

your place an apartment in the

17:47

past or something and had a manager

17:49

clean the lint like distribution system

17:52

no i bet that's crazy So

17:54

if you go outside your apartment or

17:56

your house or something, there's usually like some

17:58

sort of vent and you've walked by

18:00

it and went, I don't know what that

18:02

really is. And it's probably the, you

18:05

know, the exhaust, the exhaust for your laundry.

18:07

This dude came in like after five, six

18:10

years of living here, he walks in with

18:12

the leaf blower. And I was like, that's

18:14

a leaf blower in our place. What's up?

18:16

And he's like, oh, going to clean the

18:18

lint trap. And so your apartment doesn't start

18:20

on fire. You're like, what? And then he

18:22

puts it in the hole in the

18:24

wall behind the fricking laundry behind the dryer.

18:26

And then he turns it on full blast

18:29

and he's like, go outside, watch this. And

18:31

I go out to our patio and I

18:33

am telling you. He's like, I do this

18:35

for the love of it. I'm not even

18:37

getting paid. So incredibly

18:39

satisfying, but like

18:41

decades worth of just

18:44

nonstop lint, just

18:46

falling, falling, cascading,

18:49

like fricking Victoria falls out of the

18:51

back. Yep. apartment

18:53

which was concerning but also fascinating

18:55

like that's all in there

18:57

that's all i felt great like

18:59

when you do you replace

19:01

the ac filters uh he does

19:04

hopefully yeah you might want

19:06

to check on that because we

19:08

did that dude so one

19:10

thing with like the palm springs

19:12

place that we've learned is

19:14

that like so grace's stepdad

19:16

and mom will stay there but they'll

19:18

also like really help out with things around

19:20

the the place and they'll do it

19:22

like once a year and they're handy and

19:24

capable is what you're saying exactly and

19:26

they think about things that we never think

19:28

about like the ac filter that never

19:31

gets changed at that place and the first

19:33

time they stayed i was like yeah

19:35

it's like we gotta really keep an eye

19:37

on that uh that's really important um

19:39

and you know we're there enough to we

19:41

that we can do it and then

19:43

next year they were like hey we did

19:45

the ac filter again and we were

19:47

like ah we should have thought about that

19:49

but it's like completely out of sight

19:51

out of mind and now when i do

19:54

it here especially after the fires oh

19:56

so nice oh it actually changes things like

19:58

oh it feels different the ac runs

20:00

better it gets a cooler a lot faster

20:02

and then the the look of how

20:04

gross it is is pretty great i feel

20:06

like there's only one human that we

20:08

know kind of around our age maybe a

20:10

little younger that is capable and that's

20:12

aaron massey aaron massey not to bring him

20:14

up i was about yeah he's such

20:17

an old soul that like it's he's the

20:19

guy that's like why would i ever

20:21

take why would i ever buy another vacuum

20:23

i'll just fix it and you

20:25

guys take your car to a

20:27

to a mechanic to change your oil

20:29

it's like i can do that

20:31

in two seconds like right he's he

20:33

is all of our dads and

20:35

for some reason his dad was able

20:37

to actually pass down the knowledge

20:39

yeah mine it went like like my

20:41

dad was capable my dad is

20:43

not a handyman my dad is not

20:45

somebody that was like you would

20:47

reach out to to like fix up

20:49

your house but he still could

20:51

do a lot of those things like

20:53

he built our porch he he

20:55

set stone in yeah way he he

20:57

would do his own oil and

20:59

try to fix things and had tools

21:01

in a shed yeah our generation

21:03

doesn't do that and i wish we

21:05

did yeah yeah we keep my

21:07

tools are like in a tupperware and

21:10

every time i go and do

21:12

it i'm like where is the hammer

21:15

the one screwdriver and then all of the

21:17

allen wrenches that you have from all

21:19

your like ikea ikea for sure yeah dude

21:21

massey was So there's two videos of his

21:23

recently that I saw. One was like him

21:25

installing a doggy door. And I was like,

21:27

this is perfect. We have like, he had

21:30

the same kind of doggy door we

21:32

do. And he was like, we're going to

21:34

do a real doggy door. And it took

21:36

about 10 seconds into the video where I

21:38

was like, this is not going to help

21:40

me at all. And I'm never going

21:42

to be able to do this. It was

21:44

like going through the drywall and like finding

21:46

the stud, which I've never understood. I think

21:48

people make that up. And then the other

21:50

one though is. yeah

21:52

the other one is the he does the

21:54

um for for hair drains so that one's

21:57

pretty gross so getting hair out of clogged

21:59

drains i've been using snakes and stuff those

22:01

like plastic things to stick down there but

22:03

when i pull it out it's like like

22:05

you know gets all over me aaron massey's

22:07

like use a shot vac you take the

22:09

thing off you take the hose and just

22:11

go and i was like whoa that's brilliant

22:13

i'm totally gonna do that next time so

22:15

i'm excited to try the shot you have

22:17

a shot vac i got a

22:19

shot back yeah yeah yeah you

22:21

would think it's a cheap one and

22:23

it's filled with broken car window

22:25

glass but i do have it oh

22:27

is this from when you or

22:29

your uh your um garage was flooding

22:31

is that when you got one

22:33

it might have been yeah well i

22:35

don't know sometimes i'll grace will

22:37

be putting i'll be like what about

22:39

a shot back on the level

22:41

of like grown adult manliness you've went

22:43

up a couple because you have

22:45

a shot you have a yeah and

22:47

a pressure washer that's pretty cool

22:49

and i like looking at both of

22:51

those things oh there they are

22:53

i put them next to each other

22:55

and i like they're married dude

22:58

one thing that we so okay this

23:00

is a huge development in our

23:02

relationship uh the other day and i

23:04

and then i thought about it

23:06

and i realized it's not at all

23:08

but i was asking my wife

23:10

grace whether uh I think I

23:12

was in Florida, actually. I talked to

23:14

my brother and I was like, you

23:16

know what's interesting about Grace? One thing

23:18

that I've learned is she knows where

23:20

every single thing is in the house.

23:22

Whoa. If I'm like, hey,

23:26

where is that screw? Where is that whatever? She

23:28

will tell me with an exact location. I

23:30

was shooting something the other day and she was

23:32

out of town and she was like, if

23:34

the lighting is off, sometimes you can put powder

23:37

on. I think I have some. in like

23:39

the second drawer down in the bathroom it should

23:41

be on the left and there should be

23:43

like some pads on top of it whoa and

23:45

she was like if i'm if that's right

23:47

i'm incredible and or something like that and i

23:49

was like i sent her a photo because

23:51

it was exactly there and then i'll test her

23:54

i'll be like stuff i don't even know

23:56

if we have and i'll be like do what

23:58

about a sewing kit and she goes i

24:00

don't know if we have a sewing kit but

24:02

if we do it is in the second

24:04

drawer in my closet next to the like she

24:06

notes it's like an encyclopedia and then i

24:08

googled if it's normal to know where everything in

24:10

your house is and google is like yeah

24:13

it is and i was like well okay maybe

24:15

i'm the abnormal one for not having any

24:17

clue but she's like it's like a that's like

24:19

a robot i'm in trouble And as a

24:21

result, I don't pay attention to where anything is.

24:23

So I think that part of my brain

24:25

just isn't developed anymore. It's atrophied. Yeah, yeah. You've

24:27

leaned on her so much that she has

24:30

now become part of your brain. Like she's like

24:32

the male angler fish that is like attached

24:34

to your head. Exactly. But it's sucked

24:36

out. Yeah, I get it. I'm

24:38

probably the male angler fish for sure. Because

24:41

that's the one that attaches, right? Well, I

24:43

mean, in general, but she's more attaching to

24:45

suck off. Right.

24:49

yep and we're my wife attaching to suck

24:51

off and we're back and we're back and

24:53

we can rattle through these other ones real

24:55

quick dusting miserable hate it um never ends

24:58

not a fan not a fan always comes

25:00

back uh nothing really satisfying about it there's

25:02

like that initial first like wipe of something

25:04

but then you gotta lift things to make

25:06

sure you're getting everything and then you finish

25:08

a desk and then you have to do

25:10

everything else like yeah photos on the wall

25:12

like what what are we doing here I

25:14

know every now and then when I do

25:16

that, when I take like a wipe, cause

25:19

I'll use like the Clorox wipes, which I've

25:21

tried to use less of cause I guess

25:23

they're not great for the environment. But when

25:25

I, when I wipe the top of a

25:27

frame, the feeling of superiority and like, golly,

25:29

I'm going above and beyond is crazy. Like

25:31

I said, I'm like, no one needs to

25:33

do this, but I did. I must be

25:35

a really clean person. But it's also not

25:38

that because it's a reminder that you didn't

25:40

do that for the past month probably because

25:42

nobody, I don't care who you are. You're

25:44

not dusting weekly. You're a liar. It

25:47

reminds you how gross your place

25:49

is. Yeah. So effectively. Just, oh,

25:51

I've been breathing all of the

25:53

stuff that's not on this frame.

25:55

It's in me. And it's fucking

25:57

gross and it's disgusting. Do you

25:59

get grossed out when you see

26:01

the dust floating in the sunlight?

26:03

No, I find that a little

26:05

bit more magical. Me too. Isn't

26:07

that weird? I never mind it, but I'm

26:10

always like, it is kind of dusty in here.

26:12

They do say most dust. This is probably

26:14

fucking not even a fact, but it is. You're

26:16

like, again, your skin cells like floating in

26:18

the... Your stardust, dude. It's your stardust. It's beautiful.

26:20

That's a nice way to think of it.

26:22

Like a pixie dust. What

26:24

are the other chores? Like

26:26

I do... Vacuuming. Not

26:29

a fan of vacuuming. The

26:32

setup to vacuuming really sucks. You

26:34

gotta grab it. You gotta plug

26:36

it in. I

26:38

do think there is a satisfying nature

26:40

of it. Maybe it's not as bad

26:42

for you guys, but... you have kids

26:44

like you just like how did you

26:46

get shit there how is it there

26:48

how is it like how is there

26:50

food everywhere um with brock it's fur

26:52

the fur will bundle into balls and

26:54

it's been like 12 hours since we

26:56

vacuumed it where it's like got a

26:58

puff somewhere in a corner and we're

27:00

like how congregating yeah all of those

27:03

micro like all those atoms know that

27:05

they're friends and they're still getting together

27:07

really weird um i think yeah setting

27:09

up sucks the actual act of it's

27:11

okay like watching before and after in

27:13

real time can be kind of nice

27:15

do you make the bed i hate

27:17

making the bed yeah i i grace

27:19

we will usually make the bed but

27:21

i'll if i get up later i'll

27:23

make it and there is a sense

27:25

of like this is pointless uh and

27:27

it is nice when it's it is

27:29

nice when it's at the end of

27:32

the day but there's a little part

27:34

of me it's like yeah no it

27:36

does i don't get that like when

27:38

it's done and it's perfect and you're

27:40

like you're a military uh human that

27:42

has been yeah did your life to

27:44

making it perfect it looks great but

27:46

then i'm like okay i don't walk

27:48

away satisfied however i will say that

27:50

there is a delayed satisfaction moment when

27:52

you jump into a freshly made on

27:54

top of a freshly made bed with

27:56

freak with fresh clean yeah and it's

27:58

cool like it's been sitting there all

28:01

day and it's just kind of got

28:03

this oh yeah that's that dude so

28:05

grace got this pillow that when she

28:07

was out of town i used and

28:09

it's like a uh uh constantly cooling

28:11

so like and i thought maybe it

28:13

was a gimmick and it's not dude

28:15

like i would it is like chilly

28:17

and then you roll over and it's

28:19

still chilly and it's like incredible she

28:21

came back and i was like all

28:23

right got one of those hogwarts pillows

28:25

i want one of those it's really

28:27

cool yeah it's not it's like a

28:30

neck pillow too so it like keeps

28:32

your head all supported highly recommend a

28:34

cool pillow um sheets folding sheets hate

28:36

it fitted sheets never

28:38

gonna know how to fold them

28:40

no it's impossible you roll those

28:42

up and you put them inside

28:44

like yeah themselves it's like a

28:46

until they go they disappear you

28:48

keep rolling and they're gone yes

28:50

rusting that rust russian nesting sheet

28:52

rusting nesting russian yeah we are

28:55

killing it uh look my the

28:57

final one that i wrote down

28:59

is a little bit of a

29:01

curveball but mowing the lawn yeah

29:03

i got my guy i've been

29:08

a while been a bit it might

29:11

be over 20 years back at home

29:13

back and i don't even know if

29:15

i ever regularly mowed the lawn i've

29:17

thought about getting a little push mower

29:19

because i thought it'd be fun but

29:21

i'm like there's no way i'm gonna

29:24

ever you would never do it it

29:26

is like satisfying what's that i think

29:28

it's surprisingly satisfying yeah oh really yeah

29:30

i mean i it seems like of

29:32

the dad chores the most enjoyable you

29:34

get to make your little lines yeah

29:36

You get to kind of OCD over

29:39

that. And then I think the underrated

29:41

moment of a mowing the lawn experience

29:43

is when you go into your shower

29:45

and you just watch the filth fall

29:47

off of your body. When was the

29:49

last time you mowed a lawn? Been

29:52

a little bit. But it was maybe two

29:54

summers ago when I went home to help my

29:56

dad. Oh, that's plenty recent. Yeah. You

29:58

remember the experience. I had a lawn

30:01

mowing job growing up and it was dirty.

30:03

But then you go take that shower

30:05

and you just watch. hard

30:07

work yeah off off of your

30:09

body and then clogs the

30:11

drain it's not rocket oh you

30:13

snot rocket not rocket i

30:15

didn't see that coming so much

30:17

earth falls out of your

30:19

body are you mowing a jungle

30:21

just kick dude just kicking

30:23

up dust man kicking up dirt

30:25

and then boom And

30:28

then you will, ah, such a good moment. The

30:30

shower nasal stuff is good stuff. When you can walk

30:32

out of there feeling better when we walked in

30:34

nasally, it's a good thing. It takes a gross thing,

30:36

but it feels less gross in your shower. You

30:38

can do everything in the shower. You

30:40

can do almost everything in the shower. Yeah.

30:43

If only you could just

30:45

drop turd. Yeah. Turd in

30:47

the shower. It

30:50

would be a dream. It would, wouldn't

30:52

it? You could do everything else. We,

30:55

uh. We're doing this bathroom

30:57

remodeling, supposedly, and they had

30:59

to check for asbestos. We

31:01

came back negative. Oh, thank

31:04

God. Jesus. Yeah,

31:06

because this house, it turns out, was

31:08

built in 1950. Like everything

31:10

in LA. Yeah, and there's all

31:12

these decisions and design things, and the

31:14

only thing I cared about was

31:16

the toilet. I

31:19

think I'm getting what I

31:21

want. those japanese toilets are you

31:23

getting one of those it's

31:25

kind of like that it's not

31:27

the most fancy but it's

31:29

got like a heated seat and

31:31

a bidet and like an

31:33

automatic it's electronically flushing it flushes

31:36

when you get up and

31:38

it closes the lid for you

31:40

and opens it for you

31:42

okay you stand in front of

31:44

it opens and then if

31:46

you sit actually don't know if

31:48

it'll work that well but

31:50

it looks incredible and it's tankless

31:52

oh and it's got

31:54

a bidet that's heated and that's what

31:56

I'm most excited about um I have

31:58

a little controversial take on this but

32:00

I think I don't want to sit

32:02

on a warm seat I know um

32:04

I was watching a video there where

32:06

someone's compared it to it was Drew

32:08

Gooden I was watching I went got

32:11

while Grace was out of town I

32:13

watched a bunch of his videos but

32:15

he made a comment about like a

32:17

toilet that is warm so it feels

32:19

like someone else was just sitting on

32:21

it yeah no i hate that and

32:23

i was like oh i think you

32:25

just ruined a heated seat for me

32:27

worst give me a little cold reminder

32:29

that i have officially transitioned from one

32:31

moment in life to the next and

32:33

this yeah yeah very specific moment there's

32:35

also a physical thing too yeah where

32:37

like your body like goes like oh

32:39

yes cold porcelain mean poop now okay

32:41

now go poop now i go never

32:43

bye anyways ladies and gentlemen that has

32:45

been a discussion about chores A slice

32:48

of life. I mean, it's relatable. Yeah.

32:51

It's not filled with despair, which

32:53

is nice. That was a

32:55

good change of pace. Yeah. Which

32:58

is nice. I mean, we'll get back to that

33:00

after we stop recording, for sure. Absolutely. Speaking

33:02

of, have you been keeping up

33:04

with the news, Joe? Oh, I

33:07

had a game that we could

33:09

play. Yeah, play a game. Try

33:11

to, without. As fast as

33:13

you can, try to come up

33:15

with an anagram of your own name.

33:17

I'll start first. Teole

33:20

Gorman. Eaj?

33:25

Quick. Eaj

33:28

Eberede.

33:33

Eberede. Just

33:36

repeat your last name. I was

33:38

that came in my head when I was

33:40

on the toilet earlier because I was reading a

33:42

story about how Trump's like economic advisor wrote

33:44

a book where he referenced this economist in like

33:46

all of his books going back to 2001.

33:48

But it turns out that the guy is just

33:51

used an anagram of his own name and

33:53

the guy doesn't exist. And

33:55

I was like, man, that's brilliant. I want to

33:57

write a book where I just reference myself an

33:59

anagram of my name, not even hiding it that

34:01

much. Man, the world is

34:03

fun right now, but also not, not

34:05

at all. It's zero fun right now.

34:08

I don't like, there's not much that

34:10

I look forward to. Unfortunately.

34:13

Are you watching basketball? I

34:15

did. I watched Florida. It's over by the time.

34:17

Yeah. This goes live, but both very good

34:19

game. They're both very fun. I think that's what

34:21

they needed to be. Yeah. Did

34:23

you watch both? I didn't see the

34:26

Duke one. Duke game was really

34:28

good. Went down. It was great. I

34:30

was rooting for Duke, but well,

34:32

for my bracket, I don't really care.

34:34

Yeah, it's what a wonderful time

34:36

of the year. March Madness is a

34:38

one of a kind experience, an

34:40

event that is getting also kind of

34:42

unfortunately riddled and disfigured by our

34:44

current capitalistic state because money is now

34:46

in the college game. So because

34:48

of the NIL, kids can just like.

34:50

be at a school for one

34:52

year and just be like peace it

34:54

i'm out and then other colleges

34:56

now can get they can go to

34:58

the highest bidder when it's kind

35:00

of sucks oh really what's nil uh

35:02

it's the it's the system in

35:04

which college kids can get paid now

35:07

which is good they should have

35:09

been paid but it's unregulated point where

35:11

it's like the richest schools are

35:13

going to be able to give the

35:15

most money etc etc oh okay

35:17

yeah that's unfortunate um i didn't know

35:19

anything about that so there's no

35:21

such thing like if you you know

35:23

when you were in school and

35:26

let's say like 2006 with uh what

35:28

was it noah was on the team

35:30

you guys had the back -to -back championships

35:32

that team was a team for four

35:34

years like they yeah they melded they

35:37

had time the same kids now that

35:39

just doesn't happen every team okay he's

35:41

like a brand new team every year

35:43

and kids will just like bounce which

35:45

is fine whatever teeth each their own

35:47

but it makes the whole experience a

35:49

little uh washed washed out less special

35:52

i did As I was watching the game

35:54

yesterday, I was like, man, I really don't know who any of

35:56

these people are. I have no clue. However,

35:58

that fucking point guard for Florida,

36:00

Clayton. Yeah, that's

36:03

amazing. Yeah,

36:06

they were fun to watch. I was they

36:08

did the same thing where they were like

36:10

down by 10. And I was like, well,

36:12

that's it. They've lost. There's no way they

36:14

can come back from that. Like, I don't

36:16

understand that sports have points that get continued

36:19

throughout the game. I just get immediately like

36:21

stupid. Should it take off? take off this

36:23

florida jacket but anyway uh don't you love

36:25

how it still like gets you going though

36:27

like you don't care about florida most of

36:29

the year but then that one day you're

36:31

like this matters yes and the last few

36:33

minutes oh you the the highs are high

36:35

and the lows are low and then when

36:37

it's done it's like that could have never

36:39

existed for all i know that could have

36:42

never happened i could have imagined it uh

36:44

i do look forward to the final championship

36:46

though who do you think is going to

36:48

win we'll know by the time florida so

36:50

my my championship My

36:53

championship pick is still in my

36:55

bracket, still alive. Same. Very nice. That's

36:57

very good. you

36:59

say? Gonzaga ruined my bracket. Yeah,

37:02

you shouldn't pick them. Nope. I had them beating Houston.

37:04

I thought there was going to be an upset. Yeah.

37:07

It was not. It's the first year that

37:09

I did not homer pick really hard with

37:11

Gonzaga, and I was afraid of Houston. But,

37:13

man, they almost beat them. It was a

37:15

really good game. Yeah. Did you watch Studio?

37:18

Did I watch Studio? Studio. The studio

37:20

starring Seth Rogen? No, is it

37:22

good? It's really, really good, dude. You

37:25

should definitely, definitely watch

37:27

it. You will definitely like

37:30

it. It is one of

37:32

the most brilliant, nuanced minds

37:34

in Hollywood. It's great. He

37:36

makes the best choices. Really

37:38

does. Also, his

37:40

interior design. It

37:43

was really good. His houseplant

37:45

company? oh yes i

37:47

have a couple of those things that's that

37:49

orange ashtray you know that i have

37:51

that's like on a stand oh that's seth

37:53

rogan that's his houseplant company uh common

37:55

side effects caught up with that that's i

37:57

love that show so much dude same

37:59

i was uh i think i have one

38:01

episode left to go but that's a

38:03

really good one uh did you watch any

38:05

of the jack black snl last night

38:07

no you should watch i saw the cold

38:09

open this morning that's pretty good i

38:11

i it might be a little uh I

38:13

don't know. I feel like there's probably

38:15

two sides of the coin on an opinion

38:17

for Mike Myers as Elon Musk, but

38:19

I love it. Do you?

38:21

I do like it. Yeah. I

38:23

guess I've only seen it twice.

38:25

And the first time it was

38:27

him being cast as it was

38:30

so funny that I think it

38:32

carried it a lot. And then

38:34

this most recent one, I found

38:36

it less funny, but I was

38:38

also... It's just so Mike Myers.

38:40

It reminds me of... Yeah, it

38:42

is. His glitch thing is like...

38:44

it's not even it's such a

38:46

brilliant addition to something that isn't

38:48

even a part of elon musk's

38:50

actuality but i love it so

38:52

much it's not yeah and i

38:54

like that he just says glitch

38:56

glitch otherwise he could do it

38:58

and they would go oh no

39:00

he's glitching but instead glitch that's

39:02

the most mike myers uh part

39:04

of it and i'm glad that

39:06

he's there but yeah jack black

39:08

um he's jack black

39:10

man he's just really good at what

39:12

he does pure charisma i was watching

39:14

speaking of drew gooden um he did

39:17

a video that i watched on watching

39:19

every snl movie um like specifically snl

39:21

films and ranking them according to which

39:23

ones were good and which ones were

39:25

bad and it was interesting because it

39:27

was stuff some that i hadn't even

39:29

heard of and uh and

39:32

yeah like he went into the

39:34

backstory of all of them and

39:36

like the blues brothers blues brothers

39:38

2000 and um i think he

39:40

ranked the best as i don't

39:42

remember the best i know the

39:44

worst was blues brothers 2000 did

39:47

it have to be a snl

39:49

cast member or an snl character

39:51

turned into a movie i think

39:53

character turned into movie and from

39:55

like specifically snl studios so like

39:57

uh Night at the Roxbury

40:00

would be SNL, but a Will

40:02

Ferrell movie wouldn't be an SNL. Right,

40:04

especially because none of those characters

40:06

were. Interesting. So what was his favorite?

40:09

I want to say it was maybe

40:11

Wayne's World, but not Wayne's World

40:14

2. He was like, that was a

40:16

load of garbage. I

40:18

don't remember what the absolute

40:20

favorite was, but some of them...

40:22

Oh, wait, what are they? I

40:25

can remember what they are. I

40:27

can look them up. There's Superstar,

40:29

there's Ladies Man, there's Night at

40:31

the Roxbury, there's, man. Oh,

40:33

MacGruber was hands down his favorite.

40:35

Oh, MacGruber's so good. Yeah, I

40:37

do want to watch it. Oh, It's Pat

40:39

was the one that he was like, that's probably

40:41

the worst one. And

40:44

Ladies Man, he was like, this

40:46

is not a character. He went a

40:48

lot in like, these are not

40:50

characters that you like. that

40:52

deserve their own movie. But the one that

40:54

he said that the most about was Coneheads.

40:56

Cause he was like, they made a movie

40:58

out of a sketch from like 15 years

41:00

ago, like out of nowhere that no one

41:02

was asking for. And he was like, it's

41:05

a very, no one acknowledges that they're Coneheads.

41:07

And he was like, they're unpleasant to look

41:09

at. And then he was like, but as

41:11

I watched it, I started loving it and

41:13

I started getting it. And it's like, it's

41:15

very good. Ackroyd effect. It's

41:17

very interesting that somebody like Drew

41:19

Gooden. would go

41:21

and do an snl list i

41:23

was actually thinking about snl

41:25

and like the public zeitgeist recently

41:27

and just how interesting it

41:30

is that it it's like it's

41:32

weirdly important across the board

41:34

in a in a conversation yeah

41:36

like people on youtube are

41:38

sharing and talking about it constantly

41:40

but the show itself still

41:43

gets shit on a lot yeah

41:45

it's like water cooler yeah and

41:47

everyone's ability to shit on it

41:50

is remarkable um it's like fun

41:52

for people to shit on snl

41:54

yeah no i still uh still

41:56

a ardent fan i have um

41:58

show do you so you're still

42:00

you like when you're seeing jack

42:02

black on everything i feel like

42:04

he's unleashed when he's on a

42:06

pr tour everyone knows about it

42:08

because he's doing some great stuff

42:10

he's got great pr people but

42:12

every now and then i am

42:14

like what is he like behind

42:16

the i hear he's

42:18

great like really good he seems great

42:20

like he seems like one of those

42:22

the vibe you get is like this

42:25

is legitimately good dude when i was

42:27

watching him on his little press tour

42:29

for minecraft and then also being on

42:31

snl i just had the thought of

42:33

like that is a dude where i

42:35

think about 10 maybe even five years

42:37

ago maybe even four years ago he

42:39

was like fuck it i'm just gonna

42:41

lean into this and he is just

42:43

being like you know like

42:45

bob hope in those type of

42:47

entertainers back in like the 50s 40s

42:49

they were like oh that's just

42:52

that's what they do that's who he

42:54

is bob hope i feel like

42:56

jack black is now that yeah like

42:58

i'm an entertainer this is who

43:00

i am it's more it's less even

43:02

art now it's just this is

43:04

my personality yeah leaning into it so

43:06

hard but it's him so it's

43:08

charismatic and it works yeah he knows

43:10

how to give the people yeah

43:13

exactly what they want and uh we

43:15

watched you know the show love

43:17

on the spectrum yes i've never watched

43:19

but i know it yeah well

43:21

besides the argument we got into about

43:23

it because i was like you

43:25

know i have my critiques of it

43:27

but it's a great people great

43:29

heartwarming show did you see the clip

43:32

on kelly clarkson the new ellen

43:34

of uh jack black meeting one of

43:36

the guys from love on the

43:38

spectrum yeah very sweet yeah but he

43:40

walks in like yeah he does

43:42

look kicking in i'm jack he's like

43:44

52 years old and he starts

43:46

his monologue off with a somersault yeah

43:48

yeah it's great he's the best

43:50

all right anyways everybody go check out

43:53

uh grace and elliott's show in

43:55

phoenix uh it's on jefferson street at

43:57

a place and then uh also

43:59

support my daughter's lls journey if you

44:01

could. And if you may yes out

44:04

my Instagram more on that or in the

44:06

description if you to put it in there. She

44:08

did a great job pitching us. And then

44:10

we forgot to donate for a second. And then

44:12

I was like, oh, oh, babe, don't forget

44:14

to do that? Love it. Because

44:16

was like, otherwise, Joe's to be really mad at

44:18

me. I'll be so upset. He'll be so

44:20

mad. But it out everybody. come

44:22

to Phoenix. Come Come say hi. And I'll

44:25

out some of, you know, she's done a really good job

44:27

of reaching out to people like Elliot other people that

44:29

I've like hooked up with without me doing the work. She's

44:31

doing it with her. Nice. Nice. She

44:33

So shout out to Nicole over at React.

44:35

She brought them into the studio and let

44:37

them shoot a video out and shout out

44:39

to Andy Ogren, who's editing said video. So

44:41

we'll have some video assets to show. Nice.

44:44

Nice. Yeah. It's really cool. That video is

44:46

going to to be incredible. Yeah.

44:48

And the pitch was really good. Like

44:50

we were like, I forgot that

44:52

she's like a kid. Like a human.

44:54

I was like, she's an excellent

44:56

presentation. It's a good program. Anyway. Anyways.

44:59

that's it. bye