0:22

Not everything that happened before

0:24

this moment. Not just in

0:26

the podcast, but in your

0:28

life. Your new life starts

0:30

today. And I'm here to tell

0:33

you that your potential is limitless

0:35

and the possibilities are endless with

0:38

what you do with this

0:40

time now. Forget who you

0:42

were. Forget your old friends

0:44

and family. They're gone. They're

0:46

not important anymore. You got

0:48

to cut these people out. We

0:50

are your friends. and with time

0:53

and affection and your money,

0:55

enthusiastic, recurring payments

0:57

and enthusiastic consent we

0:59

will become your family.

1:01

You will become our family

1:04

and you will become, we

1:06

will become financially dependent

1:08

on you and in turn

1:10

you will become, once we

1:12

have the money, financially dependent

1:14

on us. What does that

1:17

mean? It's a circular economy.

1:19

That's right. Read a book, guys.

1:21

We're not trying to separate you from

1:24

your money. We're trying to make your

1:26

money, work for you. And also

1:28

get you a healthy distance from

1:30

your money? Because if you're just

1:32

surrounded by your money too much,

1:34

that's also not healthy. Money is

1:36

a corrupting force. And you need,

1:38

we're here to liberate you. You

1:40

do need people you trust. People

1:42

you know, have known for a

1:45

while. People like us to step

1:47

in and say, hey. Why don't

1:49

we lighten your load both emotionally

1:51

and you know financially

1:54

to give you the freedom that

1:56

will afford you the lifestyle

1:58

you've always won? will afford

2:00

you the ability to connect with

2:03

people the way you've always wanted

2:05

to. How? The details are not

2:07

important. There being what we call,

2:09

figure it out. Okay? We're figuring

2:11

it out. We just need a

2:13

little seed money. Just need a

2:15

little seed money. Okay? Just to

2:17

help us figure it out. But

2:19

also here's the thing. You don't

2:21

want your money. You shouldn't want

2:24

your money. You shouldn't want your

2:26

money. You need to get it

2:28

away from you. And we are

2:30

going to collect that toxic waste

2:32

and get it out of your

2:34

life. Because if the love of

2:36

money is the root of all

2:38

evil, what could be gooder than

2:40

Tim and Guy having your money?

2:42

See, this is the thing. Give

2:45

us your money and you will

2:47

be happier and you will be

2:49

free. And you will be powerful

2:51

and you will be strong. Now

2:53

if you're not attuned to satire,

2:55

what we just described was a

2:57

church. Welcome along! Here's an idea

2:59

though for a cult, right? What

3:01

if you don't call your cult

3:03

the family? Every cult does that.

3:06

You got to try something new,

3:08

because very few cults sort of

3:10

sustain past a few years. But

3:12

what's the saying? You can choose

3:14

your family, but you can choose

3:16

your friends. Is the chosen family?

3:18

Chosen family is your friends, I

3:20

guess. chosen family. Yeah, but at

3:22

least get away from family. This

3:25

is, this is, well, this is,

3:27

it's like going to a workplace,

3:29

which is like, we're actually family

3:31

here. No one wants that. Often

3:33

people want boundaries. People want to

3:35

go to work from nine to

3:37

five, not think about it after

3:39

they leave. They want their holiday

3:41

entitlements honored, without fuss, no one

3:43

wants must. It's we what we

3:46

failed to do I think was

3:48

you need to offer something up

3:50

front you need to give a

3:52

small tokenistic offering which says hey

3:54

we're not just taking we're giving

3:56

you know you need to there

3:58

needs to be something material that

4:00

you can sink your teeth into

4:02

that the people can sink so

4:04

that challenge coin It could be

4:07

that. You just need, it needs

4:09

to blindside them that you're actually

4:11

ultimately going to be taking. Yeah.

4:13

Totally unrelated. I bought us a

4:15

sandwich to share. Oh man, there's

4:17

no way I'm eating it. That

4:19

looks fantastic and I appreciate you.

4:21

It has got a lot of

4:23

wet on it and I'm not

4:26

going to eat that into a

4:28

microphone. Get it amongst that sandwich.

4:30

Hey Tim, Tim, come on. The

4:32

sandwich is going to be the

4:34

third co-host today. This is a

4:36

sandwich I've been looking at buying.

4:38

for... Do you want to shout

4:40

them out? Casadour. Nice. I've been

4:42

looking at buying for a month

4:44

now. It's going to be an

4:47

old sandwich. My God, I'm a

4:49

joke. And today I bought it

4:51

and I thought I'd share it

4:53

with my friend Tim. Thank you

4:55

so much. No worries, ma'am. Well

4:57

not eat it while we record.

4:59

Help yourself. No way. So I'm

5:01

seeing delicious cucumber I'm seeing on

5:03

a foca bread. Is that right?

5:05

You're the foodie. I can't contribute

5:08

until you've had a mouth or

5:10

that delicious sandwich. I simply won't.

5:12

Let us... Allow me, maybe I'll

5:14

have a bite. Yeah, okay, cool.

5:16

Please do. Into the microphone. My

5:18

point, while you're having a, getting

5:20

your chompers around there, my point

5:22

about the cult is, just be

5:24

up front. Has anyone tried that?

5:26

Just saying, hey, we're a cult,

5:29

would you like to join a

5:31

cult? Come and join our cult.

5:33

Here's what we do. One way

5:35

to offer a point of difference

5:37

in the market, because I feel

5:39

there's a lot of cults at

5:41

the moment, is just be totally

5:43

up front and go, here's what

5:45

we do, here's what we're all

5:48

about. Why does the word have

5:50

such exclusively negative connotations? It's a,

5:52

my understanding, pretty negative sort of

5:54

a thing, you put someone through

5:56

in a cult. Always, some people

5:58

describe like, um... I've seen positive

6:00

descriptions where some people are like,

6:02

oh, it's a bit cold, you

6:04

know, like, yeah, like it's kind

6:06

of cold, you know, they're talking

6:09

about the... group of friends or

6:11

they're working like it's a bit

6:13

culty but they're putting a fun

6:15

spin on it where they're like

6:17

but you know it's self-knowing so

6:19

it can't be an actual cult

6:21

because I'm calling it a cult

6:23

yeah and that's I guess where

6:25

your pitch comes in which is

6:27

like no no it's a cult

6:30

yeah it's a cult it's a

6:32

cult yeah and then people think

6:34

well it can't be a bad

6:36

cult because they're something too that

6:38

isn't there because that's a very

6:40

confident if you're just saying It's

6:42

a breath of fresh air. And

6:44

the marketplace of ideas? This is

6:46

a new one. Man. We're using

6:48

a lot of exciting turns of

6:51

phrase to start the show today.

6:53

It's this beautiful Java. So what

6:55

I'm going to do, I'm going

6:57

to check in with our friends

6:59

at random word genera. I'd love

7:01

to hear from them. Because they're

7:03

going to have a word for

7:05

us. Can I ask how you

7:07

are? That might find a house,

7:10

might find a home, rather, in

7:12

a phrase. How are you guy?

7:14

I'm reasonable. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Be

7:16

reasonable, Tim. That is really well

7:18

woven. Our word of the day.

7:20

How am I? I'm actually, I'm

7:22

good. I'm in good spirits. How

7:24

do you get here? I'm so

7:26

glad you get here. I'm so

7:28

glad you are. Which is a

7:31

real guy, isn't. I am, by

7:33

the way this t-shirt I'm wearing

7:35

is merchandise for another podcast, Neurotic

7:37

News with Dan Rath and Damien

7:39

Power. Oh, I see clips of

7:41

it all the time, I should

7:43

sub to that, Neurotic News. So

7:45

funny. I can't imagine, both individual

7:47

units of that podcast are tremendously

7:49

funny. That's right. And together? I

7:52

simply can't fare them. That's right.

7:54

But no, I'm good man. Life

7:56

is good. Family's good. Work is

7:58

flattening out to what I would

8:00

describe as a manageable load. Love

8:02

there. And if my... forecast for

8:04

the year? Reasonable? Load? Yeah, if

8:06

my forecast for the year holds

8:08

true, that, and you know, who

8:11

knows what, mysteries and surprises and

8:13

exciting, you know, pyramids and pits,

8:15

I don't know, you know, peaks

8:17

and pits are the years in

8:19

store for me, but that's what

8:21

I'm hoping, I'm hoping that the,

8:23

the... The work-life balance remains at

8:25

this temperature, this volume. This is

8:27

what you want. You're in the

8:29

pocket. We're in a comfortable zone

8:32

where I feel like I can

8:34

honour every commitment in my life

8:36

happily. Oh nice. And it's not

8:38

going to last forever and so

8:40

I'm taking a moment to acknowledge

8:42

it and say I'm grateful for

8:44

this. How beautiful. How beautiful to

8:46

recognize and have gratitude for the

8:48

wonderful situation you're in. But also

8:50

not hold on to it too

8:53

tightly. And that you would... poison

8:55

yourself with money. Yeah, I've found

8:57

a great guy called Tim. Yeah,

8:59

and he's helping me with my

9:01

finances. And it's been a wait

9:03

off my mind. How are you?

9:05

I'm well also. Thank you. That's

9:07

okay. Yeah, man. Similarly, I don't

9:09

know. I'm just like, I'm in

9:11

a beautiful situation. Beautiful family. Yeah,

9:14

it's a true blessing. Two wonderful

9:16

boys. So nice. Word's best wife.

9:18

Yeah. Can ask for more. Have

9:20

you got to the mug. Haven.

9:22

Haven yet. That'll be a good

9:24

mug. It will be. What's the

9:26

next thing coming up? We've had

9:28

Valentine's Day wedding anniversary, because I

9:30

will not be getting it for

9:33

no reason for you. Okay. This

9:35

is a, this is a big,

9:37

um, off-season gift giver. You know,

9:39

I'm a, you bring me gifts

9:41

all the time. You've done it

9:43

right now with a sandwich. I

9:45

like. There's a certain spontaneity to

9:47

the sort of. seeing or discovering

9:49

of something I think a person

9:51

will like, particularly Chelsea, and I

9:54

will bestow that gift without waiting

9:56

for occasion. It's gorgeous. What it

9:58

means and has been addressed. is

10:00

that I sometimes don't mark

10:02

milestones with the same enthusiasm.

10:04

Is that fine though? Because

10:06

it is fine, but I've

10:09

not failed to fire, but

10:11

the birthday, which is

10:13

obviously the biggest individual

10:15

one for anyone, has

10:18

consistently been... I would say only

10:20

look warm for me. It's impossible for

10:22

me to judge my own efforts and

10:24

we would need to ask Zoe, but

10:26

traditionally I think I'm pretty good on

10:28

the birthday and I make a special

10:30

effort because Zoe's birthday is right after

10:32

New Year's. Yeah, so you got a

10:34

historic year. You got a big start

10:36

of the year then. You got the

10:38

birthday, the anniversary, you got Valentine's Day. All

10:41

within three months. This year combined the

10:43

more, cannot recall if I talked about

10:45

this on the pod. Christmas and

10:47

birthday. We love that when we're

10:49

a kid, don't we folks? Don't

10:51

we love that? For Zoe, took

10:53

the family to Christchurch, still Crungven,

10:55

live. Oh yeah, that's a great

10:58

good. That is a generous man. That

11:00

was really cool. That was really

11:02

cool. It was really cool. And

11:04

Christchurch rocks. Yeah, it's on the

11:06

out. Everyone's talking about it. It's

11:08

legit true. I had a conversation

11:11

with a guy about it yesterday.

11:13

Yeah, it's getting a lot of.

11:15

I think... It does, it holds

11:17

an appeal for people, it's cheaper,

11:19

it's if you're starting a

11:21

family, which many people are,

11:23

or have, it's a wonderful

11:25

place for that. There's a

11:27

good little community, it's a

11:30

good size. great access to

11:32

the outdoors, but a big

11:34

enough city that there's stuff

11:36

going on. They're building a

11:38

big fucking stadium. They're building

11:40

a big... Which is right

11:42

next to the city. Like

11:44

it's in the city. Yeah, it

11:47

is. Which is cool. That's a

11:49

cool thing. Architectural Marvel.

11:51

They've got the best playground

11:53

in the country. Yes,

11:56

Margaret, May playground. Again,

11:58

right in the city. Yeah. you

12:00

get a bicycle? Or rollerblades. Yeah.

12:02

I recently was thinking about getting

12:04

a peer of rollerblades again. That

12:06

is so you. Did you get

12:08

good? I was right we all

12:10

had rollerblades as kids I think

12:12

because I'm from Christchurch. Yeah so

12:14

my eldest brother Dave was really

12:16

good for a time when he

12:18

was I think sort of 15-16-17

12:20

he got really good at it.

12:22

We had a I had a

12:24

peer yeah I could I could

12:26

skate I could get back on

12:29

there. Very different picture in Wellington

12:31

in Auckland, owing to our undulating

12:33

cities. There's just something about you

12:35

getting into roller skating in your

12:37

mid to late 30s, which screams.

12:39

There was like a fucking hell

12:41

of an indictment, you're saying that.

12:43

It screams. And I know you're

12:45

right, I know you're right, I'm

12:47

not denying it. I mean, visually,

12:49

I can, like, it's style-wise? I

12:51

can see it. I'm getting my

12:53

big e-bike fixed up at the

12:55

moment. That's going out of commission

12:57

for a couple months. I mean,

12:59

if you got your license, your

13:01

e-bike and your rollerblades. Word's my

13:03

oyster. The world is your oyster.

13:05

I can put my, I can

13:07

get some saddlebags on the e-bike,

13:10

put my rollerblades in there, put

13:12

the bike in a car, and

13:14

then I can just travel unfathomable

13:16

distances. No, there's just something about

13:18

that. I mean, and look, this

13:20

is, I'm saying this now, just

13:22

to, I'm spotlight, and it's not

13:24

what I- You can take the

13:26

kitty gloves off, guy. It's not

13:28

what I would wish for you,

13:30

but there's something about, I've got

13:32

you, in jeans, t-shirt, Hawaiian shirt

13:34

over the top, Wellington waterfront, rollerblades

13:36

on. Why not? I'm seeing you

13:38

fall over? Yeah. I'm seeing a

13:40

trip to the trip to the

13:42

hospital. It's just like that it's

13:44

so clear in my mind. I

13:46

don't get hurt that often. I've

13:48

never been to the hospital. This

13:51

is a guy. When do they

13:53

say pride cometh? Uh, pride cometh

13:55

when earned? I believe it's the

13:57

second half of that sentence. And

13:59

it has been earned. I've never

14:01

broken a bone. I've not so

14:03

much as chipped a tooth in

14:05

my life. This is like, I

14:07

haven't fractured anything. You are begging

14:09

to be smoked. I'm giving you

14:11

reasons why you're wrong. Okay, this

14:13

should not be ammunition for my

14:15

downfall. I don't want to hear

14:17

from you when the injury happens

14:19

that I brought this upon you.

14:21

I do not want to be

14:23

a part of it. No, I'm

14:25

actually, I think I think I'm

14:27

good at assessing risk. I think

14:29

I'm good at assessing risk. I

14:31

think I'm good at assessing risk.

14:34

I would have shin pads on.

14:36

I would, you know, I'm fucking

14:38

looking at 40. I'm looking down

14:40

the barrel of 40. I'm not

14:42

gonna go out, but that's why

14:44

it's crazy. You're talking about getting

14:46

into rollerblading. Why? Because you're looking

14:48

down the barrel of 40. I'm

14:50

fair, I'm good though. I'm good.

14:52

I'd say this body belongs to

14:54

an average, you know, 30. Two-year-old.

14:56

Those mother fckers. Can you do

14:58

that? There's like biometric testing you

15:00

can do with your biological age.

15:02

I don't know what it's. Is

15:04

that your phone going? Yeah. No,

15:06

no, no. No. We've got to

15:08

keep it. We've got to keep

15:10

guys phone on everybody because there

15:12

might be someone dropping by. I

15:15

got a text from my mom.

15:17

Oh yeah. May I know. She's

15:19

planning to come visit us. Um,

15:21

kind of recently I mentioned that

15:23

is that my friend Nick's, um,

15:25

dad's seven years, Wellington recently, got

15:27

to catch up with his family.

15:29

What a nice thing to do.

15:31

Yeah. His two sisters, I haven't

15:33

seen in years. Oh, how are

15:35

they? They're great. Did you get

15:37

along well with them? Were you

15:39

like, it's annoying friend? Or you

15:41

call, they're like, hey Tim? I

15:43

was a moderating force. the middle

15:45

yeah classic sister right the side

15:47

just the sandwich he's getting a

15:49

lot of air time isn't he

15:51

old nook he should be sponsoring

15:53

the show I don't know if

15:56

he likes it listen to this

15:58

no but why don't I don't

16:00

think he does but yeah the

16:02

circle of friends do. So he

16:04

gets updates brought to him. Really?

16:06

He does get a lot, hey.

16:08

I don't even spend that much

16:10

time with the guy. Don't see

16:12

what all the fuss is about.

16:14

So what did you make of

16:16

the sandwich? Because you've taken a

16:18

bite at this point and I

16:20

haven't heard. It's fantastic. It's something

16:22

I've been looking forward to. It's

16:24

a meso chicken sandwich. So there's

16:26

a meso, they've put the chicken

16:28

through a meso mix. Then you

16:30

got some pickle. got a bit

16:32

of cheese, you got a lovely

16:34

bit of salad, and it's a

16:36

light smattering of butter on the

16:39

bottom. It's a pretty straightforward bit

16:41

of sandwich, but the flavor profile

16:43

is fantastic, the bread's lovely. Can

16:45

I ask you a question at

16:47

the risk of showcasing myself to

16:49

be ignorant? No. A pickle? Is

16:51

it pickled cucumber? It's a great

16:53

question. Like one that maybe it's

16:55

like a it's a pickled bonsai

16:57

cucumber right? Because it's like it's

16:59

before it got too big. You're

17:01

like no, into vinegar with you.

17:03

There is what a pickle is

17:05

though, right? That's from my understanding

17:07

too. It's from the cucumber plant.

17:09

If they're not if they're not

17:11

family. Yeah. It's crazy. What's a

17:13

gurkin? A gurkin is a pickle.

17:15

I mean I'm imagining like a

17:17

sliced pickle as a gurkin as

17:20

a gurkin in my gurkin in

17:22

my head. Fry cooking at McDonald's

17:24

many moons ago now. There was

17:26

a high school professional pursuit for

17:28

Timbo. It's always giving you a

17:30

great. What that is is pickle.

17:32

It's always giving you a great

17:34

admiration for the like, the machinery

17:36

of it all. In the interest,

17:38

the managerial infrastructure, the pathways that

17:40

they present. Oh yeah yeah yeah

17:42

yeah the people organization component of

17:44

it and also literally the machinery

17:46

the people machinery in the machinery

17:48

machinery McDonald's is not good but

17:50

it is impressive that could be

17:52

true that could be true for

17:54

so many things yeah you know

17:56

yeah if you're being reasonable about

17:58

the way you assess the world.

18:01

Exxon Mobil is not good, but

18:03

it is impressive what they've pulled

18:05

off. You have a great joke about Exxon

18:07

Mobil at the end of the show. It

18:09

wasn't great, but thank you for saying that.

18:11

It was me trying to justify the title

18:13

of as climate change funny yet. A show

18:16

title, which I feel like you go to

18:18

me into selecting, and I'm glad you did,

18:20

because I think it worked well. But then

18:22

you sort of had to answer the promise

18:24

of the premise on that premise on

18:26

that show title, and so I sat down and

18:29

tried to nut out. What was the Exxon Mobile

18:31

bit though? It was a very long story

18:33

about what Exxon did, which was find out

18:35

that they were causing climate change and then

18:37

hire all of the climate scientists to work

18:39

for them. Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. And then, yeah,

18:41

you're just satisfying. Yeah, I can't remember

18:43

what the new mom about the end of your show.

18:45

Oh, I think I saw a video that I was.

18:48

They've come to your, no, they've come to your

18:50

show to. Oh, that's right. The reason I

18:52

was saying this entire story, this entire story

18:54

is because I was saying this entire story

18:56

is because I was trying to. I kept repeating

18:58

it in rooms of people so

19:00

that word may get back to

19:02

them so that they may offer

19:04

me fabulous sums of money to

19:07

shut the fuck up about eggs

19:09

on mobile. I find it satisfying

19:11

and funny. I can't wait to

19:13

get back into stand-up. It's going

19:15

to be fun. Next year, that's

19:18

the plan. Yep. Guess who's back?

19:20

Hopefully Timbo. Definitely.

19:22

But things change sometimes. Yeah.

19:24

I, I, um... I still love it. I'm going

19:26

through a... I haven't been watching a

19:28

lot of stand-up. I've been listening to

19:31

comedy podcast You know trying to how

19:33

does the comedy podcast landscape guy as

19:35

you said I don't know like you

19:37

know and we're talking the big head

19:40

is guys favorite Joe Rogan of course

19:42

number one with a baller he doesn't

19:44

miss an episode deep into the Rogan

19:46

sphere loves it I Sincerely haven't listened

19:49

to an episode before but you love

19:51

Rogan you love Tim Dylan you love

19:53

Theo Thio von you love Theovon you

19:55

love it all. I imagine if it's a

19:58

white guy with a podcast. Yeah. Sign him. up.

20:00

It's a full-time job isn't it to

20:02

like listen to all of Rogan? Aren't

20:04

there episodes three hours? And aren't there

20:07

multiple ones a week? Yeah he puts

20:09

out like two or three a week.

20:11

That's like crazy that's in a crazy

20:14

amount of volume of time to have

20:16

available to the listenership. I know isn't

20:18

it? That's how you get to be

20:20

so powerful. Yeah. Just by virtue of

20:23

like hearing the same guy for that

20:25

many hours in the week. you're in

20:27

there, you're connected with it. Again, and

20:30

I was reflecting recently, I don't know

20:32

why it's not interesting really to discuss,

20:34

but about him, him in stand-up comedy,

20:37

like this incredibly influential sort of king-making

20:39

position he is established for himself, whereby

20:41

he can handpick, you know, or get

20:43

brought to him by his... you know

20:46

jesters yes who the next wave of

20:48

you know of comedians you know that

20:50

fit inside of his manosphere yeah and

20:53

then like he puts out a comedy

20:55

special and the loudest silence I've ever

20:57

seen from all these comedians who's helped

21:00

raise up who like probably can get

21:02

one Instagram story out being like You

21:04

know, the king's got a special out

21:06

or whatever, but there's no clips being

21:09

shared. There's no actual substance or content

21:11

being like, can you believe? Like, he

21:13

can't even think of one joke that

21:16

is deemed worthy by all of the

21:18

people in his sphere to be like,

21:20

this is an example of someone being

21:22

funny. All of it is just like...

21:25

Have you tried watching it? The most

21:27

recent one he made? Burn the boats?

21:29

No. Yeah, burn the boats. I think

21:32

I got through half of it. I

21:34

watched out of more big curiosity and

21:36

it was atrocious. Fern Brady posted a

21:39

YouTube video. I think I can't remember

21:41

the name of the account. It's something

21:43

elephant. It's like quite a, it's you

21:45

know, it's a YouTube specific kind of

21:48

channel which is like to picking apart

21:50

the, picking apart the robin sphere, I

21:52

guess or whatever, but it was like

21:55

a. half hour analysis about the various

21:57

mental breakdowns that Joe Rogan is having

21:59

through the special and the materials around

22:01

it and it was really quite an

22:04

intense and funny watch. But like, yeah,

22:06

it's just so, it's so funny to

22:08

be positioned in the way. The most

22:11

influential comedian in the world without being

22:13

anywhere near good at comedy. Well, like,

22:15

well, being like, sort of, I would

22:18

say. Not below open mic level, but

22:20

like the material, I actually, this is

22:22

inspiring me to watch it. You should.

22:24

It's crazy, you know, that is a

22:27

part of, there's actually, that's not just

22:29

unique to us, is it? There's a,

22:31

everyone has a pull in them to

22:34

watch things that they know, that they

22:36

will. that what seems they will knowingly

22:38

not enjoy. I don't know if I've

22:40

ever revealed this on the podcast before

22:43

because this is not something I'm particularly

22:45

proud of but I was flying over

22:47

to Melbourne to start to run in

22:50

my festival hour a few years ago

22:52

and I had so little of the

22:54

show done and I was sweating but

22:57

like I just felt atrocious so stressed

22:59

so anxious so sad so angry at

23:01

myself that I wasn't further along and

23:03

on the plane ride over to cheer

23:06

myself. This is this, this is villainous

23:08

behaviour. I need you to support me

23:10

on this revelation. I'm excited to hear

23:13

it. I don't think even, I don't

23:15

think you even told me this off

23:17

the podcast. I watched Amy Shuma, it's

23:20

special, and it did make me feel

23:22

a lot better about the junior. Wow.

23:24

Is that the Netflix one where she

23:26

was in leather I think? Yeah, I

23:29

think that's right. Yep. And you were

23:31

like, and you were like, and you

23:33

thought I was like, I'm gonna be

23:36

okay. I can do this. I can

23:38

do at least this. It's funny, isn't

23:40

it? Because that is, I think that's

23:42

the journey to so many people starting,

23:45

which is watching someone who's bad. That's

23:47

how I kicked off. I went to

23:49

some open mics because my brother used

23:52

to live with some comedians in Wellington

23:54

and so back in the day. And

23:56

so I went and saw them. And

23:59

I was like, I can at least

24:01

be as good as the shittest guy

24:03

on this line. I can do that.

24:05

Yeah. And that is, it's just that

24:08

writ large. It's that again, reemphasized by

24:10

someone who's one of the biggest comedians

24:12

in the world. Yeah. And you're like,

24:15

I can do that. Yeah, yeah. But

24:17

also like, you know, go with God.

24:19

Would you, will you? Can I ask?

24:21

Can I ask if you love Rog

24:24

Rogan? Fine. Fair play it. Yeah, yeah.

24:26

You can like, you can like a

24:28

lot, cognitive dissonance has never been so

24:31

in vogue. Like people, the mental arithmetic

24:33

people have to do to enjoy anything

24:35

now. It's like, everyone is in a

24:38

beautiful mind. Like if you actually zoom

24:40

into anyone's brain and they were justifying,

24:42

I like this thing and this thing,

24:44

it's like the amount of sums they

24:47

would have to do to make both

24:49

acceptable next to each other. Can I

24:51

ask when you put on the shuma

24:54

special? You weren't doing it for for

24:56

inspo you would you would you were

24:58

I was doing it for its intended

25:00

Yeah, yeah, it did a job. Yeah,

25:03

which was I had heard online a

25:05

lot about how bad it was Yeah,

25:07

and I thought maybe it would help

25:10

me if I watched an incredibly successful

25:12

comedian fail on stuff And I did

25:14

did did you get a similar thing

25:17

with Schneider or was that different? Schneider

25:19

was different Schneider's different because your relationship

25:21

to Shnai is successful. He's not as

25:23

successful. No. And not at all. He's

25:26

way crazier. Shuma does, she's not good

25:28

at, I will say, I don't think

25:30

she's going to stand up. She cops

25:33

a lot. There's a layer of criticism

25:35

which is just steeped and pure misogynism.

25:37

A hundred percent. Yeah. You can still

25:40

say. Both can be true. Yeah, both

25:42

things can be true. And I also

25:44

think that, and this has happened to

25:46

a number of particularly American comedians, I

25:49

think, like, she stretched herself so damn

25:51

thin. There were a few years there

25:53

where she had like a TV show,

25:56

multiple movies coming out, she's putting out

25:58

a special every like six months and

26:00

saying like, it's... It's very hard if

26:02

not impossible to make all of those

26:05

things good. Absolutely. And but also by

26:07

the same token like if your

26:09

goal is kind of getting a

26:11

big fan base briefly and getting

26:14

your bag. Once again go with

26:16

God like do your thing. Mission success.

26:18

Yeah do it. We're certainly running

26:20

ourselves. Running through a lot of

26:22

names of people who are infinitely

26:24

more successful than we'll ever be.

26:26

100% But do you know what

26:28

I've got that maybe they don't

26:30

have? I'm happy. Yeah, I think. Contentment?

26:33

I think that's the word I'm looking

26:35

for. There must be some contentment

26:37

in their lives. Some, but I don't know

26:39

if you get that psychotic drive to

26:42

be putting out multiple movies and

26:44

TV shows in special simultaneously if

26:46

you're all goods in your heart

26:48

and in your heart and in your head.

26:51

Then Amy started a family and then

26:53

I thought I didn't know that the

26:55

drive you know then the output has

26:57

dipped because I imagine she's focused on

26:59

other things enjoying a fantastical

27:01

life But maybe she's played it

27:04

perfectly sprinted got everything you know

27:06

and then started it never since

27:08

it's been enough a once you're

27:10

in the conversation people most people

27:12

send you have a hard time

27:14

just enjoying being out of it You

27:17

know, because you assume some of these people

27:19

have made enough money to last a

27:21

lifetime I was going to bring up

27:23

as John Stewart But now he is

27:25

back on his show. Yeah, they just

27:28

we quite gracefully. I thought Bill Withers did

27:30

it Bill Withers the musician he

27:32

released R. I don't know how many

27:34

some of the greatest soul albums

27:36

of all time and then just stopped

27:39

right? Just like went and enjoyed the

27:41

money Wow, that's cool. You know

27:43

what's cool enjoying your money? forget what

27:45

we were saying at the start of

27:48

this episode. Do you know it's actually

27:50

pretty cool? We don't want money from

27:52

wealthy people, we want money from people

27:55

who think they need the money. Yeah,

27:57

that's a reasonable thing to do. That's

27:59

our approach. You know what I

28:01

mean? I know what you mean.

28:03

Yeah. I wonder if our guest

28:05

is going to join us on

28:08

this episode. That's what I'm curious

28:10

about at this point in time.

28:12

I got to be honest with

28:14

you. Yeah, not feeling good? It's

28:16

not today. It's not today. But

28:18

I think it's next time. Okay,

28:21

that's fine. Can I tease another

28:23

guest that I'm trying to get

28:25

on our podcast? Yeah. What's Stephen

28:27

say? Well, nothing. We've discussed other

28:29

things. He's beaten me at chess

28:31

and the podcast balloon has remained

28:34

unpricked. I see. So I don't

28:36

know where he stands on it.

28:38

He is no wilting flower. But

28:40

not everyone wants to be on

28:42

a podcast and that's fine. I

28:44

don't think my dad wanted to

28:47

be on a podcast, but we

28:49

sort of go to the master.

28:51

I know. And I think the

28:53

podcast is richer for having... That

28:55

was a missed opportunity by us

28:57

to either get them on a

29:00

crossover or to get them on

29:02

a fast episode because the difference

29:04

between being like we will ostensibly

29:06

be talking about this yeah and

29:08

then any digression is bonus content

29:10

whereas if you're I'm like hey

29:13

dad this is what I said

29:15

hey dad how would you feel

29:17

about Tim and I calling you

29:19

up on the phone for a

29:21

chat yeah we'll record it's for

29:23

our podcast there's no agenda yeah

29:26

just some lads talking To which

29:28

Stephen said nothing. Yes. I respect

29:30

it. This is why I like

29:32

Stephen so much. Unless a man

29:34

would say yes or no to

29:36

that. When people used to call

29:39

up, when there were landlines and

29:41

people used to call up, his,

29:43

like the phone in his, he

29:45

had a home office and he'd

29:47

pick it up when my voice

29:49

broke. Yes. I would start picking

29:52

up his phone and saying, Stephen.

29:54

It's that field and calls for

29:56

the great man. And without fail,

29:58

they would launch into a conversation

30:00

about work or, you know, even

30:02

maybe just betting on a racehorse,

30:05

but like some sort of level

30:07

of jargon or adult or particularly

30:09

specific language that I didn't understand.

30:11

So every time it would be

30:13

a Stephen and then like within

30:15

10 seconds I'd be like, I'm

30:18

so sorry Charlie. Because I was

30:20

like, I can't fucking keep this

30:22

charade. It's a lot like when

30:24

I'm in a foreign country, I

30:26

want people to think I can

30:29

speak the language. So I'll always

30:31

learn like, I'll learn the hello

30:33

and the how are you. Sure.

30:35

And I'll go into cafes or,

30:37

you know, an establishment and I'll

30:39

try to establish that local language

30:42

report. And my goal is always

30:44

to be convincing enough that they

30:46

believe I could be fluent. It's

30:48

a pretty big goal. Well, yeah,

30:50

and if it works though, then

30:52

you get to like beyond your

30:55

two customary Sentences and then they

30:57

start talking to you the way

30:59

that you hope they would and

31:01

then you have to go I'm

31:03

so sorry. I can't do this

31:05

It is both a false errand

31:08

but also quite a ambitious goal.

31:10

Yeah, it's an ambitious stupid goal.

31:12

I mean, would you not say

31:14

watching grown-ups too? It's totally on

31:16

brand. Yeah ma'am. What are you

31:18

looking forward to at the moment?

31:21

Listen. I'm looking forward to... My

31:23

son is about to start kindy

31:25

soon and I'm looking forward to

31:27

that. I feel like he's going

31:29

to have a fantastic time. I'm

31:31

guessing three and a half? He

31:34

is. And he... Let me tell

31:36

you something about Remy. He's confident,

31:38

he's social, he loves just mucking

31:40

around. He's awesome. He's awesome. He's

31:42

awesome. and I think he's going

31:44

to thrive. And we've taken him

31:47

to a couple candies to sort

31:49

of road test a couple options

31:51

and every time, I take him

31:53

in there. And he just leaves

31:55

our side immediately, runs over to

31:57

some station where there's a Sampet

32:00

or a tour or something, introduces

32:02

himself. You know, people. And then

32:04

he starts playing. I love it

32:06

so much. It's so good. Last

32:08

time I was here, not on

32:10

a work occasion, but on social

32:13

occasion, I had a really thoroughly

32:15

good time with Remy. And then

32:17

I actually remember, I drove home

32:19

when I got home, I had

32:21

a message from Zoe. And she

32:23

said, Remy, Remy just said to

32:26

me, I had a really nice

32:28

play with Guy just now. He's

32:30

a great, he's a great guy.

32:32

He's a good dude. It's exciting.

32:34

He's the world, his world's getting

32:36

bigger every day. Yeah, that's what

32:39

I'm looking forward to. What are

32:41

you looking forward to, guy? Looking

32:43

forward to cracking into this, um,

32:45

this new hour, this new stand-up

32:47

hour. Actually, I've not plugged it

32:50

at all on the podcast, but

32:52

I'm touring Australia. You sell out

32:54

now pretty, you quote. Thoroughly, this

32:56

year. And a little bit of

32:58

New Zealand with my show, I've

33:00

noticed so many things, it would

33:03

be unfair not to share them

33:05

with you all. Is that the

33:07

title? Yeah. Is that the title?

33:09

I've noticed so many things would

33:11

be unfair not to share them

33:13

with you, not all. Yeah. That's

33:16

the title. That is some guy

33:18

Montgomery. Let's challenge the administrators of

33:20

the festival. Can handle it. So

33:22

I'm cracking it off in Melbourne.

33:24

I've done Adelaide and Canberra at

33:26

this point, but I'm doing Melbourne

33:29

for a month until April 20.

33:31

And then I'm going to Perth,

33:33

Sydney, Brisbane, Paramount, another part of

33:35

Sydney called Chatswood, Canberra, Hobart, Newcastle,

33:37

Wollongong, Adelaide, Geelong, Gold Coast. And

33:39

also doing Wellington and Auckland here

33:42

in NZ. But I'm really excited

33:44

like I'm folks really excited to

33:46

do big rooms. Yeah, there's lots

33:48

of tickets You need to go

33:50

and see him. If you're in

33:52

Australia, I'm in good shape. You

33:55

can get them all through my

33:57

Instagram. I've got a link tree

33:59

page there that will give you

34:01

all the information. But I'm genuinely

34:03

feeling, Carlo Ritchie, friend of the

34:05

podcast, friend of both of ours,

34:08

has directed the show. It's been

34:10

fun collaborating. And what I'm looking

34:12

forward to, it's not as sort

34:14

of fulsome or wholesome as yours,

34:16

but like, I love doing it.

34:18

and I'm really excited to do

34:21

it and it's funny now but

34:23

like I'm I know that within

34:25

a week it'll be funnier and

34:27

within two weeks it'll be funnier

34:29

still it amongst everyone and so

34:31

because at some point guy will

34:34

be dead and at a different

34:36

point in time you will be

34:38

too I'd defy you to go

34:40

to a guy Montgomery show and

34:42

not have a good time it's

34:44

it's true I will be dead

34:47

so that's what I'm I'm most

34:49

immediately looking forward to I think

34:51

I think that's a reasonable thing

34:53

to be looking forward to. It

34:55

is reasonable, entirely reasonable. Thank you

34:57

so much for listening. Thank you.

35:00

If you want the visual, it's

35:02

just a reminder, it is one

35:04

of the perks on our sub-stack,

35:06

where we charge a princely sum

35:08

of five US dollars a month.

35:11

It really does keep the whole

35:13

operation running here. It truly does.

35:15

I built this studio with money

35:17

that I don't have. And so...

35:19

You had to have some of.

35:21

Do you have to have enough

35:24

of, or they have to have

35:26

access to money in a way

35:28

the bank goes, we'll give you

35:30

more? Yeah, but here's the funny

35:32

thing. It's off the house that

35:34

they already aren't. So they're losing

35:37

twice. Or mathematically, I am. But

35:39

at any rate, we're very grateful

35:41

with our subscribers. And that's the

35:43

show. It's great. We've bookended it

35:45

by asking for your money.