0:00

Hey everyone, it's Rima. So over

0:02

the last five years, we've done more

0:04

than a hundred episodes of This is

0:07

Uncomfortable, and as much as we can, we like to

0:09

stay in touch with our guests to see how they're doing, you

0:11

know, if they have any updates. And

0:13

recently I caught up with Sean Pierre and

0:15

his mom Rebecca, who I interviewed a couple

0:17

years ago. Back then, they shared

0:19

this really intimate story that I think a

0:22

lot of families can relate to. Their story

0:24

gets at the struggles of saving for retirement,

0:26

the risks of letting your job define you,

0:29

and the sacrifices we make for the people we love.

0:32

I find their relationship to be very sweet and

0:34

was excited to hear what they've been up to.

0:36

But first, we're going to play the original episode and

0:39

then at the very end, we'll share their update. All

0:42

right, here it is.

0:46

For Sean Pierre Regis, 2016 started off

0:49

great. He was at the top of

0:51

his career. He'd gone from being an

0:53

assistant to a producer to eventually an

0:55

on-air contributor at CNN. And

0:58

his goal was just to keep on climbing. I was

1:01

consumed by that. And

1:03

I really thought that I would be the best

1:05

at it, that I would learn more, that I

1:07

would get bigger scoops, that I would get bigger

1:09

exclusives, that my name would get bigger. Getting

1:12

to this place hadn't been easy. You

1:14

could say it was the accumulation of

1:16

a lifelong marathon effort. And

1:18

not just his effort, his mom's too. He

1:21

pulled all-nighters in high school while she

1:23

worked overtime as a single mom. He

1:26

joined every extracurricular, got himself into a

1:28

selective college. She borrowed

1:30

money from friends, budgeted every

1:32

penny. And it seemed like he was becoming the

1:34

embodiment of all that hard work. He

1:37

turned out beautifully. This

1:40

is Sean Pierre's mom, Rebecca. He's

1:42

done very, very well. We're so

1:44

proud of him. But

1:46

it's right around this time, as his career

1:49

was really taking off, that

1:51

hers started to crumble. He

1:57

started realizing something was wrong when the calls

1:59

began. He'd be in the middle of

2:01

the newsroom when his mom would hit him up,

2:03

sounding incredibly upset. I never

2:05

heard my mom this

2:10

broken up, like back to back to

2:12

back to back to back, where

2:14

like she's sobbing on the

2:17

phone or she's screaming at the

2:19

top of her lungs. And

2:21

you could just like slowly

2:23

hear a different

2:26

mom. Rebecca

2:28

was the executive housekeeper for a hotel

2:30

in Boston, pretty much the same job

2:32

she'd held for Sean Piers whole life. But

2:35

now at 75 years old, she felt

2:37

like they were taking away her responsibilities,

2:39

leaving her out of important meetings. And

2:42

she says she started getting these disciplinary

2:44

notices that she'd never gotten before. I

2:47

felt I was being pushed out and I'd

2:49

get upset and I worked

2:51

so hard and be tired and

2:53

everything. She started to

2:55

wonder, am I going to lose

2:57

my job? She'd call Sean

2:59

Piers like three times a day and each time

3:01

he'd step aside from his desk or from the

3:03

live interview he was about to do and

3:06

he'd try to reassure her. Listen, mom, don't

3:08

worry. Everything is going to be OK. Just

3:11

write them back really kindly

3:13

and say this because they'll

3:15

take away from the emotion. Like

3:17

I hear it, but the points

3:19

that you need to get across. It'll

3:22

be fine, he told her. You'll be fine.

3:24

Everything was going to be fine. But

3:29

throughout these months, it became more and

3:31

more clear that things weren't fine. Rebecca

3:34

kept getting these weird vibes at work and

3:37

Sean Piers knew that if she lost her income,

3:40

he would be her only lifeline. And

3:42

then what would happen to his life? And

3:45

like if I missed this assignment, what happens

3:47

to me? What like where will I be?

3:49

You know, and so it was

3:51

just a constant negotiation about how much of myself

3:54

to to give. I'm

4:03

Eri Mejrez and welcome to This is Uncomfortable,

4:06

a show for marketplace about life and how

4:08

money messes with it. In

4:10

this country, we work and work and

4:12

work with the idea, or really the

4:14

promise, that at a certain point we'll

4:16

be able to stop working and just

4:19

chill, to retire and finally do all those

4:21

things we dreamed of and never had time for.

4:24

For so many Americans, though, that kind

4:26

of retirement is a mere fantasy.

4:28

And the plan is to, well, work

4:31

until we die. But

4:33

of course, it is not always up to you. And

4:36

if you fall, who's there to catch

4:38

you? This week, what

4:40

one person did when his mom's reality

4:42

came crashing down on both of them. The

4:52

way Sean Pierre describes his relationship with his

4:54

mom, I don't know, I found it really

4:56

sweet. I connected with her

4:58

on like just

5:01

like a soul level. You know,

5:03

it's it's really, really hard

5:05

to to describe. We

5:08

even as a kid. Yeah, even

5:10

as a kid, always in sync, always

5:12

in sync. I mean, we

5:14

talk together. We we

5:17

learn together. We read

5:19

together. We wrote together. I

5:21

interviewed them separately and they both

5:23

described their relationship as best friends.

5:26

We were always a

5:28

team. We've always been very close.

5:31

Rebecca raised her son and Sean Pierre's

5:34

older brother pretty much alone. She'd arrived

5:36

to the US from the UK in

5:38

her late 20s working in tourism. The

5:41

three of them then settled in Boston

5:43

at the YWCA, which offered affordable housing

5:45

for women. And right from

5:47

the jump, Sean Pierre's childhood was kind of

5:49

like this case study in contrast. First

5:52

off, they were an interracial family. He and his

5:54

brother are black while his mom Rebecca is

5:56

white. And even though they grew

5:58

up in affordable housing, the building. right in

6:00

the middle of this high-end area of Boston.

6:03

We grew up at the YW

6:05

in an area that was so wealthy,

6:07

right? Like the people who lived in

6:09

that building were folks

6:12

who were sort of just getting

6:14

bought. For decades,

6:16

Rebecca threw herself into her job

6:18

as an executive housekeeper. She'd

6:21

grown up during World War II in a family

6:23

where money was always tight. Her

6:25

own mom was a midwife who worked nonstop.

6:28

And Rebecca remembers asking her, isn't

6:30

this all too much? I'd

6:32

say, Mom, aren't you tired?

6:34

There's nothing I can't do. There's

6:36

nothing you can't do. Things

6:39

happen. You get up, you've got to do

6:41

them. You go up and you do them. That's been

6:43

my method for a whole life. There's nothing I cannot

6:45

do. So

6:50

yeah, for years, that's what Rebecca did.

6:52

She got up day after day and

6:54

provided for her sons. Her

6:56

apartment had two bedrooms. Her oldest son struggled

6:58

with mental illness, so she decided to give

7:01

him his own room. And

7:03

Sean Pierre shared a room and a bed with

7:05

her. Each

7:07

morning, Rebecca would wake up at 5.30, make

7:09

her sons some poached eggs, and fix her

7:11

hair into her signature high bun. She

7:14

told him who would pick them up from school and that there

7:16

was frozen dinner in the fridge. And

7:18

then she was off to work at the hotel,

7:20

from early morning until late in the evening. Her

7:23

hands were always, you know,

7:25

cracked and dry from chemicals.

7:27

I like to see it clean. I like

7:29

to see it finished and perfect. People trusted

7:32

her and they respected her and followed her.

7:34

I love my job. The

7:36

hotel family is your extended family. She

7:39

cared. You know, my mom, if any

7:41

of her room attendants' families passed

7:43

away, she would always be at the funeral.

7:46

I'd never been absent, never been late

7:48

in my whole career. Wow.

7:51

Never took a sick day. Why not?

7:53

Well, if you don't take your sick days, you get

7:55

paid three days pay. Gosh,

7:59

you make it. In

14:01

this video clip, Rebecca is slumped in a

14:03

chair in the living room looking distraught. She

14:06

was working even harder. She'd get in

14:08

earlier, stay later. Sean Pierre was

14:10

trying to help her any way he could. When

14:13

he had to be in New York, he'd send

14:15

her her favorite cheesecake or a big bouquet of

14:17

sunflowers. And when he was

14:19

with her in Boston, he tried to help her with

14:21

damage control. Maybe an email

14:23

to HR, maybe bring in a third party.

14:27

Then, in September of 2016, Sean

14:31

Pierre got a fateful voicemail. My

14:33

mom just says, I just got

14:35

fired. I just got fired. Call me. Call

14:38

me. Bye. End

14:41

of message. And

14:47

I remember, like,

14:50

my knees just giving out. Rebecca

14:56

had been called into an office and

14:58

told that the hotel was restructuring. They

15:01

thanked her and let her know that that day would

15:03

be her last day on the job. Sean

15:07

Pierre was hours away on a trip in

15:09

Paris, unable to get in touch with his

15:11

mom until the next morning. It was

15:13

really, it was just very hard. I was

15:15

in a daze, I think, for a couple of days. As

15:19

soon as Sean Pierre got back, he hopped on

15:21

a bus to Boston, where he found his mom

15:23

in pieces. They gave her two

15:25

weeks pay and told her that she needed to

15:28

leave the apartment within a year.

15:31

Her apartment was attached to her job. That's

15:34

part of the way Rebecca had made ends meet

15:36

all these years, by working in the same building

15:38

where she lived. It meant a smaller paycheck, but

15:40

she didn't have to pay rent. So

15:43

losing her job meant losing

15:45

her apartment, too. And

15:47

so, you know, it's kind of like that's

15:50

a doomsday scenario. It

15:53

felt like this bone deep betrayal. The

15:55

system they'd both put so much faith into

15:57

their whole lives. You know, capitalism, the American

15:59

people. dream. It had cut

16:01

her loose, essentially telling her, hmm, tough

16:04

luck, there's the door. And

16:07

again, just as her American dream was

16:09

dying, his was coming

16:11

true, you know, getting bigger assignments,

16:13

steadily climbing up the media ladder.

16:16

I'm like interviewing Tom Cruise, you know,

16:18

and feeling like, oh my God, does

16:20

it get better than this? And that

16:23

was what made the decision so hard about

16:25

what to do, because it

16:27

was like, well, look at

16:29

this world that's opening up for you. But

16:32

also, like, look at this world that's

16:34

closing in on her. And,

16:36

you know, like having to really

16:38

decide, like, well, which decision that

16:40

you make, are you going to

16:42

be able to live with? That

16:45

winter, Jean-Pierre made the only decision he felt like

16:47

he could live with. He would

16:49

temporarily move to Boston to support

16:51

his 75-year-old mom. He decided

16:54

not to renegotiate his contract with CNN, which was

16:56

a big chunk of his earnings. He

16:58

told himself, OK, mom has always

17:00

been there for me. So now

17:03

it's my turn. It

17:05

seems like there was a bit of, like, reversal

17:08

of roles happening. Oh, he, he

17:10

became my mummy, essentially.

17:15

After the break, love,

17:17

sacrifice, and a 20-foot

17:19

avocado dream. When

17:35

you think about businesses growing their sales

17:37

beyond forecasts, sure, you think about a

17:39

product with demand, a focused brand, and

17:41

influence-driven marketing. But an often

17:43

overlooked secret is the businesses behind the

17:46

business. Making selling and

17:48

for shoppers buying simple. For

17:50

millions of businesses, that business is

17:52

Shopify. Nobody does selling

17:55

better than Shopify, home of the number

17:57

one checkout on the planet and the

17:59

not-so-secret secret. to

42:00

pay for the additional apartment. It's

42:03

a lot on him because he's working these

42:05

extra jobs and he's going to have time

42:07

for his relationship and I understand that. So

42:11

Rebecca, it sounds like you're spending a lot of time with

42:14

Sean Pierre still visiting his apartment. Yes.

42:17

How is he spending your time these days? Well,

42:19

in the past few months, I

42:22

volunteered tutored at New York

42:24

schools teaching children how to read.

42:27

How do I read? And mostly because like with the move,

42:29

I think you'd agree

42:31

with this mom, but you feel like you lost a

42:34

sense of community. Oh, I did. Living in

42:36

the apartment with them and all the neighbors

42:38

would stop by and I had the garden

42:40

on the front and every whatever

42:42

holiday, whether it's St. Patrick's Day or

42:44

Easter was all decorated out and we

42:47

had lots of people there looking and

42:49

knowing and knowing. Yeah. I

42:51

met so many nice people and I kept busy, but

42:54

here it's very nice. It's very clean.

42:56

It's very new. And I don't know

42:58

anybody, you know, really. And

43:01

I remember Rebecca, last time we talked, you mentioned

43:03

how, I mean, this was a while ago now,

43:06

but you tied so much of your identity and

43:08

your sense of self-worth to your work. And

43:11

I imagine that's evolved. How are

43:13

you feeling these days? Well, I

43:15

did. I let my work to

43:17

find me. I mean, that that's

43:19

exactly it. Now I just, I'm

43:22

getting to know me as a person rather than

43:24

me that works for somebody. And

43:27

exploring what I like to do. I don't

43:29

have to be up all night. I don't

43:31

have to work seven days. I don't have

43:33

to do anything. I'm my own boss now,

43:36

essentially. My mom

43:38

always says though, like she's 83. Nobody's

43:42

going to tell her to work today or

43:44

to not work today or to the, she is,

43:46

she wants to lay

43:48

down all day. She's going to lay down all

43:50

day. Exactly. I

43:53

appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

43:57

Uh, Sean Pierre, I'm curious how. this

44:00

experience has impacted the way that you think

44:02

about your own retirement? Personally,

44:05

I try not to get too hard

44:07

on myself about what I have and

44:09

what my future might potentially look like,

44:12

how setback I am. How much do

44:14

you currently have saved for retirement? I

44:17

have zero dollars saved for retirement. Yeah.

44:21

And there

44:23

are days that I feel setback

44:25

and I can sit in it and

44:27

think about how setback I am by

44:29

family obligations, personal obligations, et cetera. And

44:32

then there are days that I'm like, you know what?

44:35

I'm going to be just fine. You know,

44:37

I'm 40 now. I have another 20 years

44:39

to figure this out and really making slow

44:42

steps to try and do that. Right. Like

44:44

I just had a conversation with my accountant

44:46

around 401k and because

44:48

I run my own businesses, it's like

44:51

really, it's all on me to kind

44:53

of figure that out. Just recognizing how

44:55

involved I need to be in my

44:57

own destiny has been an

44:59

awakening for me. So trying to do

45:01

that. But at the same

45:03

time, there's money going out the door

45:05

every day, you know, whether it's for

45:07

my own stuff or for my mom

45:09

or for some just random general happening.

45:13

So trying to find grace. Well,

45:17

fortunately or unfortunately, before you retire, I'll

45:19

be long gone. So you won't have

45:21

me to pay for that's wrong. That's

45:23

wrong. Good thing. Look at

45:26

the positive. Yeah, I guess so.

45:28

Um, yeah, it's, it's

45:30

not easy, but I mean, honestly, Rima, it's

45:32

like, I think

45:34

about how poorly

45:36

most people are doing

45:38

in my generation that

45:41

I'm not actually that behind. Yeah. Um,

45:44

and we're all a little bit, we're

45:46

all kind of struggling out here. Not

45:48

ready. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard.

45:51

Um, especially when you're living in a

45:53

city like New York and yeah.

45:55

And people have said like, why don't you leave?

45:58

Like just leave. Why are you there? how

50:00

to avoid scams, and why you

50:02

need a savings account. Plus,

50:05

we explore the brain science behind

50:07

FOMO and what you can do

50:09

to make smarter money decisions. Listen

50:12

to Financially Inclined wherever you get

50:14

your podcasts.