0:16

Hello and thank you for tuning in to no Race Like Home

0:18

. I'm your host , Justin . What's up

0:21

guys ? It's Zane and we are here

0:23

to connect with dads

0:25

like any other day .

0:27

Man , it's the new year we haven't . This is our first

0:29

recording of 2024 . It is , I didn't even

0:31

think about that . Yeah , it's our first recording .

0:33

We're all rolling into 2024 . And

0:36

you know , I

0:39

actually personally am very

0:41

excited about 2024 . I

0:44

did my first vision board for

0:46

the first time ever .

0:48

Yeah .

0:49

In the past I just think they're like super silly and

0:52

I didn't really think nothing of them . But the more I read

0:54

about them and do

0:57

my research on it and hear other successful

1:00

people speak about them , I was like you know what ? I'll just give

1:02

it a shot , try it out .

1:03

My mom . She always tells me whatever you

1:05

want , write it down .

1:07

Yeah , and the word talks about that too .

1:10

Yeah , and I've never actually done it . She's told

1:12

me and it's always just been like okay yeah

1:14

sure I'll write it down .

1:15

I know what I want to do .

1:17

But this year I decided to actually sit

1:19

down and write it down and

1:22

see what happens . Man , I set definitely

1:24

smaller goals for

1:26

the months and stuff like that . And then I

1:28

set bigger goals for later on down the line

1:30

and then astronomical

1:33

goals that I'm just hoping to have by

1:35

the end of the time I die .

1:36

No , I get that . I actually sat down Monday

1:40

morning , I think . Okay

1:42

, Monday afternoon I actually wrote down all

1:45

my goals for 2024 and

1:47

I even put deadlines

1:49

on them to kind of

1:51

make myself have more urgency and less

1:54

fear , Because sometimes I'm in

1:56

most of the time when people don't do

1:59

something they say they're gonna do is because there's some

2:01

kind of fear based holding them back .

2:03

Yeah , sorry

2:05

, my throat is extra

2:07

froggy today . Yeah

2:11

, man . So it's so funny . As we look

2:14

into 2024 , I have yet to

2:16

put one

2:18

to what's today , the fourth

2:20

or the third .

2:21

I've yet to put 2024 on it .

2:23

I put 2023 every time .

2:25

I had to do that today and I had to fix it

2:27

.

2:27

Yeah , it's gonna take me at least a couple

2:29

of weeks before I start putting 2024 down

2:31

.

2:32

Yeah , it usually does , but I know 2024

2:34

is gonna be a great year for the podcast . We

2:37

got lots of things in the works . We're just working on our website

2:39

and the community and be able to bring more dads

2:43

or husbands or future husbands and dads together

2:46

as you kind of like look back on this 2023

2:49

year .

2:50

That happened . The calendar's finally

2:52

closed . What's one of the things that you've looked back

2:55

at and you're like , man , yeah , that's an accomplishment .

2:57

Oh , honestly , my

3:00

biggest accomplishment , which is I

3:04

got my contractor's license , which that was a huge

3:06

deal for my future and everything , but

3:08

my biggest personal goal was , honestly

3:10

, like the last two months , I've been really pushing

3:13

content out .

3:14

Yeah .

3:15

And stepping out of my comfort zone , because I hate shooting

3:17

videos by myself . Like doing the

3:19

podcast and talking to the camera like this is easy

3:21

for me , but making myself

3:24

and stretching myself to where I'm doing content

3:26

alone is tough , and I've

3:29

finally stepped out of my comfort zone and

3:33

I'm actually like have

3:35

like a small bit of pride over it now .

3:37

Yeah . I'm proud of myself , yeah every

3:40

time I know it's small in most people , but to me like that's

3:42

my biggest . Every time we end up

3:44

recording , he's like hey , man , we got to

3:46

set this up , or hey , we got to set this up

3:48

now . And I'm like okay , yeah , sure , whatever , let's

3:51

get it working on .

3:52

So I've actually been making a point to record every night

3:54

, even if it sucks , just to practice .

3:57

Yeah , but it's probably my biggest

3:59

. This past year for me has been

4:01

a lot about change . Yeah

4:04

, With me

4:06

working in a different company , now switching

4:08

over . Got engaged

4:11

this year . This is our . 2023

4:14

was our engagement year .

4:15

That's right , I had a kid too . I

4:17

can't forget about that . Yeah , you did have

4:19

a kid .

4:19

My wife was shooting . I had a kid , yeah

4:22

. So I had gotten engaged , switched

4:24

jobs and then after

4:26

that , now this next year , this

4:28

is kind of the blossoming year . I

4:30

feel like I was kind of building my cocoon as a

4:33

caterpillar and stuff like that , just

4:35

starting to build . And then 2024 , this

4:37

is the year that I have a lot of expectations

4:39

for me , building

4:42

up for myself and then blossoming into

4:44

that relationship that I've been in for

4:46

quite some time but finally being able

4:48

to see it through .

4:50

You also had a commercial made . I

4:52

did have a commercial made , each time commercial .

4:53

Yeah , it was funny . I got text messages

4:56

from it . They were like , hey , you going to Hollywood now

4:58

or what . So

5:00

, yeah , now I got a commercial made and it's

5:02

definitely been a year , a changing

5:04

, a big change of year , change of pace

5:07

. Try to take it to that

5:09

next level and I'm excited to see what 2024

5:11

brings me .

5:12

No , I think it's going to be a great year and

5:14

I think sky's the limit

5:17

for both

5:19

of us and all dads out there trying to make

5:21

a difference . Yeah .

5:22

Her husbands . So yeah , no , absolutely

5:24

.

5:25

So today actually , I had a poll

5:27

on Instagram last night . I

5:29

was kind of just messing around and seeing what

5:31

different types of

5:33

parenting

5:36

I guess not

5:38

parenting

5:40

types , but really like what would

5:44

a parent rather have ? Like a give or take

5:46

kind of thing . Okay , so the first one

5:48

I had was there's only three of

5:50

them , three or four , it

5:53

said . Would you rather deal ? So

5:56

this is going to be kind of hard for you , so

5:58

this is more like a future dad thing . Okay , so

6:01

would you rather deal with a toddler tantrum or

6:05

have a noisy or toddler

6:07

tantrum or deal with

6:09

teenage moods ?

6:12

I can't . I rather deal with the mood

6:14

, with the teenage moods . Reason

6:18

why I rather deal with the teenage moods me personally

6:20

at this time in my life crying

6:23

babies not a big fan of I

6:27

struggle , that's one of my biggest struggles and I've talked

6:29

to Kaylee about that , because I cannot handle

6:31

kids like constantly crying

6:33

.

6:34

You know , that means the Lord's gonna give you a crying baby .

6:36

Probably , and I've been asking

6:39

him for patience and that's when he's gonna

6:41

stick it to me , when he gives me that crying

6:43

baby Cause right now having

6:45

a I'd rather choose moody teenager

6:47

any day of the week .

6:49

So the fans

6:53

out there voted 65%

6:56

for toddler tantrum Are you

6:58

serious ? 35% for teenage

7:00

moods , and I have to say I agree with them

7:02

. I have a preteen and I would

7:04

much rather deal with jet crying or Oakley

7:07

crying than deal with Kinsey .

7:09

Yeah , but if she's just in a mood , she just

7:11

goes to her room .

7:13

Yeah but it's moody and they're

7:15

up and down and they're bored or

7:17

they're it's . I'm done with it . I'd

7:20

much rather have a crying baby , but I also

7:22

have a lot more patience than most people . So

7:25

I deal with it differently . Yeah

7:28

, yeah , let's see what my , like Cambry

7:30

, would much rather deal with Kinsey's moods

7:32

.

7:33

Yeah , so it's just

7:35

a blood thing , it's a patience thing yeah

7:37

y'all , your family doesn't have much patience .

7:39

I don't think anyone in your family is like slowly act

7:41

. I'm for the

7:43

people I've met .

7:44

I'm pretty slow to act on certain things , but

7:47

when it comes I want stuff done

7:49

pretty quick . I'm an

7:51

impatient person on most things .

7:54

Next one would you rather have a messy house

7:56

or have a noisy house ? This one kind

7:58

of shocked me . The answers on this one .

8:01

I'd rather have a noisy house . I

8:04

grew up with a bigger family , that's sort

8:06

of I hate noise . To

8:09

me it's the laughter's and that's when the memories

8:12

are created . If you don't have a loud , if

8:14

you don't have a loud house , there's no memories

8:16

being created . There's people kind of

8:18

setting up on

8:20

the side . They're in their rooms . When our

8:22

house got quiet and both of my sisters got

8:25

into their like teenage phase and I

8:27

was still a little bit younger than them , I

8:29

was by myself . Versus the house that we lived

8:32

in in Meadow Dell when we were all young . We

8:34

had friends coming over all the time that just lived in the neighborhood

8:36

. I'm much rather a noisy house , A

8:38

noisy house is a noisy house .

8:40

58% of the people agreed with you .

8:42

Yeah , it's the way to go .

8:43

I voted to have a messy house .

8:46

You ain't having a messy house with who you're married to . I know

8:48

, but it doesn't bother me .

8:51

I don't like a messy house , but I'd much rather have

8:53

a messy house than what you hear in the background

8:55

24-7 . If those

8:57

who can hear Jett's screaming or

8:59

not screaming , he's running around playing

9:02

with his sister , but he's loud .

9:04

Is it really ? If you have a noisy house

9:07

, though to me you're gonna have a little bit of a messy

9:09

house- oh , 100% , mine's both

9:11

, until

9:13

we get our new house .

9:14

yeah , we don't have any room , so toys everywhere

9:17

and kids screaming and having fun , which

9:21

I like . A noisy house because it means I'm being

9:23

a father . But I'd much rather my house be messy

9:26

than just constant noise . But

9:28

I'm also a quiet person , so I

9:31

need to be .

9:33

Yeah , no , I feel that With me it's more

9:35

communicating . I'm more of a reserved

9:37

person when you get me out and

9:39

public and stuff like that , just because I

9:41

talk all the time to people and so

9:43

when I'm out doing stuff

9:45

it's more . I don't wanna make it feel like work . My

9:48

working is talking to people . That's what I do for

9:50

a living . I don't make people laugh

9:52

, but I talk to people all the time

9:54

. So I'm more reserved

9:56

, but I like watching it

9:59

happen .

10:00

And then the next one , which , yeah

10:02

, we got two more . Would you rather have

10:04

one hour of extra sleep ? I already know the

10:06

answer for you on this one One hour

10:08

extra kid-free time .

10:10

Yeah , for me it's definitely sleep . It

10:14

springs forward and the clock starts

10:16

getting faster . That first week's tough . It

10:19

throws me off . Yeah , sleep for sure .

10:22

This one was a 50-50 split . I'd

10:24

much rather have one hour extra of kid-free

10:26

time . One hour extra sleep

10:28

, you just wake up earlier . I have been

10:30

. I have that

10:33

. Or just like Jack goes about

10:36

eight and Kenji's

10:38

at nine , but she really from eight to nine she's

10:40

by herself , like getting ready for bed .

10:42

Yeah .

10:43

If I could get them to go about at seven , it'd

10:45

probably be a game changer . I wouldn't

10:47

obviously not do that because I love spending time

10:50

with them , but I would get a lot more done .

10:52

Okay .

10:53

Because , like from eight to 10 , it's like crunch

10:56

time to get stuff done .

10:58

Yeah , see , I haven't hit that yet . I

11:00

saw this study and it said that when

11:03

you have your first kid , you lose about

11:05

six months of sleep when

11:07

that first kid , when you first start

11:09

having kids . So I'm trying to make sure I can get all

11:11

the sleep I get .

11:12

I know I'm gonna be losing six months at least .

11:15

That's what I wanna do .

11:16

And then last one . I already know your answer on this one too

11:18

. Would you rather do take

11:20

out or cook at home ?

11:24

That's tough . There's

11:30

pros and cons . I have times where I would rather

11:32

go eat out . There's

11:34

times where I'd rather cook in . It depends kind of what I'm cooking

11:36

, but I'll probably end up saying cooking yeah

11:39

, I think I'm cooking at the house .

11:40

So that would cook at home , got 52%

11:43

and take out 48 . I

11:45

voted take out , Did you ? Yeah , me

11:47

and Cam don't like cooking . I can't

11:49

cook what y'all eat today and

11:53

I asked him . I asked his Pasta salad from

11:56

the grocery store .

11:56

Yeah . I was like hey , man , what are we eating ? What'd you

11:58

make for dinner ? He's

12:00

like yeah , I think we've got some pasta salad . And I was

12:03

like All , right , I'll

12:05

eat before .

12:06

We are not a picky home when it comes to food . Here

12:08

at the Robeson household , we just survive

12:11

and conquer .

12:12

Yeah , I know , it's so funny with Jet . Last time I was

12:14

here he didn't want to eat the chicken nuggets , which is

12:16

still . Every kid to me is a chicken

12:19

nugget eating kids it's all kids eat

12:21

Huge chicken , nugget guy . And he wanted those pancakes

12:23

, those Frank Jacks or those Jack

12:25

pancakes . And so I was like Jet , those are protein

12:27

cakes . He started eating them . I just handed

12:30

it to him and he was eating them . He ate eight

12:32

of them .

12:32

He's been a big pancake guy

12:34

lately , like literally lunch

12:37

dinner breakfast pancakes .

12:38

Yeah , see , I've . I'd

12:41

rather eat chicken nuggets and pancakes all day .

12:43

Yeah , I'm not a sweet guy . I like the salty

12:46

.

12:47

What is it about eating out that makes you

12:49

choose that one ? I know you

12:51

said you don't like cooking .

12:52

We don't like cooking and , honestly , drinks taste

12:54

better when you go out .

12:56

I don't know why , probably because they're professional

12:58

bartenders and I don't have to make it myself . Yeah

13:01

, that's like mama's cooking , right ? You follow mama's

13:03

cooking directly to a tea , and

13:06

then it tastes different , just because you had to make it yourself

13:08

, so it doesn't have that same love factor .

13:09

But luckily I drink whiskey straight , so like it's

13:11

not that hard to make , I

13:13

think it's just the atmosphere too , is

13:16

it the ?

13:16

ice . Do you need the proper ice

13:18

, filtered ice for you , maybe , maybe

13:21

.

13:22

I don't know . I definitely know

13:24

that I don't like cooking and I think it's a waste

13:26

of time . Okay , I

13:28

have much better things to do with my life than cook .

13:31

See , that's where I find it wrong . If

13:33

I could go back and be a cook like

13:36

, start from the very beginning and go into culinary

13:38

school .

13:38

It's a good thing you're 21 years old . You can go

13:40

back tomorrow .

13:41

No , I don't , it's like I moved past it

13:44

. I don't have , I'm too far

13:46

behind . I would want to go to culinary

13:48

school in New York and figure out

13:50

how to cook .

13:50

So you want like real , real school . I want to go

13:52

to a culinary YouTube channel .

13:54

Because I'm not that good at cooking . I

13:56

enjoy it , but I'm not that good .

13:59

I think you're pretty good at it .

14:01

Yeah , I mean most people say

14:03

I'm pretty good , but I don't know

14:05

. One of my biggest joys is sitting

14:07

down after you cook and people

14:10

are eating it and they're like dude , this is good yeah

14:13

.

14:13

Yeah , I've mentioned that before in maybe the first

14:15

episode .

14:16

One of the funny stories since that episode has happened

14:18

. I went to a bachelor party and

14:20

I did not pay

14:22

for the

14:25

place we were staying at . So I said you know what guys I

14:28

didn't pay . You aren't asking me to pay . Let me

14:30

at least buy everyone's steaks and I'll

14:32

cook everyone's steaks . And they were like man , do

14:34

you know how to cook steaks ? And just talk in mess

14:36

. And then by the time they were eating

14:38

it they were like dude , you need to start a restaurant . This

14:40

is the best steak I've ever had .

14:43

That's where it comes in , you do cook

14:45

a grilled , really nice steak , thank

14:47

you .

14:48

You and Hugo .

14:49

Two best cooks I know .

14:52

Hugo , that's the guy that cooked at the ranch right . No

14:55

, that was Anthony .

14:58

So three people ? Okay , you go cook here a lot .

15:00

I've never had one , I've

15:03

never had any of his food , though Maybe not . He's the real deal .

15:08

His dad's professional cook and everything .

15:10

So , oh , dear Lord , yeah , yeah , I'll get some lessons from him

15:12

. He taught me a lot , and then I realized he's just that

15:14

much better .

15:14

So I just asked him , I

15:19

just asked him to come over and do it .

15:20

Oh , my God , he always wants to teach me .

15:22

I'm like Hugo , I don't want to just do what you

15:24

need . Here's everything . I have the grill

15:26

, I have the black top , just

15:29

make me whatever you want .

15:30

Yeah , I've been wanting to do . We're getting off topic

15:32

, but I'll tell this .

15:33

I've been wanting to do you started this one ?

15:35

I know it's it's my fault , my

15:37

dad , just I got my dad a blackstone for Christmas

15:40

so I've been wanting to go over there and do a Hibachi

15:42

. I do it at Kaylee's family's

15:44

house all the time . We'll get

15:46

everything ready and do full Hibachi . So I've been

15:48

wanting to do that like within the next couple of

15:50

weeks .

15:51

Hugo did that here for me and you didn't invite

15:53

me . I was really I'm pretty sure I did .

15:56

No , don't say that Just

15:58

cause we're on air doesn't mean you can lie .

16:00

Just like that time you didn't invite me to what

16:02

was it ? Oh , I remember your fantasy

16:04

football league .

16:07

I did invite you . Yeah

16:09

, you were in it .

16:09

You got second place . I was in the other one .

16:12

Oh , the dynasty . Yeah , you talked about the dynasty

16:14

. Um , yeah

16:17

, you're in enough , dude . You literally just

16:19

told me you're leaving half of them cause you're in like 12

16:21

.

16:21

I am , and honestly , a guy I talked to

16:23

today . I told him I was leaving the league and he , like , completely

16:26

cussed me out .

16:29

I ended up leaving that one that was for no

16:31

money . The redrop Did you see that I just left

16:34

?

16:34

No , I won't . I'm not redoing it , I just

16:36

left . Yeah , I'm

16:39

going to get into our main topic . Zane likes to

16:41

take us on rant sometimes . Usually

16:43

it's me 98%

16:45

of the time .

16:46

I felt like switching it up today .

16:48

Today he's got very passionate about cooking . I'm

16:50

sorry so , but we're going

16:52

to . So we're going to dive right into

16:55

a post I had last week out on

16:57

my Instagram and there was five ways

16:59

to be more present , and I realized I

17:01

got a lot of feedback on it and I figured

17:03

it'd be a good episode to touch

17:06

on and see where it takes us

17:08

. Yeah , so , five

17:10

ways to be more , more present kind of the background

17:13

on it is . I wanted

17:15

to share a couple of ways for

17:17

husbands and or fathers to be more present

17:19

and still be in the workplace . One

17:22

of the biggest myths that I

17:24

see around the workplace right now is people

17:27

think it's like a give or take , where you

17:30

can either be successful in your career

17:32

or you could be a

17:34

present father or husband , and

17:36

I think that's completely wrong and I

17:38

think that everyone's dynamic

17:40

and everyone's , I guess , perception

17:44

of what work life balance is

17:46

depends on what situation they're in

17:48

, and I think that work life balance

17:50

is complete BS as

17:52

far as being there . No

17:55

one's ever going to have that perfect balance , so

17:57

I think , as long as you and your significant other

17:59

know how to balance it and work around , what you

18:02

agree on is what work life

18:04

balance is Whether that's where you work 100

18:06

hours but you're present and

18:08

when you are home , you're in the moment . You're being a good

18:10

father , you're being a good husband , you're taking care of them

18:12

, you're listening to them engaging . Or

18:15

that's whether you work 40 hours and you

18:17

come home and help cook , help do

18:20

things around the house and you go to all

18:22

the games . And I think whether or not

18:24

you

18:26

are home 10 hours a week or you're home

18:28

four hours a week , it doesn't make you a

18:31

better at being a father

18:33

or being present . It's just when you are in the

18:35

moment . You need to be in the

18:37

moment .

18:38

And that's something with mine I've

18:40

always felt like this

18:43

is how I've viewed it with Kaylee and we've talked

18:45

to each other about this . To

18:48

me it's not about so much time as

18:51

much with the father , because at the end of the day , as

18:54

men we have responsibilities to hold

18:56

to our families , to our spouse and

18:59

to our kids , and obviously

19:01

work does kind of take part in

19:04

taking us away from our kids . I know there's

19:06

been multiple times where my dad growing

19:08

up he

19:10

wasn't present during my childhood . He

19:13

was gone for half the year , but I knew he was working

19:16

and he was providing for us , and

19:18

so for me it's not about so

19:20

much on how much time more time

19:22

is better . To me it's about the impact

19:25

and the times that you can make . What do

19:27

you do when you do have those times with him , like

19:29

you were saying , being present and stuff like that

19:31

? But to me , a

19:33

man that's home all day is

19:35

a man that can't provide .

19:38

Yeah , obviously , unless you're working like you know or since common

19:40

these days .

19:41

Yeah , but a man that's always

19:43

at home or it's hard

19:45

to provide for the family , and so , as

19:47

men , we need to realize that when

19:50

we are home , for the few

19:52

times , for the few

19:54

hours that we are , if we do work an out

19:56

of office , out of home job

19:58

, those are the times that

20:00

we need to make the most impact , because

20:02

our kids are going to kids , sons

20:05

and daughters . They look up to their fathers .

20:07

Yeah , and suddenly to

20:09

see his father work . Yeah , absolutely

20:12

yeah , and it's funny

20:14

that you say that about your father because it

20:17

made me think about . So . I

20:19

found out something about my dad that I had no idea about

20:21

growing up and he told me probably

20:24

about a year ago we

20:27

were talking about work and just being home with a family

20:29

and he was like , yeah , whatever

20:31

, I would lay you all down to

20:33

go to bed , I would go back up to the office and

20:36

I had no idea all those years where

20:38

he was building this business . Yeah , I

20:41

guess soon as we go to bed he get dressed

20:43

, go back to office and fall asleep on his desk basically

20:45

every night . Wow , I had zero

20:47

idea . He never told me because obviously there's

20:50

, that's not the burden that kid needs to have . It's

20:52

like all of that , there's no reason for

20:54

me to know that until I'm older . Yeah

20:58

, I had no idea and that was a huge sacrifice and

21:00

I know it took a lot for probably my mother to

21:03

understand what he was doing and building a business and

21:05

there was that season of life where you have to sacrifice

21:07

time sometimes and I think

21:10

it's very important for you to

21:12

communicate that with your wife . Like Cambria

21:14

knows . Right now I'm in a season of life where I'm going to be

21:16

working more than I am and trying

21:19

to build something and give

21:21

us a life that I would know that I

21:24

want my family to have , by

21:26

communicated that with her and I let her know

21:28

those boundaries . And I think that's like the main point

21:30

is you have to let them know

21:33

what your plan is and

21:35

that way you don't ever run into like a roadblock

21:37

.

21:38

Yeah , no , and that kind of brings up our second

21:40

. Our second one

21:42

is teach boundaries with

21:46

not only you know work

21:48

, but also family

21:50

, I mean extended family . Man , it's so tough

21:52

, right , you never want to tell your parents

21:54

know , hey , we can't do this , and

22:00

that's something that's really big

22:02

. That's happened , that started to happen for me

22:04

and Kaylee and 2023 , late

22:06

2023 . We

22:10

were trying to please everyone at the

22:12

same time . Yeah , you can't do that . Yeah , like the holidays

22:14

, man , those are so stressful for us

22:16

. We have to go to like five holidays

22:19

for Thanksgiving and Christmas , yeah

22:21

, and so it's made almost the holidays so unbearable

22:24

.

22:24

I'm a fun .

22:25

No , it's not fun . We're one places

22:27

for just a little bit . Then we have to get out of there and go

22:29

. So teaching boundaries

22:31

With family

22:33

, with the extended family , that's big , because

22:35

that's that's when you need to make sure

22:37

that you and her are on the same

22:39

page and are you are united front and

22:41

. Like

22:44

, for instance , for the past five

22:46

years we've gone to . We went

22:48

to Kaylee's mom's house for New Year's Day

22:50

, done it every year . Go

22:53

out there that we they make black eyed peas

22:55

, they make , you know , all the New Year's Day

22:57

food Mm-hmm . And this was

22:59

the first year that we didn't go .

23:00

And I'm

23:03

thankful that we have parents that

23:06

both understand that boundaries are needing

23:09

to be set and that we're having to make our own

23:11

little traditions and yeah

23:13

on stuff together as a

23:15

couple and no , that's important

23:17

, yeah , and that's actually something me and Cambria

23:20

were focusing more on this year , because we don't

23:22

really have we started

23:24

talking about reflecting on it . We don't have like traditions

23:26

as a family . Yeah just we're not both . We're

23:28

both not very like sentimental people when

23:30

it comes to that , like I'd rather know that

23:32

we

23:35

enjoyed our moments together , but not like

23:37

planned them . So we're trying to be better

23:39

about them , planning Uh

23:41

, traditions and having things that the kids

23:43

can remember as they grow up . So that's very

23:46

important . That's good . You can't

23:48

, uh , kaylee , are starting that at a young age .

23:50

And yeah , also as far as like the boundaries

23:53

go , I mean , I , we were talking this week . I

23:55

did not text anyone back . Yeah

23:57

, I think you sent me

23:59

like seven or eight text that

24:02

I didn't respond to . I

24:04

was completely I didn't

24:06

even See what you posted . As

24:08

far as disconnecting this whole weekend

24:11

, so it started on saturday and

24:13

then all of monday . At the end of the monday I started

24:15

catching back up . I completely just

24:18

disconnected , I didn't talk to anybody .

24:19

Yeah , that's something I wish I could do , yeah

24:22

that's actually something I have on my

24:24

2024 visions Is

24:26

for me and cambria

24:28

to go on like a four day trip or

24:31

three day trip , yeah , and no phones

24:33

. Um , it'd be like probably

24:35

not In a big city

24:38

or anything , but where we just go

24:40

to like maybe like get a cabin or something

24:42

out in the country where all we take

24:44

is like notepads and

24:46

like music and just we

24:49

literally sit out there for like three or four days and

24:51

just spend time with each other right down our

24:53

thoughts , pray fast and

24:55

kind of like just set our visions and goals

24:57

for our family and hear the Lord speak to

24:59

us . And it's actually something

25:01

I really want to do . I'm passionate about it's like disconnect

25:04

from it because , as I hear have

25:06

here on , step two is I put , I put tech

25:08

boundaries and I realized

25:10

that I need to establish like specific times when

25:13

I'm home where I don't need to be on my phone . Um , one of those

25:15

times is dinner , when I get home from work . Yeah

25:17

, if someone calls me while I'm eating , I typically

25:19

don't answer Um , that's my goal . Sometimes

25:22

it is urgent , but I try to stay

25:24

off my phone during dinner time and then I try to stay

25:26

off my phone and make it a point when

25:28

I Lay jet down , because

25:30

every night that's like mine in his time , I like rock

25:32

him and pray with him and we sing Jesus loves

25:34

me . So that's one of my other Boundaries

25:38

is tech boundaries . Make sure when I

25:40

am in the moment , that I'm present and not just staring

25:42

at my phone .

25:43

Yeah , I mean I'll catch myself . When

25:46

I first started with a new company

25:48

, I would catch myself at like One

25:51

o'clock in the morning . I would just wake up and

25:53

be like holy crap , did I check this email ?

25:54

Yeah , did I send this email , tons of emails and

25:57

or oh , did I schedule

25:59

?

25:59

Did I get this scheduled with With

26:02

my production team , like that's what I would

26:04

constantly do , and so , like

26:07

I think I told you earlier , I'm

26:09

nine o'clock around nine o'clock , my phone's

26:11

put away . Yeah , I'll do anything with it

26:13

now . Uh , me and Caleb will

26:15

play like little games on our phone with each other . Yeah

26:17

but I've completely , I

26:19

have to push that away because it was on way it was

26:21

controlling me . Yeah

26:24

, um , to where ? That's good

26:26

, I could be out anywhere , get a phone call

26:28

. I'm like , hey , I gotta pick this up and answer this .

26:30

Yeah , and , and I typically in

26:32

the past I was like that , but

26:34

right now , like I was saying , I'm in a different season

26:36

to where I , honestly , I'm working as

26:39

soon as I wake up and then , like

26:41

last night , I worked like midnight . Yeah then

26:44

I was up to like one and two am Working , but

26:46

it's just a season . I mean , I'm building an e-commerce website

26:49

, I'm trying to build our brand and our podcast

26:51

and A lots of

26:53

things that in the background that I'm working on also

26:55

as far as , like my personal Uh

26:58

life and everything . So

27:01

I've been reading more bunch of stuff

27:03

going on . But yeah , I definitely

27:05

agree with that is , if you can find a time in your

27:07

day where you just don't have your cell phone , definitely

27:10

a beneficial , uh beneficiary

27:13

Thing to have in your life

27:15

. But , like I said , as long as you

27:17

communicate that there's sniffing another . Like hey , this

27:19

next year is going to be a grind that's basically

27:21

what I told Cambria like hey , this 2024

27:24

it's gonna

27:26

be busy , it's gonna be a grind . By , I promise

27:28

you , by 2025 , it's gonna be something that we're gonna

27:30

be grow out . Glad we did . Yeah

27:32

it's just this type of season I'm in . I

27:35

just want the best for everything .

27:37

So yeah , no , absolutely . And

27:39

then you know you've kind of already mentioned this

27:41

one too , the . The third part of

27:43

it is active listening . So

27:45

I can tell cambria is doing her part as

27:48

far as active . She's making sure that she's

27:50

listening during the conversation . You've kind

27:52

of told her this because We've

27:54

we've been recording a lot

27:56

more and all that , and so she's been great

27:58

with it . She , she , uh , yeah , cambria , she always

28:01

says hi to me when I come in and then gives

28:03

me hug and then offers me something um

28:05

no , she's been my rock as far

28:07

as all this , um Like

28:09

all my content , I basically I

28:13

make it all on sunday .

28:15

Okay because I , I don't want to , I

28:17

don't do any of this on my business

28:20

time , like it's not . That's not fair to

28:22

them . So basically every saturday

28:24

, sunday , I built tons of content

28:26

, as you can see on the dry erase

28:28

board behind me . I built it

28:30

all out and then she , she

28:32

helps me build it and I build posts for all

28:35

week and then I schedule them and they just instantly

28:37

get posted on instagram .

28:39

Oh , so you're gonna have to post them . They post automatic for you

28:41

. Oh , that's nice .

28:42

Yeah , so that's why you see , like today I had two posts

28:44

in middle of work and I know a lot of people are probably

28:46

like , oh , he just posted on company

28:48

time . Yeah , no , I know it's all scheduled

28:51

out . I schedule out the whole week and

28:53

I actually scheduled out the whole year of content

28:55

. I just haven't built it .

28:57

So I want to ask you this , just to

28:59

kind of jump real quick Uh , our

29:02

, our post is active listening , and

29:04

practice active listening during conversations

29:06

with your children and your wife . Is

29:09

there different types ? Do

29:12

you have to listen a different way from

29:14

your children , from your wife ?

29:16

Oh , 100% With

29:19

my children . I

29:21

have to listen to them and

29:23

then I also have to reflect on it and

29:25

make sure that what I heard

29:27

is the right thing at

29:29

the moment or the right mindset

29:32

at the moment . With Cambria

29:34

I've learned that active listening is me listening

29:36

and actually shutting up . I don't

29:38

need to fix the issue , I don't need to fix the problem , I

29:41

just need a supporter . But I've

29:43

learned as a father that

29:45

I need to listen , I need to

29:47

dissect it and figure out why

29:50

they said that or what made them feel

29:52

that way , and then talk about

29:54

it with them and see , hey , no

29:56

, that probably shouldn't come out your mouth . Don't

29:58

say you can't do that , like can'ts

30:00

not in your vocabulary , say I

30:03

struggled or I didn't do

30:05

it . So you're always

30:07

looking for those moments to coach them and

30:09

you want to make sure that you don't miss it , because you

30:12

never know that one moment where you're not

30:14

actively listening or you're looking at your phone

30:16

it could change

30:18

their whole mindset for their life . If they

30:20

say something , you just kind of brush it off and

30:24

really there's a deeper issue to it . But

30:26

with Cambria my active listening is just shutting

30:28

up , not having an answer .

30:30

Yeah , so from what I kind of

30:32

got from that , it's more as far as a children

30:34

. When you're actively listening

30:37

to your children you're

30:40

almost trying to be so

30:43

much more like I know you're a parent , but like

30:45

a coach , right , yeah , you're

30:48

trying to coach them into how they should

30:50

think and how you want them

30:52

to think and as far as like

30:54

their mindset and stuff like that . And as far

30:56

as your wife , she came with that

30:58

mindset already when y'all got into the marriage

31:00

. So you just need to reinforce

31:03

because you loved her for who she was . And

31:06

so now you're just trying to reinforce and just

31:08

know that , hey , I'm here for you .

31:10

Yeah , and one thing I've learned is actually

31:12

that has caused less conflict

31:15

in our marriage is when I do that active listening

31:17

, the more I sit back and let her

31:19

just and I'm not perfect

31:22

at this , she would laugh right now if she heard me

31:24

like I do this great , this is

31:26

just something . I have great self-awareness , I will

31:28

say that's one of my best traits , as I

31:30

know when I screw up . But , yeah , she

31:34

, I've learned , the more I sit back

31:37

and let her kind

31:39

of vomit her

31:41

feelings or what's on her mind or her fears

31:43

or her worries , she

31:45

ends up having more peace in the future

31:47

instead of and she figures

31:50

out her own or leans

31:52

on the Lord more , which is who is way

31:54

better than me instead

31:56

of getting more stressed out over the situation

31:58

and just causes more conflict in the back end . But

32:01

the more I let her just get it out , reflect

32:03

on it and kind of

32:05

figure it all out on her own , no matter what

32:07

the time is maybe a month , four

32:09

months . I've learned that creates a lot

32:11

more peace on her and then there

32:13

ever has been . I remember

32:16

there was one moment where she was just

32:18

constantly stressed

32:20

out going to church because the kids

32:22

were so young . Our church

32:25

service was long and so

32:27

I eventually

32:29

just put my pride to the side . We

32:32

ended up going to another church that was only an hour

32:34

service For me . That

32:37

was like me growing

32:39

up . That was not church . I'm

32:41

giving the Lord an hour a week . That's just not

32:43

. It connected me . But

32:46

I put my pride aside and

32:48

we started going to this church . Next

32:50

thing you know , four months goes by . She

32:52

wants to go back to her old church and

32:55

it's like the Lord had this thing , like

32:57

, hey , just let me work this out . And now

32:59

we're . Now

33:01

. We both love going to church . It's not stressful

33:04

. We literally leave church

33:06

fighting because , oh , it's

33:08

bottle time or it's nap time

33:10

and church is going too long because the babies

33:12

are screaming they're hungry . I get it . I didn't

33:14

have to deal with it . She did .

33:16

Yeah .

33:17

But the day I stepped back and just listened

33:19

to her and didn't try to fix the issue , I

33:22

said you know what we're going to do , what you want to do , we'll go to

33:24

this church , ended up being right back where

33:26

we wanted to be with a lot more peace .

33:27

I wouldn't necessarily say that church that's

33:29

one hour isn't a church .

33:31

No , but that was my , that was my

33:33

confliction , because I grew up going to

33:35

a church for three hours every

33:37

Sunday , and so it just felt like , oh , I'm

33:39

stealing two hours from the Lord . Yeah , I felt

33:42

like I was leaving that church because I , deep

33:45

down , this was not the issue . It

33:48

was more of a confliction that a root that

33:50

I had to figure out . But I felt like

33:52

I was stealing time from the Lord when I go

33:54

oh , I'm going to this church because it's shorter you

33:56

know what I mean by that .

33:57

Yeah , no , I get it and with

33:59

mine what I can

34:01

say for other people , that other

34:04

relationships that want to get in a church and maybe

34:06

one's struggling with the other . It's

34:08

about finding somewhere where that you both

34:11

feel like you can grow Exactly

34:13

and that can take changes . You

34:15

know , that could take you from going from one church

34:17

to another , but find that medium

34:19

to where you both feel like you can get in , involved

34:22

, grow not

34:24

only spiritually but also together

34:26

, and you'll feel like you're growing with

34:29

that . And I actually had a talk

34:31

with one of my buddies . We were driving

34:33

I was driving home at about an hour and a half

34:35

drive . He had a two hour drive , so

34:37

we just sat there and talked and

34:40

that was something that he kind of

34:42

confided

34:44

he told me . He said you know , man growing up

34:47

, we did it all the time . We grew up in church together

34:49

. I've known him for a long

34:51

time and he recently just

34:53

got married , this past year . So that was super

34:55

exciting for him and he

34:57

was like man I want my kids to believe

35:00

in the . Lord , but the one

35:02

, the one that he got with they aren't

35:04

really religious and there's nothing

35:06

. I mean nothing wrong

35:08

with that , but I told him at the end of

35:10

the day , I was like dude you're the . You're

35:12

gonna be the man of that of that household

35:14

. I know she's the ruler of the

35:17

house , but at the end of the day , it's your

35:19

job to lead them into those . And

35:21

as far as active listening , that's

35:24

something that both . Both of them have

35:26

to come in and actively listen

35:28

to that . And I told him , you know , tell her how you feel

35:30

. There's a statistic to where you

35:33

know , when kids come to Christ and

35:35

the whole

35:38

family doesn't about

35:41

15% of the time the whole

35:43

family comes to Christ . When

35:45

a woman comes to Christ , about

35:48

30% of the time the whole family comes

35:50

to Christ and then when a man comes to Christ

35:52

, 65 , right , it's like 60 , 70%

35:55

of the whole family comes to . Christ and I said

35:57

man , you just have to take that step and

35:59

just have honest conversation with their man . It's not something

36:01

that you're gonna have to peddle down later

36:05

on down the road , it's something that you're you have to

36:07

look at now . I mean , you are together , you are married

36:09

. Yeah , it's too late . Yeah , y'all two became

36:11

one already . Like this is something that either

36:13

have the conversation and choose

36:16

what y'all want to do as

36:18

a couple , and so

36:20

that's why I

36:22

would always preach to do

36:24

counseling . I mean , Kay

36:26

, they're about to start . I've been saying it the past

36:29

couple weeks and I'm excited to

36:31

do it , to really get into the nitty gritty , yeah

36:33

just get ready for some

36:36

bumps .

36:37

It causes more conflict at first than it helps

36:39

, but it helps break down everything

36:41

. Yeah . Well , it makes you definitely look

36:44

in the mirror because you'll

36:46

say something and your counselor basically tells you no , you're

36:48

wrong , and you can't

36:50

mark it .

36:51

Your counselor just tells you no , you're wrong .

36:53

Well , he'll just basically say no , cambria is right

36:55

in this situation . You need to

36:58

listen to her how she feels it

37:01

makes us act completely opposite of how we want to

37:03

act . When there's conflict , they don't

37:05

let you get solutions . It's

37:08

just like a letter

37:10

get off her chest or let you get off her chest

37:12

, they coach on it and as soon as you try

37:14

to give your reason why

37:16

, it's like no , if

37:19

you told you , this is how she feels , this

37:21

is how it needs to be done .

37:24

OK , whatever .

37:26

Yeah , so it causes a little bit of chaos

37:28

at first , but it's definitely one of the best things me and Cambria

37:31

did . I recommend it to all people

37:33

getting married .

37:34

Wow .

37:35

Sure .

37:36

The fourth one that we have is mindful

37:38

work transitions We've

37:42

kind of mentioned , we've kind of stepped in on

37:44

this already .

37:45

Yeah , and I want

37:47

to kind of dive in deeper into this and

37:49

kind of give you some tools on

37:51

what you can do to make these

37:53

mindful work transitions . So , for example

37:55

, whenever

37:58

I drive the work , I actually

38:00

, if I don't listen

38:02

, if I've already prayed and done my morning

38:04

stuff at home , I'll actually listen to a workbook

38:08

or a podcast about business

38:10

or marketing or anything I can

38:12

use in the real world . I'm in the business

38:15

industry so

38:17

I'm making that transition . My mind is

38:19

transitioning , knowing , hey , this is what you need to get

38:21

prepared for . Or I'll listen to a

38:23

15 minute podcast

38:26

about productive

38:28

work days . I'm getting ready for my work

38:30

day . I'm getting my mind ready . But

38:32

when I get home or when I'm on my way home , I actually

38:34

turn on parenting or marriage

38:37

podcasts or books . So

38:39

I'm planting my seed in my mind as

38:42

, hey , I'm about to be home , now I'm putting

38:44

my dad or husband hat on and I'm getting

38:46

my mind ready for that . And

38:48

I've learned that as

38:50

I started doing that , it actually made my days

38:52

easier because my mind was already getting

38:54

prepared before my body was . So

38:57

when I get home , I'm hearing those things

38:59

like , hey , this is how you treat your wife , this is how to

39:01

treat your kids . This is how you be an

39:03

active parent , and I've

39:05

learned that it's actually been feeding my spirit

39:07

and my mind and getting me

39:09

ready to take on those tasks

39:11

.

39:12

See with me , I don't

39:14

do any of that , I've always just done that . Hey

39:17

, give me 30 minutes .

39:18

Yeah , I do that too .

39:19

I haven't tried that . Listen

39:21

, did you say that ? It sounds actually like a pretty good idea

39:24

just to give it a shot ? But

39:26

I have to me it's a

39:28

walk into the house . I think she kind of knows too

39:31

. We've had this conversation . I just say , hey

39:33

, give me 30 minutes . I

39:36

want to just decompress , I

39:38

want to just lay down , not do anything

39:41

. I was just up on a two-story

39:43

house , almost fell off the roof . Just

39:45

give me a minute and then from

39:48

there , after that 30 minutes , I'm pretty

39:50

zoned in . I'm not at

39:52

that point yet to where I have to try to switch

39:54

quicker with the kids . Don't

39:56

have any much kids to

39:59

take care of or try to entertain

40:01

when I get home , so

40:03

I'm sure that's definitely going to have to change

40:06

. Maybe my 30 minutes

40:08

on the 30 minute drive home .

40:09

Yeah , yeah . No , I do that

40:11

too . I just learned that whenever

40:13

I get my mind mentally

40:15

, it's just like getting ready for a sports game

40:18

. When you're growing up , you sit there

40:20

and meditate for 30 minutes and visualize what

40:23

you're going to do or go over the playbook . It's the same thing

40:25

. I'm listening to a podcast

40:27

. It's my playbook to get ready for my

40:29

game at home and it's just mentally

40:31

preparing me and I pick up some

40:33

nuggets and I'll reflect and talk about

40:36

it .

40:37

Is it weird ? So very

40:39

rarely . The only time I ever listen

40:41

to music in

40:44

my vehicle is if Kaylee's in the car with me

40:46

, and it's rarely . Even when she's in the car with me , I'm like , hey

40:48

, let's talk . Hey , let's just know

40:50

music , let's just ride .

40:52

I wouldn't say it's weird . I've

40:54

slowly begun doing that more

40:56

I'm . Obviously I love music . If

40:58

I'm around the house by myself , music's

41:01

always on my son's the same way

41:03

now . But

41:05

I will say , as I've gotten older , I like my piece in

41:07

quiet or I like my meaningful

41:09

conversations with Cambry and the kids in

41:12

the car because I get to spend time with them . But

41:14

I also love playing my music and me and Jett

41:16

blasting sold out

41:19

by Hardin . That's

41:22

funny but it's not weird . I get it .

41:24

OK .

41:24

It's your time to . It's your

41:27

one time you're stuck together

41:29

like as

41:31

we'll talk .

41:32

Yeah , no , absolutely , and that's what

41:34

we try to do during

41:37

those car rides , because , I

41:40

mean , to me it's more about mindful

41:43

work , transitions not only from the

41:45

workplace to home , but also the

41:47

home place . When y'all go somewhere , making

41:50

sure that you're going to be able to be up for it

41:53

. It's like a game , and anytime I

41:55

go to like my in-laws' house or

41:57

even my family's house , it's

41:59

a mindset with whatever you're trying

42:01

to prepare on next , when

42:04

you go to those , when you go to their house , you need

42:06

to make sure that you're ready . Like when I come here

42:08

to get ready for the podcast , I

42:11

listen just to other podcasts just to see how people are talking

42:13

, so ways that I can get better

42:15

on the podcast and just continue talking .

42:18

Yeah , I get that . I even I listen to our podcast

42:20

and it's not a healthy trait .

42:23

Yeah , because you're like dang , I should have done this

42:25

I should have done this .

42:26

I criticized myself so much I

42:28

know I need to listen to it so we can make

42:31

it better .

42:31

The first one . We both said um so

42:34

much . I still say um a little

42:36

bit and it kind of frustrates me .

42:38

But getting away from the um yeah , it takes

42:40

a lot and kind of like you said , as

42:43

I've gotten older and grown I'm still

42:46

not perfect I

42:48

realize that anything

42:50

I do I need to prepare

42:53

for I don't care if it's going

42:55

to Kenzie's basketball game . The

42:59

more you're busy in life and the more you

43:01

get exhausted with just life itself

43:03

. I've learned that preparing

43:05

for each situation and just being

43:08

mindful of it , even if it's a five minute , like hey

43:10

, while I'm at the game don't pick up

43:12

your phone , like watch her , like

43:14

just prepare in your mind , mentally on , like things

43:17

that you know that you're going to naturally

43:20

fail that . And it's

43:22

taught me a lot just to self reflect on everything

43:24

I do in life . Like

43:27

I just said , oh , thank you , I'm

43:31

just doing good , not saying

43:33

it Not into my mind . But no

43:35

, just like going to your family Christmas

43:38

, like I try to make it a point where I talk

43:40

to people , I'm not on my phone , I'm

43:42

not looking at emails , and it's just . You

43:45

have to always , constantly get

43:47

your mind right for anything you do in life , and

43:50

I think that's a huge trait for anyone

43:52

who wants to be successful , no matter what

43:54

you have to mentally prepare , even

43:56

if it's the small things , and I think that's what

43:58

makes great athletes great . I don't

44:01

know if I've told you that story about Tom Brady .

44:04

Which one ?

44:04

When he was playing golf last year with Josh Allen

44:07

, my Homes and I don't

44:09

know who else . You know the quarterback challenge

44:11

they do

44:13

.

44:14

I think it was Tom Brady

44:16

and Steph Curry , maybe

44:19

it was Homes and Josh Allen .

44:21

I know that it was in Vegas , but

44:23

anyways , this is how I know

44:26

that true champion

44:28

, no matter it's in the business on

44:31

the field , their mindset

44:34

is different . So , Tom Brady , actually

44:36

this is

44:38

just crazy . I even talked about a

44:40

charity golf game tournament

44:43

has nothing to do with anything

44:45

. Winning wise , winning money , nothing

44:48

. He went out so the night before my

44:50

Homes and all the went out like you know , drink

44:53

, have a good time , hang out . That

44:55

man actually went out to every all

44:57

18 holes with a bucket

44:59

of golf balls enrolled on the greens

45:02

. I

45:04

did not know that I took notes on

45:06

. H Green was rolling

45:08

them one by one with his hand . I

45:11

did not know that I took notes on the slopes A charity

45:14

golf tournament .

45:16

Hey , that man don't like to lose . That's what I mean .

45:17

Like . People with that mindset

45:19

don't lose in life . And when

45:21

I heard that for the first time , I was

45:23

like man . What am I doing Like ? If

45:26

he can do that , I can get mentally prepared for

45:28

my job .

45:29

Next time we go golfing guys , he's gonna end up put

45:32

. He's end up going night before rolling on the green

45:34

. See they slow , fast , but is that not

45:36

crazy ? That is insane .

45:37

That's how you're just wired to be a champion

45:40

. Yeah , everybody

45:42

else is out partying and you are rolling

45:45

golf balls with your caddy on the green

45:47

Taking notes . Wow

45:50

.

45:51

No , that I've never heard of that .

45:52

I love studying people like that , like I want

45:55

to know what made them different . Like Kobe , I

45:57

listen to him talk all the time . It's

45:59

just I love seeing their mindset .

46:01

I've probably listened to every single one of podcasts

46:03

that he was ever on Tom Brady

46:05

. He's actually starting to come out on more podcast , which

46:08

has been pretty cool .

46:09

Yeah , but yeah , the last tip

46:11

I have for just being present in the moment

46:14

was number five is create rituals . Something

46:17

that I made a point , like I said , is bedtime

46:19

with jet . Yeah , I make sure that I rock him every

46:21

night . I tuck him in , I pray , I sing

46:24

with him . I take that 15

46:26

, 20 minutes , as hard as it

46:28

is sometimes If

46:30

we're in a rush or if there's like we're

46:32

doing something to do that , I try to make

46:34

it a point when I'm home to do that with

46:36

him . My ritual is Kenzie

46:39

is . It's not really a ritual

46:41

, but anytime I go

46:43

somewhere I always invite her to go with me . Yeah

46:46

, as she's gotten older

46:48

, I get more nose , which is kind

46:50

of sad , but she was

46:52

always like our thing when we first met when I

46:54

first met , cambria first met she

46:56

always got excited to go somewhere with me .

46:58

She doesn't have that Justin socks somewhere .

47:00

No , unfortunately not . But yeah

47:02

, that was kind of our thing is . I just take her like grocery

47:05

store . I still always invite her because

47:07

I want to make it a point .

47:08

Yeah .

47:08

Because I was like she would just light up and she'd be

47:10

in the backseat just smiling and we

47:13

literally would go do nothing . But she was just

47:15

like riding in my truck with me and then

47:17

with Cambria . My ritual is

47:20

, honestly , it's

47:23

more of a all day thing and

47:25

I know most people probably disagree with this

47:27

, but we text all day like we're still dating , always

47:29

have , and I make sure I tell her

47:31

I love her like at least 100 times a day

47:33

. Just reminder I think

47:35

I know that's not , I know that's cliche for most

47:37

marriages .

47:39

Like I know you've said it on the podcast one of the ritual

47:41

, one thing that y'all do consistently

47:43

is y'all's lunch dates every Thursday

47:45

, non-negotiable yeah . I

47:47

think that's . I think that's big . So I

47:50

want to go ahead and give people five

47:52

, five little rituals

47:55

that maybe you and your spouse can start together

47:57

. The first one

47:59

is just , you know , morning check-ins , y'all

48:02

wake up together . Y'all wake up with the kids , share

48:05

your plans for the day , what you have going on

48:07

, making sure that they're good

48:09

, see what their goals are

48:11

for the day , and so y'all can go back later

48:13

that night and see if y'all hit those goals

48:15

or anything like that . And then next

48:19

one we kind of already hit on it weekly dates Doesn't

48:21

have to be big dates . You don't have to go out and

48:23

spend a whole . I know times are tough

48:25

right now and a lot of areas Weekly

48:29

dates could even be just , you know , buying pizza

48:31

and drinking some wine and watching a movie

48:33

when your kids are asleep . Yeah you don't

48:35

have kids , you know just doing a weekly date . And

48:39

then the next thing is you know , if

48:41

you want to go a little bit more extravagant , do

48:43

you know monthly adventures ? Go on a walk

48:45

, yeah . Go to a park

48:48

, go , go . There's national parks all

48:50

over . There's parks that you can go walking on . If you have dogs

48:52

, or even you know small kids

48:54

like that , take your kids on the stroller , take a walk

48:56

them to the park . If you live in

48:59

a neighborhood that's got a whole bunch of sidewalks , once

49:01

a month , just go out there and

49:04

you know , have different things that y'all

49:06

want to talk about during that walk , whether it being

49:08

, you know , frustrations , maybe

49:10

, that you've had throughout those coming

49:12

days , or you know goals that you're like , hey

49:14

, this is the goals that I set for myself this month

49:17

. This is what happened . Hey , I met that goal

49:19

. Hey , I didn't meet that goal . Let's

49:21

see what we can try to do to . What

49:23

did I do wrong ? What did I not do

49:25

to not be able to hit that goal ? Yeah

49:27

, and then also bedtime connection Before

49:30

going to bed , take a couple

49:32

minutes to connect and , like I was saying , just see

49:34

, hey , how

49:36

was your day . I think that's a

49:39

big thing that not a lot of people hit

49:41

on yeah because everybody cares about themselves

49:43

. Yeah , that

49:45

was one thing that my dad did to us every

49:47

day , and I know Cambria has mentioned

49:49

it out . Every time Cambria has ever talked to my dad

49:52

, my dad's always how was your

49:54

day ? And I remember being a kid

49:56

and he would ask me every

49:58

day when I got home from school . He would either

50:00

call me because he was out working or

50:02

he would actually be

50:04

there and he just asked me , hey , how was your day ? And

50:07

I would get so frustrated with it , right , because

50:09

he would ask it every single day .

50:11

Same thing , dad . Same thing At practice

50:13

. What'd you learn ?

50:14

Nothing . And he

50:17

at the point where he was like , why don't I ask you how was your

50:19

day ? No more , I just want to see how your day was . And

50:22

that little , those little

50:24

words , that that little sentence that's added . You

50:27

don't see the significant of that

50:29

question until you get a little bit older and

50:31

we're like , hey man , yeah , how was your day ? And

50:34

genuinely asking it . You know you have

50:36

those people that

50:39

you go up to in the office , or how are you

50:41

? You know , it's just that , I'm good . Then they

50:43

walk off .

50:43

Yeah , they don't hear your answer .

50:45

You know , with your spouse a little bit more intimate

50:48

. Yeah , ask them how was your day ? Yeah

50:52

, me and Kayla I've got an argument about it because I'm so bad

50:54

at asking it and she asks

50:56

me . She asked me quite a bit . And there's

50:58

days where I just don't ask her and she's like why didn't you ask me

51:00

how my day was ? Yeah , I

51:02

was like .

51:02

Well , I'm sorry I didn't think about it .

51:03

How was your day ? And then she tells me a long story

51:05

and then lastly

51:09

I mean the fifth one is that

51:11

you could exercise together , you'll

51:13

have kids . Like I was saying , that's part of doing

51:15

a walk . There's gyms that have daycares

51:18

for kids that can get it

51:20

hour a day just to exercise . I

51:23

tell Kayla all the time my biggest fear is having

51:25

kids and I'm not able to be out

51:27

there throwing the ball with them , running around

51:30

with them , making sure that I'm healthy

51:32

, not only for myself but also for my

51:34

spouse and my kids , having an

51:36

hour a day of exercise

51:38

for you and your spouse and

51:40

you and your kids is really good

51:43

.

51:43

Yeah , and finding ways to make that happen

51:45

is key . I mean , exercising

51:48

, can you be ? It could be me

51:50

taking Jen and then I want to walk . Yeah

51:52

, and that teaches your kids to be active . Yeah

51:55

, you know , once your kids think that's okay

51:57

, it's nothing wrong with it . But I want

51:59

my kids to know that they need to be active and healthy

52:01

.

52:02

Yeah , there was a . There was another study that showed

52:05

that how

52:08

your , how

52:10

the mom is actively if

52:12

the mom is fit , the kids are fit . Yeah

52:15

, if the mom struggles

52:17

with doing that , you struggle . So it's

52:19

really all good around for the whole family .

52:21

And you need to know your dynamic with your significant

52:24

other . Like Cambria , I know that she

52:26

needs to work out to be mentally

52:28

there .

52:29

Yeah .

52:29

I should get stressed so like if I'm home

52:31

, on the days I am home , I'll

52:34

be like , hey , I'll watch the kids go to work out Me

52:36

, I can care less . It's more of

52:38

like I have to force myself .

52:40

He's like oh they got all that stuff on .

52:42

I use the kids excuse a lot when

52:44

it comes to that , but I know for Cambria

52:46

that's healthy , so I'm going to support her and

52:49

help her be able to maintain

52:51

that mental wellness .

52:53

So yeah Well , those are my little , five

52:55

little tips that maybe y'all can use

52:58

in y'all's relationship to see , you

53:00

know , just add a little bit to it . You know you

53:02

don't want to stop dating your wife and never

53:04

, never keep it young

53:06

, keep it fresh .

53:07

I was actually going to have an episode on that here shortly

53:09

.

53:10

Well , I just did a sneak peek , you're

53:12

welcome .

53:13

But no , and I for

53:15

those listening or watching . Zane

53:19

doesn't even know about this , but I'll tell him here soon

53:21

. I actually have some big news coming up , for

53:23

no race like home

53:25

, where we have some

53:28

things in the background in the works , here soon

53:30

, here very soon , and

53:32

I need to make sure Zane's free too .

53:34

So you want to bleep it out .

53:36

Secret . But , as

53:38

always , if you like this content , do

53:41

us a huge favor , go and share it . Like

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it , follow us , subscribe . It

53:46

helps us out a lot and we truly do appreciate

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it . It allows

53:50

us to keep growing and producing content

53:52

for you and , at the end of the day , that's what we want . We want to

53:54

be able to help people out , help fathers

53:56

, future fathers , future husbands , husbands

53:58

out and let them

54:01

know they're not alone in this no

54:03

race , or not alone in this race

54:05

like home . Yeah , Because it's definitely a race

54:07

every single day .

54:08

No , you're not lying . Last

54:10

week I crashed .

54:13

I caught on fire this weekend . I forgot to tell you that

54:15

on the show .

54:16

Yeah , you did . I saw

54:18

it on Facebook .

54:19

Yeah .

54:20

I had to text to him and I said hey man , you good

54:22

, I can't be having my podcast partner

54:24

just die on me .

54:26

So I caught on fire . I'm alive . But

54:28

those who don't know , I was racing in the Tulsa

54:31

shootout . If you don't go read my blog

54:33

, no race like homecom . But yeah , I

54:35

caught on fire . I'm here , I'm

54:37

healthy , cars good . I was more

54:39

mad that I couldn't finish the race . So , but

54:43

to follow up on that , we want you to finish

54:45

the race . So , like , subscribe

54:47

, handle all the content

54:49

so you can finish that race at

54:51

home .

54:52

Yeah .

54:52

Thank you .

54:53

I'll see y'all later .

54:54

Bye .