0:00

If you love your phone, but not

0:02

your carrier, just switch to T-Mobile. You

0:04

can keep your phone, keep your number,

0:06

and we'll help pay it off up

0:08

to $800 per line. You can also

0:10

use our savings calculator to compare our

0:12

plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and

0:14

AT&T. So, switch and keep your phone,

0:16

keep your number, and keep more of

0:18

your mullah at T-Mobile. Up to four

0:20

lines, the virtual prepaid card

0:23

allows 15 days qualifying unlock

0:25

device credit service ported 90

0:28

plus days with device and

0:30

eligible carrier and timely

0:32

return to six months. Welcome

0:35

to too many tabs. Season 3,

0:37

or should I say, season 3. That's

0:39

right. We're back. But are we

0:41

so back? Absolutely not. We're barely

0:43

back. We're barely back. We are

0:46

dying. Oh my god, we've been sick

0:48

for like two weeks. We've been

0:50

so sick and we're gonna explain

0:52

it all to you of what

0:55

happened, what's been going on. It's

0:57

not so little wild two weeks.

0:59

It's been, it's been a wild

1:01

two weeks and we barely

1:04

left. You don't, fuck

1:06

it. Let's just get

1:08

started. Hold on. Too

1:10

many comes and too

1:13

many spammers and we're

1:15

starting to feel like

1:17

we've got Too many

1:19

times, oh Ben, it's

1:22

too many times. Remember

1:24

to smile. That was a

1:26

lot of really cool dance moves. That

1:28

was, and if you don't watch the

1:30

YouTube, you won't see it during the

1:33

intro. But yes, we are back. We're

1:35

back, baby. We're here. We have been

1:37

under the weather, the entire household. Oh

1:40

my God. Mrs. Perlmania. My voice sounds

1:42

super cool. Myself. Pearl Babia. Yeah. Everyone

1:44

has been sick. Coming up on two

1:46

weeks now. We're doing it. Since we

1:49

last recorded an episode for an episode

1:51

for you. Go take a little break now. We even said,

1:53

hey, we might even just repost, we might re- upload

1:55

some stuff. Well, what we were going to

1:57

do, what we were going to do, is

1:59

we picked out two of our favorite episodes.

2:02

So it's from season one season one. Yeah.

2:04

And then we were going to record new

2:06

intros. Yeah, because the old intros were so

2:09

long and had shout outs and all that

2:11

different stuff. And we were like, hey, what

2:13

we'll record new intro, maybe new insights, right?

2:15

Things have changed. Yeah, things have changed. The

2:18

format of the show has changed. The play

2:20

has befell our house. Yes. Multiple. Don't give

2:22

it away. A literal pox upon our house.

2:25

We'll explain a little bit further into the

2:27

episode. But you know, this is- But just

2:29

know that we had plans. We weren't really

2:31

just going to go away for two weeks.

2:34

We had little ideas we're going to pepper

2:36

in. Yeah, we had things we were percolating.

2:38

I had YouTube's I was going to make.

2:40

Oh, the YouTube's. But you're alive. But I'm

2:43

alive, you're barely alive. I, you, this is

2:45

the best you sounded in so long. I

2:47

have a lot of cat people. And the

2:50

baby is healthy now. The baby is healthy

2:52

enough now to be in a in a

2:54

in a little child care situation. Yeah. So

2:56

we could sit down at a table together

2:59

and record a podcast and dump lure. But

3:01

we're not going to do research for today.

3:03

I want to just do. This is personal.

3:06

This is, we're dumping backstory, Lord. For you,

3:08

the listeners. Basically, we wanted to do a,

3:10

hey, what, what were we doing during our

3:12

break? Yeah, you know, during our little vacation.

3:15

Yeah, it definitely was a vacation. That's what

3:17

it was. Yeah, everyone saying it. Last year,

3:19

when we did this, when we took a

3:21

little break, when we returned, we had a

3:24

new baby. Yeah. And this year, we just

3:26

have a one-year-old baby. Well, yeah, we don't

3:28

have a new baby. We don't have a

3:31

new baby. We don't have a new baby.

3:33

We don't have a new baby. We don't

3:35

have a new baby. We don't have a

3:37

new baby. We don't have a new baby.

3:40

We don't have a new baby. We don't

3:42

have a new baby. We don't have a

3:44

new baby. And we know that because he's

3:46

been checked by multiple doctors now. Exactly. He's

3:49

doing great. We though, still don't. I think

3:51

we're jumping ahead. Stop jumping ahead. We need

3:53

to. start at the beginning. Okay. We took

3:56

a break. We took a break. Well we

3:58

recorded our last episode. Yep, we recorded our

4:00

last episode. And then we got we had

4:02

our child's first birthday party. Yeah and we

4:05

also released the the cookie episode. Oh, listen,

4:07

I forgot about the cookie episode. Yeah, for

4:09

all our patrons out there. Oh, I got

4:12

a lot of great comments. Yeah, loved it.

4:14

Yeah, and we've been getting a lot of

4:16

really great comments. Just real quick, before we

4:18

get into everything. Thank you for everyone who

4:21

sent us their Spotify rap lists with us

4:23

on them. Thank you for everybody who sent

4:25

us images of Devil Eggs or cookies you've

4:27

made. I always shared anything else by tagging

4:30

me or Mrs. Promomania across social media. We

4:32

really do appreciate it. We really do appreciate

4:34

it. that we've gotten from people who have

4:37

said, hey, looking back on 2024, y'all's podcast

4:39

or your content really helped me get through.

4:41

the darkest year of my life. And I'm

4:43

just wanna let you know. Thank you for

4:46

letting me know that. Even darker year ahead.

4:48

No, shut off. Even darker year ahead. Oh

4:50

my God, it's gonna be bad. Oh, I'm

4:53

literally the worst. No, no, 2025 is literally

4:55

the worst. Oh, oh, 2025 is literally the

4:57

worst. Oh, oh, it hasn't even started. It's

4:59

fine. The amount of things that I woke

5:02

up, I opened my phone and went, oh,

5:04

and put it back down. It's a worse

5:06

every we're gonna take the last decade, right?

5:08

We're gonna redo all of it. Okay. In

5:11

one year. I guarantee that's exactly what's happening

5:13

right here. I'm gonna put the Perlmania stamp

5:15

on this one. We're taking the think of.

5:18

Think of. Hold on. I'm not done. Think

5:20

of the last decade. All right. Your biggest

5:22

hitters from the last decade. We're doing them

5:24

again, but we're going to do it like,

5:27

uh, like Jay-J Abrams redoing Star Wars, where

5:29

it's going to be similar. It's the same

5:31

story notes, heightened a little bit, but woke

5:34

now. Awoke. They're going to woke it up.

5:36

Um, I disagree with you. I think everything's

5:38

going to be totally fine and cool. Okay,

5:40

well, then, you know, I don't... I don't

5:43

like to say this, but if that's your

5:45

belief, then give me your hand. Yeah, oh

5:47

my god. Then you are an idiot. So...

5:49

No, no, I'm just being delusional? No, optimist.

5:52

That's delusion. Same thing. Yeah, no, I was

5:54

being delusional. Okay, no, that's fine. We're recording

5:56

this on New Year's Day, by the way.

5:59

Yeah. We've been watching Anderson Cooper clips. All

6:01

morning because we did not stay up late.

6:03

We just slept. We just slept. We went

6:05

to sleep. So let's go. Let's talk about

6:08

what we did on our break. Okay, so

6:10

we had a birthday party. We had the

6:12

birthday party for the baby. With the birthday

6:15

party, it was great. We had a hoagie

6:17

tray. It was great. We had a Hoagy

6:19

tray, Costco birthday cake, many people over. Yeah.

6:21

And then, um, people brought over presents for

6:24

the baby. With the birthday party, it, it

6:26

was great. So we had a Hoagy tray,

6:28

we had a hoagie tray, it. So we

6:30

had a hoagie tray, a hoagie tray, a

6:33

hoagie tray, a hoagie tray, a, a hoagie

6:35

tray, a, a hoagie tray, a, a, a

6:37

hoagie tray, a, a, a, a, a, a,

6:40

a, a hoagie tray, a, a, a, a,

6:42

a, a, a ho For you it goes

6:44

Thanksgiving Christmas. Yeah. For me, it's I like

6:46

Thanksgiving more now because you like it. Yeah.

6:49

And it makes you happy. But I want

6:51

to get I want to become a Halloween

6:53

family. A Halloween family? I want to get

6:56

super. I want to make Halloween our personality.

6:58

Okay. For like four months out of the

7:00

year. Perfect. The whole setup. I'm into it.

7:02

I have big ideas. I know. So we

7:05

had a party and that was super fun.

7:07

And then. that Monday, we went to the

7:09

governor's residence. Yeah, the governor's residence, the Pennsylvania

7:11

governor invited us, the entire family, to a

7:14

holiday party that was for content creators and

7:16

influencers. I had been to it last year.

7:18

I went to last year's Christmas holiday party.

7:21

We have a Jewish governor, so it's a

7:23

holiday party. It's officially a holiday party. Yeah,

7:25

they have a Hanukkah party, but it's not

7:27

not the same. That's, I wasn't invited. Yeah,

7:30

but last year, everybody was really snotty. Yeah,

7:32

well, because last year, I went by myself,

7:34

you were heavily pregnant. You were about to

7:36

pop, and you were about to pop. And

7:39

I went and you looked at me, you

7:41

want me to put them on pants? Yeah.

7:43

Get out of here. You're like, get out

7:46

of here. You're like, get out of here.

7:48

You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

7:50

I don't, I don't, I don't, get out

7:52

of, get out of, get out of, I

7:55

don't, get out of, get out of, I

7:57

was like, okay, you look great. And you're

7:59

like, you're a fucking liar. But this year,

8:02

we got invited. And last year when I

8:04

went, it was media party. And by that,

8:06

I mean, they had like reporters, local reporters

8:08

from newspapers, they had reporters from TV stations,

8:11

the radio, news radio, all this different stuff.

8:13

They were all there. Plus, like, I want

8:15

to say 10 or 15 content creators slash

8:17

influencers. Yeah, you were outnumbered. And the reporters

8:20

were so mad. It was just the same

8:22

exact thing that happened to me at the

8:24

DNC, where, like, people with journalism degrees who

8:27

worked all these years, who, like, worked in

8:29

the mailroom and worked their way all the

8:31

way up to becoming a broadcaster, I'm an

8:33

anchor for our news station, like, what's this

8:36

guy doing? Gances on fucking. And they trust

8:38

me more than you. Ha ha! And then

8:40

they were like, we can't have these people

8:43

in the same room. They made a whole

8:45

new one. So they made one that was

8:47

just content creators. Yeah, and we got to

8:49

go this time. We and the baby. Yes,

8:52

you and the baby. And I was very

8:54

excited because super cute because we got dressed

8:56

up. I was looking through my 2024 pictures.

8:58

Because I was going to make a big

9:01

carousel with like, oh, these are like the

9:03

highlights. And I ended posting picture of me

9:05

and the baby and the baby. You gave

9:08

me and the baby. You gave me and

9:10

the baby. You gave me special dispensation. You

9:12

gave me special dispensation. You gave me special

9:14

dispensation. You gave me special dispensation. You gave

9:17

me special dispensation. to actually post a picture,

9:19

just me and the baby, because it was

9:21

when he was still kind of potato-like, so

9:24

he doesn't look like that anymore, and he's

9:26

wearing sunglasses, so he can't really tell his

9:28

face. So I was like, okay. In Caledo

9:30

mode. And everyone just went, look at them

9:33

cheeks. Yeah, because he's very cheeked up. He's

9:35

got a cheek cheeky baby. Cheeked up baby.

9:37

So, I was very, very excited, because I

9:39

spent 2024. And the baby definitely didn't get

9:42

to go. I mean anything. I was very

9:44

very excited as a family for all of

9:46

us to be able to experience like one

9:49

of these moments together. Yeah. You know what

9:51

I mean? And like that was super super

9:53

cool. But also more importantly, I knew there

9:55

was going to be a lot of people

9:58

that I've met over the last year especially

10:00

who were going to be at the governor's

10:02

residence. Yeah. And by the way, it's a

10:05

resident. It's not a mansion. It's also the

10:07

most Pennsylvania-ass residence. Number one, it is a

10:09

mansion. If you look at it, it's a

10:11

fucking mansion. You can Google it. When you're

10:14

standing in front of it, it's across the

10:16

street from a methadone clinic and caddy corner

10:18

to a gas station. Yes. So it's the

10:20

most Pennsylvania shit. And it's just in a

10:23

neighborhood, by the way. It's also like the

10:25

Pennsylvania governor's residence is in Harrisburg, which is

10:27

just a middle of nowhere nowhere town. And

10:30

then at the other end like if you're

10:32

down by the state capital the state capital

10:34

looks like a state capital like it has

10:36

a building that was I think was built

10:39

by the same as the US federal capital

10:41

is like the same architect or similar architect

10:43

and the area around it is like where

10:45

business happens So there's like some nicer places

10:48

to be the governor's residence is literally walled

10:50

off. Yeah. There's a big wall around it.

10:52

And we parked we parked in front of

10:55

a method known clinic and you actually pointed

10:57

me you're like They're arguing over who's going

10:59

to go next door to buy cigarettes at

11:01

the golf station. Yeah, I was trying to

11:04

get the baby out of the car and

11:06

they were discussing who's going to go buy

11:08

smokes and I was just like, this is

11:11

so Pennsylvania, perfect, I love this. Yeah. And

11:13

so we had to get in line with

11:15

all the other content creators and it was

11:17

a good mix because it was people from

11:20

all over. There's people, a lot of people

11:22

from Philly. A lot of people from Pittsburgh.

11:24

And then also a lot of people from

11:26

who run like smaller pages. Yeah. Because again,

11:29

it's a Pennsylvania focus. Thanks. So you have

11:31

people who are like, oh, I was like,

11:33

oh, what are you doing? And they're like,

11:36

oh, I run them. I do like the

11:38

chocolate page for all of the different chocolate

11:40

makers around Hershey, Pennsylvania. I was like, oh,

11:42

nice. That's cool. And very nice stuff. Yeah.

11:45

And like I had big questions because there's

11:47

one thing, Hershey's Chocolate, I don't like it

11:49

anymore. Yeah, you're not a fan. It's got

11:52

a weird after Bernie taste. Yeah. And I

11:54

don't know when that started or what they're

11:56

putting in them these days. Yeah, a little

11:58

shrinkflation. But there's something happening in there. Yeah.

12:01

And so I was like, let me tell

12:03

me what's a good trial. Yeah. So there

12:05

was that. And then also I talked to

12:07

people who will talk about like different farmers

12:10

markets. who makes his own sweaters. And he's

12:12

on the spectrum. But like you don't know

12:14

him. No, I never seen him. And I

12:17

kept saying he was the 9-11 sweater guy?

12:19

Yeah. And you kept going, I don't understand.

12:21

And like this guy. Made he has a

12:23

9-11 sweater. Yeah, and have you ever seen

12:26

it? No, I just saw he had a

12:28

sweater of the capital on Pennsylvania Yes, because

12:30

he makes his own sweater I was like

12:33

why is that guy wearing that sweater? That's

12:35

pretty crazy that that exists and he probably

12:37

made it because he made the 9-11 sweater

12:39

and I said I don't what the hell

12:42

did you just say to me? Yeah, so

12:44

this guy pulling up a picture for me

12:46

Yes, I'm pulling a picture for you right

12:48

now I'm trying to find one that isn't

12:51

blurry. It was very funny. Oh, oh. Yeah,

12:53

so that's it. That's the 9-11 sweater. I'm

12:55

putting up on the camera right now. Yeah,

12:58

but basically, I forget. He, I think the

13:00

story was, yes, this is what he had,

13:02

he went to the World Trade Center. Okay.

13:04

And he made a sweater of it. Sure.

13:07

And then 9-11 happened. So he added 9-11.

13:09

So it's like the buildings collapsing. That's this

13:11

whole thing. And so, and he's a very

13:14

nice man. Yeah, he was nice. Like he's

13:16

very nice. And there's, if as long as

13:18

Tiktok's still up for a couple of weeks,

13:20

you can see that you have the story

13:23

behind my Twin Towers sweater. Because he calls

13:25

it a Twin Towers sweater. I keep calling

13:27

it 9-11 sweater. Because his branding is a

13:29

little bit. Well, because it originally it was

13:32

a Twin Towers sweater sweater. Yeah. We had

13:34

a great time, we had a great spread.

13:36

Yeah, great spread, good food. Beautiful food. Great

13:39

people. There was a train set, the baby

13:41

was big into the train set. And, but

13:43

more importantly, the other thing though, I was

13:45

very excited was to, more important than the

13:48

train set. I was excited to introduce you

13:50

and the baby to so many local creators

13:52

and Pennsylvania creators that I've met. A lot

13:54

of people. And there was a lot of

13:57

people. and there was a couple people like

13:59

Santiago from No Shorts and a few other

14:01

different people that you have met a couple

14:04

times so it was good to like catch

14:06

up with them and it was just nice

14:08

it was a nice chill vibe yeah until

14:10

until I started like yapping at the governor

14:13

did not be an idiot you did you

14:15

did as soon as you got within arm's

14:17

length yeah they're like hey come forward take

14:20

a picture I was like Yeah, and I

14:22

was like, I was like, hey, here's a

14:24

list of things y'all have been doing wrong.

14:26

And you're like, and I got a list

14:29

of complaints. Yeah, and, which is why we

14:31

go to these things. Yeah, but also it

14:33

was, it's also in these cases for us,

14:35

being in the content creator space, I don't

14:38

get a lot of office time with coworkers.

14:40

Yeah. And I really do view, there are

14:42

some people that I've met over this last

14:45

year, who I view as more friends, who

14:47

I've shared. We're a friend. Yeah. But if

14:49

we DM, we're co-workers. Got it. Got it.

14:51

You know what I mean? Like what? Maybe

14:54

no, no, if we DM, we're associates. We're

14:56

associates. Okay? That's what I'll allow you to,

14:58

we'll DM each other. If there's no mutuality,

15:01

what's our co-workers? That's my view. Like me

15:03

and who's the girl who dances? Charlie DiMilio?

15:05

As far as I'm concerned, co-workers. Yeah. Me

15:07

and Charlie DiMillo both were at Vidcon. Yep.

15:10

She had her booth. Yep. I was just

15:12

walking around confused as to why I was

15:14

there. Yep. But here's the thing. Same industry.

15:16

We get paid by the same people. She's

15:19

getting paid by Instagram and TikTok. I'm getting

15:21

paid by Instagram and TikTok. She got Patreon

15:23

and she made a video a while ago

15:26

trying to sell her popcorn that made people

15:28

realize that she doesn't understand the class struggle

15:30

of most people of most people around her.

15:32

They really thought she had class consciousness did

15:35

no the lady that dances on her phone.

15:37

No for like a million dollars Yeah, and

15:39

then she put on a Walmart vest remember

15:42

I remember that was good people forget about

15:44

that but anyway all these are I view

15:46

them as co-workers okay and so we got

15:48

to go So it's nice. So it's not

15:51

that we get the baby with that and

15:53

it was a good timing too because it

15:55

was from like 10 to 2 yeah so

15:57

it was like the baby took a nap

16:00

on the way there and then we had

16:02

to sleep the whole way back it's tired

16:04

yeah it's like a 90 minute drive giving

16:07

the goolly I saw the ladies yes and

16:09

he was listen our kid our kids serves

16:11

face yeah he's real good at it and

16:13

then that was that was the end of

16:16

the beginning okay yeah because we're gonna take

16:18

a little break because you need to cough

16:20

I need to cough real bad and we

16:23

need to explain a little bit more of

16:25

how we got these coughs and we will

16:27

do that. Wait, no I thought we were

16:29

going to talk about how we went to

16:32

the White House. We're doing that after the

16:34

break. Oh, I'm sorry. We're going to

16:36

take a break right now. If

16:38

you love your phone, but not

16:40

your carrier, just switch to T-Mobile.

16:42

You can keep your phone, keep

16:44

your number, and we'll help pay

16:46

it off up to $800 per

16:48

line. You can also use our

16:50

savings calculator to compare our plans

16:52

and streaming and streaming benefits against

16:54

Verizon and AT&T. Up to four

16:56

lines, the virtual prepaid card allows

16:58

15 days qualifying unlock device credit

17:00

service ported 90 plus days with

17:02

device and eligible carrier and timely

17:04

return to require it. Card has

17:07

no cash access and expires in

17:09

six months. Marketing is hard. But

17:11

I'll tell you a little secret.

17:13

Let me point something out. You're

17:15

listening to a podcast right now

17:17

and it's great. You love the

17:19

host. You seek it out and

17:21

download it. You listen to it

17:23

while driving, working out, cooking, even

17:25

going to the bathroom. Podcasts are

17:27

a pretty close companion. Did I

17:29

get your attention? You can reach

17:31

great listeners like yourself with podcast

17:33

advertising from Libson ads. Choose from

17:35

hundreds of top podcasts offering host

17:37

endorsements or run a pre-produced ad

17:39

like this one across thousands of

17:41

shows to reach your target audience

17:43

in their favorite podcasts with Libson

17:45

ads.com. Season

17:56

3. We're here. season three premiere okay barely

17:58

back hold how you hold bare back don't

18:00

don't we're not we're not we're bare back

18:03

in 2025 no so we're gonna talk about

18:05

it's the way it's the very next day

18:07

yes the next day we got a babysitter

18:10

should I'm listening shut up shut up shut

18:12

up we got a babysitter yes we got

18:14

a babysitter yes we got a babysitter yes

18:16

we got a I don't care anything about

18:19

the White House. Ignore the White House. I

18:21

could give a fuck. You really could. I

18:23

met so many people at the White House,

18:25

we'll get into it, but I met so

18:28

many people that are, what we would consider

18:30

famous. Yeah. And I was like, the guy

18:32

from Kenya Peel, right? He's there? And he's

18:34

like, oh, I'm going to the after party

18:37

after party. And I'm like, I'm going to

18:39

go to sleep. We were like, isn't this

18:41

amazing at the White House? You're like, we're

18:43

spending an eye away from the baby. When's

18:46

party over, I'm trying to get to bed.

18:48

Yeah. They're like, it's in the afternoon. I

18:50

was like, I'm going to go to go

18:52

to bed. Steems out. I'm going to go

18:55

to go to bed. We were going to

18:57

go to bed. We went to go to

18:59

bed. We went to bed. We went to

19:02

go to go to bed. We went to

19:04

go to bed. We went to go to

19:06

go to bed. We went to go to

19:08

go to bed. We went to go to

19:11

go to bed. We were going to bed.

19:13

We went to go to go to bed.

19:15

We went to go to bed. We went

19:17

to. We were. We were going to. We

19:20

were going to. We were going to. We

19:22

were going to. We were Yeah, because we

19:24

were invited to a White House Christmas party.

19:26

Never been to a White House Christmas party.

19:29

Probably never going to go again. Yeah, I

19:31

had to take the opportunity. It's really like,

19:33

it was like, this is, there's definitely not

19:35

going to happen again. Yeah, at least out

19:38

for four years, at the minimum. Probably at

19:40

the maximum, much longer. Okay. Anyway, we were

19:42

excited. And but the biggest thing, the couple

19:45

things we're most excited about, like you were

19:47

saying, is number one, night away. Where it

19:49

was just you and me when we weren't

19:51

recording this podcast or in bed about to

19:54

go to sleep. That's basically when we get

19:56

alone time as new parents, right? And so

19:58

it was a two and a half plus

20:00

hour drive down where you and I could

20:03

kind of like, we discussed of what we

20:05

want to. podcast to be and some goals

20:07

and then like came up with some fun

20:09

ideas for the YouTube channel for YouTube for

20:12

Patreon for all these different things and it

20:14

was it was a good time and we

20:16

had that both ways go on the way

20:18

down and the way back up and we

20:21

just had some really really great stuff. You

20:23

and I are very good at a road

20:25

trip. You can put us in a car

20:28

together and we're gonna have a good time.

20:30

That's why so many people listen to us

20:32

on road trips. Oh, that's probably true. Because,

20:34

you know, a lot of people don't. Our

20:37

trips to and from DC probably sounded like

20:39

a podcast. There were times. Remember when I

20:41

saw that store that was the cremation place?

20:43

You wrote it down. What's the name? What

20:46

did I write it called? Oh, it was

20:48

called, let's talk, comma. Comma. Comma. The comma

20:50

is what blows my mind in it because

20:52

it's let's talk cremation. Yeah, but there's the

20:55

comma indicates a pause. Yeah. So at first

20:57

like, let's talk. Cremation? Like it's just like,

20:59

how? Hey, let's talk cremation. Yeah, let's talk

21:01

cremation. Like it's what? I love it's a

21:04

funeral. It's a, it's a, It doesn't matter.

21:06

It was the greatest sign ever saw let

21:08

me talk to a cremation. Hey, hey, whoa,

21:10

no talk to it that podcast can't beat

21:13

us in the rankings anymore because it doesn't

21:15

exist I don't know if it doesn't exist

21:17

I just know that she's currently turning state's

21:20

witness for NFTs Well no, she like abandoned

21:22

the podcast. Did she abandon the podcast? Did

21:24

she abandon the podcast? I think she did

21:26

the crypto poll. They did the crypto poll.

21:29

And then she disappeared and there's no more

21:31

podcast. I thought, I don't know if there's

21:33

no more podcast or if she took a

21:35

break. Hold on, why are we going this

21:38

deep one to talk to a? We have

21:40

the number one podcast in the world. We

21:42

have enough to talk to talk about each

21:44

other about each other. Oh, okay. Okay. I

21:47

went in my, I want, my death, I

21:49

want a very boomer, uh, funeral. Okay. I

21:51

want two days. One. I want to wake.

21:53

Yeah. Everybody's got to come for a viewing

21:56

wait. Sure. Okay. Then I want the funeral.

21:58

Okay. And I want the funeral to be

22:00

long. Oh, okay. Okay. Very religious. Oh, uncomfortably

22:03

religious funeral. I know, because I'm not religious

22:05

at all. So I want to bury uncomfortably

22:07

relatively. Wow. To the point where people are

22:09

like, was he really religion? No. He wasn't.

22:12

I don't know. Is this Catholic? Like I

22:14

want to be very confusing. Big, weirdly timed,

22:16

afternoon, like, is it lunch or is it

22:18

dinner? Yeah. Like a 2.30. Yeah. Okay? I've

22:21

ruined your whole morning. Yeah. And you missed

22:23

lunch, but you're getting a big meal, but

22:25

now if technically I'm ruining dinner too. Yeah,

22:27

because you're gonna get stuck in traffic. Well,

22:30

not only do you get stuck in traffic,

22:32

it's at least gonna be 90 minutes long.

22:34

Yeah. It starts around 1. 1.45. Yes. Oh,

22:36

geez. Yeah, it's one of those. It's one

22:39

of those where there's a carving station, but

22:41

they're not ready. And that's like, that's the

22:43

thing that holds it all together. Yeah. Okay?

22:46

Perfect. That's, that's my plan. Okay. And then

22:48

I want to be, oh, boy, I'm not

22:50

done. Oh, okay. I also then need to

22:52

be put in the ground. Yeah, where do

22:55

you want to take? Oh, a third day.

22:57

A third day. The internment, they call the

22:59

internment. Okay. So, day three, one internment. And

23:01

I want to be put wherever is going

23:04

to ruin real estate prices the most. I

23:06

want to take up space. Yeah, okay? I

23:08

want to take up space. Okay. And I

23:10

want to be in the dirt. Okay. Headstone?

23:13

Tall. Smart yeah, I want one of those

23:15

pillars okay, you know the ones that looks

23:17

like the Washington Monument You see the mausoleums.

23:19

I don't want a mausoleum No, but like

23:22

when you go to those type of yeah,

23:24

things they was having yeah, yeah, I don't

23:26

want the little plaque on the ground Mm-mm.

23:29

I don't want the headstones where you could

23:31

trip on them. Yeah, no no I want

23:33

like if you're running and you're trying to

23:35

catch a football and you don't look if

23:38

you don't look if you hit it with

23:40

your face concussion I want yeah okay so

23:42

you're in the ground I'm in the ground

23:44

a monument a monument to me with a

23:47

curse on it oh a curse to your

23:49

enemies no to whoever whoever disturbs my resting

23:51

place and I want the curse written in

23:53

Latin oh god just so that way they

23:56

won't know and then they translated it afterwards

23:58

because now all their luck's turned yeah and

24:00

then they have to put me back and

24:02

this is the start of a movie This

24:05

is not the start of the movie. This

24:07

is the ending of my story. Oh my

24:09

god. Um, I, from my funeral proceedings, um,

24:11

oh you're getting cremated. In the words, in

24:14

the words of my, we're just cremating you.

24:16

In the words of my late great grandma,

24:18

just stick a bow to my ass, let

24:21

the dogs carry me away. There you go.

24:23

So, yeah, I know. What am I worried

24:25

about? I know. For me, mine is all

24:27

about just how many, because like once I'm

24:30

dead. I've, I spend most of my most

24:32

of my life in my life. Trying to

24:34

not be inconvenient to other people like we

24:36

had a for we had a fridge delivered

24:39

y'all It was a whole thing. Oh my

24:41

god. I forgot about that. We didn't have

24:43

it on the list They showed up with

24:45

no fridge. Oh my god. We just shut

24:48

up shut up. Let me explain this We

24:50

went we've been hoarding a little pennies because

24:52

our fridge broke and we're like okay. We

24:54

got a new fridge because You know, it's

24:57

one thing you and I, we've lived with

24:59

the landlord's special fridge for our whole lives.

25:01

So we're fine with a shady fridge. It

25:04

doesn't matter. But there's a baby here and

25:06

there are certain things babies need. And number

25:08

one is a fridge. A working fridge. A

25:10

working fridge. So when our fridge broke, we

25:13

were like, fuck. And so we went to

25:15

the store, we got a new fridge, and

25:17

we got a pretty good deal on it,

25:19

and we got a gift card for more

25:22

money so we can eventually buy a dishcard

25:24

for more money so we can eventually buy

25:26

a dishcard for more money so we can

25:28

eventually buy a dish card for more money

25:31

so we can eventually buy a dish card

25:33

for more money so we can eventually a

25:35

dishwasher, hopefully a dishwasher, hopefully a dishwasher. And

25:37

so we're like, okay, we're adulting really hard

25:40

on this day. And we set up a

25:42

delivery date for Black Friday because we want

25:44

it to be after Thanksgiving. Yeah. The guy,

25:47

the sales guy was like, oh, you want

25:49

it before Thanksgiving? I was like, absolutely not.

25:51

No, it wouldn't buy Friday. It was actually

25:53

a little bit after that. But, um, so

25:56

they. They drive our house for delivery day.

25:58

We're ready. We have the whole fridge cleared

26:00

out. All the food is in like coolers.

26:02

And I had wiped it down. I got

26:05

everything done. And the guys show up. They

26:07

come in the door. We have to remove

26:09

the door from the frame because the things

26:11

are so big. And the guy starts dismantling

26:14

our fridge. And then he looks at his

26:16

co-worker and he goes, hey, so we gotta

26:18

go. And then it goes and talks to

26:20

you. And I hear you. I hear your

26:23

tone. Pitch a little and I said what's

26:25

going on in there turns out they drove

26:27

the truck to our house to deliver our

26:29

new fridge Yep, and take away our old

26:32

fridge. Yep. They did not have our new

26:34

fridge on the truck They did and they

26:36

had already dismantled our old one. Yes It

26:39

was a whole thing. Yeah And because they

26:41

got in a truck with our address and

26:43

said, we're going to deliver a fridge, but

26:45

there was no fridge on the truck. Yeah,

26:48

because basically what y'all need to understand is

26:50

Best Buy used to, back in the day,

26:52

Geek Squad and their delivery stuff used to

26:54

be in-house, and they realized they could save

26:57

money by hiring outside delivery men. And so

26:59

these guys who showed up to the house,

27:01

they're outside delivery men, and how do they

27:03

do their deliveries? Well, they drive to a

27:06

Best Buy warehouse. where everything is loaded up

27:08

on the trucks to them, and then everything

27:10

is scanned in through all these scanners, all

27:12

those different stuff. Basically, those guys showed up

27:15

at the warehouse at 7 a.m. They had

27:17

all of their inventory stacked, all the new

27:19

fringes put onto their truck, and then they

27:22

drove away. Our fridge did not arrive at

27:24

the warehouse. Wasn't there. When they pulled up,

27:26

they're like, we deliver fringes. But at this

27:28

point, the system actually was telling them that

27:31

they're only delivering a waterline cable, but it

27:33

never made sense because this has never happened

27:35

to that before. So then I'm like, what

27:37

are we doing? The guy's like, I guess

27:40

you got to call Best Buy. And then

27:42

he just gets in the truck and drives

27:44

away. I'm like, you just made it. on

27:46

my friend, so like I lose my mind,

27:49

I started calling Best Buy, Best Buy calls

27:51

me, because I guess he called them from

27:53

the truck, and was like, hey, you need

27:55

to go reset that up. So Best Buy

27:58

calls me back, and they're like, hey, oh,

28:00

it was Cyber Monday, that's what it was.

28:02

It was Cyber Monday. And Best Buy calls

28:05

me back, and they're like, hey, just you

28:07

know, we don't have the room. So fuck

28:09

you and I was like all right, I

28:11

just took the date that they gave me

28:14

Yeah, it's whatever I took it and then

28:16

I was like all right and then he

28:18

did that thing that he does where he

28:20

got matter and matter and matter It's all

28:23

day like the steam was building in his

28:25

ears. Yeah, looney tunes character. Yeah, and I

28:27

knew what was gonna happen I knew he

28:29

was gonna yell into his phone in some

28:32

capacity. Yeah, you were like he's gonna cut

28:34

a tick-talk and I didn't but the thing

28:36

is is like I have a very big,

28:38

I have a hatred of celebrities and content

28:41

creators who use their platforms for cloud and

28:43

complaints. Because usually it happens on airports and

28:45

airplanes. Delta, I was guaranteed a first class

28:48

seat. But I was like sitting there and

28:50

I was like, I don't, I didn't want

28:52

to do that. What's her name? That that

28:54

comedian lady I love. Oh, I can't remember

28:57

her name. She, she, the only one I'll

28:59

say is valid is I remember she was

29:01

on like an American Airlines flight, I think.

29:03

And they brought her the blanket because she

29:06

like had, I guess she was on business

29:08

class and they were bringing blankets. And when

29:10

she opened the blanket, there was a poop

29:12

in there. That's different. There was a poop

29:15

in there. That's different. There was a poop

29:17

in there. But that's the only valid. I

29:19

don't know what to do. So finally I.

29:21

I made a threads post. I went on

29:24

threads and I was like, fuck this. I

29:26

posted on threads and I tagged Best Buy

29:28

and then I put it in my Instagram

29:30

store. and I tagged them on Instagram. Because

29:33

again, back in the day, you would use

29:35

Twitter for this. This is a Twitter thing.

29:37

Nicole Byer. Nicole Byer, yes. So, I did

29:40

on, you know, I said whatever, did on

29:42

Instagram, didn't really think about it, and didn't

29:44

really think about it, and I didn't really

29:46

think about it, and I didn't really think

29:49

about it, and I didn't really think about

29:51

it, and I didn't really think about it,

29:53

and then I don't really think about it,

29:55

I don't really think about it, I don't

29:58

think about it, because I don't really think

30:00

about it, I don't really think about it,

30:02

I don't really think about it, I don't

30:04

really think about it, And then I look

30:07

at my phone, I'm like, oh, I have

30:09

so many messages from Best Buy, right? Like,

30:11

hey, how can we make this right? What

30:13

do we do? And so I had a

30:16

back and forth with Best Buy, because they're

30:18

like, hey, we can fix this. We just

30:20

need your name, your phone number, your home

30:23

address, and your ticket number. And I was

30:25

like, here's my confirmation number. You have my

30:27

name from my account. Yeah. I'm not giving

30:29

a stranger. We're like, we're not putting the

30:32

information in the DM. I'm not doxing myself

30:34

in a DM. And this went back and

30:36

forth, back and forth, until I was like,

30:38

call the number on the receipt. I was

30:41

like, you have a phone number. It's my

30:43

phone number. Call it. And finally, they're like,

30:45

do we have your, I was like, call

30:47

me. And then they could confirm me. And

30:50

they're like, we can't make any promises. But

30:52

basically. But basically, instead of it taking it

30:54

taking two weeks. We got a new. We

30:56

got a new. We got a new fridge

30:59

of it taking two weeks. We got a

31:01

new fridge. We got a new fridge. We

31:03

got a new fridge. We got a new

31:06

fridge. We got a new fridge. We got

31:08

a new fridge. But that was my moment

31:10

where I was like, oh. But of course,

31:12

it's also one of those things where I

31:15

finally did put out a post. Like, thank

31:17

you, the Best Buy for making it, right?

31:19

It got like three likes. But the original,

31:21

fuck Best Buy, I got like 9,000. I'm

31:24

like, this is just how life is. But

31:26

yeah. This is just how life is. That's

31:28

how it goes. But yeah, we got the

31:30

fridge, thank God. Yeah. Okay, back to DC.

31:33

Oh. We're driving up with good ideas. Come

31:35

up with good ideas. Yeah, because of good

31:37

ideas. Yeah, because of the cremation. Yeah, because

31:39

of the cremation, that's a cremation, that's a

31:42

cremation, that's. I was talking about our hotel

31:44

room. But the thing is, we didn't know

31:46

if they were going to feed us. Because

31:48

you've been at the White House before and

31:51

they didn't feed you. Yes. So I was

31:53

like, listen, I'm not going anywhere hungry. And

31:55

also, you're gluten free. So you don't know

31:58

if there's anything you could eat. You never

32:00

know. So I was like, we got to

32:02

go eat. So I was like, let's go

32:04

to Chinatown because they have a conveyor about

32:07

sushi place. one to go there's two things

32:09

I've always wanted to do in my life

32:11

when it comes to food it has nothing

32:13

to do with the food itself it's all

32:16

about how it's served yeah number one conveyor

32:18

belt sushi has been a dream of mine

32:20

the entire life I now I'm gonna replace

32:22

it with the boat sushi they have ones

32:25

where there's like a little water that runs

32:27

and you put in little boats I want

32:29

that I know they exist I heard there's

32:31

one in Colorado but I don't trust being

32:34

in a landlocked place to get too far

32:36

away from oceans far away from oceans that's

32:38

my feeling about it They compare about sushi,

32:41

but the other one is in old school,

32:43

1940s, 1950s, style, automat. Yeah. Where you go,

32:45

like, you put the quarter in, you get

32:47

a slice of pie? Yep. You open a

32:50

little door, get a little slice of pie?

32:52

Yeah. I've always wanted to do that. An

32:54

advent calendar. I've always wanted to go to

32:56

one of those, and they have never, every

32:59

time they try to make a new one.

33:01

I'm like, oh, I write down where it's

33:03

going where it's gonna be. And then where

33:05

it's gonna be, and then, and then, and

33:08

they always go out of business within six

33:10

months, and then, and they always go out

33:12

of business within six months, Because we're also

33:14

used to like customization. Yeah, I think so.

33:17

But also, I just wanted to, like, the

33:19

idea of a vending machine restaurant is appealing

33:21

to me in a weird way. And that's

33:24

why I was so, we were so excited.

33:26

You took me to this conveyor belt sushi

33:28

place. You didn't tell me what's gonna bear

33:30

about sushi. Just said we're getting sushi. Yeah.

33:33

And like it's in Chinatown. It's around the

33:35

corner. And we went over there. And I

33:37

was... And then we both cursed in the

33:39

streets because we saw what happened in DC

33:42

Chinatown. Because... We haven't been there to DC

33:44

Chinatown since they built their stadium. Their arena,

33:46

yeah. Ruined Chinatown. Which now Philadelphia is going

33:48

to do. Yeah. And we were... So we

33:51

were just cursing on the street. Which literally

33:53

like days after we went to DC's Chinatown

33:55

and saw how the local arena there destroyed

33:57

their Chinatown? Philadelphia City Council passed the rule

34:00

that will allow the Philadelphia 76ers to build

34:02

a basketball arena to destroy Pennsylvania, Chinatown, which

34:04

is the place that we love. Like some

34:07

of our first dates ever were in Philadelphia,

34:09

Chinatown. I have so many great memories. And

34:11

we could drive to Davis, Malaywah right now.

34:13

That one place with the roadie, that one

34:16

place with the roadie, that one of the

34:18

roadie, Brad, I love. Oh, the banana leaf.

34:20

Yeah, banana leaf. There's so many places. the

34:22

convention center and there's so many other things.

34:25

Yeah, writing terminals right there. Yeah, Chinatown and

34:27

Philly has been battling to not be destroyed

34:29

by developers and by the Philadelphia City Council

34:31

for so fucking long. And so when we

34:34

got to DC's Chinatown and we saw so

34:36

many great local family-owned businesses like Walgreens and

34:38

AT&T. What was the other one? There was

34:40

like a taco bell? Yeah, but with the

34:43

Chinese dragon on it, so boom. Yeah, but

34:45

they had the names in Mandarin next to

34:47

it? Because that's the whole thing is, as

34:49

long as they use the imagery, it's still,

34:52

it's still. But I was like, this is

34:54

just a Walgreens. This isn't like a local

34:56

Chinese family pharm, like we have in Philly.

34:59

I'm like looking around, I'm like, what the

35:01

fuck? And so then I said, go into

35:03

this, go into this door, go into this

35:05

door and shut up, and shut up. the

35:08

conveyor belt sushi place. And the second I

35:10

got in there I calmed out because it

35:12

was amazing. It was so fun. It was

35:14

so incredible. It was his lifetime dream. We

35:17

ate too much sushi. We really did. So

35:19

here's the thing that happens when you go

35:21

there. It's all little plates and there's a

35:23

conveyor belt that runs past everybody. And everybody

35:26

you can just grab. They have little bubbles

35:28

and you kind of like pulled little plates

35:30

out. And each of them will have like

35:32

two. Or if there's a couple rolls, so

35:35

if you get like a California roll, there'll

35:37

be like four rolls there. But every plate

35:39

is basically $3.80. Yeah. And so you can

35:42

just grab plates. And so I was trying

35:44

sushi I've never tried before because usually when

35:46

I go to like a traditional sushi restaurant

35:48

or you buy a tray from like the

35:51

grocery store or whatever. When you get that,

35:53

or a gas station. Okay, don't buy a

35:55

gas station. Gas station sushi baby. Gas station.

35:57

Listen, we're drinking raw milk and eating gas

36:00

station sushi baby. 2025. It's gonna be a

36:02

weird year. Yeah. How did they get sick?

36:04

It wasn't the sushi. No, it wasn't the

36:06

sushi was actually so good. It was the

36:09

best sushi I've had ever I It was

36:11

like a tuna and it had a little

36:13

bit of toasted sesame seed oil on it.

36:15

Oh my God. You talk about seed oils?

36:18

Seed oils are banned. Seed oils? I had

36:20

so many of them. And then, okay, so

36:22

here's the thing. When you're when you're eating

36:25

them, you pull from the plate and then

36:27

in your, when you're eating them, they give,

36:29

you pull from the plate and then in

36:31

the bottom of it, there's a QR code

36:34

that it scans. Yeah. the more you put

36:36

in, the more chances you have to win

36:38

a keychain. I was gonna bring up the

36:40

keychain. I know. And it's this cute little

36:43

keychain. And so at one point, like, we're

36:45

starting at full, but I'm like, I'm getting

36:47

a fucking keychain. Yeah. So we had between

36:49

us 19 plates. Yep. Of all sorts of

36:52

different stuff. We tried everything. And again, because

36:54

like at a traditional place, you get like

36:56

the rolls you know, so I usually get

36:58

like a salmon or a crunchy tuna or

37:01

rainbow rolls, like about as crazy I usually

37:03

get. Sometimes I'll get a special. But for

37:05

the most part, like I wouldn't have tried

37:07

like jalapenio, jalapenu, yellow tail or whatever it

37:10

was. Or that grilled one. Or there's the

37:12

scallops. And let me tell you something. When

37:14

I'm at a chili's and a robot delivers

37:17

food, I get mad because that's destroying workers.

37:19

But when I'm at a conveyor belt sushi

37:21

place and a robot, I was like, how

37:23

fun! How fun! How fun! But the robot

37:26

forgot our drink, so we had to go

37:28

get a human. Yeah, we did. She was

37:30

lovely. Yeah, you ordered a diet Coke, I

37:32

ordered a regular Coke, and the robot brought

37:35

a diet Coke in a water. And I

37:37

was like, hmmmm. Yeah, I'm not getting charged

37:39

for that. You better get a soda. But

37:41

yeah, no, we had so much fun. And

37:44

we ate a lot of sushi. We ate,

37:46

we were so full. And I did get

37:48

a key chain. You did get a cheese

37:50

chain. I was going to say my insider

37:53

secret is that when you're, when you, if

37:55

you go to this, sushi places like this,

37:57

and they have like the vending, because it's

38:00

like a vending, every five minutes, it's like

38:02

it. as if you had like 10 plates

38:04

and you go pop pop pop pop pop

38:06

and then suddenly there's like a shark on

38:09

the screen it looks like when you're bowling

38:11

yeah it's like bowling animation it's like you

38:13

got a strike yeah yeah except it's a

38:15

little anime shark yeah it was so cute

38:18

anyway we had a great time yeah and

38:20

then we waddled out of there Wattle, waddled.

38:22

We really did. We were so full. Because

38:24

we took a car there, and then we

38:27

walked back, because I was just so full.

38:29

Yeah, we had to walk back. And then

38:31

we stopped at Macy's, the spray, expensive perfumes

38:33

on ourselves. We did. We all like, listen.

38:36

But here's the thing. We weren't dressed. We

38:38

were dressed nice. But we weren't, when we

38:40

finally got to the line, the line of

38:43

people was so long. And did I pull

38:45

a move? Boy did I ever pull a

38:47

move? I'll admit it. I'll admit it. So

38:49

we're walking up to the line and like

38:52

because it's like on this one side of

38:54

the of the White House and you have

38:56

to go through all these different layers of

38:58

security to get in. Yeah. And there's I'm

39:01

just thinking those would be people. I didn't

39:03

think that they didn't I didn't realize they

39:05

invited like a thousand people. It was a

39:07

it so many people. So I walk up

39:10

and the line is like down around the

39:12

block. But I see a guy I see

39:14

a guy I know. my friend Jason and

39:16

he's near the front he'd been there for

39:19

a while he came in from Oklahoma so

39:21

like he had been there for a while

39:23

he didn't drive in that that afternoon like

39:26

us so I like I'm like oh my

39:28

god Jason and like I got to introduce

39:30

you because he never met you and then

39:32

we're like talking and then we're talking and

39:35

then we see more people and then I'm

39:37

like oh my god and then you saw

39:39

people you saw me at the governor's mansion

39:41

the day before so that you're like chatting

39:44

like chatting like chatting 400 people 500 people

39:46

in this line and we're talking all of

39:48

a sudden we're like right near the time

39:50

the line starts moving and then I just

39:53

start walk oh no and so were we

39:55

like the first people yeah sure what there

39:57

were people further back in the line be

39:59

like we saw what you did promence and

40:02

I was just like what I don't know

40:04

what you're talking about so we got through

40:06

security which is crazy and then we got

40:08

in it was beautiful it was really Bill,

40:11

Dr. Jill, she did a great job. She

40:13

did. Malania could never. Malania doesn't understand camp.

40:15

And Jill understands camp. But Jill also understands

40:18

camp. But Jill also understands, Jill's also from

40:20

Delco. Yeah, exactly. There was one room. What

40:22

are those trees called? It's a porcelain Christmas

40:24

tree with a little lights that stick out

40:27

of it. Yeah, like little gum drop lights.

40:29

It's like a night bright. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

40:31

kind of those little lights. Yeah, they had

40:33

one room that was just those hundreds of

40:36

them hundreds of them There was giant ones.

40:38

Yeah, there was one that was spinning. Yeah,

40:40

there was one that was big and then

40:42

had other little ones on it because it

40:45

was actually a shelf Yeah, it was crazy

40:47

Yeah, and there was there was just it

40:49

was just really really nice, but also you

40:51

got to meet a lot of people who

40:54

again, it's like a different crew of people.

40:56

So these are more political for the most

40:58

part content creators and a lot of them

41:01

who I had met going to things like

41:03

Vidcon and the DNC versus what we're in

41:05

the governor's mansion in Harrisburg because Harrisburg again

41:07

was more about being from Pennsylvania yeah Pennsylvania

41:10

stuff it was like really specific people from

41:12

all over yeah and actual celebrities there were

41:14

there was actual there was the guy from

41:16

Key and Peel was there yeah yeah Key

41:19

and Michael Keel you're thinking Jordan you just

41:21

combined them oh okay again Michael Key got

41:23

it yes and who else was there Oh,

41:25

the other guy, the guy from that 70

41:28

show was there. And I said, don't go

41:30

near him. Yeah, Wilmer Valdorama. We were stuck

41:32

as they were put at the end. They're

41:34

pushing us out. Yeah. And I like turn

41:37

and you're you're with someone else you were

41:39

talking and you're with someone else you were

41:41

talking and you're with someone else you were

41:44

talking and you're talking about. You're with someone

41:46

else you were talking. Yeah. But you're with

41:48

someone else you were talking. I'm crazy and

41:50

I was like, no, right there, willeder, fault,

41:53

or wrong. And so then he like sees

41:55

us like. at him and like gives like

41:57

the celebrity wave and then you turn around

41:59

and you're like oh it's that guy and

42:02

then I was like get away from him

42:04

because I was like don't get in a

42:06

picture with because part of me I was

42:08

I was like oh I'll take a selfie

42:11

with him and then which by the way

42:13

just so you guys know has been the

42:15

last two years of my life has been

42:17

friends and family of mine because I'll see

42:20

a famous person like I met a famous

42:22

person and then specifically being like crimes Yeah,

42:24

just start yelling cry. No crime. Yeah, I

42:27

was like do you not know what he

42:29

did to Demi Lovato and I didn't I

42:31

know but so I started whispering to you

42:33

and I'm like you started listing I was

42:36

like listen to me Lindsay Lohan Demi Lovato

42:38

he and the other lady Amanda Amanda Amanda

42:40

Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda

42:42

Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda Amanda yeah,

42:45

I was like Talking to me and I

42:47

was there's different ladies talking to me and

42:49

she's like she goes. Oh my god Wilder

42:51

I love you in? Uh, you are no

42:54

Gray's anatomy. Yeah, and he was like yeah,

42:56

I'm from like starts talking about Gray's anatomy

42:58

and I was like you're not from Gray's

43:00

anatomy You're from that you're fes shut the

43:03

fuck up you are me meanwhile because you

43:05

were talking to my friend Liz Booker Liz

43:07

is a stand of comedian. Yeah. And so

43:09

I'm thinking the two of us, we should

43:12

mention him doing yo mama from MTV. And

43:14

then this third person shows up was like,

43:16

no, no, no, the most, I love you

43:19

in the most recent thing you're doing. And

43:21

we're all like, Gray's and Adam is still

43:23

on the air. Like we were like confused.

43:25

And the whole time I'm just pulling you

43:28

away, I'm like, we gotta get away from

43:30

this guy. Yeah, I don't want any images

43:32

of any images of you. this is before

43:34

we met random well when we were driving

43:37

down when we were driving we were joking

43:39

we were joking about the people we were

43:41

gonna meet at the white house yes and

43:43

i had said it would be so fucking

43:46

funny if we got to meet if you

43:48

got to meet specifically not me but you

43:50

got to meet a hunter-biden yes and we

43:52

were in one of the rooms and somebody

43:55

came in and was like, oh my God,

43:57

Hunter Biden's over there. And the way that

43:59

you and I stopped talking to everyone and

44:02

just silently ran to the next room. So

44:04

one of the things is the White House

44:06

Christmas Party, the big deal about it. Besides

44:08

you get to be at the White House,

44:11

the White House, Christmas Party, the big deal

44:13

about it. Besides you get to be at

44:15

the White House, besides the beautiful spread of

44:17

food. So beyond all that. looking through everything

44:20

and trying to like take it all in.

44:22

Yeah. One of the things that they make

44:24

a big deal about is you can sit

44:26

in the old chairs. Yeah. And specifically the

44:29

red and the green room. They have these

44:31

very very old chairs and it's we have

44:33

a picture of us sitting in one of

44:35

the old chairs because like people are like

44:38

this is you're not nobody's let. When there's

44:40

the tour there's just rope up for all

44:42

these different rooms and if you go like

44:45

click through like a white house tour. If

44:47

you actually ever get to take one, because

44:49

you can reach out to your congressman, by

44:51

the way, to take a tour of the

44:54

White House, the Capitol, all these different things,

44:56

they have like tickets, they can give away

44:58

like a certain amount. And I've done the

45:00

tour when I was a kid. So I've

45:03

been in these rooms in like 1992 when

45:05

George H.W. Bush was president, like I took

45:07

like a Boy Scout trip, and we walked

45:09

through it, I was like, oh man, look

45:12

at the old chair. And I was sitting

45:14

in it with my wife, like this is

45:16

so cool. Hunter Biden's in the other room,

45:18

he's taking selfies with people. And we just

45:21

like, I looked at you, we stood up

45:23

silently and just started moving. We didn't say

45:25

anything to anyone around us. We just started

45:27

moving, and we get over there, and we

45:30

get to the other side, and I'm gonna

45:32

tell you a little bit more about it.

45:34

After this little break. At T-Mobile, we'll give

45:37

you four free 5G phones and four lines

45:39

for only $25 per line per month with

45:41

eligible trade-ins. And no, it's not a contest.

45:43

It's every day for a limited time. Everyone's

45:46

a winner on America's largest 5G network. Minimum

45:48

four lines for 25. Minimum Four lines for

45:50

25 per lines for 25 per line with.

45:52

Minimum four lines for 25 per line per

45:55

line with 25. Minimum four lines for $25

45:57

per line for $25 per line per month

45:59

with auto pay. We're sitting and we get

46:01

up. We run. You can't run in the

46:04

White House. They'll shoot you.com. We're back. And

46:06

we're talking about Hunter Biden. So we're back.

46:08

And we're talking about Hunter Biden. So we're

46:10

sitting and we get up. We run. What?

46:13

No, we didn't. You can't run in the

46:15

White House. They'll shoot you. Because also, we

46:17

also heard that flavor flavor was that, I

46:20

was like, I gotta fucking find flavor flavor.

46:22

And when we saw Kika, Michael, I really

46:24

wanted to get a picture with him and

46:26

talked to him briefly. Yeah. Because one of

46:29

the big jokes that has come up for

46:31

the last like 18 months as I've been

46:33

in this content creator space is oftentimes people

46:35

have talked about me doing the anger translator.

46:38

Yeah, you're the anger translator. Where people who

46:40

haven't been. able to communicate anger very well,

46:42

to show up behind them and scream a

46:44

ton of curse words while they're talking normal.

46:47

And it was like, this will be a

46:49

fun idea. And so I really wanted to

46:51

be like, hey, just you know, that was

46:53

a thing that we want to talk about.

46:56

So we are, we hear about Hunter Biden,

46:58

stand up. I'm like, I gotta go try

47:00

to find him. Who knows? So he's mobbed.

47:03

He's like right inside this one doorway. And

47:05

like also I keep taking it in my

47:07

mind that like we're in the East room

47:09

of the White House is like this big

47:12

gold room like this is where like JFK

47:14

gave speeches like famous speeches and I'm in

47:16

here like where's the president's crackhead so I

47:18

need to find and so like I get

47:21

to find her stuff like I'm in here

47:23

like where's the president's crackhead so I need

47:25

to find and so like I love your

47:27

stuff I'm like cool fuck off and like

47:30

I just keep moving because there's so many

47:32

different layers of content creatorsers and everything and

47:34

everything And I'm like, oh my God. And

47:36

I see him. I'm like, there he is.

47:39

And so now I'm using everything in my

47:41

power from my knowledge of security and going

47:43

to concerts to move through this crowd. I'm

47:46

just trying to, because it's so cramped. And

47:48

I'm just trying to get around. to get

47:50

into what seems like the line. Because I'm

47:52

like, how do you just, I can see

47:55

Secret Service is watching because he's the president's

47:57

son. So I can't like push my way

47:59

in. I have to be, how do I

48:01

do this? And so I get around to

48:04

the front of like where he's facing with

48:06

other people and he's taking pictures. So I

48:08

get in like the line of people who

48:10

are taking the pictures. Not the people who

48:13

are taking the pictures with him, people who

48:15

are holding the phones. And I'm like, I

48:17

hand my phone off to you. And I'm

48:19

like, I'm going to go. And there's one

48:22

guy's like about, he's probably going to get

48:24

to take his picture with Hunter Biden. And

48:26

I'm like, oh, I'll take it for you.

48:28

Yeah. So he hands me his phone. And

48:31

Hunter Biden looks at the guy who goes,

48:33

and the guy's like, you know, hi, Hunter

48:35

Bola. He's trying to explain who he is.

48:38

And Hunter Biden looks at the guy, dead

48:40

in the face. He goes, I'll be honest

48:42

with you pal. And I'm like laughing. I

48:44

think 100 Biden points to me, he goes,

48:47

you should be more like this guy. He

48:49

points right into my face. He goes, you

48:51

should be more like this guy. You see,

48:53

this guy has a look. This guy's memorable.

48:56

And I'm thinking in my head, he's talking

48:58

about the fact that I've red hair and

49:00

a beard, long hair. I have a distinct

49:02

look. Right? It stinks. Thanks. That's what I'm

49:05

thinking. And so then I hand the guy

49:07

has his phone back. No, but like you

49:09

do have a memorable look I've watched your

49:11

stuff and I was like yeah He's like

49:14

yeah, you're one of my favorite content creators

49:16

Yeah, and so the picture I put on

49:18

Instagram and me like clutching my chest and

49:21

looking into the that's on that's real Yeah,

49:23

he legit is like yeah, I watched a

49:25

ton of your stuff follow you and yeah,

49:27

he said I follow you across everything and

49:30

then and I looked at him I was

49:32

like well and he would yeah, I'm being

49:34

for real and he would yeah, I'm being

49:36

for real Because as many of you know,

49:39

Joe Biden's is, I'm being serious right now.

49:41

I'm not, no joke. I'm being serious right

49:43

now, no joke. And he went, I'm being

49:45

for real right now. And I was like,

49:48

that's the difference. What? Apple doesn't fall far

49:50

from the tree. No, and it was, it

49:52

was such a moment. Yeah. And then realizing,

49:54

thinking back to how many times I've yelled

49:57

free hunter on to TikTok. So many times.

49:59

And knowing somewhere out there, Hunter Biden was

50:01

ripping on a menthol, being like, fuck yeah,

50:04

I'm gonna show this to my dad. There's

50:06

no way. And so. That was... Hunter Biden

50:08

was like, yo, this video is hilarious. Let

50:10

me show my dad. And you guys like,

50:13

I'm bathing that up. Yeah. So I legit

50:15

was, I was losing my mind about this.

50:17

I couldn't imagine it. I was like, this

50:19

is so dumb. It was the funniest. It

50:22

was this funniest. It was so funny. Did

50:24

I meet that I liked? I'm trying to,

50:26

oh, you know who I met? You don't

50:28

know who she is. But I met Jackie.

50:31

Gorgina in person just a supermodel. I was

50:33

like who is that beautiful woman? Holy shit.

50:35

That's Jackie Eina. Yeah. Oh my god I

50:37

was I was starstruck I kept meeting she's

50:40

four foot nine Yeah, which is funny because

50:42

I'm like five-foot nine. Yeah, yeah, which is

50:44

funny because I'm like five ten the people

50:46

I kept meeting. Which is funny because I'm

50:49

like five ten the people I kept meeting.

50:51

I'm like this friend. I met this friend.

50:53

I met this friend. I met this friend.

50:56

I met this friend. I met this friend.

50:58

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:00

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:02

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:05

I met this friend. I met this person.

51:07

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:09

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:11

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:14

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:16

I met this friend. I met this friend.

51:18

I met this friend. I met And then,

51:20

there were babies there. There were so many

51:23

babies there. And then, um, uh, the ones

51:25

that kept getting me, though, is you'd walk

51:27

up, you're like, who are you talking to?

51:29

And I would like, oh, that's just so

51:32

and so. And then we'd walk away, you're

51:34

like, who was that? You're like, I hate

51:36

that person. Because they were all resistance Twitter

51:39

accounts. Oh, you're talking, not me, you hated

51:41

them. No, I hated them. Yeah, it was,

51:43

it was, I would meet guys and I'm

51:45

like, I fucking hate this guy. I'm like,

51:48

you're just resistance grifters from the first Trump

51:50

administration who would just be on there every

51:52

day, be like, um, it's Agoff Twitler said

51:54

today, Cheeto Bonito. I'm like, you did nothing.

51:57

You did nothing and you make $500,000. a

51:59

year from your fucking sub stack you scumbags

52:01

yeah you do nothing and I was so

52:03

mad kept that on the inside kept that

52:06

I kept that in here and who's my

52:08

favorite who's my favorite with the fur coat

52:10

who I can never remember his name Kaylon

52:12

Allen was there he showed up a little

52:15

late and Show up late because he's actually

52:17

a celebrity. Yeah, and I was like we

52:19

hugged each other and he's like last time

52:22

we're gonna do this Yeah, I was like

52:24

I know He like literally reached out and

52:26

touched one of the fireplaces. He's like I'm

52:28

never gonna touch this again. Yeah, do it

52:31

now and he if you go back and

52:33

you find Kaylin's tic-tac or on Instagram he

52:35

made a video about the White House and

52:37

it is the funniest talking video is playing

52:40

Houston it is the I saw this video

52:42

I was weeping I was like this is

52:44

exactly exactly exactly it's everything I was thinking

52:46

it was incredible yeah So with that being

52:49

said, we didn't go to the after after

52:51

party. Yeah, we went to we went to

52:53

one after party and we were there like

52:55

long enough to be like we're old. I

52:58

was like ice loud in here. It was

53:00

so loud and old and we were so

53:02

old. There was like two chairs. You mean

53:05

to have seating. So it was also like

53:07

in like an empty room. that they had

53:09

like a DJ set up in the corner

53:11

whose treble was too high and I had

53:14

two beers and I looked at you and

53:16

I'm like we're done yes I and then

53:18

also I looked over at like some pretty

53:20

moderately famous 20 year old like 21 year

53:23

old influencers who were like blackout drunk on

53:25

like three drinks yeah and you're looking at

53:27

them and I'm like there weird that's like

53:29

baby we're just old and they went to

53:32

zoom school okay I got to get out

53:34

of here we're old we're old and they

53:36

went to zoom school They went to zoom

53:38

school. And I was like, you were like,

53:41

oh, do you want to, maybe I should

53:43

have another drink? And I was like, if

53:45

you don't understand about this fucking hotel room,

53:47

I'm not going to go sleep. Yeah, you're

53:50

like, you better say goodbye to all your

53:52

friends. The night's over. Yeah, you're like, the

53:54

night's over in the country's doom. Actually, that's

53:57

the lie, because we didn't reservation. We had

53:59

a nice dinner, but hold on, it don't

54:01

matter. We had a quick nice dinner and

54:03

then we went to bed. Yeah. And we go to

54:05

sleep and we had these beautiful blackout curtains and I woke

54:08

up what I thought was 5 a.m. We went to

54:10

bed by the way, but us going to bed, it

54:12

was 10 o'clock. Yeah. It was 10 p.m. We went to

54:14

bed. Yeah. I woke up, I thought it was 5 a.m.

54:16

Look at thing. It was almost 10 a.m. Yeah. Because

54:18

the blackout curtains were that strong. They knocked us

54:20

out. And I was like, we gotta get up

54:22

because we gotta get into the breakfast buffet before

54:24

the checkout. If you take my home and not

54:27

getting the breakfast, the hamlet bar. Yeah. We rushed

54:29

downstairs, got just inside the omelet bar. Wait, I don't,

54:31

I know we just skipped over the dinner. But do you

54:33

remember that there was lamb in the hummus? Yes.

54:35

Okay, should we bring it up? Okay.

54:38

Yeah, we went to a really fancy

54:40

restaurant. It was nice. This was the

54:42

most, this was the most romance Mrs.

54:45

P and I had had in a

54:47

year. And the entire time, we just

54:49

kept talking about how excited we were

54:52

to go to sleep. Yeah. It wasn't

54:54

like, we weren't like, oh my God,

54:56

it's the two of us for being

54:59

sore, or like, I'm going to sleep

55:01

so snorking. So There was that and

55:03

then we drove home picked up the

55:05

baby and then then a couple days after that

55:08

I had a comedy show Yeah, I opened it

55:10

for my friend Dukey Horner a lot of you

55:12

guys came which thank you so much for all

55:14

the listeners to came and The day after that

55:17

the day after that I woke up sick you

55:19

woke up sick and we all took COVID test

55:21

because we had just gone on big

55:23

parties with multiple big parties. No

55:25

COVID all negative, yeah, but you were

55:27

still very sick. I was very very

55:30

very very sick, and I wasn't feeling

55:32

good. Yeah And I was like, well,

55:34

it's OK. Well, it's fine. I guess

55:36

we're just going to have to go

55:38

through it for a day or

55:40

so. Yeah. We're like, oh, it's

55:42

fine because it was like Friday-ish.

55:45

So we're like, OK, the weekend

55:47

and then Christmas was the

55:49

next week. Yeah. So we're

55:51

like, OK, the weekend. And

55:53

then Christmas was the next

55:55

week. Yeah. So we're like, OK.

55:58

We'll get this done before. to

56:00

buy stuff to bake stuff for all

56:02

the parties. And then that Saturday morning,

56:04

woke up, you were dead in bed.

56:07

So I went and got the babes.

56:09

And I'm looking at the babes, and

56:11

I'm saying, that baby ain't well. Nope.

56:13

That baby is not well. Nope. Turns

56:16

out babes, got chicken pox. Yeah. Pearl

56:18

Babia was covered in the pox. You

56:20

got the pox. He had gotten this

56:23

vaccine. Yep. and he got a breakthrough

56:25

case because it's a live vaccine there's

56:27

like a 1% chance yeah that you

56:29

can get chicken pox from the live

56:32

vaccine yeah and my boy's a 1%er

56:34

yeah so few of the vaccines have

56:36

a little bit of the actual virus

56:39

and yeah and here's the thing this

56:41

is Crazy vaccine people would call this

56:43

a vaccine injury because they're insane and

56:45

they're stupid. Because we come from a

56:48

generation pre-chicken pox vaccine. When I was

56:50

little I got chicken pox. And it

56:52

was great because when you're a kid,

56:55

like there used to be these things

56:57

called chicken pox parties. So when one

56:59

kid would get chicken pox in the

57:01

neighborhood or at the school, parents, when

57:04

their kids were young enough, would then

57:06

make sure their kids played with the

57:08

kid covered in chicken pox. Because the

57:10

idea is you want to get it

57:13

younger. Because when you get it older,

57:15

there's a lot more danger. And one

57:17

thing that happened, I think it was

57:20

with the early 90s, they finally came

57:22

up with a vaccine for the vaccine

57:24

for chicken pox. most part. And so

57:26

if you get the vaccine, what this

57:29

does is it gives you a little

57:31

tiny bit of the virus so then

57:33

your body can build up antibodies to

57:36

it. Because it's the same thing from

57:38

back in the day when you have

57:40

a chicken pox party, the little kid

57:42

would get chicken pox, bing, boom, never

57:45

gonna get chicken pox again. You build

57:47

up that immunity. And so our kid

57:49

gets the shot. And it takes about

57:52

five to seven days and we're right

57:54

there in the window. And why did

57:56

we have our kid get his shot

57:58

right on his birthday? Because I was

58:01

scared RFK Jr. was going to make

58:03

all the vaccines illegal. So I want

58:05

to get them as soon as possible.

58:08

Yes, and then what happened? Our son

58:10

got sick from the vaccine. And so

58:12

I'm like sitting like, what the fuck?

58:14

And so anyway, we're both a huge

58:17

RFK supporters now. Yeah, we're huge into

58:19

a baby. We drink raw milk every

58:21

day. Give me that chunky, monkey. Give

58:24

me that. Fluride in water. Yeah, really.

58:26

Stop in rich in milks. Stop and

58:28

rich in the milks. Anyway, so the

58:30

kid. The kid, the baby. Well, he's

58:33

one now, so now he's a kid.

58:35

Uh, the baby got chicken box. So

58:37

you're dead in bed. I'm dead. I

58:40

look at this child and I go,

58:42

oh my God, I think this is

58:44

chicken box. And then you say, you

58:46

wake me up, so now, what happens

58:49

now, just to give you guys a

58:51

cliff notes, is every day that I'm

58:53

sick, or she's, because then she also

58:56

gets, she also gets the cough that

58:58

I get, that I get, that I

59:00

get, that we tested the cough that

59:02

we tested, that multiple times, that multiple

59:05

times, But it was funny to text

59:07

people, I think Hunter Biden gave me

59:09

COVID. That was, I kept texting people,

59:12

I think Hunter Biden gave me COVID.

59:14

Well, you know what? He just kept

59:16

saying, you're my favorite. But all that

59:18

being said, every day, every day, every

59:21

day I would be like dying and

59:23

be woken up like, maybe that's chicken

59:25

box. I have a fever. So every

59:28

day I've woken up into the most

59:30

stressful situation possible during our. vacation. This

59:32

vacation we're supposed to have. But we

59:34

had to do telehealth. I did the

59:37

telehealth for the baby. Yep. To confirm

59:39

because you know people are like, oh,

59:41

it could be eggs, it could be

59:43

surprises, whatever. And I'm like, I don't

59:46

think so. Could be hoof and mouth

59:48

disease. I was like, I think I

59:50

think I know exactly what this is.

59:53

What I'm looking at. Yeah. And so

59:55

he got confirmed and then we had

59:57

to monitor and take care of the

59:59

situation. Oatmeal baths. Yeah. a lot of

1:00:02

naps and the thing is is and

1:00:04

again he's in bed sick yeah I'm

1:00:06

in bed sick but we don't have

1:00:09

everything prepared so like I would have

1:00:11

to be sick taking care of the

1:00:13

baby because Mrs. P who felt the

1:00:15

healthiest at the time had to run

1:00:18

to the pharmacy or the grocery store.

1:00:20

All these places. I did get all

1:00:22

the pia light and a new thermometer.

1:00:25

Yes. It was a whole thing. I

1:00:27

had to call all of our family

1:00:29

members. Yeah. And cancel Christmas. We had

1:00:31

to cancel Christmas. Christmas was canceled. Why?

1:00:34

Because of wokes. So this is our

1:00:36

new pivot. And two. We're here to

1:00:38

tell you the word true Mecca. No,

1:00:41

we're maha. What's that one? Make America

1:00:43

healthy again. Oh no. That's what the

1:00:45

RFK people call themselves now. That's fucking

1:00:47

insane. Yeah. So yeah, everybody was sick

1:00:50

and then a few days as the

1:00:52

baby was getting better. You started to

1:00:54

get a little better. I started to

1:00:57

get really sick. Yeah. Christmas Day. You,

1:00:59

so right before Christmas, the baby was

1:01:01

starting to get better. His spots were

1:01:03

finally starting to turn. So with chicken

1:01:06

pox, you have these spots kind of

1:01:08

pop up and some of them will

1:01:10

pop, literally like pop like pimples. Don't

1:01:13

get too graphic. They're little blisters. And

1:01:15

then you wait for them to scab

1:01:17

over. Once they scab over, once all

1:01:19

the scabs are scabbed over, the baby

1:01:22

is no longer contagious. So we were

1:01:24

waiting for that moment. Mrs. P. It's

1:01:26

like, my throat hurts, I need to

1:01:29

go lay down. And I said, okay,

1:01:31

it's like 4 p.m. And she goes

1:01:33

to sleep and doesn't wake up until

1:01:35

almost eight. Yeah. And I'm like, that's

1:01:38

not good. And then the next day,

1:01:40

she's like, I feel really, really bad.

1:01:42

I need to go to the doctor.

1:01:45

Because you're like, and I think I

1:01:47

have like a rash. And then she

1:01:49

goes to the doctor. And then she

1:01:51

text me. What did you text me?

1:01:54

That I have chicken pox. But in

1:01:56

where? Oh, well, I mean, I got

1:01:58

it all over my toes, which was

1:02:00

very painful. Yeah, don't recommend. But the

1:02:03

biggest... breakout was in my mouth. Yeah,

1:02:05

and your throat. Yeah, specifically. And I

1:02:07

was like, huh? Yeah. What? I didn't

1:02:10

know the thing. And then I start

1:02:12

looking into like adult chicken pox and

1:02:14

they're like, hey, you might be a

1:02:16

winner or brother. And I'm like, what

1:02:19

on Christmas? It's Christmas? And then Mrs.

1:02:21

P. Dead. Meanwhile, mind you, in the

1:02:23

back of my mind, I'm like, but

1:02:26

we have to recut an intro about

1:02:28

Katie Katie. Because the whole time I'm

1:02:30

sitting here being like, well we need

1:02:32

him, we just need to get, we

1:02:35

just need 15 minutes in the studio.

1:02:37

Yeah. We just need 15 minutes. Just

1:02:39

to say, you're listening to too many

1:02:42

tabs. This is a classic episode where

1:02:44

we cover all about apple cider vinegar

1:02:46

and how Katie Perry killed Steve Jobs.

1:02:48

Do we get to that? No. Still

1:02:51

I still am only at like 70%

1:02:53

because I never really charge it. He's

1:02:55

the captain but now I'm in charge

1:02:58

of everything So I've come up with

1:03:00

a new superhero name, uh-huh, which is

1:03:02

mommy-man mommy-man. Yeah, it's like Superman or

1:03:04

Spider-man mommy-man Mommy-man. He's like Superman or

1:03:07

Spider-man mommy-man Mommy-man Mommy-man Mommy-man Mommy-man Mommy-

1:03:09

had to be Superman Mommy- Anyway, the,

1:03:11

uh, no, it was, it was very,

1:03:14

very, very stressful. Uh, because, is also

1:03:16

during a time when we have said,

1:03:18

like, we're, we're, we're, we're taking a

1:03:20

step back, we're taking a little break.

1:03:23

Yeah. Take a little break, you know.

1:03:25

Yeah, but our break was also so

1:03:27

we could get our ducks in a

1:03:30

row. Yeah. It was a whole thing

1:03:32

is like, okay, we're in take this

1:03:34

week, we're going to relax. I was

1:03:36

at the same time we were going

1:03:39

to get our ducks in a row

1:03:41

so that when we came up in

1:03:43

January, we could be like, all right,

1:03:46

we're going to hit the ground running.

1:03:48

Yeah, we had big plans. We wanted

1:03:50

to make sure we wanted to go

1:03:52

ahead and have three episodes. it's already

1:03:55

researched. I was actually, I bought new

1:03:57

lights for the studio and I've been

1:03:59

doing a lot of different other changes

1:04:02

and so I was actually going to

1:04:04

like start moving around and building out

1:04:06

of actual filming space for us to

1:04:08

make the YouTube side of the podcast

1:04:11

more visually interesting. Yeah. we had meetings

1:04:13

and things we wanted to take there

1:04:15

was all these different things that we

1:04:18

wanted to do kind of off camera

1:04:20

yeah to the side while also like

1:04:22

enjoying our babies first Christmas with his

1:04:24

eyes open yeah I went back and

1:04:27

was looking at pictures like he was

1:04:29

alive during his Christmas last year but

1:04:31

like his eyes weren't even open and

1:04:33

so it's like okay you know this

1:04:36

was gonna be like there was a

1:04:38

lot of things we wanted to do

1:04:40

no couldn't get out of bad this

1:04:43

is a chicken box recording this episode

1:04:45

I want to let you guys know

1:04:47

it has been so physically straining for

1:04:49

us. Every time we've taken a break,

1:04:52

it has been so one of us

1:04:54

could hack up along off camera. And

1:04:56

drink some more Petelay. I'm making a

1:04:59

great Petelay, baby. Yeah. I should get

1:05:01

like the Arizona Ice Tea Jugs of

1:05:03

just purple Petelay. Yeah. There's only like,

1:05:05

I was able to make a couple

1:05:08

videos. Wait, can I tell you real

1:05:10

quick about the lady at the doctor's

1:05:12

office? What you said to me. Go

1:05:15

ahead. So when I wake up. And

1:05:17

I wake up. It was all my

1:05:19

fingertips and in between my toes and

1:05:21

on my scalp and face and I

1:05:24

was like what the fuck because the

1:05:26

thing is I get a rash if

1:05:28

I glue it Yeah, right so like

1:05:31

I know what if I have a

1:05:33

rational and certain parts my body It's

1:05:35

usually on your forearm. It's usually my

1:05:37

forearm. Yeah, and I'm like oh I

1:05:40

must have got cross contaminated somewhere. This

1:05:42

is just a sign that I'm about

1:05:44

to get sick, blah, blah. Yeah. But

1:05:47

so I see these bumpies and I'm

1:05:49

like, this is not in the gluten

1:05:51

area. What is this? Yeah. It was

1:05:53

literally on her fingertips. It was so

1:05:56

crazy. And when she showed me the

1:05:58

bottom of her foot like a couple

1:06:00

days into it, I was like, wait,

1:06:03

every time you got up to help

1:06:05

me change a diaper, you were just

1:06:07

like, what? It, she? Okay, you guys

1:06:09

know when Die Hard? When he doesn't

1:06:12

have shoes and he has to walk

1:06:14

across the glass? Yeah. Mrs. P. is

1:06:16

Die Hard. I live with Mrs. Die

1:06:19

Hard. I am mommy man? Which is

1:06:21

a Christmas movie. I am Mommy man

1:06:23

and this is Mrs. Die Hard. Okay?

1:06:25

So I'm like, I call my doctor,

1:06:28

I can't get through because their office

1:06:30

is closed on the weekend. I leave

1:06:32

a message for the nurse for the

1:06:35

nurse. And then I'm like, you know

1:06:37

what? I'm going to call the local

1:06:39

urgent care because I wanted to get

1:06:41

meds, right? I'm like, I got to

1:06:44

see if I can get antivirals. And

1:06:46

so I call the local urgent care

1:06:48

and I'm like, hey, I think I

1:06:50

have chicken poxly and I was waiting

1:06:53

for the person, I think I was

1:06:55

crazy because the people that thought the

1:06:57

baby is chicken poxalike, like that doesn't

1:07:00

exist anymore. They were like, what are

1:07:02

you talking about? But so the... The

1:07:04

lady was like, oh my God, yeah,

1:07:06

absolutely, here's where you're gonna come in,

1:07:09

we're gonna check you out, blah, blah.

1:07:11

And she's like, I just got over

1:07:13

chicken pox too. And I was like,

1:07:16

oh my God, like, it made me

1:07:18

feel, I was like, okay. This is

1:07:20

a thing people have survived. This is

1:07:22

okay. There are other humans, my age,

1:07:25

that have done this, right? It's really

1:07:27

more our age, because a little bit

1:07:29

younger than us. Typically got blasted by

1:07:32

chicken pox. Yeah, by the time they

1:07:34

were like 13. Yeah, and you just

1:07:36

happen to miss that I guess yeah,

1:07:38

so The I drive there like beep

1:07:41

beep drive because you have to stay

1:07:43

home with the babies and I go

1:07:45

and I get in there and she's

1:07:48

like hey, you're gonna have to go

1:07:50

wait in the virtual waiting room. And

1:07:52

I was like, what's that? She's like

1:07:54

your car So I was like, that's

1:07:57

honestly, great rebrand. I love that. Thank

1:07:59

you so much. But as I'm like

1:08:01

filling out my paperwork, she starts telling

1:08:04

me about how, oh, you're the girl

1:08:06

that called the chicken pox. I just

1:08:08

had chicken pox and I was in

1:08:10

the hospital for five days and blah

1:08:13

blah. And so I was telling me

1:08:15

the most crazy horror story you've ever

1:08:17

heard. My face went sheet white. I

1:08:20

was like, oh my God. She was

1:08:22

describing. me the worst case scenario that

1:08:24

she has survived and I was like

1:08:26

yeah like full pneumonia yeah yeah her

1:08:29

throat closed like what and then she's

1:08:31

like okay go sit in your car

1:08:33

for 30 minutes alone with your thoughts

1:08:36

parking lot that's like oh my god

1:08:38

yeah but yeah it's fine I got

1:08:40

the medicine I've been but but the

1:08:42

doctor even was like you horror person.

1:08:45

You started explaining everything. So then the

1:08:47

baby got sick and the husband's day

1:08:49

and I'm sick and I was just

1:08:52

like, the doctor's like, you're having a

1:08:54

really hard week. And I was like,

1:08:56

we had to cancel Christmas. Yeah. You're

1:08:58

like, we met Hunter Biden and then

1:09:01

everything went sideways. Like much like America.

1:09:03

Much like America. And then, yes, I

1:09:05

just been in bed. and as much

1:09:08

as possible trying to recover from the

1:09:10

chicken pox, at my big age. And

1:09:12

so basically any time you've seen, if

1:09:14

you've been online and you've seen any

1:09:17

content from me, any videos that I

1:09:19

posted, that has been inside of the

1:09:21

window where both Mrs. P and the

1:09:23

baby were asleep. And I was just

1:09:26

like found clearance to be just loud

1:09:28

enough in another room for like 10

1:09:30

minutes for like 10 minutes. And that's

1:09:33

kind of where that is the story

1:09:35

of what we did during winter break.

1:09:37

Yeah. And why my voice sounds like

1:09:39

this because I have yesterday yesterday you

1:09:42

sounded like March Simpson. Yeah you are

1:09:44

you actually while we were recording this

1:09:46

you took your last antiviral. I did

1:09:49

I took my last pill. So we're

1:09:51

hoping we're hoping. Here's the one thing

1:09:53

we've learned. The number one thing we've

1:09:55

learned is that we have to stop

1:09:58

saying tomorrow will be healthy Because we've

1:10:00

done that multiple times we're like tomorrow

1:10:02

I'm gonna I was like tomorrow. I'm

1:10:05

gonna wake up. I'm gonna feel so

1:10:07

good. I'm gonna do this this and

1:10:09

in reality what is happening I wake

1:10:11

up and I go maybe you should

1:10:14

download the insta cart. I don't think

1:10:16

I can go to the groceries What's

1:10:18

basically happened is every every three day

1:10:21

a different illness has been transferred to

1:10:23

a different member. So we have three

1:10:25

people, each of which have something different.

1:10:27

I had some sort of cough sinus

1:10:30

thing. You had a different one because

1:10:32

yours initially, you never had the post

1:10:34

nasal that I had. And so you

1:10:37

had a different one and then the

1:10:39

baby had chicken pox. And so we've

1:10:41

just been moving these around and. Random

1:10:43

transition for you guys We just lost

1:10:46

power. Yeah, I'm literally using a backup

1:10:48

battery on my floor I don't know

1:10:50

how much of this episode's even saveable

1:10:53

now This we've worked so hard to

1:10:55

get this episode together and we're like

1:10:57

we're doing it. We're recording it blah

1:10:59

blah blah and every light in this

1:11:02

house went out the computer went out

1:11:04

and we both just kind of stared

1:11:06

each other like we might it might

1:11:09

be over So as we said at

1:11:11

the beginning of the episode, we're barely

1:11:13

back. We're somehow actually less back now

1:11:15

than we were starting off. We're losing

1:11:18

our minds. Are you going to show

1:11:20

it? I don't know if I can

1:11:22

lift it up high enough. It's a

1:11:25

jackery 1000 watt battery. Then I bought

1:11:27

a while ago when we lost power

1:11:29

multiple times. But legit. We're just like,

1:11:31

wait, did our house, was at our

1:11:34

house, because again, old house. Yeah. Did

1:11:36

our house just break? But then all

1:11:38

of a sudden all of the apps

1:11:40

on my phone that were all like

1:11:43

neighborhood based are all like did everyone

1:11:45

else lose power? I'm like okay cool.

1:11:47

Yeah. Jesus Christ. So we almost lost

1:11:50

all that because you just kept started

1:11:52

mumbling I don't know if I saved.

1:11:54

I don't know if I saved. I

1:11:56

don't know if I saved. Yeah. I

1:11:59

don't know if we just lose 20

1:12:01

minutes. Did we lose everything? But anyway,

1:12:03

the last thing we said was basically

1:12:06

we've been trading around illnesses and now

1:12:08

we don't have power. Now we don't

1:12:10

have power. Things are going really well.

1:12:12

Yeah. I didn't even get into the

1:12:15

mag of civil war. Oh, right. There

1:12:17

was a whole thing. We want to

1:12:19

talk about mag of civil war and

1:12:22

say RIP Jimmy Carter. Yeah. A lot

1:12:24

of things happened. There's so many things

1:12:26

that are going on. But who gives

1:12:28

a shit? I don't. I don't have

1:12:31

a cook dinner. I don't know. I

1:12:33

don't listen. We're going to figure it

1:12:35

the most important thing that happened yesterday.

1:12:38

What's that? Which is when I went

1:12:40

to drop the baby off I was

1:12:42

like very excited because I was gonna

1:12:44

get a burrito and Right before I

1:12:47

left the house I was like, oh,

1:12:49

let me go use the bathroom request

1:12:51

and I cannot believe you're about to

1:12:54

tell the story Honestly now that we

1:12:56

lost power. Yeah, I'll admit it I

1:12:58

was about to leave the house to

1:13:00

get a burrito, but right before I

1:13:03

walked out the door I shit my

1:13:05

pants That's how we're closed out. That's

1:13:07

how that's how 2024 2024 ended 2024

1:13:10

ended with me shitting my pants and

1:13:12

2025 has been Legit y'all. I can't

1:13:14

stress every time we said we're gonna

1:13:16

take a quick break The reason we've

1:13:19

said we're gonna take a break is

1:13:21

because one of us has looked each

1:13:23

other And it's been like we're about

1:13:26

to cough our fucking brains out and

1:13:28

I'm tired of I'm tired of editing

1:13:30

out of the episodes Yeah, listen I

1:13:32

love you we I love you and

1:13:35

I love our listeners and we're trying

1:13:37

our best we're trying so hard so

1:13:39

this has been This is the most

1:13:42

chaotic episode we've ever tried to do.

1:13:44

And it's not even about the topic.

1:13:46

What topic? What was the topic? That's

1:13:48

what I mean. Us. The topic was

1:13:51

us. We're the topic. We're the topic.

1:13:53

We're the topic. Y'all are great. Guys,

1:13:55

I hope you had a great holiday.

1:13:58

You know, I hope you had a

1:14:00

great time with your family. and that

1:14:02

it was lovely and you got to

1:14:04

relax and you got to be chill

1:14:07

and vibe out and eat lots and

1:14:09

lots of cookies and all the fun

1:14:11

things I hope that for you and

1:14:13

this next year We're going to be

1:14:16

chill. We're going to keep our sense

1:14:18

of humor about what's ahead of us.

1:14:20

And we're going to keep a positive

1:14:23

attitude. I'm sitting in the dark. It's

1:14:25

not true. We have your... I have

1:14:27

my one influencer light. I'm running an

1:14:29

influencer light off a USB. It's the

1:14:32

only light we have in the room

1:14:34

right now. We're doing fine. Are we?

1:14:36

Yeah. Okay. Well. Give the people something

1:14:39

nice to end the episode with. We

1:14:41

probably should put a thing in. Okay,

1:14:43

if you made it to the end

1:14:45

of the episode, just right, I hope

1:14:48

you all are doing okay. That's, that

1:14:50

should be the, it's so hard. It's

1:14:52

so bad. I can hear, there's so

1:14:55

many. I'm so sorry. Your usual asthmatic

1:14:57

laugh is like pretty good. Yeah. It's,

1:14:59

it's, you're getting into like the dog

1:15:01

from, wacky races. You know the one?

1:15:04

Snidley Whiplash's dog. Anyway, getting those comments

1:15:06

right, I hope you're doing okay. And

1:15:08

we hope y'all are doing okay too.

1:15:11

Have a great week everybody. Too many

1:15:13

frauds and too many scammers that we

1:15:15

wish weren't real. Too many comms and

1:15:17

too many spammers and we're starting to

1:15:20

feel like we've got too many times.

1:15:22

Open it's too many times. Remember to

1:15:24

smile. If

1:15:30

you have a

1:15:32

locked AT&T phone,

1:15:34

we're here with

1:15:36

bolt cutters. T-Mobile

1:15:38

will help pay

1:15:40

off your locked

1:15:42

phone and give

1:15:44

you a new

1:15:46

5G phone for

1:15:49

free, all on

1:15:51

America's largest 5G

1:15:53

network. This is

1:15:55

T-Mobile.com/carrier freedom. Be

1:15:57

a Virtual. to

1:16:00

climb out for the best day ever. Visiting

1:16:02

the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're

1:16:04

insured by specialists and sharing a strawberry ice

1:16:07

cream cone together, the clam would not feel

1:16:09

happy. And your strawberry cone would taste sort

1:16:11

of clammy. Gyco's motorcycle specialists who know bikes

1:16:13

like you to assume no liability for clammy

1:16:15

ice cream cones. Gyco, expertise for your motorcycle.

1:16:18

Marketing is hard. But I'll tell you a little.