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Just go to patreon.com slash top flag

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time machine. Find out more. Here we

0:23

go, here we go, here we go,

0:25

here we go, this is it. This

0:28

is Top Flight Time Machine. Hi, I'm

0:30

Andy Hubbody Dawson. Pow, pow, pow. I'm

0:32

Sam Nifty Delaney. So what? Well, come

0:34

on, it's your Friday morning episode. It

0:37

comes to you on a Thursday evening

0:39

if you're an IFS subscriber. Full

0:41

disclosure, we're recording

0:44

this one on Wednesday

0:46

late afternoon. Yeah. Because

0:48

of various reasons. Various

0:50

reasons which are to do

0:52

with... Our busy lifestyles. The

0:54

Easter brick. It's

0:56

the Easter break, isn't it?

0:58

We have commitments. Who was

1:01

it who said that they had a busy lifestyle?

1:03

Do you remember that? So

1:05

I went, I cannot honor this

1:07

due to my busy lifestyle. I

1:10

can't remember who it was. Wasn't

1:12

Roy Reis, was it? No, it was

1:14

something to do with football. Oh,

1:17

it a Liverpool fan. It was

1:19

a Liverpool fan when Klopp resigned. And

1:21

do you remember the Scalcelation? It

1:23

became so emotional. He's

1:27

a piece of instant Liverpool.

1:30

I don't know if I'll ever be able to carry on. Of

1:33

course, 90 % of

1:36

these Liverpool fans who,

1:38

like, do the whole

1:40

kind of performative emotion

1:42

and sentimentality barely ever go

1:44

to Anfield. Like, they might

1:46

go, like, once in a bloomer. So

1:48

they're cosplaying football fandom. And

1:51

the reason I bring it up

1:53

is that they've done the same

1:55

recently about... You know that desktop

1:57

town? It's like, what fucking difference

1:59

did it make to you? You watch

2:01

it on telly, there's literally no difference

2:04

between if your favourite cast member leaves

2:06

Coronation Street. Do you cry then? Do

2:08

you know what I mean? Grow up. I

2:10

don't know if it's like cliche

2:13

almost, but is there the same level

2:15

of that kind of behaviour from

2:17

Everton fans? No. Not that it just

2:19

a Liverpool thing? No. Same city.

2:21

Same city, I don't know. Let's not,

2:23

you know, if you're growing up

2:25

and you're not living in Liverpool and

2:27

you're not, Liverpool's not part of

2:29

your, you know, whatever, you

2:31

know, then what attracts you to

2:33

Liverpool? Do you know I mean? What

2:35

attracts you? can choose any club.

2:38

If you're not going to choose your

2:40

local club, you can choose any

2:42

club and there's all different reasons, but

2:44

one the things that might make

2:46

Liverpool appealing is the sort of mawkish

2:48

faux sentimentality and kind of Disney -fied

2:50

romance that surrounds it. And so

2:53

you might already be predisposed to that

2:55

kind of thing. Do you know

2:57

what I mean? Yeah. Self

2:59

romanticism, being performative, all

3:01

that sort of stuff. And so

3:03

that's why you sign up with them in the

3:05

first place. Sunderland's got

3:07

a famous fan who isn't from

3:09

Sunderland. Yeah. uh, none other than Sir

3:12

Tim Rice, lyricist of many, many

3:14

Andrew Lloyd River musicals. That didn't, am

3:16

I rhyming in he used to

3:18

be in the early eighties top boy

3:20

in your firm? Not

3:22

pretty much was. It, it

3:24

was kind of, he wasn't,

3:26

he didn't get involved week in, week out because

3:29

he didn't live near by, but when he

3:31

did, he had a busy lifestyle. He had a

3:33

busy lifestyle. But when he did, when he

3:35

did turn up, fucking hell he led from the

3:37

front. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah,

3:39

it was first. They used to say about him,

3:41

he's game. That's the thing about, he's

3:43

not going around saying he's the hardest

3:46

cunt in town, but he's the gamest cunt

3:48

and he'll be there at the front

3:50

no matter what. He was

3:52

always on the front foot. He's

3:54

always shouting. No retreat, no

3:56

surrender, that was his thing. I think

3:58

he had that tattoo. He had the

4:01

Sunderland badge and underneath it

4:03

he had tattooed, no retreat,

4:05

no surrender. Yeah, that's

4:07

exactly right. But his origin

4:09

story was that he was at school and all

4:11

of the other boys in his form, or

4:13

I think he might have been boarding school, all

4:15

of the other boys had a team and

4:18

he didn't have a team so he got the

4:20

newspaper out and he looked at the league

4:22

table and he just tried to pick a team

4:24

out and he saw in the league table

4:26

Sunderland and he thought, that sounds like a nice

4:28

place, Sunderland. That sounds bright and Jolly, which

4:30

of course you've been recently, you fucking know who

4:32

he is. And he

4:34

picked They picked Sondland just because of

4:37

that reason. Well, I think it's fine.

4:39

I mean, there's different reasons that people

4:41

select their clubs. And I'm not for

4:43

a moment thinking that every Liverpool fan

4:45

supports it for that reason. But there

4:47

must be a reason why Liverpool fans

4:49

behave in that way and Everton fans

4:51

don't. It can't necessarily be a scoused

4:53

thing. Yeah, but

4:55

maybe if they haven't got some

4:57

success or if they do when

4:59

they get their new stadium then

5:01

we might see the opinions and

5:03

Attitude shift, but I don't know.

5:05

I don't even know how I

5:07

got it I remember of all

5:09

the funny messages Yeah, yeah I

5:12

was a fan of Jurgen Klopp's and he

5:14

was a great manager so I can understand

5:16

why they felt attached to him but it

5:18

was just, it's funny more than a thing

5:20

like that how over the top grown men

5:22

go and he wrote this long message on

5:24

Twitter to Jurgen Klopp, you know,

5:26

direct. What do they got? An open address.

5:29

An open letter. You

5:32

and the things you've done

5:34

for this club. Alice? Alice

5:37

community, and me personally,

5:39

will never be forgotten. And

5:41

then it just goes, as you know

5:43

Jürgen, right? Like a load of

5:45

like sort of contrived familiarity, because

5:47

he probably bumped into him once

5:49

in a bar, right? As you know,

5:52

I don't get along to the

5:54

games very often due to my

5:56

busy lifestyle. And

5:59

I'm sure that we talked about

6:01

having t -shirts with busy lifestyle

6:03

written on them, which would be

6:05

good, wouldn't it? it would

6:07

be brilliant but I mean I didn't

6:09

even get to the point where

6:11

I was gonna make where I said

6:13

that I am currently sat in

6:16

the car park of a service station

6:18

on the M1 because of the

6:20

busyness of our lifestyles this week in

6:22

and around the Easter Brick I

6:24

am at Woolly Edge Northbound on the

6:27

M1 Sam I can give you

6:29

a little bit of information about

6:31

Woolly Edge if you'd like from its

6:33

website I'm

6:35

gonna say the fucking 5G

6:37

here is phenomenal 200 megabytes

6:39

per second. It's better than

6:41

what you've got. I'm telling

6:43

you for nothing if you

6:45

want the three word Navigation

6:48

system for where I'm exactly

6:50

parked it can come and

6:52

put a blue plaque here

6:54

one day maybe it is

6:56

umbrella completed Task now you

6:58

don't often get two words

7:00

in this three what three

7:02

words thing that actually make

7:04

A phrase, he's looking it up,

7:06

he's looking it up. Completed

7:08

task. They're usually three

7:11

completely random words, I believe. But

7:14

this actually makes it a

7:16

cogent sentence. It makes sense.

7:19

Yeah. It stopped ringing,

7:21

for example. I've put the umbrella

7:23

away. Umbrella completed task. So

7:26

that's where I am. Are you looking it up? Yeah,

7:28

but I don't know how to. I've just

7:30

typed into Google. I fucking

7:32

thrown Google, complete Google. Stop looking at

7:34

me like what the fuck am I supposed

7:36

to do with that? I

7:38

think you've got to go on the

7:40

What Three Words website. Or you've got to

7:42

put three forward slashes and then put

7:44

it in. And then with a full stop

7:46

after each word. I'm going to

7:49

do this. I'm sure the kids are doing it

7:51

at home as they're listening right now. Yeah. To

7:54

get an indication of where I slashes have

7:56

to do? Oh yeah, three. Slash, slash, slash. Slash,

7:58

slash, slash. How do you

8:00

spell umbrella? U -M

8:03

-B -R -E, out

8:05

earlier.com, that's full

8:07

stop. Completed

8:10

.task. Full

8:12

stop at the end. Oh,

8:14

here we go. Near Woodley, West Yorkshire.

8:16

West Yorkshire, so you're not that far

8:18

away from where you started. Yeah,

8:21

I've just come about half an hour

8:23

out of Sheffield after being down in

8:25

London to record with Bob for about

8:27

45 minutes. It's been quite a

8:29

day. Oh, you down to London,

8:31

you went to Sheffield, then London, and

8:33

now your way Yeah, then back again. I've

8:36

missed two sessions of snooker that

8:38

I had planned to watch, but

8:40

you know, work comes first. Woolly

8:43

Edge, Northbound, we've got a Costa.

8:45

Yeah, Costa, yeah. Exactly. Acosta,

8:47

a Burger King, a W .H. Smith,

8:50

Acosta Express within the W .H. Smith,

8:52

a Krispy Kreme within the W .H.

8:54

Smith, a Greggs, a Greggs that's shut

8:56

at 7 p .m. A

8:58

BP and right next

9:00

door is a travel lodge.

9:02

Everything you could possibly

9:04

need for a long weekend

9:06

or even longer is

9:09

here. Have you ever stayed

9:11

at a services travel

9:13

lodge or other hotel? I

9:17

don't think I have, I stayed at

9:19

one in Carlisle once, which is kind

9:21

of just off the motorway, but I

9:24

don't think the service is there, not

9:26

sure. Have you? No, but

9:28

it's an ambition of mine. I

9:30

don't like the term bucket list,

9:32

because it sounds a bit cunt

9:34

-y, but it is on my

9:36

list of life goals. Yeah, we

9:38

should perhaps do that together. I

9:40

mean, to be honest, the one

9:42

in Hartnell is not It's got

9:44

that kind of vibe, it's not

9:46

quite a service this one, but

9:48

it's got kind of a roadside

9:50

vibe, a motel vibe to it,

9:52

hasn't it? And I

9:54

stayed at one in

9:57

Kingslin, I think it's

9:59

called, when I

10:01

went to view my dog a

10:03

cookie, when I did the pre

10:05

-purchase viewing. Dog

10:07

viewing. and

10:10

that was sort of, yeah, it was on

10:12

a roundabout, but it wasn't a full motorway service

10:14

this one. Those are the ones that intrigue

10:16

me. Do you know I mean?

10:18

Because he wondered, don't you, what's going on

10:20

in these places? Like, what

10:22

sort of liaisons are taking place?

10:24

What kind of activities are going closed

10:27

doors, yeah. These walls are thin. I

10:29

should just say there's an octopus

10:31

energy van, which is just pulled up.

10:34

Oh yeah. And sitting on the

10:36

dashboard in the front of it is

10:38

a big, Pink furry octopus, which

10:40

I believe is in keeping with there.

10:42

We're actually quite wacky I do,

10:44

I'm with Octopus Energy since I moved.

10:46

I am as well. And their

10:48

branding might be irritating and you'd go

10:50

as far as saying infantile, but

10:52

you cannot argue with their prices, mate.

10:56

Yeah, they're all right. And the times

10:58

we live in when energy prices

11:00

are through the roof, Octopus are doing

11:02

us, you know, I think they're

11:04

doing us good deals. Should

11:06

we put a thing out on

11:08

our social media with the referral

11:10

thing where we get like 50

11:12

quid every time someone signs up?

11:14

I don't know. I've never known

11:17

how that works, but I like

11:19

the idea of doing it. Yeah

11:21

50 pounds worth free Gus gets

11:23

a lot of sign up So

11:25

that's just pulled up as usual

11:27

I'm parked quite far away

11:29

from the entrance to the services and the travel

11:31

lodge so I can get a good view. I'm

11:34

scanning basically. I'm

11:36

car park scanning. It's

11:38

not a sad occasion. Oh, the Pope died. But

11:40

that was about two days ago, so

11:42

we're not using that as an excuse

11:44

to sit in the services, because you're

11:46

in your house as well, so that

11:48

doesn't matter. Octopus

11:51

van also got going

11:53

on, an incredibly long

11:55

trailer for removing broken

11:57

down cars. Brian

12:00

James trailers, Brian James

12:02

formerly of The Damned. Now

12:04

in the trailer game. Now in the

12:06

trailer game. Once the

12:08

punk money dried up, he

12:10

got it in the trailer game.

12:12

It feels like a Stan

12:14

Hay production from the 80s called

12:16

The Trailer Game. And it's

12:18

about a former punk rocker like

12:20

Star, who's now had to

12:23

rebuild his career, maybe following a

12:25

divorce, an expensive divorce,

12:27

let's say. Expensive divorce.

12:29

And he inherited by

12:31

complete surprise, he inherited a

12:33

trailer company from his estranged father,

12:35

who he hadn't seen in

12:37

years, but who bequeathed it to

12:40

him on his deathbed. And

12:42

now, so it's a little

12:44

bit like Boone, slightly like

12:46

Lovejoy, because it gets him

12:49

into, weirdly, being in the

12:51

trailer game, gets him into

12:53

crime -solving situations. Yeah,

12:55

it'll be really good. It'll be really

12:57

good. If we weren't living

12:59

in walk 21st century Britain, it's

13:01

got absolutely no chance of getting commissioned.

13:04

A cheeky young sidekick, wouldn't he? Right,

13:06

who was handy in a fight. And

13:09

then he'd have a sexy love interest,

13:11

who wore a leather jacket. Let's say Mark

13:13

Farmer, formerly the Grinch Hill and occasionally

13:15

of Minder, would be the excellent sidekick for

13:17

him. I don't know who

13:19

the sexy... Like Leslie Ash, let's say

13:21

Leslie Ash. Or maybe one of the

13:23

other ones of Grinch Hill. Yeah,

13:27

not Suzanne Tully. No,

13:30

God, no. Joe,

13:32

Suzanne Tully could direct it. She's

13:34

a great director. She'll direct

13:36

it, yeah. Yeah. Good

13:39

for her. She's moved away

13:41

from acting and got it in the

13:43

director and she's brilliant at it. Yeah. If

13:45

you're listening to Susan, great

13:47

stuff. Well,

13:50

anyway, I feel like it's probably,

13:52

I feel that it's probably, I

13:54

mean maybe Trisha Yates, I don't

13:56

know. Georgia

13:58

Mayfoot, although she came into

14:00

it more in the

14:03

later era. Yeah,

14:05

one of the little Cully. Cully. She

14:07

was quite fit. Yes, yeah.

14:09

She's hung around with Gonch. Yeah,

14:12

yeah. Okay, so anyway, that be

14:14

it and they get involved

14:16

in weirdly whilst doing just their

14:18

trailer activities they're always getting

14:20

involved on a freelance basis with

14:22

crime and with the younger

14:24

woman he's got a will they

14:26

won't lay situation going on

14:28

i want to say she rides

14:30

a motorbike because she's like

14:32

a kind of a she's got

14:34

a susie quattro vibe about

14:36

her she wears leathers and rides

14:38

a motorbike and doesn't take

14:40

any of his sexy shit Sometimes

14:43

she'll just ride the motorbike up on

14:45

one of the trailers and get a

14:48

free lift wherever they're going. There's always

14:50

a classic bit where she removes her

14:52

helmet and shakes out her hair. Shakes

14:54

her hair. Yeah. Well,

14:56

of course, we know how to name

14:58

these characters because it's our time -honoured character

15:00

naming system, which we haven't used in a

15:02

while, but for the hell of it,

15:04

let's see as in the

15:06

trailer game right here and now. It's

15:09

a name beginning, a Christian name beginning

15:12

with Jay followed by A place name. A

15:14

place name. Can I just

15:16

put forward a suggestion for the

15:18

love interest? Julie

15:21

Thornton. Julie Thornton. There you

15:23

go. Fucking perfect. What

15:27

about her main character? The

15:29

main character. I

15:32

suppose you're looking at

15:34

Joey. Now Joey's the

15:36

younger bloke in it. John? Johnny? John

15:39

maybe just John Johnny may

15:41

just John maybe just former punk

15:43

Johnny Johnny rotten was a

15:45

punk wasn't it? Yeah, he

15:47

had his he had his punk

15:49

name, right? Which would have been

15:51

probably like Johnny saliva or something

15:53

like that. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah,

15:55

but now he goes by his

15:57

rip because sometimes they'll be since

15:59

going here. I recognize you from

16:01

somewhere. I remember I saw you

16:03

I saw you at the Town

16:05

and Country Club back in 78.

16:07

Johnny Saliva. Yeah. Oh, that was

16:09

a long time ago. hey, hey. I'm

16:12

quite near Wakefield. I'm not going to

16:14

go with John Wakefield. John Wakefield, formerly

16:16

Johnny Saliva. And then you

16:18

got Joey, the young, cheeky,

16:21

fresh face sidekick. Go

16:23

on, you can put the place near where you're

16:25

at. Woolly, where are you, Woolly Edge? That's not

16:27

going to work. And Woolly Edge, it's near... Er,

16:30

Newarkfield, yeah. You can pick

16:32

one, anywhere. All right. Joey. Er...

16:35

Joey Belfast, no. Erm...

16:38

Joey... It's hard, isn't it? Joey

16:41

Worthing. Joey

16:44

Worthing, that's good. That's good.

16:47

Yeah. So there

16:49

it is, that's the trailer game. Coming

16:51

soon to IT, the 13 -part series.

16:53

Team Tune, bye. Joe

16:56

Fagan? Joe Fagan. Yeah,

16:59

they're late. You're faking

17:01

that's the trailer game

17:04

The trailer game the

17:06

hardest game in the

17:08

world. Oh, yeah Brilliant

17:10

So that's the trailer game

17:12

getting back to woolly edge. There's

17:14

facilities here as well. It

17:17

says facilities to brighten up your

17:19

day On a scale of

17:21

one to ten tell me how

17:23

much your day would be

17:25

brightened up by these facilities so

17:27

accommodation Yeah,

17:31

I'd give that a seven. Baby

17:34

changing. One. Disabled

17:38

toilets. Sorry, no offence to

17:40

the disabled community. I'm not disabled, therefore

17:42

I would give it a one. Or

17:45

you could just recuse yourself from that one if you

17:47

want. What do you mean recuse?

17:49

affect you. Remove myself from it. I

17:51

don't have a baby either, so I

17:53

recuse myself from both of them. Okay.

17:56

James toilets. The

17:59

disabled bogs. No, I won't

18:01

say what I'm going to do.

18:04

They're spacious, you can use them for all

18:06

sorts of things, but you shouldn't, unless

18:08

you're disabled, you're taking up space. It

18:10

could be the ones where you've got to have a

18:12

special key to get in them as well, probably are. You

18:15

can buy those keys on eBay, by the way. Oh

18:17

brilliant. But you shouldn't. But

18:19

you shouldn't. Unless you actually

18:21

need one. Gens

18:23

toilets. Ah,

18:25

six. It's not gonna

18:27

brighten up your day, is it? Ladies toilets. Ah,

18:31

recoups, recoups,

18:33

recoups. Wifi. Eight.

18:38

I mean, the wifi's probably worse than the 5G.

18:40

I haven't been in and tested it. Showers. Oh,

18:43

no. See, I'm

18:45

interested in intrigue by

18:48

accommodation, but just

18:50

independent freelance showers at the

18:52

roadside. No, three. No.

18:55

Yeah. Electric vehicle

18:57

charging. Well, I now

18:59

have a hybrid car, so

19:01

that probably would

19:03

interest me somewhat,

19:06

although I've been struggling with

19:08

it. But I'll give that a

19:10

seven. I mean,

19:13

they try to plug it into the mains in the

19:15

house. Can't be doing all sorts of weird shit. The

19:18

problem is Andy, as you can

19:20

probably imagine, I just haven't bothered actually

19:22

reading the instructions or listening to the

19:24

salesman or anything like that. I just...

19:26

Alright, half electric is it? Yeah, that'd

19:28

probably believe it would be. I'll work

19:30

it out. And since

19:32

then, there's been all sorts of problems

19:34

and issues whilst I've been on

19:37

road. Marvelous.

19:40

Changing places. I

19:42

don't know what that's for. Just

19:45

changing someone else. just in case.

19:48

Just as well.

19:50

Gaming. Gaming

19:53

is represented by

19:55

two poker chips.

19:59

So I think it's over at In Gaming. So

20:02

that's a wooly

20:04

edge for you. Free

20:07

parking up to two hours maximum.

20:10

The site manager is Sarah

20:12

Jane McRobbie and there's a

20:14

telephone number and a 24

20:17

hour customer service manager number

20:19

as well which I won't

20:21

give out or I won't

20:23

attempt to call either because

20:25

I have no I don't

20:28

have any issues but that

20:30

says the bottom our purpose

20:32

is to brighten people's journeys

20:34

through life okay Nice,

20:37

nice. At the bottom, there's a

20:39

modern slavery statement on their website. I

20:41

don't think I need to go

20:43

into that. I assume it means that

20:45

the statement is that they're against

20:47

modern slavery. Yeah,

20:49

let's hope so. One can only

20:51

hope so. As

20:53

are we. We

20:55

are one of... Proudly

20:57

supporting human slavery

20:59

since 1962. Yeah.

21:03

Yeah, in all its forms. Bring

21:07

back slavery. Are

21:11

you looking to drop off some

21:13

lads that you've brought over from Albania

21:15

and hand them on to their

21:17

next destination where they will be

21:19

stripped of their passports and forced to

21:22

work and forced to work in

21:24

a mobile car wash for the

21:26

foreseeable future. Woolly Edge is the place

21:28

for you. We

21:30

operate under our own laws and

21:32

old jurisdictions. We are

21:34

outside of the

21:37

Westminster Jurisdictive Zone.

21:40

The independent Republic of Woolly Edge

21:42

is here for all your needs. Yeah,

21:46

so there we are. There's not a lot going

21:48

on. It's quite quiet actually. It's quite sunny out

21:50

there. It's very gloomy here in London, but I can

21:52

see out your window. It looks quite sunny there. Yeah.

21:55

Oh yeah it was raining when I

21:57

was in London at like half 11

21:59

this morning and I've got back to

22:02

Sheffield and onwards and it's very very

22:04

bright and sunny. I'm actually facing the

22:06

sun in order to be able to

22:08

witness what's going on so I'm putting

22:10

myself under a lot of pressure I

22:12

guess is the word just to be

22:14

able to report here from Wally Edge

22:17

but there's not a lot happening to

22:19

be quite honest. Jalapeno

22:24

Jalapeno. He got anything, he got anything.

22:26

Help us out here. A couple of

22:29

things. Yeah. Went

22:31

to a local tailor today to get

22:33

some jeans taken up. A

22:35

tailor? tailor. And

22:38

Syrian bloke, half

22:40

Syrian, half Italian. In

22:43

the window. I think I might have told you when I first

22:45

moved in but I hadn't been in there yet. I just spotted

22:47

it in the window. He's got a picture of half a daily.

22:50

Says this is where

22:52

the Half a day these

22:54

legendary Crombie was made Wow, so

22:56

that's I've been looking for an

22:58

excuse to go there and I

23:00

bought pair of jeans I think

23:02

it I haven't worn because they're

23:04

way too long and For deliberately

23:06

bought them because they were too

23:08

long, huh? You

23:10

deliberately bought them because they were to on I

23:13

thought this will give me an excuse to go

23:15

to that tailors Yeah, I've gone in exactly and

23:17

he's gone I said take two inches off these

23:19

he goes now go out the back try them

23:21

on and yeah, so I

23:23

said he goes I want to

23:26

roll them up and see so alright

23:28

So I go back there. He's

23:30

the expert. He comes in starts rolling

23:32

them up while he's crouched down

23:34

beneath me I look down. He's an

23:36

old fella and I go so

23:38

Let's cut straight to it. You made

23:40

Arthur Daley's Cromby. He looked at

23:42

me goes. Yes, of course Then I

23:45

don't know why but I just

23:47

said to him where are you from

23:49

originally? Do you think that sounds

23:51

a bit racist? It's only because

23:53

he had a very thick foreign accent that

23:55

I was interested in. He said I'm half

23:57

Italian, half Syrian. Where

23:59

are your parents from maybe? I

24:02

knew he wasn't born and bred

24:04

in England in London because he

24:06

had a very strong accent. You

24:09

can't assume though can you? Well anyway, luckily

24:12

for me he didn't take offence or

24:14

maybe he did but he told me was

24:16

half Syrian, half Italian. He said he'd

24:18

grown up in Syria. And

24:20

then he went, and not

24:22

just half a daily, my

24:24

friend, James Bond Octopussy,

24:26

too. Right? Then

24:28

out comes the folder. Fucking

24:31

brilliant. He said, are you in the film

24:33

business? I said, no. I mean,

24:35

it's only a tiny little shop. I mean, it's nothing

24:37

fancy at all. You know, just in my little kind

24:39

of suburb. And I go, no, I'm

24:41

a journalist, though. And I sometimes write about

24:43

things like films and TV. And he went,

24:45

right, well, I'll go and get my folder.

24:47

Gets his folder. starts going through

24:50

some of the original sketches. to establish

24:52

your... He wanted to establish your bona fides

24:54

before you got the folder. Yeah. Not

24:57

maybe before I wanted to do

24:59

a story. And who knows, maybe I

25:01

will. Yeah, well, exactly. Yeah, you're

25:03

past the test. You are from the

25:06

media. And he goes... He goes...

25:08

He's got sketches of the outfits he

25:10

made for the new Avengers. Fuck.

25:13

Yeah. Do you want

25:15

it or not? And he showed

25:17

me outfits from 80 Boy,

25:20

the geezer, with the bowler

25:22

hat. Steed.

25:25

Yeah, that's it, Patrick McNeigh. like,

25:27

yeah, it's Patrick McNeigh, I make him this

25:29

suit. Then he's like...

25:31

Then he's got a jacket, he's

25:33

got Octopussy, Roger Moore sat at

25:36

the old poker table in

25:38

a white tux. A couple

25:40

of Indian lads, like, waiters sat behind him, he

25:42

goes, all three of those jackets, made

25:44

him. Fucking hell.

25:46

I was pretty I felt embarrassed because

25:48

I said take two inches off these jeans

25:50

and here's another pair of jeans I

25:52

said the zip keeps coming undone the flies.

25:54

Oh, I said whenever I know I

25:56

like these jeans But I can't wear them

25:58

because I'm always flying. No sticking you

26:00

zipping. Do you know what he did? It's

26:03

bit embarrassing really. He had a little

26:05

play around with the zip. I wasn't wearing

26:07

them. I wasn't wearing them and he

26:09

goes Yeah, save your money. There's nothing wrong

26:11

with this zip And I said, back,

26:13

I ain't folding that dad! And he goes,

26:15

yes, because you probably only wear button

26:17

flies on your jeans usually. And I go,

26:19

yeah, that's right, but I've got these

26:21

ones off vinted and they zip up. I'm

26:23

not used to it. He goes, yeah,

26:25

you've got to click, you've got to lock

26:27

the zip into place once you zip

26:29

yourself up. At the top, pull it down

26:32

a bit here. Yeah, he goes, you

26:34

might be going for a P, for example.

26:36

He goes, you said, he said, we

26:38

all live busy lives, busy lifestyle

26:41

coming back. He goes, you'll finish your

26:43

week. Yeah, he did say all

26:45

whatever. And I thought to myself, it

26:47

ain't about. If you're

26:49

saying I'm the sort of weirdo

26:51

who just unzips my flies for

26:53

a wink and just pops it

26:55

out through the hole, no. Just

26:58

because I've seen the fall, I don't get

27:00

over fucking familiar. Don't

27:02

start speculating about my technique. Yeah.

27:07

Yeah, he just told me I was doing a zip wrong, which

27:09

is bit embarrassing. I'm a 50 -year -old man. He had to

27:11

tell me how to zip me flies up properly. He sent me

27:13

on my way, said, don't waste your money. He

27:15

goes, go on, take those

27:17

home and just start zipping them

27:19

up properly. And these other ones,

27:21

I'll take them up two inches. I'll try and

27:23

get them back to you tomorrow. But after that, I'm

27:25

in Japan for two and a half weeks. I

27:27

thought, fucking hell, power played. Lucky

27:29

cunt. Yeah, I was quite

27:31

excited and impressed by that whole

27:34

experience to be honest. It's

27:36

brilliant. Good stuff. Good

27:39

reputation. The other funny

27:41

thing that happened just this

27:43

afternoon was Len is

27:45

bringing back Earth Tournament. This

27:48

summer. Oh, I got an email about

27:50

this. Yeah, I'm subscribed. Yeah, uh -huh.

27:52

It's gonna be good. He's got he's

27:54

done some branding. There's a lot he's

27:56

not really, you know Disgusting much other

27:58

than nostalgically from time to time remember.

28:00

Yeah, remember he taught some we both

28:02

talk a lot about the 2019 earth

28:04

tournament I don't if you remember the

28:06

one The one where they were in

28:08

Mexico and they had to camp in

28:11

the woods and the camp in the

28:13

forest The goalkeeper get diarrhea. Yeah, the

28:15

goalie got terrible It

28:17

lasted for six weeks and all

28:19

sorts of bad things happened. Anyway,

28:21

they lost in the final to

28:23

Morocco and there was like a

28:25

whole fucking community of hunters who

28:27

were hanging on tenterhooks while they

28:30

waited for a boy who at

28:32

the time was probably about seven

28:34

to basically decide out of his

28:36

head who won the game. I

28:38

remember being on the

28:41

motorway for the second

28:43

half of the game.

28:45

And he was in the back and he

28:47

just suddenly went bad news. England have just

28:49

got two one down. And

28:51

I pulled over at some services

28:53

to fucking update everyone on the

28:55

Twitter. There

28:58

were strange times, there were crazy times, there

29:00

were great times. But anyway, he's obviously had a

29:02

pang on his stardom like a rock star

29:04

coming back with a comeback album. He's decided to

29:06

do it. But I said to him, I

29:09

said, you know, the Leninverse was quite

29:11

well known. I said, stick

29:14

it in. Chat GBT, see if

29:16

Chat GBT knows what the Lenoverse

29:18

is, right? So

29:20

he typed it in and he's fuming,

29:22

because do you know what it says? It

29:25

says the Lenoverse

29:27

is a fictional

29:29

parody football universe

29:32

that exists in

29:34

the mind of

29:36

Len Delaney, who is

29:39

a fictional creation of the

29:41

journalist and broadcaster, Sam

29:43

Delaney. And

29:45

then at the end, it reiterates it

29:47

as well. It goes, in conclusion, the

29:49

Lenoverse is the creation of Sam Delaney,

29:51

who made it via another one of

29:54

his creations, Len Delaney. But

29:57

think in a sense, you are my creation, but

29:59

he's not buying that. He's fucking fuming from

30:01

an IP point of view. Yeah, I'd say that,

30:03

like, yeah. I'm

30:05

a bit so I don't want to

30:07

take any credit for the linoverse,

30:09

but obviously I did find it funny

30:11

You know, I don't think Chachi

30:13

PT can be relied on at all.

30:15

No, just goes to show. So

30:17

he's been creating lots of branding and

30:20

kind of brandy There's a lot

30:22

of content coming and I've got a

30:24

few little nuggets which I won't

30:26

reveal because that's a thing to do

30:28

about what's going down at this

30:30

earth tournament And I think the real

30:32

ones the true hardcore earth tournament

30:34

fans I'm going to be pretty

30:36

happy. There's some fan service in there. Put

30:38

it that way. It's

30:40

Substack, is that right? It'll be

30:42

on Substack. I can't remember

30:44

what it's called. I guess it's called

30:46

the Lenaverse. Or maybe it's

30:48

called... It's not on his bear tent project.

30:50

I think I got the email from the

30:52

bear tent. The bear tent is the name

30:54

of the podcast. Right.

30:57

But the way you

30:59

find it on Substack

31:01

is Lenaverse .substack.com. Right.

31:04

Fantastic. Yeah.

31:07

Well, we'll keep an eye on

31:09

it and we will drop some

31:11

little teasers in perhaps for the

31:13

listeners. We'll

31:16

do some football predictions then

31:18

I can fuck off out of

31:20

the service station car park

31:22

on the next destination. Are you

31:24

ready? Yeah. Wolves

31:28

versus Leicester. Wolves.

31:33

Three Leicester nil. Wolf's

31:36

three Leicester nil. I've got five

31:38

nil the wolves. I don't

31:40

know why. Leicester have just collapsed

31:43

completely. Did you see where Jamie

31:45

Vardy had posted an apology for

31:47

the season to Leicester fans? And

31:49

he used the word shit sure. That's

31:52

good lad. More

31:54

evidence is needed that Jamie

31:56

Vardy is Britain's greatest

31:58

man. Yes.

32:01

Chelsea versus Everton. I'll go first. I'm

32:03

going to go for a 2 -2 draw

32:05

on this one. I

32:08

will say

32:10

2 -1 Chelsea. Brighton

32:14

versus West Ham. Is this the one you're

32:16

going to? I'm going to this. I'm going

32:18

to this. Yeah, nice. 3

32:21

-0 Brighton. 3

32:24

-0 Brighton. I'm

32:26

going to go 2 -0. I've got a

32:28

pot of the club in it. Stick

32:30

some money on that. I

32:32

don't bet on football, but if

32:34

you bet on football stick

32:36

Put some money on 3 -0

32:39

to Brighton Okay Oxford versus Sunderland.

32:41

I think Sunderland will win

32:43

this 2 -0 Fucking hell Sunderland

32:45

lost again the other day. It's

32:47

just like they're giving up

32:49

till the playoffs now. Well We've

32:52

been rotating the team to keep everyone fresh

32:54

for the playoffs, because we're definitely in the

32:56

playoffs. The trouble is, the squad is way

32:58

for thin, so the kids that have been

33:00

put in, they're all shit. So that's why

33:02

we've lost a few games. Oxford

33:05

-Sunderland, sad idea. Oxford

33:07

-Sunderland, let's say, Oxford

33:10

-Neil -Sunderland one. Nice.

33:16

Newcastle versus Ipswich, finally.

33:22

Newcastle Ipswich, I see this

33:24

as being Newcastle 4 Ipswich

33:26

1. I've got

33:28

to go for a 1 -1 in this

33:30

one. And

33:32

that's pretty much it. Oh, if you're

33:34

in the Sunderland area and you're

33:36

aware of the Saltgrass pub, in

33:38

the Defford area. It's not

33:40

Defford in South London, it's Defford

33:43

in Sunderland. I'll be

33:45

DJing there as part of a

33:47

team of three DJs under

33:49

the umbrella title of Loud Not

33:51

Loud. Saturday evening I'll be

33:53

there from about six o 'clock and

33:55

I am being peered in pints

33:57

so it might get incredibly messy as

33:59

the evening goes on, and I

34:01

start playing records and no one wants

34:03

to hear, put Put

34:05

records on vinyl Seven

34:08

inch singles. Yeah, inch singles. scratching

34:10

mixing or

34:12

just simply playing. Once what's the once the

34:14

free booze in, anything I might be fucking

34:16

over the top of some of the moon

34:18

knows This sounds great. I wish

34:20

I could be you go. Yeah, I

34:22

made me a some video content from it.

34:25

Yeah Other than that, that's kind of it.

34:27

Don't forget your sunglasses, half is mate. I

34:29

know you bought a new pair when I

34:31

was up there in

34:33

Sunderland so them along because

34:35

it's important. From Primark yeah

34:37

yeah Thanks for from

34:39

here at Woolly Edge and from

34:41

wherever you are some And

34:44

that's that. That's that. you.