0:23

Hi, I'm Jess. And I'm

0:25

George. And this is Tramp

0:27

fantastic. A podcast about gender,

0:29

identity, orientation, and all the

0:31

life that happens around it.

0:33

Like holidays? Yes, that would

0:35

be this time of year.

0:38

It does happen this time

0:40

of year. Mm-hmm. And for

0:42

your holidays, you got a

0:44

referral to PT. Yes. to

0:46

physical therapy. You had the

0:48

follow-up appointment from your MRI.

0:51

You had gotten an MRI for

0:53

your shoulder that got busted a

0:55

couple weeks ago, putting up lights.

0:57

Well, they had been busted for

0:59

a while. It became very, very clear

1:01

how busted it was the other week

1:04

when you were putting up lights. I

1:06

wasn't even putting them up. I was

1:08

putting them down. So, yeah, you know.

1:10

I was talking to someone who has

1:13

disability things and said that you could

1:15

say, I wasn't doing anything, but so

1:17

I was talking to someone who was

1:19

saying, we say we weren't doing anything,

1:22

but really it was done to us

1:24

or for us or whatever. Yeah, it just,

1:26

our body did a thing. Yes, the body

1:28

just did a thing. Body did a thing.

1:30

Body did a thing. So it wasn't, it

1:33

had nothing to do with what I was

1:35

doing or wasn't doing. My arm just, you

1:37

know, you know, like that guy in the

1:39

mani python. Just a scratch. Just by

1:41

the scratch. But it's definitely hanging by

1:43

a thread. Well, quite literally in the

1:45

case of one of the three tendons

1:48

in your rotator cuff that are torn.

1:50

Yes. One of them is basically hanging

1:52

on by a thread. It is. And

1:54

the other two have minor tears, but

1:56

the one that is barely hanging on

1:58

is going to have to get... reattached

2:00

eventually. Yes, yeah the doctor said

2:02

if if it was just the

2:04

other ones that were strained and

2:06

a little torn I probably would

2:08

need any surgery to reattach anything

2:10

but the way things are I

2:12

can I can try physical therapy

2:14

and try skipping surgery but it's

2:16

likely that I would eventually need

2:18

the surgery regardless and the physical

2:20

therapy will help. Yes. Get everything

2:22

else around it stronger which will

2:24

help the healing. Yes. The PT

2:26

beforehand, even if surgery is an

2:28

eventuality, even if it's unavoidable. Yes.

2:30

The PT will make the outcomes

2:32

of surgery better. Yes. So you

2:34

decided to go ahead and postpone

2:37

the surgery and do the PT

2:39

first. I'm going to do some

2:41

physical therapy first to try to

2:43

shore things up around there, but

2:45

the thing is they can't, you

2:47

know, this being the end of

2:49

the year, they can't get anything

2:51

started until a couple weeks into

2:53

the new year and, you know,

2:55

they can do the reattachment with

2:57

a robot or a laparoscopic type

2:59

surgery. So it's not as invasive,

3:01

which I do better with. Yes.

3:03

six to nine month recovery period.

3:05

Yes, so. And in addition to

3:07

that, when they first said, oh

3:09

yes, if we decided to do

3:11

surgery, now we would get you

3:13

in probably mid-January. And my thought

3:15

was the thing that we keep

3:17

coming back to with American capitalist

3:19

health care and motherfucking insurance companies.

3:21

You currently are looking at a

3:23

reimbursement program for your ketamine treatment.

3:25

Right. And that only works when

3:27

you have out-of-pocket payments for your

3:29

ketamine payments for your ketamine payments

3:31

for your ketamine sit time for

3:33

the office visits. And so you

3:35

had decided some while ago that

3:37

at the beginning of the year,

3:39

the only thing you were going

3:41

to get to get done was

3:43

those ketamine treatments so that they

3:45

would eat up your out- Yeah,

3:47

typically it's only the first few

3:49

treatments that there is, the reimbursement

3:51

is only from whatever you are

3:53

paying that goes towards the observation.

3:55

Right. during the treatment. So at

3:57

some point during the billing process,

3:59

the you know, convoluted billing of

4:01

insurance, there is no longer a

4:03

observation part that I'm actually paying

4:05

and paying for other things, but

4:07

not that. And so the only

4:09

part I can get reimbursed on

4:11

is the observation. So I could

4:13

get at least a couple of

4:15

those in there before I have

4:17

to do my physical therapy intake.

4:19

And the type of insurance I

4:21

have means that I pay just

4:23

over five grand out of pocket

4:25

before I stop paying. That's your

4:28

out-of-pocket maximum. Yeah, out-of-pocket maximum. The

4:30

other, the initial part, which is

4:32

your copays. Copays. It changes it

4:34

like half of that. So about,

4:36

you know, $2,300 into making payments,

4:38

that's when it goes down and

4:40

that's when the observation, you know,

4:42

cost changes as far as my

4:44

payment towards that. Yeah, whatever. There's

4:46

all these weird apps. There is.

4:48

So I thought as long as

4:50

I'm doing all these things anyway,

4:52

I might as well try to

4:54

line them up to my advantage.

4:56

Right. And it may still not

4:58

work out, but it wouldn't be

5:00

any worse than if it didn't

5:02

work out in the first place.

5:04

Correct. I mean, I can't get

5:06

any of the other things done

5:08

any sooner anyway. Right. Yeah. So

5:10

you will be starting physical therapy

5:12

a week or two into the

5:14

new year? I will get an

5:16

evaluation for physical therapy two weeks

5:18

into the new year. and can

5:20

like get some strength back into

5:22

that, because you have basically been

5:24

trying to avoid using it. And

5:26

sometimes just muscle memory, you're going

5:28

to move yourself around in a

5:30

certain way, and then you're like,

5:32

oh, stop. Yeah. Telling yourself, don't

5:34

do that. Yeah, ouch. And I'm

5:36

hoping that we can get you

5:38

to a place where you can

5:40

at least have some functionality on

5:42

that side, even if it's just

5:44

increased range of motion. I have

5:46

a lot of questions for the

5:48

physical therapist because I have such

5:50

a big tear. How are we

5:52

going to make this work? And

5:54

how is it going to benefit

5:56

me? Have you written those questions

5:58

down? Because I find myself sometimes

6:00

when I'm actually in that doctor

6:02

visit, I often find myself like,

6:04

oh, what were your other questions?

6:06

And I'm like, I know I

6:08

had some. Yeah, I've got a

6:10

few things like that lately where

6:12

I thought I'd remember things and

6:14

I don't. And I looked for

6:16

notes and didn't have them on

6:19

those particular things. Right. Just other

6:21

random parts of my life, but,

6:23

um... Okay. Yep. So... Yeah, good.

6:25

As we're sitting here talking, he

6:27

just created a note would be

6:29

what it looked like from here.

6:31

Yes. Good job. Yeah, because I

6:33

might forget to do that by

6:35

the time we're done talking. It's

6:37

true. Yeah, it is true. Just

6:39

because something's obvious doesn't mean you'll

6:41

remember. You're correct. And speaking of

6:43

remembering and thinking through, you were

6:45

in the doctor's office for that

6:47

MRI follow-up. And I have offered

6:49

any time that you're in a

6:51

doctor visit that you absolutely can

6:53

check in with me and have

6:55

me present on phone. or on

6:57

Face Time or whatever, to be

6:59

that not patient person who has

7:01

a little bit more distance and

7:03

therefore hopefully a little bit more

7:05

clear thinking. Yes. And so you

7:07

were getting ready to text me

7:09

but you called me instead. Yes,

7:11

I called you when I meant

7:13

to text you and ask you

7:15

if you could join us and

7:17

so then I just asked you.

7:19

Yeah, it's true. And meanwhile, I'm

7:21

thinking, oh, he has his appointment

7:23

today. I hope he does okay.

7:25

I hope everything comes out all

7:27

right. Or, you know, I hope

7:29

that the information is good. And

7:31

you were like, uh, hi. Hi.

7:33

I was texting you, except apparently

7:35

not. Oops. Phones are confusing. Yeah,

7:37

the brain circuits were cross-crossing. They've

7:39

been doing that a lot lately.

7:41

Yeah, I think pain is just

7:43

not helpful in general. I think

7:45

you are correct. Yeah, so. I

7:47

think you're absolutely correct. Yeah, you

7:49

were the first one to break

7:51

it to me that that was

7:53

probably going to be a surgery

7:55

after reading the... report and yeah

7:57

because when they nearly complete terror

7:59

in attendance like a minor tear

8:01

those things can like what's what's

8:03

remaining can like get stronger and

8:05

accommodate but a nearly complete terror

8:07

is not going to be able

8:09

to grow back or accommodate or

8:12

it's just not. No, he has

8:14

to reattach it. And especially since

8:16

one of the other tendons that's

8:18

not part of the rotator cuff

8:20

has slipped and dislocated into the

8:22

place where. Yes. Well, the other

8:24

thing is supposed to be. Yes.

8:26

So one of my providers said

8:28

yesterday, the chiropractor, the alternate chiropractor,

8:30

because mine was not there, but

8:32

that's fine. Because my knee just

8:34

started doing a thing yesterday and

8:36

it was like clunking around. Yeah,

8:38

it was very, very uncomfortable. I

8:40

bet. Yeah, like you go to

8:42

move your knee and it would

8:44

clunk to the side. And I

8:46

explained to him, you know, why

8:48

I was there. And he got

8:50

so distracted by the rest of

8:52

it. He was like, oh, and

8:54

I should look at your knee.

8:56

And I'm here. He said about

8:58

my shoulder, he said, so probably

9:00

what's hardest for you is to

9:02

reach behind your back. I said,

9:04

oh yes, that is the wrong

9:06

thing to do. To scratch your

9:08

back or your rear or to

9:10

reposition yourself while sitting? Oh, can't

9:12

do that. No, you have to

9:14

lift your whole self up and

9:16

reposition from the knees and thighs.

9:18

Yeah, or I can lean to

9:20

my right arm, push back with

9:22

my right arm, and then sit

9:24

up. So I am using my

9:26

arm, I'm just not using it

9:28

to a regular capacity, which is

9:30

of course not possible with such

9:32

a tear. Right. And we'll see

9:34

if really, you know, when I

9:36

have this physical therapy intake, if

9:38

they really think that they can

9:40

do something with the rest of

9:42

it or not, I, you know,

9:44

I don't know how all those

9:46

pieces work well enough to know

9:48

how you would deal with this.

9:50

Especially when you've got something slid

9:52

into the wrong place. And I'm

9:54

sure that like the physical therapists

9:56

there know what they're doing and

9:58

can work around that. But it's

10:00

good that you're going in with

10:03

the conscientious point of like, hey,

10:05

here are my problems and here's

10:07

what my end goal is. So

10:09

let's make sure that we stay

10:11

focused on this. Yeah, I want

10:13

to be able to believe that

10:15

it's really going to be showing

10:17

up, you know, the rest of

10:19

the rest of the tissue so

10:21

that when I have a surgery,

10:23

it will benefit from that support

10:25

of the other work that I've

10:27

done. Yes, all of the muscles.

10:29

and such around, they're going to

10:31

finish unattaching the torn tendon and

10:33

then reattach it somewhere else so

10:35

that it can resume functioning. Yeah.

10:37

But not until it has had

10:39

six to nine months to grow

10:41

into its new spot. Yes, it

10:43

will need a lot of assistance

10:46

at that point as well. But

10:48

at least things will be in

10:50

the right place. But at least

10:52

things will be in a functional

10:54

place. Yes, not the original place,

10:56

but a functional place. Yes, more

10:58

functional than now, which shouldn't be that

11:00

hard, really. I think should is the wrong

11:03

words right now. Oh gosh. So speaking

11:05

of should, there's a kid here

11:07

who's about to turn 18, and

11:10

should. be adulting soon. Yeah, that's

11:12

true. And to that end, because

11:14

you have been working towards this

11:17

goal of getting this kid adulting

11:19

capable for 18 years. Yeah, that's

11:21

what we do typically in parenting

11:23

and it works sometimes it works

11:26

better than others, you know. And I

11:28

think you have worked harder and had

11:30

more success with him than most people

11:32

would be capable of because of his

11:34

organic challenges. and prenatal drug exposure, and

11:37

so on. I have no way of

11:39

looking at this with a perspective at

11:41

this point. So I'll take your word

11:43

for it. You can get is the

11:45

perspective of other people who observe you.

11:47

And you have mentioned many times that

11:50

you have friends who are like, oh

11:52

my gosh, you are doing so good

11:54

with him. Oh my gosh, he is so. Because they

11:56

look at it and they want to pull their

11:58

hair out and they can't believe. have to

12:00

do this. You know, like this,

12:02

that would drive me crazy. And

12:04

it has, is what they usually

12:07

say, yeah. Yeah, it has driven

12:09

me crazy. It's true. Yeah. To

12:11

that end, we have been trying

12:13

to work with various agencies and

12:15

organizations in the area to get

12:17

the kid services before he ages.

12:19

There's hardly even a handful because

12:21

our area is small. However, I've

12:23

tried to find out what he

12:25

is, what he does qualify for.

12:27

Right. And you started with the

12:30

most intensive and you're kind of

12:32

working your way back. Yeah, that

12:34

was the biggest process. Right. Yeah.

12:36

And if they can't do something,

12:38

then I would hope they have

12:40

other recommendations. Right, and so you

12:42

started by applying for the intensive

12:44

resource center that's near us that

12:46

has everything from residential facilities to

12:48

daily helpers to outpatient basically adult

12:50

daycare kind of things and they

12:52

said that his IQ is basically

12:55

a few points too high and

12:57

he's just a few tasks too

12:59

capable. He is, and he sounds

13:01

way more capable as well, but

13:03

he's just answering you. he's not

13:05

really telling you the correct answer?

13:07

He doesn't look as disabled as

13:09

he is. His disability is pretty

13:11

invisible until you actually have to

13:13

observe him doing structured tasks. And

13:15

when you realize this kid is

13:18

nearly 18 and cannot read a

13:20

calendar, let alone a paragraph, is

13:22

gonna grab the frank pan by

13:24

the pan part, not the handle.

13:26

And still struggles with toileting. Yeah.

13:28

And at the same time, he

13:30

doesn't present. himself that way in

13:32

most situations. No, and his evaluations

13:34

show that he is capable of

13:36

doing some of those things some

13:38

of the time. And the most

13:41

intensive support services are available for

13:43

kids who cannot do those things

13:45

any of the time. Yeah, people

13:47

who can't feed themselves or get

13:49

dressed or, you know, know that

13:51

they need the bathroom ever. He

13:53

can recognize that he needs the

13:55

bathroom sometimes. He can feed himself.

13:57

He can dress himself. Will he?

13:59

Will he do so appropriately? Will

14:01

he take into account the weather

14:03

or the function that he's attending

14:06

or or or? No, but he

14:08

actually has the fine and gross

14:10

motor skills to put a shirt

14:12

onto his torso. Yes, he does.

14:14

And so he did not meet

14:16

the criteria for the most intensive

14:18

support center. Correct. So after basically

14:20

getting denied services from the most

14:22

intensive place. Now you're working your

14:24

way down to a vocational support

14:26

center. Yes. And you had an

14:29

intake interview with them and with

14:31

the child. How did that go?

14:33

Fortunately, it was just the first

14:35

in a number of intake type

14:37

processes, so she's giving us what

14:39

kind of documentation she needs to

14:41

prove that he qualifies for services,

14:43

one of which being to view

14:45

his Social Security card on the

14:47

webcam because they weren't able to

14:49

find his Social Security number linking

14:51

him to his name because I

14:54

had put a dash in there.

14:56

His last name is hyphenated with

14:58

you and your X. It is

15:00

not for Social Security. Social Security

15:02

takes a dash out of there.

15:04

Now I know. I didn't notice

15:06

that on the card. But that's

15:08

one of the things and then

15:10

she needed documentation of his disabilities

15:12

from his neuropsych and stuff like

15:14

that. His IEP. Yep. So... then

15:17

it looks like she sent me

15:19

some things to sign. Because he's

15:21

a minor, I can still get

15:23

these things in motion. And I'm

15:25

hoping by the time I get

15:27

them in motion and he gets

15:29

engaged, providing he does get engaged,

15:31

that they have a better view

15:33

of what he is and is

15:35

not capable of. Because just talking

15:37

to him, she assumed that he

15:40

was much more functional than he

15:42

is. Yes, which again is not

15:44

a surprising or uncommon occurrence. No,

15:46

he's just answering a question. Eventually

15:48

he starts to deteriorate during the

15:50

interview and you know can't sit

15:52

there right. and asked to eat

15:54

a piece of candy and then

15:56

goes on your machine and hangs

15:58

upside down and does all kinds

16:00

of things, you know. But, and

16:02

he's just answering and I had

16:05

to stop him and say, no,

16:07

really, you need to tell this

16:09

woman who's trying to help you

16:11

that you do not intend on

16:13

staying in school. because he's a

16:15

18-year-old junior or he's going to

16:17

be an 18-year-old junior. Yes. Who is

16:19

going to, you know, most people would think

16:21

that most kids who want to have a

16:24

successful adulthood would finish high school, especially

16:26

the kids who don't even have to finish

16:28

all of their like... get good grades

16:30

or anything they just have to meet the

16:32

qualifications that they're on a pass fail he

16:35

really he really could pass things he

16:37

could pass things that he would just do

16:39

the work but he refuses yeah and

16:41

understandably i mean we've talked about this

16:43

before he feels like it's not benefiting

16:45

him in any way yeah and if he

16:47

had been on a pass fail system the

16:50

last few years he may have gotten

16:52

some more of those credits but i

16:54

think at this stage he'd probably be

16:56

in a similar place yes where he

16:58

doesn't see the benefit of it He

17:00

also doesn't see anything reasonable either,

17:02

so you know, details. Yeah, so

17:04

she sent some some things for

17:06

me to sign because him being still

17:08

a minor, I can start the process

17:11

for him. Yes. And try to get

17:13

it rolling and try to get him

17:15

engaged. See what they can help him

17:17

with. They can help him find a

17:19

job. They can help with the physical

17:21

resources of job hunting, like interview, and

17:24

training, how to interview, training how to

17:26

interview, because he did one interview before

17:28

and he basically, we don't even know what

17:30

happened, but it sounded like he just kind

17:32

of blew it off and was posturing the

17:35

way he does for his friends and didn't

17:37

realize that that's not how you get a

17:39

job. Correct. Yeah, so, you know, chances of

17:42

him learning something from somebody else are

17:44

better than me. And, you know,

17:46

I'm all out of steam here. You

17:48

are. With this process. And that was,

17:51

I think this is something that you've

17:53

brought up with multiple people who could

17:55

potentially be supports is that you have

17:57

been doing this for 18 years. and

18:00

it has run you down and you

18:02

cannot keep doing it. No matter how

18:04

much longer you continue to be around,

18:06

you've said it a few times to

18:09

a few various people just to sort

18:11

of smack them into, verbally smack them

18:13

into awareness. You've said, you know, various

18:15

permutations of I'm not going to be

18:17

around forever and he needs help. I

18:20

think I'm also reminding myself not to

18:22

try to stretch any farther than I

18:24

already have. Yes, and so at this

18:26

point he needs to become his own

18:29

responsibility and engage with whatever other supports

18:31

are available because you can't be his

18:33

support anymore. Yeah, and the thing is

18:35

most 18 year olds will do that

18:37

fairly poorly. Some of them more so

18:40

than others. But he doesn't want help

18:42

enough to try to be helpful back.

18:44

He doesn't and I don't think he

18:46

realizes how that process is supposed to

18:49

work because you've said before that like

18:51

your friends will notice the way that

18:53

he interacts with you when he's seeking

18:55

support from you and it's always so

18:57

rude and so demanding and so entitled.

19:00

And so I don't think he has

19:02

a sense of he really needs to

19:04

contribute to the process. No he doesn't.

19:06

And that's part of this is working

19:08

for him. just fine and that's part

19:11

of what Zero Child said though was

19:13

that he was going to have to

19:15

have a whole lot of nothing before

19:17

he would be willing to work for

19:20

something. Yeah and he hasn't had enough

19:22

nothing yet I guess. He has not.

19:24

Yeah so you know he tried to

19:26

talk me in going to going to

19:28

going to going to get him KFC

19:31

yesterday after that intake. Oh my gosh.

19:33

With the vocational support. So this is

19:35

the thing that we used to do

19:37

with the kids when they were in

19:40

like late elementary middle school when they

19:42

were starting to have a etc. Well,

19:44

I was still doing it a year

19:46

ago because, you know, he had psychiatry

19:48

appointments and so forth and making him

19:51

be present on time, you know, food

19:53

is a good bribe. It is, he

19:55

is food motivated. Yeah. And like, to

19:57

be fair, I did the same thing

19:59

with number three child about their eye

20:02

appointment. and about their vaccines to stay

20:04

in school. They like Starbucks or... They

20:06

do like Starbucks. Yeah. And so I've

20:08

even started doing it with myself. I

20:11

will go to the doctor and I

20:13

will feed myself a treat for having

20:15

been a good kid at the doctor.

20:17

Nothing wrong with that. I was a

20:19

big kid and gave myself a shot.

20:22

Yes. I did good. I got me

20:24

treat. Yeah, he wanted me to, he

20:26

said he hadn't had any KFC in

20:28

a long time and... Oh my gosh.

20:31

You don't get KFC for job training

20:33

interviews? No. No. Goodness sake. So yeah,

20:35

he's still got this sense of entitlement

20:37

about supports and about food and shelter

20:39

and internet and phone. Well, he doesn't

20:42

know much different. I mean, he's had

20:44

some friends in the past several months

20:46

who don't have all of those resources.

20:48

Uh-huh. So he has some awareness that

20:51

some people don't have them, but he's

20:53

never seen us in that situation. We'd

20:55

have to have a time machine for

20:57

that, you know, so. Correct. Yeah. We

20:59

both have been without these things. We

21:02

have both existed in poverty various times

21:04

in our lives. Yeah. We have both

21:06

worked our assets off. He doesn't know

21:08

anything about that. And to survive in

21:10

poverty is fucking work. Yeah. I just

21:13

say no, once in a while I'll

21:15

give him a ride. I gave him

21:17

a ride the other night, it was

21:19

Christmas, you know, so that's fine. But

21:22

most of the time I just say

21:24

no. Right. I say what's in it

21:26

for me and he'll say, I'll clean

21:28

the air and I'll say I already

21:30

did that, so no. and he still

21:33

owes me some chores from the last

21:35

time I had to clean up after

21:37

him. So, yeah, we will see. He

21:39

went, he'll try to tell you he

21:42

doesn't because it's been long enough that

21:44

he doesn't remember. Oh, I did, I

21:46

did those chores, remember? Yeah. No, you're

21:48

thinking of other times that you did

21:50

other chores. Show me on the calendar

21:53

where you did them. Once upon the

21:55

time. No. No. No. No. Unfortunately, reality

21:57

doesn't work like that. No. But speaking

21:59

of getting a lot of nothing, what

22:01

he got for Christmas this year. He

22:04

got the same thing he got last

22:06

year only repaired because he had broken

22:08

it within a week last year. Which

22:10

was? His phone. Last year I got

22:13

both of these kids' phones. And then

22:15

he was mad because he didn't want

22:17

one because his PlayStation wasn't working right

22:19

and he wanted a PlayStation. But he

22:21

never said he wanted a PlayStation. No,

22:24

he didn't. And you can't get something

22:26

if it's not on your list because

22:28

nobody knows to buy it. You cannot

22:30

expect things without asking for them. If

22:33

it's time, the old phones are dying.

22:35

and you can get a deal on

22:37

some phones for the kids. Yes. Same

22:39

phone, just a... You were a newer

22:41

version of the phone that they had

22:44

before and they were both 16 at

22:46

the time and I figured, okay, this

22:48

is the last time I'm getting either

22:50

of them phones because by the time

22:52

these start to meet their pre-planned obsolescence,

22:55

these kids will be 18 and they'll

22:57

be responsible for replacing their own stuff.

22:59

Yes. But he broke his and because

23:01

he didn't want it anyway, I just

23:04

left it here. Because I said, I'm

23:06

not spending all that money to fix

23:08

your phone. You can go earn some

23:10

money and fix it. And eventually his

23:12

old phone started not to charge. You

23:15

couldn't get the court to stay in.

23:17

In addition to its pre-planned obsolescence, he

23:19

was just being really rough on his

23:21

stuff, because sensory integration issues mean that

23:24

he has no concept of gentle. Yes.

23:26

had phone problems for some months now

23:28

and I paid to get the phone

23:30

fixed and that's what he got. The

23:32

same phone, the same screen protector that

23:35

he didn't put on the first time.

23:37

The phone case that he didn't put

23:39

on the first time. The phone case

23:41

that he didn't put on at the

23:43

first time. Which might have kept this

23:46

from happening. It might have. Yeah. But

23:48

this year at least he seemed grateful

23:50

for it. And like first thing he

23:52

did was like bring it over to

23:55

me. social. 17-year-old would be like horror.

23:57

Yes. Like the times when his old

23:59

phone would not charge and he would

24:01

be like, can you fix my phone?

24:03

And I'd be like, yes, but it's

24:06

going to take a couple of hours

24:08

because you just have to leave it

24:10

on the charge. And he'd be like,

24:12

no, but it's going to take a

24:15

couple of hours because you just have

24:17

to leave it on the charge. And

24:19

he'd be like, no, I can't leave

24:21

it on the charge. And he'd be

24:23

like, no, you just have to leave

24:26

it, to leave it, to leave it,

24:28

to leave it on the leave it

24:30

on the charge it on the charge

24:32

it on the charge on the charge

24:34

on the charge on the charge on

24:37

the charge. He's on the charge on

24:39

the charge. He's on the charge. He's

24:41

on the charge. He's on the charge.

24:43

He'd like, like, like, like, like, like,

24:46

like, like, like, like, like, like, like

24:48

no. have that and it's one year

24:50

less use than it would have been

24:52

so it's less damage. There you know.

24:54

But the rest of Christmas was pretty

24:57

cool too. I enjoyed the time that

24:59

we had all of us here with

25:01

the kids and their partners. Yeah, it

25:03

was enjoyable. It was. And it started

25:06

with right after Christmas. Last year you

25:08

got me a rainbow tree. I did.

25:10

Because I have had a all-blue Christmas

25:12

for since I became an adult and

25:14

had a Christmas of my own. It

25:17

has all been blue for over two

25:19

decades. And you were quite happy to

25:21

have a different option. And so when

25:23

I looked at and I was pointing...

25:25

out, oh gosh, Rainbow Tree isn't that

25:28

funny? And you were like, yes, it's

25:30

funny, here. Have one, right? Yes. Yeah,

25:32

after Christmas sale for the win. Yes.

25:34

Yeah. And so we had Rainbow Christmas

25:37

this year instead of Blue Christmas. And

25:39

that was fun. Everybody seemed to be

25:41

enjoying that. Yes. And as usual, because

25:43

it started when we were sharing custody

25:45

and doing the blended family thing of

25:48

moving holidays all over the calendar to

25:50

whenever we would have both kids for

25:52

custody, for living, staying with us. Right.

25:54

We had our holiday. not on Christmas.

25:57

Right. And so it was just going

25:59

to be a weekend and we asked

26:01

number zero child when do you and

26:03

your wife have off and we picked

26:05

that day. Yes, and that works quite

26:08

well for them. Yes. Seems to work

26:10

well for the youngest child is also

26:12

because they have, you know, other folks

26:14

that they go and spend time with

26:16

for holidays and of their own choosing.

26:19

Correct. Yes. because they do approximate the

26:21

adulting for themselves. And at Thanksgiving, Number

26:23

Zero Child was still in between jobs

26:25

and basically said, I know Christmas is

26:28

coming, but you know, don't get us

26:30

anything because we can't promise to give

26:32

you guys things. And we're like, okay,

26:34

that's not how we do it. But

26:36

then they were like, what do we

26:39

get you for Christmas? And I was

26:41

just like, how about dinner? If you're

26:43

between jobs, you should be getting food

26:45

stamps, you can just make dinner. Right.

26:48

So we don't usually have Christmas dinner

26:50

though. Usually I make a big Christmas

26:52

breakfast. That's been my tradition again since

26:54

I was adulting. That small people get

26:56

their stockings while I make a big

26:59

breakfast for us and then we have

27:01

our big breakfast and have family time

27:03

and then we get to presents. And

27:05

that usually means though that our Christmas

27:07

is done by late morning, early afternoon

27:10

at the latest. But in this case,

27:12

we had a dinner plant. Yes. Which

27:14

was nice. It was very nice. And

27:16

so number zero and her wife brought

27:19

over like a ham and some potatoes

27:21

and yeah, Christmas dinner. Yeah, and they

27:23

hung out with us all day. We

27:25

had early dinner. We did. Yeah. And

27:27

because number two child, our boy, had

27:30

decided not to participate in our Christmas

27:32

Eve traditions, he had decided to wander

27:34

off with his friends. Yeah. Then we

27:36

decided to let number three wander off

27:39

with their friends for a Christmas dinner

27:41

as well. Yes, each had a turn

27:43

of wandering off. They did. Yeah. But

27:45

one of them asked first. Well, he

27:47

asked for us and I said, I'm

27:50

not going to tell you you can

27:52

do that because we've been telling you

27:54

for days. This is our plan. We've

27:56

been telling him longer than that, but

27:58

we had been reminding him. Yeah. Well.

28:01

I mean, at least he did say,

28:03

I'm going. out like he did communicate

28:05

that he was leaving yeah he doesn't

28:07

always do that either no he doesn't

28:10

he just up and I told him

28:12

last time the other night when he

28:14

did it I said if you don't

28:16

say where you're going and when you'll

28:18

be back you will probably get locked

28:21

out Correct. And there's no key outside

28:23

for you? Not anymore, not since he

28:25

went and found the key that had

28:27

been hidden outside with five of his

28:30

friends standing around. Yeah, there's no key.

28:32

You're out of luck. I might have

28:34

one in the garage somewhere that I

28:36

can get to with the garage code.

28:38

And if not, everybody's out of luck

28:41

because I can't keep a key outside

28:43

if he's going to go take it

28:45

out in front of everybody. Yeah, that's

28:47

not cool. Yeah. Well. What was gendery

28:50

about any of that? Was there anything

28:52

gendery about holiday? Was there anything gendery

28:54

about appointments? I don't know. I mean,

28:56

I figure I just look like a

28:58

little old man to the doctor. What

29:01

else is me? Yeah. That's because you

29:03

are a little old man. Yeah. I

29:05

like that you're a little old man.

29:07

Yeah, I'd like it better if my

29:09

arms would stay attached and stuff like

29:12

that. More, more, more man, less old.

29:14

Yeah, that would, that would work for

29:16

me. Okay, yeah, I'm sorry. You have

29:18

my sincerest sympathies for the aging process.

29:21

Thank you. So is there anything else

29:23

for now? I think that's it. or

29:25

by commenting at our website transpantastic.net. Don't

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29:36

health professional. We are here to discuss

29:38

our own lives so we take no

29:41

responsibility for your decisions based on our

29:43

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29:45

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29:56

alteration or less than complete reproduction requires

29:58

permissions of the hosts. Thanks

30:00

for listening. It does

30:02

appear that we are turned

30:05

on. Okay. I mean, the

30:07

microphone and the computer and

30:09

everything is functional. Oh, thank

30:11

you. I mean, if you're

30:14

turned on, we can manage

30:16

that later, but we have

30:19

to record first. Correct. It

30:21

is now time to prepare

30:23

to get ready. Okay. Are

30:26

you ready? No, I'm preparing

30:28

to get ready. Now are we

30:30

actually ready? We might be.

30:32

Okay. Yeah. Hi, I'm Jess.

30:34

And I'm George. And this

30:36

is... I'm going to get

30:39

distracted, sorry. Sorry. I

30:41

always think it's going to

30:43

make a noise. Go ahead.

30:46

Complete, you know, they're going

30:48

to finish the, they're

30:50

going to completely... Now, I

30:53

make words. Maybe, let's

30:55

find out.