0:00

What if your money struggles have

0:02

nothing to do with how hard

0:04

you work and everything to do

0:06

with your nervous system? If you've

0:08

ever felt stuck in scarcity, financial

0:11

anxiety, or unhealthy money patterns, you're

0:13

not alone. Financial trauma is real

0:15

and it's not just about mindset.

0:17

It's about survival responses wired into

0:19

the body. Maybe you avoid looking

0:22

at your bank account. Maybe no

0:24

matter how much money you make,

0:26

it never feels like enough. Or

0:28

maybe you keep sabotaging financial opportunities

0:30

without even realizing why. Today we're breaking

0:32

down how financial trauma gets stored

0:35

in the nervous system, how it

0:37

fuels stress, shame, and self-sabotage, and

0:39

most importantly, how you can break

0:42

free. We're diving into the hidden

0:44

connection between trauma, money, and the

0:46

nervous system. breaking down the fight,

0:49

flight, freeze, and fawn responses in

0:51

financial behaviors and uncovering how healing

0:53

your nervous system can help you

0:56

create abundance, not just financially, but

0:58

in relationships, health, inner peace. This

1:00

one gets personal. We get into

1:03

our own financial beliefs and patterns,

1:05

and today we're joined by Preston

1:07

Smiles, Transformational Coach and author of

1:10

Spiritual Millionaire, who has an incredible

1:12

story and experience working with thousands

1:14

of people to help them overcome

1:16

shame, trauma, and unworthiness to access

1:19

abundance, and not just money, but

1:21

real wealth. Welcome

1:26

to Trauma Rewired. The podcast that

1:28

teaches you about your nervous system,

1:30

how trauma lives in the body,

1:32

and what you can do to

1:34

heal. I'm your co-host Elizabeth Christoff,

1:36

founder of Brainbased.com, an online community,

1:38

where we use applied neurology, somatics,

1:40

and stress processing for nervous system

1:43

resilience and health. And I'm also

1:45

the founder of the Neurosomatic Intelligence

1:47

Coaching Certification. An ICF accredited course

1:49

for coaches, therapists, therapists, healers, practitioners,

1:51

to bring the nervous system into

1:53

all the modalities. of work you

1:55

do. And I'm your co-host Jennifer

1:57

Wallace, a neurosomatic psychedelic.

2:00

and integration guide and I bring

2:02

your nervous system and its healing

2:05

into your peak somatic experiences and

2:07

by doing so we create safer

2:09

spaces for your body to receive

2:11

the messages and then embody the

2:13

medicine. I'm also one of the

2:15

educators at the NSI coaching certification

2:17

and today we are so honored

2:19

to be welcoming Preston Smiles to

2:21

Trauma Rewired. Preston, I'm thrilled to

2:23

dive into this conversation of financial

2:26

trauma and freedom with you. These

2:28

are some of the deepest patterns

2:30

that... me and Elizabeth have been

2:32

chipping away at, and when Elizabeth

2:34

messages me from Miami saying that

2:36

she had met you, it was

2:38

like all the stars aligned for

2:40

you to join us in this

2:42

conversation. I know that you had

2:44

a challenging childhood. I spent some

2:46

time listening to the Preston Smiles

2:48

show. You were raised poor, as

2:51

you say, in Compton, California, and

2:53

did not have the patterning for

2:55

wealth and success, not only in

2:57

a financial, but like Elizabeth said

2:59

relationally. And so... In that, you

3:01

have dedicated your life's work to

3:03

overcoming the shame and trauma that

3:05

keeps people stuck in scarcity with

3:07

a mix of somatics and strategy.

3:09

And so it's been fun to

3:11

learn from you. I'm excited for

3:13

what today brings, but would you

3:16

please start with sharing some of

3:18

your story, particularly what's relevant for

3:20

us to know as we dive

3:22

into financial trauma and freedom with

3:24

you today? Yes, yes, absolutely. And

3:26

thank you for having me. I

3:28

just want to tip my hat.

3:30

especially for the listeners, because I

3:32

want to acknowledge something. There's so

3:34

much that goes on behind the

3:36

scenes for something like this to

3:38

occur. And this podcast can't even

3:41

exist without the work that the

3:43

two of you have done separately

3:45

to have the type of consciousness

3:47

and the somatic body that even

3:49

hold it. Right? To the degree

3:51

that somebody has worked through and

3:53

on their stuff is that the

3:55

degree that they can experience life.

3:57

And so I just want to

3:59

acknowledge both of you for doing

4:01

so and for also unconscious... helping

4:03

support other women heal their sister

4:06

wound because that's a lot of

4:08

things that also occur in some

4:10

of my spaces where there's this

4:12

idea that two powerful women can't

4:14

exist in the same space and

4:16

there's so much juiciness to all

4:18

of us on this conversation and

4:20

so yes I will go into

4:22

my story this August I will

4:24

be 45 years young and I

4:26

have lived quite an epic life

4:29

and There are so many powerful

4:31

stories that I can extract from

4:33

but the one that I'll start

4:35

with is And I don't actually I

4:37

don't think I've ever told this

4:40

story on a podcast ever So

4:42

you're about to get some new stuff

4:44

my mom I grew up in a very stressed

4:47

out home. So my mom was

4:49

very stressed my dad was struggling

4:51

with his own drug addiction and

4:53

demons and I became

4:55

an out-of-the-way kid right children

4:58

adapt based on their

5:00

parents, their caregivers, and

5:02

so for me, the more out

5:04

of the way and the less

5:07

stressed I was, the better off.

5:09

And so if I was getting,

5:11

let's say, out of 100, 5%

5:14

of love and care, I would

5:16

manage everything and everybody so that

5:18

I could maintain the 5%

5:21

and my parents were not... into

5:23

self-development or anything of that nature

5:25

and they were doing the best

5:27

they could but I had a

5:29

moment with my mom in the

5:31

kitchen and this I've never shared

5:34

this before I had a moment my

5:36

mom in the kitchen I was probably

5:38

nine eight or nine and oh they

5:40

got divorced at nine so I would have

5:42

been eight and she's cooking or

5:45

doing something and I mentioned out

5:47

of pride that I had figured out

5:49

how to get some money and and

5:51

that I was gonna by some toy

5:53

or something like that. And for

5:55

some reason it triggered her.

5:58

And she was like, no, you know. And

6:00

I was like, yes I am.

6:02

And all I remember is her

6:04

slapping me out of the chair,

6:06

like across the counter. She slapped

6:08

me and I fell out of

6:11

the chair. And especially in Afro

6:13

Amazing Households, there's this idea that

6:15

big boys don't cry and to

6:17

man up and all that stuff.

6:19

And my mom's nervous system was

6:21

not built to hold tears and

6:23

all that stuff. And so I

6:25

just remember her sort of like...

6:28

Over me saying like as long

6:30

as you're in my household. I

6:32

will take care of the money

6:34

stuff and X Y and Z

6:36

and you ever have a moment

6:38

where you go yep I'm never

6:40

sharing that again Because that's what

6:43

happened for me and it's so

6:45

interesting even to this day my

6:47

wife and I have you know

6:49

we have Three very successful businesses

6:51

that are seven figures and we

6:53

still have separate accounts And so

6:55

we have accounts together and then

6:57

we have separate accounts. And there's

7:00

this part of me that never

7:02

wants anybody to be able to

7:04

tell me what to do. This

7:06

is trauma wounding all the stuff,

7:08

right? So if I control my

7:10

account, you can't tell me what

7:12

to do because she told me

7:15

what to do. She hit me,

7:17

right? And so inside of my

7:19

young impressionable psyche, I made up

7:21

the story that A, bringing up

7:23

money was dangerous. It's also a

7:25

stressful topic. B, that when women

7:27

are around, I'm on duty, because

7:29

my mom did her best to

7:32

beat out the parts of the

7:34

masculine that hurt her. And so,

7:36

because my dad was a little

7:38

misogynistic and cheated and was doing

7:40

drugs and things of that nature,

7:42

she tried to raise the perfect

7:44

little boy. And so I became

7:47

this chameleon, where I just showed

7:49

her what she wanted to see.

7:51

and that sort of bled into

7:53

all other subject matter. And I've

7:55

been in this space for almost

7:57

20 years. 2005 is what I

7:59

entered into the self-development space. And

8:01

I've been on many podcasts and

8:04

one of the things someone asked

8:06

me many years ago, they said,

8:08

what's the thing? You coach all

8:10

these people, what's the thing? They

8:12

said, oh, it's easy. It's parents,

8:14

money, and sex. And parents, you

8:16

can run from, sex you can

8:19

hide, but money, you're in conversation

8:21

with every single day. Sometimes like.

8:23

60 times a day. And so

8:25

if you have trauma around money,

8:27

that's going to show up over

8:29

and over and over again. And

8:31

we tend to go into hypervigilance

8:33

or hypo. And I, when it

8:36

came to money, sort of just

8:38

checked out for most of my

8:40

career and just said, it'll happen.

8:42

I'll focus on the stuff that

8:44

feels good. I had a really

8:46

big shift, and I'm going to

8:48

let you guys jump in here

8:51

in a minute, I had a

8:53

really big shift in 2012 going

8:55

into 2013 because I was coming

8:57

home from somewhere and I stopped

8:59

to get gas and I knew

9:01

I only had $8 in my

9:03

account. And I'm this 33-year-old man

9:05

with $8 in his account, and

9:08

I stopped at an Exxon Mobil

9:10

and I put $4 in my

9:12

beat-up Prius and I kind of

9:14

had one of those like, God,

9:16

if you're out there, if you're

9:18

out there, if you're out there,

9:20

if you're out there, What the

9:23

hell am I missing here? Because

9:25

I'm a really good dude. I'm

9:27

helping people I'm leaning in I'm

9:29

like really showing up and yet

9:31

I'm broke as a joke and

9:33

I got an internal hit call

9:35

your mom and Ask for help

9:37

and I did and she said

9:40

oh, yeah, come on home and

9:42

The irony of this and I'm

9:44

in this story my mom let

9:46

me move back in and up

9:48

until that point. I had only

9:50

be making about 36,000 dollars a

9:52

year and I moved on with

9:55

my mom and I invested all

9:57

the money I was using on

9:59

the apartment and... bills and all

10:01

that stuff into coaches, therapists,

10:04

workshops, seminars. I

10:06

did everything you possibly

10:08

could to soak up. I knew

10:10

somebody had it figured out and

10:13

I didn't have it figured

10:15

out and that year I went

10:17

from 36,000 to 150,000

10:19

and then I jumped from

10:21

150 to 300,000 and 300,000

10:23

to 600,000 and 600, 1.2

10:26

million and I just literally

10:28

took off. And I figured out

10:30

these principles and how the, in

10:32

my opinion, how the laws of

10:35

the universe work in some ways. And

10:37

I just started using them. And it

10:39

worked. And it's continued to work.

10:42

So there's a lot more to

10:44

my childhood, including being in special

10:46

needs classes and feeling like the

10:48

dumb person in the room and

10:50

an imposter. But I'll stop there.

10:52

Thank you so much for sharing that

10:55

story. I feel really honored to have

10:57

a unique. story here and can relate

10:59

so much to that. You know, I've talked

11:01

on here many times about when I was

11:03

growing up, it was just my mom and

11:05

I, she raised me as a single mom. We

11:07

had a lot of financial hardships, she also

11:10

had a lot of stress and learning

11:12

that same patterning of like when I

11:14

am stressed out, when I have big

11:16

emotions, when I have big needs, it

11:19

is, it's too much for her, right?

11:21

And at that very subconscious level, feeling

11:23

her stress level, esqually and her dissociation,

11:26

and her dissociation. in that moment and

11:28

then her nervous system is like gone

11:30

from mine and learning that I have

11:33

to repress some of that in order

11:35

to maintain that connection and how

11:37

those patterns like you talked about

11:39

they get so woven in to all

11:41

facets of our life and how we

11:44

are anywhere is how we show up

11:46

everywhere and so it comes through in

11:48

our financial patterns and to this day

11:50

I'm I'm also the same way with

11:52

my partner we have our separate accounts

11:54

and we just after like We bought

11:57

a house together, we lived together, but

11:59

we just... opened up like a

12:01

joint checking, so it's a work

12:03

in progress. Love it. Yeah, it's

12:05

an unfolding for sure. Before we

12:07

dive too deep, I'd like to

12:10

just kind of give people a

12:12

higher level idea of what financial

12:14

trauma might look like, because I

12:16

think it's not always as straightforward

12:18

as it seems, I think it

12:20

can be growing up in a

12:22

home where there's a lot of

12:25

scarcity, unpredictability around resources, maybe you

12:27

move a lot as a kid,

12:29

maybe there's cycles of debt. that

12:31

you see your parents going through

12:33

or the financial stress, I think

12:35

it can also come from emotional

12:38

neglect on kind of on the

12:40

flip side of that when our

12:42

parents only use money and things

12:44

as their only avenue of expressing

12:46

love and care for a child.

12:48

So I think there's all these

12:50

different ways that we can get

12:53

a like a skewed relationship to

12:55

money through our different experience of

12:57

trauma. And I just wondered like,

12:59

how would you define financial trauma

13:01

for people who are just starting

13:03

to kind of wrap their minds

13:06

around that. Yeah, I'm definitely going

13:08

to hit that, but I'm just

13:10

going to step even further back

13:12

from it. So one of the

13:14

things that I've been teaching for

13:16

years is that there's four aspects

13:18

of what it means to be

13:21

a human being. We are biological

13:23

beings, right? That's pretty clear. We

13:25

got physical bodies, those bodies do

13:27

stuff. We are linguistic beings, meaning

13:29

we build worlds with our language.

13:31

without the language of door and

13:34

door knob, getting out of a

13:36

room would be very challenging. But

13:38

with the language, I can do

13:40

things and experience life different. We

13:42

are quantum beings, which is a

13:44

whole other can of worms. And

13:46

then the fourth one, which is

13:49

the one I want to stop

13:51

on, is we are social and

13:53

historical beings. Meaning, all of us,

13:55

we're born into beliefs and interpretations.

13:57

And so... One of the biggest

13:59

things I have my clients do

14:01

is make a list of all

14:04

of the beliefs and interpretations that

14:06

you were born into around money,

14:08

around women in money. men and

14:10

money, how it should be spent,

14:12

how it shouldn't be spent, because

14:14

all of those things will support

14:17

in understanding how we take shape

14:19

in the world. And so my

14:21

shape was playing not to lose.

14:23

If I cover all bases and

14:25

I, you know, make sure everybody's

14:27

good, then I will be safe

14:29

enough to be myself. But even

14:32

then I only did it outside.

14:34

So... addressing the things someone heard.

14:36

And now I'm just going straight

14:38

to the question of trauma and

14:40

money. What did you hear around

14:42

money? Many people grew up in

14:45

sort of Christian households, if you

14:47

may, that spoke to money as

14:49

the root of all evil. They

14:51

took that Bible verse and they

14:53

sort of shifted it around and

14:55

made it about greed. And so

14:57

that's something you heard often. which

15:00

can instantly create trauma if you

15:02

hear something enough, because it becomes

15:04

an imprint in your consciousness. Again,

15:06

because our nervous systems are being

15:08

formed between zero and seven years

15:10

old, and then we add on

15:13

more trauma, more shame, more guilt,

15:15

and occurrences. What you felt around

15:17

money, right? That's a whole other

15:19

can of worms. What did I

15:21

feel? Like, when it was time

15:23

to pay rent or the mortgage,

15:25

what were the feelings? What was

15:28

the tone in the room? Because

15:30

we're energy beings, right? We could

15:32

feel when something feels good and

15:34

we can feel when something feels

15:36

constricted and tight or aggressive. What

15:38

were the feelings? Then the third

15:41

one would be what big events

15:43

occurred that changed the trajectory of

15:45

my life? Right? So, and I'd

15:47

love if you feel open for

15:49

both of you to answer this

15:51

question and I'll definitely answer it.

15:53

And I'll definitely answer it. For

15:56

me, my mom's an accountant. So

15:58

my dad took a... the role

16:00

as the fuck up or the

16:02

screw up. And my mom took

16:04

on the role of the responsible

16:06

one. And so for me, it's

16:08

like, oh, there's no space to

16:10

mess things up. And what my mom

16:13

would do is she would tell us,

16:15

like, hey, we're, it's tight. If anything

16:17

goes wrong, we don't have

16:19

a problem. And so she said

16:21

that enough to where it

16:23

stuck in my consciousness. And

16:25

when she would say, hey, do you

16:28

want $5 for lunch? I would say no,

16:30

just give me $2.50 and I would

16:32

always take less. Well, that was

16:34

a major event for me in some

16:36

ways because it was perpetual. There's

16:38

so many times it happened that

16:41

it became one thing for me,

16:43

which is if anything goes wrong,

16:45

if I lose my job, if

16:47

you break your leg, if you

16:49

need braces, if something goes wrong

16:52

with you, if there's an unexpected

16:54

bill, we are going to have

16:56

a problem. I became the type

16:58

of kid where I have no

17:00

problems. So what would that be for

17:02

you two, just out of curiosity?

17:05

Like a big money event or something

17:07

that like landed in your consciousness.

17:10

Preston, what you shared was so relatable

17:12

for me. My mom was a bookkeeper

17:14

and my dad went from blue color

17:17

to white color. He's an iron worker.

17:19

He was our provider. And my mom,

17:21

we've always called her our manager. She

17:24

is the one who has always controlled

17:26

and dictated the finances and if I

17:28

were going to be a celebrity, my

17:30

mom would be my manager. Like, she

17:33

has always been the manager. But she's

17:35

also... She's got a major control issues

17:37

because she has such driving perfectionism and

17:40

so her financial trauma goes right into

17:42

the perfectionism and so I am someone

17:44

who is also used to just I

17:46

will take less. It happens I notice

17:48

it in my scarcity of grocery shopping

17:50

instead of going to the grocery store

17:52

and buying a couple hundred dollars of

17:55

whatever I need I will go back

17:57

and forth to H.E.B. Let me just

17:59

get what... I need, let me just

18:01

get what I need for these couple

18:03

days, what any, and it's like, it's

18:05

so much outward energy, and for my

18:08

mom, one of the phrases that she

18:10

always used to say was robbing Peter

18:12

to pay Paul. That. And I'm doing

18:14

that. I'm always, do, do, do, do,

18:16

do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

18:18

And I'm making calculations. from backwards. Okay,

18:20

I have this, what can I do

18:23

from here? And if I do this

18:25

and I can't do this. If I

18:27

do this and I can't do this

18:29

and I'm always negotiating what I can

18:31

and cannot do. And a lot of

18:33

times I can do both of the

18:36

things or all of the things. And

18:38

so the energy of strategizing and controlling

18:40

the money is like really something that

18:42

I work with. And I do have

18:44

more to share around the financial trauma,

18:46

but I'm going to let Elizabeth jump

18:49

in here to answer this question. That's

18:51

really big too. Thank you for sharing

18:53

that. Yeah, thank you both. Those are

18:55

really good examples. I was thinking as

18:57

you were talking, you know, with my

18:59

mom, she always was very, her saying

19:01

was like money is just a tool

19:04

to get us things. We don't stress

19:06

about it. but her actions were really

19:08

different, right? Because my mom was a

19:10

real deal workaholic and I don't even

19:12

think it had so much to do

19:14

with the money as trauma and stories

19:17

from her past of worthiness and needing

19:19

to earn, she would pass up raises.

19:21

Like her boss would offer her a

19:23

raise and she'd be like, no, I

19:25

don't deserve that, give it to other

19:27

people. And she would go to work

19:30

at 5 a. Come back. take me

19:32

to school, drop me off, I would

19:34

get home, latchkey kid, she wouldn't get

19:36

home from the office until one or

19:38

two in the morning, fall asleep on

19:40

the couch, rinse and repeat. And so

19:42

I really learned, I used to think

19:45

of it as a very strong work

19:47

ethic. I would always say like I

19:49

may not be the funniest person in

19:51

the room, the prettiest person in the

19:53

room, but you cannot outwork me. And

19:55

I lived my life in that way

19:58

of like I will earn my... my

20:00

fourth to like exist to be alive

20:02

by the amount of work that I

20:04

put in. And so undoing some of

20:06

those patterns of like hustle

20:08

and drive and even just teaching

20:10

my nervous system like it's safe

20:13

to relax to rest has been

20:15

huge and quite a journey as

20:17

Jennifer can attest to. That's so

20:19

good. Let me just high five and

20:21

tap on this. If you grew up

20:24

in the Western world you're probably

20:26

going to relate to this at

20:28

some level. And that's that, and

20:30

none of our parents do

20:32

this on purpose, and anybody

20:34

listening who's been doing this

20:37

with your own children, please

20:39

hear me, I'm not shaming you, I

20:41

just want you to understand

20:43

something. Little kids are so

20:45

malleable, and early on, most of

20:48

us grew up in households, where

20:50

if we did what Mommy and

20:52

Daddy deemed as good, we got

20:54

time, toys, love, attention. If we

20:56

did what daddy and mommy

20:58

deemed not good or carrot

21:00

taker, they would take away

21:02

their time, toys, love, attention.

21:04

So this is the core, to

21:07

me this is one of

21:09

the core trauma wounds around

21:11

money even though it's not

21:13

directly connected to it because

21:16

we were taught unconsciously a

21:18

layaway plan where we needed to

21:20

work for the love. work for

21:22

the toys, work for the time

21:24

with our parents. Therefore we're always

21:27

on this layaway plan, right? Get

21:29

good grades, you can get into

21:31

college, get into college and get

21:33

good grades, you can get a

21:35

good job, get a good job

21:37

so you can find a good

21:39

partner, find a good partner so you

21:41

can have kids, you know, and on and

21:43

on and on. And none of that is,

21:45

hey, I love you no matter what. Hey.

21:48

I understand this school system thinks you

21:50

should think like this or talk like this

21:52

or walk like this, but you have a

21:54

different intelligence. And so that to

21:56

me is one of the biggest core traumas

21:58

that most of us... grew up in

22:01

that we didn't even recognize was

22:03

there. And it's some of the

22:05

biggest work I do with our

22:07

kids right now. Like our son

22:10

got sent home from school yesterday.

22:12

And because he threatened one of

22:14

the teachers and I had to

22:16

move out of my own, like,

22:19

what does this mean about me

22:21

and my parenting and X Y

22:23

and go, what does this child

22:25

need? All behavior is communication. What

22:28

is he communicating? What does he

22:30

need? What's going on? What am

22:32

I missing? How can I get

22:34

closer to him and hold a

22:37

boundary not as punishment? But as

22:39

a pillar that he can lean

22:41

up against and those are all

22:43

the things I did not get

22:46

as a child Right and most

22:48

of us didn't get that and

22:50

so to me the core trauma

22:52

is teaching our parents taking their

22:54

love away when we weren't good

22:57

boys and good girls Let me

22:59

just say this We do a

23:01

workshop and we've been doing this

23:03

workshop for almost 11 or 12

23:06

years, 11 years, called the Bridge

23:08

Experience. And it's a trauma-based, somatic,

23:10

experiential workshop where the participants are

23:12

the workshop. There's no notes. You

23:15

are it. And I'm going to

23:17

ask you to answer this and

23:19

guess. We do a particular exercise

23:21

called solidarity, where we have people

23:24

in a U-shape arc. And one

23:26

by one, each person, goes to

23:28

the front of the you, and

23:30

they share something they've held guilt

23:33

or shame around, and their deepest,

23:35

darkest secrets. Some version of that.

23:37

What do you think the percentage

23:39

is, men and women, of people

23:42

who've experienced some type of sexual

23:44

trauma? A lot. For women, all

23:46

of them. You're talking to the

23:48

wrong people. We believe it, like

23:51

100 percent of the people? Like,

23:53

that's where my... I'm at 90

23:55

to 100 percent. Yeah, I agree

23:57

about the same. Yeah, I mean,

24:00

Costa Rica, Africa, Canada, New York,

24:02

Australia, New Zealand, London, we've done

24:04

this everywhere, we've done it all

24:06

over the world, and it's the

24:09

same results every single time, about

24:11

80 to 90% of the room

24:13

has been sexually abused in some

24:15

form or fashion, and they hid

24:18

it. They hid it out of

24:20

shame. Now why? We can just go,

24:22

oh my God, poor these people, but

24:24

to go a layer deeper deeper

24:26

and ask ourselves, what made

24:28

them hide it? for me connects

24:30

back to the good girl and the

24:33

good boy. If my identity is I have

24:35

to be a good girl to get

24:37

mommy's love. I have to be a perfect

24:39

Christian boy to get mommy or

24:41

daddy's attention in time. Then if

24:43

somebody, if a person molests me

24:45

or rapes me or hurts me,

24:48

then there must be something dirty or

24:50

wrong about me. And therefore I

24:52

will keep that close. And then I

24:54

get, the body holds onto trauma

24:56

like water holds onto a sponge.

24:59

And then these people are dense and they

25:01

walk into these rooms. That's why they come

25:03

to us. They come into these rooms all

25:05

dense and they leave free because it's been

25:07

living in their body for so long. And

25:10

they just need permission to be who

25:12

they are. It's not only though

25:14

like developmental sexual trauma like women

25:16

are living with sexual boundary violations.

25:18

All the time. It's not just

25:21

from development. It is just like

25:23

from living in this world and

25:25

walking around in. The world is dangerous for

25:27

bodies. It's not just women's bodies. And

25:29

I do really want to dive into

25:31

sexual trauma, but first there's also something

25:33

I want to circle back to because

25:35

I really think I want to get

25:37

talk about emotional neglect for a minute

25:39

because I think this also goes to

25:42

what you were saying about like love

25:44

being leveraged with money and like the

25:46

time love money toys thing because if

25:48

Emotional neglect is one of my ACE

25:50

scores. And so what I learned when

25:52

I started healing my nervous system and

25:54

learning about subconscious patterns, like stepping back

25:56

from, you know, what is this broader picture for

25:58

how I've been patterned, I really... learned that

26:00

my parents provide for me and

26:02

that is how they show their

26:04

love and for many years decades

26:07

I was so angry at those

26:09

provisions I was defiant I was

26:11

ungrateful I couldn't understand like where

26:13

is the emotional connection like you

26:15

guys I share a lot of

26:17

similarities with your stories that you

26:19

share about growing up dissociation like

26:21

single mom and our financial situation

26:23

changed when I was about six

26:25

years old and so we started

26:28

living a little bit differently and

26:30

I think that's when the providing

26:32

patterns really got a little bit

26:34

stronger. And so there's a couple

26:36

things here that really involve uncoupling

26:38

for me in my body. because

26:40

what I realized that was through

26:42

these patterns of emotional neglect and

26:44

financial providing that there's deeply entrenched

26:46

codependent patterns rooted in lack and

26:49

I had to start healing some

26:51

of the biggest patternings were from

26:53

perfectionism how I was showing up

26:55

and being in the expression of

26:57

my truth and being able to

26:59

use my voice I started learning

27:01

that I was denying love. If

27:03

my parents show me love by

27:05

providing for me then I'm receiving.

27:07

I have denied myself of that

27:10

love so much and now I

27:12

really want to receive it, but

27:14

there's energetic boundaries in that, right?

27:16

Like what is the intention? I

27:18

have to try and read their

27:20

intention. I have to tune into

27:22

my intention and like it's really

27:24

about aligned receiving, not just receiving

27:26

everything that they want to throw

27:28

at me. I have to be

27:31

in alignment with that. And then

27:33

there's like... boundaries, my boundaries, because

27:35

part of my patterning is understanding

27:37

that I can manipulate this situation.

27:39

When I need love, I can

27:41

find all these little ways that

27:43

I will start to manipulate my

27:45

mom so that I can live,

27:47

like I will overspend intentionally and

27:49

be like, well, I really need

27:52

my supplements, I'm really into my

27:54

healthy lifestyle, and I might be

27:56

pushing. myself a little bit beyond

27:58

my means right now, but that's

28:00

okay. My mom's got me. I

28:02

will manipulate that. I will get

28:04

my needs met in some way

28:06

or when yeah, when I'm seeking

28:08

love and you know, I have

28:11

had to learn how to find

28:13

that self-compassion for myself and find

28:15

the love that I seek within

28:17

myself and really from God. That

28:19

is where I resource from, but

28:21

something you brought up earlier when

28:23

you told that story, that vulnerable

28:25

story about your mom, was that

28:27

money is dangerous, bringing up money

28:29

is dangerous, and it is, it

28:32

still is. And so I hide.

28:34

I hide things that I do

28:36

that are sometimes really exciting, but

28:38

I don't want to hear about

28:40

the lack that I could potentially

28:42

face, and so it's very messy,

28:44

and it like all lives in

28:46

my body. And it's tricky. Oh,

28:48

let's go. I love this. I

28:50

love people who reveal, right? Because

28:53

in our space, it's easy to

28:55

pretend like you're perfect, right? But

28:57

you're not, and nobody is, and

28:59

everybody is, and it's like a

29:01

beautiful mess, right? And one of

29:03

the most beautiful things I've figured

29:05

out is that spirit, God, can

29:07

only do for me, what it

29:09

can do through me. And so

29:11

my big work isn't about making

29:14

it welcome. Then I go, okay,

29:16

well, what's in the way of

29:18

making it welcome? What's in the

29:20

way? Oh, I have to cut

29:22

the cord of trading time for

29:24

money. Because that's something I inherited

29:26

growing up in this Western world.

29:28

You work hard to get a

29:30

paycheck. It's always time for money.

29:32

So I have to divorce that

29:35

aspect to cut that cord. Oh,

29:37

what's in the way? Well, I

29:39

have a fear of not belonging.

29:41

So if I get too rich,

29:43

if I get too bright, then

29:45

I may be further away from

29:47

my friends' family and people I

29:49

love. Ah, got to cut that

29:51

cord too. And so I love

29:53

what you're saying because you're heat-seeking.

29:56

You're like a heat-seeking missile for

29:58

the things that aren't serving you.

30:00

anymore and as we bring them to

30:02

the light and feel them to the

30:04

degree that they need to be felt

30:06

they dissipate and go away and

30:09

sometimes fully sometimes half of them

30:11

but the name of the

30:13

game is spaciousness because you know

30:15

when I look out I'm here on four

30:17

acres and there's there's three houses

30:19

even on this property right it's

30:21

so crazy to me because I

30:23

do not grow up like this,

30:25

but I'm fucking rich, right? It's

30:27

awesome, right? And I look out

30:29

at these trees, and I'm like,

30:31

holy shit. Each one of these trees

30:34

was ordained by God. Each one of

30:36

the leaves, the branches, each one, God

30:38

said, do your thing, right? And each,

30:40

every morning I come out and I

30:43

look at the trees, there's hundreds of

30:45

them. Each one of them was like,

30:47

boom, look at me, bitch. Look at

30:49

me, look at me, look at, right,

30:52

I dropped my leaves today. That's

30:54

our work because the fruit doesn't

30:56

belong to the tree the fruit

30:59

belongs to the ecosystem Our job

31:01

as a tree is to

31:03

shine is to express is to

31:06

expand is to experience God's love

31:08

and only the way that we

31:10

can and This is why

31:12

I get so pumped and excited

31:15

about this particular subject matter because

31:17

money is a byproduct money's

31:19

a side effect money comes

31:22

from cleaning oneself to all

31:24

that circulates, including this

31:26

sort of fake digital thing

31:29

that we have and sometimes cut

31:31

a tree and then put some

31:33

green stuff on it and say,

31:35

oh, that's valuable. I'm a

31:37

yes to it all. Yes, God, do your

31:39

thing. Use me. It's less about the

31:41

trying to get it, and it's

31:43

more about becoming so, such an

31:45

of course with it, that it

31:47

just wants to flow through you. I

31:50

love it so much and as I

31:52

was reading your book and you were

31:54

talking about like being a conduit sort

31:56

of for the power for the electricity

31:58

to flow through you it. felt that

32:00

very deeply in my body. I

32:02

think you articulate it so well

32:04

in the book and it's just

32:07

a really powerful experience. And as

32:09

I was reading that and thinking

32:11

about the saying yes, yes to

32:13

the things that want to flow

32:15

through me, I was also, I

32:17

was thinking about sexual abuse, so

32:19

I'm going to bring it back

32:22

to that because as you know,

32:24

the listeners on here know, incest

32:26

is part of my story. It's

32:28

not an uncommon thing, like you

32:30

talked about, or whether that's early

32:32

childhood, sexual abuse or the things

32:34

that we experience later in life,

32:37

but there are places where I

32:39

feel like that particular wound, imprints

32:41

in the body in such a

32:43

way that it can really show

32:45

up in our financial health because

32:47

of some of these things that

32:49

you talk about, like being able

32:52

to see it and feel it

32:54

often. Well, if I've experienced these

32:56

big... Big experiences for a little

32:58

developing body. I learned dissociation as

33:00

a frequently occurring protective mechanism and

33:02

then that carries into adulthood and

33:04

I have deficits in my interceptive

33:06

system and it's scary to feel

33:09

the sensations inside and I have

33:11

a huge very active shame response

33:13

that immobilizes my body and creates

33:15

inflammation and I'm not able to

33:17

express the emotions. easily. It was

33:19

a long process of getting there

33:21

and being able to mobilize and

33:24

express the emotions. So I have

33:26

well-worn pathways of shame and inflammation

33:28

and boundaries are such a really

33:30

challenging event in my body to

33:32

set. And so I think as

33:34

people are working in this in

33:36

this way of trying to Be

33:39

the channel to feel and express

33:41

so that things can come through.

33:43

I just think there's a lot

33:45

of connections there between early childhood

33:47

sexual abuse and the way that

33:49

we get blocked from our abundance

33:51

Yes, I agree as you know,

33:53

but I'll share with the audience,

33:56

I also had a not so

33:58

awesome experience as a child with

34:00

a family friend's son. And I

34:02

don't remember all of it because

34:04

the brain does that when you

34:06

go into these spaces it sort

34:08

of chops the memories up. And

34:11

so I just remember the uncomfortable

34:13

feeling, him turning the lights out,

34:15

locking the door, and just touching

34:17

me in inappropriate ways without my

34:19

permission. for a long time that

34:21

played into the part of me

34:23

that believed that I was special

34:26

in my wounds. I used to

34:28

say, in any given room, I'd

34:30

be like, oh yeah, these people

34:32

are messed up, but they're not

34:34

as messed up as me. I

34:36

almost gave myself a hierarchy of

34:38

how messed up I was, and

34:40

I'm special in my wounds. And

34:43

what I've sort of come to

34:45

work through and work with is

34:47

I was gifted with him doing

34:49

that. Because it also, and hear

34:51

me loud and clear, I'm not

34:53

saying that that behavior was okay.

34:55

But if I can pull far

34:58

enough back, right, there's something called

35:00

chaos theory. Essentially, you pull far

35:02

enough back, you can see the

35:04

fundamental order of everything. It looks

35:06

like chaos, but there's actually order.

35:08

And so if I pull far

35:10

enough back... And I step out

35:13

of the part of me that

35:15

as a personality and all the

35:17

things and I just look at

35:19

it objectively. What has occurred in

35:21

this lifetime? What's going on here?

35:23

Oh, well, Preston, you're pretty deep.

35:25

And you have such a beautiful

35:27

heart, especially for people who've been

35:30

hurt and harmed. There's a part

35:32

of you that can reach into

35:34

people's souls and help their nervous

35:36

system go, oh, right? Even for

35:38

the rocks, the people who hold

35:40

people, you can hold the rocks.

35:42

That didn't just happen, bro. Right?

35:45

What occurred where you can go

35:47

that deep? What occurred where you

35:49

can hit the bottom of something

35:51

and go, still got you? Yeah,

35:53

I'm, I've hooked up to you.

35:55

All right, I felt that too.

35:57

And here's what's possible. And so

36:00

for me, yes, I've had to

36:02

work through the part of me

36:04

that did not trust men. Like

36:06

after that happened, I didn't play

36:08

football. I didn't do anything where

36:10

a man could grab me. I

36:12

stayed close to the people who

36:14

I trusted, but everything I wanted

36:17

was outside of those circles. And

36:19

so this goes back to that.

36:21

abundance and specifically money because we

36:23

are social beings. I watch my

36:25

kids, I have four kids, I

36:27

watch those little suckers fight over

36:29

the stupidest things. And then they

36:32

get mad and they feel what

36:34

they feel and they come, oh

36:36

you took my cookie or my

36:38

toy or whatever the case may

36:40

be. And then ten minutes later

36:42

they are running around the house

36:44

playing, they're off back in the

36:47

fields with each other. Because they

36:49

cannot beat their biology, there's a

36:51

part of them that needs each

36:53

other, right? And so we need

36:55

proximity to level each other up.

36:57

This is the point of a

36:59

podcast like this. It's the point

37:02

of new friendships. But if I

37:04

stick to my safe circle, then

37:06

there's no space and room for

37:08

the growth that needs to happen

37:10

based on intimacy. Actually, I was

37:12

taken and kidnapped in Turkey in

37:14

2009? And so even I had

37:16

beliefs that I'd like forget the

37:19

weight that I had put on

37:21

as a child from early boundary

37:23

violations, but then it was like,

37:25

oh, I can never look better

37:27

than I do right now at

37:29

39. Wait, 35, whatever. Can you

37:31

remember right now? It's just like,

37:34

because I will be hurt. So

37:36

I still have been doing that.

37:38

But like, I really want to

37:40

circle back to you saying that

37:42

this early developmental trauma was a

37:44

gift and has gems in it

37:46

because we really truly believe this

37:49

too. And this is something that

37:51

it can be really challenging for

37:53

our listeners to accept and we

37:55

get comments about that. this have

37:57

happened and this is a gift

37:59

and I have a teacher that

38:01

I work with and she says

38:03

life doesn't give us the things

38:06

that we can't handle it gives

38:08

us the things that shape us

38:10

into who we are and so

38:12

it took so much time and

38:14

work and energy and looking at

38:16

all of these things to really

38:18

realize that the sexual trauma for

38:20

me was a huge gift gifted

38:22

me with with what makes Me good

38:25

at what I do now not

38:27

just in my work, but as

38:29

a human walking around and even

38:31

the emotional neglect that I experience

38:33

that is a gift. Yes, there

38:35

are gifts I mean I am

38:37

I am like a pattern-busting Ninja

38:39

around here recently and I love

38:41

that I'm finding myself more and

38:43

more and the narratives just the

38:45

volume dials are so much more

38:47

turned down on the hyper vigilance

38:49

and it just makes the patterns

38:51

that are circulating for me

38:53

a little bit more manageable

38:55

that the chaos doesn't get

38:57

too overwhelming. And the shame, it's like

38:59

shame on shame on shame on shame

39:01

because it's like all the all the

39:04

things and then like financial

39:06

burdens bring about shame and like

39:08

we know about like inflammation, the

39:10

immobilization of the body and I

39:13

really love the way that you

39:15

talk about functional freeze. with money?

39:18

Would you explore a little bit

39:20

of that with us? Like shame

39:22

and functional freeze and that

39:24

aspect of what can be coming

39:27

in with money? Yes. Oh man,

39:29

there's so many places to go

39:31

with all of this. So just to

39:33

recap, and I know you all

39:35

teach this, but I'm going to

39:37

remind everybody just one more time

39:39

that the goal is a relaxed body.

39:42

The goal is a unclinched

39:44

butt hole. The goal is...

39:46

just yes yes and thank

39:48

you that's my mantra daily

39:50

even when it's not good

39:52

even when my wife and

39:54

I are fighting just yes I

39:57

hear you God and thank you

39:59

right so fight, go back to

40:01

caveman, cavewoman, we're partially still animals

40:03

and that reptilian part of our

40:06

brain is epic and it has

40:08

its way of protecting us, but

40:10

know that we're safe. Going back

40:12

to freeze, a lot of times

40:15

people will be in a functional

40:17

freeze pattern in general. and that

40:19

touches their money, it touches their

40:22

sex, it touches their expression across

40:24

the board. And some of the

40:26

big work is to awaken oneself

40:29

out of these spaces by doing

40:31

what I call a all needs

40:33

met alarm or a joy alarm.

40:35

So I have two different exercises

40:38

that I do and I want

40:40

to just bring this to your

40:42

crew because you can use this

40:45

right now. The moment this podcast

40:47

is over you can start this

40:49

exercise. And so I do this

40:51

with my one-on-one clients and I

40:54

do it in a group. And

40:56

I'll start with the joy alarm.

40:58

The joy alarm is simple. I

41:01

was doing a lot of mushrooms

41:03

in Joshua Tree California many many

41:05

years ago and I had a

41:08

moment where I burst into just

41:10

pure joy and all I could

41:12

see was the face of God.

41:14

everywhere and on those rocks I

41:17

noted what if you did this

41:19

tomorrow when you're back home and

41:21

the next day and so drive

41:24

back to LA from Joshua Tree

41:26

go to sleep wake up the

41:28

next morning and I decide that

41:30

I'm gonna set five alarms and

41:33

every time the alarm goes off

41:35

I'm gonna see the face of

41:37

God and I'm gonna burst into

41:40

spontaneous joy to wake myself up

41:42

from any functional freeze I might

41:44

have in my nervous system that

41:46

I don't even know about. Because

41:49

again, it's not, we think that

41:51

it's specifically money, it's not, God,

41:53

the universe, all of that, it

41:56

does not care. It is a

41:58

yes button and to the degree

42:00

that you are open, available and

42:03

alive is the degree that you

42:05

will experience all of those things

42:07

and then some and anything you

42:09

pointed at will amplify because of

42:12

how clean you are. And so

42:14

I recognized I was not clean

42:16

in certain areas. And so every

42:19

time the alarm goes off you

42:21

burst into spontaneous joy using your

42:23

voice. And you laugh and

42:25

you shake and I would do it in

42:28

a coffee shop I would do it in

42:30

line at the grocery store and Couple things

42:32

happen number one Over like a span of

42:34

a week my baseline. Let's say 10 is

42:37

you were experiencing pure elation one is you're

42:39

depressed and you want to die right my

42:41

baseline at that time was like a five

42:43

And I did this for one week and

42:45

I was like I'm like in an eight

42:48

nine area just like starting the morning out

42:50

like not even trying I am operating at

42:52

a higher level of consciousness and I know

42:54

it this feels like I'm on mushrooms but

42:57

I'm not on mushrooms right and so that's

42:59

my one invitation for stepping out of functional

43:01

freeze is actually just wake yourself up on

43:03

purpose well just that I love that and

43:06

it's something that how we would refer to

43:08

it around here is minimum effective dose of

43:10

joy. Because we're always talking about finding that

43:12

sweet spot. What can my nervous system have

43:14

the capacity to hold, right? And if I'm

43:17

expecting myself to be able to just move

43:19

into this completely different way of being, that's...

43:21

maybe setting myself up for failure. So it

43:23

started from me really small with like sensory

43:26

stimulus that my nervous system likes or making

43:28

a vocal sound and then these little moments

43:30

of intentionally celebrating a win when instead of

43:32

just going right to the next thing put

43:35

on some music, make some sounds, rolled around

43:37

on the floor, relax, whatever it is and

43:39

that I really feel like that repetition and

43:41

you talk a lot about this in your

43:43

book like putting the reps. and

43:46

to repatter in the

43:48

nervous system is just,

43:50

it's so, so important

43:52

and it can completely

43:55

change like you said,

43:57

like that baseline level

43:59

through that repetition at

44:01

the dose that we

44:04

can have the capacity

44:06

to positively adapt to

44:08

in our nervous system.

44:10

Correct. That's exactly it.

44:12

And there's no judgment.

44:15

Like it's wherever you

44:17

are is where you

44:19

are. So three core

44:21

desires all humans are always looking

44:23

to check off. What do you

44:25

think those three are? Love. Okay.

44:27

I was going to say safety

44:29

and connection. Boom. Okay. Those are

44:31

the top two. The third one

44:33

is in case those don't happen.

44:35

No. Because this is, let's go

44:38

back to like we're in East

44:40

Africa, the first humans. So the

44:42

first humans, they're in a cave.

44:44

You need to, if we're all

44:46

three of us are in the

44:48

cave, you need to feel like

44:50

I love you, like you belong,

44:52

like you're appreciated, like you matter.

44:55

Otherwise, if

44:57

I don't like you, love you,

44:59

appreciate you. And let's say Jennifer,

45:02

it's Elizabeth and I don't like

45:04

you, love you, appreciate you. Then

45:06

what could happen? I'm going to

45:08

die. Correct. Because if we cast

45:10

you out of that cave, what

45:12

are the likelihood of you surviving?

45:14

Small. Correct. Right. And I'm going

45:16

to be feeling so bad. That.

45:19

That. All of the above. Okay.

45:21

Okay. So before I go to

45:23

the third one, what are some

45:25

types of security that we have

45:27

in our modern world right now,

45:29

Elizabeth or Jennifer? Shelter. Yes. Food.

45:31

Food. Energy. Community.

45:34

Yes. Yeah. Relationships. Yes.

45:36

Modern world. What kind

45:38

of security do we

45:40

always look for? Modern

45:42

world. Communication. Yes. Go

45:44

wider. People say it

45:46

all the time. Financial

45:48

security. Oh. Financial security.

45:50

Yes. Financial security. Occupational.

45:52

Mmm. Yes. Relational. Right.

45:55

So it's a spectrum and there's so

45:57

much to it, but there's three core

45:59

desires, three core wants. All humans are

46:01

always. to check off, right? The third one is control, also

46:03

known as manipulation, and I

46:05

will try to control an

46:07

order for you to like me so that

46:09

I feel safe. How could I have

46:12

not got that? I've already admitted

46:14

it. So this comes with the car.

46:16

It's like a steering wheel. All

46:18

humans are always unconsciously looking

46:20

to have those things occur.

46:22

And there's a spectrum and

46:25

there's all kinds of stuff

46:27

in between, but at the core.

46:29

Do I belong? Do you like me?

46:31

Do you approve of me? Am

46:33

I safe? Am I safe? Am I safe

46:35

in this chair? Am I safe in this

46:38

house? Am I safe in our relationship?

46:41

Am I safe in my job? Am

46:43

I safe with my money? Right? We

46:45

can go on and on and on.

46:47

If those things don't feel like

46:50

they're solid, then I will work

46:52

out. I will figure out

46:54

ways to get you to approve

46:56

of me. I'll get... perfect children.

46:58

Whatever I got to do for

47:00

you to think I'm good and

47:02

safe inside the community. So what

47:04

I do with my clients is we

47:06

establish this and then I give

47:09

them this assignment which I'm about

47:11

to give everybody on your podcast.

47:13

So three to five times a day I

47:15

have my clients stop. This is

47:17

the approval control security alarm. The

47:19

moment the alarm goes off, you

47:21

stop and you scan your body.

47:23

instantly. Okay, what's going on? My

47:25

jaw is tight. Ooh, feeling anxious.

47:27

Okay, that's interesting. Oh, wow, shoulders

47:29

are up. Okay, wow, okay. Just

47:32

notice. This is a neutral scan.

47:34

Just we're noticing what's occurring. Then

47:36

we look that way. We look

47:38

back to the past. And we go,

47:40

what was I just giving my power

47:42

to? What was I just thinking? Who

47:44

was I just talking to? What was

47:46

the dynamics that were occurring? We just

47:49

scan the past. Because the pass, especially

47:51

the reset pass, will help us understand why

47:53

my jaw is tight and my shoulders are

47:55

up, right? Then, and this is the most

47:57

important part of the exercise.

48:00

Or second, most important. Now I go

48:02

to, I need to fact check, because

48:04

what I do with my clients often

48:06

is I say, is that a factor

48:09

of philosophy? They'll speak something as if

48:11

it's a fact, but it's actually a

48:13

philosophy. So I'm going to fact check

48:16

what my body is always looking to

48:18

check off. So let's start with security,

48:20

right? So I have the clients do

48:23

this. Okay, am I safe? Okay? Pretty

48:25

sure I'm good, nothing's coming, no cars

48:27

coming to hit me. I'm safe as

48:30

I can be. Okay, so that's a

48:32

lie, right? My body, my all mine

48:34

was just telling me that I wasn't

48:37

safe. Okay, I'm safe. Number two, do

48:39

I approve of me? Am I a

48:41

good person? Like, do I get to

48:44

be here? Okay, check. Pretty sure I'm

48:46

worthy of living. Okay, number three. Is

48:48

everything that I can control in control?

48:51

Here the word can. Because we can

48:53

make a list of all the things,

48:55

but you can't control whether there's going

48:58

to be an earthquake. You can't control

49:00

whether the stock market goes up and

49:02

down. Everything that can control and control.

49:05

Well, yeah, I know that I'm picking

49:07

the kids up in 30 minutes. I

49:09

know that I'm going to have that

49:12

conversation with my wife. I know we're

49:14

eating at such and such. Okay, check,

49:16

check, check. Here's the best part and

49:19

the most important part of the exercise.

49:21

Then, if those three are true. then

49:23

all my needs are actually met. And

49:26

then in that moment, I have them

49:28

burst into the biggest, whatever they can

49:30

find, but the biggest celebration that out

49:33

of everything that's occurring on the planet,

49:35

right now, all my needs are met.

49:37

What? My ego mine wants to lie

49:40

and tell me a billion things. I

49:42

just proved. That it's not true. And

49:44

then I have them do that about

49:47

three to five times a day and

49:49

then Every couple of

49:51

days they check

49:54

in with me. They

49:56

send me a

49:58

voice note. They say,

50:01

oh my god

50:03

Not only do I

50:05

feel better But

50:08

my wife said this

50:10

my employees commented

50:13

on how clean I am

50:15

Right, it's like a ripple effect

50:17

because we have been sold

50:19

alive for so long To get

50:21

the makeup the bra the

50:23

car the house the success this

50:25

is and when I have

50:28

this then I'll be enough and

50:30

What I tell my students

50:32

all the time is fuck the

50:34

marketing machine We have been

50:36

marketed to and especially women women

50:38

worse than men We've been

50:40

marketed to hate ourselves So fuck

50:42

that machine. Let's find out

50:45

what's true and what's true is

50:47

in this moment All

50:49

my needs are met Thank

50:51

you god Thank you, jesus. Thank

50:53

you buddha. Thank you krishna.

50:55

Thank you. Allah. Let's freaking go

50:58

Love it. I love that

51:00

so much. Let's go 100. you

51:02

for everything that you have

51:04

shared today Pressing with us like

51:06

yeah your vulnerability and your

51:08

stories like it's been it's been

51:10

awesome Yes, very fun Yes,

51:12

thank you so so much for

51:14

this conversation and for your

51:16

time and connecting It was just

51:18

an absolute joy. Yeah, it

51:20

really was. Thank you presen. Love

51:22

you all This podcast is

51:25

for informational and educational purposes only

51:27

and should not be considered

51:29

medical or psychological advice We often

51:31

discuss lived experiences through traumatic

51:33

events and sensitive topics that deal

51:35

with complex developmental and systemic

51:37

trauma that may be unsettling for

51:39

some listeners This podcast is

51:41

not intended to replace professional medical

51:43

advice If you are in

51:45

the united states and you or

51:47

someone you know is struggling

51:50

with their mental health and is

51:52

in immediate danger Please call

51:54

911 or specific services relating to

51:56

mental health. Please see the

51:58

full disclaimer in the show notes

52:00

So.