0:00

Hey, welcome to Truth Be Told.

0:02

I'm Tanya Mosley. It's the new

0:05

year, and like every year, we

0:07

have this game that we play.

0:09

Compiling a list of resolutions to

0:12

be more productive, pushing ourselves to

0:14

the limit, to attain some version

0:16

of ourselves that will be better

0:18

than the last. I am so

0:21

guilty of this, and I actually

0:23

don't think it's a bad thing.

0:25

But this year, I'm going to

0:27

try a different approach. No resolutions.

0:30

No promises. Except for one. Instead

0:32

of depleting myself to give more

0:34

to everyone else, I'm going to

0:36

get back by pouring into myself

0:39

because I am so over grind

0:41

culture. And I know I've been

0:43

saying that for years, but it

0:45

actually is a process to unwind

0:48

from that way of thinking, especially

0:50

when society has really taught you

0:52

that your worth is based on

0:54

what you can produce. Nat ministry

0:56

founder Tricia Hersey has been talking

0:59

about this for years So I

1:01

thought now is the perfect

1:03

time to revisit our 2022

1:05

conversation Hersey says we should

1:08

treat our bodies not as

1:10

hustle machines But as living

1:12

divine beings that need rest.

1:14

I hope you enjoy this

1:16

episode and the eight others

1:18

will be featuring over the

1:21

next few weeks under the

1:23

banner truth be told time

1:25

to thrive You can also

1:27

go back and binge seasons

1:29

one through five. And

1:31

on this feed,

1:33

you can find,

1:36

truth be told,

1:38

presents, she has a

1:40

name. Just a lot of

1:42

amazing listening.

1:45

Sit back, relax,

1:47

and enjoy. All right,

1:50

it is $4.15. I have

1:52

just gotten out of bed

1:55

getting this coffee going.

1:57

Time to make the

1:59

donuts. I've been buying

2:01

into that myth for most

2:03

of my career. If I had

2:06

to be at work by nine,

2:08

I'd be there by eight. Sitting

2:10

at my desk, computer open,

2:13

working the phones as

2:15

a journalist. And before I

2:17

even stepped into the office,

2:20

I was spending those ungodly

2:22

hours scouring the headlines, prepping

2:24

for the day. working to

2:26

prepare for work. Time off?

2:29

Never heard of it. There's

2:31

always an email or a

2:33

phone call to respond to.

2:35

I've actually felt guilty sometimes

2:38

for sleeping. Booked and busy.

2:40

That's how we glorify this

2:42

kind of existence. Can you

2:44

even get through a conversation with

2:46

somebody these days without this kind

2:48

of virtue signaling? We like to

2:51

call it work ethic. But really,

2:53

if I'm honest with myself,

2:55

it's about proving my worth. I

2:57

tell people all the time when you

2:59

feel guilt and shame about resting,

3:01

to use it as evidence that

3:03

you've been brainwashed, to use it

3:05

as beautiful knowledge and insight, that

3:07

you are part of a system

3:10

that has taught you this since

3:12

you were born. That's Trisha Hersey,

3:14

founder of the NAT ministry. And

3:16

if you follow her work on

3:18

Instagram, you already know, her posts

3:21

are loud. This one is my

3:23

favorite. Stop worrying about productivity.

3:25

You don't even know what

3:28

that is. Tricia's work centers

3:30

on a very simple but

3:32

profound idea. You can't really

3:34

be free if you're bound

3:36

by hustle culture. On this

3:39

episode of Truth Be Told,

3:41

we are exploring how to

3:44

treat our bodies, not as

3:46

hustle machines, but as living

3:48

divine beings that need to

3:51

rest. And what does that

3:53

even look like? Stay with

3:58

us. story

4:00

podcast is about how teaching kids to

4:02

read went wrong. But now we have

4:04

a story about a school district where

4:07

things are going very right. I make

4:09

sure my friends are sitting cross

4:11

apple sauce and they're left. I've

4:13

never had a child that couldn't read.

4:15

How did they do it? When I tell

4:18

some of my other colleagues that may be

4:20

at other schools that this is what I

4:22

do, they would say, you kidding me. New

4:24

episodes of Soul a story are available

4:27

now in your podcast app. The idea

4:29

for the Nat ministry came to Tricia

4:31

Hersey back in 2013 when she was

4:33

in divinity school. A lot of things

4:35

were coming up for her all

4:37

at once. The news was dominated

4:39

with stories about police brutality. And

4:42

Tricia was sitting in predominantly white

4:44

classrooms, yet again in the position

4:46

of proving her worth as a

4:48

black woman in America. She was

4:50

exhausted. So many of us hustle

4:53

because we've internalized this idea that

4:55

we have to be twice as

4:58

good to go half as far. And

5:00

that in so many instances,

5:02

we are one decision, one

5:04

bad meeting, or performance away

5:07

from being yesterday's news. Tricia

5:09

knew she didn't want to

5:11

live like this anymore. While

5:13

in divinity school, she started

5:16

researching black liberation theology. and

5:18

created the net ministry, which

5:20

offers a bunch of really

5:22

cool experiences like community naps

5:25

in public places, like parks

5:27

and art galleries, and workshops

5:29

to help people explore ways

5:31

they can resist hustle culture

5:33

and lean into the liberating

5:36

power of rest. Trisha Hersey and I caught

5:38

up with each other to talk more about

5:40

this work. Well,

5:43

Tricia, we're having this conversation

5:45

with you off camera, and

5:48

that is intentional. Tell us

5:50

why. Yeah, I have zoom fatigue.

5:52

Like, I feel like it needs

5:55

to be named more since the

5:57

pandemic. Everything has switched and

5:59

went. over to this virtual land

6:01

and virtual space. And it's been

6:03

important and a saving grace for

6:05

many people to stay connected this

6:07

way for us to continue on, you

6:10

know, with our programs for things to

6:12

kind of keep moving in that way.

6:14

But at the same time, the technology

6:16

and what happens when we're online all

6:18

the time, the things that are

6:20

neurologically happened to our brain,

6:22

the screen time that we're on, the

6:25

blue light, the constant connection to something

6:27

outside of ourselves. most down to

6:29

the path of exhaustion. It is

6:32

exhausting Tricia my goodness I mean

6:34

and I don't think as you

6:36

said we really take weight and take

6:38

stock of the fact that there is

6:41

an energy thing that's happening. There's a

6:43

zapping of energy from the technology. Everyone

6:45

is feeling this way, but everyone's just

6:47

keep going on. Like this idea of

6:49

like, this is just what it is,

6:51

but I feel like more people need

6:53

to name the fact that they're exhausted.

6:55

Every time someone wants to do something

6:58

with me virtually or do something on Zoom,

7:00

I'm always just like, can we do a

7:02

regular call? And they're always like, oh my

7:04

gosh, thank you for saying that. I'm

7:07

like, no, we can, regular calls have

7:09

been taking care of business for centuries.

7:11

That's to me, the beginning of a

7:13

resistance and this pushback and

7:15

this disruption that I talk about with

7:18

Russ being. Yeah, I mean, in

7:20

a way, you're also giving us

7:22

permission. I'm thinking about your email

7:24

auto response that states you're prioritizing

7:26

rest over responding. I'm just thinking,

7:28

if I got that from anybody

7:30

else, You know, it's actually says

7:32

to me, wait a minute, I

7:34

want to take rest too. I

7:36

don't need to respond to this

7:38

either. Yes. You're conveying that to people,

7:41

but what are some of the responses

7:43

you get from folks when they see

7:46

that? People ignore it. Most people are

7:48

like, okay, that's good and everything and

7:50

they just respond back. I saw your

7:52

message, but, you know, I saw your

7:55

message, but. So I do think that

7:57

part of this work is living it.

7:59

If you say you want to

8:01

resist the systems that are treating

8:03

you like a human machine, then

8:05

part of that is going to

8:07

have to be making decisions, being

8:10

intentional, being extremely connected to what

8:12

your body really needs and wants.

8:14

We're going to get into the

8:16

practice of how to do that

8:18

because I think that the majority

8:20

of people agree with you, like

8:22

we're on a treadmill that we

8:24

want to get off of, but

8:26

let's first start with. the very

8:28

basic foundation of your assertion and

8:30

that is that sleep deprivation is

8:32

a social justice issue. Absolutely. Absolutely.

8:34

Sleep deprivation for black people specifically

8:36

traces itself back to the plantation

8:38

and so I think we can't

8:40

really talk about this movement of

8:42

rest is resistance the way I'm

8:44

uplifting the movement without speaking about

8:46

what has been this is an

8:48

historical perspective a lens that lends

8:50

itself towards looking at what has

8:52

been done to our bodies as

8:54

a part of being in this

8:56

system what have our ancestors toil

8:58

what did labor look like and

9:00

how that same machine level pace

9:02

of labor that was experimented on

9:04

our ancestors bodies on plantations the

9:06

same machine that's driving capitalism in

9:09

grind culture today and so when

9:11

I say that The idea of

9:13

resisting a system that says you

9:15

are a part of the cog

9:17

in this will, your body doesn't

9:19

belong to you, it belongs to

9:21

the clock, you don't have sovereignty

9:23

to make decisions, your body is

9:25

in yours, your body also is

9:27

not worth anything unless it's producing,

9:29

creating, and on the will of

9:31

production. So to resist that, to

9:33

disrupt that and say that's not

9:35

true, that's a lie, I'm divine,

9:37

I can rest, rest is my

9:39

natural state. my birthright to disrupt

9:41

that and pushback is the social

9:43

justice piece of it. It is

9:45

pushing back against very violent systems

9:47

and so I think a lot

9:49

of people think oh this is

9:51

just lay down because you're tired

9:53

but to really lay down and

9:55

intentionally rassing a system that wants

9:57

you going 24 hours a day,

9:59

seven days a week, that is

10:01

built upon the backs of our

10:03

ancestors, it's a resistance to stop

10:06

and say no. I'm going to

10:08

lay down, I'm going to uplift

10:10

my body, I'm going to connect

10:12

with it, I'm going to listen

10:14

to my body and not continue

10:16

to be pushed into a machine

10:18

level pace. The pace that we're

10:20

living on is not sustainable. It

10:22

just isn't. That's why so many

10:24

people claim burnout. So many people

10:26

say they're exhausted, so so many

10:28

people are not well mentally or

10:30

physically. It's because this pace that

10:32

they have created, it's not sustainable

10:34

for a human being to live

10:36

on. that is the resistance is

10:38

the justice piece of it. On

10:40

the other side of that coin

10:42

is the stereotype that we as

10:44

black people also experience and live

10:46

with and that is that we're

10:48

lazy. So it's really interesting like

10:50

the one side of it is

10:52

right we were brought here as

10:54

labor and our worth is dependent

10:56

on how much we can create

10:58

but then the other side of

11:00

it is like by resisting that

11:02

is the narrative that we're lazy.

11:05

Yeah, we were being called lazy

11:07

when we weren't working on plantations

11:09

for 20 hours a day too.

11:11

So I don't think we understand

11:13

that the concept of laziness, the

11:15

concept of productivity, all these things

11:17

that we're using to like be

11:19

a marker for how much we

11:21

do, really were taught to us

11:23

by by the people who are

11:25

creating the system. And so this

11:27

is the oppressor's language. Like I

11:29

don't use the word lazy in

11:31

any of our work. I believe

11:33

laziness is a myth in the

11:35

language of the oppressor. A black

11:37

person cannot be lazy in a

11:39

culture in which they still owe

11:41

a debt to our ancestors for

11:43

creating this entire country. And for

11:45

a black person. to say that

11:47

they're lazy in a system that

11:49

we're literally running on our backs.

11:51

I really want people to begin

11:53

to flip things and to begin

11:55

to study and understand what you've

11:57

been taught. Everything you've been has

11:59

been a lie about resting labor.

12:02

It's all been, I'm a part

12:04

of your brainwashing, I name being

12:06

born in this culture as a

12:08

part of being brainwashed to believe

12:10

that you're not worth anything unless

12:12

you're doing. People feel guilt and

12:14

shame for literally listening to their

12:16

bodies. Like how sick is that?

12:18

Like, I really got to be

12:20

like, that is so sick. Like,

12:22

right. But see, like, that's why.

12:24

What you're saying is a mind

12:26

trip for many of us because

12:28

our worth is built on what

12:30

we can produce. I mean, an

12:32

example of this is just this

12:34

past Saturday. I laid down on

12:36

the couch for a little bit

12:38

and told my family I'm gonna

12:40

close my eyes just for a

12:42

little bit. And I woke up

12:44

five hours later to the sun

12:46

setting. My body was demanding that

12:48

rescue. I also felt a lot

12:50

of guilt about it. I bet

12:52

you hear that often, people feeling

12:54

guilty about resting and taking that

12:56

heat. One of my favorite scholars,

12:58

Resting Peace to Bell Hooks, you

13:01

know, she said that the biggest,

13:03

you know, trick of a white

13:05

supremacist capitalist patriarchal system is guilt

13:07

and shame. Once they can have

13:09

you feeling guilt and shame about

13:11

anything you do, that's where they

13:13

have you. That's really true oppression.

13:15

That's true like, that is the

13:17

opposite of liberation. So if you

13:19

feel guilty and shame while you're

13:21

resting, rest through it, sleep through

13:23

it, nap through it, and know

13:25

that on the other side of

13:27

that is really what's true. It's

13:29

really that you need rest to

13:31

be able to survive and live.

13:33

and it is your birthright. Well,

13:35

how does one get to that

13:37

reimagination while also participating in capitalism

13:39

in order to survive? You find

13:41

ways like my grandmother, Orkasten, who

13:43

was a refugee of Jim Croterra,

13:45

leaving at Mississippi. be like millions

13:47

of people who are leaving during

13:49

a great migration from the south

13:51

and going to the north. They

13:53

imagined a new world. They imagined

13:55

what they could not see. And

13:57

while she was doing that, she

14:00

rested every single day. She rested

14:02

for 30 minutes on the couch

14:04

with her eyes closed. I often

14:06

wonder, what was she doing for

14:08

that 30 minutes to an hour

14:10

with her work uniform on about

14:12

to go to her next job?

14:14

She said she was listening to

14:16

what God wanted to tell her.

14:18

She would just say I'm listening.

14:20

And I'd be like, what is

14:22

she listening to? You don't know

14:24

what the information she was getting

14:26

that was allowing her to go

14:28

on her to go on? to

14:30

watch her do that is such

14:32

a spiritual practice and such a

14:34

beautiful thing for her to tap

14:36

into. She found space to rest.

14:38

And so if we can begin

14:40

to tap back into the rest

14:42

practices that our ancestors were doing,

14:44

tap back into what we know

14:46

to be true about who we

14:48

are, resting is the foundation for

14:50

a liberated world. Without it, we're

14:52

going to just get more exhaustion.

14:54

And so you do that by

14:57

slowly finding ways to reimagine. You

14:59

don't answer an email immediately. You

15:01

detox off social media every week.

15:03

You... You find ways to find

15:05

healthy boundaries in your life. You

15:07

get healing for if that may

15:09

be through therapy, through prayer, through

15:11

journaling, but you find a way

15:13

to be able to say no

15:15

to people. You know, this world

15:17

will eat you alive if you

15:19

don't have healthy boundaries, if you

15:21

don't have these ideas of what

15:23

you want for your world. I

15:25

tell people, you can also take

15:27

long showers, sitting a tub every

15:29

day, you know, drink tea, you

15:31

know, daydream, sit and stare out

15:33

of a window, go for a

15:35

walk. There's so many active ways

15:37

to participate in rest. Resting is

15:39

anything that slows your body down

15:41

enough so that you can connect

15:43

with your body and mine. You know,

15:46

as you're talking, Tricia, I'm also just

15:48

really thinking about this article that I

15:50

read by Arthur C. Brooks, called The

15:53

Satisfaction Trapp. Essentially, he's asserting that no

15:55

matter what we achieve or attain, our

15:57

biology always leaves us wanting more. If

16:00

you inherently believe that you are enough

16:02

simply because you are born, that you

16:04

are divine, simply because you are born,

16:06

that your worth is not connected to

16:09

anything on the outside, that's why this

16:11

is a spiritual practice. Then I don't

16:13

think there's this idea of always going

16:16

to be wanting more. I don't believe

16:18

that you're going to always be wanting

16:20

more once you slow down and once

16:23

you begin to see who you truly

16:25

are. This work is decolonized and it's

16:27

letting people look at themselves for who

16:30

they truly are. Divine human beings worthy

16:32

of rest, period. There's no other reason

16:34

for us to be resting except because

16:37

we... It's part of who we are.

16:39

It's part of our right as human

16:41

beings. And so to keep attaching this

16:43

idea of rest to it having to

16:46

be something more. I'm doing this so

16:48

I can be more productive. I'm doing

16:50

this because I'm burnt out. I'm doing

16:53

this so that I can. You're simply

16:55

resting just to be. because you can't

16:57

just be. This idea of leisure, this

17:00

idea of not having to do another

17:02

thing, black people have never been able

17:04

to participate in that. We've never been

17:07

able to participate in leisure. We've never

17:09

been able to participate in the idea

17:11

of just being. Even when we have

17:14

a job, we think, well, I got

17:16

some extra free time. Maybe I'll get

17:18

too extra jobs. Maybe I'll get aside.

17:20

So maybe I'll do that. Even when

17:23

we're like not needing to work. We're

17:25

always like trying to find something else

17:27

to be doing something. ultimate trick and

17:30

the ultimate evidence of our brainwashing, you

17:32

can just be. You can just sit

17:34

and be, and that's totally all that

17:37

you have to do. You know, I'm

17:39

thinking about the individual versus the collective.

17:41

Like for this thing that you're talking

17:44

about to truly work, doesn't it require

17:46

that just about everyone buy into it.

17:48

I'm just thinking on a very practical

17:51

level with something as small as saying

17:53

I'm not going to participate in on

17:55

Zoom meetings or I'm going to change

17:58

my handle to say I'm not responding

18:00

to every email request, but then the

18:02

world is responding to every email request

18:04

and everyone's on sale. So then how

18:07

can you participate while still setting those

18:09

boundaries? Does it need to be a

18:11

collective like call out where everyone is

18:14

saying we're doing it for this to

18:16

truly work? There will never be everyone

18:18

collectively on the same page toward liberation

18:21

in this country just because we're not

18:23

the same. There's not a monolith of

18:25

people who actually even buy into this.

18:28

And so... That is fine and I'm

18:30

okay with that because I understand that

18:32

for everyone to get free, you know,

18:35

that we're going to have to really

18:37

be working within the individual and the

18:39

collective. And so, no, I don't think

18:41

that everyone needs to be on this

18:44

for us to be able to find

18:46

these temporary spaces of joint freedom for

18:48

black people to be able to live

18:51

and thrive and survive in a culture

18:53

like the one that we live in.

18:55

We would have had to. We will

18:58

be dead by now if we thought

19:00

that way because it's like who in

19:02

this world and what culture is going

19:05

to give that to us specifically to

19:07

black people. So that's why I love

19:09

the idea of subversion and of being

19:12

inventive and being a trickster and being

19:14

flexible and imagining a new world and

19:16

creating a temporary space of joy and

19:19

freedom for yourself, for your community, for

19:21

your family. You change the world by

19:23

changing yourself and your family. If just

19:25

the people around you could be on

19:28

this. If just a person could be

19:30

thinking to themselves, you know what, today

19:32

I really don't feel like I want

19:35

to go to work today and I

19:37

do have PTO. Why don't I take

19:39

it? Like those small little moments of

19:42

freedom and joy is how black people

19:44

have survived. this entire culture since we

19:46

landed here on slave ships and so

19:49

I look up to that and I

19:51

like uplifted and I illuminate the idea

19:53

of being able to work within a

19:56

system to know that I am of

19:58

this world but this world doesn't have

20:00

me you know like that I can

20:02

be a part of this and live

20:05

in this world, and at the same

20:07

time, I can subvert and I can

20:09

have a counter narrative that doesn't look

20:12

like what the dominant culture is saying.

20:14

I'm wondering if you're seeing something that

20:16

I'm seeing. I see that Gen Ziers,

20:19

this younger generation, by and large, they're

20:21

really... able to articulate this, that you're

20:23

talking about, and set these boundaries for

20:26

themselves. And it's causing a real rift

20:28

within like organizations because you've got the

20:30

older generation, it's like, I had to

20:33

hustle, I had to work hard, work

20:35

12-hour days, you should too. And they're

20:37

like, no, it's five o'clock, and I'm

20:39

setting boundaries. I mean, does that give

20:42

you hope? I love that. The young

20:44

people give me hope. Like, the children

20:46

and the young people are really the

20:49

muse of this work. They are the

20:51

ones who are going to lead us

20:53

and I just look at all the

20:56

ways in which they're like breaking down

20:58

and deconstructing everything, gender and how they

21:00

work and money and how they live

21:03

and all of these things. They're like

21:05

not just taking what is given to

21:07

them. I always love young people and

21:10

looked at them as kind of the

21:12

ones who are going to lead us

21:14

and be amused for this work, be

21:17

amused for justice and liberation. And so

21:19

it does make me hopeful that they

21:21

are actually pushing back and saying, no,

21:23

I don't think so, or that's not

21:26

going to happen. And I think that

21:28

the people who are of an older

21:30

generation have to begin to start seeing

21:33

that as a beautiful thing and to

21:35

begin to understand that if we want

21:37

true liberation, we're going to have to

21:40

see each generation get better. Getting back

21:42

to rest as a social justice issue,

21:44

what you were saying about that makes

21:47

me think about Black Lives Matter founder

21:49

Patrice Colors. As you know in the

21:51

thick of the last few years, she

21:54

has said she felt like she was

21:56

literally going to die either at the

21:58

hands of a white... supremacist or herself.

22:00

I think for so many people they

22:03

did not realize in order to save

22:05

her life. It just had me thinking

22:07

about how we lost so many civil

22:10

rights leaders and activists who carry this

22:12

weight of the movement on their shoulders.

22:14

How can we carry while also lightning

22:17

the load for each other and ourselves?

22:19

I think for so many people they

22:21

did not realize that this is the

22:24

life they were living. Not normal. It's

22:26

not normal to be working 80 hour

22:28

weeks. It's just not normal. Like the

22:31

pace at which we are living under,

22:33

everyone has thought that that's just what

22:35

it is. And so for this even

22:37

small sense of awareness that, hmm, what's

22:40

happening when I'm feeling burnt out is

22:42

actually trauma in my body showing up.

22:44

No one has kind of... uplifted it

22:47

in that way. They've just been like,

22:49

girl, it's just burn out, you know,

22:51

just take a day off and get

22:54

back to it. No one has told

22:56

us that the pace in which we

22:58

are living, the way that we are

23:01

pushing our bodies to these extremes, not

23:03

listening to our bodies, disconnecting from our

23:05

body, is violent and abusive. Like we

23:08

just have not been told that. And

23:10

so I think the small bit of

23:12

awareness that people are able to have

23:15

from listening and understanding what rest is,

23:17

is just the beginning of a real

23:19

movement taking off. And so when I

23:21

think about Patrice taking a time off

23:24

until she can save her own life,

23:26

I always wonder to people. Part of

23:28

being an abolitionist and being a movement

23:31

working and an activist is being alive.

23:33

Like you can't do anything if you're

23:35

dead. And so when I tell people

23:38

like, so you're just going to keep

23:40

continuing working, ignoring your body, ignoring your

23:42

health, your mental health, your physical health.

23:45

And so when someone finally takes a

23:47

nap at one of our events or

23:49

they lay down, they read a sentence

23:52

about being like, you know what you

23:54

can rest. person to tell me it's

23:56

okay to take a nap. Most people

23:58

tell me they don't think they're worthy

24:01

of... I've had thousands of people tell

24:03

me I don't feel like I deserve

24:05

it. What system has taught us that

24:08

we as human beings aren't deserving of

24:10

something that is a main foundation to

24:12

our life, like how manipulative and hurtful

24:15

that is. In looking at this as

24:17

community care, as a deep, deep meticulous

24:19

love of each other and love of

24:22

community to say stop. to really just

24:24

give ourselves more grace and to have

24:26

a pace that feels more aligned with

24:29

what really what we want. So that's

24:31

going to take slowing down, it's going

24:33

to take a lot of vulnerability, a

24:35

lot of softness, a lot of listening,

24:38

and all of the things that we've

24:40

been taught not to do by this

24:42

culture, we're going to have to slowly

24:45

dismantle from them to be able to

24:47

like build a new way. You're also

24:49

a theologian. for you in understanding the

24:52

need for rest. Yeah, it's a big

24:54

one. When you think about the ultimate

24:56

idea of faith, it's this idea that...

24:59

No matter what I'll be cared for,

25:01

no matter what I'll be taken care

25:03

of, that there is something higher than

25:06

me, that I can't do it all,

25:08

and I don't want to do it

25:10

all, to tell me that I have

25:13

to push and go. My faith has

25:15

taught me that you are cared for,

25:17

that everything will be cared for because

25:19

you are my child, that there is

25:22

faith and there is leaping, and there

25:24

is this radical idea that at the

25:26

end of the day, nothing can be

25:29

taken for me, and that I have

25:31

everything that I need. right now. And

25:33

so I really believe that looking at

25:36

the idea of rest being a spiritual

25:38

practice allows us to really tap into

25:40

this information, this knowledge. I believe that

25:43

there's knowledge, information, a dream space waiting

25:45

for us. So for me, faith and

25:47

being a theologian helps to ground the

25:50

work. The one we can tap into

25:52

that space of listening to silence, to

25:54

understanding who we truly are and what

25:56

we are. I think that's gonna be

25:59

what moves this movement for. Yes, grandma.

26:01

I'm going to be resting my eyes

26:03

later today. Just sitting, closing my eyes.

26:06

Put that cell phone across the table

26:08

and like take them off. Just listening,

26:10

yes, I love that. Tricia, thank you

26:13

for this conversation. My goodness, everything you

26:15

say just leads me closer to being

26:17

able to get to that place that

26:20

you're talking about. It's an honor to

26:22

be able to have you as part

26:24

of this conversation. Thank you so much.

26:27

I've enjoyed it. This

26:29

is our final episode of this

26:31

season on love and liberation. And

26:33

I have learned so much over

26:35

the last two months. And I'm

26:37

reflecting on that big question we

26:39

had at the start. Are we

26:41

our ancestors wildest dreams? What does

26:43

it take to get us there?

26:45

As I'm learning, part of fulfilling

26:47

those dreams means giving myself grace

26:50

and the ability to rest. My

26:52

worth is not wrapped up in

26:54

how much I can do. But

26:56

I'm going to tell you, believing

26:58

that is a work in progress.

27:00

But I'm getting there because as

27:02

Tricia said, resting is our birthright.

27:04

We've explored so much from the

27:06

heaviness of the word bitch to

27:08

releasing the notion of duty-bound sex

27:10

to allowing our kids to be

27:12

kids. So to wrap up this

27:14

season, our fabulous team got together

27:17

to highlight some of the most

27:19

resonant lessons. And our admin Rochelle,

27:21

who recently lost her mother to

27:23

brain cancer, was comforted by the

27:25

words of poet Nikki Giovanni from

27:27

our very first episode on unwavering

27:29

love. If you haven't listened, you

27:31

should definitely check it out. Nikki

27:33

talked about the ways to comfort

27:35

each other after loss. It's not

27:37

going to be all right. And

27:39

if there's anything you hate in

27:41

the world, is that you're going

27:44

through something... incredibly painful, like losing

27:46

your mother, your father, or for

27:48

that matter, your dog. And somebody

27:50

calls and says, oh, you'll get

27:52

over it. No, damn it, you

27:54

won't. It will not be all

27:56

right. It will be something. something

27:58

that's always with you. So anybody

28:00

who loves you is just going

28:02

to say, well I love you.

28:04

I'm here. I love you. And

28:06

let it go. If they drink,

28:08

which I always recommend champagne, then

28:11

you'll go and take a good

28:13

bottle of champagne. None of that

28:15

cheap crap. And you'll take a

28:17

good bottle and you'll open it

28:19

up and sit down. And you've

28:21

got nothing to say because there's

28:23

nothing to say. But you're there.

28:26

That moment in that episode and

28:28

being present for the recording really

28:30

hit different. Hearing one of my

28:33

favorites speak so simply and honestly

28:35

about that time, a time that

28:38

I knew was coming for me,

28:40

was comforting and secretly I'd go

28:42

back and listen to it over

28:45

and over again. My mom passed

28:47

and at her service. One of

28:49

my friends came up to me

28:52

and said, I heard on a

28:54

podcast that you don't say anything.

28:57

You just bring a bottle of

28:59

champagne and tell them that I

29:01

love you. And she handed me

29:04

a bottle and said, I love

29:06

you. And that beauty, that simplicity

29:08

in that moment just really meant

29:11

so much to me. Our editor

29:13

for this season, James, was taken

29:16

by the wise words of Ayana

29:18

Brown, a mother from Seattle who

29:20

lost her 12-year-old son to gun

29:23

violence. James was struck by her

29:25

show of perseverance. Right, you have

29:27

on a tiara, which I'm sorry

29:30

I did not acknowledge until now,

29:32

but you are wearing a tiara

29:35

in the target parking lot in

29:37

the car. With a t-shirt and

29:39

jeans and some slides. With a

29:42

t-shirt that says force a verb,

29:44

a healed black woman. This is

29:46

who I'm becoming. I

29:49

actually was telling my husband,

29:51

I think I need to

29:53

upgrade to a crown. A

29:55

full crown. And what is

29:57

that saying to the world

29:59

as you walk through with

30:01

your full crown? Tiara? I

30:03

am a majestic and a

30:05

royal being and I don't

30:07

have to live in a

30:09

palace to be considered as

30:11

such. I am that because

30:13

I say I am that

30:15

and that's how I feel

30:18

and that's how I feel

30:20

and that's how I feel

30:22

and that's how I'm carrying

30:24

myself today. Now tomorrow I

30:26

might go back to being

30:28

a ratchet and you know

30:30

but right now this is

30:32

who I am. Hearing that

30:34

demonstration of perseverance reminded me

30:36

a lot of when you're

30:38

on an airplane and you

30:40

know you can't help anyone

30:42

else until you put on

30:44

your own mask first and

30:46

it reminded me that a

30:48

firm love of self is

30:50

the thing that can essentially

30:52

catalyst pure perseverance. Like once

30:55

you have like yourself set

30:57

up, then you can then

30:59

help out others. And sex

31:01

educator Erica Hart and her

31:03

partner Ebeney Donnelly joined us

31:05

for our episode on honesty

31:07

and our social media producer

31:09

Adama walked away thinking about

31:11

her past relationships and this

31:13

idea of ownership. I remember

31:15

saying something to Erica like

31:17

I have to belong to

31:19

me because in so many

31:21

of my other relationships I

31:23

belong to them or I

31:25

felt like I did or

31:27

I needed to belong to

31:30

somebody because me on my

31:32

own I didn't feel like

31:34

enough and I think two

31:36

people being autonomous and one

31:38

everybody belonging to themselves is

31:40

not antithetical to collaboration is

31:42

not anti-community. It is very

31:44

very, it can, it works

31:46

well in partnership. Like when

31:48

you realize that your partner

31:50

or whoever you want to

31:52

be with or date or

31:54

whatever doesn't belong to you

31:56

and you don't belong to

31:58

them. Hearing that

32:01

made me think about releasing

32:03

the pressure and knowing that

32:05

we can both independently be

32:07

coming into the relationship without

32:09

having to lose ourselves and

32:11

really gave me confidence and

32:14

feeling I can still be

32:16

independent of me. I can

32:18

still be me while still

32:20

choosing to be within this

32:22

partnership. Oh my God, there

32:24

were so many takeaways this

32:26

season. I want to know

32:29

your favorite moments. What are

32:31

you taking away from the

32:33

season of love? Give us

32:35

a call at 424-279-8475 or

32:37

email me at Tanya at

32:39

dear tBT.com. You can also

32:42

use the hashtag dear tBT

32:44

on Twitter or Instagram, all

32:46

one word. All

32:51

right, you're ready for the next

32:53

season. It's coming up in just

32:55

a few weeks and nourishment is

32:57

the topic we're taking on Food

32:59

it intimately connects us. It gives

33:01

us the fullest picture of what

33:03

we are truly made of But

33:05

can you get as close to

33:07

who you're meant to be if

33:10

you're not connected to all that

33:12

nourishes? We're gonna go deep and

33:14

we want to hear from you.

33:16

Tell us what's on your mind

33:18

and thank you for joining us

33:20

on this journey Truth be told

33:22

as a production of TMI productions

33:24

and this season was produced by

33:26

Iana Angel, Aisha Brown, James T.

33:28

Green, and Enrico Benjamin, and in

33:31

association with Moulton Heart and Fearless

33:33

Media. Special thanks to Brittany Luce,

33:35

Sam Riefelson, Rochelle Roberts, Adama Emerson,

33:37

and B.A. Parker. Our theme music

33:39

is rest by Otis McDonald and

33:41

Zor's Moon by Candice Hoise. And

33:43

we're funded in part by the

33:45

Heising Simons Foundation and the Ford

33:47

Foundation. I'm Tanya Mosley and we

33:49

will see you in a few

33:52

short weeks!