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Free, never sounded so good. Hey,

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Hey, welcome to Try This from The Washington

0:36

Post. Try This is a series of

0:38

audio courses to help you take on common

0:41

challenges and learn something new without having

0:43

to make a big time commitment. I'm Christina

0:45

Quinn, and I'll be learning with you

0:47

as we embark on a quest for joy.

0:54

Yeppers, that's what we're

0:56

doing in this course. Tis

0:58

the season of joy, but

1:00

with that expectation, we can

1:02

feel stressed and weighed down

1:04

with obligation. And that can

1:07

distract us from actual joy.

1:09

So. Here on Try This, we're

1:11

going to learn how to cultivate joy

1:13

whenever and wherever you are in life. Here's

1:18

how this will work. Each Try This

1:20

Course has anywhere from two to five

1:22

classes, or in other words, two to

1:25

five episodes. In this course, we'll have

1:27

three classes that focus on how to

1:29

identify what brings you joy, how to

1:31

make it again and again, and finally,

1:33

how to spread it around. Okay,

1:36

classes in session, let's try

1:38

this. The

1:44

The things that bring any one person

1:46

joy and happiness seem pretty arbitrary, right? Something

1:49

that could spark joy for me may

1:51

be a major snooze for you. For

1:53

example, I love watching marching band videos

1:55

on YouTube. But it

1:57

turns out that the arbitrary nature of

1:59

ha... happiness doesn't preclude it from

2:01

being a science. In this

2:03

first class, we're going to

2:06

really understand what makes us

2:08

happy. I asked a happiness

2:10

scientist to break it down

2:12

for us. Happiness in life

2:14

is generally feeling good, feeling

2:16

satisfied with your life and

2:18

feeling like you matter. So

2:20

that's how I think about

2:22

happiness. My name is Emiliana

2:24

Simon Thomas and I'm the

2:26

science director at UC Berkeley's

2:29

Greater Good Science Center. There

2:32

isn't really a scientific consensus

2:34

about how to define happiness

2:36

versus joy, but at UC Berkeley,

2:38

Emiliana and her team view

2:40

happiness as an overall characteristic

2:42

of life rather than a

2:45

bunch of positive feelings that we

2:47

chase. Joy, meanwhile, can be

2:49

a momentary experience or a

2:51

lasting one. Emiliana gets into

2:53

the nuance. In my view, happy

2:55

as a term is a

2:57

catch -all for lots of

2:59

different really interesting and important positive

3:02

states or emotional experiences that

3:04

people might have. So you

3:06

might be feeling pride, you

3:08

might be feeling enthusiasm, you

3:10

might be feeling amusement, right?

3:12

You might be feeling affection

3:14

and it's actually really valuable

3:16

to be more granular about those

3:18

specific emotional states that you

3:20

might be bucketing into this

3:22

word happy. And

3:25

there are a number of

3:27

ways to measure an overall sense

3:29

of happiness, but the most

3:32

reliable one her team uses are

3:34

self -report surveys. So somebody might

3:36

say, hey, answer these questions.

3:38

Questions like some people are very

3:40

happy in life and some

3:42

people are not so happy in

3:44

life. How would you characterize

3:46

yourself on a scale of very

3:48

unhappy to very happy? And

3:50

from those questions, we'll calculate a

3:52

score and that will be

3:54

what we use to determine or

3:56

assess an individual's happiness. It's

3:58

called the subjective. happiness scale, which

4:00

has been used in many

4:02

studies around the world. around the in

4:04

And in decades of research, she's

4:06

found that there are three factors

4:08

that contribute to a person's

4:10

overall happiness. And some

4:12

of those factors matter

4:14

more than others. than others.

4:16

There is some genetic

4:19

predisposition that a person's

4:21

a person's nervous

4:23

system that perhaps they just

4:25

biologically produce more produce more

4:28

dopamine more they have

4:30

more dopamine receptors their serotonin pathways

4:32

are more more kind of

4:34

routinely active or involved kind

4:36

that's kind of what you're

4:38

working with. with. Dopamine and and

4:40

serotonin are known as the happy

4:43

hormones. their neurotransmitters that

4:45

help regulate mood and emotions. and

4:47

emotions. says that genetic factors

4:49

shape about half of how

4:51

a person experiences positive emotions

4:54

and stressful situations. But

4:56

the rest is influenced

4:58

by lots of non -genetic

5:00

factors, including context. Is it

5:02

where you live? Is it how much

5:04

money you have? Is it whether you're

5:06

married or have children? or Any number of

5:08

things that we often think of, right? we

5:10

When we think, of, right? I'll be happy

5:12

if only I'll be happy if only I I

5:14

only check Y, Z, or if I goals

5:17

on my checklist. on my

5:19

context is part of the

5:21

part of the one person tends

5:23

to report greater happiness

5:25

in life than another person,

5:27

another person. It's actually a really

5:29

small proportion. It's usually

5:32

around It's usually leaves roughly 40

5:34

40% that has to do

5:36

with day -to -day behaviors. priorities,

5:39

exercises and activities. and A

5:42

lot of people walk the

5:44

world thinking that happiness is

5:46

out of their control, that

5:48

it's their biological endowment, it's

5:50

their personality, and that's just

5:53

the lot they have to

5:55

live with. to live with. But

5:57

nope you have you have a lot more

5:59

control. role than you may think. We'll

6:01

explain after the break. may

6:06

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.com. Over

7:45

the the course of her research,

7:47

Emiliana has found that there are

7:49

three main areas that influence how

7:51

happy people are. people are. One

7:53

is this aptitude for

7:55

experiencing positive emotions. Two

7:57

is a sense of connection

7:59

and... belonging in a community

8:01

or in a social

8:04

context. And three is

8:06

a capacity to overcome,

8:08

manage, and learn and

8:10

grow from life's inevitable,

8:13

difficult moments, experiences where

8:15

we feel angry or

8:17

sad or afraid or

8:19

any number of other

8:21

quintessentially unpleasant emotions. Interesting.

8:24

Okay, so when you

8:26

say, aptitude, what

8:28

do you mean? So when

8:30

I say aptitude for

8:32

experiencing a positive emotion in

8:35

any given context, I'm

8:37

thinking of your threshold and

8:39

availability for taking in

8:41

what is potentially good in

8:43

any given moment. So

8:46

you could imagine waiting in

8:48

line at the Department

8:50

of Motor Vehicles. And a

8:52

lot of people might

8:55

take that moment and be

8:57

like annoyed agitated or

8:59

frustrated or somehow inconvenienced, but

9:01

that's an arbitrary choice at

9:03

some level, right? And

9:05

there's a way to see

9:07

that moment that could

9:09

actually feel amusing, or light

9:11

-hearted, or inspiring, or uplifting

9:13

in some way or

9:15

another. And so when I

9:18

say aptitude, I'm really

9:20

thinking about that capacity to

9:22

find the goodness in

9:24

a given moment, usually when

9:26

things are going well,

9:28

but also in those day

9:30

or ordinary moments. So

9:32

in other words, the silver lining, being able to

9:34

find the silver lining. Yeah,

9:37

although silver lining is

9:39

often about something that's

9:41

decidedly unpleasant. I would

9:43

argue that there are

9:45

lots of ambiguous moments

9:47

in our daily lives

9:49

where we could be

9:51

experiencing some kind of

9:54

orientation to goodness in our life,

9:56

whether it's a feeling of gratefulness,

9:58

whether it's a feeling of pride. whether

10:00

it's a It's a feeling of

10:02

affection comes from comes from

10:04

reflecting on something that is

10:06

going well, even when

10:08

there's nothing terrible. it Emiliana

10:10

calls it prioritizing positivity.

10:13

Another practice is focusing on gratitude. that

10:15

the I must say that the

10:17

Department of Motor Vehicles is great

10:19

for people watching, for which I

10:21

am grateful. acknowledging the

10:23

ways that forces outside of

10:25

your own effort and your

10:28

own behaviors of are sources of

10:30

goodness in your life. Being in

10:32

The science of of something that

10:34

Being in the presence of

10:36

something that challenges your ordinary

10:38

expectations and understanding of the

10:40

world of of gives you that

10:42

tingling feeling of possibility and

10:45

uplift. that people can are things that

10:47

people can daily life their daily life

10:49

that make it more likely going to

10:51

expect. experiences, positive

10:53

moments. moments. The second

10:55

pillar of happiness is

10:57

fostering connection. And that

10:59

is really investing in

11:01

our interpersonal relationships. interpersonal relationships

11:03

with close humans, writ just

11:06

a sense of common

11:08

humanity. sense What can we

11:10

do to really... What

11:12

can we do to

11:14

really find more similarity

11:17

with others? engage with

11:19

others in experiences that

11:21

are shared and collaborative

11:23

and rewarding. And making

11:25

meaningful connections And making meaningful

11:27

connections isn't just about fostering friendship.

11:30

It also means being able to

11:32

get through the hard stuff and

11:34

reconcile conflict. reconcile conflict. Okay,

11:36

so far we have so far

11:38

we have an aptitude

11:40

for prioritizing positivity and fostering

11:42

connections. The third pillar,

11:44

resilience, and that includes an

11:46

awareness of your own mental habits.

11:48

own mental habits. And is

11:50

referred to as

11:52

mindfulness as contemplation or

11:54

meditation. These are

11:57

these exercises where we

11:59

become observers of of what's happening in

12:01

our own mind, so that

12:03

we can notice if we

12:05

have a habit of negativity

12:07

bias or hypervigilance or excessive

12:10

rumination or cynicism about other

12:12

people. So we need to

12:14

be aware of what our

12:16

mental habits are and whether

12:18

they're helping or hurting us.

12:20

Another example of resilience, Amelia

12:22

says, is asking for help.

12:25

It seems a little counterintuitive,

12:27

since so many of us

12:29

have been taught to be

12:31

tough and to suppress unpleasant

12:33

emotions, but... Turns out, it

12:35

is not healthy to tamp

12:37

down and sequester our difficulties,

12:40

our life difficulties and unpleasant

12:42

emotions into some little corner

12:44

of our minds and hope

12:46

that they will disappear. And

12:48

if another human sees you

12:50

shedding tears... They have a

12:52

very strong urge to approach

12:55

you and console. That's very

12:57

evolved core human motivation to

12:59

support one another. So for

13:01

many, the exercise of seeking

13:03

support, asking for help, is

13:05

a powerful tool of resilience.

13:07

There are three factors that

13:10

play a role in a

13:12

person's overall happiness. Genetics makes

13:14

up to about 50%. A

13:16

modest 10% is context, as

13:18

in if I have a

13:20

certain lifestyle, I'll be happy.

13:22

That means a honking 40%

13:24

all comes down to our

13:27

day-to-day actions. So we really

13:29

do have agency when it

13:31

comes to creating our overall

13:33

happiness. Huzza! And according to

13:35

Amelia, Simon Thomas, and the

13:37

good folks at UC Berkeley's

13:39

Greater Good Science Center. you

13:42

can achieve that with the

13:44

three pillars of happiness, which

13:46

include prioritizing positivity, fostering and

13:48

strengthening connections with people around

13:50

you, and lastly practicing resilience,

13:52

like being able to come

13:54

out of the other end

13:57

of a storm. with

13:59

some perspective. That's

14:09

it for our first class. Up next

14:11

in our second class on Cultivating Joy,

14:13

we're going to learn how to make

14:15

some joy with the help of Washington

14:17

Post contributor Steven Petro. If you are

14:20

listening when this is newly released, you

14:22

can hear Episode 2 on Thursday, December

14:24

19th, and the third and final class

14:26

on Monday, December 23rd. But you can

14:28

hear the remaining two classes right now

14:30

and add free with a subscription to

14:32

the post. If you already have one,

14:34

great! Just look for the Washington Post

14:37

channel in Apple Podcasts, and you can

14:39

link up your subscription there and you're

14:41

good to go. If you don't yet

14:43

have a subscription, you can subscribe to

14:45

the Washington Post through the link in

14:47

our show notes. Thanks for listening and

14:49

I'll meet you in class two. This

14:57

podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. You

14:59

know when you're really stressed or not

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feeling so great about your life

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15:07

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15:09

them? Where do you even start?

15:11

Talkspace. Talkspace makes it easy to get

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15:23

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