0:02

This is Unbreakable

0:04

with Jay Glacier, a mental

0:06

Wealth podcast Build

0:09

you from the inside out.

0:11

Now here's Jay Glacier.

0:14

Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast

0:16

with Jay Glazier.

0:17

I'm Jay Glazer and look.

0:19

I've kind of spanned the globe before guests

0:22

star, whether it's football

0:24

players or fighters or combat vets

0:26

or actors, chefs like got

0:28

Fieri. I've never had on a

0:31

gangster from racing world. So

0:34

it's my honor to welcome in a

0:36

guy who is a Hall of Famer racer.

0:39

He's a champion. I wanted only Tony

0:41

Stewart, Hollry Budy.

0:42

I'm good Man. Thanks for having.

0:44

Us, absolutely man, thanks for coming on board.

0:46

It's pretty cool for me because I like to learn from

0:48

everybody, the best of the best, and just let

0:51

you know. This is called a mental wealth podcast. It

0:53

was a mental health podcast because

0:55

you know, I'm probably one of the first guys

0:57

to start talking mental health for duce

0:59

to trying different words, and then I realized

1:01

people were They thought mental

1:04

health is just depression anxiety, and it's

1:06

not. It's also what's between our ears, to

1:08

get us to be different, to raise us and elevate

1:10

us up to get to be different. So with

1:12

that question, I guess when did you

1:14

realize you were different? At

1:17

what point in your life.

1:19

I grew up as a kid and I raced go carts when

1:21

I was eight, and you know

1:23

I was I had a father that was pretty hard

1:25

on me. I mean, I mowed yards,

1:28

I had a newspaper route, I babysat,

1:31

I did everything I could do to

1:34

help my family with the raise

1:36

the funding that we needed just to race go karts.

1:38

We're not talking racing a NASCAR or any car.

1:40

This is just to race go karts on Saturday

1:43

night at a local fairgrounds. So you

1:45

know, I learned the value a dollar early, and you

1:48

know, as I moved up through the ranks, I think kind

1:51

of that moment came around

1:54

I'm going to stay ninety five. At

1:56

the end of the season in ninety five, we won what

1:59

do you know, State's Auto Club calls the triple

2:01

Crown. So I ran three national divisions

2:04

all in the same season and won all three point

2:06

championships. So we were the first driver in

2:09

the history to win all three championships

2:11

in the same season. We were

2:14

only the second driver in history to win all

2:16

three of them. Period, Pancho Carter

2:18

had won him, but won him in a five year span,

2:21

so literally won a championship, didn't

2:23

win one the next year, won a different championship,

2:25

didn't win one the next year, and won the third championship

2:28

in five years. So it was really

2:30

cool, And I think that's the moment where I realized

2:32

we had done something that a had never been done

2:34

before, but at the same time realized

2:36

that we didn't get there by accident.

2:39

We didn't fall into it. We worked our

2:41

way to it. You know, I've always been

2:43

a firm believer and surround yourself with good people,

2:45

and we did that as well. But these guys

2:47

had to take a chance on a young guy that hadn't really

2:50

proven himself yet. So ninety five was

2:52

that moment where I realized that I wasn't

2:54

just the same as everybody else that I was racing

2:56

against.

2:57

Prettymn cool. Nobody could take from you.

2:59

Yeah, you know, car what happens moving forward?

3:02

You got that nobody could ever take that from you. It's pretty

3:04

damn cool when you are and let's

3:06

say that zone. You know in baseball

3:08

players they say, man, it just slows down the ball.

3:10

It's like a grapefruit. You know you're going

3:12

on that right a fighter, everything

3:15

just calms and slows down like you're

3:17

going slow. Most so when you're in this kind

3:19

of this winning mode, what's.

3:21

That feel like?

3:22

It's exactly the same for us in motorsports.

3:25

I mean we you know, this year, I'm driving

3:27

a top fuel dragster in the NHRA. I

3:30

got put into a car that I'd never been into before.

3:32

I raced the top alcohol dragster with NHRA

3:34

last year, and those cars run

3:36

the full quarter mile a quarter miles thirteen

3:39

hundred and twenty feet, and we were running

3:41

I think the fastest speed I ran in that car was

3:43

two hundred and eighty one miles an hour. So now

3:45

I'm driving my wife's car and

3:48

it only runs one thousand feet, doesn't run the

3:50

thirteen twenty runs literally to

3:52

one thousand feet. And I've been three hundred

3:54

and thirty four miles an hour in the top field car this

3:57

year. So when you talk about things

3:59

slowing down, it's in that way. In my entire

4:01

career in motorsports, every time you start

4:03

to really get dialed in and really get comfortable,

4:06

everything does slow down. And I told somebody

4:08

I've heard other drivers talk about this. When before

4:10

I had the chance to compete at the ND five hundred,

4:13

I heard a lot of drivers say you could put a penny down

4:15

on the racetrack in the groove and they could

4:17

see it at over two hundred miles an hour, and

4:19

that is a fact.

4:20

Wow.

4:21

We literally look for cracks in the

4:24

asphalt. It were a blemish

4:26

and it's something that's different. That's

4:28

what you use for a reference point on the racetracks

4:30

on where you're turning in or where you're lifting

4:32

out on the throttle. But if it's

4:34

where you're running, you could see something as small

4:37

as a dime or a penny on the racetrack.

4:40

So it made me smile

4:42

when you said everything slows down, because that is

4:44

what I've had to deal with this year as a driver and

4:47

a new driver, is going into an uncomfortable

4:49

situation, something that I wasn't

4:51

used to and driving a car that literally goes

4:53

from zero to three hundred

4:55

and thirty four mile an hour in one thousand feet.

4:58

The hard part is your brain has to win to

5:00

process that information faster. So

5:02

everything I'd ever driven before before

5:05

drag racing, the cars were always rolling

5:07

at the start. Your eyes were always looking

5:10

straight ahead at where you're going, and

5:13

the acceleration wasn't near what it is

5:15

with a top fuel car. This top fuel

5:17

car in the first sixty feet is

5:20

already running in sixty feet,

5:22

is running eighty miles an hour in

5:25

sixty feet. At the halfway point,

5:27

which is six hundred and sixty feet of

5:29

a quarter mile, the cars almost

5:32

at three hundred miles an hour already. So

5:34

the acceleration is something that your

5:36

brain seeing this information coming into

5:39

your eyes now your brain has to learn how to process

5:41

it as fast as it's happening. And my

5:43

brain wasn't used to that, which I think

5:45

there's a lot of holes in my brain anyway, if you look

5:47

through one ear, you can see out the other.

5:49

You're with you.

5:49

But but that was one of the things that truly

5:52

was the hardest thing, and I literally that's

5:54

why I smiled. I told the crew chief two races

5:56

ago, I said, things are finally

5:58

starting to slow down. Is what are you talking

6:00

about? And he doesn't know what we're talking about.

6:03

I said, when you really get locked in and

6:05

you get comfortable your brain, it's

6:07

like your focal point of your brain starts to

6:09

widen and open up and you're able to

6:11

process more information and more data,

6:14

and then that's more information I can give the crew chief

6:16

of what the car is doing, what it feels like,

6:19

where it's happening on the racetrack. And

6:21

when you get in that zone like that and you get in

6:23

that field, that's when you know

6:25

you're locked in and you got it going on, because now

6:28

you have the best opportunity to relay

6:30

that information that you're learning to your crew

6:32

chief. But still you're pulling in

6:34

more information for yourself as a driver. And

6:36

I can manipulate not the drag cars,

6:38

the oval cars that I drove. I could manipulate

6:41

the cars with how I turned my hands on

6:43

the entry to the corner and how I move my feet on the

6:45

pedals. I could manipulate it if it wasn't one

6:47

hundred percent right. But you can't do that till

6:49

you get really comfortable and understand what the car

6:51

is telling you.

6:52

Look, I'm trying a million football players and fighters

6:54

and mixed martial arts, and I always talking about

6:56

calm under cass.

6:58

Yeah, better we can get our common cast us, the

7:00

better we're going to be. You don't have to be frantic and oh my

7:02

God, and I thought it was wild.

7:03

You said to me a couple of seconds ago that you guys are going

7:06

three to a mile crow and you could see a crack.

7:08

That's wild.

7:09

That's different level it is, but it's

7:11

it's the same focus. You know, you

7:13

talk talk to fighters and you watch what

7:15

they're looking at and what they're seeing in their opponent's

7:17

eyes, and the same thing with football players. I mean to sit

7:19

there and for the defense to

7:22

be able to watch the quarterback's eyes, and the quarterback

7:24

to be savvy enough to be looking somewhere that he

7:26

doesn't intend to go with the footballer.

7:30

True, but we all have that skill

7:32

set and that ability to read things

7:34

that nobody else is used to doing. We

7:37

have that ability for everything to slow down

7:39

enough that we can recognize those deals.

7:41

And it's that way in all sports. I think it's that way.

7:44

I think it's that way in the music industry. You look

7:46

at guitar players and drummers and how fast

7:48

they can do things in their mind. It's the same

7:50

thing. You get locked in your brain

7:53

starts slowing everything down and processing

7:55

your information, and you just do better

7:57

because if you're able to make better decisions were

8:00

clear decisive decisions.

8:01

I also love You're like, yeah, so I took my wife's car.

8:03

He was going three hundred normally. That comment

8:06

and be like, I took my wife's prius. It's

8:08

a little bit different for your world.

8:11

Yeah, we said.

8:13

We just had a race in Las Vegas a week

8:15

ago, and we were driving there because

8:17

we live in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, and I

8:20

was not running the speed limit, and we

8:22

had the lady that's going to be helping us

8:25

with our child for the first four months make

8:27

sure we don't make any mistakes. And

8:29

I checked on her to ask her if she was all right

8:31

in the back seat because we weren't running the

8:34

speed limit, and she goes, yeah,

8:36

I'm fine. And I looked at her and I said,

8:38

I promise when this little boy gets here, that I

8:40

will not drive like this. And she goes.

8:42

My wife was literally sitting in the front seat

8:45

right in front of her, and she goes, he is right

8:47

there right now. I'm

8:49

like, that's a good valid point.

8:51

So the only thing I could do to defend myself

8:53

on that was well, he's in there. So it's like being bubble

8:55

wrapped. Good. So

8:58

it makes you think about things and you know how we

9:00

can process information so well, but at the

9:02

same time make a decision like that and you're

9:04

like, really, wasn't thinking in that scenario.

9:07

When do you start, like really

9:09

visualizing a race?

9:11

You know, I'm really weird. This is part

9:13

of the journey that's been fun with my wife because

9:16

my wife's approach to what she does on the race

9:18

weekend and mine are drastically different. I've

9:20

been racing since I was eight. I'm forty

9:22

or I'm fifty three years old now, so I've been racing

9:25

forty five years. I don't

9:27

I don't have to do it. I literally when

9:29

I'm starting to get suited up, then that's when you can

9:31

see the flip switch. And then I started

9:33

getting focused. But I've always

9:35

been one of those drivers that if I spent too

9:38

much time focusing on it before it was time,

9:40

my anxiety level kept climbing. So

9:43

literally, we would go to the driver's meetings at a

9:45

NASCAR race and we had an hour and a half before

9:47

driver introductions. I would literally

9:50

go back to the motor home, start a movie that I knew

9:52

I wasn't going to be able to finish, eat my lunch,

9:55

and would not watch any of the pre race

9:57

shows. Wouldn't watch anything that had

9:59

anything to do with racing, just to keep

10:01

my heart rate down, keep my

10:03

mind calm and clear. And then when it

10:05

was time to put that uniform on and walk over

10:08

for intros, that's when that would start.

10:10

That's when I would start locking into what we were doing.

10:12

But the drag racing deals

10:15

drastically different from what I did in Indy Car

10:17

and NASCAR and dirt track racing. I

10:20

tried to keep myself calm because a

10:22

NASCAR race, a five hundred mile race typically

10:24

lasts about three and a half hours, where

10:26

now I'm driving a car that I'm only literally driving

10:29

that thousand feet in three and a half seconds,

10:31

So where I worked so hard

10:33

to stay calm in the car. And that's why I say my wife

10:36

and are drastically different. I would bride

10:38

in the toe vehicle because they have to tow the vehicle to

10:40

the staging lanes before they fire up, and before

10:42

she gets in the car, and she is listening

10:44

to wrap and hip hop

10:46

and it's loud in the toe vehicle and she's

10:48

trying to get her heart rate up, and I'm like, it

10:51

created anxiety for me, and I wasn't even getting

10:53

ready to drive the car. But the difference

10:55

for me is, I realize now why

10:58

she did that, because you get inn zone

11:00

and you get comfortable. Well, when you get comfortable,

11:02

you're not on edge and driving a drag car

11:04

where reaction time is everything. And

11:07

just for Lyn, you know, just like linemen and anybody

11:09

else and fighters, they've got to be on edge

11:11

because you have to be ready right away. So

11:14

where I was used to settling in for a long

11:16

race that was three and a half hours long and just keeping

11:18

my heart rate down and maintaining

11:20

that through the whole race, now I'm driving

11:22

a car where I am finding I'm having to

11:25

do the same thing. I have to get amped up right

11:27

before and as I'm getting in that car to

11:29

make sure that I cut a good reaction time on the trees.

11:32

It's interesting because I, you know, I've talked a lot about money

11:34

pressing anxiety and for a long time like trying

11:36

to figure out ways away from my anxiety. But then

11:39

I kind of switched in and I weaponized my anxiety

11:41

exactly what you're saying, Like as I'm about

11:44

to do television whatever, I

11:46

ramp it up. As I start ramping it up, man. I want

11:48

to be on edge. I want to be there, and it becomes your

11:50

superpower, one of it. If you weaponize

11:52

it becomes your superpower. You're not a sham of it

11:54

anymore. It's huge, right, gives

11:57

you that edge.

11:58

Most people are.

11:58

Not great in cash who cannot deal with

12:00

conflict. So if you could use this and cause

12:03

some conflict, it ends up helping you out.

12:05

It seems like it's a similar thing for you.

12:07

Yeah, And I feel like the hard thing is it's

12:10

hard to control the timeframe of it. I

12:12

mean, like I said, the NASCAR side

12:14

was three and a half hours long, and there were times late in the race

12:16

you'd get a late race caution and you knew this

12:20

was that last spurt to the end, and this

12:22

is where they're going to pay the money, give the trophy out and

12:24

the points and all that. That's when you got

12:26

to let that ramp up because you got to be on edge. You

12:28

got to be on top of it. The drag racing

12:30

obviously is that way every run, but

12:33

it's hard to maintain that. So for people

12:35

that have to do things for long durations,

12:37

it's hard to get up and stay up like

12:40

that and function in that chaos. The

12:42

chaos is good for a short amount of time if

12:44

you can control it, But for long distances

12:46

and long time frames, I think it's hard to control

12:49

that. So it's knowing when to bring

12:51

yourself into that mode and how long are you going to

12:53

sustain it?

12:55

You're going for three and a half hours, right, five hundred

12:57

lapse? Does your mind drift?

13:00

You've constantly to stay focused. You have to

13:02

play games with yourself so your mind stays

13:04

focused. Because listen, I got

13:06

ADHD, I got beyond ad add,

13:09

I got elemental P, I'm God.

13:11

After forty seconds, what do you do to keep

13:13

your attention? And where's your attentionion go during that?

13:15

I'll be honest. There were races that a

13:18

track in Pennsylvania, Pocono, it has three

13:20

really it's triangle shape, but it has

13:22

three really long straightaways, and two

13:24

of them are very very long. And there were

13:26

periods of the race where there's nobody right in front

13:29

of you, and there's nobody right behind you, and you have

13:31

a long straightaway that you really don't have to

13:33

do anything and don't have to think about anything

13:35

very much. And I would catch myself late

13:37

in the race going, okay, what do I want for dinner tonight

13:40

when I land back in Charlotte. You

13:42

know where am I going to stop and pick up dinner on the way

13:44

home? But you know, when you would

13:46

get to those moments, when you get to the corner and you got to go

13:48

do your job again, you totally forget

13:50

about it. But it's hard to stay focused

13:52

for long durations like that. And I think it's

13:54

all about your surroundings. I mean, when

13:56

you get comfortable, then you start then other things

13:59

start coming into your head when you have downtime

14:01

in a lap. But that's

14:03

one thing I can promise you. I can't even tell you when I

14:05

drive the dragster now, I can't even tell

14:07

you if we breathe or blink. I don't know

14:09

the answer to that. I don't know if we actually take a breath

14:11

during the run. I don't know if our eyes

14:13

blink during the run, because it's literally three

14:15

and a half seconds long and there is so much

14:18

happening. Our motors have over eleven thousand

14:20

horse power, so you're you're

14:23

basically sitting on a rocket ship that's

14:25

got four wheels on it, and you

14:27

don't have time to let your mind go anywhere else.

14:30

Outside of what you were actually doing

14:32

at that time.

14:33

You guys have a breath work than you do while

14:35

you're either in there or in the longer races.

14:39

Now, I mean it was I think for

14:41

me the breathing part was was directly

14:43

related to your heart rate and what the

14:45

situation was. The better

14:47

the car drove, the less your heart

14:49

rate was high because you were just

14:51

comfortable and you weren't having to fight it and work

14:54

hard and try to manipulate it. The further

14:56

the car was off from being from being

14:58

right. The harder you're working, the higher

15:01

your heart rate, the more you feel your respiratory

15:03

bad rate up, and you would get fatigued.

15:05

If you couldn't get it controlled and couldn't

15:08

keep it at a level that you could sustain for

15:10

three and a half hours, you would get fatigued at the end of

15:12

the race.

15:13

What do you guys do?

15:14

Is it more assume you guys do a shif

15:16

ton to strengthen your forms, But

15:19

what else do you guys do to just get yourself physically

15:21

ready for a race like along a race

15:25

back?

15:25

When? So you got to remember I retired from NASCAR

15:27

at the end of twenty sixteen, and that they

15:29

were they'd probably been I

15:32

would say in a six eight period

15:34

year span where they were the majority

15:36

of the drivers were starting to do workout programs,

15:39

guys like Jimmy Johnson and Casey Kane,

15:42

some of the other drivers were actually doing triathlons

15:45

even But I mean they were just lean. They

15:48

weren't bulky, because you didn't want the weight.

15:50

You don't want the driver any heavier

15:52

than they have to be. So those

15:54

guys are just cutting weight. They look like you

15:56

know, marathon runners. They're just no body

15:59

fat to them. They don't

16:01

have a lot of muscle mass. But those guys

16:03

would even get in trouble at the end of races sometimes.

16:06

But I was the guy that was eating drinking cokes

16:08

and eating oreos in the motor home, you know, while

16:11

those guys were up early in the morning running.

16:13

And I do believe it's a big thing that later

16:16

on in my life has hurt me. I mean, these cars

16:18

that we're driving now on the NHLA side,

16:20

the top field dragstraight goes out all the way

16:23

up to six G forces on acceleration.

16:26

Then when you get to that finish line, you throw

16:28

two parachutes out and when those parachutes blossom

16:31

and pull back. It's negative six and a half

16:33

g's. So what I'm finding now

16:35

at the age of fifty three is I wish I was in

16:37

better shape, and I'm going to have

16:39

a program through the Winner to strengthen my back,

16:42

strengthen my neck, strengthen my shoulders.

16:44

That's what those seat belts are. So

16:46

what I'm finding is I'm having neck problems.

16:48

I'm having back problems. Well it's not

16:51

from the acceleration, it's from the d acceleration.

16:53

So it's from your body being pinned back in the back of

16:55

the seat and the shoots come out and it throws you into

16:58

the shoots like that. So that's where my

17:00

mindset of this can't be that hard. You're only

17:02

doing it for three and a half seconds, so physically it can't

17:05

be that bad. But it is. But it's because

17:07

of the forces on the negative side

17:09

more than anything.

17:10

Obviously, you've had a Hall of Fame racing

17:13

career. What were you able to take

17:15

from that to transition

17:17

to an owner?

17:18

You thought, like set you up for that.

17:21

So remember in my Cup Series career, I drove

17:23

for coach Joe Gibbs, so

17:25

I learned a lot from him, you know, And

17:28

honestly that's the reason I left

17:30

Joe Gibbs Racing to partner

17:32

up with Gene Hasson's inform, Stewart

17:34

Hoss Racing in two thousand and nine, and

17:37

we just ran our last race Sunday at

17:39

Phoenix, and that was my last race as a NASCAR

17:41

owner. But everything that I'm doing now

17:43

is because of what I've learned from Coach. I

17:45

mean, how to manage people, how to put the right people

17:47

together. One

17:50

thing I learned from Joe is you could take five

17:52

resumes of somebody applying for jobs,

17:55

and all five of them their credentials could be

17:57

the same. But Joe had that unique

17:59

ability to put the right people

18:01

personality wise together too. So they

18:03

had to have the talent, obviously, but he

18:06

knew which one was going to fit the group the best,

18:08

because I've watched take

18:10

take a race team that has ten positions on it.

18:12

You take the one hundred percent best person

18:15

in each of those categories and put them together. And

18:18

I've seen teams with ninety percent

18:20

of that talent in each of those positions,

18:22

but they work together better as a unit outperform

18:26

the one hundred percent guys and that's what

18:28

I learned from Coach was it's not

18:30

having the best person, it's having the best people

18:32

that can work together. Got to be a team unit.

18:35

They've got to be one unit. And that's what we

18:37

see with our teams now. And it's making sure

18:39

that we have the right guys that gel together personality

18:42

wise. They have to turn these motors

18:44

around. When we make a run, these cars come

18:46

back to the pits. They literally tear the motor

18:48

apart and rebuild it and do that

18:50

in forty minutes. So you got multiple

18:53

guys working around the car, and

18:55

it's important for the cadence of it. So

18:57

if one guy shows up and he's had two

19:00

extra shots of espresso and his coffee in

19:02

the morning and he's vibrating across the floor

19:04

when he's working, he's working faster

19:07

than the rest of the group, gets it all out of sync.

19:09

Same thing. If a guy doesn't sleep well and he's dragon

19:11

ass in the morning, shows up in a bad mood

19:14

and he's slow, he gets the cad and sound

19:16

and whack and it slows everybody down. So all

19:19

of that is really important about finding the right

19:21

people and finding you know, people

19:23

that just genuinely want to work around

19:25

each other and they and they will ultimately lift

19:27

each other up if they're on the right page.

19:29

We just work for the Navy Seals this past week, and I know

19:32

our veterans they show and that, you know, I ask them,

19:34

So, what's the common denominator of the

19:36

guys who's making through buds. They're likely

19:39

it's not the high school football stars

19:41

and the valedictorian and the prom

19:43

king. It's people who've been through adversity, been

19:46

through some shit before. But more than anything,

19:48

people have been through ship before. But

19:51

man, they're going to live and doctor their teams. That's

19:53

what makes it through. They have something else to go through

19:55

within just themselves. It's the team. Team

19:57

is everything. And yeah, if you could find that,

20:00

uh, that's obviously in every

20:02

I think everywhere, that's your winning

20:05

the winning culture.

20:06

Yeah, And honestly, my firm

20:08

belief is it's that way in life in general. I

20:10

mean, if it's successful for teams, whether

20:12

it's you know, football, basketball, baseball,

20:15

motorsports, there are there's a

20:17

common denominator there. It's it works for a

20:19

reason. So implement that into your

20:21

life. To surround yourself with good people, people

20:23

that have the same passion, drive, desire.

20:26

Not the people that are dead beats that pull you back

20:28

and try to pull you into their world. You want

20:30

people that are around you that want to motivate you,

20:33

to make you better, and you make them better. So

20:35

everybody raises each other up and gets the most

20:37

out of each.

20:37

Other, no doubt. I've got one last

20:40

question here before I let you go and give me.

20:41

I asked every one of my guests, give

20:44

me your own breakable moment, the moment

20:47

that should have broken you could

20:49

have and didn't, and

20:51

as a result, you came through the other side.

20:52

That's all stronger forever, you know.

20:55

I I And it's a good question. It's

20:57

good question, it is, and it's

21:00

the answer is a hard answer because probably

21:03

one of the worst moments in my life happened

21:05

in New York in a sprint car crash

21:08

and I

21:10

just passed a kid in a corner

21:13

and half a lap later, the costume

21:15

comes out and I roll around and the

21:17

kid that I just passed had crashed and I didn't understand

21:20

why. I didn't know why. I still don't know why he crashed.

21:23

But the end result of that is that

21:25

he got out of his car and unfortunately

21:28

I was not looking in the right spot, and

21:30

when I saw him, I reacted

21:32

very quick, but not quick enough to get

21:34

away from him, and it struck him and killed

21:36

him, a twenty year old kid, and

21:40

a kid had a promising racing career, and

21:43

literally, I mean it shut me down, I

21:46

mean absolutely shut me down. I remember flying

21:48

home, I did not leave my bedroom

21:50

for four straight days, wouldn't come

21:52

out, wouldn't talk to anybody. It

21:56

was literally the darkest moment in my time. And

21:59

luckily, a good friend of mine, Jimmy Johnson, recommended

22:02

a guy to me, and the guy flew in and he

22:04

was the first guy I actually spoke to, and

22:07

he was the beginning of my healing process.

22:10

And because of that, I mean,

22:12

there's never a positive out of that. I mean,

22:15

a young man loses his life. But it taught

22:18

me a lot of lessons about how do you

22:20

deal with situations like this, And

22:22

obviously our life we have lots of situations

22:24

that are uncomfortable and unpleasant, not

22:26

near to that extent, but what

22:29

I learned from this man helped me all

22:31

with day to day situations as well on how

22:33

to get through those and how to not let

22:35

it pull me down. And pull me back and hold me underwater.

22:38

So that was the one moment in my

22:40

life where I'd already

22:42

made it to the top Echelono

22:44

Motorsports to become a champion. But

22:48

that was a reality check of doesn't

22:50

matter how big you are, it doesn't matter what you've achieved.

22:52

I mean, you're a human just like everybody

22:55

else. Your emotions and your feelings are

22:57

the same as everybody else, and you have to

22:59

buy ale adversity like everybody else. And

23:01

you know, to this day, I still fight with

23:04

moments like that, but I always remember

23:06

that it has made me better coming out the other

23:08

end of this, and I've been a better

23:10

person because of it. The

23:13

way I deal with my relationships with my family,

23:15

with my wife, with my friends,

23:18

with my teammates has directly

23:20

been affected because of that, and it has made

23:22

me a better person. So I would

23:24

love to trade it in and learn that lesson a

23:27

different way. But I'm grateful that that

23:29

was one thing for me that was a positive

23:31

that came out of a very very negative situation.

23:33

Was how it has changed my life.

23:35

I really appreciate you sharing that.

23:37

That's courageous, dude, And I'll say

23:39

this, man, I learned a long time ago, don't

23:41

try and figure your life out, but drive it crazy.

23:43

We don't know why things happened, dude, You.

23:45

Know, well, there's somebody upstairs that knows

23:47

exactly what the plan is, why it is. We just

23:50

have to accept that he's in control of it

23:51

and be smart enough to sometimes

23:54

take us half a step per step back and listen

23:56

to him.

23:57

What was the best advice that your coach gave

23:59

in therapist or whatever you want to call him, gave

24:02

you to help reconcile that this.

24:04

Well, I think the first part and I'll

24:06

never forget this. One of the first things that he

24:09

reminded me. He goes, this is

24:12

this is going to get easier as time goes on. And

24:14

it's just there's no time frame, there's

24:16

nothing, there's no template. It's just

24:19

going to be your Your mind

24:21

will will work through this. But what he did

24:23

tell me that ended up being peace of mind for me is

24:25

that as time goes on, you'll think about

24:27

it less, and when you do think about

24:29

it, as time goes on, the duration that

24:32

you spend thinking about it will will decrease

24:34

as well, and so at least gives

24:36

you in your mind the image

24:38

of there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that you're gonna

24:41

come out of this at some point. Like

24:43

I said, there's no template that tells you how long that's

24:45

going to be and what that's going to be like. But

24:47

that was the one thing that really

24:49

started to get me to take a

24:52

breath and go, we'll get We will

24:54

get through this at some point.

24:56

One of the things I've done again, figure or not.

24:59

I just lost one of my f through

25:01

suicide, and first I have really lost

25:04

I kind of go about this like we just rent

25:06

these bodies, but the souls live on forever.

25:08

So I talked to them all the time. So I don't

25:10

know if you talk to this kid at all, but talk

25:13

to him, reconcast with him, keep making make

25:15

him your friend, right and make him your friend.

25:17

It's not like, oh my gosh, I did this to him

25:20

or something along those lines, and

25:22

just lean into him.

25:23

So many advice I.

25:24

Could give you there tell me because I

25:26

was really angry with my guy who did it, and I

25:28

love him to death, but I was angry. He

25:30

and I just started talking and that's

25:33

helped me through and I kind of feel.

25:34

Like my friend is still there with me, so, yeah,

25:37

I think it's a great idea. It's you know, I

25:40

through what happened afterwards

25:42

and lawsuits and all that, I learned a lot

25:44

about about this kid and wasn't

25:46

a bad kid, and was a really good

25:48

race car driver, but he had some issues too, and

25:52

some of the issues he had I had to work through

25:54

earlier in my racing career as well, and

25:57

it would have been great to get a chance to know him

25:59

and get a chance to try to talk to him and

26:01

work with him to help him take some

26:03

of the lessons that I had learned and try to

26:05

help him with that as well. And that's what happened

26:07

to me. I had a fellow driver that had a

26:09

way worse situation happened to him and

26:12

asked me one day, he goes, what are you so mad about?

26:15

And I really didn't have a great answer

26:18

to it. But that started a process of learning

26:21

how to deal with situations better

26:23

and how to put things in perspective. And

26:26

what I learned about this young man in

26:29

New York is that there's there's

26:31

some conversations we could have had that possibly

26:33

could have helped him too. So, you know,

26:35

I figure, one day, hopefully we're both going to the same

26:38

place and we'll get a chance

26:40

to talk about it. But I think it's a great

26:42

idea because it's, you know, it was

26:44

very hard on his family and you

26:47

know, they lost their only son, and you

26:50

know, a family that raced together and we're

26:52

tight. It's you know, to be

26:54

able to bond that back together would be great.

26:57

Started having those conversations now now you never

26:59

know, get hurt.

27:01

I agree, Tonnie.

27:02

I really appreciate you joining, man. You are a rock

27:05

star. Brother. I really appreciate your time dude.

27:07

Now and thanks for having us. I enjoyed it.

27:09

Tony Stewart here on the Unbreakable podcast.

27:11

Thank you, brother, Yes, sir,