0:01

This is Unbreakable

0:04

with Jay Glacier, a mental

0:06

Wealth podcast Build

0:09

you from the inside out. Now

0:12

here's Jay Glacier. Welcome

0:14

into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay

0:16

Glazer. I'm Jay Glazer. It's

0:19

a special holiday edition. So the guests

0:21

today are you and

0:23

me. What I want to do

0:25

here is I know the holidays are hard

0:28

for a lot of us, and I

0:30

always wanted looking back now,

0:33

I wish the guy i'm now could

0:35

help the guy was back then to

0:37

get through some of these holidays. Holidays

0:39

are difficult for a lot of us. A lot of times them when family

0:42

is hard, a lot of times, loneliness is hard. It

0:44

hits us hard. So what I want to try and do today

0:47

is see where I can help, See if I can coach,

0:49

See if I can maybe inspire people

0:51

to make these holidays a little bit easier for

0:54

all of us. And some of the things that have kind

0:56

of helped me along the way. So, first

0:58

of all, one of the things that we could really

1:01

do for people who and

1:03

I'll get into people who could be triggered in a

1:06

second, but there's holidays where I

1:08

didn't go anywhere else or I had to work,

1:11

and you know, that kind of that loneliness

1:13

on those holidays gets to Even though I knew

1:15

I was working, it

1:17

still kind of got to me, and the loneliness was

1:20

really hard. So what I try to do on those

1:22

years is I decide I'm going to go be

1:24

of service and I would go feed

1:28

the homeless during Thanksgiving. I

1:30

would go to shelters to help during

1:33

Thanksgiving in the past. Also, I've

1:35

got a military basis and that was through

1:37

Fox. But my point is, if you're of service,

1:40

it really takes away And this is a big goal

1:42

of mine in dealing with the great dealing with your

1:44

depression and anxiety. When we're of service,

1:47

it cuts through that gray and it gets us to see

1:49

the blue. Will no better time for you to be of

1:51

service than the holidays and say

1:53

it on yourself. You know, I'm going to actually celebrate,

1:56

celebrate myself by being of service

1:59

helping others. Could be an animal shelter,

2:01

whatever it is, figure it out.

2:03

When I was really broke in New York City, you know, I

2:05

had a bartend on

2:07

the holidays and there

2:09

was a Barcoe let's make a dacorate at the South Street

2:11

Seaport. I would then go

2:14

get food and I would go out and

2:16

hand them to the homeless, and I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving

2:18

with them. How as that sounds

2:21

some of the best Thanksgivings I've had, people

2:23

will really appreciate it. And

2:26

again, when you were of service, it's

2:29

really hard to tell you bad

2:31

things about yourself. So right

2:34

now on holiday times, we tend to beat up on ourselves

2:36

a lot if we are alone or when your service.

2:40

The roommates in your head don't get that voice.

2:42

The roommates in your head don't get to set

2:45

the narrative. So I can't tell

2:47

you enough how important that is. And by the way,

2:49

even if you do have somewhere to go, figure

2:52

out a place, something some way, you

2:54

could still be of service because you

2:56

have that in your back pocket. No matter what, it

2:58

really helps us during the holidays.

3:01

Number two, lean into your teammates.

3:04

You hear me say this all the time. And

3:07

what I mean by this is, even before you're

3:09

gonna go where you're gonna go, call

3:11

your boys, call your home girls, call your

3:13

sisters, your brothers, call your people and

3:16

say, listen, this may be a

3:18

hard one for me. Are you gonna

3:20

be available? Can I talk to you? If they are.

3:23

If I need to take a step away, can

3:25

I holler? Because a lot of times too somebody will

3:28

say absolutely and they needed it. Also, So

3:31

lean into your teammates, really lean in. Also,

3:33

like I'm saying, at a time like this, going

3:36

into it, if you know that you're

3:38

gonna go, let's see family and it's

3:40

gonna trigger you, talk to your

3:42

crew about it. Talk to your crew about it going in, get

3:44

ideas from them. How could

3:46

I better handle this? How could I

3:49

better not get beat up? How can

3:51

I prevent myself from from

3:53

going down these rabbit holes? So

3:56

have these talks immediately,

3:58

Immediately call your crew, Lean

4:00

into your teammates, a look in. When I'm really

4:03

struggling, I call two people

4:05

used to be for but two people to tell them I'm struggling,

4:08

and then two people to not tell him I'm struggling,

4:10

just to check up on them, because that's being of service.

4:13

So it's another thing, right, if you're having

4:15

difficulties the holidays, just call

4:18

some of your teammates, check up on them, see

4:20

how they're doing. It's another way for

4:22

you to be of service. But it's keeping you connected

4:24

to your teammates, and that's protecting

4:27

your own sanity. It's building

4:29

your own fortress about what can

4:31

keep you happy and keep you safe.

4:34

The whole point is we got to keep ourselves safe here. Number

4:37

three, Stay in your rituals. I now

4:39

I have all these rituals, breathwork, meditation,

4:42

gratitude list, working out. I do a

4:44

cold plunk that Michael Phelps, my brother sent

4:47

me called Chili Goat little plug there for

4:49

him we do. I

4:51

say these prayers with Rosy and myself.

4:55

But I have these rituals that I now do

4:58

religiously. I do this whole thing for my hipsto my

5:00

hips up every day kind of help me. I

5:02

do this stretching routine, I do uh

5:05

again, breath work, I

5:07

do that a couple times a day. Stay in your

5:09

routine so when you go somewhere and you

5:11

know it's going to trigger you again, you want you want

5:14

your rituals and your your schedule

5:16

to be as structured as possible.

5:18

So don't let yourself get thrown off course,

5:21

thrown off base by being

5:23

somewhere else. It's such

5:25

an important

5:27

thing because we tend to go somewhere else

5:30

and you put it on hold. It's

5:32

your support system. Don't get rid

5:34

of your support system. When you need your support

5:36

the most, make sure, no

5:39

matter what, you prioritize what

5:41

your rituals have become. Okay.

5:45

Another thing here, A lot of times when we get

5:47

triggered, okay, we feel

5:49

like that helpless little kid again, that's

5:52

hard, okay, and

5:56

I feel like that helpless are beaten down little kid.

5:58

So a couple of things. Number One, if

6:01

you are triggered, first and foremost,

6:04

immediately forgive yourself. Immediately.

6:08

Just go to that next room, Go

6:10

in that next room, forgive yourself.

6:12

But the other thing I want you to do is

6:16

go in the next room and love that little kid up.

6:18

Okay. So I learned this

6:21

from these monks in Thailand. And

6:25

these monks said to me, Hey, we want you to want

6:27

you to come to do the monk thing. We want you to not talk to anybody,

6:30

and we want you to for three days. I'm not

6:32

talking anybody for three days a month. I got ADHD,

6:35

what are we talking about here? And they said, want

6:37

you to do? And what you call yourself growing

6:39

up was a jay? I said that was Jason. Okay,

6:42

we want you to I'll talk to anybody, and

6:45

we want you to just

6:47

meditate and picture little

6:50

Jason and hold his hand,

6:53

put your arm around him, tell

6:55

him you got him, it's gonna be okay, And

6:58

show him some compassion because

7:00

he probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or

7:02

at any Love that little

7:04

kid up. It changed my life.

7:07

A lot of the issues I've had has

7:09

been that triggered little kid, that beating

7:12

down little kids. Not I wouldn't phasily

7:14

beat down my parents or anything, but man,

7:17

I was a runt to the litter. I was tiny grown up. It was

7:19

rough in the Jersey Shore. When

7:21

you're so tiny. Man, I wrestled one hundred and

7:23

one pounds in high schools on one on one pattern.

7:26

He got shuw. Man, it was rough.

7:28

I built myself up in a Jay Glazer. Who I am

7:30

now? Because how were ugh? That was? But

7:34

love that little kid up. And like

7:36

I said, to this day, when I have these

7:38

little outbursts, I realize it's him,

7:41

the little kid who's screaming out

7:43

for help, feels like he did something

7:45

wrong, feels like he deserves

7:47

to be punished. To show that little

7:49

kid compassion, literally go to the next room

7:52

forgive yourself you get triggered, and love

7:55

that little queed up. And recently

7:57

I haven't had an issue. I had an issue in sparring.

8:00

While I was having like he's little, I

8:02

wasn't myself. And I went to Greg Harden

8:04

and may Rest apple in Peace, who

8:06

was the mental performance coach for

8:09

Tom Brady and Michael Phelps and Charles

8:11

Woods and these guys. He's like Jay that for some reason

8:13

that scared little kids coming out of It's like, Greg,

8:15

I've been sparn been fighting for years,

8:18

man. I started wrestling in nineteen eighty

8:20

two and boxing at eighty eight, and MMA

8:22

in two thousand and what do you mean? He

8:24

said, there's something going on with that little kid.

8:27

Well, he's horrifying right now, and

8:30

you had to let him know he's safe and comfort him.

8:34

And started talking to my therapist about

8:36

it. And I got to the bottom of it. And

8:38

now I got his back and make sure I get that little

8:40

kids back. So and

8:43

those kinds made it sound a little foreigner people.

8:46

That was a lot for me. Like that scared little

8:48

kid. He became the dominant

8:50

voice instead of Jay Glazer

8:53

Warrior, Jay Glazer being that dominant voice,

8:56

and I couldn't shut him up because you don't want to

8:58

shut that kid up. You got to comfort him.

9:00

So now we're at the holidays, we get triggered.

9:02

A lot of times it's that same kid,

9:06

and you may have a hard time with

9:08

parents or brothers and sisters, or you

9:10

know, just your hometown wherever it is,

9:13

but you become that scared little kid again. So

9:16

make sure that you practice I got

9:18

you, I got you. Love that kid

9:20

up, love him or her up, Hug

9:23

them, hold their hands. Another

9:25

great thing for your game is,

9:28

I'm doing this podcast because

9:30

there's an awful lot of you, well,

9:33

awful lot of us, and felt this way on holidays.

9:36

So when you think about it way, I'm in the majority

9:38

today, I'm not alone. I'm far from

9:40

alone. Man, I'm not

9:42

alone at all. There are so many

9:44

other people who are going through it right now. So

9:47

realizing you're probably in the majority, so

9:49

we're not alone. If you get triggered,

9:51

you're gonna get triggered. It's okay, don't beat up on yourself.

9:54

We're gonna forgive ourselves right

9:56

then, we're gonna do another room. We're gonna love that little kid up,

9:58

comfort that little kid, and also

10:00

know that little kid's most important. Okay,

10:03

your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your friends,

10:06

your hometown, people, whatever, they're not most important.

10:08

That little kid is. I cannot stress

10:11

this enough. That little kid is. You are

10:13

most important. Give yourself

10:16

some grace, forgive yourself. Realize

10:18

also, hey, this isn't gonna be forever. It's

10:20

a couple of days here, staying

10:22

in rituals, be of service,

10:25

whether it's calling others or actually

10:27

going and doing something people

10:30

who are in need. On Thanksgiving, for

10:32

the holidays here, lean into

10:34

your teammates. Make sure

10:36

you're there for them and they're there for you. Lean into

10:38

them going into it, Be proactive about it,

10:41

and make sure that you're being good there

10:43

as well, and you're leaning into them

10:45

also at that point, and

10:49

make sure that no matter what happens on

10:52

these holidays, you do know that you

10:54

are loved. May not feel it

10:56

where you are, where you are, we

10:58

all got teammates. The teammate

11:00

of mim My Dog's teammates, Rosie's a teammate,

11:03

even though I didn't have her until you know, four years

11:05

ago. There are teammates everywhere, right,

11:07

You just got to see it and make

11:10

sure you know you are not alone.

11:13

And you know, finally, like

11:15

I said, love that little kid up, but also love the adult

11:18

you up as well. Man,

11:20

If you get thrown off kilter or give yourself,

11:23

get yourself back on track. It's

11:25

never too late to start over. Even if you make a big mistake

11:28

and you have an outburst or something along those lines. If

11:30

you have a milktown, just restart

11:33

again. It's okay, start

11:35

from square one. We're good with that. Yeah, there's

11:37

no shame in that. The great

11:39

part is as long as you just keep moving forward. If

11:41

you fall down, get back up, brush

11:44

yourself off. Let's all keep walking

11:46

this walk together. Love y'all,

11:49

Happy holidays, and I am grateful

11:51

and thankful for all of you. You

11:53

guys have given me my purpose. You

11:56

guys have all given me my why. Never

11:58

knew that my pain would lead to

12:00

helping others through theirs, So

12:03

I am so incredibly thankful for

12:05

all of you during these holies. Love

12:08

y'all,