0:01

This is Unbreakable

0:04

with Jay Glacier, a mental

0:06

wealth podcast, build

0:09

you from the inside out. Now

0:12

here's Jay Glacier. Welcome

0:14

into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with

0:16

Jay Glazer. I'm Jay Glazer, and

0:19

I do this podcast to help empower

0:22

and inspire people to

0:24

overcome adversity, to get through adversity, because we

0:26

don't really need books and podcasts to

0:28

help us in the good times.

0:29

That's easy.

0:31

Life is really about getting through the hard times and getting

0:33

through challenges. And those of us who get

0:35

through them better really have I

0:38

think a much quicker path to

0:40

success. To get to success.

0:43

And look, a lot of people in the NFL watch

0:45

his podcast thankfully. And this

0:48

in the NFL is a difficult week for

0:50

a lot of people because the week where coaches

0:53

lose their jobs is turnover. There's

0:55

no guidebook for that. That's why I'm

0:57

proud to be joined by Dennis Allen, former

1:00

head coach of the New Orleans Saints and Oakland

1:02

Raiders, and Dennis kind enough to join us. First

1:05

of all, thank you, brother, appreciate it. Man to

1:07

help these coaches of what you're gonna go

1:09

through. Dennis lost the job this year with

1:11

the New Orleans Saints been season and there isn't

1:13

And he and I were talking about there's no guy, there's

1:16

no Hey. This is what you go through, This is the emotions,

1:18

This is kind of a track you fall into.

1:20

This is what happens to you.

1:22

So I'm like, you know, it's great that friends

1:24

will come on to use

1:26

their experiences to help out this. So again, thank you for joining.

1:28

Man. Yeah, absolutely, Man excited about doing this?

1:31

Are you really?

1:31

Yeah?

1:34

He's again want to get fired? Now I gotta go in places

1:37

podcast? So you know, first

1:39

of all, real quick, like I guess we'll go over

1:41

different emotions. But when it first happens,

1:44

when you get fired, First of all, how many

1:46

like how many people I always tell coaches,

1:48

gms, whatever, head You get a chance to watch your own funeral.

1:51

And what I mean by that is it's

1:53

a very valuable lesson because

1:55

you get to see who carried

1:58

the casket, who kicked

2:00

during the casket, who's laughing that you got

2:02

put in the ground, who's like I said, who

2:04

carried you?

2:04

Ask it?

2:05

Who's really there for you? And

2:07

well it sucks for a lot of people fall off. Afterwards,

2:10

you get to really know who to put your time and effort,

2:13

you're soul into what's it like

2:15

like in that way? I guess

2:17

shortly after them, in the weeks and

2:19

months after.

2:20

That, Yeah, well I

2:22

think initially, man,

2:24

you have a lot of people that reach out to

2:26

you and you know, offer

2:28

support. Maybe it's a call, maybe

2:31

it's a text. You know, obviously it's a really busy

2:33

time of year, so you know, coaches

2:35

don't have a lot of time to have hour

2:38

two hour long phone calls, you know, so usually

2:40

it's some sort of a text just giving

2:42

you support, telling you you know, hey,

2:44

look, we know you're a great coach. You

2:46

know you're gonna land on your feet. You know, best

2:49

of luck to you, hope if I can

2:51

do anything for you, just letting me know, you know that

2:54

that kind of stuff. That's

2:56

what happens in the first couple

2:58

of days. And then as

3:00

the days go on, those become

3:03

less and less, and then what you what

3:05

you see is the people

3:08

that really are there for

3:10

you. They're the ones that you know they're

3:12

going to check on you. You know, they

3:15

send you a text the first week, you know,

3:17

and then ten days later you're going to get another

3:19

text, Hey, just checking on you, you know, and then you get

3:21

into the holiday season and it's Happy

3:23

Thanksgiving, and then it's Merry Christmas

3:26

and Happy New Year and all the and so uh,

3:29

it's it's obviously an

3:32

interesting dynamic

3:34

to see. And look, I believe

3:36

I'm fortunate that I feel like I've got

3:38

a lot of people that have reached out to me and shown

3:40

me a lot of support.

3:42

What's the percentage that drop off? Like I'd

3:44

say, you had a couple of hundred texts when

3:46

it first happens, and then you're down to Yeah,

3:48

then you're down twenty fifty, you're

3:51

down to ten.

3:51

You know, you're getting

3:54

a couple of week.

3:55

Do you appreciate the ten or do you get resemful

3:57

of the one ninety that stopped checking it?

3:59

I think you always got to be appreciative of the tent, you

4:01

know, because look,

4:04

I'm kind of a glass half full type of guy, you

4:07

know, and so I

4:09

don't get real been out of shape

4:11

about people that don't do things. I

4:13

try to be more appreciative of the things that I do.

4:15

Get When you got fired or

4:18

you you get a chance to think about it. The players, you

4:21

like, what's the process?

4:22

You know, how quickly you have the office so It's

4:25

kind of weird because you know, typically

4:28

it's going to happen on a

4:31

Monday morning, maybe

4:33

it's a Tuesday, depending on when it when

4:35

it is, But like,

4:38

for instance, in this instance, I

4:41

was like, go on Monday morning, Mickey

4:43

came into my office, closed

4:46

the door, said let's talk Mickey

4:48

Loomis. And Mickey

4:50

was not really in favor of this move. Uh

4:53

and and we talked, uh

4:56

and we had a really good conversation. So

5:00

then he kind of said, well, let

5:02

me let me there's a couple of guys. I want to talk to

5:04

the coordinators. You

5:06

know, I want to talk to Darren Rizzy,

5:08

who's you know, he's going to have coach

5:10

you want to talk to. He wanted

5:13

to talk to them, and I said, I said,

5:15

look, I just you know, I want

5:17

to I want to be able to address the staff. I want

5:19

to be able to talk to the staff. And

5:21

so I had a meeting. Usually

5:24

we have the players come in at eleven o'clock,

5:27

and I had a meeting at ten

5:29

o'clock with the coaches and you

5:32

know, told them, hey, look this is

5:34

what happened.

5:35

Wow, this is you

5:37

take all the coach and say, hey, I just got I got

5:39

fired, I got I gotta let go.

5:41

It's all conversation. That's it's

5:43

It's an awful conversation, you know, because

5:46

when when when the coach gets fired,

5:50

it doesn't just affect the head coach.

5:53

It affects the head coaches family.

5:56

It affects all these assistant

5:59

coaches. It affects their families,

6:01

It affects the people in personnel and their families,

6:04

because you

6:06

know, like I was the one that brought a lot

6:08

of these people here into

6:10

this organization, and there's gonna be a lot of change.

6:12

And so not only does

6:15

it affect me and my family and what we've got to

6:17

go through and where we have

6:19

to pick up and figure out what we're going to do next,

6:22

it also affects all these other coaches

6:25

and their families. And obviously as

6:27

the head coach, I've I've

6:29

been fortunate enough to have enough success and

6:33

I've got enough status in this league,

6:35

and I've made enough

6:37

money that I feel like like I'm

6:40

gonna be able to be okay and I'm going to be able

6:42

to provide for my family. But there's some young guys

6:45

that are on my staff that, man, it's gonna

6:47

be really hard for them, and so I've got to figure

6:49

out how I'm gonna help them stay

6:51

alive in this professional do.

6:53

You tell your staff how long is

6:55

you? And then after you tell your staff, okay,

6:57

good chance, tell them players or no?

7:00

Usually not. And you know again

7:02

because in the

7:05

in the in the world that we live in nowadays,

7:08

like things happen and it

7:10

becomes now public knowledge, and it

7:12

happens fast. And so

7:15

as a prideful man, I don't

7:18

want to be walking out of the parking

7:20

lot with a thousand cameras

7:22

on me, you know. And

7:25

given that, you know part of the story.

7:28

So most of my stuff with

7:30

the players ended up being you know, sending

7:32

in a text you know, or call

7:34

or whatever.

7:35

And uh, but it's pretty wild too

7:37

you think about it. You're you're in New Orleans

7:39

forra total fifteen years, right, and then you're

7:41

fired and you're just gone. It's

7:44

like again, you guys say, next man up. For players,

7:46

it's same thing with what happens when a coach cats youm

7:48

moved to and just the players they just never see

7:50

again, you know. And these guys for a long I mean, how long were

7:53

you with kem Jurdan for well,

7:55

so much of his career, most of us

7:57

got we don't.

7:58

See him again since two thousand, when in fifteen

8:00

I was I was with the cancer. What's that nine years?

8:03

Right?

8:03

You know what I'm saying, and then ultimate one day you

8:06

just don't see that.

8:07

It's tough. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's hard.

8:09

It's hard because you go through so much

8:11

together, you know, in the profession

8:14

that we're in, a it's a it's

8:16

a great profession, but it's a difficult

8:18

business to be in. And you

8:20

know, here's the thing for the players it's really

8:23

difficult. Is they see

8:25

it a lot more than we do as coaches, because

8:27

when you really think about it, when you go through training

8:29

camp, we fire or

8:32

cut you know, thirty

8:34

forty right people

8:38

in training camp, right, and so their

8:40

friends each year, year, each year, and

8:44

they just got to show up, back out of practice

8:46

the next day and here we go, right, you know, And

8:48

so man, it's kind of an interesting

8:51

tough time.

8:52

Yeah, do you almost prepare because

8:54

you've been around it and your dad playing the NFL,

8:56

you've been around it. Is it easier for

8:58

you to say yours elf, Hey,

9:01

it's just the way the league is. I'm just not gonna see people.

9:03

I'm not gonna hear from a lot of people because they got

9:05

a game.

9:05

Sunday and that's it. Or it's still like,

9:08

man, it's it hard to play

9:10

that mind game something yeah, well yeah,

9:14

and you got to try not to, you

9:17

know, I

9:19

try to not

9:23

project my self or my

9:25

feelings onto

9:27

somebody else, meaning I don't know what's

9:30

going through their mind. I

9:32

don't know what how are they

9:35

look, it's a hard process for them to deal with,

9:37

like how do they process that information?

9:41

You know? And even all my staff, you know,

9:43

I had some guys that came

9:46

in and saw me right after I

9:48

had a meeting. They came

9:50

into my came into my office

9:54

and said, you know, hey, I appreciate you

9:57

know what you've done for me, and I appreciate how you've

10:00

help me along. I've had some

10:03

guys that then I get a text

10:05

from them a day later. Some guys called

10:07

me a week later. You know, they just they'll

10:09

process differently. Well, it's

10:12

let's let's process grief how

10:15

we process grief, right, like, and

10:17

you have to allow people to be able to process it the

10:19

way that they need to process it.

10:21

Interesting. What

10:23

advice would you give to people this week? Now

10:26

that you've been through twice who were

10:29

just going from So.

10:30

I would say this, I would say, look,

10:32

you have to control the things that you can control,

10:35

and you can't control somebody

10:37

else's decision on what they want to do with

10:39

their business. And

10:42

so look, you wake up as a as

10:45

a head coach every day or as a coach every

10:47

day, and and you have one

10:49

of your purposes is to help

10:52

people get better? Right, well,

10:55

so how do I how

10:57

do I fulfill that purpose? I pour that out

10:59

into my family, you

11:01

know. So I spent the

11:04

last what's it been two months really

11:07

trying to pour into my family because

11:09

as coach, you miss a lot, like you know, you

11:11

miss Thanksgiving, you miss Christmas,

11:14

those things with your family. I mean a lot of times

11:16

those are like you go into work

11:18

half day and then you get half

11:20

half of that day, Whereas you know, a lot of

11:23

people in this world get to experience those

11:25

things. So you just pour into your family, like I've

11:27

done a couple of you know, kind of vacation

11:30

things to get away. I went and saw my

11:32

daughter swim in Cleveland. I went

11:34

and saw my son's swim and Charlotte, things

11:36

that I don't normally get an opportunity

11:39

to do so, appreciate that.

11:40

Appreciate that because it's the only time you're ever going to

11:42

do it, really, when you're fired. There's no other

11:44

time. No, you're gonna be able to do this, if you're

11:47

a coach in the NFL, if you're a personnel

11:49

anything that's right.

11:50

And so again, let's

11:54

it's a tough situation. Nobody likes it. I

11:56

mean, it hurts, right, But

11:59

you can sit there and dwell on the negatives, or

12:02

you can take a bad situation

12:04

and try to turn it into a positive. And so I try

12:07

to, you know, pour that into my family

12:09

and get to spend some family time that

12:11

you know, look, unfortunately

12:14

in our lead, you hope that you don't really get a chance

12:16

to do that a.

12:16

Lot, right, you know a lot

12:19

of times when I when things will happen with me,

12:21

it's easy to say, man, you're angry when

12:23

it happens. One of the things I'm trying to

12:25

do with my like to help myself

12:28

is take away the resentment toward whatever

12:31

I was helping and just like, what was

12:33

my culpability?

12:35

What was this? Now?

12:36

A lot of times it could have been there a full one hundred percent but

12:38

I still if I live in that way and

12:41

just have blame and resentment toward that person,

12:44

I'm never going to get through it. I mean,

12:46

what did you do here between the years? Like

12:49

I say, I played that little game with myself. Is

12:51

there anything else you've done to kind of because

12:54

we can't move forward in resentment? Right?

12:56

Yeah? That again I think

12:58

this. I think I really try

13:00

to focus on controlling the things that I

13:02

can control, and when I think about

13:05

getting fired, I really think about,

13:07

well, look, as this

13:10

is your this is your company, this is

13:12

your organization. You

13:14

have the right to do whatever you want to do with that.

13:16

And I don't look at it as you

13:19

know, I failed. I

13:21

look at it as they just decided

13:23

they wanted to go in a different direction. And if

13:26

I'm not what they want, I

13:28

think there's a lot of thoughts that I will be what they

13:30

want.

13:30

Right the guy I found in an organization

13:33

where I help people veterans

13:36

and athletes get through transition

13:39

of not having your locker room. And that was the biggest

13:41

thing. When you lose your locker room, it sucks.

13:43

And that's you know, always talk about one

13:46

of the biggest ways we get through I

13:48

call the great depression, anxiety, his team.

13:51

Have your team, team, team, team, team. When

13:53

you lose, it sucks.

13:54

It's a scary thing. It's about guys like me, still sparred

13:56

fifty five years of age. I need

13:59

that, I need my team, I need my locker and

14:01

everybody, Scotts, what are you still doing this for? I'm

14:03

doing it because I need that group.

14:07

How hard is that to lose your locker

14:09

room? I would think that's one of the more

14:11

difficult parts of it.

14:12

It's Look, it's the most difficult

14:14

part because you spend so much time with these

14:17

players, these coaches, these

14:19

personnel people, and there

14:22

you're there, You're

14:25

you spend more time with them than you do with your

14:27

family sometimes. And so what

14:31

you have to do is find out who's

14:34

your other team. So

14:37

my other team is my

14:39

family, my wife, my

14:42

son, my daughter, my

14:45

mom, my brother, my sister,

14:48

and you lean into them and they become

14:51

your your team, you

14:53

know. And then you have friends, you have friends

14:55

like Jay Glazier that you can lean into uh

14:58

and talk to and and feel like you're still

15:01

part of something that's bigger than yourself, you

15:04

know. And so you just got to find who's

15:06

your who's your next team, and your next

15:08

team, not necessarily is the

15:10

next NFL team you work for.

15:12

You were telling my wife the other

15:14

day, how many places have

15:17

you been in your hold?

15:19

You? I am fifty two?

15:21

Fifty two? May you look terrible?

15:23

Yeah?

15:23

Oh, I

15:27

on the other hand, looked that guy exactly.

15:30

How many places?

15:31

How many stops have you lived in in

15:33

your when'd you start your career?

15:35

Uh? So I started when I finished playing

15:38

at Texas A and M. So my first year

15:40

coaching was nineteen ninety sixty twenty

15:44

three.

15:44

Okay, who was that? Twenty nine

15:46

years? Yeah? Okay? How many different

15:49

places have you lived in twenty nine years? This

15:52

is the thing that people don't get. They don't understand,

15:54

like your wife, kids left, and how many places

15:56

you have to move? Yeah, it was just you know, my wife

15:59

was just this.

16:00

Yeah, well, so

16:03

I was my wife and I we got

16:05

married as soon as I finished playing football, so she's

16:08

been with me through this whole thing. We

16:11

coached as graduate assistant

16:13

Texa A and M for four years, and

16:16

we were two years at the University of Tulsa.

16:19

We were four years at

16:22

the Atlanta Falcons. We were five years

16:24

with the New Orleans Saints. We're one season with the

16:27

Denver Broncos. We were three seasons

16:29

with the Oakland Raiders. We came back to New

16:32

Orleans for now ten years

16:35

and then now we're where.

16:37

We're going to be seven places, Yeah, seven

16:39

places, and I'm fortunate. I'm

16:41

fortunate I had stays of four

16:44

years, five years, ten years. You

16:46

know, like there's a lot of coaches

16:49

that are there for two years, three

16:51

years, and then they're moving on.

16:53

The kids can never get friends because they've got to bounce around.

16:55

Absolutely like an army prize. Absolutely,

16:57

it's very similar. You know, like

17:00

I look at it like I'm I'm fortunate that I've

17:02

been able to spend fifteen years in one spot.

17:05

Not many people in our profession get to do that.

17:07

So it's yeah,

17:09

there's a lot of picking up and moving and so

17:11

you got to have a strong family dynamic

17:14

to get through it over time.

17:15

Do you again you still look, you know, be

17:17

the same for that last ten years. That's a long period.

17:20

But again four two, three, whatever

17:22

it is, do you intentionally

17:25

make sure you don't get close to people because you know you can leave

17:27

or you say no, I'm friends nowt it's good.

17:30

We'll collect them over over the years.

17:32

Well, no, I think you've got to

17:34

be where your feet are at that moment,

17:36

and you've got to try to, you know, invest

17:39

everything you possibly can into that situation

17:43

for the amount of time that you're there, you know, and

17:46

then when it becomes time to move

17:48

on, then you move on. And here's the cool thing.

17:50

Like I was talking to my wife about

17:52

this, you know, because again, like I said,

17:54

this doesn't just affect me, right, this

17:57

affects everybody, and it's difficult

17:59

on her.

18:01

But like I said to her, you

18:03

know, look when we we

18:06

were in New Orleans for five years,

18:08

and she had a friend

18:10

that she became really really close to, and

18:13

they hung out and they did everything together. And

18:15

then all of a sudden, we move and we go to

18:19

Denver, and obviously

18:22

it's for promotion, so there's

18:24

that positive part of it. But then

18:26

she meets Kelly McCoy, who she becomes

18:28

friends with and she still talks to to

18:30

this day. And then we leave Denver

18:33

and we go to Oakland and we start

18:35

over and we've got friends that lived

18:37

across the street from us that we still vacation

18:39

with and do all kinds of different stuff

18:42

with that have become best friends to us,

18:44

and so like each move,

18:48

man, I look at it like we had an opportunity

18:50

to make some really great friends

18:52

that are friends for life. So

18:55

that's cool.

18:55

Like that, we bring up my wife, Allison, what

18:57

advice would you give lives out there had

19:00

to go through this when this happens. Yeah,

19:02

I think just these, like you said, they're just as

19:04

bad a part.

19:05

I think, I think the key to the

19:08

whole thing is is just you know,

19:11

enjoy and appreciate the

19:14

things that you have or had and

19:18

try to try to try to think

19:20

about it from the the positive

19:23

aspect and don't dwell so much

19:25

on well this

19:28

happened and why did this happen and how

19:31

come? And and I don't really

19:33

try to figure out the wise and I and I encourage

19:35

her not to really figure out the wise

19:38

because we don't know the

19:40

wise because it wasn't our decision

19:42

and we weren't in control of it. So I

19:45

would I would encourage all

19:48

the wives to really

19:52

just try to enjoy the

19:55

time that you have with your with your family

19:57

and have your family altogether, and

20:00

not worry about, you know, the negative

20:02

aspect of it and what you lost.

20:04

Yeah, because I think there's an interesting dynamic because

20:07

the wives are usually angrier than the husbands,

20:10

right, But at the same time, right, no questions

20:12

because they're protectors. But at the same

20:14

time, when they're angry, you're

20:17

like, let's pull it off because then I don't

20:19

want to be angry. I don't want to live in that. So

20:21

they're protecting you. At the same time, you're

20:24

like, hey, we need more positivity, but it's hard for them to be positive

20:26

because they're protecting you.

20:27

Yeah, And I would say

20:29

that that's a struggle for me individually,

20:33

and I would assume I probably

20:35

can't speak for other people, but just I

20:38

would assume that that's probably something

20:40

that all coaches kind of go through because

20:43

we we're we're we're

20:46

so used to we don't need help,

20:49

you know, we can handle it. We

20:52

can deal with it, you know. And so

20:56

and like I said, everybody, everybody

20:58

a grieves differently, right, and so you have

21:00

to allow people to grieve in

21:02

their way. And I think, look, it's obviously,

21:05

you know, a challenge for me, and I have to work on that

21:07

with her.

21:08

You know. The head coaching job is interesting. And I go

21:10

and talk to team a lot now and I tell all the players

21:12

listen, leaders and coaches. Leaders

21:15

take care everybody else who takes care

21:17

of the leaders, who's there for them. They got to take

21:19

on all yourself, all your grief. Every time

21:21

there's a tragic, every time there's an issue, whatever

21:23

it is, it all comes across your desk. And

21:26

you train to be a football coach.

21:28

You didn't go to school for psychology or you're a psychiatry

21:31

or trum a trump expert. And I really

21:33

learned this back

21:36

in and I'm

21:38

going to say, oh five, Mike Nolan

21:40

was the head coach of the forty nine ers, his

21:43

first ever training camp,

21:46

their first preseason game. You're

21:49

right tackle Thomas Arrah who

21:52

passed away in the locker room right

21:54

there, and just

21:56

first time, first time a preseason game. Guys with his

21:58

whole life to be a you know, head coach, first

22:01

ever a preseason game. And I remember

22:03

talking to his wife. I said, how was he holding up? She's like,

22:05

not good. Just's

22:08

he's acting like he's good so

22:10

he could be there for everyone else. But I'm

22:12

worried about I said, I'm on a plane

22:15

and I lived in New York.

22:16

I live.

22:17

He often a plane, flew across the country to

22:20

make sure he had someone to cry to and someone break

22:22

down to. And it was just like that, like he

22:24

and was in some hotel

22:27

room he could walk it in, just started

22:29

crying.

22:30

Right.

22:30

But that's my point. There's no schooling.

22:33

How do you lead fifty three other men the whole

22:35

building through a tragedy?

22:37

How do you lead people through when you have, you

22:41

know, in personal issues in the building,

22:43

Like there is no forse

22:45

for this for a head coach. And I always thought

22:47

it was just an interesting dynamic, and especially this,

22:49

like you've got to be there for everybody else, but who's there for

22:51

you?

22:52

Yeah, And I think that's where you

22:57

have to have somebody that you can lean into, the

23:00

not in that building all the time.

23:04

And so it has

23:06

to be your escape. It has to be

23:08

your way to get away. For me, that's my family,

23:11

right, you know, because you

23:13

do deal with a lot of things, and again

23:16

there is no there's no manual

23:20

for how to deal with these things. You just

23:22

have to kind of

23:24

step back and give

23:27

yourself a moment to think about, how

23:30

do I want to you know, approach

23:32

this and and and I'm sure there's probably

23:34

times where you approach it better than others,

23:37

Like in that situation you're talking about with

23:39

Mike Nolan, I mean, how

23:41

do you how do you deal with that? But

23:44

what you have to do is somebody

23:47

has to stand up and be out

23:49

front and be

23:52

a sense of calmness and

23:57

a sense of security that

23:59

everything's gonna be okay, even

24:02

though inside it

24:04

may not be. And

24:07

so because when

24:09

you get in those situations, there's

24:11

so many crazy

24:13

thoughts that are going through everybody's

24:15

head and you have no idea what's going through everybody's

24:18

head because again, people handle things differently,

24:20

right, And so what

24:24

you what you have to be is you have to be the guy

24:26

that's out front that's gonna, you know,

24:28

give everybody a sense of calmness.

24:30

But there's no godbook to tell you that.

24:32

No, you just have to figure it out on the fly, correct, Right.

24:34

It's just any situation is

24:37

different, right, I mean, like how do you

24:39

handle these things? Right?

24:40

And there's all sorts of stuff that comes across your like you got

24:42

to deal with baby Mama drama,

24:44

you gotta do right, You gotta deal with

24:47

agents, but you gotta deal with players all of a sudden,

24:49

like man one day and look, we're all I

24:52

think the world is a is a I'm

24:55

gonna say it's a little crazier now than never before

24:57

because of social media. So now there's all this pressure

25:00

that guys didn't have way back in the day

25:02

when you started and I started, And they're worried

25:04

about what people are thinking, and they're you know, getting

25:06

crushed on just Twitter NonStop,

25:09

and you

25:12

know these are these are sensive cat It's funny.

25:14

My fight team and I we well teammates

25:16

and I like me Randy guitar marker and

25:18

Alex Carolex has got together recently and

25:21

we were joking around saying, you know that old sticks

25:23

and stones way break my bones, and words and never hurt

25:25

me. We're the opposite six and soelves do not

25:27

break our bones. But man, words

25:29

hit the hurt the ship out of us. You

25:33

deal with some sensitive ass people.

25:35

We are sensitive man, and you've

25:37

got to deal with all that again while

25:39

you're trying to put together a game plan for

25:42

everybody else. Is the head coaching job more about that

25:45

or more about the game plan?

25:47

Oh, it's definitely more about managing people because

25:52

and again, there's so much more that goes into it than

25:55

just football. You

25:57

know, in the in the world that we live in was

25:59

social and and everything

26:03

everything that every person does in

26:05

the National Football League has lived out in the public

26:07

eye, and so you're

26:09

constantly having to deal

26:11

with what other

26:14

people's thoughts and opinions

26:16

are about you. And

26:18

so again, I think

26:20

that's where you just got to be able to talk to your players

26:23

and get them to understand. Look,

26:26

again, control the controllables.

26:28

Control the things that you can

26:31

control, you know with which

26:33

is your work ethic, which is your attitude,

26:36

which is your love for the for the sport,

26:38

and your love for your teammates, and

26:41

your willingness to go to battle with those guys.

26:44

Because a you're never going to make everybody

26:46

happy, and so be

26:51

you can't control the way somebody is

26:53

going to feel about you, and so you

26:56

know, and that's

26:58

easier said than none.

26:59

Yeah, because back in the day, it used to be, hey, don't

27:01

read the paper, and it was there for one day. If you didn't

27:03

read that paper, the next day, you're okay. Now

27:06

that doesn't exist.

27:06

Well, you can't avoid it. You can't

27:08

avoid it. And in all of us.

27:11

And you can tell these guys not to go on social media,

27:13

they're gonna go on it. That's it as

27:16

much as you can tell them, they go or if they don't

27:18

go on it, some one of their circle goes on and start

27:20

telling them. Then you want to look up what did this person say about

27:22

me?

27:23

Exactly right, you know, and so which

27:27

is it? It's it's it's

27:29

difficult.

27:29

Yeah, they can't. Yeah, coaches can't just say get up

27:32

social media and it's not gonna work, and and you

27:34

got to deal with it better.

27:36

And so you just got to try to educate

27:39

them on look, you're not gonna

27:41

make everybody happy. You're

27:43

not gonna nobody has

27:46

the perfect scenario. And so you

27:49

have to think about you and

27:53

what are you doing? And it's all about

27:55

your own self satisfaction. Don't

27:58

ever let somebody else else have

28:01

the power over you to control your

28:05

mood or control your happiness.

28:08

Your happiness has to be controlled

28:10

by how you feel about yourself. And

28:13

again in the day of the teacher's

28:15

stead that done when when the

28:17

head coach gets fired, it's not just the head

28:19

coach. There's a lot of things that go into

28:21

that, you know, I mean, you

28:24

know there's some there's

28:26

certainly some some things that from a

28:28

coaching standpoint that needed to be done

28:30

better. Right from the head coaches standpoint,

28:33

from the coordinator standpoint, from the assistant coaches

28:35

standpoint, and there's some things from a playing

28:37

standpoint that needed to be done better. You

28:39

know, very rarely do you see the players playing

28:43

great and the head coach get fired. Right,

28:46

So there's a lot of factors that go into it. There's some

28:48

personnel decisions that go into it, you

28:52

know, and uh, but as the

28:54

head coach, you know, it

28:56

falls under your guys and responsibility

28:59

for the whole organization and so so

29:01

therefore that's usually you

29:03

know, where the change occurs. But

29:08

there's usually a lot of other things within

29:11

the organization that need some change when

29:13

those things happen.

29:15

So I've had guys go both ways in this. When you

29:17

lose your job, some guys

29:20

they still dive in, like I just love footall.

29:22

I'm gonna keep I'm gonna watch everything next week

29:24

and after it keep doing it. You know, looking at guys

29:26

personal and some other guys say I turn it off completely.

29:28

I just need to step away and exhale,

29:32

which is your way. I'm

29:34

closer to the second way. I'm closer

29:37

to the exhale, get away

29:39

from it all. You

29:41

know, Look, it's it's

29:44

part of It's not it's not who I am,

29:46

but it's part of what I am, right right, And

29:48

it's been that way for a long time. I mean, I started

29:50

playing tackle football in the second grade, so

29:53

it's always been a part of my life

29:56

and so it's hard to just totally eliminate

29:59

it. But like I said, I

30:02

want to choose that time to do

30:05

things with my family that I

30:07

don't I don't have a chance to

30:09

do. And so that's that's because

30:12

I'm not gonna forget football in two months, right

30:15

right right.

30:15

I'm still gonna know how to coach football.

30:19

And I know that that I'll have other

30:22

opportunities. I don't know what those opportunities

30:24

are going to be, but I know I'm

30:26

gonna have other opportunities, and so I'm

30:29

gonna try to get away from it. I'm gonna try to relax

30:31

a little bit, because you

30:34

know, you get into the season and it's

30:37

twenty twenty hour days, you

30:40

know, seven days a week you're working,

30:42

you know, and so recharge

30:44

the battery a little bit, put

30:46

put your energy into other areas

30:49

that you probably have been lacking

30:51

in a little bit. I mean, I

30:53

get back into working out, you know,

30:56

spend time with the family, take some

30:58

vacations that you don't normally get to do, and

31:01

then wait till the end of the year and then figure

31:03

out what you want to do.

31:04

By the way, they're working out part because every

31:07

coach is health suffers during the season and

31:09

they'll do like you, Hey, when I get some time off,

31:12

I'm gonna eat right, I'm gonna you know, I wanna,

31:14

I'm gonna work out and all that stuff, which never makes

31:16

sense to me because you have all these strength

31:18

coaches in the building, you have people work on your body,

31:21

you have chefs in the building. And I'm always trying

31:23

to convince my guys like I just don't have

31:25

time. But man, if you made that forty

31:29

minutes a day, whatever, it is right

31:31

and now it's it's kind of hard because

31:33

you just don't think. Man, there's not

31:35

enough hours in day to get your job done.

31:37

But it is amazing to me.

31:38

After all the time, we all know what the pitfalls

31:40

are, and everyone's cholesterol

31:42

goes through the ceiling, everyone's

31:45

blood pressure goes through the ceiling.

31:47

It's a it's toxic to your

31:49

body.

31:50

I wish we can get coaches to put

31:53

that time aside, there's not a lot on to do, like

31:55

like Seaman Bay does. Yeah, right, Matt,

31:58

what floor does. There's guys who you know, Kevin, they

32:01

make sure they do that.

32:03

What's interesting you mentioned those names because those are

32:05

some of the most successful coaches in our business,

32:08

you know, and and they

32:10

do a great job with their teams, and their

32:12

teams are always well prepared, they

32:15

always execute, and so you can still

32:17

come up with a game plan, you

32:20

can find time to do it. You

32:22

know. I wasn't one of those

32:25

guys, but most aren't. Most It's

32:27

so here's what's interesting, right, So

32:29

you think I'm going to get

32:31

exercise and

32:35

that's going to be a way that

32:37

I can alleviate stress, right,

32:41

which normally it is. It creates

32:43

more stress for me because you think because I

32:45

think that I'm doing this and

32:48

this is what I should be or could

32:51

be doing, you know, and so I'm

32:53

always thinking about what I'm not doing

32:55

as opposed.

32:56

To you'll

32:58

be better at what you're doing if you take this forty

33:00

minutes, Corre. It's not how you're yeah, I

33:03

know.

33:03

It's not how. That's not how. You know

33:05

a lot of a lot of guys are wired

33:07

that.

33:08

Yeah, it really is. If you're missing out of Man, I got forty

33:10

extra minutes, I could be working on this game planner, watching

33:12

this tape, and now, Coaches,

33:14

if you're hearing this, take the forty minutes.

33:16

Take the forty minutes, trust workout.

33:21

The film will still be there when you get

33:23

done right right right, Man.

33:25

I appreciate you joining us, dude, I really do. I'm

33:27

proudy and I think you could help

33:29

a lot of people with us, because, like we said, as a

33:32

head coach, there's no guidebook for when the

33:34

players or somebody else has to go through something difficult.

33:36

Well, there's no God book for you guys when

33:39

something like this happens. So I'm glad

33:41

you could be a guide for a lot of brotherren

33:43

out there.

33:44

Man. Yeah, absolutely, because there's a lot of us

33:46

that go through it. Appreciate your brother absolutely.

33:48

Man Hey will continue no matter

33:51

what dnos. He has teammates that

33:53

are out there. You too too. Thanks for joining us on the

33:55

Unbreakable Mental Wealth Podcast.