0:02

This is Unbreakable

0:04

with Jay Glacier, a mental

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Wealth podcast build

0:09

you from the inside out. Now

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here's Jay Glacier.

0:14

Welcome into Unbreakable mental Wealth Podcast.

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With Jay Glazer.

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I'm Jay Glazer, and man, I

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got somebody from the world of wrestling

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here who is royalty, his family's

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royalty. It's been through it a lot, and

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I love to have dudes don who are who are

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bad ass tough guys who know how to be vulnerable

0:31

Because anybody questioned our man ud with that one to

0:34

bring in a long time, many

0:36

times champion several different

0:38

promotions.

0:39

Uh, the one and only Dustin Rhodes. How are you, brother?

0:42

I am great, buddy, Thank you for having me on.

0:44

Man, absolutely man, pleasure to have you on,

0:46

Dude.

0:46

I love having some of the old school guys on too,

0:48

because all of us, like in the old school, right, we

0:50

had a certain way of coming

0:53

across, like we got to be so fucking tough

0:55

and man, all this shit and

0:57

now everybody's kind of learning to be vulnerable and it's it's

0:59

turned and I think guys who are friends with and.

1:01

Are brothers, you know what I mean? Yes, yeah, we

1:04

never thought about this back in the day.

1:05

I always say this, you know, without the old

1:08

school, there's none of this new school stuff. But

1:10

you got to learn it somewhere and you go through it.

1:13

And the new kids today, you know, they're like, well

1:15

what do you mean. I'm like, brother, we

1:17

went through hell. I don't think provide

1:19

what we went through, you know, And it's just it

1:22

was a tough business. But now they're all playing video

1:24

games and stand Out of Truck.

1:26

Which is way better, no doubt. Yeah, yeah,

1:28

I mean there's look I think for us

1:30

too, like our like I don't.

1:32

I don't have a break about my success and I break about

1:34

my pain and my scars.

1:35

That's my equity.

1:37

No, And that pain that we all went through back

1:40

in the day. I think we got to go through pain. Whether

1:42

it's pain so you could be a great wrestler, I

1:44

could be a great fighter or football pronouncer

1:47

or coach or something like that. Or for pain that

1:49

we have to go through, well we could help others

1:51

get out of there emotionally, you know.

1:54

I think that's very important man.

1:55

And I see it a lot on X

1:58

people just reaching out saying you really have

2:01

helped me with your positive messages and things.

2:03

And I used to not be like that an

2:06

asshole on Twitter, you know, and it just I

2:09

just I said, you know, why am I doing this? It's

2:11

already as sessful. It's a great tool,

2:13

it's free, but it's it's it's

2:16

just bad. So I just know I'm putting

2:18

out positive messages and it's actually helping

2:21

a lot of people.

2:22

So you know what was

2:24

your turning point? Because I did the same thing three years ago.

2:26

I was I was coming out with a book called Unbreakable

2:28

How I turned my depression, anxiety

2:30

and the motivation and you can't too.

2:32

And I saw that that was in the

2:34

pages of the book could really help people.

2:36

And I was like, well, funk, I don't want to wait for the book then I help

2:39

people, because that's that's bullshit.

2:40

It's just me doing something, you know, for the money.

2:42

I'm not doing that. So I'm

2:44

going to start using social media,

2:47

start coming out with my ship now.

2:49

And I was petrified, right

2:51

because social media is like, yeah,

2:54

you don't need to have clinical depression, anxiety

2:56

and bipolar and ADHD like I do to

2:58

go through some shit because as you said, X is

3:00

assessed pool and you know, Instagram

3:02

and Facebook is highlighted like

3:05

filtered highlights.

3:06

Of your dates.

3:07

How fuck are we supposed to survive that? We all feel left

3:09

out? But I went on and I said, this is

3:11

really I took my mask off. I'm like,

3:13

this is what I really have. The lappy

3:16

joke, you guy you see on Ballers and

3:18

Fox Vil Sunday, and it's just a mask.

3:20

This is who I really am. And if you feel

3:22

the same.

3:22

Thing, I hope I can give it words and

3:24

leave comments down below. And if you got to see

3:26

comments for somebody else struggling, let's.

3:28

Lift them up.

3:29

And I tell teams this all the

3:31

time now too, because people are like, I can't open up.

3:34

Within two minutes, there's

3:36

a guy named Mercedes Lewis who's still

3:38

playing in the NFL.

3:39

He said his nineteenth year.

3:41

I started training Mercedes and mixed martial

3:43

arts seventeen years ago.

3:45

And within two minutes he

3:47

calls me and says, coach, I saw your

3:49

post.

3:50

I knew you were crazy and that's a badge

3:52

of honor in football fighting, but

3:55

I didn't know when you're in pain. I'm

3:57

sorry, Yeah, I

3:59

got And he has called me three times

4:01

a week every week just

4:04

to check up with me. What was your tipping

4:06

point to say I'm going to now, I

4:09

mean, I'm I'm going to do something

4:11

to just.

4:11

Jump in and start helping people with a message

4:13

on X.

4:14

I'm not sure what the tipping point was.

4:16

I just noticed that I was just pretty

4:18

uh negative or you know,

4:20

in between me promoting stuff

4:22

or whatever, and then it just you know, it's

4:25

like it's not doing any good because

4:27

everybody has some form of depression.

4:29

Everybody's got their downtimes

4:31

in life, right, everybody has problems. There's

4:33

not anybody that's uh that's perfect,

4:36

and we all have our issues. And I just

4:38

thought, you know, my dad used to say

4:40

when I came out of rehab, he would say

4:42

this. Every day we say are

4:44

you working your program? Are you you know? I

4:47

need you to keep stepping And he would call me every

4:49

day and say that. So that's like my motto. It's

4:51

more than just a motto. It's something he gave

4:53

me and it helped me kind of see. You know,

4:55

I'm going I went through this and survived

4:58

it, and you know, this is the

5:00

message he's given me to keep working my program

5:03

and stay clean and sober, and it's worked.

5:05

You have your little circle of people

5:07

at the AA for a couple of years solid,

5:11

and that kept me from you know, kind

5:13

of sliding back into the depths

5:15

of hell. I like call it. And

5:17

it just worked, you know.

5:18

And for rehab people,

5:21

they usually go in two or three times, right,

5:24

or four or five or six A lot of people

5:26

do. And it just worked for me. Of

5:28

course, that devil's right here on my shoulder, and all

5:30

as I have to do it turn around, grab his hand,

5:32

go for a walk, and I'm back to where

5:34

I was or dead, and

5:37

I don't want that. So I just I made this

5:39

decision to keep myself

5:42

clean, you know.

5:43

On this and I'm depressed.

5:44

I'm on antidepressants,

5:47

and I've been depressed my whole life, gone

5:49

through some childhood trauma, some abuse,

5:52

you know, things like that, and it just it does affect

5:54

you as you grow older. But all those

5:56

things have taught me very valuable lessons.

5:58

All the failures, the falling

6:01

down and getting back up, you know, they've taught

6:03

me valuable blessings of what not to do

6:05

and how to remain

6:09

on this straight and narrow path that I'm on right

6:11

now. And yeah, I fail every

6:13

day and I fall down and it sucks,

6:16

and I revert back to some negative

6:18

shit in my life, and you know, it's no good.

6:20

But I believe in God and I pray

6:22

daily. I just keep working my program.

6:25

And you know, if I pray to him and

6:27

give it to him every single day, it

6:29

usually helps my day. So

6:32

that is something that I really believe

6:35

in every single day, is to reach

6:37

out to him and talk to him and just try

6:40

to stay the course for

6:42

today. Because it's a daily thing.

6:44

It's a minute thing. For some people, it's

6:47

tough.

6:47

But I'm glad.

6:48

I'm on the other side with sixteen years clean

6:50

and sober, and that's amazing to me to say

6:52

that.

6:53

That's a long fucking time. But

6:55

you know, and I lost everything,

6:58

right, if I

7:00

can talk about that for just a second.

7:01

Absolutely.

7:03

You know, in the beginning, after the matches

7:05

and stuff like that, we drink beer, have fun, drink

7:08

beer. You know, it's good to have some cold beer or whatever.

7:10

And then that just turned into you know, there's

7:12

an injury and start taking painkillers

7:15

vicodin like you were talking about, and then

7:17

pretty soon, you know, my.

7:19

World is a mess. I've gained weight.

7:20

I don't think I have any problems, and

7:22

I'm sixty pills in a day on

7:25

a vodka a day, an eight ball every

7:27

three days of cocaine, and it was

7:29

just a mess. And I didn't give a shit

7:32

about anything, anybody, nothing.

7:34

I didn't give a shit about life. I tried to kill

7:36

myself twice, thank god

7:39

I did not. They were very

7:42

rough sad moments

7:44

and days. And I think what

7:46

did it to me is at divine intervention.

7:49

I went on a three day benz Man and

7:51

it was I ran out of pills.

7:54

I got drunk. I used to drink beer

7:56

every day. You know, I didn't have money for alcohol.

7:59

I lost everything. I lived in a room about as

8:01

big as this office. That's how

8:03

bad my life had gotten. And my

8:05

wife had been through a

8:08

few years with me of that stuff.

8:10

And she wasn't an alcoholic or a drug

8:12

addict.

8:13

But she also kept her distance with

8:15

saying you need to go get help, because

8:18

when people say that, it has

8:20

the opposite effect on the

8:22

attic. Oh no, I don't need help.

8:24

I'm going to take more right now because you said

8:26

that. And she didn't do that. She was there

8:28

and she witnessed a lot of it. And

8:31

I think after the third day of me just being

8:33

fucked up, I was drunk out of my mind,

8:35

I couldn't and I don't get drunk. I wouldn't

8:37

get drunk. I drink vodka all day long,

8:39

take pills, all that stuff. But

8:42

I was actually I couldn't walk, and

8:44

you know the old thing of well, can't walk, so

8:47

let me just drink a couple of drinks and try

8:49

to level out. It didn't work. It just kept

8:51

me like that in that state for three days.

8:54

And the third day, you know, after taking vicodins,

8:57

xanax, coke, alcohol.

8:59

Every thing, I woke up at two in

9:01

the morning.

9:02

And you know, my dad, he had purchased

9:04

me a prepaid cell phone,

9:06

so I had a phone to call him

9:08

or call make a call, but we

9:10

had no service where we lived. He

9:13

had to go out on top of the hill on the property

9:16

to get like one bar on the

9:18

phone. And at two in the morning, I just I

9:21

don't even know if I saw up that night, but I kind

9:23

of woke up and came to my sentence and

9:25

I looked at my wife and I said, you know what I'm

9:28

done.

9:28

I need help.

9:29

I'm scared, and it was very

9:32

close to probably dying,

9:35

you know. And I still get

9:37

emotional about telling my story,

9:39

which I'm not giving you the full story right now,

9:41

because I know this is a podcast. But she

9:44

helped me crawl out, and it was raining.

9:46

I remember two or three in the morning, we went

9:48

up on the hill. I called my dad. I

9:50

had one bar. And you know, my dad

9:52

has heard it a few

9:55

times before when I've called it, asked money,

9:57

you know, asked for money, you know, to pay a bill, when

9:59

really just pawning everything I.

10:01

Owned, just for drugs and alcohol.

10:03

And this was different. I started

10:06

crying. I said, I want to get help. And with

10:08

a WWE. They have the Great Wellness

10:11

Program. They have a really good wellness program

10:13

and they put you into rehab anybody that's worked

10:15

there. So got onto the phone to

10:17

the people in WWE and they got me into

10:20

rehab in two days. And they

10:22

were scared to death that I wasn't going to get

10:24

on the plane and go to rehabit

10:26

It was at West Palm and I lived in High Springs,

10:28

Florida, right outside of Gainesville, and

10:31

I had to go through Atlanta and then Atlanta back

10:33

to Fort Lauderdale instead of driving right, so

10:35

you know, I decided to.

10:36

Fly and I loaded up.

10:38

I loaded up the whole day before

10:41

and I was just like, I'm going to get help, going

10:43

to get help.

10:44

One last day of it.

10:45

Yeah, I did try to talk to my

10:47

wife and talk out of it, you know, but she kept

10:49

no, you go do this.

10:51

Let's let's get it done. You do it. So I finally

10:53

got on the plane shit faced.

10:54

It got to the Atlanta airport, had a little delay

10:57

or not a delay, a layover, drank

10:59

More landed in Fort

11:01

Lauderdale. I made the driver go to a seven

11:04

to eleven and pick up a twelve pack and I.

11:05

Just went man.

11:07

So I got in there and I woke up eight

11:09

days later. I had eight days of detox

11:12

and in the like. After two weeks, I

11:14

started seeing things for

11:16

the first time clear.

11:18

You know, you notice this weird stuff.

11:20

You notice butterflies, you know, flying

11:22

around or whatever, and you're like, oh, this is cool.

11:24

It was very different for me.

11:26

Right and after the thirty

11:28

day mark, I said, you need to stay another thirty

11:30

I said, no, I'm done.

11:31

I'm done.

11:32

I was scared, scared shitless to leave

11:34

the place, but I hated the place it

11:36

was. I never wanted to go back there, but

11:38

it did get me to where I needed to be to go

11:40

out and use the tools that were

11:43

available with the AA meetings

11:45

every single night. They want you to do ninety

11:47

and ninety's that's a big deal. Well, I

11:49

did two years straight. I maybe missed a

11:51

handful of days in those two years.

11:54

And I had to put that first before

11:56

my daughter, which was tough because

11:58

I was in my daughter's life for couple of years

12:00

and that shit broke me down more than

12:02

anything, and it still does talking about

12:05

it. You know, seeing her on a

12:07

visitation with somebody there, you

12:09

know that's looking over our shoulder, which

12:12

was really hard. But you

12:14

know, and my ex wife would call me, I need you

12:16

to pick up Dakota, and I'll be like, no, I can't.

12:18

I have an AA meeting. I have to do this, and

12:21

you have to understand that this comes first.

12:23

I had to So I did that and

12:25

I got through that two years and then it became

12:28

a little easier. And you know, I

12:30

haven't gone to an AA meeting in a long time,

12:33

but I have my little circle of people

12:35

that are there for me that, you know,

12:37

if I start to think about stuff

12:39

through there, don't do it. I had

12:41

a sponsor in AA meetings

12:44

and I was on a fight with him

12:46

one day. He was not sitting next to me, but he

12:48

was drunk, so I went I had to, you

12:50

know, get him out of my life. I had to

12:52

stay sponsor really

12:55

had like twenty seven years of clean

12:58

and sober so wow.

13:01

But he took me through the.

13:02

Twelve steps, and I did the twelve

13:04

steps and I work them. So at

13:06

that point I was like, you know what, I got

13:08

my wife, I got my daughter, I got

13:10

my father.

13:11

That they're my poor group of people I

13:13

can talk to, I can.

13:15

You know, my daughter is the number

13:18

one thing that keeps me going and sober

13:20

now and I cannot go back because

13:22

to see it did to her and her

13:25

mom right now is in a lot of trouble

13:27

with that stuff.

13:28

Through what happened to her too, So she's been

13:30

My daughter's like really strong and scone.

13:33

That's what it took for me to get to get

13:35

out of this.

13:36

Like I texted you earlier, I said, I

13:38

went down to hell, I kicked the devil and

13:41

the teeth survived and came out on

13:43

the other side. Now I just have to maintain

13:46

it. You know, I am depressed.

13:48

I do have depression and it hits and

13:50

sometimes it hits part. But I work through

13:53

it and I know that because I was taught this

13:55

in rehab and taught this in AA meetings,

13:57

that it is okay to have a day.

14:01

Okay, not the end of the fucking world. I'm

14:03

not looking to kill myself. This depression

14:05

medicine has helped me almost

14:08

to the point of where I'm kind of numb

14:10

to thing.

14:12

But I would rather be numb to things than

14:14

you know.

14:15

Dispeart and go out to

14:17

the local bar, because this time

14:19

I know it will kill me.

14:20

So I choose not to do it. And

14:22

I choose that every single day.

14:24

And I tell you I love then I appreciate

14:26

you, you telling this because that is your is your

14:28

equity.

14:29

Yeah, and you know, look, I

14:32

again, I'm clinical depression and anxiety

14:35

ADHD, bipolar everything.

14:37

I never know what I'm waking up with every day. It

14:39

is a It's hard for me to get out of bed every day

14:42

it was.

14:43

And I would say, I'm a dude who's fucked up, who's

14:45

learned how to be good with his fucked upness.

14:47

Right.

14:48

Yeah.

14:48

So earlier this year, I gave a talk

14:50

to an NFL team and a player

14:52

raises his hand.

14:53

I tell all my ship and what I've done now.

14:55

Also, man, as I I

14:57

have really done a lot of work of

15:01

realizing where these issues

15:03

have helped me.

15:05

So I weaponize them now.

15:07

Like my anxiety, I fucking suck

15:10

and calm, but motherfucker, I'm

15:12

breating chaos, which will me is great

15:14

cauld. I live half my life in a cage and the other

15:16

on TV, and it allows me also,

15:18

like I'll cause chaos and business meetings

15:21

because most people can't deal with it. So I became

15:23

my superpower. So if I weaponize them,

15:25

I'm not ashamed by it anymore. So

15:27

where are these things? So I start telling this and

15:29

this player says, raise his

15:31

hand for a fucking one hundred and fifty cats in

15:33

there, says, please tell me there's light at the

15:35

end of the tunnel.

15:37

I said, what do you mean? And he's and I won't

15:39

repeat what he said, but he's he's.

15:41

Gone through it big time, and

15:43

he opens up to his team about what's going

15:46

on, says.

15:47

Please tell me this light at the end of the tunnel.

15:49

I said, Well, here's where I can tell you.

15:51

You may have saved someone's life in here today

15:54

by opening up about your shit. Right

15:56

same for you, Dustin, just to hear it

15:58

is you may save someone like to by hearing this. Yeah,

16:01

that's the light at the end of the tunnel. But I'm

16:04

fifty four now. I didn't open up until

16:06

I was fifty one. Since

16:09

I've opened up, I

16:11

like, I used to live every fucking day in

16:13

the gray, and I was a fucking

16:16

terror out. I was a savage and I

16:18

would have rather taken Vike and I had

16:20

a roll and shit like that. Said to go out and get in trouble,

16:23

yeah, and get canceled. Then tell anybody

16:25

I was fucked up. And you

16:28

know, I said, Now, because I've opened up,

16:31

I've learned all these things. Now, I've learned

16:34

how to you know, breath work and meditation

16:36

and all these different things. And I've given myself

16:39

routines now, whether it's coal pluts, I make sure

16:41

I have certain work, you know. And I've gotten

16:43

older and fifty four, I don't have the same fight

16:45

team I used to.

16:46

Like, I was in my fight gim for

16:48

fucking six hours today.

16:49

It was awesome.

16:50

So we did. I was fine.

16:51

I was at the Island of misfit toys, right, So were you

16:54

right? The ww you're

16:56

wrestling, We're the island of misfit toys.

16:58

We're good together. But I

17:01

said, man, I'm fifty four.

17:03

Now and for the first time, I'm now

17:05

married to someone who I feel

17:07

like I deserve her

17:09

love, which I never felt it. I'm

17:12

not sabotaging it because when you feel

17:14

like you don't, you know, depression makes you feel like you're

17:16

not worthy of it.

17:17

You ruin it, and.

17:19

You speed up the process because waiting

17:21

for it to end is more painful

17:23

to it ending, like living in

17:25

a question of when the fuck is this.

17:27

Lady gonna leave?

17:28

Yeah?

17:29

Right, so we say so, I fuck it up on purpose

17:31

and push everybody away. And now,

17:33

Saibro, I'm fifty four. I never knew

17:35

I could feel this kind of joy. Yes, right,

17:38

So for guys like you and I who you know again

17:40

like and I always tell guys I've trained one thousand

17:43

football players and fighters and said, hey, in a

17:45

cage or on I feel, motherfucker, You'll

17:47

never ever ever.

17:48

Know if I'm hurt or tired.

17:49

Fuck you, You'll never know. I'll be relentless.

17:52

I break an arm, you fucking break my back. It doesn't

17:54

matter. But that's the same way

17:56

we acted outside that ring or cage

17:59

or feel that gets us to end

18:02

up in rehabbit gets us to want to fucking

18:04

put a revolver in our mouth, or gets it. You know, it gets

18:06

us to be so in the

18:08

tact. But now they're able to separate

18:10

it and go the other way and be vulnerable with

18:12

each other.

18:13

You know, you and I never met before, and look how

18:15

we're.

18:16

Talking like this is never gould have happened ten years

18:18

ago, you know, and you start bonding with I

18:20

said, that's your equity, bro, And I said, for

18:22

you to be able to use your story to

18:24

help other people, that's the light

18:26

at the end of the tunnel. But because we're opening up now,

18:29

Dustin, Like, dude, I never knew I

18:31

was capable of feeling

18:33

this kind of joy and sustaining it without

18:37

b Yeah right,

18:39

you know, without an ecstasy, without something that was gonna

18:42

help me.

18:42

And it's fucking beautiful. And if I had to wait fifty

18:44

four years for it, man, it's worth it.

18:47

So yeah, like when I

18:49

finally got the courage to go wrestle

18:51

again, I was scared that I

18:53

could born without some substance,

18:56

and I found out that I was just fine,

18:58

and I was as hell and

19:00

nothing was that bad, right,

19:03

And you said, something good about you know, our

19:05

vulnerability, man, is a powerful

19:08

thing. And I've never had problems

19:11

with telling people what's going

19:13

on with me, right, I mean, I'm

19:15

an open book as far as excess

19:18

concern everybody my struggles

19:20

and they can't hold anything over

19:22

my head.

19:22

They don't have an power over me anymore.

19:25

Right.

19:25

I do share a lot, and maybe too

19:27

much sometimes, but it has helped. It

19:30

helps keep me grounded

19:33

in control by sharing those

19:35

that stuff. And there is one or two people that

19:37

always say something, you

19:39

know that, Wow, this is really powerful, and

19:41

they'll share it or they'll message me on the

19:44

X or whatever, and it's just it's.

19:47

It's pretty powerful.

19:48

Yeah.

19:48

So I couldn't see myself

19:51

keeping that in for that long. And a lot of people

19:53

do that. They don't want you to know that

19:55

they've been to rehab. They don't want you that

19:58

they've had these problems.

19:59

And I'm why, right, And

20:02

you.

20:02

Can help somebody. And you know, people are different.

20:04

They bottle stuff in and they hold

20:06

things in and just me, I, you

20:09

know, this is my new life. I got

20:11

a rebirth here.

20:12

So it's like I'm sharing the shit out of it.

20:14

Right.

20:15

Whether they like it or not, I don't care.

20:17

You're gonna end up helping people go with this being

20:19

the service.

20:20

Yeah, you know.

20:21

I also talk about needing the team, and you talk about

20:23

God earlier. So again, my whole life,

20:25

I was just lonely and by myself. I

20:27

just started talking to God and not asking

20:29

God, Hey can you get this job or make

20:31

me rich?

20:32

But who do you want a best friend in parent? You just want that person

20:34

to listen, just be there.

20:36

So I alwauld say God, like you're my

20:38

team. I talk about having a team, and like people don't

20:40

have faith. That's on you, but my judge

20:43

you, but don't do to me. It doesn't hurt

20:45

me to have faith that I'm never alone. And

20:47

I would say God, I'm gonna go after this as hard

20:49

as I can. Well I want is when I fail,

20:51

because I'm gonna fail, pick me up, brush me

20:53

off, and let's keep walking this walk together.

20:55

And that's got me where I am.

20:56

And every morning I wake up and I tell

20:58

God a loving prayer because it's better

21:01

for me to wake up and say I love

21:03

you to something then wake

21:05

up in that filth of the great And

21:07

I do it at I too, and I do it a few times during

21:09

the day and I have someone to love and

21:12

now I have somebody else in my wife, which it helps.

21:15

Yeah.

21:15

Absolutely, So growing up

21:17

in a wrestling family, Yeah,

21:20

how fucking different was that?

21:22

It was well when you're when I was little,

21:25

it was great, right, But then as you get a

21:27

little bit older, it's you

21:29

know, we go places or whatever, and Dad's

21:31

never left alone, you know, and he was

21:34

kind of brutal to fans when we're eating dinner

21:36

and stuff like that.

21:38

Uh, And it was I saw just

21:40

what a hard life it was.

21:41

And you know, my dad didn't want me to break

21:43

into the wrestling business. I was very good in

21:45

football and I had some scholarship offers,

21:48

but my grades were ship all

21:50

up until I graduated.

21:52

You know, we had coaches coming and he would put on

21:54

a.

21:54

Big meal for him and things, and it

21:57

was just And I did have a

22:00

hard to play football, but I wanted

22:02

to be a wrestler more and he didn't want me to

22:04

be.

22:05

And I think because he divorced

22:07

my.

22:07

Mom at such an early age of five

22:09

or six years old, I can't remember that

22:11

it was a hard life for him and

22:13

he didn't want that for me.

22:15

He wanted something better.

22:18

So me and my daughter, my sister

22:21

Kristen were kind of neglected in

22:23

a way, you know. And I love my

22:25

father. I loved him to death. We

22:28

did have a falling out, you

22:31

know, but that was we got back

22:33

together, but you know, many years before he

22:35

passed. But it's it was

22:37

hard, you know, and his current

22:40

wife or his you know, my stepmother,

22:42

and his two kids, Cody Eel,

22:46

they got everything, they got

22:48

all of him, you know. And you know,

22:50

we're sixteen years difference in

22:53

age, Cody is and me, and

22:56

it was it was It's tough, but

22:58

it is what it is. I look at it at

23:00

you know, the times were different and things

23:02

happened for a reason.

23:03

I don't look bad appoint it.

23:05

I don't look at it like, well, why hasn't he given

23:07

me the love that he's given Cody Ortil.

23:10

He's my dad. I loved him, and

23:12

you know he.

23:13

Was when we did when I

23:15

did start the business, I was around him constantly.

23:17

So it was good to be close

23:19

to him.

23:20

But then I went into that that downward

23:23

spiral where I just didn't give a shit for

23:25

years, man, and it nearly

23:27

killed me, you know, And it was it was

23:29

a tough time. But growing up being

23:32

in his shadow was tough, and especially when

23:34

I did break into the business. A lot of people think

23:37

Audustin had the easy, easy road

23:39

to get into business. It's actually one

23:41

hundred percent opposite. He made

23:43

me work for everything. He sent me to Florida

23:45

to his mentor. His mentor

23:47

was Eddie Graham, who passed shot

23:50

himself and his son, Mike

23:52

Graham, where he made his name

23:54

in Florida. Dad did so he sent me down

23:56

to Mike Graham and Steve Kerrn to learn professional

23:58

wrestling. He sent, he said, me with two

24:01

thousand dollars. I lived with my aunt and

24:03

made twenty dollars a night for two years, and

24:05

I loved it. It was my favorite time in

24:07

the business when I first started working

24:09

every night, learning how to do things, living

24:12

my dream, get into trouble,

24:15

you know, doing stupid shit that

24:17

I shouldn't do, but loving the wrestling industry

24:19

and having a passion for it because it was in my blood

24:22

and soul.

24:22

Man and he finally brought me up after

24:25

a.

24:25

Couple of years to the NWA before they turned

24:27

over to WCW. And I

24:29

don't know if you've heard of Kendall Wyndham.

24:31

It was Burry Windham brother, and

24:33

he put us together for the first time on

24:36

you know TBS on TV, A young

24:38

dustin twenty years old or whatever. But

24:41

he made me work for it. He

24:43

didn't push me in skyrocket me to

24:45

the moon. Right there, I was just having fun

24:47

listening to the vets because back then it was

24:49

different.

24:50

They all could work right.

24:52

And I'm the greenhorn coming in and I just

24:54

shut up and listened, and that's what I was told to

24:56

do, and they guided me to where I am

24:59

right that. That was for many

25:01

years that I did that. I just listened and

25:04

they guided me. But he could have made

25:06

me world champion.

25:08

He did not.

25:10

I was on my way to become world champion,

25:13

but it took a long time to get there and

25:15

was very.

25:16

Hard being in his shadow.

25:18

A lot of people think I'm going to follow in my dad's

25:21

footsteps and I'm going to.

25:22

Fill his shoes. It's possible. Now

25:25

you can't. I cannot.

25:27

Yeah, you gotta wear your own shoes.

25:28

I had different. I had this. I needed

25:30

to be a little different, but I didn't know that

25:32

until I went to WWV for the.

25:34

First time and Vince McMahon

25:38

created this gold Dust character.

25:41

That's when I, you know, It was scary

25:43

because it's something I'd never done before. I'm

25:45

just a redneck from Texas, right, and

25:48

I played this cowboy character and a good

25:50

guy, and he gave me this character that's a bad

25:52

guy and a.

25:53

Very over the top agynous

25:57

character.

25:58

Right.

25:58

So I didn't know what I was going to do and took

26:00

a while to figure it out.

26:02

But once I did and I stepped outside

26:04

of my comfort zone, that's when the magic started

26:07

happening. And I stepped into

26:09

my own shoes and did something on

26:11

my own as justin Rohase, but as

26:13

this flamboyant character gold

26:15

Dust. So I knew then.

26:17

I was like, you know what, I just found

26:20

my own shoes. Never be my father,

26:22

even close to him, but I can do

26:24

this. But it was tough being the

26:26

son of Dusty Roads, who you

26:28

know, the rock.

26:29

Wrote I called my

26:31

niece wrote the foward

26:33

to my books.

26:34

I've heard a bunch of stories from obviously growing

26:36

up the business and his uncles and all that.

26:38

Who is your favorite uncle growing up?

26:42

My favorite uncle?

26:43

Yeah, as far as the other wrestlers of your dad was.

26:45

With Dig Murdock. Dick

26:47

Murdoch was his partner years ago.

26:50

They became the Texas Outlaws, who

26:52

I now have trademarked

26:54

and put it on my nephews. There

26:57

are two kids that are nineteen

26:59

and eighteen now they're going to the University

27:01

of Texas to Texas Outlaws

27:04

now. But Uncle Dicky Man, he and

27:06

he's not my uncle, but he was around me,

27:09

you know, my whole life. And it was he

27:11

really kind of taught me, you know, and he would get on

27:13

to me if you know. Like, there was this this

27:15

bar in Chicago we used to frequent

27:18

and it was it was a bottle

27:20

bar. It was after hours bar, right, and

27:22

we went there just to drink have fun. But I went

27:24

in this little room with some of the wrestlers where

27:27

they do some other stuff. And I didn't do

27:29

this then, but I came out of there

27:31

and he grabbed me by the lapel and threw me

27:33

in the car and said, don't you ever fucking go in

27:35

that room again. You know, you stay that

27:37

ship, which was a bunch of cocaine

27:39

right right right, which I didn't do because

27:42

I was I was young and I wasn't there yet

27:44

to do that kind of stuff.

27:45

I was just drinking beer.

27:47

But you know, it really and my

27:49

dad always preached don't do drugs, don't

27:51

do drugs, and it just had the opposite

27:53

effect on me, you know, and I just

27:56

I chose to go down the dark path. And

27:58

I think that there there's millions

28:00

of people that do that. You know, there's

28:02

not there's clean cut family

28:04

out there.

28:05

Everybody has their fucking issues,

28:07

man.

28:08

Everybody has their problems with you

28:10

know, a lot of people have their problems.

28:12

With alcohol and drugs.

28:13

So no, I'm not the only one, and there's

28:15

millions of people that go through this, and

28:19

you know, it's I know, I kind of.

28:20

Get off the track there, but it was like I

28:23

really.

28:23

Tried at the beginning, you know, I just drank

28:25

the beer, had fun with my wrestling,

28:27

learned and all that stuff. But Uncle

28:30

Dicky, he was he was about

28:32

as close to me as anybody ever

28:34

was in the business and my best friend for

28:36

a long long time because I kind of grew

28:39

up with him in the black Jack Mulligan all those

28:41

old timers and you know, Barry, me

28:43

and him, we were around each other all

28:45

the day, every day, you know, I would I would ride

28:48

with him and we just drank beer.

28:49

You know. So it was all

28:51

good until it just wasn't what.

28:53

Was your best moment from

28:56

all those thoughts, best experience, best

28:58

woman?

28:59

You know, I think my legacy is when I got

29:01

clean and sober. I think that that

29:04

encompasses my whole legacy.

29:07

But as far as having the

29:09

funnest time, I'm having with

29:11

aw because

29:13

I feel this company.

29:15

He loves wrestling, Tony Khan loves wrestling.

29:18

He's a but I know Tony, trust me, he's a bet.

29:20

It's one hundred and ten percent different

29:23

than the events mcmon days. This

29:25

was pretty brutal, and you were walking on eggshells

29:28

all the time, worried about your job with Tony.

29:31

He loves me, he is a huge

29:33

fan of my wrestling. He's treating

29:35

me very very good here for the last

29:38

five years.

29:38

And my contract is up actually today

29:41

and hoping that you know, I can renew

29:43

the contract or where it goes

29:46

right now. And last year I was worried like crazy

29:48

for a solid year. Oh God, what's

29:50

going to happen in my contract? So worried

29:53

about what epps right, And it's like this

29:55

time, not one fucking day have I

29:57

worried about either re.

29:59

Signing or not.

30:00

It's like it is what it is, so I'm

30:02

hoping, you know, that I get to remain

30:05

or a door opens or an avenue

30:07

opens or whatever.

30:08

But I'm fifty five, so it's

30:10

but.

30:11

I'm doing the best works the

30:13

last couple of years. I'm doing the

30:15

best work I've done in my career. I look

30:17

better than I looked when I started.

30:20

I'm in shape for a fifty five year old

30:22

man. And I don't know what it is, but

30:24

it's like when I got out of rehab, I started

30:26

going to the gym, and I never went to the gym. Go

30:29

to the gym enough, right, and I go

30:31

every single day. Now it's like not

30:33

every day, but close to it, and I'm

30:36

in there.

30:36

And that's kind of my other addiction.

30:38

By you said you don't know what it is, it's

30:40

your lighter yees here,

30:42

Like we're cap We carried all this heavy

30:45

shit and now that we've

30:47

opened up, start talking and

30:50

helping, everything's just lighter.

30:53

A thirty second NFL training camp.

30:55

Every camp, I do the same thing. I get my own set fucking

30:57

roof. I got, I get a glazed roof.

30:59

I come in. I'm gonna fucking huddle with these guys.

31:01

I work out with every team. I get IV's with

31:03

them. We go out, man, I eat

31:05

with them. The coaches will cancel meetings

31:08

because I'm there so we can go hang out and shit

31:10

like that. But this year, because I just got

31:12

married in May and I'm

31:14

just happy for the first time in my

31:16

life.

31:17

Yeah, I was like I've done. I did the

31:19

same exact thing this camp that.

31:21

I did last year, year before, year before, but it

31:23

just felt different. And it's just like

31:26

I just feel light and airy

31:28

and like if I have some other shit, like, we're still

31:30

gonna have problems, dude, it's Life's about it.

31:32

How the fuck we handle them?

31:34

Man, it's just like shit, just

31:36

we're able to handle it better instead of sinking all the way

31:38

down. And if I do sink all the way down,

31:41

I used to I have a supports system now I know to call

31:44

like immediately and just unload

31:46

and bam and pick myself up.

31:48

And it's not just my wife, but I think

31:50

that's what it is like to I just feel lighter,

31:53

and then everybody else could feel it too, you know what I mean.

31:56

More manageable. Yeah, if

31:58

you're until it doesn't.

32:00

But then we, like you said, a little support

32:02

group and we can get a mess pretty pretty

32:04

quickly.

32:05

Yeah.

32:05

Absolutely, And when I'm when I'm fucked

32:07

up, I'll call I'll call

32:09

two to four people and tell them I'm really

32:12

fucking struggling. And then I'll call like two

32:14

to four people and not tell them and just check

32:16

up on them, because like, man,

32:18

it may not happen one hundred percent

32:20

of the time. Ninety percent of the time they'll be like, oh, I'm good, I'm

32:22

good. But ten percent of the time someone call

32:25

go, oh, man Clays, I'm so glad you called.

32:26

Man, I'm in a bad way right now.

32:28

And then I help them and so lad by

32:31

being of service, I don't remember that I'm

32:33

I'm going to grat.

32:35

Usually when people say I'm good or okay, that

32:37

means the opposite. Yeah, I know sometimes

32:39

right, I had a lot too, and it's

32:42

uh, you know, I don't want to bother anybody

32:44

that don't want it, but you know, there's

32:47

there's I'm a pretty good mentor

32:49

at work, and people have problems

32:51

all the time and I talk to them and I

32:53

think I help them. So I mean I'm

32:55

doing my part as as far as helping

32:58

myself while helping others, you know, passing

33:00

on whatever knowledge I have It's tough,

33:03

man, It's tough what we've been through. And

33:05

I've been through fourteen surgeries and

33:07

it's I can't believe I'm still walking

33:10

right to knee replacements. But you

33:12

know, I'll go get a cortizone shot or two

33:15

and I feel good, and you know, I

33:17

just know the inevitable is almost.

33:19

Here, and that's going to be a hard thing to deal with.

33:22

You know.

33:22

I think I may have two or three years left

33:24

that I can go full steam and

33:26

then.

33:27

What it's like, that's that's

33:29

something that I'm going to have.

33:30

To really really work on

33:33

to try to keep vanity and keep

33:35

wearing any.

33:35

New routines, new rhythms, new supports.

33:38

Yeah. Absolutely really. Hey, by

33:40

the way, well you should think about what I did. I went

33:42

down to Panama. I got stem cell.

33:44

Yeah I was.

33:45

I was a week away from a three level

33:47

fusion. Now I don't need it.

33:50

And so the thing about stem cells,

33:52

man, they go away

33:54

just like anything else, right, But

33:57

the one you're talking about in Median.

34:00

Yeah, well not.

34:00

I go to play some Panama coled origins, but

34:02

they're using yeah, so I'm not They're

34:04

not using my own fucked up stems.

34:06

Also using americal cord, which

34:09

man, it's it's a game changer,

34:11

dude.

34:12

Really game changer.

34:13

Like Ray Mysterio, he's he's religious

34:16

about it. You talked about it about going down

34:18

to uh Colombia. Yeah,

34:21

and going to a place and a lot of the guys go

34:23

to it there for about a week and just

34:26

do all kinds of millions of themselves.

34:30

In their body. It's changed my life really.

34:32

Yeah. Man. I had Max.

34:34

Crosby and Derwin James to

34:36

my bice attendant super

34:39

spinas and rotator cuff first

34:41

fifteen minutes and train these fools for a month

34:43

and again.

34:44

My thing is if you're hurt and tired and that that

34:46

ran, you don't show it. Don't show it. Don't show it. They

34:49

fucked me up and I had to get it.

34:50

I have to get my bicep tend to reattached

34:53

anchored back while I was getting married,

34:55

so I couldn't do it then, And then when

34:57

I wanted to go do it with

35:00

something from Fox, I couldn't do it.

35:01

Then.

35:01

Then I training camp, so I said, you know what, fuck it, I'll

35:03

just go down and get stem cells. I don't think it's gonna be able to

35:05

help, and I went with Mark Kerr, who

35:07

the Smashing Machine, who the Rock is making

35:09

a movie on right now from Amma Champ.

35:13

We both went down and.

35:15

I just figured, Okay, maybe it will help me some pain.

35:17

I was supposed to have a surgery next week. Cancel

35:20

the surgery. I don't need it.

35:22

I'm good.

35:22

And it says I sent a combat bet down

35:25

since I've known him cannot dress

35:28

himself.

35:29

And he went down there and it regrew

35:31

the nerve in.

35:32

His ankle and helped his multiple

35:34

sclerosis help with that, and he did

35:36

a tough Mutter race in February.

35:38

Holy fu for a guy who could not put.

35:40

His own pants on. So I'll offline.

35:42

I'll give you the information.

35:43

Man, you're selling me on it.

35:45

So it's a game changer.

35:48

I listened before I let you go. Brother, I asked all

35:50

my guests this, and you may have answered the question already.

35:52

Give me your unbreakable moment, that moment that should

35:54

have broken you and didn't. As a result,

35:57

you came through the other side of that tunnel stronger forever.

36:00

I think I already kind of talked to him.

36:01

I think you did.

36:02

But yeah, the unbreakable

36:04

moment was, you know, so what

36:07

I was up to for about two years straight,

36:09

and you know it started years before

36:11

that. What I was up to was a half a

36:13

gallon of vodka day, about

36:16

seventy pills a day, mixed with the lower

36:19

tabs of Vikingins and xenax, and

36:22

a half of an eight ball every

36:24

two to three days. And I

36:27

don't know where I got the money from, because I fucking

36:29

pond everything off right. But

36:32

for some reason, I think

36:35

I started drinking beer and I hadn't drinking

36:37

beer in a while, and it was just plain

36:40

liquor and mountain dew vodka and mountain.

36:42

Dew all day.

36:43

And when you haven't drinking beer in a while, it'll

36:45

get you fucked up, cooker, I

36:48

think that's what did it, you know.

36:49

And then trying to come.

36:51

Out of it with pills because vicodins

36:53

had the reverse reaction on

36:56

me.

36:56

They made me go up, not down.

36:58

Yeah, me too.

36:59

A lot of people that make it go down, right, Take

37:02

two or three of them in the morning.

37:04

Man.

37:04

To get up out of the happiest ship, yep,

37:06

yes, and I

37:08

get happiest ship, and then to come

37:10

down.

37:11

I get violent as fuck. It's

37:13

not good.

37:13

Well I did with with brown alcohol

37:16

with it pretty

37:18

fucking mean and start fights

37:20

and ship like that, and that is no good. I just kind

37:22

of didn't want that. I wanted a

37:24

good drunk, the happy

37:26

drunk, right. So the vikings and the vodka

37:29

really helped. And then the Xanax in night time.

37:32

I would take a ship tone of them, which is just fucking

37:34

dangerous. Xanax

37:36

was the hard hardest thing to come off of.

37:39

Deadly.

37:40

You're taking xanax, buddy, that's

37:42

like it's a recipe for death.

37:45

It's it's heavy. But I

37:47

mean, not everybody has addicted personalities.

37:49

Some people can't social drink and

37:52

drug and be okay and not pick it

37:54

up again for two months or whatever.

37:57

Not me, I have one. I need twenty,

37:59

you know today.

38:00

Maybe I could go back and say, hey, I

38:02

want to have a beer today, But then the second

38:04

day is going to turn into ten, you know, and

38:07

so forth right with the pills and everything

38:09

else, and I'd be looking for drug dealers. I had doctors

38:12

everywhere, I had drug viewers everywhere, and.

38:14

It was just a mess.

38:15

But I think those three days of me not

38:17

being able to function and

38:20

my heart just doing

38:22

all kinds of weird things really scared

38:24

the shit out of me.

38:25

And you know, I really do believe.

38:27

That God, you know, at that waking

38:30

hour, the witching hour of two or three o'clock

38:33

in the morning, said you have had

38:35

enough. You got to stop now.

38:38

And I had what

38:40

bearings I had left in my head to

38:42

get out there on the hill and make a phone

38:45

call and say I'm done,

38:48

I've had enough, I want help,

38:51

And they got me in there. And I'm sure

38:53

I believe my parents a lot, and

38:55

you know, everybody kind

38:57

of took a deep breath when

38:59

I came out and make me making

39:01

sure I was on my right path

39:04

with the keep stepping thing. And

39:06

I've talked to you know, a lot of people

39:08

over the over the sixteen years about

39:11

it, and I think that is the unbreakable

39:13

you know that what say, the unbreakable.

39:16

Unbreakable moment.

39:18

And now you know, and I was very scared to talk

39:20

in front of people. Now

39:23

I'm like, because I have a school, I put

39:25

on these long speeches and I want to do

39:27

a tour. Now, I want to do a tour around

39:29

the US, a speaking

39:31

tour about recovery and addiction

39:34

and things and telling my story. And it's

39:36

in the works, so it's got logistics

39:39

down and start doing it. Alex Marvez

39:42

is helping me write my book, so

39:46

get that going and we'll see how it goes.

39:47

Buddy.

39:48

Alex helped me a lot early on, man, when the other reporters

39:50

just hated my guts and killed me. He was the one

39:53

and the first guy in the media to

39:55

befriend me, saying, no, you're doing the right way

39:57

start relationships.

39:58

We're just not able to but you, you're man.

40:01

He helped me a lot, And I want to say this too.

40:03

I want people to understand this, and

40:06

you could quickly just back this up for everybody

40:08

who goes through shit and they end up going to reapp

40:11

like you hit rock bottom.

40:12

Which you need to do to go to rehab and have it

40:14

completed.

40:15

All people want for you

40:18

to see you succeed and

40:20

be the best. People don't hold it against

40:22

you what has happened. People

40:25

don't say, oh fuck this guy. Everybody

40:27

I know who has gone through shit, we come

40:29

to the other side. Hey, man, I went through reapp. We all

40:31

just we're happy for you. Yeah,

40:34

right, And I think a lot of people go, oh my god, I'm

40:36

so embarrassed.

40:36

I can't believe people are gonna be so mad at me. We're

40:39

not. We just want to see the best

40:41

for you.

40:41

Anybody out there who's listened to this, take

40:44

it from the two of us.

40:45

Man, if you're close, this is rock

40:47

bottom. Go get help and you'll.

40:49

Be amazed by the outpouring

40:51

of support and love that you get on the other side.

40:54

I truly believe this. If

40:56

you are as deep as like you and I were,

41:00

impossible to do

41:02

it yourself. It's really

41:04

hard. I really do believe that. Like, when

41:06

you are so deep, you can't

41:09

just quit because it's dangerous. You

41:11

can't do it on your own. You always make excuses

41:14

and I did, you know, and I tried, but

41:17

I was like, uh uh, you know, I don't

41:19

have a problem. I'm in control of this.

41:21

And believe me, you do have a problem.

41:24

There is help out there, and all as it

41:26

is is a phone call away, and you're worried about money

41:28

or whatever.

41:28

This is your life.

41:30

You know.

41:31

Rehab can save your life, but

41:34

you got to want it. You have to

41:36

recognize that you actually have

41:39

a problem and you need it. I don't

41:41

think forcing rehab on anybody

41:43

is good. I don't think works.

41:46

I think they go back many times.

41:48

You know, until you actually want it, until

41:50

you actually open your fucking eyes if you can

41:53

and say I've had enough, like.

41:54

I did, thankfully.

41:56

It's a tough thing to get out of and you cannot

41:58

do it alone and there's help out there, and

42:00

uh, you know, I just wish the best for people

42:02

and hope that they can get better.

42:04

In their own lives.

42:06

Brother, I'm proud of you, man, I'm thank

42:08

you that you were on the same team.

42:09

Dude, I really appreciate you.

42:11

Man, absolutely sure.

42:12

Custin Roads, you were a fucking stud.

42:14

Thank you, Thank you, brother, Thank you.

42:16

Mustin Roads here on the Unbreakable Podcast