0:00

You know how it kind of feels

0:02

like everything is going wrong with the

0:04

world at once right now? Staying on

0:06

top of the news is so

0:08

stressful, but ignoring it doesn't seem

0:10

like an option either. It's exhausting

0:13

and demoralizing. But I got you.

0:15

This episode is going to

0:17

help you solve this conundrum

0:19

and figure out how to

0:22

stay informed and realistic without

0:24

just bottoming out in despair.

0:26

Welcome to Un-Fuck Your Brain. I'm

0:28

your host, Kara Lowenthal, Master Certified

0:30

Coach, and founder of the School

0:32

of New Feminist Thought. I'm here

0:34

to help you turn down your

0:36

anxiety, turn up your confidence,

0:39

and create a life on your

0:41

own terms, one that you're truly

0:43

excited to live. Let's go. Welcome

0:47

back to our greatest hits series,

0:50

where I occasionally like to reintroduce

0:52

you to one of the greatest

0:54

hits of the podcast. Truth is,

0:56

after doing this for so many

0:58

years and having hundreds and hundreds

1:00

of episodes, there are a lot

1:02

of great episodes that newer listeners

1:05

haven't heard at all, or that

1:07

long-time listeners could stand to go

1:09

back and revisit. Each of these

1:11

podcasts are some of my favorite,

1:13

most impactful, most insightful podcast, and

1:15

they are definitely ones that keep

1:18

giving you new things to learn

1:20

and think about, the more often

1:22

you listen to them. So even

1:24

if you've heard this episode before,

1:26

I really encourage you to listen

1:28

again. You will pick up new

1:30

things, your brain will synthesize

1:32

it differently. And if you

1:34

haven't heard this episode yet, then

1:36

you are in for a treat.

1:39

quote-unquote self-help, which really remember

1:41

is practical philosophy, when the

1:43

world is burning, TM. I live in

1:45

this world with the rest of you,

1:47

and it can be very overwhelming. There's

1:50

war, there's the murder of

1:52

innocent civilians, there's global warming,

1:54

the oceans are getting hotter,

1:56

we have an election coming

1:59

up between. centrist liberal

2:01

and a literal authoritarian,

2:03

it can feel just overwhelming

2:05

and scary and destabilizing to

2:08

even be minimally aware of what

2:10

is going on. And when we try

2:12

to stabilize ourselves psychologically, our brains

2:15

resist that effort for two reasons.

2:17

So we have to understand those

2:19

reasons and how to combat them

2:21

in order to be able to

2:23

use thought work and use managing

2:26

our minds to show up better

2:28

for this world. and for ourselves.

2:30

So first, our brains have evolved

2:32

to scan for physical danger. This

2:35

is the biggest reason that our

2:37

brain resists calming down, essentially. The

2:39

part of your brain that scans

2:42

for danger is the oldest most

2:44

primitive part. It does not really

2:46

distinguish between things that are truly

2:49

physically dangerous or things that just

2:51

set off an emotional fear reaction,

2:53

even if they are not actually

2:56

threats to us. And it doesn't do

2:58

a great job of distinguishing between

3:00

a fire next door and a

3:02

fire in another state, especially when

3:04

it comes to visual images. Certainly

3:06

the intensity is lower. If you

3:08

saw the house next door on

3:10

fire, you'd run out of your house. You

3:13

don't do that when you see it

3:15

on the screen. But it is still

3:17

triggering that alarm response in your brain.

3:19

Your brain did not evolve during

3:21

millennia of access to live video

3:23

feeds across the world. Your brain

3:25

evolved when you couldn't see anything

3:28

that wasn't in front of your face,

3:30

unless it was in a cave drawing or maybe

3:32

a painting in a church or a temple

3:34

of some kind. That was pretty much

3:36

all the visual stimuli your brain

3:38

was getting until about a hundred

3:40

years ago. So our brains have not

3:43

adapted or evolved to deal with this.

3:45

According to the primitive part of

3:47

your brain, anything bad happening in

3:49

the world now or that could

3:51

happen that it thinks is bad.

3:53

is dangerous, and so your brain

3:55

wants to obsess about it at

3:57

all times until it gets to

3:59

safety. Global warming. Check. Slide

4:01

into authoritarianism in the

4:04

US. Check. War across the globe, famine,

4:06

genocide, pandemics. Check, check, check.

4:08

So your brain is thinking

4:10

about these things a lot,

4:13

and it's releasing stress hormones

4:15

in response. But those stress

4:17

hormones are not doing anything

4:19

helpful. These hormones are designed to

4:21

help you run away from a predator

4:23

in the wild. So the way your

4:25

system is supposed to work is that

4:27

your brain perceives an actual danger, it

4:30

releases these hormones, these hormones help you

4:32

run real fast, and then as soon

4:34

as you're physically safe, you're able to

4:36

sort of discharge that stress and go

4:38

back to normal. But that doesn't happen

4:40

when the stress is news around the

4:42

world that's coming in all the time.

4:44

It might actually be a good idea

4:46

to run away from your phone. That's

4:49

not what the hormones make you do.

4:51

Because in this case, the source of

4:53

the fear, the phone, the news, the

4:55

headlines, is also the source of the

4:57

information that your brain thinks is essential

5:00

to know to keep you safe and

5:02

alive. So you get trapped in this

5:04

loop of consuming a lot of negative

5:06

stressful news, creating a stress response in

5:08

your body, then feeling drained and exhausted

5:10

and burnt out from it because it

5:13

never goes away. So the solution to this

5:15

is learning how to use thoughtwork

5:17

to turn down that danger signal.

5:19

And I want to talk about

5:21

why that's actually a really good

5:23

idea. That level of danger signal

5:25

is not actually an appropriate

5:27

response to me. I think

5:30

it's an evolutionary misfire. Like I

5:32

keep seeing these posts on Instagram

5:34

that are basically like being devastated

5:36

24 7 is an appropriate and

5:38

like the correct response to our world.

5:41

I'm not sure that that's true.

5:43

I understand like the sentiment.

5:45

I agree that it's not

5:48

helpful to pretend that nothing

5:50

is happening in the world

5:52

or to sort of engage

5:54

in like toxic positivity and

5:56

bypassing, but I also actually

5:59

don't think that when our

6:01

brain is in a 24-7.

6:03

constant stress

6:06

and

6:08

despair

6:11

because

6:14

you're

6:18

constantly

6:21

exposed to

6:24

everything Even

6:26

if you

6:29

think about like 50

6:31

years ago, you know, okay, yes, we

6:34

had TV, we had newspapers, we had

6:36

the telephone, you'd still get your news

6:38

in like one dose. You would read

6:40

the paper and then put it down

6:42

and go on with your life. You

6:44

would watch the six o'clock evening news

6:47

and then turn it off, yet a

6:49

23-hour break until the next day. But

6:51

now it's in the phone, it's with

6:53

you all the time. and even our

6:56

sort of social interactional platforms are a

6:58

mix of so-and-so's new cute puppy and

7:00

also here's a photo of a dam

7:02

bursting ruining 10 villages right so your

7:05

brain is just getting this input all

7:07

the time and it's not designed for

7:09

it right and of course you know

7:11

some of these things are important to

7:14

know about and some are actually potentially

7:16

dangers to us and we don't want

7:18

to put our heads in the sand

7:21

just ignore them just ignore them but

7:23

I tell you I really don't think that

7:25

leaving it up to your amygdala, the

7:27

part of your brain that sets off

7:29

the alarm signal, to decide how you

7:31

should feel every day is a good

7:34

idea. Because your amygdala has only one

7:36

setting, which is fire, we are all

7:38

going to die right now. And your body

7:40

evolved to have that setting only go

7:42

off when it was really needed. And

7:44

then go back to normal. But right

7:47

now, with constant exposure to these

7:49

things, We're not going back to

7:51

normal, we're just staying stuck in

7:53

that position. Humans have survived and

7:55

lived and loved and kept going

7:58

and been sad and joyful. and

8:00

had the whole full human experience

8:02

in all kinds of conditions across

8:04

the ages. Gubonic Plague, Fall of

8:06

the Roman Empire, The Thousand Year

8:08

War. I'm not saying those were

8:10

good or fun times. But I

8:12

do think that we don't think

8:14

enough about history, and this is

8:16

particularly like an American exceptionalism thing.

8:18

So we've actually lost sight of

8:20

the idea that it is normal.

8:22

to have to live your little

8:24

human life with your own little

8:26

in the scope of things, concerns

8:28

and relationships and priorities and you

8:30

know, fixations, while on a global

8:32

scale both incredible and horrible things

8:34

are happening near and far and

8:36

all over the world. That is

8:39

actually the normal human condition. So

8:41

I think that some of the

8:43

social pop psychology media is like

8:45

so damaging because it's constantly telling

8:47

people that like people that like

8:49

Things going wrong around the world

8:51

means this is not normal. This

8:53

is not how it's supposed to

8:55

be. You should be on high

8:57

alert all the time. I don't

8:59

think if you look at history

9:01

that that's accurate. I think it

9:03

is the human condition and has

9:05

been historically and globally to have

9:07

to try to figure out our

9:09

own little lives in the scope

9:11

of like a really big world

9:13

where both beautiful and terrible things

9:15

are happening. And historically speaking, right.

9:17

there's a lot less violence than

9:19

there used to be. People live

9:21

a lot longer. We can cure

9:23

more diseases. So you could actually

9:25

argue things are getting better. But

9:27

even if they're not, I think

9:29

that it's really important to just

9:31

kind of have that context and

9:34

normalize that when you are reading

9:36

and taking in media that is

9:38

telling you that sort of being

9:40

activated and in a state of...

9:42

kind of hormonal emergency all the

9:44

time is required and useful. I

9:46

don't think That's true. Now, we

9:48

can't really get the cat back

9:50

in the bag. We can't go

9:52

to not knowing, and I'm not

9:54

here to tell you, you gotta

9:56

throw your phone into the East

9:58

River. So we have to use

10:00

thought work to manage our minds

10:02

to cope and survive and thrive,

10:04

even with all that knowing. And

10:06

we have to use thought work

10:08

to help us rewire our brain

10:10

so that we can respond appropriately

10:12

in ways that are helpful to

10:14

us. and so that we can

10:16

set some boundaries around how and

10:18

when we are going to inform

10:20

ourselves and think about the state

10:22

of the world and how and

10:24

when we're going to work on

10:26

being able to be present in

10:29

our own lives and cultivate more

10:31

peace and resilience now. But there's

10:33

a second big barrier to that

10:35

in your brain and we have

10:37

to talk about that second big

10:39

barrier in order to resolve this.

10:41

So here's the second big barrier

10:43

to changing the way that our

10:45

brains respond to and consume all

10:47

of the kind of negative news

10:49

in the world. The second big

10:51

barrier is that we have also

10:53

evolved to scan for social danger.

10:55

So we've evolved to scan for

10:57

physical danger and that response is

10:59

getting kind of hijacked and set

11:01

off too often. But also we've

11:03

evolved a scan for social danger.

11:05

And right now, the kind of

11:07

social story about terrible happenings around

11:09

the world, at least in more

11:11

kind of progressive circles. And again,

11:13

if you're newer to the podcast,

11:15

I was a reproductive rights litigator

11:17

and academic. I was an activist

11:19

and advocate for 20 years, like

11:21

I consider myself in these circles

11:24

and part of progressive circles. So

11:26

this is not a critique from

11:28

the outside. It's a observation from

11:30

the inside. The social story is

11:32

that you need to be glued

11:34

to the news and thinking only

11:36

about injustices in order to be

11:38

quote unquote informed and that you

11:40

must be informed in this specific

11:42

way. in order to be considered

11:44

a good and virtuous person. And

11:46

that if you're not, if you

11:48

were sort of ever thinking about

11:50

anything else, you are a selfish

11:52

privileged asshole. These are extreme versions

11:54

of these positions, but I think

11:56

if you pay attention you'll recognize

11:58

this concern in yourself. So in

12:00

a weird way, spinning out in

12:02

your own head about the state

12:04

of the world, can be a

12:06

form of people pleasing, where the

12:08

people that you are pleasing are

12:10

the audience in your head who

12:12

evaluate whether you are a good

12:14

person who is upset enough about

12:17

the state of the world. Plus,

12:19

of course, women are socialized to

12:21

always be looking for fun new

12:23

ways to feel bad about ourselves,

12:25

and to feel like we don't

12:27

deserve any happiness or any peace.

12:29

So this fits right in, and

12:31

I don't think it's a surprise

12:33

that I mostly see. this kind

12:35

of social enforcement happening on social

12:37

media among women. I don't really

12:39

see like male musicians being told

12:41

they shouldn't make music when there's

12:43

a war somewhere else in the

12:45

world. But to be fair, I

12:47

don't spend a lot of time

12:49

on male musicians social media. In

12:51

any case, like, I get it.

12:53

There is some intuitive appeal to

12:55

this idea for us because women

12:57

have been socialized for millennia to

12:59

believe that we are frivolous and

13:01

silly. So the message that it

13:03

is silly or frivolous to think

13:05

about our own confidence or empowerment

13:07

or our own suffering or our

13:09

own happiness fits right into that

13:12

narrative. Right? Who are we to

13:14

care about such things in times

13:16

like this? And... we are socialized

13:18

to believe that thoughts have moral

13:20

value. And so the idea that

13:22

the way we demonstrate being a

13:24

good person to ourselves or to

13:26

others is to emotionally suffer about

13:28

what's going on in the world

13:30

fits right into that socialization. So

13:32

this is why to me self-coaching

13:34

is always about looking at what

13:36

returns are my thoughts creating. That

13:38

is how I can easily decide

13:40

whether or not I like what

13:42

I'm getting for the mental and

13:44

emotional investment I'm making. Because when

13:46

we are in this cycle, I

13:48

don't think we're thinking about the

13:50

actual alternatives that we're deciding between

13:52

in terms of our mental and

13:54

emotional energy. If you've been wanting

13:56

to learn to coach yourself, you've

13:58

been self-coaching curious for a while,

14:00

you've wanted to work with me,

14:02

but you get overwhelmed when you

14:04

think about joining a membership and

14:07

you worry about whether you'll follow

14:09

through and whether you'll be able

14:11

to make time for the work,

14:13

then... I've got the thing for

14:15

you because I'm going to teach

14:17

you my core self-coaching method in

14:19

one all-day intensive workshop on Sunday,

14:21

March 2nd. One day with me,

14:23

I'm going to teach you the

14:25

method, I'm going to answer questions,

14:27

I'm going to coach some of

14:29

you live, it is interactive, you're

14:31

going to practice, and by the

14:33

end of the day, you're going

14:35

to understand your brain in a

14:37

whole different way. You can go

14:39

to Unfuck Your brain.com/coach your brain.

14:41

or text your email to plus

14:43

one, three, four, seven, nine, seven,

14:45

one, seven, eight, four, and of

14:47

course, if you can't make it

14:49

but you register, we will send

14:51

you a replay live, but I

14:53

encourage you to show up in

14:55

person because everyone who does gets

14:57

a free gift from me. I'll

14:59

see you there. So if your

15:02

dilemma is... I have an idea

15:04

to solve climate change, and I'm

15:06

not sure if I should go

15:08

to Washington to share it with

15:10

the president. You know, that's like

15:12

a hassle, and I'd kind of

15:14

rather go to the spa. Like,

15:16

listen, I do think if that's

15:18

you, your self-development and the spa

15:20

can wait. Let's save the planet.

15:22

Then you can do some visualizations

15:24

and get a massage afterwards. Okay.

15:26

But for the vast, vast, vast,

15:28

vast majority of us. That's not

15:30

the dilemma. That's not the question.

15:32

It's not, do I devote every

15:34

moment of my energy in my

15:36

entire life to literally saving the

15:38

world, or do I devote it

15:40

to my own mental and emotional

15:42

health? Most of us are actually

15:44

doing less than we could to

15:46

help improve the world, because we

15:48

are emotionally burnt out. by our

15:50

stress and anxiety and overwhelm. And

15:52

there's this strange aspect of kind

15:54

of the globalization of social media

15:57

that makes it seem as though

15:59

the individual average person is morally

16:01

wrong for caring about their own

16:03

lives if they are aware of

16:05

suffering anywhere in the world. Even

16:07

though they generally don't have the

16:09

ability to directly do anything about

16:11

that suffering. Now, do I believe

16:13

that our collective action can change

16:15

the world? Yes, absolutely. But again,

16:17

let's talk about what does that

16:19

mean in the concrete when we're

16:21

really talking about what you're doing

16:23

with your mental and emotional time

16:25

and your energy? On a global

16:27

level, how can you change the

16:29

world? You can vote, how you

16:31

vote, donating money, showing up to

16:33

protests. Those are kind of the

16:35

ways that you can impact big

16:37

picture, right? And doom scrolling on

16:39

your phone. may impact your voting

16:41

and maybe it spurs you to

16:43

donate money, but for most of

16:45

us, you know, voting, donating money,

16:47

even showing up to protests, that's

16:49

not a full-time job. So when

16:52

we are contemplating whether we are

16:54

sort of allowed to care about

16:56

our own lives, our own mental

16:58

and emotional development, whether it would

17:00

make us a bad person to

17:02

not be as upset as we

17:04

are all the time, we really

17:06

got to think about what returns

17:08

are we getting. What is being

17:10

kind of reactive and drained and

17:12

exhausted and anxious all the time

17:14

producing for us? Is that producing

17:16

some thing that is helping the

17:18

world? I don't think that it

17:20

is. And actually, I think that

17:22

it's blocking most of us from

17:24

the places that we actually could

17:26

make a difference. Because I'm going

17:28

to guess that when you're doom

17:30

scrolling, it's not provoking a lot

17:32

of action in your actual community

17:34

around you. Right. So one of

17:36

the problems with this like globalization

17:38

of social media is that we

17:40

are exposed to the biggest catastrophes

17:42

and horrors around the world. And

17:44

then there's this more. violence assigned

17:47

to whether we're outraged about them,

17:49

talking about them, posting about them.

17:51

And those things raise awareness, you

17:53

know, that can be important. But

17:55

it can also, when it's taken

17:57

too far, come at the cost

17:59

of us being plugged into our

18:01

actual reality and what is happening

18:03

around us. And what does that

18:05

cost us? Right? So like, for

18:07

instance, imagine that instead of thinking

18:09

about all of you and what

18:11

you need help with. I just

18:13

spent hours doom scrolling on my

18:15

phone, reading depressing news and spiraling

18:17

out on the couch. And yes,

18:19

maybe I also donated to a

18:21

fundraiser while I was doing that.

18:23

Is that fundamentally actually making the

18:25

world a better place? And if

18:27

so, in what way? So I

18:29

am not saying don't read the

18:31

news. I read the news personally.

18:33

I do follow what's going on

18:35

in the world. This is the

18:37

real life coaching world over here.

18:40

I am not saying to not

18:42

know what's going on. I have

18:44

multiple subscriptions. But you get to

18:46

decide how to consume the news,

18:48

how to consume social media, how

18:50

much time to spend on it,

18:52

what to consume, and what to

18:54

make it mean in your thoughts.

18:56

When negative emotions come up around

18:58

these things, it is natural and

19:00

since I do read the news,

19:02

I experience that and I work

19:04

on receiving those emotions and I

19:06

work on letting those emotions flow

19:08

through me and move me to

19:10

action. But I do not require

19:12

myself to consume every depressing article

19:14

I can find, nor do I

19:16

require myself to feel devastated every

19:18

day all day about the state

19:20

of the world in order to

19:22

feel like I am being realistic,

19:24

being I'll be honest, when I

19:26

think about that stuff, I don't

19:28

actually do anything to prepare. It's

19:30

not like spinning out about climate

19:32

change has gotten me to make

19:35

even a go bag for some

19:37

kind of disaster. And just spin,

19:39

then go asleep, and do it

19:41

again the next day. And it's

19:43

I don't require myself to sort

19:45

of have any particular emotion or

19:47

level... or duration of negative emotion

19:49

to prove to myself that I

19:51

am a good person or doing

19:53

the right thing or carrying the

19:55

right amount. Because that's sacrificing change

19:57

I can actually make in the

19:59

world for my own ego. Right?

20:01

When we are doom scrolling and

20:03

spinning out and our brains don't

20:05

want to change that because they

20:07

think that would make us a

20:09

bad person, we're actually subconsciously choosing.

20:11

that we think it is more

20:13

important to feel like shit and

20:15

often do nothing in order to

20:17

be allowed to believe that we're

20:19

a good person who cares, versus

20:21

not spiral out, feel better, actually

20:23

have emotional energy to show up

20:25

in the world and actually do

20:27

something in the world that might

20:30

help someone else. So like that

20:32

is why looking at the return

20:34

you get on the investment of

20:36

your thought, not like what's my

20:38

thought about the thought and feeling,

20:40

not does this make me a

20:42

good person, am I feeling the

20:44

right way that everybody tells me

20:46

I'm supposed to, am I thinking

20:48

the right thoughts that everyone says

20:50

I should have, but what is

20:52

actually happening in my body in

20:54

its physical form in this world

20:56

when I think this way? What

20:58

am I doing with it? You're

21:00

going to see so clearly when

21:02

you are actually sacrificing your ability

21:04

to get up and go out

21:06

and do things to improve the

21:08

world in order to perform a

21:10

certain way online, you know, give

21:12

yourself permission to think a certain

21:14

thought about yourself, all things that

21:16

are just about you and your

21:18

ego. And I don't say that

21:20

as a criticism. We all have

21:22

an ego. This is like a

21:25

lot of thought work is learning

21:27

to look at the actual returns

21:29

in my life rather than what

21:31

is my ego say. So in

21:33

my book I talk about the

21:35

idea of... finding something small you

21:37

can actually do to improve the

21:39

world. Now, some of you listening

21:41

to this maybe are in the

21:43

White House talking to the president

21:45

at high-level meetings about what to

21:47

do in a war zone, and

21:49

I hope you use this podcast

21:51

to be confident and share your

21:53

best ideas. And then a lot

21:55

of us myself... are not personally

21:57

poised to impact foreign policy and

21:59

global events beyond, again, voting, donating,

22:01

protesting, all of which is important,

22:03

but is not a full-time job

22:05

for most of us. For some

22:07

of us it is. You might

22:09

be a community organizer. Again, I'm

22:11

not talking to you, talking to

22:13

everybody else. A lot of us

22:15

have to look at what is

22:17

our sphere of influence. So, you

22:20

know, I have a bigger sphere

22:22

of influence than an average person.

22:24

Mine is the podcast. My students,

22:26

the people who will read my

22:28

book, but what's yours. But what's

22:30

yours. Is it your family? Is

22:32

it your office, your job, your

22:34

workplace? Is it your profession? Is

22:36

it your hobby community? Is it

22:38

your religious institution or organization? Is

22:40

it a place you could volunteer?

22:42

You know, doing something small and

22:44

local feels like it's quote unquote

22:46

doesn't matter because the problems of

22:48

the world are so big. But

22:50

I think that that's a misaligned

22:52

thought. That's a thought error. We

22:54

think that way because one, we

22:56

have been trained to be perfectionist

22:58

thinkers and that sabotages us in

23:00

every single area of our lives.

23:02

And two, we have lost our

23:04

ability, I think, to see and

23:06

appreciate the local, the proximate, because

23:08

we are now citizens of this

23:10

global social media. And again, like,

23:12

nothing is all one thing or

23:15

the other. Being able to see

23:17

and hear about what's happening everywhere

23:19

around the world and connect with

23:21

people around the world is an

23:23

amazing gift. and it has this

23:25

downside of making us feel like

23:27

we somehow live in that sphere

23:29

when in fact our actual lives

23:31

take place in communities that are

23:33

on a different scale most of

23:35

the time. And I'm not necessarily

23:37

talking about just like physically local,

23:39

I don't really consider my sphere

23:41

of influence to be. like my

23:43

neighborhood, although some of my neighbors

23:45

totally would, because there are people

23:47

who are really involved in our

23:49

neighborhood. My community influences all of

23:51

you. It's my podcast listeners, my

23:53

students, my followers, my clients, my

23:55

employees, the readers of my book.

23:57

But however you are, I want

23:59

you to think about what is

24:01

your sphere of influence. And I

24:03

want to encourage you to not

24:05

include or define that as your

24:07

social media profile, unless you are

24:10

actually someone who uses social media

24:12

for like real life community organizing,

24:14

in which case, carry on. But

24:16

if you're not that person, if

24:18

you're not actually someone who is

24:20

doing organizing work online that translates

24:22

into the real world, I want

24:24

to recommend you pick something other

24:26

than social media as a sphere

24:28

of influence to think about because.

24:30

We get sucked into the doom

24:32

scrolling to begin with and it

24:34

can be an echo chamber. I

24:36

really want you to think about

24:38

what is your sphere of influence

24:40

in the real world and how

24:42

could you make it a little

24:44

bit better? Right? You will be

24:46

shocked how much focusing on that

24:48

question will actually help you feel

24:50

much more grounded and empowered. So

24:52

we can use thought work to

24:54

reset our kind of emergency response

24:56

to reduce the stress and anxiety

24:58

when we are. learning about what's

25:00

happening in the world and we

25:02

are paying attention, which again, I

25:05

am never saying we should not

25:07

pay attention. We use thought work

25:09

to help recalibrate our response to

25:11

those things. We could also use

25:13

thought work to help us focus

25:15

on and create something in our

25:17

lives that is an improvement for

25:19

some other person. you will be

25:21

amazed how much that will help

25:23

you feel, again like grounded in

25:25

your own life and empowered, in

25:27

a way that like pulls you

25:29

out of that heady anxious fog

25:31

and down into your body and

25:33

reality. And that is much more

25:35

powerful than doom scrolling on the

25:37

couch. So in order to actually

25:39

create any positive impact in the

25:41

world, you have to manage your

25:43

mind. At this time of all

25:45

times. we need to be thinking

25:47

on purpose and not letting our

25:49

unmanage mind run the show. Because

25:51

when the stakes are high, that's

25:53

when we need to be showing

25:55

up with our game face, with

25:58

our head on straight, right? And

26:00

learning how to manage your mind

26:02

will make... your life feel better

26:04

to you, which is important because

26:06

you are a person who matters,

26:08

and it will help you show

26:10

up in a different way for

26:12

everybody else. If you're loving what

26:14

you're learning on the podcast, you

26:16

have got to come check out

26:18

the feminist self-help society. It's our

26:20

newly revamped community and classroom where

26:22

you get individual help to better

26:24

apply these concepts to your life,

26:26

along with a library of next

26:28

level, blow your mind coaching tools

26:30

and concepts that I just can't

26:32

fit in a podcast episode. It's

26:34

also where you can hang out,

26:36

get coached, and nerd out about

26:38

all things, thought work, and feminist

26:40

mindset with other podcast listeners just

26:42

like you and me. It's my

26:44

favorite place on earth and it

26:46

will change your life, I guarantee

26:48

it. Come join us at ww.unfuckyour

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brain.com/society. I can't wait to see

26:53

you there. The

27:01

way to actually change your brain is

27:03

to become very aware of the actual

27:05

literal specific thoughts you're thinking, which shockingly

27:07

most of us aren't aware of, and

27:09

understanding how to change them. You have

27:12

to learn to coach yourself, to identify

27:14

those thoughts, to connect your emotions back

27:16

to your thinking, and to be able

27:18

to trace how they're making you act,

27:20

and what you would need to change

27:22

in order to get different behavior. different

27:24

feelings and different outcomes. There is a

27:26

simple system you can use to do

27:29

this and I'm teaching it in a

27:31

one-day workshop called How to Coat Yourself.

27:33

It's actually the first time I've ever

27:35

done this, but I really want women

27:37

in this day and age in this

27:39

year 2025 with everything that is happening

27:41

in the world around us to feel

27:44

like they can at least control their

27:46

own brain, they can at least manage

27:48

their own emotional experience and they can...

27:50

have some control

27:52

over their own lives.

27:54

You go to unfuck go your.com/coach

27:56

to grab your

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spot spot text your

28:01

email to email to plus one,

28:03

three, four, seven, nine, one, -1784 word

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28:07

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two words. to You're

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28:13

this. Grab your

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spot and I will

28:18

see you there. you

28:20

there.