Episode Transcript
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0:00
Have you ever walked into a
0:02
business meeting and immediately felt underestimated?
0:04
Or maybe you've had a deal
0:06
where somebody just assumed you didn't
0:08
know what you were doing just
0:10
because you're a woman. Now, today,
0:12
let me tell you some of
0:14
my crazy stories going from zero
0:16
to $10 million and what I
0:18
faced and how I got over
0:20
it. and got through it. In
0:22
this video, you're going to learn
0:25
about unique challenges women face in
0:27
business, ranging from being underestimated, facing
0:29
double standards, and dealing with financial
0:31
biases. More importantly, I'm going to
0:33
share strategies on how to actually
0:35
overcome them, stand your ground with
0:37
confidence, and get through it. Now,
0:39
if you don't know who I
0:41
am, my name is Stacey Tushul,
0:43
I've been in business for over
0:45
22 years, and my businesses generate
0:47
over $10. what she's doing, assumption.
0:50
One of the biggest challenges I
0:52
faced when dealing with men, especially
0:54
older men, is assuming I don't
0:56
understand my own business. Let me
0:58
give you an example. Over a
1:00
decade ago, I bought a commercial
1:02
property for my second location of
1:04
my dance studios. And this building
1:06
had been vacant for many, many
1:08
years. And the guys next door
1:10
were actually using part of the
1:12
property I was now buying and
1:15
now owned. And they were trying
1:17
to number one. convinced me just
1:19
to let them continue using it
1:21
for free. And then finally gave
1:23
me this crazy low ball offer
1:25
to take them up on this
1:27
purchase price of this property. The
1:29
number was so insane that I
1:31
guarantee you if I was their
1:33
age and or a man, they
1:35
would never in a million years
1:37
said that number. But they're sitting
1:40
there looking at me, this young
1:42
blonde girl, right, thinking she doesn't
1:44
know, she's probably going to take
1:46
it, so let's lowball her. So
1:48
here's how you handle it. First
1:50
of all, you never take the
1:52
other person's opinion advice without getting
1:54
a non-biased opinion. So I knew
1:56
my numbers because I had already
1:58
consulted. real estate agent, my contractor
2:00
who was working on the building
2:02
and told me what that land
2:05
was worth, the banker, etc. I
2:07
had not just data on my
2:09
side, but I had other people
2:11
on my side. So even though
2:13
they were very condescending, I made
2:15
sure I was very professional and
2:17
I let them know I appreciate their
2:19
opinion or their offer. But we're
2:21
not even close to what the market
2:23
data actually says. So I wouldn't be
2:26
considering and I wouldn't even be counter
2:28
offering. So I let them know if
2:30
they would like to come back at
2:32
a fair price, I would be more
2:34
than happy to chat. Surprise, surprise, they
2:36
never came back because they realized what
2:38
I was actually going to charge. Now
2:40
even when they didn't get their way
2:42
with the land, they tried to keep
2:44
some of their junk on my property
2:46
and let me tell you I made
2:48
sure I did not stop until that
2:50
was off the property. A lot of
2:52
times they're just gonna hope you
2:54
don't know any better. So reach
2:56
out, start getting other people on
2:58
your side. Who can you ask
3:01
for an outside, unbiased opinion that's
3:03
going to help? get the information,
3:05
the data, the hard facts, you
3:07
need to hold your own. Never
3:09
negotiate from a place of doubt,
3:11
right? Hold your ground and don't
3:13
let them pressure you into a
3:15
lower deal. Now maybe you're in this
3:17
situation and you don't have that data
3:19
yet, but you feel compelled to say
3:21
something. I always tell my business owners,
3:23
listen, you can say Thanks so much
3:25
for the offer. I actually haven't done
3:27
my research. So I'm going to go
3:29
back and I'm going to talk to
3:31
my team and I'll let you know
3:33
what I have to say after I've
3:35
done my due diligence. I think sometimes
3:37
there's a pressure that you have to
3:39
respond in this moment and sound super
3:41
smart. It's okay to say, I have never actually
3:44
researched this or checked this out. But
3:46
now I'm going to, and I'll let
3:48
you know if we're even in the
3:51
same ballpark. It's okay. Number two is
3:53
the too young, too pretty syndrome. Now,
3:55
when I first started out, my landlord
3:58
called me Spacey Stacey. Mind you. I
4:00
was never late on rent. I never
4:02
missed a deadline. I always responded promptly.
4:04
So where did this spacy Stacey nickname
4:07
come from? You got me. And if
4:09
anybody knows me well, the one word
4:11
they would probably never use is spacy.
4:14
But because I was young, I was
4:16
female, I was assumed to be flighty.
4:18
So how do you handle this? Well,
4:21
number one, your reputation speaks louder than
4:23
assumptions. So keep those emails, those records.
4:25
anything that proves reliability. You can use
4:28
humor and directness. So Spacey, Stacey, that's
4:30
funny because I actually manage multiple businesses
4:32
and I never miss a deadline. Right,
4:35
correct those narratives early. If somebody gives
4:37
you a nickname or diminishes your credibility,
4:39
call it out with confidence. That story
4:42
is from 20 years ago. And at
4:44
the time, I didn't have the confidence
4:46
and I just let him call me
4:49
that. And because I didn't stand up
4:51
for myself, he continuously did do it.
4:53
So now, the more older, more mature
4:56
Stacey would never let that slide. And
4:58
I want to give you that confidence
5:00
now to say something and stand up
5:03
for yourself, no matter your age or
5:05
sex. Let's talk about the audit double
5:07
standard. Now, this is a really frustrating
5:10
reality. How women often get scrutinized harder
5:12
than men. A friend of mine was
5:14
doing things that were completely out of
5:17
compliance. Yet when I got audited, they
5:19
nitpicked me on deductions that were 100%
5:21
legitimate. Why? Because I think they assumed
5:24
I wouldn't push back. Versus maybe a
5:26
man would say something. So how do
5:28
you handle this? Well, you need to
5:31
keep detailed records so nobody can your
5:33
legitimacy. Push back with authority. If they
5:35
question you, ask them for the exact
5:38
policy in writing. Call out the double
5:40
standards. If you know others are getting
5:42
a free pass, question, why are you
5:45
being treated differently? Just because they're making
5:47
an assumption, you're not going to say
5:49
anything or you're going to let it
5:52
slide, doesn't mean you need to play
5:54
into what they're doing. Stand up for
5:56
yourself. yourself and make sure you're being
5:59
treated fairly. But also it's important that
6:01
you really do understand the law in
6:03
your state or country. If I didn't
6:06
realize that I was allowed to do
6:08
X, Y, Z, I wouldn't know to
6:10
push back. So when they tell me,
6:13
oh, by the way, you did this
6:15
incorrectly, I might go, oh, okay, and
6:17
just pay that amount. So you have
6:20
to make sure whenever they're doing that,
6:22
you've got to know what is actually
6:24
allowed and not allowed and really use
6:27
that information to push back. All right,
6:29
this one really bugs me. You should
6:31
be nice expectation, right? Women in business
6:33
are expected to be agreeable. If a
6:36
man negotiates hard, he's strong. If a
6:38
woman does the same thing, she's difficult.
6:40
So how do we handle this? You've
6:43
got to detach from the likability trap.
6:45
You're not here to be liked. You're
6:47
here to run a business. And that
6:50
means you need to set clear boundaries.
6:52
It's okay to say I'm not comfortable
6:54
with that. Let's discuss a fair alternative.
6:57
Embrace your directness. You don't have to
6:59
soften your stance to be heard. Go
7:01
with your gut. If something feels off,
7:04
you need to speak up and say
7:06
something. Number five, the emotional label. Have
7:08
you ever had somebody discuss your valid
7:11
concerns as being too emotional? Or worse,
7:13
when you're passionate about something, they tell
7:15
you to calm down. Let's discuss how
7:18
to handle it. Own your passion, but
7:20
stay calm. Don't give them an excuse
7:22
to call you irrational. You want to
7:25
redirect the conversation. This isn't about emotion,
7:27
it's about these results. So document and
7:29
escalate it if needed. If somebody is
7:32
repeatedly trying to undermine you, escalate strategically.
7:34
When I say that, a lot of
7:36
the people that I've been working with,
7:39
they have a boss. So even though
7:41
I'm a boss and I'm not escalating
7:43
it to anybody here internally, sometimes I
7:46
may need to go back to the
7:48
auditor and talk to their boss or
7:50
I need to speak to... my banker's
7:53
direct report. So these are things where
7:55
you may need to go above and
7:57
say, listen, I'm not able to work
8:00
with this person and here's why. I
8:02
demand to speak to somebody else. So
8:04
here's the thing, let them think what
8:07
they want to think. As long as
8:09
you know who you are, you're comfortable
8:11
in your own skin and you don't
8:14
belittle yourself or lower yourself to make
8:16
sure you fit into the mold they're
8:18
looking for. These things will happen, but
8:21
they don't have to stop you from
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what you want. These are just a
8:25
few of the challenges that women face
8:28
in business every day. The good news
8:30
is... None of these are roadblocks. We
8:32
can't overcome. The more we share these
8:35
stories, the more we empower other women
8:37
to stand their ground or negotiate with
8:39
confidence or demand respect that in every
8:42
room they walk into, it's important. Now,
8:44
if you faced any of these challenges,
8:46
or maybe some different ones, I would
8:49
love for you to share them in
8:51
the comments and hear how you may
8:53
be handled them. As a successful small
8:56
business owner, This is part of the
8:58
gig we signed up for. And every
9:00
one of these situations you've had to
9:02
walk through is going to make you
9:05
stronger and ready for the next big
9:07
challenge.
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