Episode Transcript
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Podcasts, a are millions of
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the day. But nobody is covering the
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most important topic of all. Why is that?
1:56
Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored
1:58
by the man? Now
2:32
recording. Hello, and welcome to What Did
2:34
You Do Yesterday? Do you know what,
2:36
David, I've been waiting for you to
2:38
take over the hard chair. I could
2:40
do with phoning it in. What episode
2:43
are we, Max? See, that's what you
2:45
always ask me, and I've never thought
2:47
of a smart or interesting answer, because
2:49
obviously I don't know what number episode
2:51
this is. Well, we've got, you see,
2:53
we've got series to running along, you
2:56
know, other weekends with the guests. Yes.
2:58
And this is for the Ultras, and
3:00
this is a new week mayhem episode,
3:02
mayhem episode. I'm gonna say six, but
3:04
I'm gonna say six, but I'm gonna
3:06
say six. Can I
3:09
give you some shocking news? Yeah,
3:11
this is from James. Dear David
3:13
and Max, greetings from Berlin. I'm
3:15
here for the Berlin Arlais Film
3:17
Festival and catching up on your
3:19
recent episodes. You wouldn't believe my
3:21
horror when I saw the premiere
3:23
of a new film starring Ben
3:26
Wyshore and Rebecca Hall, called Peter
3:28
Huyar's Day. The film tells the
3:30
true story of Linda Rosencrantz, who
3:32
in 1974 interviewed photographer Peter Hoyer
3:34
and asked him the question, what
3:36
did you do yesterday? Rosencrantz had
3:38
a full series in mind to
3:40
interview well-known celebrities and simply ask
3:43
them what they did yesterday. I'm
3:45
not saying your podcast is a
3:47
stolen idea. Or am I? But
3:49
I wanted you to make aware
3:51
that the phrase, what did you
3:53
do yesterday, has been deeply discussed
3:55
by the highest level intellectuals in
3:57
the arts industry around the world.
4:00
You're rubbing shaw- with the best
4:02
of the best, love the mood,
4:04
keep up the great work. What
4:06
does this mean David? I would
4:08
like to just make it clear
4:10
to lawyers who are listening on
4:12
behalf of that film that this
4:14
is entirely Max's idea this podcast.
4:17
Therefore legally I bear no responsibility
4:19
for the fact that he stole
4:21
Linda Rosencrant's idea from the early
4:23
70s. Thank you. Can we just
4:25
say? Can we just say that?
4:27
Unless it's been an amazing ruse
4:29
from me, the fact that I
4:31
couldn't even name you a Samuel
4:34
Beckett play would suggest that I
4:36
had not heard of the interview
4:38
series from Linda Rosencrantz in 1974.
4:40
But the real question is, why
4:42
are we not at the premiere?
4:44
Surely we are the first two
4:46
people that should be invited to
4:48
the Berlinala. I think if I
4:51
said to Mrs. I know we
4:53
had a second child three weeks
4:55
ago, but I must to Berlin
4:57
for the premiere of Peter Uyas
4:59
Day. It's true, it's when people
5:01
think of yesterday these days, we
5:03
are the first thing that comes
5:05
to mind. I think so. Yeah,
5:08
even, yeah, the Beatles song yesterday
5:10
now, all the comments underneath that
5:12
are, they rip this off David
5:14
Max. Should we sue the Beatles?
5:16
So we give it a go,
5:18
it would be good publicity, wouldn't
5:20
it? Graham in Bristol, on Celebrities
5:22
stealing coffees, Graham says, re-midweek madness,
5:25
what did you do yesterday, episode
5:27
7? This must be episode 8.
5:29
And you speaking about Russell Howard
5:31
stealing a coffee, it made me
5:33
think of my own story of
5:35
a celebrity taking a warm beverage
5:37
that wasn't there. Back in July
5:39
2022. There was a heat wave
5:42
in London. Reaching impressive heights of
5:44
38 degrees. It was awful. It
5:46
was worse for my wife, however,
5:48
as she was at the time
5:50
40 weeks pregnant. To help things
5:52
move along one morning before the
5:54
intense heat of the day, we
5:56
walked to our local cafe and
5:59
ordered a few lattice. While we
6:01
waited, none other than... Mark Pugach
6:03
strolled in and asked for a
6:05
cup of tea. Now Mark Pugach,
6:07
this is where you come in,
6:09
David, and say for those who
6:11
don't know is... Approaching national treasure
6:13
status, I would say. So hang
6:16
on. He's an ITV guy though,
6:18
and we don't really get ITV
6:20
in Ireland. Okay, so just a
6:22
World Cup, he does, so he'll
6:24
do, you know, the Euros, the
6:26
World Cup, he'll do the rugby
6:28
World Cup, talented, very nice guy.
6:30
He says, despite clearly being behind
6:33
us in the queue, when the
6:35
next drink was ready at the
6:37
counter, he asked the clearly very
6:39
hung over teenage barista, if it
6:41
was his. As said, Tinaa struggled
6:43
to form the word to form
6:45
the word, no. yards, had a
6:47
sip, then realized what had happened
6:50
and swiftly returned apologizing profusely. However,
6:52
in my eyes forever, he will
6:54
be the bastard who stole my
6:56
wife's coffee out of her very
6:58
pregnant hands, all the best grain
7:00
in Bristol. It's interesting, I think
7:02
the big difference between Pugach and
7:04
you is that you don't even
7:07
sip from it. You just look
7:09
at it and see that you're
7:11
unhappy with the level that it
7:13
has been filled too. This is
7:15
simply too much, whatever your weird
7:17
drink is... six flat whites in
7:19
a ice bucket or whatever the
7:21
thing that you want and then
7:24
you can't believe that they don't
7:26
understand what a, I asked for
7:28
a geriboom of a latte. Now
7:30
I got in touch with Mark
7:32
Pugach because, you know, because, you
7:34
know, because, as we've established, I'm
7:36
the only one with any connections
7:38
on this podcast. And he said,
7:41
he just said, bang to rights.
7:43
Yeah, hope you're well. Laughing crying
7:45
emoji but the one at an
7:47
angle. I normally go for faces
7:49
still at the same normal level
7:51
rather than at 45 degrees laughing
7:53
but that's what pugas has gone
7:55
for. I funnily enough like to
7:58
respond just with the what emoji
8:00
just my mouth is a perfect
8:02
circle. That gets you out of
8:04
most of those. So if I
8:06
was pugach there, out of three
8:08
of those, I was in like,
8:10
oh, you got me, bang to
8:12
write, hope all well, Max, please
8:15
stop emailing ITV and asking them
8:17
for my job. Matthew Stevenson says,
8:19
hi Max and David, listening to
8:21
the latest podcast, reminded me of
8:23
a time when X England goalkeeper.
8:25
and he hasn't given the name
8:27
stole my non while I'd waited
8:29
to collect my Indian takeaway. I'm
8:32
sure he was innocent in this
8:34
and it was a genuine error
8:36
on his part. I was left
8:38
nonless and have never been back
8:40
to the same establishment since Keep
8:42
Up the Good Work. So imagine
8:44
you see it back in touch
8:46
and tell us which ex England
8:49
goalkeeper that was unless there's been
8:51
a production failure in the cutting
8:53
and pasting. Wow. Can I only
8:55
presume it was David Seaman? Shilton's
8:57
a Shilton era, I think. But
8:59
he's still alive, like, it could
9:01
have been, it wasn't like, I
9:03
don't think, I don't know. I
9:06
think non-bread existed when Italian 90
9:08
was on, don't you? It is
9:10
a problem if you're doing, if
9:12
you're a goalkeeper doing crimes and
9:14
you're in the post era where
9:16
your name is written across the
9:18
back of your Jersey. Yeah, that's
9:20
true. If you do it in
9:23
full kit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:25
That's why it favours. That's why
9:27
it favours. It favours. It favours
9:29
the earlier. It favours the earlier
9:31
era. Because then it could be
9:33
years at Ray Clements. Yeah, because
9:35
they alternate crimes, children and clements,
9:37
don't they? That's one for the
9:40
non-footballing crowd. Or anyone. Anyone under
9:42
the 30. What are you talking
9:44
about? Amanda Fox says on herons.
9:46
On herons. Sounds like okay. That's
9:48
a Sam Beckett essay, I'm sure
9:50
it is. On herons. by a
9:52
man to find. Dear Max and
9:54
David, have listened to every episode
9:57
of the part, I really enjoy
9:59
it. Like Max, I'm an Australian-based
10:01
Brit Sheffield Board and bread and
10:03
I teach music to preschool as
10:05
Wollongong-gong-kong-s. Wollongong-gong- conservatorian, can't say it.
10:07
Conservatorium. Conservatorian. Conservatorian. Conservatory. What's happening
10:09
to me? Yeah, I don't know
10:11
what you were going for there.
10:14
Some words I can see, you
10:16
know, there's a gym near me
10:18
in Dublin called Perpetua, but I
10:20
insist when I see it, I
10:22
call it Perpetua. Perpetua is what
10:24
a group on the apprentice would
10:26
say their team name should be,
10:28
isn't it? Just say your team
10:31
A, get it done. We're team
10:33
A, fine, right, let's get on
10:35
with the task. Anyway, the concerto
10:37
of... Oh, fuck. The con, she
10:39
writes, thankfully, is located in the
10:41
beautiful Botanic Gardens. And consequently, we're
10:43
frequently visited by wildlife, deer, wallabies,
10:45
and lots of birds. I also
10:48
play and teach clarinet. Wow. And
10:50
I take the opportunity to practice
10:52
once my small musical geniuses have
10:54
left the building. Reasonally I was
10:56
distracted from the piece I was
10:58
playing by rhythmic tapping. I stopped
11:00
playing and the tapping stopped. I
11:02
continued playing and the tapping resumed.
11:05
I eventually realized that a heron
11:07
was looking in on me and
11:09
providing percussion on the floor to
11:11
ceiling windows. In short, herons may
11:13
well have a preference for the
11:15
clarinet repertoire. Did we get on
11:17
to herons in the clarinet? Do
11:19
you remember? We definitely did. Well
11:22
we've certainly shot on about clarinets
11:24
and by we I mean you
11:26
have a lot. Someone was listening
11:28
and was putting out something as
11:30
a heron deterrent. That's right. The
11:32
heron deterrent. The heron was stealing
11:34
the goldfish from someone's pond. And
11:36
have you ever had this, while
11:39
you were clarineting away, have you
11:41
ever had little s, s snow
11:43
white style, someday my parents will
11:45
come, seen where animals will start
11:47
joining in with you? No, at
11:49
no point if I mean playing
11:51
clarinet and a badger popped out
11:53
to do a little dance. Lots
11:56
of people got in touch, including...
11:58
Noelle Chu to say, hi, Donald's
12:00
Max, a quick note to let
12:02
you know, Max, the scary cream
12:04
bun film that I was talking
12:06
about, was Young Sherlock Holmes, where
12:08
a young Watson was darted with
12:10
a blowpipe by a member of
12:13
an Egyptian death cult and started
12:15
having hallucinations about cream horns jumping
12:17
on his face and into his
12:19
mouth. I adored that film and
12:21
went to my local cinema to
12:23
see it. I still have the
12:25
book, love the pod. Yeah, I
12:27
remember that as I... Also fail
12:30
to recall when we were discussing
12:32
young Sherlock Holmes and the cream
12:34
buns that came to life. Do
12:36
you think Max maybe our producer
12:38
Morris Barr has created AI versions
12:40
of us that are doing all
12:42
these other episodes of this where
12:44
they discuss for example Egyptian death
12:46
cults and stuff? I'm just nodding
12:49
along now. Yeah, yeah, I remember
12:51
that. Connolly Bryan says the bootlace
12:53
worm. This is on the longest
12:55
sea creature. which we established with
12:57
the jellyfish the other day. The
12:59
boot lace worm, Linius Longgissimus, reaches
13:01
length of 60 meters. Almost a
13:03
third longer than the lion's main
13:06
jellyfish. Thanks for the part. Thank
13:08
you, con. Oh, I checked it
13:10
out. I'm stopping. The lion's man
13:12
jellyfish. So according to your Christmas
13:14
quiz, is that... You hadn't sourced
13:16
any of the answers. You know,
13:18
if I was doing a quiz,
13:20
I would say stuff like, according
13:23
to National Geographic, what is... Wow,
13:25
okay. Blah, blah, blah. No, I
13:27
just got on Google. So, but
13:29
I thought the lion's main jellyfish
13:31
was 100, oh, maybe 100 feet.
13:33
It's longer than a blue whale.
13:35
But is this worm even longer
13:37
than a blue whale then? Do
13:40
you know, I checked out the
13:42
worm, and it's too... tidily. I
13:44
mean it's long but it's just
13:46
not got enough about it to
13:48
count. That was the decision that
13:50
I made when I looked, I
13:52
Google it today. That's what it's
13:54
been my day doing. Wow, you
13:57
are a veritable Norris McGuirter and
13:59
Norris... never used the words, it's
14:01
not got enough about it to
14:03
count for this record, unfortunately. Shall
14:05
we add the cheese? Oh yeah,
14:07
go on. First of all, I
14:09
got a lot of criticism from
14:11
my friend Davo, the osteopath from
14:14
Melbourne. He got quite aggressive. He
14:16
sent me a message at 926
14:18
in the evening the other day.
14:20
No mozzarella on a cheese board,
14:22
the fuck's wrong with you. And
14:25
then he said, I know you're
14:27
tasting food, and left your own
14:30
devices, you'd prepare the shittest cheese
14:32
board. And then he reeled off
14:34
a lot of mozzarella's, because I
14:36
think I'd said mozzarella had no
14:38
place on a cheese board. He
14:41
then sent me the hamper emporiums,
14:43
how to make the perfect cheese
14:45
board, and referred me to paragraph
14:47
three, which says, for a soft
14:49
cheese, it's hard to pass up
14:51
a good quality brie. Wow, does
14:54
everyone text you with this level
14:56
of aggression? Like, he seems to
14:58
go really studs up into this.
15:00
He did go in two-footed on
15:02
this. Yeah. Amongst my friends, my
15:05
very plain tastes in food are
15:07
seen as a floor. I like
15:09
spaghetti bowl and ace, and I
15:11
like cheese. And I'm 45. You're
15:13
not going to change me. No.
15:16
That's it. Olive? Would you like
15:18
an olive? Or would you just
15:20
be like, these are like grapes
15:22
but they're not, no. Do you
15:24
know what? I'm really sort of
15:26
working into olives. And I think
15:29
by the time I'm in my
15:31
mid-fifties, I'll be positively pro- olive.
15:33
At this stage, I'm sort of,
15:35
yeah, fine. But I wouldn't want
15:37
to, you know, I wouldn't take
15:40
an olive off of pizza. I
15:42
feel a bit of judgment coming
15:44
from Dublin here. No, no, no.
15:46
I don't. That's the thing about
15:48
me. I'm only, only God can
15:50
judge you. Right. But what I'm
15:53
trying to find here with this
15:55
olive line of questioning is, what's
15:57
the limit? What's the most exotic
15:59
thing? Sparkling water? Have you ever
16:01
tried sparkling water? What now? I
16:04
don't know what you mean. Do
16:06
you know what I think it
16:08
is? I have a really, really
16:10
sensitive sense of smell. I think
16:12
more sensitive than most people. So
16:15
like, I think I experience odours
16:17
in a more profound way than
16:19
people that can handle really smelly
16:21
foods. But because on my nose
16:23
is like, I'm like a semélié
16:25
on it. That I just, it's
16:28
all too much for me. See,
16:30
I maintain I am this guy,
16:32
as in the Hellencopter, there's a
16:34
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20:06
crispy, pickles, onions, and a Sesame C
20:09
bun, of course. And don't forget the
20:11
fries in a drink. Sound good. Bada,
20:13
bah, bah, bah. I participate in
20:15
restaurants for a limited time. Right, come
20:17
on, let's get on with the cheese
20:20
game. Ladies and I mean, it's time
20:22
for Kurdle Master Rhine, what did you
20:24
fond of do yesterday? Okay,
21:09
so last week Iris guest
21:12
and Castle Blue is in
21:14
the right place. She also
21:16
got Manchago, Right Cheese, Wrong
21:18
Place. So this is from
21:20
Joe Stearner or Joe Turner.
21:22
Via iTunes Review, of course,
21:25
we will only accept guesses with
21:27
a five-star review and guesses put
21:29
on the iTunes with that. And
21:31
thank you everybody. I don't know
21:34
if that's helped us go up
21:36
the algorithm charts, but we did
21:38
get lots of people putting cheeses.
21:40
If you just stumbled on the
21:43
podcast, you'd be like, why? These
21:45
reviews make no sense at all,
21:47
but we don't know. Joe says,
21:49
this would be so much easier
21:52
if it was Max's cheese board,
21:54
baby bell cheese string, slice
21:56
craft cheese, Philadelphia, cathedral city.
22:00
I love the party says, I
22:02
can't wait till you run out
22:04
of comedians, we get to find
22:06
out what Steve Guppy eats for
22:08
breakfast and health, he takes a
22:10
dump. Here we go, are you
22:12
ready? Are you ready? Yeah. Do
22:14
you want to buzz Joe in?
22:17
Bizzuring? Oh wow, three out of
22:19
three. Sensational stuff. It's the it's
22:21
the note at the end. You
22:23
really get it. Like I think
22:25
most people would would like they
22:27
just wouldn't get that final bit.
22:29
It's really is. It's so remarkable.
22:31
Okay, Cashel Blue. Bing, bing, bing,
22:34
bing, bing. Manchago. Bing, bing, bing,
22:36
bing, bing. Wow! So yeah. Yes,
22:38
wow. Okay. We've got two greens
22:40
now. This is enormous. Joe Turner.
22:42
It's a three cheese board everybody.
22:44
Gubbin! Now that's a good one
22:46
because it's a very Irish cheese.
22:48
So what Joe's has tried to
22:51
do is put himself into the
22:53
Odaradi mine spot. Wow, that's great
22:55
work. Gorgonzola. Linconshire poacher. What the
22:57
hell is that? I don't know.
22:59
It's a cheese, isn't it? Okay,
23:01
there we go. So we're now
23:03
on a three cheese board. We're
23:05
slowly getting very exciting, but nobody
23:08
knows what those three cheeses are.
23:10
Obviously, if you listen back to
23:12
other episodes, you'll know the other
23:14
cheeses that have been knocked out.
23:16
Yes. You should thank the people
23:18
at the tour, the people on
23:20
tour. Oh my goodness. I did
23:22
a gig in the Albert Hall
23:25
in Manchester the night before last.
23:27
and when I came back after
23:29
the gig, Kim and Mo had
23:31
left. Okay, not just five cheeses,
23:33
but but Kim. had made a
23:35
little plinth for the cheeses. Like
23:37
it had clearly been cut out
23:39
bits of fancy paper and glue.
23:42
And so each cheese sits on
23:44
a little green shiny bit and
23:46
the note says this is a
23:48
five-star review for what you do
23:50
yesterday. trying to get around the
23:52
rules theremax that's why we absolutely
23:54
do not count this unfortunately no
23:56
it's very nice says DOD and
23:59
Mr. Rush and keep up the
24:01
good work lots of love Kim
24:03
and Mo but like yeah but
24:05
but initially had Cash or Blue
24:07
and Manchago in the right places
24:09
it did have those two yeah
24:11
and the thing is if we'd
24:13
never started this podcast those nice
24:16
two people would never have sat
24:18
at home cutting out little bits
24:20
of green paper giving you a
24:22
cheese board, but that would never
24:24
ever have happened. But if it
24:26
did, it would have confused you
24:28
greatly. Also, like I'm not saying
24:30
what I do is an athletic
24:33
event, but it was an unconventional
24:35
thing to finish the gig, and
24:37
by way of a recovery, just
24:39
started eating cheese maybe 30 seconds
24:41
after the gig ended. Yeah, you
24:43
don't get that at the end
24:45
of the London marathon. a bottle
24:47
of water. You just don't get
24:50
a hunk of brie to say,
24:52
well done. Well done. Hey, I
24:54
think it's my yesterday. I think
24:56
it's my yesterday that we're doing
24:58
now. Yeah, I did the last
25:00
one and I'm intrigued to know
25:02
the first yesterday since doubling the
25:04
size of your family. Max Rushton,
25:07
what did you do yesterday? I
25:09
mean, my family went from three
25:11
to four, so I don't want
25:13
to be a pendant. But we
25:15
wrapped 25 percent. or at 33%
25:17
not sure. Fine. Doubles. Okay. Okay.
25:19
So, so, so, very hard to
25:21
say at what point I woke
25:24
up because there's a two week
25:26
old baby in my bed or
25:28
at the end of my bed
25:30
at all times and they are
25:32
not really focused on the job
25:34
in hand at this stage. So
25:36
really, you got to train that
25:38
into them. Just play them high
25:41
performance podcasts, stuff like that. Then
25:43
they'll be up at five. I
25:45
don't want them up at five.
25:47
So last thing I want them
25:49
to me. So, but I'd say,
25:51
come morning, actually it was Ian,
25:53
not Willie that woke me up
25:55
at Harper Six, which is great.
25:58
Car Six, you take that any
26:00
day of the week. Yeah. So
26:02
I jumped out about, jump his
26:04
pats. is an overstretch on how
26:06
I moved. Mrs. Rushton and Willie
26:08
were asleep and she gets less
26:10
sleep than I do overnight because
26:12
she is feeding Willie and I'm
26:15
just changing his nappy and then
26:17
going back to sleep like a
26:19
massive lump. And she is saying,
26:21
oh I bet that's nice to
26:23
lie down at two in the
26:25
morning and I have no response.
26:27
So I jump out of bed
26:29
and I... Ian, because we've told
26:32
him he's not allowed to leave
26:34
the room until 6. He is
26:36
now obsessed with the time. Like
26:38
obsessed with it, so he will
26:40
ask what the time is every
26:42
minute of the day. And I'm
26:44
still quite enjoying it. And if
26:46
he asks me, I ask him
26:49
what the time is. And he's
26:51
getting better at telling the time.
26:53
It's very confusing. I have been
26:55
told that... Sometimes when I would
26:57
pick my niece up from school
26:59
and she says where are mommy
27:01
and daddy if you just say
27:03
soon they'll be her soon because
27:06
she doesn't necessarily fully grasp the
27:08
hours yeah but understands the concept
27:10
of soon whereas it seems like
27:12
you have skipped that period little
27:14
Ian rushed yeah he knows minute
27:16
by minute what's going on so
27:18
he gets a he gets a
27:20
surprise If he stays in his
27:23
room until 6, at 6.30, he
27:25
goes, should we get a prize?
27:27
The prizes are in a blue
27:29
bag, hung on a hook, but
27:31
he can't reach in the living
27:33
room. So, it's not like just
27:35
outreaching, he's jumping up and down.
27:37
He's not interested in the bag,
27:40
except for the morning. So he
27:42
gets himself a toy. protein shake.
27:44
He gets himself a tiny car,
27:46
little car and he's happy about
27:48
that. I put him in front
27:50
of the TV like any good
27:52
parent should and a bit of
27:54
stinking and dirty and I on
27:57
my laptop while I'm making him
27:59
porridge start to watch a 25
28:01
minute cut down of Tottenham Hotsper
28:03
One Managed United Neil. Oh interesting,
28:05
yeah. I have a bowl of
28:07
weetabix with some sultana brand on
28:09
top as a sort of, you
28:11
know, I'm not doing a lot
28:14
of exercise at the moment because
28:16
I've... you know, it's just another
28:18
child in the house. And so
28:20
I'm thinking, let's start healthy. All
28:22
right. Just, if I can cut
28:24
across there, you had wheat picks.
28:26
Remember you did not have, oh
28:28
yes, wheat picks. A lot of
28:31
the listeners might have thought you
28:33
put the A in there, you
28:35
had a completely different product. It's
28:37
in a blue pack, does not
28:39
feature Brian or any of the,
28:41
do remember they anthropomorphicized? Wiedabix for
28:43
a while. Yeah. And they made
28:45
them into sort of like skinhead
28:48
type Londoners. Did they? Like a
28:50
firm? Like are they all Brexiteers?
28:52
They marching on the cenotaph. Are
28:54
they defending the cenotaph? All right.
28:56
These wiederbks. That's what's happening. So
28:58
Mrs. Rushton gets up, Willie gets
29:00
up, you know, we're all, you
29:02
know, we're pooling around. Yeah. We're
29:05
mainly, the main conversation is, I
29:07
think, I think. But like, remember,
29:09
not that it's important, but I
29:11
finished a radio at half past
29:13
midnight on a Sunday night. So
29:15
I am, I've had not had
29:17
enough sleep for me, and it's
29:19
interrupted sleep now as well. Yeah.
29:22
All things going well, I've got
29:24
to get Ian, I have one
29:26
bike, I've got to get Ian
29:28
onto the bike at 10 to
29:30
8, to get to Kinder, because
29:32
I've got to go off to
29:34
work. And it's the only day
29:36
where I've got an appointment, really,
29:39
really, really. He's got a little
29:41
trapeze. It's not like up in
29:43
the sky. Are you serious? He's
29:45
got like a little hang tough.
29:47
He's got the rings. I guess.
29:49
He's got the rings and the
29:51
other day we bought him he
29:53
really wanted some chains so we
29:56
went to Bunnings which is a
29:58
B&Q. It's B&Q for Australia except
30:00
that as far as I can
30:02
tell it sets the tone for
30:04
all elements of Australia. Like it's
30:06
not an after B&Q is not
30:08
like a central, like a totem
30:10
pole of... British culture is just
30:13
a shot where you get hardware.
30:15
Bunnings is like the centre of
30:17
the universe. And every time you
30:19
go there, someone else is doing
30:21
a sausage sizzle, doing a barbecue
30:23
for something, you know, the local
30:25
netball team or whatever. Everyone in
30:27
Bunnings is basically the nicest person
30:30
you've ever met. They're all in
30:32
credit, they all just look amazing.
30:34
Yeah. And they're very, very helpful.
30:36
So we get the chains. The
30:38
chains. We've just introduced a lot
30:40
of elements here. Just do slaps,
30:42
scottropies, he's got a giant cannon
30:44
that you fire him out of.
30:47
And I'm just supposed to be
30:49
like, yeah, yeah, what happens there?
30:51
There's also, I haven't mentioned, there's
30:53
an elephant just balancing in the
30:55
middle of the garden, which the
30:57
neighbours do frown upon that we've
30:59
got that in, but we love
31:01
him. What are the chains for,
31:04
most of the chains? The chains.
31:06
The other day he just wanted
31:08
some chains. So we were like,
31:10
okay. I said I drive him
31:12
to bunnings and we bought some
31:14
chains we bought three chains a
31:16
big yellow plastic one and two
31:18
quite light metal ones and what
31:21
he likes to do is get
31:23
on the trapeze and then land
31:25
on the chains and slide along
31:27
and then land on his ass
31:29
point was I said yeah is
31:31
he trying to haunt the neighbours
31:33
that's that's I would say the
31:35
main use of chains in this
31:38
day at age is for fake
31:40
hauntings Yeah, he just like sliding
31:42
around on the chains. And actually
31:44
the other day I basically I
31:46
played the carpenters back on the
31:48
chain gang on loop and just...
31:50
slid him around the house and
31:52
he was just on chain for
31:55
a long time. And I thought
31:57
this is an incidental fitness for
31:59
me and he seems to be
32:01
having a good time. I hope
32:03
I don't dislocate his shoulders because
32:05
I just don't know how strong
32:07
his arms in his sockets are.
32:09
But yeah, it's, I think it's
32:12
just a point in this podcast
32:14
where I just have to be
32:16
like, yeah, no, you just want
32:18
to change. I don't think I'm
32:20
going to get to the bottom
32:22
of this. So his setup is,
32:24
does he have a chair on
32:26
the back of the bike that
32:29
he sits in? Yeah, he's got
32:31
a chair on the back of
32:33
the bike. But the problem was,
32:35
I said, one more go on
32:37
the trapeze and then we'll go
32:39
and then when he did that,
32:41
he wanted another one and I
32:43
was like, no, I'd set the
32:46
boundary. So basically, he then turns
32:48
into an electric eel and he
32:50
can... as I've talked about, he
32:52
can dislocate every muscle in his
32:54
body. So whenever I try and
32:56
pick him up, he just sort
32:58
of slithers out and then eventually
33:00
I have to kind of, I
33:03
have to sort of shove him
33:05
into the chair. Yeah, you know,
33:07
it was loud and it was
33:09
very upset about it. And then
33:11
Jamie came out and sort of
33:13
pacified things. So then we cycled
33:15
to Kimda and he's sad about
33:17
it, but then he sees a
33:20
van and he's fine. I don't
33:22
know where he gets his simplicity
33:24
from, but... We get to kinder,
33:26
drop him off, and I made
33:28
him a ramp, which means get
33:30
a wooden, a long wooden stick,
33:32
sort of flat stick, bim. two
33:34
by four and I just balanced
33:37
it on a bookshelf and put
33:39
a car down it and then
33:41
I said see you later I
33:43
love you and he completely ignored
33:45
me because now he had the
33:47
ramp and then I cycled to
33:49
South Yarra to host the Isuzu
33:51
Ute A league download. So hang
33:54
out we just need to go
33:56
through that name. So Isuzu is
33:58
a car brand. Yeah yeah and
34:00
it's We're sponsored by a Ute.
34:02
Of course we're sponsored by a
34:04
Ute. Ute is the national car
34:06
of Australia, because it doesn't really
34:08
exist in other places. It's basically
34:11
a flatbed, not really a truck, more
34:13
like a car with a flatbed
34:15
and a fancy interior, but you
34:17
can throw your tools on the
34:19
back. Is that a fair description
34:21
of a Ute? Pretty much exactly
34:24
what a Ute is, yes. So
34:26
we're sponsored by a Ute. Yeah,
34:28
it's so someone once described it
34:30
as you can work on the
34:32
farm during the week and drive
34:34
your wife to church on a
34:36
Sunday. That's the dream of the
34:39
yute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think,
34:41
I mean, I don't think, I
34:43
don't know if I have ever
34:45
been in a yute, but I
34:47
think you're right, I think if
34:49
you were in a yute and
34:51
you didn't look around behind you,
34:54
you could be forgiven for thinking
34:56
you were just in a normal
34:58
saloon car. and little, you know,
35:00
unbeknownst to you, there was a
35:02
basically a skip behind you, where
35:04
you could put all manner of
35:06
things. So I do that with,
35:09
as we've already established, the third
35:11
greatest Danish goalkeeper of all time,
35:13
Thomas Sorenson, and legendary Australian Center
35:15
forward Archie Thompson, who once scored
35:17
13 goals in a game against
35:19
American Samoa, which is a world
35:21
record. Oh, he played, there's an
35:24
amazing documentary about that. So American
35:26
Samo were the worst team in
35:28
the world. They lost 20 or
35:30
14-il to Australia, maybe 20-nil, and
35:32
that must be the game where
35:34
he scored it. And then FIFA,
35:36
the football governing body. So there
35:39
was subsequently a feature film that
35:41
Tykawatidi made about this that wasn't
35:43
as good, but the actual original
35:45
documentary is called Next Goal wins.
35:47
and it American Samoa decide they're
35:49
going to turn around. They get
35:51
a Dutch coach who sort of
35:54
starts to understand the culture on
35:56
what motivates the team and they
35:58
end up like the rocky triumph
36:00
moment of the whole film is.
36:02
that I think they'd be Tonga
36:04
Wannill. Amazing. No, do you know
36:07
what? I've never seen it and
36:09
I know it's brilliant and I
36:11
have to see it because I
36:13
bet I will cry. Yes. So
36:15
he, without him, that documentary wouldn't
36:17
happen. I got the correct size
36:19
coffee. So just for the record,
36:22
I was happy with it. Few.
36:24
Then I cycled to my physio,
36:26
the hip groin expert Andrew Wallace.
36:28
Oh, wow. And he gave me
36:30
a rubber band. and gave me
36:32
some exercises to do. So when
36:34
you say hip groin, does that
36:37
mean he's very hip? Yeah, he's
36:39
the trendiest growing guy in Melbourne.
36:41
I have a question here. Max.
36:43
So currently I have a stiff
36:45
knee. So I'm doing this UK
36:47
tour at the moment, Northampton on
36:49
Thursday, thank you. And so I
36:52
have a sore knee, a sore
36:54
shoulder because of the various pillows.
36:56
I still haven't got that sorted.
36:58
Do you think I can go,
37:00
oh and I've got a sort
37:02
of a quad muscle injury as
37:04
well, can I go to a
37:07
fizzio with a threefer with three
37:09
entirely separate things wrong with me?
37:11
But the issue I think is
37:13
if you go to your high
37:15
street fizzio, I went to a
37:17
high street fizzio and he misdiagnosed
37:19
this problem and he gave me
37:22
lots of exercises to do which
37:24
and Wallace said. were all completely
37:26
wrong. And actually were counterintuitive. But
37:28
he wasn't, but he was very
37:30
professional so he didn't criticize the
37:32
other physio, he's just saying my,
37:34
what I view your issue is,
37:37
is not the issue that you
37:39
were previously told. Eat 20 olives
37:41
a day. So I did my,
37:43
got my little exercises to do
37:45
and I cycled home and that
37:47
was about a 40 minute cycle
37:50
and Mrs. Russian had made me
37:52
a falafel plate. Wow. We got
37:54
a takeaway the night before and
37:56
I hadn't had it for some
37:58
reason and so it was there
38:00
and that was really delicious and
38:02
I sat in the sun and
38:05
I was very happy about it.
38:07
So good. down for a nap
38:09
and so did I? Yeah. And
38:11
then an hour later Mrs. Rushton
38:13
rang me to ask why I
38:15
hadn't woken up after an hour
38:17
because she had done the laundry,
38:20
the dishwasher, and cooks a pancake.
38:22
And can I just, does Mrs.
38:24
Rushton ring you from inside the
38:26
palatial presidential residence? No, I think,
38:28
I don't, no, I think she
38:30
was out at the time. Okay,
38:32
fine. But I couldn't be totally
38:35
sure. But I woke up again,
38:37
sad because I wake up sad
38:39
for me now. That was not,
38:41
I wasn't sad for long. That
38:43
was, I was pretty upbeat and
38:45
I did the pins. Sorry enough.
38:47
Yeah. Good. Watch Magic of the
38:50
Day 2 and wrote the script
38:52
for Football Weekly and then Ian.
38:54
Most people wouldn't think that is
38:56
a thing. I know you... do
38:58
when we do these episodes i'm
39:00
not saying you have a script
39:02
but you do read through the
39:05
correspondence whereas i just react to
39:07
it like a god damn prince
39:09
i just sit here in my
39:11
throne you're just mr riff you're
39:13
just here to riff you say
39:15
i'll be back Helen Copter now
39:17
and just doing some riffing whereas
39:20
actually all my words are scripted
39:22
That's why when I asked you
39:24
what happens in Asterix there was
39:26
a set of you just going
39:28
through hundreds of pages till you
39:30
found your brief description of. So
39:33
yeah did this script for that.
39:35
Ian came back from Kinder, Jamie
39:37
went to get him and we
39:39
had set up an obstacle course
39:41
in the back garden. And so
39:43
that involves some stepping stones, couple
39:45
of chairs, three chairs, some squares
39:48
that he had to jump over.
39:50
And then I sort of said
39:52
you could cycle around the house,
39:54
which he did a couple of
39:56
times, but he liked the stepping
39:58
stones more. And then you finish
40:00
on the trapeze, obviously. Did you
40:03
introduce the concept, because it is
40:05
one of, for me, the key
40:07
elements of my pre- 10 years
40:09
lava now this as in like
40:11
the ground is lava yeah I
40:13
hear you we're yet to introduce
40:15
lava to Ian because we haven't
40:18
introduced volcanoes so I read less
40:20
than Jamie and she's also a
40:22
primary school teacher she's she just
40:24
knows more than me and has
40:26
intuitively is a better parent than
40:28
I am So I'm waiting for
40:30
her to, for the big things,
40:33
like introducing volcanoes. I'm waiting. I'm
40:35
not like, I'm not deferring, I'm
40:37
not, I'm playing an active role
40:39
in Ian's life. Yeah. But if
40:41
a big decision like volcanoes came
40:43
up, I would say, should we
40:45
talk about volcanoes? Well, I just,
40:48
I just, it's a good idea.
40:50
I reckon around three, four, maybe
40:52
you need to, like I'm imagining
40:54
you and you've got some black
40:56
boards and you're showing how underneath
40:58
the crust of the crust of
41:00
the earth. Yeah, sometimes magma buildup
41:03
causes vents to break out. He
41:05
doesn't need any of this. He
41:07
just needs to know if you
41:09
touch the carpet is in fact
41:11
lava. And if you touch it,
41:13
your foot will melt. You can
41:16
just you can understand lava before
41:18
plate tectonics. That's what I'm going
41:20
for gold, wasn't it, with Henry
41:22
Kelly. Play tectonics for four points.
41:24
Will you play your pass? So,
41:26
it's not the evening now, so
41:28
you know, it's sort of, you
41:31
know, it's bathtime, bedtime, all this
41:33
stuff. And Willie needed a nap,
41:35
so I put him on the
41:37
carrier, which actually really hurt. I
41:39
haven't got it right, and it
41:41
makes my back really ache, but
41:43
I don't talk about that. Because
41:46
at the moment, Jamie has to,
41:48
I can't put Ian to sleep.
41:50
He's just not interested in me
41:52
for that. So I went for
41:54
a while. Well, now before I
41:56
went for a walk, I made
41:58
one of those quite like, this
42:01
podcast is brought in by quite
42:03
like really good. Chili. sweet chili
42:05
chicken stir fry would never make
42:07
it if I hadn't with some
42:09
really fresh vegetables so I made
42:11
that with Willie in the carrier
42:13
and try to avoid hot oil
42:16
and things so you're wearing on
42:18
him you're wearing him like I'm
42:20
wearing a baby yeah yeah yeah
42:22
yeah like the young people wear
42:24
a bumbag over the shoulder under
42:26
the armpit he's high you could
42:28
kisses the top of his head.
42:31
Love it. Love it. Where he
42:33
needs to be. Yeah, so I
42:35
made that stir fry. I ate
42:37
mine at the table. Jamie ate
42:39
her by the bath with Ian.
42:41
So that's what happened. Yeah, I
42:44
do you, it's difficult though to
42:46
get past the shame of not
42:48
having made an actual recipe from
42:50
an actual recipe book using actual
42:52
things you bought from the supermarket
42:54
and instead just a box has
42:56
been delivered like just the most
42:59
environmentally inefficient possible way of making
43:01
people feel like they're cooking. Whereas
43:03
all they're doing is assembling an
43:05
air fix and thinking that they're
43:07
a fucking. World War pilots? There's
43:09
no waste, so that's good. Everything
43:11
is recyclable in the packaging that
43:14
it comes in. And it does
43:16
mean you just don't, I just
43:18
make a bolognese. Yeah. I don't,
43:20
this is the sort of aggression
43:22
I got from Dave about the
43:24
mozzarella, but I'm hearing from you.
43:26
I would never make a sweet
43:29
chili chicken stir fry, I just
43:31
wouldn't even cross my mind. It's
43:33
so easy! Well I know it's
43:35
easy now. Yeah. I can if
43:37
you ever need to know how
43:39
to make a burrito from a
43:41
ragu I could also give you
43:44
the various recipes that above that
43:46
okay great so we've had a
43:48
walk I went for a walk
43:50
because Willie likes a walk so
43:52
Jamie's putting Ian down I'm taking
43:54
Willie Rushton for a walk nice
43:56
I call my friend Anna we
43:59
have a nice chat can I
44:01
ask here so you do so
44:03
Willie is two weeks So he's
44:05
just lying there in a tiny
44:07
pram type of thing I'm imagining,
44:09
or do you have him in
44:11
the... No, I'm still, I'm still
44:14
got him. I'm still holding him.
44:16
He's still like, because then, you
44:18
know, he's still attached to me.
44:20
So it's like I'm going for
44:22
a walk with a five kilo
44:24
bag of sugar on my chest.
44:27
You know, so I'm like SAS,
44:29
I'm like Aunt Middleton. Yeah. Walking
44:31
through the dappled sunlight of Melbourne's
44:33
in a north. Wow. good you
44:35
know so brother beyond that kind
44:37
of stuff who good pop hits
44:39
who told us like this is
44:42
almost word for word the same
44:44
is jember James Buckley tried to
44:46
tell us that when football was
44:48
good yeah and just it's like
44:50
the classic it's more a classic
44:52
old person argument like I had
44:54
this with my dad who has
44:57
forever told me how football used
44:59
to be because it was it
45:01
was shoulder barges and men shaking
45:03
hands at full-time and then they
45:05
colorized the 1966 World Cup and
45:07
they showed there's a legendary semi-final
45:09
where a man is sent off
45:12
and refuses to leave the pitch
45:14
might be the quarterfinal and he's
45:16
just standing there shaking his head
45:18
and everyone he's been fouling people
45:20
for the whole match and then
45:22
people have been diving and pretending
45:24
they're injured and I'm like dad
45:27
is this Is this the Avalon?
45:29
Is this the Nirvana that you've
45:31
spoken of for so many years?
45:33
This is, while entertaining, it's shit.
45:35
No, you're so right about, I
45:37
mean, music has always been good
45:39
and bad for every decade. I'm
45:42
just stuck in that particular decade,
45:44
right? So I get back with
45:46
Willie and Jamie has put Ian
45:48
down, I get home, I get
45:50
on the Zoom call for Football
45:52
Weekly, still with Willie in the
45:54
carrier. Jamie's just managed Put Ian
45:57
down, I then have to give
45:59
her another child who's now crying,
46:01
she looks bereft. And then I
46:03
do a part, then I do
46:05
football weekly and then I talk.
46:07
one of the yes it is
46:10
amazing how because I I probably
46:12
listened to that football weekly and
46:14
this so you've had four hours
46:16
of sleep in the first in
46:18
bracket one and they haven't been
46:20
good hours you then had out
46:22
you then had a sad sleep
46:25
that you woke up sad from
46:27
And yet you can just turn
46:29
it on. It's incredible. What you
46:31
do. I am in awe of
46:33
you, Max. And I realize that
46:35
this is just podcasting. It's not
46:37
real. But not enough people say,
46:40
well done, Max. All I do
46:42
through the day, I think. I
46:44
know that everything is showbiz. And...
46:46
The funny thing was, when I
46:48
got on the Zoom call for
46:50
football weekly, I'd had Willie on
46:52
my chest so much, it was
46:55
so wet my t-shirt, and I
46:57
had no idea if it was
46:59
sweat or piss. I just didn't
47:01
know, but, you know... Do you
47:03
remember the era in the 90s
47:05
or 2000s where footballers would go
47:07
vicks and rub it on their
47:10
jerseys so that the mental mint
47:12
would open their airways? I thought
47:14
you were going to talk about
47:16
those global hypercolor t-color, when you
47:18
got hot. That's terrible. Everyone at
47:20
Awn Towers. Everyone at Awn Towers
47:22
is wearing them. That's a terrible
47:25
idea. You just, you could see
47:27
where you were sweaty. Obviously, you,
47:29
Mr. Nodeodran, probably don't sweat. Do
47:31
you not sweat? That hasn't, that
47:33
hasn't worked well for other people.
47:35
I thought you were going into
47:37
a drummer when t-shirts were better.
47:40
Then what happened? Then I had
47:42
a Google teams meet with one
47:44
of my bosses from the Guardian.
47:46
We had a nice chat about
47:48
stuff. And then it must have
47:50
been nearly 10 o'clock. Brush my
47:53
teeth. Yeah. How do we go
47:55
to bed? Amazing. Straight out. Are
47:57
we just bang? Is it head
47:59
hits the pillow? Good night. No,
48:01
because I think really was awake
48:03
and Jamie was awake So I
48:05
couldn't tell you I might have
48:08
had to change a nappy. Yeah,
48:10
what happens is it all becomes
48:12
a blur of Just you're just
48:14
trying to I think it was
48:16
that it was on the last
48:18
step Martin, which I really I
48:20
I'd listen to, I don't listen
48:23
back all the time because I'm
48:25
sure they're all great, but I
48:27
did listen. And when he was
48:29
talking about, you know, when you
48:31
go for a wee in the
48:33
middle of the night, you have
48:35
to, you have to be awake
48:38
enough to deliver the wee, but
48:40
no more awake. That's sort of
48:42
what you're doing. When I'm changing
48:44
Willie's nappy, I'm not awake, but
48:46
I'm awake enough that I don't,
48:48
exactly when I fell asleep. Yeah,
48:50
that's a, I have heard just
48:53
this past week, I don't have
48:55
many nappy facts, Max, but right,
48:57
there was, someone was saying, if
48:59
you could please when you change
49:01
a nappy, tip the shite into
49:03
the toilet and then ball up
49:05
the nappy, that would vastly reduce
49:08
the amount of landfill that nappies
49:10
take up, but I suspect that
49:12
might just be the little thing
49:14
that would wake you up too
49:16
much. to tips. I don't mean
49:18
that. It's just, I mean, my
49:21
thoughts are, hey, Willie's not really
49:23
producing a, you know, a Nish
49:25
Kumar at this stage, right? You
49:27
know, and I think I understand
49:29
the point and we all need
49:31
to do more. But like, telling
49:33
a sleep-deprived parent, this is when
49:36
sustainability comes in, it's just, just
49:38
feels like, I'm not saying it's
49:40
wrong. But I'm just not thinking
49:42
about separating the shit from the
49:44
nappy at 3.21am. And like, and
49:46
I apologize for that. The bigger
49:48
issue is, because you're all so
49:51
tired at that house all the
49:53
time, the fact that all four
49:55
of you wear nappies are there...
49:57
and just during the night fire
49:59
them out onto the street. Drop
50:01
kick them into the neighbors. What
50:03
we do, actually now, what we
50:06
do is we just, every morning,
50:08
I just, I've had purpose built
50:10
a number of nappies that are
50:12
basically the floor plan of our
50:14
house. And then we all just
50:16
walk around. defecating into it and
50:18
then at the end of the
50:21
day I just roll it all
50:23
up and then just yeah you're
50:25
right and then we into next
50:27
door neighbors. No we send it
50:29
to Darrow Rian and he throws
50:31
it directly at Richard Osman's wood
50:33
though. Exactly right. Hey what's good
50:36
is because we've always said these
50:38
EPS should be about 25 minutes
50:40
half an hour is once again
50:42
we're approaching the hour mark of
50:44
this. But I think we've covered
50:46
a lot of bases. Yeah, I've
50:48
enjoyed this one now. Me too.
50:51
It's been a nice, we haven't
50:53
had a window into your life
50:55
for a while, like with me
50:57
it's all glamour, it's touring, it's
50:59
me and Omar Sharif playing bridge
51:01
in Dickey Boes after a gig
51:04
somewhere, you know what my life
51:06
is like, whereas your life just
51:08
revolves around turds and sleep. I
51:10
mean, the real honest thing is,
51:12
this is my social life. Right?
51:14
This is, you know, this is
51:16
my evening, this is my social
51:19
life. I don't see anybody, you
51:21
know? This is it. And it's
51:23
good, I need this. I think
51:25
this is probably really good for
51:27
my, you know, my mental well-being.
51:29
Well, I'm very happy to be
51:31
part of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
51:34
of us. I mean, you're taking
51:36
care of, you've been to the
51:38
hip groin man, and now I'm
51:40
the hip brain man. That's how
51:42
I think of myself. If you
51:44
would like to get in touch
51:46
with what did you do yesterday,
51:49
while the music from the recently
51:51
deceased people on Shannon Side FM
51:53
plays, Max will tell you how
51:55
to get in touch. To get
51:57
in touch with the show, you
51:59
can email us at what did
52:01
you do? yesterday pod@gmail.com. Follow us
52:04
on Instagram at yesterday pod and
52:06
please subscribe and leave a review
52:08
if you liked it on your
52:10
preferred podcast platform and if you
52:12
didn't please don't. Remember if you
52:14
want to guess the we're on
52:16
a three cheese board now and
52:19
that is very exciting. It's a
52:21
three cheese board and... What does
52:23
that mean? It means there's three
52:25
left to guess. There's three left
52:27
to guess. Cash Out Blue, Manchago,
52:29
they're there. You know, they're in
52:31
the, they're in the, they're in
52:34
the, obviously you have to guess
52:36
on iTunes, you have to give
52:38
us a five star review. And
52:40
if you don't guess Cash Out
52:42
Blue and Manchago, one and two,
52:44
it is void. That's the only
52:47
way you can post your guess
52:49
and we will get there. It's
52:51
going to be immense. One of
52:53
the greatest anti-flyvaxes, I'd say. Like
52:55
it's not like we have even
52:57
a sting to play or anything.
52:59
No. That'll just be a solemn
53:02
nod from both of us, a
53:04
shake of the hand. And yeah,
53:06
you can send five star review
53:08
or also if you just write
53:10
a check for a grand made
53:12
out to me and Max, you
53:14
can write your guesses on the
53:17
back of that. I would catch
53:19
it. Thank you very much for
53:21
this lovely social hour we've had
53:23
together Max and the listeners for
53:25
listening. Hey thanks David yeah and
53:27
we'll be back with a guest
53:29
on so who knows who but
53:32
we'll be back with a guest
53:34
presumably booked again by me on
53:36
Sunday morning. Bye!
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