0:01

I never told no one that my

0:03

whole life I've been holding back . Every

0:06

time I load my gun up so I can shoot

0:08

for the star , I hear a voice like

0:10

who ?

0:10

do you think you are another dollar ? Another

0:13

one of my favorite episodes . I'm biased , it's

0:15

my own podcast . What if it did work

0:17

? I've got with me a

0:21

woman that has a PhD

0:23

. Look at that . Not only a PhD

0:25

in results , but an actual

0:27

PhD , a professor , amanda

0:30

Kanderis , professor of interdisciplinary

0:33

studies . That's a wordy word right there

0:36

.

0:36

Interdisciplinary . I know , I know that

0:38

has too many syllables .

0:39

Yeah , exactly , I've got two

0:41

degrees in communication . I only

0:43

have that eighth grade level to

0:45

communicate with people .

0:47

Sometimes that helps .

0:50

She holds a PhD in social

0:52

science , comparative education , from the

0:54

Graduate School of Education and

0:56

information studies at

0:58

the University of California , los Angeles

1:00

. It sounds cooler saying it that way . She

1:04

grew up in North and South

1:06

America . You are worldwide

1:08

Asia , africa , europe

1:11

. I think the only continent missing

1:14

is Australia , so

1:16

you got to have you at least visited

1:18

there .

1:20

No , it's on my bucket list

1:22

.

1:22

Well , definitely . Well , amanda wrote

1:24

an amazing book , since she's

1:26

an expert at communication how

1:29

what we say reveals

1:32

who we are talk

1:34

types Interesting

1:37

, interesting . This

1:39

is coming from a severe introvert , so

1:41

let's discuss communications

1:43

. How's it going ?

1:46

Are you the self-proclaimed severe introvert ? So let's discuss communications .

1:48

How's it going ? Are you ? Are you the self-proclaimed severe introvert ? Well , here I'll let you in on

1:50

a little secret . Yeah , for sure , I my

1:53

tedx talk . I was

1:55

such an introvert . I grew up , I was an only

1:57

child , so single parent

1:59

, and I was brown in

2:01

south florida , so they they didn't

2:03

realize that Hispanics were

2:05

born here too it was very

2:08

very southern back then and

2:11

I wouldn't talk . So they're like oh

2:13

, this kid Omar , we need

2:15

to put him in ESOL English for

2:17

Speakers of Another Language . And it wasn't

2:20

until like second or third

2:22

grade . Like , oh my gosh , this guy's

2:24

speaking without , without

2:26

an accent . We're doing an amazing job

2:28

, so that's um , I'm a gay public

2:31

school system for you . So either

2:33

they you know , as you can tell , either I

2:35

was born here or they really did

2:37

an amazing job getting rid of my

2:40

. So , yeah , no , I was um , severe

2:43

, severe introvert . I I literally

2:45

moved out of , I

2:47

went to lsu because I thought

2:49

miami , sucked , I'm like I have to

2:51

leave this place . And then , when you're

2:53

an introvert , you I came to

2:55

the conclusion it wasn't , it wasn't there

2:58

or it wasn't here , it was me . So

3:00

, yeah , yeah , no , definitely . So when you

3:02

talk about

3:04

let me hear the

3:06

, let's hear the origins , like that extrovert

3:10

life of the party , your family

3:12

, everybody , communication skills

3:15

up the wazoo . It was like Ward Cleaver

3:17

and June Cleaver and everybody just

3:19

broke , broke out , or

3:21

no , no , not at all

3:23

.

3:24

Broke out or no , no , not at all . I would probably be

3:26

closer to the extreme introvert , like you

3:28

. Um , for what it's worth

3:30

, Although now , you

3:33

know , as a , as a professor , and

3:35

you know , I'm

3:45

always in front of large groups of people talking . I teach public speaking

3:47

, you know , and now people see me at a social event

3:49

. You might think I'm the life of the party , but I'm

3:51

, and then I'm an extrovert . It's just not true

3:53

. But the origins

3:56

of this book ? So

3:58

, as you mentioned , I grew up around

4:00

the world and

4:03

that meant every three

4:05

years or so , moving to a new continent

4:07

. And

4:09

for a kid , you

4:11

know , and kids thrive on stability . I know I'm

4:13

a , I'm a parent too . That's

4:18

a lot of change , you

4:20

know , every three years .

4:23

Moving from one thing is like moving like to another . You know , every three years Not only

4:25

did you move , but you like one

4:27

thing is like moving like to

4:29

another state . Yeah , I

4:32

mean , yeah , we're quirky and all that

4:34

throughout the United States , but to move to a different

4:36

country with different customs and

4:40

different even dialect and just

4:42

everything completely different than what

4:44

we're used to .

4:46

Completely different , from weather

4:49

, to language , to religion

4:51

, political system

4:53

, culture , I mean all

4:55

of it . So

4:57

, yeah , um

5:16

, what ? What this did for me is it ? It put me in a position where I had to I guess I didn't have

5:18

to but to to make any good , have a good experience . Wherever I was , I

5:22

um realized that

5:25

I would need to learn how to connect quickly , because I didn't have years

5:27

in any one place to develop long-term

5:29

relationships . I had to

5:31

dive right in , and so

5:33

that made me , by default , a student

5:35

of communication , just

5:38

in my environment . Because

5:40

I looked at okay , well , if I need

5:42

to connect quickly , how

5:44

do we connect ? Well , it's through talk , it's

5:46

through communicating . That's how we connect with people

5:48

.

5:52

We talk to them . What was the news , though ? Were you an

5:54

army brat , military brat , embassy

5:57

, embassy ? Yeah

6:03

, wow , so you're in a little microcosm

6:06

. You were technically on US

6:08

land , us soil , whatever , that is

6:10

no we

6:12

weren't on a military base .

6:14

We were living amongst

6:17

the locals .

6:18

OK , so you weren't like in

6:21

the US embassy of whichever

6:23

country , then Correct .

6:25

We would , you

6:28

know , to get to work

6:30

, to get to the embassy . You know

6:32

my dad who worked there would have to drive

6:42

, you know , drive to the embassy . There

6:44

was no compound , that we were all in a bubble . So

6:56

, being that there was no bubble , I had to really

6:58

dive into everything around me , the culture , the language

7:00

, the food , I mean everything and so I wanted to understand how to connect

7:02

quickly , and that

7:04

quickly morphed into a whole bunch of other questions . So for me , I would try

7:07

a certain kind of conversation

7:09

with somebody . My preference as

7:11

a kid I loved the deep talks . I

7:13

wanted to know the meaning of life

7:15

. I wanted to

7:18

know what happiness

7:21

was . I wanted to know

7:23

why there was suffering

7:25

. I

7:27

wanted to know all that and

7:29

I

7:32

would . I figured well , let's skip the small talk

7:34

. This is how I started out . Let's

7:36

just skip the small talk and cut to the chase

7:38

. I love the deep talk and

7:40

I guess I just assumed everybody would like

7:43

it . But the reason that they didn't , maybe

7:45

people weren't engaging in the deep talk around

7:47

me and my observations

7:49

was because maybe they weren't brave

7:51

enough to go there , but they really liked it too , peers

8:08

or and adults . So I here I am in elementary school

8:10

trying this out . It's

8:13

not going over super well with the kids in the playground , it's not going

8:15

over super well with my teachers or coaches or bus drivers and , um , and

8:17

so you know , I start asking

8:20

other questions like why isn't this working

8:22

? And

8:24

not that it never worked , I mean

8:27

sometimes it did and that led to new questions

8:29

. Um , why is it that we're different

8:31

? Why does it work sometimes and not other times

8:33

? Um , why do we have different

8:35

senses of humor ? Why

8:38

is it that we

8:40

can walk into a room , connect

8:44

with somebody with

8:46

virtually no effort and

8:49

we can lose track of time ? For an hour we

8:51

can just make

8:53

conversation and be engaged , but with somebody

8:56

else , it takes work to

8:58

think of things to say . Why

9:02

do we have different tastes in movies , books

9:04

, podcasts , I mean anything that communication

9:07

touches , which is all language

9:10

and even non-language

9:12

, non-verbals , paralanguage

9:15

music

9:19

? We

9:22

all have a different taste . Sometimes

9:24

there's overlap and sometimes there's not , but

9:27

it just didn't make sense to me . If

9:29

this person was easy to talk to for

9:32

me , why weren't they easy to talk to

9:34

for somebody else ? Aren't

9:36

they just easy to talk to ? Why

9:38

is that person having such a hard time

9:40

talking to them ? Why , if this

9:43

joke is funny , why to them ? Why don't

9:45

I find it funny ? So I just

9:47

went on for years with

9:49

these questions , believing

9:52

if I kept at it I could come

9:54

to some sort of answers . And

9:58

uh , ultimately the book is . Is

10:01

is my set of answers , but

10:03

it took me over 30 years well

10:06

, it's 30 years of experience , you

10:09

.

10:09

You needed the 30 years to be able to write it

10:11

, to be an expert , and it it . I

10:13

know we live in a social media age where

10:15

a life coach can be a 21 year old

10:17

kid . That's right . That's

10:20

right , you know . You

10:22

know we're taught that you can just be a guru

10:24

overnight . You know it's not

10:27

about the experience and

10:29

not about the years in service , but

10:31

clearly I mean personally

10:35

all the books out there in communication

10:38

. You said it best All

10:40

those years . It's

10:43

not like you went on AI and

10:45

like you know , chat , gpt oh

10:47

, let's , let's try to be , or

10:50

let me pay a guru some money

10:52

so I can be a communication

10:55

expert . Yeah , you literally had

10:57

to put in all those years to become

10:59

a communication expert . Yeah

11:02

, the

11:05

top of the thing , though , the

11:08

talk type identifies

11:10

three core reasons . People

11:12

talk . Literally

11:15

. To me , I just thought communication

11:17

was to

11:19

connect . So clearly , you know

11:21

I was off on that . What are the three core reasons

11:24

why we do talk ?

11:27

Well , so I'll

11:29

respond to that

11:31

with a couple of things . I

11:33

think I don't think you're wrong . I think we do

11:35

talk to connect , but

11:38

we connect differently and

11:40

we connect and

11:43

we connect and we talk for different

11:45

reasons . So

11:49

I'll back up

11:51

. In all of these years of investigation

11:53

, I

11:56

realized I came to understand

11:58

that really there are only two

12:00

fundamental reasons that people talk

12:02

and I'll show

12:04

you how I get to three . But

12:07

we start out with two , and that

12:09

is that the only things that

12:11

people ever talk

12:13

about . We

12:18

talk or reasons we talk to share our understanding , or we talk

12:20

to share our experience . And

12:23

that's it . Nothing

12:26

lies outside of that . But

12:30

because our understanding

12:33

can be objective or

12:35

subjective , we end up with three

12:37

reasons for talking . So

12:40

I know that's kind of wordy and

12:42

I can break it down , but those are the three

12:44

reasons we talk . We

12:46

talk to be objectively understood , subjectively

12:49

understood , or to be

12:51

heard , which is to share our experiences

12:53

. Those

12:55

are our three motivations and

12:58

when we rank those by preference , we

13:00

get six talk types and everybody on

13:03

the planet is one of these six talk types . By

13:05

preference , we get six talk types and everybody

13:07

on the planet is one of these six talk types

13:09

. And

13:11

the reason for finally I could see these answers the reason we

13:13

connect more easily with some versus others , and the reason that

13:15

that's different for each person . It

13:18

depends on how closely our talk types are aligned

13:20

. And if they're aligned , then

13:23

we're going to share the same talk goals and

13:27

our conversation is going to go smoothly and effortlessly

13:29

. But if we're trying to , if

13:33

we're trying to communicate and trying to connect , but

13:35

we have differing goals , it's

13:37

like trying to get somewhere in the car by

13:39

both pushing the gas and the brake . Eventually

13:44

we'll probably get somewhere , but it'll take

13:47

work .

13:50

So a person's talk type , if

13:53

it's like-minded people sharing

13:57

, I don't know whether it's the , you're

14:00

you , you're

14:02

a professor . So undergrads

14:05

, let's say fraternity brothers

14:07

, they have the similar

14:09

fraternity

14:11

or sorority or any group .

14:14

Sure .

14:14

A million groups out there on every college

14:16

campus . It's

14:19

easier to talk and communicate

14:21

because your talk types are similar , because

14:23

they're like-minded people

14:25

in the same organization , or

14:28

it's not that simple

14:30

well , that's

14:32

what I would refer to as the more

14:35

.

14:35

That's the outdated model , that's what we've been

14:37

taught for years is

14:39

that similarity in

14:41

culture , religion

14:45

, hobbies , even

14:47

language , invariably

14:51

produces connection . But

14:53

that's just not the case . I mean , a simple

14:56

illustration would

14:58

be to think of okay , if

15:01

you've gone to college most

15:03

people you

15:05

know can relate to this you

15:07

go to college . What about your college

15:10

major ? If , if , if , similarities

15:12

in our hobbies or our interests Automatically

15:17

make us connect better , well then we'd

15:19

be best friends with everybody who you

15:21

know who's in our college major . And we're not

15:23

not at all . It

15:25

just doesn't make sense . We're

15:30

not not at all . It just doesn't make sense . So that's not , that's not . That's what we used to believe

15:32

and many of us probably still do , but it just doesn't , it doesn't add

15:35

up . So this

15:38

might help , let me . Let me break down

15:40

the definitions and give us some examples

15:42

. So

15:53

we've got our three reasons for um , for talking so objective

15:55

. We want to share objective , um , understanding . That's uh , anything factual

15:57

, factual talk . So

16:00

, whether that's oh , it's uh , how

16:02

, what ? How warm is it outside

16:04

right now ? Do I need to bring a jacket ? It's 75

16:07

. Oh , okay , well , but it'll get down

16:09

to 60 . So , yeah , you might want to bring a

16:11

sweater . Okay , it's

16:13

just facts . Those

16:18

are pretty light , but it could get deeper . I mean we could talk

16:20

about the origins of the universe . Deep

16:23

facts Either way , it's

16:25

still facts . That's

16:28

an objective understanding we're sharing

16:30

. You know , I'm talking to be understood

16:33

and I'm listening to

16:35

understand objectively

16:37

. If

16:40

we skip to C , so I call these A , b and C

16:42

. So A is factual . If we skip to

16:44

C , that's subjective understanding . It's

16:47

understanding too . It's understanding too . It's just subjective

16:49

. So some things we can't measure

16:51

objectively , I can measure the

16:54

temperature with a thermometer or

16:56

some other higher

17:00

tech way of measuring weather , right , but

17:03

some things I can't measure . If I say

17:05

I had a really wonderful

17:07

childhood or I had

17:09

a really tough childhood , that's

17:12

my understanding and

17:15

you know you can't argue with it . That's

17:17

my understanding , that's my takeaway . But

17:20

it's subjective . So

17:22

that's the deep stuff . You know , when

17:25

we talk about the meaning of life , well , there

17:27

is no objective meaning of life . So

17:29

that's the . Those are the deep sea . Deep

17:32

sea talks and

17:34

it doesn't have to be all the time super

17:36

deep . It can be a light sea , it can be something

17:39

like you know what it was , it's

17:41

been so nice living next to

17:43

you , you know , dear neighbor , for

17:46

10 years . But I got it . My

17:48

company's moving . I got to go with it . I'm really going

17:50

to miss you . You've been such a great neighbor

17:52

. That's

17:54

also a subjective understanding . I'm

17:57

sharing my understanding . It's basically a

18:00

bunch of experiences

18:04

or facts and

18:07

I put them together in a conclusion

18:09

. I draw a conclusion . That's

18:11

my understanding . And

18:14

a deep understanding requires a lot of connections

18:16

between points and a light understanding just

18:18

requires a few . That's

18:21

A and C factual stuff

18:24

, and then the deep Factual stuff and

18:27

then the deep , heartfelt stuff . B is the personal experience

18:30

. I'm

18:34

sharing subjective , personal experience . That's going to be something like

18:36

oh

18:40

, how was your weekend ? Did you have fun ? What

18:42

did you do ? Did you

18:44

like the movie ? What

18:47

was your favorite part ? You know ? Oh , here's a picture

18:49

of my kids on my

18:51

phone . Look at them in their you

18:53

know their little outfits . Aren't they so

18:55

cute ? This is

18:57

just . This is subjective experience

19:00

. It's not meant to draw

19:02

any conclusions , it's just

19:04

meant to . When somebody

19:06

talks in B , they're

19:08

trying to be heard , they want to witness for

19:12

what they're saying . They're

19:14

not trying to draw any deeper connections , it's just

19:16

to be heard , to be seen , heard and felt

19:18

, not to be understood , just

19:21

to be seen , heard and felt . And

19:24

um , and that's B . So

19:26

these are

19:28

the three reasons we

19:30

talk and we

19:32

tend to have a favorite and

19:35

a second favorite and

19:38

then the third one , which is

19:40

different for each of us . The third one

19:42

we tend to not like

19:45

much and not do much at all

19:47

. Some people don't do C much

19:49

, some people don't do A much , some people

19:51

don't do B much . It

19:53

differs for each of us .

19:55

I figured personal experience would

19:58

be huge for a lot of people because

20:00

significance Look

20:04

at me , look at what my

20:06

child's doing , look

20:08

at what I did this

20:11

past weekend . Do you want to see pictures

20:13

of my trip ? Do you want to

20:15

hear my opinion

20:17

about my

20:20

weekend , my experience , I

20:23

mean , that's what's huge about social media is

20:25

. You know , we people just want

20:28

to be seen . People want

20:31

that personal experience .

20:34

We do . But

20:36

but here's the thing With

20:40

social media or

20:42

with anything storytelling people think storytelling

20:44

is is in the B domain

20:47

. Like , I'm going to share my experience

20:49

of my weekend or my trip to Disneyland

20:52

or my whatever , but

20:54

I can tell

20:56

a story in A , b or C

20:58

. I can tell a joke in A , b

21:01

or C . I can put a post

21:03

on Instagram or Facebook in

21:05

A , b or C , post

21:14

on Instagram or Facebook in A , b or C . So the medium doesn't matter and

21:16

the actual activity doesn't matter whether we're joking . This is what's so mind-blowing

21:18

to me about it is that it

21:22

takes us away from the years

21:24

of history and training

21:26

that we've been taught that

21:29

you know . We even call it

21:31

social media , as though it's

21:36

meant to share our experiences

21:38

. But it doesn't have to . It could share

21:40

our understanding and ultimately

21:43

, understanding is a collection of

21:45

experiences and information

21:47

. It's just how we express

21:50

it and why we express it that

21:52

differs , but it differs significantly

21:55

enough that it

21:57

produces these six distinct talk types

21:59

now

22:01

, do you think , just on a basic level , we just

22:03

throw everything to your stereotypical

22:06

?

22:07

well , let's , let's

22:10

just try to connect , ie

22:14

the easiest form of selling

22:16

. You enter someone's room

22:18

and they have pictures of disney

22:21

world , let's say their family vacation

22:24

in disney world . They have a poster

22:26

of the House of Mouse . They

22:28

might have a quote of Walt

22:30

Disney , roy Disney , who knows Something

22:33

like that and go , oh , oh , my

22:35

gosh , you really like I see you're a

22:37

connoisseur of Disney World . I

22:40

love it myself . I've been there so many times

22:42

, you know it's . I just

22:44

was so blessed to live in Florida and

22:46

be able to go there , and my mom

22:49

took me to Disneyland and I've been at Euro

22:51

Disney . Yeah , on

22:54

a basic level , you know , we're

22:57

the connection , or the when

22:59

you say stereotypes , especially like

23:01

you've lived all over the world , so

23:09

you know , oh , italians , but you have to talk loud and you

23:11

have to move your hands and and that's for italian , americans , or you know , if you're

23:14

in rome or you're , you're in venice , venice

23:16

, italy , not venice . So socal

23:18

like that , and we just

23:20

that's that trigger . Oh , you have to be very

23:22

emotional . Yeah , that's

23:25

just surface , surface bs

23:27

, because we just want to , we

23:30

just want to compartmentalize , compartment , put

23:33

everything in a little box and say , well

23:35

, amongst this person , we , we

23:37

should be this way instead of

23:39

just . There's a lot more communication

23:42

than just trying to be a used car salesman

23:44

or connect on a well , well

23:47

, he , he must like baseball . So let's talk

23:49

about baseball .

23:51

Well , if we're doing sales , let's say , and we're

23:53

going into somebody's house and we're meeting them for

23:55

the first time and we see

23:57

Mickey mouse everywhere , it's probably

23:59

in our best interest to connect

24:01

with what we have available

24:04

to us which is Mickey mouse . Um , so we

24:06

have available to us which is Mickey

24:08

Mouse , so we have to use . You know , we

24:10

have no choice but to use the content that is

24:13

around us . But when

24:16

, in your example , you started off

24:18

with some B and then you moved into

24:20

C actually and let me

24:22

just give you the nicknames

24:24

, that might be easier Um , and

24:26

I'll finish that thought . But

24:29

a is informing

24:32

the factual stuff

24:34

, b is relating , the

24:37

interpersonal

24:39

stuff , and

24:49

C is meeting , making the deep stuff . So you started out relating and then you got to meaning

24:51

making . So you started out by saying , oh , look at all that Disneyland . Um , I'm , I'm Disneyland over

24:53

here . You're Disney world . Um , look at all that

24:55

Disney world . That was a joke

24:57

. Um , look

25:00

at all that Disney world stuff . Uh

25:03

, I love Disney world . Okay , the you

25:05

know when . When you start doing that , I love

25:08

Disney World , okay , you know when you start doing that , basically

25:10

you're saying I

25:16

can relate to that , I like that , I know that that's relating , that's B . Then you moved

25:18

into C and you said you know what I feel really blessed that I get to live in Florida and be

25:20

so close to that and that you know that's

25:22

C . Now you moved into C . So

25:25

I watched you just in that example

25:27

C . Now you moved into C . So I watched you

25:30

just in that example start with B and move into

25:32

C . I

25:39

don't know what your talk type is , but whatever it is , it's a reminder that just because

25:41

we might have a particular talk type doesn't mean we can't do the other

25:43

letters , so to speak . We can and

25:45

we do . It's just we might get tired

25:47

if we have to do one that's not our

25:49

favorite . If we have to do that for a long time

25:51

, we'll probably get tired .

25:54

So A would be like if I threw

25:56

something like

25:58

well , what Walt did was

26:01

he bankrolled . Walt Disney

26:03

bankrolled all his money into his dream

26:05

project , which was Disneyland

26:07

out in anaheim , and nobody actually

26:09

believed in it , not even bob hope . Nobody

26:12

would want to invest in it . But

26:14

he invested in himself and

26:16

look what we have now . We have one of

26:18

the world's largest corporations and

26:21

it's something like that

26:23

.

26:23

That would be a right yeah , so that would be A

26:25

with C undertones .

26:29

Well , c because I glorified

26:32

instead of just saying well in 1950-whatever

26:36

. 57 , 58

26:38

, disneyland opened up to the

26:40

public in Anaheim . That would be A .

26:43

Yeah , and you could still attach meaning to it in

26:45

A , but it would be done differently . So

26:51

instead of saying you know what ?

26:52

and nobody believed that you're getting C . You know , nobody

26:54

believed in them . I think I'm more like a C

26:56

, like maybe it's , I don't know whether it's the mass communication

26:58

, the two degrees in journalism , podcasting

27:02

, maybe being an only child and having to entertain

27:04

myself . Child and having to entertain myself , Maybe

27:06

that .

27:07

Well , you know , we , we , we

27:10

develop . I

27:17

don't I develop isn't even maybe the right , the right word for it but our talk type preferences are

27:19

evident early on and they

27:21

definitely seem to be something that isn't

27:24

formed by our environment , that they

27:27

are innate , that we're

27:29

basically born with them . Siblings

27:32

often have different talk types , parents have different

27:34

talk types from one another , and

27:36

we can often fit in

27:38

our home environment or

27:41

not , or we can have

27:45

a better communication , more aligned , with one

27:47

parent or another , and

27:50

so , yeah , and there's nothing wrong

27:53

with one or another . I

27:56

certainly think C is

27:58

fantastic because it's

28:00

my dominant preference , it's my favorite

28:02

. So I love to do C talks whenever possible

28:04

. I love to talk about the meaning of

28:07

things , the significance , why

28:09

it matters . Uh

28:11

, and , and a dream about Disneyland

28:14

and people not believing in it

28:16

, and you know , underdog . And then , all of a

28:18

sudden , you know , look at what it is today .

28:20

That's an inspiring story about meaning

28:22

Um , but

28:25

not everybody gets

28:27

into that , believe it or not , you

28:30

know um , some people it

28:32

makes uncomfortable to talk too much about

28:34

meaning um

28:37

yeah

28:39

, wouldn't a , though , like if you're

28:42

always like , oh my gosh , this guy

28:44

must be like a regular Ken Jennings

28:46

oh , mr Jeopardy

28:48

, always , you know , mr Encyclopedia

28:50

Brown here , yeah , I

28:53

would think A would probably be , just

28:56

because we

28:58

are so dumbed down , like

29:01

literally , especially when I told you I've

29:04

got two degrees in dumbing

29:06

down things and let's

29:08

do one or two syllable , so

29:18

to me I would probably think I would never go

29:20

with A because , oh my gosh , especially living in the South , or I grew up in a working

29:22

class neighborhood , it wouldn't be like , oh

29:25

, look at this guy

29:27

trying to throw his

29:29

knowledge around . But

29:31

, yeah , I can see . But that's

29:33

just my personal , you

29:35

know , that's probably my sea talking

29:37

and wanting to go . Oh my gosh

29:40

, this guy came out of nowhere .

29:42

Right , right , right right , but that's and

29:44

that's OK . That just means that that's your

29:46

natural approach

29:48

to to life and each of us needs

29:50

all of us . I mean the world needs pretty

29:53

clearly it needs these three because

29:55

they're they're here and they've been here

29:58

. I mean we can take the talk type

30:00

lens and look

30:02

at literature that's been written , um you

30:05

know , hundreds or even thousands of years ago and still

30:07

see it . We can still say , oh , that's a

30:10

CB , ancient Greek play

30:12

or that's . You

30:14

know , they've

30:16

existed for thousands of years . We

30:19

have to , I think , believe

30:23

on some level that there's a purpose

30:25

or they serve a function .

30:27

You know what , speaking of literature , though , there's a purpose or they serve a function . You know what , speaking of literature , though , there's

30:29

this amazing book . It's written by

30:31

Amanda Kanderis , available

30:35

on Amazon , any

30:37

anywhere else . I know Barnes

30:39

and Noble . Barnes and Noble and Barnes and Noble

30:42

Buy it either

30:44

way , audible or audible . Audible

30:46

too , do you do it ? Yes , audible or Audible . Audible too , do you do it

30:48

? Yes , yes , I

30:51

read it . Okay , amanda . Well , after

30:53

we get off , that'll be my purchase

30:55

. I always am a believer

30:57

in listening to two books . I'm

31:00

a nonfiction guy . It's my C

31:02

. Yeah , no doubt , no doubt

31:04

. So , yeah , definitely , definitely

31:07

. I'll take a listen , talk

31:09

types , so continue

31:12

. I just wanted to throw a plug because we oh , yes

31:14

, yes . You know , to me , I'm

31:16

all about promotion , except

31:19

promoting myself , which is weird .

31:23

Well , yeah , no , I . You mentioned your TED Talk and I thought , well , gosh , I , somehow , yeah

31:26

, no , I I . Um , you mentioned your , your , your Ted

31:28

talk , and I thought , well , gosh , I somehow

31:31

. Um , yeah , I , I don't . It

31:33

seems very familiar . I wonder if I even

31:35

saw it without realizing that . Uh , what was the

31:37

topic ?

31:51

stereotypes . Okay , yeah , all right , I was , I was a stereotype and you know just that I love

31:53

it . I'm actually one of those that it's easier talking in

31:56

a room with strangers . Yeah , my

31:58

girlfriend was there . It was out in houston and

32:01

it would be talking

32:03

one-on-one yeah like

32:06

, um , even I was the

32:09

vice president of my fraternity

32:11

, it was always easier talking

32:13

to a group than oh my gosh

32:15

. Like you know , that's the

32:17

introvert in me , or the , the limiting

32:20

belief who wants to listen to me . So

32:22

, yeah , that probably that's why you know

32:25

the , the sea . Yeah , probably that's why you know the sea

32:27

of , oh my gosh , and

32:29

that's why you know I would you

32:31

know , when it comes to your introduction

32:34

or talking about you , amanda's been

32:36

everywhere . She lived in multiple countries

32:38

. She's lived in continents , she

32:45

has a PhD . Yes , these are factual , but you know

32:47

, it's like you , but it's like

32:49

you've lived everywhere . You've

32:52

seen cultures . You've seen the good

32:54

, the bad outside the United

32:57

States , especially since

32:59

we believe in the propaganda that if

33:02

it's not the United States , then what

33:04

the hell is it ? We

33:10

come off our cruises , our Mediterranean

33:12

cruises , and our little

33:14

scooters screaming USA

33:16

, usa , you better speak

33:18

English , you better , you

33:21

better have a Sbarro's , you better have a Pizza

33:23

Hut , you better have a Taco Bell , because we

33:25

are Americans , and

33:27

you know that . That's that's where , oh my gosh

33:29

, you know , those french people are such jerks

33:31

, or ? You know , yeah

33:34

, I always smirk when I went to . Well

33:36

, it's like , yeah , you go to new york and you start

33:38

screaming at someone in in japanese

33:40

or whatnot , demanding that right

33:43

, you follow their stuff and yeah they'll

33:45

, they'll look at you off putting

33:47

.

33:48

Right yeah , no

33:50

.

33:51

I love it .

33:57

So I just had to , I had to return the

33:59

favor , cause

34:02

I mean , it's it's , it really is , um , in communication

34:04

, it's about hearing

34:07

each other and understanding each other

34:09

, and that's a mutual

34:12

process .

34:15

It's hard because there's so good

34:17

disconnect when it comes to communication

34:19

. You and I were

34:21

a little older . We

34:25

actually had to speak to people . I mean

34:27

, we look at people now and you

34:29

see people out on a date , these

34:32

young people , they're across from each other

34:34

and they're not . They can't communicate . They're

34:37

texting each other back and forth . Yeah

34:39

, they don't even know whether the date's going

34:41

great , because it's lost in translation

34:44

. It's through a text , yeah

34:46

, I mean it's like it's right

34:50

?

34:51

Yeah , it's . It's definitely a different world

34:53

from when we grew up . Um , but

34:58

there

35:00

is that thread of consistency

35:02

from a talk type perspective

35:05

. The talk types have been , clearly

35:08

have been around for thousands of years

35:10

and

35:13

in

35:15

a world , in a universe that's

35:17

continually evolving

35:20

and we are Species

35:23

change . The brown fox

35:25

that lives in the forest

35:27

turns into a white fox

35:29

over time through deforestation

35:31

. Now the white fox is

35:33

the only one that survives because the forest has become

35:36

a desert , so

35:38

now the white fox can hide

35:40

in the sand . You know , the brown fox

35:42

gets eaten . Well , everything is

35:44

is evolving and it continues to

35:46

evolve and the things that

35:48

don't serve us disappear

35:50

. But the talk

35:53

types have been here for thousands of years .

35:55

They haven't disappeared , so

35:58

, and chances

36:01

are they're here to stay what I

36:03

love about your

36:05

book , your message is

36:07

and

36:10

people don't understand that communication

36:13

is what really ? If

36:15

you can understand someone's world , someone's

36:26

world , it's not just only selling , but the art of persuasion , the

36:28

art of not of understanding why someone thinks that way , yeah

36:31

, why someone's doing that action , instead

36:33

of just screaming they're

36:35

, they're wrong .

36:38

I'm right yeah

36:40

, no , absolutely , and we

36:42

don't take things personally Um once

36:45

we start to see so

36:48

, for example

36:50

, and and from

36:52

what I can tell from you , just

36:55

from from our , uh , you know , short time

36:57

, we've already talked . You seem like a

36:59

CB short

37:04

time we've already talked .

37:06

You seem like a cb seem like , oh , yeah , yeah , yeah

37:08

, definitely , you feel it . Oh for sure , okay , okay for

37:10

sure , yeah , oh , my gosh . Yeah , but with my personal even

37:13

, oh , personal experience , and you

37:15

know , if we were out

37:17

in the mediterranean , were in

37:19

Rome , in the Eternal City , I

37:22

would be just discussing , you

37:24

know just the amazing

37:26

. Can you believe that these Romans and Pompeii

37:29

had all this technology back then

37:31

to

37:33

build all this , to build the Colosseum

37:35

? And then , oh , oh , by the way , would

37:38

you like to see the pictures of my last time ?

37:39

Exactly Total

37:42

, cb , cb , I love it . Well

37:44

, here's the thing . So if you're a CB

37:46

and

37:49

I'm a CA , so

37:52

we're going to connect . So first

37:54

of all , you know , in any relationship you can

37:56

do one of those Venn diagrams and you say , okay

37:58

, cb , ca , where's

38:00

the overlap C ? So

38:02

if we meet at a party and

38:05

we start talking , we'll probably

38:07

very quickly gravitate towards our overlap

38:10

, which will be C , and we'll find ourself in a C conversation

38:12

and it'll happen pretty quickly . Anyone

38:17

say you're a CB and you're talking to an AB

38:19

, like , um , what's

38:22

this ? Peter Jennings , what's the ? Alex

38:24

Trebek from

38:26

Jeopardy right ? Or

38:28

Bill Gates , elizabeth Warren , they're all

38:30

ABs . You're talking to

38:33

an AB . You're probably

38:35

going to spend your the bulk of your

38:37

talk time together in B

38:39

, because that's where you overlap

38:41

.

38:42

Well , I would hope so , because you're

38:45

speaking about a high super in

38:47

my world . You know , highly educated

38:49

, like Bill

38:51

Gates , attended Harvard . I think the

38:53

closest I ever got to Harvard was , yeah

38:56

, I was in Boston Taking

39:00

the T . Yeah , exactly . Or , like you know

39:02

, doctor , you know all these Ivy League

39:04

places . Yeah , columbia University

39:06

, yeah , it was one of the stops on the double decker

39:09

bus . That's right With

39:11

Columbia University . But

39:13

, yeah , yeah , no , no , I

39:15

, I wouldn't want , I would

39:17

probably also well

39:20

, just are just who

39:22

we are . A lot of times , I mean

39:24

, if you are an a , you

39:27

would still feel you wouldn't think

39:30

like , oh my gosh , this is like bill

39:32

gates , I mean

39:34

yeah , the .

39:37

So we can still be um

39:39

, so we can still

39:42

be respectful or even in awe of

39:44

somebody's ability

39:47

or knowledge or experience

39:50

, regardless of , you know , A

39:52

, B or C . But

39:54

often we can have

39:56

that kind of love-hate relationship with

39:58

the one that we don't have . So for

40:01

a BC or a CB , so

40:07

basically the ones that don't have A , the talk types that don't have A , they might look at an

40:09

A like Bill Gates and be like wow , that's so amazing , Like all of that , how does it's like

40:11

an encyclopedia , you know , in his head , or

40:14

it could just be the opposite

40:16

. Oh , just total turnoff , Like

40:22

ah , I don't want to hear it . Like when is it going to be over ? You know , and we can

40:24

have both of those responses

40:28

. But to cycle back to the previous point

40:30

, we don't take things

40:32

. Once we learn about all this , we can

40:34

stop taking things as personally . You

40:36

know . Think

40:39

about A and C . A's and

40:41

C's want to be understood

40:43

objectively

40:45

or subjectively . Either way , they want to be understood . So

40:48

if you are talking , say

40:52

I have A , so someone's talking to me and

40:55

they interrupt me , or

40:58

I'm talking sorry , I'm talking and they interrupt me . I

41:01

don't get offended if they

41:03

interrupt me to say wait a minute , I don't understand

41:06

. So , is it this or is it this ? I'm confused

41:08

. I'll be like , oh great , Let me help

41:10

you with your understanding Because actually

41:12

the interruption helped

41:17

. It's aligned with our top goals

41:19

that I want them to understand . I want to be

41:21

understood . But

41:28

if someone's talking B , let me show you pictures on my phone on my trip and

41:30

you get interrupted , Well , you're not going to like that , because your

41:32

goal is to be heard , to be , to have a

41:34

witness . So what are you doing ? And you don't care about what

41:36

I'm saying . You don't care about what I'm saying . That doesn't

41:38

feel good . That's the message

41:40

. So , um , the

41:49

the ? The point is , if somebody you know , if you don't have

41:51

a , for example , and somebody interrupts you while you're you know

41:53

, um , while you're talking

41:55

a , and says , hey , I have a question about that , and you

41:57

feel , or let's fact check that , Is that actually

42:00

true ? About Pompeii

42:02

, Somebody's

42:05

going to be like , wait a minute , that

42:08

feels like a personal attack . Well

42:15

, if they're just an A dominant , like if Bill Gates asked you , is that true , let's fact check that

42:17

Pompeii thing it would be easy probably

42:19

for a , B , C or C B to

42:21

feel like that's a personal attack , but

42:24

actually when you think , oh gosh , they don't , you

42:26

know , they're just being A , it

42:28

helps , it actually helps . And

42:31

the opposite is true . If somebody doesn't have B

42:34

and a , B is telling a story and showing pictures

42:36

of , you know , the kids on the phone

42:38

or whatever , and it's

42:40

it's an act of kindness to not

42:42

interrupt .

42:44

So somebody like an , a

42:46

Bill Gates , then he wouldn't

42:48

mind if I'm like hey , you

42:50

know what , I'm pretty computer

42:53

illiterate , I really don't know

42:55

code . Can you break

42:57

this down , the

43:00

operating system of Microsoft

43:03

or whatnot , totally , he

43:06

would totally get that .

43:07

Yeah , and Bill Gates is an AB . So

43:11

if you interrupted him

43:14

and said , hey , can you break that down , he

43:17

would probably make a little B joke about

43:19

it . Um , you know

43:21

and , and , and

43:24

, and then go right back into

43:26

the serious facts about breaking

43:28

it down .

43:30

So , um , yeah

43:32

, so since he has a little bit of B

43:34

he , he could throw down like a

43:37

story about him and Paul

43:39

Allen . Oh , yeah . Or

43:41

whatnot . When they first

43:43

started , yeah , and

43:45

then just switch back to an A .

43:48

Yes , in fact , what's really interesting is if you

43:50

look at old videos where

43:53

you have Steve Jobs and Bill Gates together

43:55

. Steve Jobs is an AC , bill

43:58

Gates is an AB . They overlap

44:00

in A , an

44:07

AC , bill Gates is an AB , they overlap in A . But Steve Jobs will always , or invariably

44:09

, point back to the meaning of the software and

44:11

the programs and the design of the products

44:13

and Bill Gates doesn't

44:16

. He points to the . He

44:19

might tell stories about the experience of

44:22

the design or , um , people's

44:25

uh , feelings or reactions

44:27

, as you know , through the process , but

44:30

the meaning elements he

44:33

doesn't touch that . So

44:35

it's interesting to see them kind

44:37

of side by side and and

44:40

really you can , you can see the

44:42

talk types at work well

44:44

be easier for them to hang out

44:47

in the a too , because two

44:51

amazing geniuses

44:54

that created

44:56

companies .

44:58

You know we are

45:00

who we are companies

45:06

. You know we are who we are based out of both

45:08

, and you know I don't care what tinfoil hat person says

45:10

about bill gates these days ? Or oh well , steve jobs

45:13

did this , or that they

45:16

moved the needle . They change

45:18

, that's right what ? how we live

45:20

our lives absolutely

45:22

, yeah , yeah well

45:25

, you know what I also like

45:28

about what you offer , because

45:30

checking out your website

45:32

is that you actually have workshops

45:35

. To me

45:37

, this , this is this

45:39

is moving the needle stuff

45:41

. This is stuff that can help people . Actually

45:44

, communication

45:47

makes the world go round . Communication can help you get that job . Communication

45:50

can help you get a raise , more

45:53

sales or whatnot . To

45:56

me , your workshops are worth

45:58

a lot more than paying some

46:00

guru a

46:03

bunch of money so we can buy

46:05

merch and live and be and

46:07

go . Oh my gosh , I did this weekend

46:10

seminar in La Jolla

46:12

or wherever .

46:14

Right , right , no , I

46:16

mean , I think it's

46:18

kind of funny because it's

46:22

so big communication

46:24

, its bigness , I think

46:26

, is so overwhelming as

46:28

to be unfathomable

46:32

. It

46:35

really is like a fish talking about water

46:37

, fish

46:46

talking about water . Because if , if , in fact , there are really only

46:48

three reasons fundamentally that people talk and we have our preferences

46:51

, that form six talk types , and

46:53

everyone on the planet is one of these types

46:55

, you know , can be categorized as one of these types

46:57

, as

47:07

one of these types , that fundamentally changes

47:09

everything , everything that communication touches . And what does

47:11

communication touch ? Everything , everything , everything from

47:15

our most intimate relationships to

47:18

the

47:20

information and entertainment

47:22

that we consume , to our

47:24

workspaces , our bosses

47:26

and employee relationship , medical

47:28

, even

47:33

our self-talk , our

47:35

dreams . It's communication with the self

47:37

. It's just , it's

47:39

never . I mean , it's not , there's

47:41

no end , it's infinite .

47:43

Well , if someone lives in A and

47:46

I'm coming at them with

47:48

C , there's going to be a major disconnect

47:50

.

47:51

Well , so here's the thing . Yes , and

47:54

possibly each

47:56

of us has a talk type where we have

47:58

a dominant and a secondary preference . So let's

48:00

say you're a CB and somebody

48:02

is a dominant A . Well

48:05

, if they're an AB , that'll

48:08

probably be the hardest , because B

48:11

is both of your secondary and each of your dominants

48:13

are different . But if the

48:15

person's an AC , it'll

48:18

be a little bit easier

48:21

because they're secondary , is your dominant

48:23

, so it'll be a

48:25

little bit closer to home for you . Um

48:27

, but but

48:30

yeah , it's , it's hard when our talk

48:32

, we're taught you know we're talking with someone

48:34

who , for for them

48:36

, their dominant is is , um , a

48:39

category we don't , we don't have at all . That's

48:41

, that's the hardest . But

48:43

that's where the education can come in and

48:46

the the practice and some of the tools

48:48

and and ultimately

48:50

, once

48:53

we learn these talk types , it's

48:56

I mean , it's life-changing , it's empowering

48:59

, because everything we do

49:01

is

49:04

impacted . We

49:06

can go to the grocery store or the bank and

49:08

have a better experience with someone

49:11

you know . The

49:13

person who's ringing up our groceries

49:15

or the bank teller , someone

49:17

we just have an experience or a conversation

49:20

with for just a few moments , can

49:22

be . It can be that much better . Or

49:25

even the big decisions that we make who

49:27

to marry , where to live , the

49:29

career to go into . We

49:32

can make better decisions when

49:35

we're more

49:37

informed .

49:39

Always .

49:40

Always .

49:44

We're talking to Amanda EHD In

49:49

communication , best-selling

49:51

on Amazon , best-selling author Of

49:54

talk types . Not

49:57

only Does she have the book , which

49:59

you can buy at Amazon and

50:01

Barnes and Noble , download

50:03

it , listen to it on

50:05

Audible , especially when you're going

50:07

to work , you're commuting , you

50:09

live in SoCal like Amanda and

50:12

you're just going like five miles away and

50:14

it takes you like two hours . You

50:16

can listen to the book , you can take notes and

50:19

listen to something over

50:21

and over and implement , write

50:24

it down , because you know

50:26

a lot of people are like well , I read

50:28

20 books but

50:30

you didn't implement anything . Who cares ?

50:33

Yeah , no

50:36

, you're absolutely right . We're not living in

50:38

an era of information poverty . We're living in an era of

50:41

information poverty

50:43

. We're living in an era of application

50:46

poverty .

50:47

Exactly exactly . There

50:51

was a guy

50:53

I know and he would always text

50:55

me so what book do I need to read

50:57

now ? What book do I need to read now ? Over

51:00

and over . And he even

51:02

like , like my book . What

51:04

if it did work ? He said it didn't work

51:06

. Well , it's because you didn't implement it

51:08

. But after a while , after

51:11

months of giving him different books , I

51:14

finally broke it down . I'm like all these books

51:16

are boring , you don't implement

51:18

. Why don't you just read something or listen

51:20

to something , that some fiction

51:22

, that that you know that you'll

51:25

enjoy it ? Because you're reading all this stuff and not implementing

51:27

anything . And that's the story of pretty

51:29

much a lot of people .

51:32

Oh yeah , absolutely better

51:34

to just do something

51:36

you enjoy , um , and at least

51:38

you'll be , you'll be present for

51:40

it

51:43

.

51:44

Until you're ready .

51:44

Until you're ready for the other stuff .

51:46

Read it a bunch of times , take

51:50

the notes , implement . Don't

51:53

be like , oh well , I read it , it

51:55

was good . What did you get out of it ? Well

51:57

, what's my next book ? What's

52:00

Audible telling me ? You

52:02

know what's the suggestion ? The suggestion is keep on

52:04

reading . The suggestion

52:07

is literally do the work

52:09

. Yeah , work , amanda

52:12

. How do they find

52:14

you ? Because how do they book you for a seminar

52:16

? These workshops , these personal

52:19

coaching I love that these

52:25

workshops , these personal coaching .

52:26

I love that , yeah , yeah . So go to amandacandariscom and there's a , there's a brief form . Just

52:28

fill that out , then that'll put

52:30

you in contact with me . You can get

52:32

the book on uh , amazon and

52:34

barnes and noble and audible and

52:38

uh I want you to .

52:40

Uh , I know you have a one-day seminar and three-day

52:42

workshop . Do you space these

52:44

out or the are

52:46

the ? Are they through zoom , or do we have to go

52:48

to socal ?

52:50

no , no , everything can be done on zoom these

52:53

days . Yeah , I , I love the in-person

52:55

, I act , I'm very much , you know

52:57

, high touch in a high-tech world , but but

53:00

the

53:02

world that we live in is is

53:04

very much a digital world

53:06

, and I'm okay with that too . And

53:09

, honestly , like

53:11

you said , as long as we're implementing what we

53:13

learn , then the

53:16

learning can happen in any format and

53:20

we can be touched by it .

53:21

So and obviously

53:23

anybody can hire you because it's communication

53:25

. You don't have to be a ceo , cfo

53:28

, you can be everybody and anybody

53:30

, because if you can communicate

53:32

with people , you can become

53:34

way more successful in anything

53:36

that you do yeah , no , that's

53:39

right .

53:39

I mean , the communication is how we interface

53:41

with the world and with

53:44

ourselves . It , it

53:46

literally does touch everything that we do

53:48

and um , and

53:50

so everybody , everybody needs

53:52

, um , you know

53:54

, I , I , we all need

53:56

a greater

53:59

understanding of um , of anything

54:01

that we want to improve , anything that we

54:03

want to just

54:06

get better at and

54:08

find more meaning

54:11

, purpose , application . Yeah

54:14

, so

54:17

that's the first step building that vocabulary

54:19

and then applying it .

54:23

Well , here's my question to you , amanda

54:25

. Oh , I'm

54:27

a person I'm stuck in my . I'm

54:29

so set in my ways . You can't teach

54:32

an old dog new tricks . I

54:35

don't need to . Oh , I'm not

54:37

in sales , I don't need to communicate

54:40

. I have a job in a corporation . I'm not in sales , I don't need

54:42

to communicate . I have a job in a corporation . I'm

54:44

sorry , what do I need to

54:46

learn about communication ? Why

54:49

do I want to communicate better ? I mean

54:51

, either you like me

54:53

or you don't like me . What

54:55

would you tell that person ? What words of

54:57

wisdom would you tell them ?

55:00

Well , you know , at the end of the day , of course

55:02

you know we can

55:04

teach old dogs new

55:06

tricks , but it is best

55:09

if the old dog wants to learn the new

55:11

tricks . The

55:14

very first thing is really , if

55:16

the student isn't willing

55:19

, it's going to be , you know

55:21

, a lot more challenging . But that

55:23

said , people

55:27

we all , I

55:31

think we don't see sometimes

55:34

the value in things

55:36

that we don't know , that

55:38

we don't know Until

55:41

we learn

55:44

something and

55:46

we start to actually see its

55:49

utility in our lives . Then

55:51

we become the cheerleader for it and we

55:53

say , oh , wow , it's

55:57

hard for that person

55:59

probably to I

56:03

get it . They don't know . They don't know what the benefits would be because

56:06

they they don't understand the model yet , they're not familiar

56:08

with it and they don't see the effects . But

56:10

the effects are everything from . You

56:12

know we talked about decisions

56:15

. Ray Dalio says

56:17

, famous for saying the

56:21

quality of our life ultimately

56:24

depends on the quality of our

56:26

decisions . And

56:29

the talk type model helps us to make better

56:31

decisions more quickly

56:34

. We don't have to go on

56:36

six first dates with the same

56:38

person . We can understand

56:42

, learn the talk type model and say , okay

56:44

, yeah , you're a CB , probably

56:47

not going to be the best match with most

56:50

ABs ? Probably not

56:53

, but maybe you will . You get

56:55

to decide . Maybe you

56:57

just have an affinity for ABs and you just

56:59

love them . For whatever reason

57:01

, you admire them . You know , who knows , people

57:04

are different , a lot

57:06

of people that might not , that match might

57:08

not work for , but for you that might be exactly

57:10

what you're looking for . So then you

57:12

can go on a date , you

57:14

can um and and you

57:17

say , oh , this person isn't an AB , I really

57:19

want to be with an AB , okay . Well then , it

57:22

was a great dinner , but I'm going to

57:24

keep looking . You know , in the workplace

57:26

we

57:28

have conflict that

57:30

happens , and now we

57:32

can resolve it better because

57:34

we realize that we

57:38

all have different needs

57:41

and so much conflict

57:43

happens when our needs

57:45

either aren't being met

57:47

or there's a perception that they're not being

57:49

met . So

57:51

then we can again use the model to

57:54

help fix those things . The

57:56

talk type model lends

58:00

us an understanding with

58:04

which we can better navigate the world , and

58:06

I understand for people

58:08

who don't know it yet , it's like the laser . When

58:11

the laser came out , you

58:13

know we think , oh gosh , the laser . We use it for everything

58:16

right In medicine , in

58:18

science , in space technology

58:21

and

58:24

even in the classroom in basic

58:26

uses , like a pointer for a PowerPoint

58:28

. Well , when the laser first

58:30

came out , it

58:42

was jokingly referred to

58:44

as a solution looking for a problem . Nobody knew what to do with

58:46

it . Well , that's great , you came out with this laser , but

58:48

but gee , what do we do with it ? Um

58:51

, and it was like that , that

58:53

old you know dog with doesn't

58:56

want to learn new tricks . It's like no

58:58

, there are lots of applications

59:00

here , but

59:02

we're

59:05

just now starting to uncover

59:07

many of them . I

59:10

can see the applications in the last

59:13

30

59:17

years of developing the model , but maybe

59:19

in the last 10 of actually

59:21

using it in my daily life , in my

59:23

personal and professional spheres . But

59:26

what about the next 20 years , or the next 30

59:28

or beyond

59:30

me ? You

59:34

know , I think

59:36

it's

59:41

mind-boggling to me . You know

59:43

how these I guess that's a larger

59:45

answer to your question but

59:47

, um , but

59:50

these things take on a life of their own only

59:53

as they start to

59:55

integrate with with the

59:58

systems that

1:00:00

are in place , and

1:00:03

it takes people really kind

1:00:05

of interacting with them to make that happen

1:00:07

. And I'm looking forward to

1:00:10

see even more applications beyond

1:00:12

the ones that you know that

1:00:14

have been in my realm

1:00:17

of experience .

1:00:20

Great answer . No

1:00:27

, for real , thank you . Thank you for everything and thank

1:00:29

you for the hour . Thank you for learning

1:00:31

something new . Either we're growing

1:00:34

or we're dying .

1:00:35

Absolutely .

1:00:36

I choose to grow every day . So

1:00:39

thank you , and I am going to download

1:00:41

on Audible and I'll give

1:00:43

you my thoughts on the whole book , the whole

1:00:45

nine yards . But if

1:00:48

you're a reader and Christmas

1:00:50

, hanukkah , festivus Fonze is coming

1:00:52

, buy the book . Amazoncom

1:00:56

Barnes . Noble Amanda

1:00:58

Condettas , phd Not

1:01:01

only a PhD in results and communication

1:01:03

with her best-selling book , talk

1:01:06

Types . Thank you .

1:01:08

Thank you so much , Omar .

1:01:15

It's been a pleasure . You can make the

1:01:17

choice to never listen to that negative

1:01:20

voice no more . The hardest

1:01:22

prison to escape is our own mind

1:01:24

. I was trapped inside that prison all for a

1:01:26

long time . To make it happen , you

1:01:29

gotta take action . Just

1:01:35

imagine what

1:01:37

if

1:01:40

it did

1:01:43

work

1:01:46

.