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for details. Hey,

1:51

I'm

1:53

Julian

1:58

Hey, I'm Julian Morgan's

2:00

Then you're listening to what it was

2:02

like. The show that asks people who

2:04

have lived through big dramatic events what

2:07

it was like. I've got a confession

2:09

to make. I've got a confession to

2:11

make. I get parking fines all the

2:14

time. I'd say on average I get

2:16

at least one a month and I

2:18

easily spend about $1,500 on parking fines

2:20

every year. And I know what you're

2:23

thinking. You're thinking, it's my fault, I

2:25

should just change my behavior and I

2:27

won't have this problem. But... changing behavior

2:30

is hard. You know, I think it

2:32

really is. And I think that's the

2:34

same for everyone. And I think also

2:37

the root issue here, like the causation

2:39

of this whole thing is that I'm

2:41

bad at punctuality. I'm the late guy.

2:43

I've always been the late guy. I

2:46

self-identify as a late guy. And the

2:48

root cause of that, I think is

2:50

that I just find it really hard

2:53

to transition between activities. You know, like

2:55

I'll be doing one job and I

2:57

think to myself, I should stop doing

3:00

this job. Otherwise, I'm going to be

3:02

late for the next job. But I

3:04

find it so hard to stop. I'm

3:07

always like, ah, just give me two

3:09

more minutes of writing this thing or

3:11

eating this food or sleeping in this

3:13

bed. And then it's actually more like

3:16

20 minutes in normal human time. But

3:18

in my head, it feels like two

3:20

minutes. And then of course I get

3:23

to my car. And every time I've

3:25

got a parking fine. I've got a

3:27

parking fine. I've got a parking fine.

3:30

I've got a parking fine. I've got

3:32

a parking fine. I've got a parking

3:34

fine. and I know what you're thinking.

3:37

You're still thinking that I should stop

3:39

legitimizing my tardiness and I should just

3:41

sort my shit out. And you're right.

3:43

You're right. I know. You are so

3:46

right. But one more thing, if I

3:48

may, a counter argument. And that is,

3:50

I don't think that I'm actually doing

3:53

something wrong. You know, overstaying my time

3:55

in a parking spot. It's not wrong

3:57

in an ethical sense. It's not against

4:00

the norms of decent society. And it's

4:02

not like I ever learned anything like

4:04

I ever learned anything either. like I'm

4:06

committing some moral transgression and a parking

4:09

fine shows me the error of my

4:11

ways and I'm like, oh boy, oh

4:13

boy, that's the last time I have

4:16

a relaxed lunch, I've learned my lesson,

4:18

thank you local council. No, instead I

4:20

just get my fine and I feel

4:23

insane, like homicideally furious at the world.

4:25

But mostly myself, because I try to

4:27

change. Every month, I'm like, I can

4:30

do this, I've got to change. I

4:32

can be more organized, I can be

4:34

better, I have to be better. And

4:36

then I don't change, and I get

4:39

another parking fine. And it feels unfair.

4:41

Not just for me, but I think

4:43

all sorts of people have this problem.

4:46

Hey Darcy. Hi. Thanks for sitting through

4:48

that. Is it okay that I laughed

4:50

at a little part because I'm not

4:53

sure if that's going to come through

4:55

on there? No, that was nice. That

4:57

was very reassuring. Okay. So do you

5:00

know introduce yourself? All right, sure. I'm

5:02

Darcy Humphreys. I am 26. I'm fresh

5:04

off the press with uni, and I

5:06

have been interning with what it was

5:09

like podcast. That's very cool. So the

5:11

reason I wanted to get you on

5:13

this show, on this episode, was that,

5:16

remember, we were having this conversation, I

5:18

was like, oh my God, I get

5:20

fines all the time, and you were

5:23

basically like, hey, you think that's bad?

5:25

Listen to my story. Like, you know,

5:27

this is, parking fines are a universal

5:29

issue that a lot of people deal

5:32

with. So yeah, I was just wondering

5:34

if you'd tell us a bit about

5:36

your story. So, okay, I

5:38

think I was in my second last

5:41

year, or maybe my last year of

5:43

year, and I actually don't even remember,

5:45

and I was working in Perth, in

5:47

the city, and I was also in

5:49

this really shitty relationship with a guy

5:51

that had as a spend a driver's

5:53

license, and he worked at a dive

5:55

bar, so he would work until like

5:57

4.30 in the morning, and then I

5:59

would go pick him up, come back

6:01

to sleep for like an hour, and

6:03

then get up and go to work.

6:05

And I didn't want to sacrifice that

6:07

extra 10 minutes of sleep to go

6:09

to the assigned parking area. So I

6:11

would just illegally park on the street

6:13

on Riverside Drive for like 18 months.

6:15

Oh my God. Yeah. How old were

6:18

you at the time? I think I

6:20

was like 21 when that started, when

6:22

I first got that job. Okay, and

6:24

what was the grand total in your

6:26

debt amount after 18 months of doing

6:28

that? Just under 24,000. Oh my God.

6:30

That actually makes me feel so much

6:32

better about my predicament. $24,000 at the

6:34

age of 21. Yeah. I mean, like,

6:36

walk me through that, you know, you

6:38

get to your car every single day

6:40

and there's a parking ticket there. Yeah,

6:42

yeah, well I mean, and I think

6:44

this is probably a testament to undiagnose

6:46

ADHD at the time as well, is

6:48

like, I just saw pieces of paper,

6:50

so I would just be like, oh,

6:52

how annoying. And then my back seat

6:54

was just overflowing with pieces of paper.

6:57

And I didn't really take them seriously,

6:59

because in my mind, I was like,

7:01

I was a handful of 60-dollar fines,

7:03

like, whatever, I'll get to it, I'll

7:05

get to it. I mean definitely I

7:07

was, I mean I'm still not diagnosed

7:09

ADHD, I have had doctors and therapists

7:11

tell me to look into it but

7:13

I keep procrastinating it which I think

7:15

is a little ironic. And then I

7:17

think also definitely like a depression angle

7:19

because I wasn't really happy in the

7:21

relationship I was in at the time,

7:23

I think with the way I was

7:25

living my life as well, like my

7:27

body wasn't healthy. So then when it

7:29

came to things like having to get

7:31

up early in the morning and then

7:34

go to work, which was also like

7:36

a toxic workplace, it was really easy

7:38

to just let things drop by the

7:40

wayside and ignore them for months on

7:42

end until I ruined my life with

7:44

debt. Did you have friends or family?

7:46

your backseat pile of parking tickets and

7:48

being like, hey Darcy, you need to

7:50

sort this out. Yeah, it was like

7:52

a bit of a, it was a

7:54

bit really. It was always a joke

7:56

about getting into my car and having

7:58

to wade through all the parking fines.

8:00

And everybody was like, when are you

8:02

going to deal with this? When are

8:04

you going to do something about this?

8:06

And at the time, people were like,

8:08

oh, I can't believe you owe $2,

8:10

$3,000. And then I told my family

8:13

that it was like $2,000 and they

8:15

were like blown away. And then when

8:17

I actually checked that like months later

8:19

and at that point it was almost

8:21

20,000, that's when I was like, oh

8:23

my God, have I have I ruined

8:25

my life? Like have I just cooked

8:27

myself at 23? And then I kind

8:29

of tried to deal with it all

8:31

at once, which was kind of its

8:33

own demon as well. Well, I tried

8:35

to go on this really hectic payment

8:37

plan where I was paying back like

8:39

$300 a fortnight or like $600 or

8:41

something insane. But then what happened when

8:43

I did that is I didn't actually

8:45

have any money to then go live

8:47

my life. And then I wouldn't have

8:49

any money for food and I wouldn't

8:52

have any money to go out and

8:54

do things with my friends, which they

8:56

were doing all the time because you

8:58

know, you're in early 20 or everybody's

9:00

going out and doing stuff. So then

9:02

I kind of, it honestly made me

9:04

feel like a bit of a crackhead.

9:06

I would message my parents and be

9:08

like, hey, can I borrow money for

9:10

food? Can I borrow money to go

9:12

out to dinner? Can I borrow money

9:14

to do this? And they were like,

9:16

where's your money? Like you're working five

9:18

days a week, why don't you have

9:20

any money? And I was like, oh,

9:22

that's a really good question. Because I

9:24

made a mess, but I don't want

9:26

to explain it too. So I'm just

9:29

going to make an excuse, make an

9:31

excuse, make an excuse, make an excuse,

9:33

I'm just going to make an excuse,

9:35

make an excuse, make an excuse, I'm

9:37

going to make an excuse, I'm going

9:39

to make an excuse, I'm going to

9:41

make an excuse, I'm going to make

9:43

an excuse, I'm going to make an

9:45

excuse, Oh God, God. So I guess,

9:47

I mean I feel, I feel vindicated

9:49

here. I feel like this is illustrating

9:51

my point is that parking fines. This

9:53

has real world consequences for young people

9:55

who don't have resources for anyone vulnerable

9:57

for whatever reason. You know, if you're

9:59

going through a useless patch in your

10:01

life, you make yourself vulnerable. So- You

10:03

think a lot of people do? Yeah.

10:05

right, well, Darcy, I gotta tell you,

10:08

I've cooked up a plot. I'm gonna

10:10

get revenge, okay? For people like you,

10:12

for people like me, for people who

10:14

keep getting stung with parking fines, I'm

10:16

just gonna go and get some revenge.

10:18

Hell yeah, let's take them down. Such

10:20

a good response. All right, I'll come

10:22

back to you in a month, I'll

10:24

tell you how it went, and wish

10:26

me luck, I guess. I mean, good

10:28

luck and whatever you're doing. I'm keen.

10:30

Are you curious? Are you curious about

10:32

what I'm up to? I am so

10:34

curious. This could go any direction. Yeah,

10:36

tell me about it. All right, cool.

10:38

Great talking. Thanks for telling your story.

10:40

All right, catch on them on. See

10:42

ya. All

10:47

right, so Darcy's gone, it's just you

10:50

and me, and in case you haven't

10:52

already figured out, this episode's a little

10:54

bit different. It's a special edition, because

10:57

I'm not going to interview anyone. I'm

10:59

on a mission to get revenge. And

11:01

that's for two reasons. Okay, so first,

11:04

parking fines target vulnerable people. That's why

11:06

we just heard from Darcy. She was

11:08

21 years old, and as you heard,

11:11

she couldn't even afford groceries. Not cool.

11:13

But my other reason for doing this.

11:15

is that I just think that modern

11:18

life is annoying enough already. We've already

11:20

got inflation and mosquitoes and there's 10

11:22

million passwords to remember every time we

11:25

use the internet. I just think, laugh

11:27

to me, it sometimes feels like I'm

11:29

trying to jog through molasses and I

11:32

just don't need local governments to put

11:34

more annoying shit like parking fines in

11:36

my way. So that's my belief. That's

11:39

how I feel about parking fines and

11:41

if you agree. strap in because here's

11:43

what I'm going to do. I'm going

11:46

to get a job as a parking

11:48

inspector and then I'm going to spend

11:50

a day on their clock as in

11:52

the local council's clock doing absolutely nothing

11:55

and then going to quit and I

11:57

figure that that will cost them around

11:59

$800. And why? Why $800 you ask?

12:02

Why is that an important number? Because

12:04

there's a local council here in Melbourne

12:06

that's ruthless. I'm not going to name

12:09

them. But these guys, these guys are

12:11

kind of animals. If you're a minute

12:13

late, getting back to your car, or

12:16

if your tire is just slightly out

12:18

of the zone, they fine you. And

12:20

I reckon I've probably wasted $800 on

12:23

this one city council this year alone.

12:25

So now, it's my turn to waste

12:27

$800 bucks of their money. And the

12:30

first step is to get a job.

12:32

Luckily, this city council always has vacancies

12:34

for parking inspector roles. So I started

12:37

applying. You know, I wrote up a

12:39

resume and I don't want to criticize

12:41

people who work in this role, but

12:44

I didn't find it that hard to

12:46

get an interview. I just sent in

12:48

a lightly embellished resume highlighting my skills

12:51

and law enforcement and how good I

12:53

am at time management. And they were

12:55

like, hey, this guy seems good. Do

12:58

you want to come in for an

13:00

interview? And at that point,

13:02

it suddenly stopped being funny. I think

13:04

up until this point, it had been

13:06

like, ah, I'm just going to be

13:08

running a fun prank, like a YouTube,

13:10

you know, Ashton Kuchar style punked thing.

13:12

And then suddenly I was like, ah,

13:14

I'm going to have to come in

13:16

for an interview, and I'm going to

13:18

need to pretend to be the kind

13:20

of person who wants to work as

13:22

a parking inspector when I'm clearly not

13:25

that person. So that will involve a

13:27

lot of bullshit. And I'm going to

13:29

have to act. Like I'm going to

13:31

have to do some method acting here.

13:33

And suddenly that seemed like a lot

13:35

of dishonesty, which stopped being funny. So

13:37

I got invited into this interview. You

13:39

know, it was Monday morning, 9 a.m.

13:41

show up at the city council offices

13:43

and I get out of my car

13:45

and I'm suddenly feeling very nervous. And

13:47

then I go into the building and

13:49

there's this big desk and there's this

13:51

woman behind the desk and I'm like,

13:53

like, what am I doing here. My

13:55

name is Julian, I've got a 10

13:57

a.m. interview for a parking inspector job.

13:59

I was told to sit down white

14:01

in this huge foyer, then someone would

14:03

be out to see me in a

14:05

moment. And, oh God, yeah, I don't

14:07

know. I mean, I know I'm not

14:09

like committing white collar crime here, but

14:12

it just suddenly hit me that this

14:14

sucked and I didn't want to do

14:16

this. Which is interesting, because I actually,

14:18

I remember when I was younger and

14:20

I watched Catch Me if you can.

14:22

Remember that Leonardo DiCaprio movie? I was

14:24

like, oh, I'd be good at swindling.

14:26

Like I could be a smooth swindling.

14:28

And then this was this moment here.

14:30

This was the closest I've ever come

14:32

to any kind of swindle. And I

14:34

was having a bad time. I was

14:36

sitting there, I was really not into

14:38

it. But then two guys, they come

14:40

out of this door and they're looking

14:42

super friendly and they've got big grins

14:44

on their faces. And yeah, these are

14:46

the guys who are about to give

14:48

me the job. And heads up, we're

14:50

going to beep out all of the

14:52

names and identifying information. Hey, nice to

14:54

meet you mate. How are you? It's

14:56

very well. How are you doing? Yeah,

14:58

no good thing. I guess it's just...

15:01

nice of me. Sure. Yeah. My hands

15:03

were clammy, but, you know, we shook

15:05

hands, and then they led me into

15:07

the world's loudest cafeteria to have a

15:09

chat. And the first

15:11

thing I was asked was, had

15:13

I worked as a parking inspector

15:16

before? And of course, I'm like,

15:18

yeah, I've worked as a

15:20

parking inspector. Of course. And to

15:23

be clear here, I have not.

15:25

And then one of the guys

15:27

asked me about the technology

15:29

that I used to process infringements,

15:32

and I had to totally wing

15:34

this answer. Was this like a

15:37

little electronic? It might

15:39

have been it, yeah? Was it on

15:41

my phone or was it on something?

15:43

It was like a little, um, looked

15:45

like a little game boy. It was

15:47

like a little bit of paper that

15:49

came out of it. I couldn't tell

15:51

you the brand. Maybe auto-sized. Somehow I

15:53

think I got away with this, but

15:55

the whole thing felt gross. And the

15:57

worst part was that they were so

15:59

nice. I always thought of... inspectors as

16:01

these just ruthless people, but these guys

16:03

seemed lovely. So I started thinking, oh,

16:05

I'm just gonna, this is dumb, I'm

16:07

just gonna abandon this whole scheme, I'm

16:09

just gonna apologize, I'll leave them alone.

16:11

So I was just trying to get

16:13

out there. So I said my goodbyers

16:15

just as fast as I could. Look,

16:17

I might leave you guys to drink

16:19

your coffee. But absolutely. Thanks. Thanks so

16:21

much. That's fine. Thank you for meeting

16:23

you. A lovely daylight. Ah, places on

16:25

my own. And then I left, thinking

16:27

that I probably wouldn't even get the

16:29

job. But then one day, about a

16:31

week later, I got a missed call

16:33

on my phone. So I dialed the

16:35

number back, and here's what went down.

16:37

Hi, Julian, how you're going? How you

16:39

know? And how you know that I

16:41

sort of rushed into everything this morning.

16:43

Everything this morning. No,

16:46

that's that's totally fine. Tell me all

16:48

about it. Yeah, okay, good. So, very

16:50

keen on you and they were really

16:52

happy with what you had to offer

16:54

and obviously to get you up board

16:56

as quick as possible. But obviously they

16:59

understand that, you know, it is a

17:01

really short turnaround. So if it is

17:03

going to be an issue for you,

17:05

they will work with you as much

17:07

as they can. Yeah, I can't do

17:09

Monday next week, but I could I

17:11

could potentially start Tuesday if that works.

17:13

That's absolutely fine. They're happy to start

17:15

you on Tuesday. I already made sure

17:17

that there's a plan C, B and

17:19

D and everything else, so that's fine.

17:22

And just like that, I had a

17:24

job as a parking inspector. And

17:26

suddenly I was even more nervous

17:28

about the whole thing. So I

17:30

tried to remind myself how I

17:33

felt, the kind of anger, the

17:35

fury that I felt every time

17:37

that I got a parking ticket.

17:39

And I tried to remind myself

17:41

of Darcy's story, you know, just

17:43

like what a shitty situation that

17:45

was. But none of this really

17:47

helped. So to calm my nerves,

17:49

I decided to do some research

17:51

on the parking industry. You know,

17:54

some actual journalism, to remind myself

17:56

why I was doing this. And

17:58

here's what I learned. First of

18:00

all, councils don't even make that

18:02

much money from parking fines. As

18:04

government bodies have to be pretty

18:06

transparent about how they're making and

18:08

spending cash. And detailed in their

18:10

numbers is always info about what

18:13

they collect in parking revenue. And

18:15

I got to say it was

18:17

really interesting. I discovered that as

18:19

a percentage of their overall budgets,

18:21

parking fines don't contribute much. So

18:23

I'm just going to use two

18:25

major city councils here in Melbourne

18:27

as an example. So for the

18:29

financial year of 2024, The city

18:31

of Stonington, which includes such posh

18:34

areas as Turak, made almost $17

18:36

million from parking fines. Meanwhile, the

18:38

city of Yarra, a little bit

18:40

further north, kind of Fitzroy area,

18:42

they made $18 million. That sounds

18:44

like a lot, but keep in

18:46

mind that both operating budgets sit

18:48

at around $250 million in total.

18:50

So they're only making about 7%

18:52

of their total budget through parking

18:55

fines. Which is interesting because they

18:57

make almost as much money just

18:59

by charging fees on council sports

19:01

facilities like swimming pools or golf

19:03

courses as they do from finding

19:05

people for parking. So my question

19:07

is, why even bother? You know,

19:09

like, why find people at all?

19:11

If you can collect that money

19:13

in other ways, why put this

19:16

kind of burden on the people

19:18

that live in your community? So

19:20

I actually put this question to

19:22

a woman who works at the

19:24

City of Yarra. Like I've said

19:26

before, we're not going to use

19:28

any names here. And I will

19:30

say, City of Yarra, incredibly helpful,

19:32

very forthcoming, lovely. Thank you. Anyway,

19:35

this woman, she's the coordinator of

19:37

parking operations. She emailed me back,

19:39

and she said this. Yes, there

19:41

could be other avenues that could

19:43

be explored. However, parking enforcement plays

19:45

a crucial role in ensuring fair

19:47

and efficient use of public parking

19:49

spaces. While parking enforcement does generate

19:51

revenue to make up our annual

19:53

budget, it's an essential service for

19:56

our community to address any obstructions

19:58

on the road, such as driveways,

20:00

laneways, etc. to provide turnover of

20:02

our parking spaces to maximize fair

20:04

use of public assets. Now, I

20:06

guess this seems like a solid

20:08

argument. She's simply saying that we

20:10

need parking fines so that people

20:12

don't just park in the same

20:14

spots forever. Seems correct. But hold

20:17

on. Let's just play that out

20:19

a moment. I'm just playing Devil's

20:21

Advocate here, but let's just imagine

20:23

a city in Australia in which

20:25

all of the parking spots are

20:27

full all of the time. And

20:29

it's really hard to find a

20:31

parking spot. Okay? You got that

20:33

image in your head? Just imagine

20:35

this kind of city for a

20:38

moment. And tell me, how is

20:40

that different from what we already

20:42

have? Maybe I'm being a little

20:44

negative here, but it seems to

20:46

me that most streets, certainly in

20:48

Melbourne, certainly in Sydney, they're jammed

20:50

up with cars most of the

20:52

time. Sure, parking fines might ensure

20:54

a bit of turnover, but who

20:56

gives a shit? Generally speaking, the

20:59

worst case scenario is the scenario

21:01

we already live in, plus, there

21:03

are fines. So if it's not

21:05

local councils that are really benefiting

21:07

from parking fines, then who is

21:09

exactly? So the answer to

21:11

that is, and this may not

21:14

come as a surprise, but private

21:16

enterprise is making a lot of

21:18

money from your fines. So there's

21:20

this new company, and I'm not

21:22

going to name them, but they're

21:24

kind of doing their very best

21:27

at the moment to turn public

21:29

parking into a private gold mine.

21:31

Now this company, they're based in

21:33

Australia, they're actually headquartered here in

21:35

Melbourne, and their mission, according to

21:37

their website, is quote, to make

21:40

the communities we work in more

21:42

livable. That's cute sentiment, but really

21:44

what they're doing is basically licensing

21:46

AI-powered technology to councils to streamline

21:48

parking enforcement into something that's pretty

21:50

lean and ruthless. I find phrasing

21:53

like make the communities we work

21:55

in more livable, you know, that's

21:57

that's nice. It's such a nice

21:59

really hard to argue with, but

22:01

it's kind of just this usual

22:03

corporate double speak about improving lives

22:06

and communities when all they're really

22:08

doing is just maximizing private revenue

22:10

from the public and making people

22:12

sad in the process. It's kind

22:14

of like, I don't know, you

22:16

see the same kind of phrasing

22:18

around pokeys, I think. You know,

22:21

there's companies that are manufacturing and

22:23

distributing and, you know, running this

22:25

giant pokeys racket. And they dress

22:27

it all up in PR, but

22:29

it's still just a shitty business.

22:31

And I don't think, I'm not

22:34

claiming that parking fines are as

22:36

corrosive as gambling. But like I

22:38

said at the top, it's still

22:40

a system that inconveniences people for

22:42

profit. So I'm looking through all

22:44

of this, you know, researching the

22:47

parking industry, and I find this

22:49

thing. And this is my absolute

22:51

favorite worst aspect of the parking

22:53

industry. And it's their awards night.

22:55

Okay, yeah, that's correct. Every year,

22:57

the who's who of Australia's parking

23:00

fine industrial complex come together to,

23:02

quote, celebrate the achievements of organisations

23:04

who attain the highest industry standards

23:06

through the use of technology, customer

23:08

service, and the development of outstanding

23:10

facilities, end quote. The most recent

23:13

awards night in October this year

23:15

features a whole lot of photos

23:17

of people in semi-formal wear drinking

23:19

wine and James Boghs at a

23:21

function room at the Melbourne Soffertel.

23:23

And you can actually find this

23:26

very funny, well I find it

23:28

very funny, very funny, very funny

23:30

clip on YouTube of people at

23:32

this awards night, you know, employees

23:34

of this industry bouncing up this

23:36

stage in slow motion and it's

23:39

got this you know corporate soundtrack

23:41

playing and then they're receiving such

23:43

accolades as the Parking Young Achiever

23:45

Award and the Outstanding Sustainable Car

23:47

Park Award. Anyway, it tickles me.

23:49

And to be clear, I'm not

23:52

laughing at these people. I mean,

23:54

you know, I've got a completely

23:56

silly ridiculous job, but just... finds

23:58

suck, you know? How have these

24:00

people lost sight of that? Anyway,

24:02

I've got to say that reading

24:04

all of this, learning about this,

24:07

watching these YouTube clips, it somehow

24:09

made me feel better about faking

24:11

my way into a parking inspector

24:13

job. Okay, we're going to take

24:15

an ad break here, but coming

24:17

up, I get a job as

24:20

a parking inspector for one day,

24:22

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Financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These

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26:25

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26:34

Welcome back. I'm just about to

26:36

start my job as a parking

26:38

inspector and I'm arriving on my

26:40

very first day feeling nervous. So

26:42

we start the day by getting

26:44

ushered into a large room with

26:46

a whole bunch of other new

26:48

recruits. I'd say there was probably

26:50

around 10 to 15 of us

26:52

and we started by going around

26:54

the room introducing ourselves. Here's what

26:56

I said. Hey,

26:59

I'm Julian. I like being outside, so

27:01

this job appealed to me. Most people

27:03

there mentioned being outside is the major

27:05

drawcard. And there were people there from

27:08

all walks of life. One guy said

27:10

he had recently been made redundant after

27:12

years of working at the casino. Another

27:15

guy had previously worked at an abattoir.

27:17

Another guy was a truck driver. I

27:19

think all of them had a mildly

27:22

disheveled look and I had to notice

27:24

that there were no women in the

27:26

room. Anyway, then the trainer comes in

27:28

and starts to talk us through what

27:31

to expect on the job. You know,

27:33

this is training. So, unsurprisingly, the first

27:35

thing that they start walking us through

27:38

is how to draw on tires. It's

27:40

a crayon, so it's a big sea

27:42

sort of substance. You mark the tires,

27:45

make a new nosebook, one air parking,

27:47

two hour parking, An

27:49

hour later, two hours later you come

27:51

back, check the tire and still there,

27:53

simple issue and encouragement. So far, so

27:55

predictable. But then they got on to

27:58

the topic of conflict. they said, all

28:00

of us could expect to be yelled

28:02

at, spat at, and probably threatened. We're

28:04

not going to sugarcoded, it is what

28:06

it is, and it doesn't happen all

28:08

the time, the conflict, but it can

28:10

happen. Some people have got a head

28:12

for conflict, some people don't have a

28:15

head for conflict. and then they made

28:17

us watch this truly amazing training video

28:19

to illustrate the kinds of conflict that

28:21

we could expect to face out on

28:23

the street. And I've got to say,

28:25

as a guy who quite likes 90s

28:27

nostalgia, I love this video. This video

28:29

was clearly shot on VHS in about

28:31

1997 and it features these two very

28:34

Australian actors demonstrating what can happen out

28:36

there to parking inspectors just trying to

28:38

do their job. What's this, you piece

28:40

of shit? Sorry, as soon as your

28:42

vehicle, is it? Ah, dirt. What do

28:44

you think I'll be fucking a-goin' on

28:46

it for a lot of money, you'd

28:48

get it? Well, I'll just issue the

28:51

infringement notice for this. Like, you fucking

28:53

see it, I don't know why, because

28:55

that machine doesn't work. I checked that

28:57

fucking, if I'm, that machine doesn't work.

28:59

I checked that fucking, if I'm, I'm,

29:01

that machine, if I'm fine. That machine

29:03

doesn't work, I'm fine. That machine doesn't

29:05

work, I'm fine. That machine doesn't work,

29:08

I'm fine. That machine doesn't work, because

29:10

that, that, that, that, that, that machine

29:12

doesn't, that, that machine doesn't, that, that,

29:14

that machine doesn't, that machine doesn't, that,

29:16

that machine doesn't, that, that machine doesn't,

29:18

that, that machine doesn't, that, that, that

29:20

machine doesn't, that machine doesn't All right,

29:22

I won't make you listen through the

29:24

whole thing. You get the point. So

29:27

the morning was about learning how to

29:29

chalk tires and how to de-escalate conflict

29:31

and then we got sent out into

29:33

the real world. They gave us some

29:35

sort of like hand-me-down borrowed uniforms. I

29:37

put on this hat and this sort

29:39

of dacky outfit and then I go

29:41

out there onto the street to start

29:44

choking tires and writing up tickets. And

29:46

this, this was my golden opportunity to

29:48

slip away and waste some time. Can

29:50

I get a schooner of this one?

29:52

Bolto. Yeah. Naturally, I went to the

29:54

pub, dressed in my very cool parking

29:56

inspector uniform. I drank some beers. I

29:58

played some pool by myself. I even

30:01

played a round of. hunter. And basically

30:03

I just sat there and got a

30:05

bit pissed and wasted a few hours

30:07

on their dime. So a few minutes

30:09

ago my phone rang and I'm pretty

30:11

sure it was the parking inspector office.

30:13

They're probably wondering where I've gone. And

30:15

you know what? That makes me feel

30:17

good. And then, after

30:20

a few hours, I went back to

30:22

my car and called the boss to

30:24

quit. And here, I'm actually going to

30:26

bring Darcy back. Remember our intern with

30:29

the 24,000 dollar parking find out? I'm

30:31

going to bring her back in. We're

30:33

going to get her on the line

30:36

to walk through what happened. Darcy? Julian.

30:38

Hi. How have you been? I think

30:40

good. How have you been? I've been

30:42

stressed out, basically, I've been engaging in

30:45

some lightly fraudulent behavior. Lightly fraudulent, that's

30:47

the best time. Yeah, I guess, thank

30:49

you, thanks, thanks for saying that. So

30:52

look, it went well, I mean, you,

30:54

by this point, you kind of, you

30:56

know a little bit about what happened,

30:59

but... I've been made away, yeah. Yeah,

31:01

you've been, you've heard a bit about

31:03

it. So I just wanted to play

31:05

you a video of me quitting because

31:08

this is kind of like, this is

31:10

the grand finale, this is the big

31:12

moment, but it didn't quite go as

31:15

I had hoped. It didn't. Oh no.

31:17

Yeah, I was kind of hoping for

31:19

this guy to be furious. I was

31:22

hoping that he was going to be

31:24

like, oh god damn it, you've wasted

31:26

our time and money. That's what I

31:28

wanted to happen. But instead, something else

31:31

happened. So I'm just going to show

31:33

you the video and then I just

31:35

want your take on it. Oh God,

31:38

okay. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Yeah,

31:40

hey. Sorry? No, no, I'm not. I'm

31:42

not. This is a possibly very, very,

31:45

very bad timing, but I've done some

31:47

thinking and I don't want to do

31:49

job. I'm sorry. That's fine buddy. It's

31:51

up to you. You don't have to

31:54

take it. So that's that's incredibly nice

31:56

of you. I feel like I feel

31:58

like you might have I've you know

32:01

I kind of wasted your time a

32:03

bit. But it's one of those things

32:05

you know it's probably better you come

32:07

to that realization now than being here

32:10

for like four days and then to

32:12

side chuck it in because you know

32:14

that would be a It wouldn't benefit

32:17

you or I so it's probably good

32:19

you're up front and you told me

32:21

now so it's not a Don't stress

32:24

about it buddy. I'll cancel all the

32:26

stuff through the system and Yeah, I

32:28

hope you find what you're looking for

32:30

my friend. That's that's really nice. I've

32:33

got to say I've done this this

32:35

emotional thing where I've been like, you

32:37

know, just give people parking fines and

32:40

you know, like it makes people mad.

32:42

I was like, do I want to

32:44

do I want to do that and

32:47

I do that and then I was

32:49

like getting all my head That's

32:53

true. That's true. I was going

32:55

to say, I was getting in

32:57

my head about how it's kind

32:59

of like, maybe a bad industry,

33:01

but then I call you up

33:03

and you're really nice about it.

33:05

I'm like, oh, actually, no, people

33:07

like US seem to be really

33:09

nice. But, uh, look, it's not,

33:11

but, look, it's not a bad

33:13

industry. But as I said, you

33:15

know, it's not for everybody, you

33:17

know, some people, I'm quite happy

33:19

to do, so, so, you know,

33:21

yeah. That's

33:29

great. Thanks. I appreciate that. You take

33:31

care of my friends. See you mate.

33:33

Bye. Oh, he had a soul. Yeah.

33:36

Yeah, that's devastating. I know. I know.

33:38

I know. But I guess at the

33:40

same time also like he like your

33:43

supervisor and the role isn't the problem

33:45

right? It's the system. Yeah, yeah, that's,

33:47

uh, say more about that. I mean,

33:50

I think it makes sense because the

33:52

little guy you know, putting the fine

33:54

out at the end of the day,

33:57

that's not the guy that has it

33:59

out for you, that's not the guy

34:01

that's like using you as a revenue

34:04

stream. They're just doing what we all

34:06

do, which is trying to survive, trying

34:08

to pay the rent, trying to have

34:11

enough money to buy a carton at

34:13

the end of the week, like something

34:15

like that. Yeah, people good system bad.

34:18

It's like there's much bigger bureaucratic things

34:20

that drive this and I feel like

34:22

the people that are on the ground

34:24

giving you a parking fine, they don't

34:27

have a problem with you, they're just

34:29

trying to do that job. I had

34:31

this vision of the perfect ending for

34:34

this podcast where he was a real

34:36

dick about it. And everyone listening or

34:38

watching this would be like, yeah, I

34:41

knew it. These guys are dicks, but

34:43

instead he flipped the whole thing on

34:45

his head by being lovely. I can

34:48

see you fighting for that ending as

34:50

well, but he was just so understanding.

34:52

And even when you were like, oh,

34:55

what did you say? Something along the

34:57

lines of like, you know, I don't

34:59

know if it's a good industry. And

35:02

then he was like, oh, that's not

35:04

for everyone. Sounds like he's already stomaching

35:06

some guilt for what they do. So

35:08

I know. Yeah. She was right. I

35:11

really was fighting for that ending. But

35:13

actually, I think that Darcy gave me

35:15

a better ending. She's 100% correct that

35:18

the problem with parking fines isn't the

35:20

parking inspectors themselves. It's the whole system.

35:22

And I often come to this place

35:25

doing this podcast where I'm hearing stories

35:27

about decent people who are doing bad

35:29

things for one system or another. And

35:32

I think that's just something that's sort

35:34

of innate. It's an innate contradiction in

35:36

humanity. There are so many good people

35:39

who work bad jobs for good reasons.

35:41

Like they just want to feed their

35:43

kids. And from what I saw in

35:46

the training session that morning, those guys

35:48

on the ground, you know, those guys

35:50

issuing parking fines, they're kind of the

35:52

victims too. You know, imagine getting yelled

35:55

at every week of working

35:57

life for only about

35:59

$75 ,000 a year. thanks. And

36:02

you know what? This is you

36:04

know what? This

36:06

is a different topic, but I think this

36:08

is a good way to wrap this

36:10

up. I So I got a parking fine

36:13

last week. I And I know, I know,

36:15

you'd think I would have learned, but that's

36:17

not what this is about. It's not

36:19

about learning. about. It's This is about feeling a

36:21

little less like the system has me

36:23

over a barrel. a And that's exactly how

36:25

I felt. You know, I got this fine,

36:28

I exactly picked I up this fine, I held

36:30

it in my hand I held it noticed that

36:32

this fine was just a fraction of what

36:34

the system had spent on me to

36:36

go to the pub to the pub and an afternoon

36:38

drinking beers, which is exactly

36:40

what I wanted to achieve. By

36:45

the way, we're gonna be putting

36:47

some highlights highlights from this episode up

36:49

on was soon. There was lots of

36:51

visual stuff. I made lots of little

36:53

videos along the way. That's what

36:55

it was like That's the handle on

36:57

on TikTok. We're going do this episode as

36:59

like a full full thing as well.

37:01

So an eye out for that. Today's

37:03

episode was produced by Rachel Tuffery. It

37:06

It was mixed by Jimmy Saunders,

37:08

who also did our theme music, Daniela Cantu

37:10

and Chloe Stelling are our are our interns shout out

37:12

a huge shout out who came on this

37:14

who came on this episode and has

37:16

also interned with us for the

37:18

last couple of months. months. Darcy, you've

37:20

been incredible. Our cover art

37:22

is by Naomi Lee Beverage this whole

37:24

thing has been a super real

37:26

production. also

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38:39

to deliver joy, beauty, and celebration

38:41

this season. holiday season.