0:00

What up with you ginger fans? Welcome back to the

0:02

show. What's your first time joining the show? Welcome to

0:04

the show. We got a good one for you today,

0:06

like man Steve Harvey Dunsay. Man, I'm

0:08

excited. Over a half a million subscribers,

0:10

thank you guys so much. That means the

0:12

world to me, man. You've been here for

0:14

the ride. I started this channel at like...

0:16

I think 800 subscribers or something like that

0:18

and we grew, we grew, we grew, we

0:20

grew. And it's all because of you, you,

0:23

you. So thank you guys so much. I'm

0:25

doing a couple of dates on tour. I'm

0:27

done because my special comes out in September,

0:29

but I'm doing a couple of pop updates

0:31

here and there. May 22 and 23, May

0:33

22, I'll be in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. For

0:35

two shows in Winnipeg, May

0:37

22, May 23, Edmonton, and

0:40

Winnipeg, go to andersontino.com for

0:42

those tickets, Andrew Santino, Andrew

0:45

santino.com. Also go to Bad

0:47

Friends pod.com to see me

0:49

and Bobby in London on July 18th

0:52

and Dublin on July 19th.

0:54

That's Andrew santino.com

0:56

and Bad Friends pod.com. In

0:58

here, we pour whiskey, whiskey,

1:00

whiskey, whiskey. Let's get started

1:02

because we're fucking 80 minutes

1:04

late. 50 minutes. The ginger

1:06

gene is a good. Ginger

1:08

is a pugel. You only

1:10

$5 for the horse. Ginger

1:13

is all hell now. This

1:15

whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I

1:17

like ginger. Let's get started

1:19

because we're fucking 80 minutes

1:21

late. 50 minutes. 50 minutes.

1:23

50 minutes late. That's where

1:26

my ego is up. It's un-fucking real,

1:28

dude. That's how fucking- I don't know

1:30

for far too long for this kind

1:32

of movie. My name is on the

1:34

wall at the comedy store. Brody Stevens.

1:36

Right. Ladies and gentlemen,

1:38

welcome back to Whiskey Junior. My guest

1:41

today is one of my favorite people on

1:43

earth. I say that for all my- but

1:45

I gotta do it again now. No. You know

1:47

what? You let me step on the fucking

1:49

intro. There's a shit intro, nobody cares. You

1:51

either know me or you don't know me.

1:53

It's Eric Andre who showed up literally 52

1:55

minutes late to the podcast. Well, hold on

1:58

now. I was told to get a nice...

2:00

coffee in the middle of fucking nowhere

2:02

didn't want to go to nowhere I

2:04

didn't want to go to nowhere I

2:06

didn't want to go to everyone did I

2:08

say go to everyone you suggested it

2:11

did I well you know I've never

2:13

stepped foot it was the unspoken I've

2:15

never stepped foot I can tell

2:17

I've never stepped I've never stepped

2:19

I've never stepped I've never stepped

2:22

not a nice I'm nice and slim

2:24

nice and slim not a healthy guy

2:26

not like you tits tits McGee huh

2:28

tits you were that skims You doing

2:31

male skims now? No, no, no. Don't

2:33

start this way with me, dude. You

2:35

don't have me! Don't have me! Don't

2:38

sass me, bitch. You're saying I'm whiskey

2:40

ginger, I'm whiskey ginger, you're drinking water

2:42

like a fucking puss. I, I, I

2:45

fucking polished off half a bottle before

2:47

I got her. Because I'm a fucking

2:49

man. Eric do you want to have

2:52

something to drink? He goes, I'm

2:54

trying to lose weight for this

2:56

movie I'm going to be doing.

2:58

Well, that's off record. I'm doing

3:00

a little movie. Well, that's... And

3:02

I want to lose weight for

3:04

my movie. Because the producers will

3:06

get mad at me if I

3:08

don't stay wait. Oh, yeah. Oh,

3:11

yeah. Oh, yeah. If I don't.

3:13

Get in shape for all the

3:15

Rockies. He's being. Thumbels. Lift

3:17

some smart bells, dude. Classic. Lift some

3:19

smart bells, dude. I already hear you editing

3:21

that out. All right, give me a proper

3:24

intro. What the fuck is this? Ladies and

3:26

gentlemen, welcome, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My

3:28

guest today is one of my favorite people.

3:30

I know they're saying that for all, I

3:33

guess my name wants to get today. It's

3:35

Eric Andre. One of my oldest friends, one

3:37

of my, one of my sweet princes of

3:39

comedy. A king. Thank you. A king of

3:41

comedy, some would say. And you're Julian

3:44

McCulloch, correct? Yeah, I am. This week

3:46

I am up a morning. Opening for

3:48

Nate Bargazzi. Put up some of our

3:50

dates right there. I love Julian and

3:52

he has a... He does open for

3:54

Nate, right? I don't know. I haven't

3:57

seen him in a decade, but he

3:59

has a tattoo. of a butterfly that

4:01

he got when he was 19

4:03

years old on his chest. And

4:05

he's super diverse about it. So

4:07

any time you see him bring

4:09

it up. Julian McCulloch, shout out

4:11

to Julian, his butterfly tattoo, what

4:13

color is it? It's rainbow colored

4:16

like a fucking Mariah Carey CD,

4:18

fucking cover. Whoa, dude! He posted

4:20

it. He went through a break

4:22

up when he was 19 and

4:24

he got it on a whim.

4:26

And it's not in a flattering,

4:28

flattering. The middle age is about

4:30

it. That's like the last part

4:33

we want to show our girlfriend

4:35

or wife. Under your tits, but

4:38

above your belly? Between your tits.

4:40

The taint of a man's soul.

4:42

This is your chest taint? What

4:45

is this called? What is this

4:47

called? Sternum? Sternum, yeah. The sternum

4:49

flight. The perineum of the... My

4:52

perineum sternum, my sternum perineum. You

4:54

still married or your wife walked

4:56

out on you? She killed. She

4:59

killed at the comedy store? She

5:01

killed at the comedy store.

5:03

Didn't answer the right question,

5:05

but you know what? She

5:07

crushes, dude. She's on the

5:09

line. I'll tell you what,

5:11

he sees me around. Get

5:13

away from my wife's, my

5:15

girlfriend, I can't do a hater.

5:17

Why don't you, um, haters like

5:19

this and thing? You're not married.

5:21

You should be, dude. This is

5:23

better. Are you gonna fall in love

5:26

at some point, dude? Yeah. You got

5:28

a little love of your life

5:30

right now. I'm falling for someone.

5:32

Yeah. I'm falling for 15 years,

5:34

then I have a fucking single

5:37

kid. No kids, we can't, we

5:39

can't have kids. Oh, it's a

5:41

sore anymore, heeled. Why don't you

5:43

do artificial whatever in

5:45

utero? Insemination? Whatever that

5:48

Nirvana album is. Insemination. Are

5:50

you shooting blanks or she's got

5:52

some issues? It's a you know

5:54

what it really is? It's combo

5:56

platter of we haven't had sex

5:58

since 99. It's tough. Dude, and you

6:00

never will again. You never will would

6:02

you adopt or do a fucking science?

6:04

I would adopt I want to find

6:06

a limbless kid to bring into the

6:08

house We have

6:10

stairs. It's funny to watch Do

6:15

you really play golf because I asked you to

6:17

play golf all the time you never fucking take me

6:19

I don't to play with you. Why I'm good.

6:21

I'm really good The difference not that

6:23

good difference is staggering. Are you

6:25

really actually can you play? Oh, yeah? Okay,

6:28

so what I heard I've

6:31

heard mixed things come on Come

6:33

on Give me one

6:35

name at least John sacks says

6:37

you don't know really Yeah, I'm

6:40

gonna call my agent right now. I'm gonna call our mutual

6:42

agent right now and yell at him Yeah, he says I

6:44

heard you he says that you know you

6:46

still give those guys 10 % I Give

6:49

him 90 % I'm not good

6:51

at business You

6:56

decide what you think is fair Just

6:59

give it to me. Keep the rest. Yeah, I I

7:02

love playing golf. We do need to go play golf, but you're

7:04

dude. Come on. Don't lie. You're a busy guy You can't play

7:07

this like let's play golf. You don't when can you play golf?

7:09

Name a name. I always have a birthday.

7:11

It's crazy birthday party. I come to your

7:13

birthday When was the last time you kid my

7:15

birthday two years ago? I couldn't go this year because I was

7:18

out of town In

7:20

New York no two three. Okay. No,

7:22

I went to the one downtown. I've had 20

7:24

birthday parties You come to one. That's disrespect.

7:27

All right every time I invite you I just come

7:29

to your Bert didn't I just come to your barbecue.

7:31

I came to your barbecue dude And I helped carry

7:33

ice upstairs. Yeah, but you were talking about showbiz the

7:35

whole time the whole time I was like, how can

7:37

we monetize this ice? Selling

7:40

I see your friends on acid Because

7:43

some dude showed up ripped on acid to your house.

7:45

I thought that was wild to show up on acid I

7:48

take it there makes sense But show up is kind

7:50

of cool show up because you don't know what you get

7:52

into but then see I then I want to I want

7:55

to I want to assess the

7:57

situation then take it. Yeah tripping you

7:59

want to like assess and see if it's like the

8:01

proper environment is it the right true how much

8:03

is it the right crew how much you want

8:05

to take and then you take what you

8:07

think is appropriate I don't think I could

8:09

do acid anymore by the way no mushrooms I

8:12

can still do I'm gonna do it all the

8:14

time tomorrow but acid I it's too strong it

8:16

scares the it scares the shit out there the

8:18

last couple times I did it I did it

8:20

I was like this is it I can't no

8:22

more do you you still had that feeling that

8:24

you might you might not that you might not

8:26

go back No, it wasn't that I was

8:28

just like this is so damn

8:30

strong and so long and it

8:32

feels like chemicals in my body

8:34

I don't feel relaxed I don't

8:37

feel social like I want if

8:39

I want to do a drug I

8:41

want to be more social not anti

8:43

social and I want it to

8:45

do Have some capacity to reduce

8:47

my anxiety so I can enjoy it

8:50

Mushroom's actually reduced my anxiety, but acid

8:52

it makes me like It's like if

8:54

you watch every Renn and Stimby episode,

8:56

like composite and over each other, yeah.

8:58

A super cut? I can do, I

9:00

can't do, I can't do, I don't

9:03

think I'll ever do it again. I

9:05

think high school was the last time

9:07

I tried, but I'm doing mushrooms in

9:09

two days and I'm excited. Oh nice,

9:11

mushrooms all the time, but I'm gonna

9:13

go, but I'm gonna go deep again.

9:15

The last time I went a little like surfacy.

9:18

Took a little bit. I want to go to

9:20

a space. I'm going to see The Dead and

9:22

Company again. Have you seen them? Never. Dude, it's

9:24

one of the best shows I think I've ever

9:26

seen it. Yeah, I want to go check it out.

9:28

It's amazing. I went last year. I can't get into

9:30

their music, but I could do this year. You would

9:32

get into their music, you would get into their music,

9:34

you would, it's very chill. You would like it in

9:36

the sense that it's passive, if you're not really trying

9:38

to get into it, it, it, it, it, it's not

9:40

really trying to, it, it, it, it's not, it's not,

9:43

it's not going to, it's in, it's not going to,

9:45

it's not going to, But I'm excited to go see

9:47

the sphere and see the new show again because I

9:49

went once and I remember going and I was like,

9:51

this is going to be whatever. And then I

9:53

got out and I was like, nope, that's the

9:55

greatest lot. That is, every concert needs to be in

9:57

a... And the sphere loses money every year. It's

9:59

like... Fuckin bottomless pit, so I think like you

10:01

have to go now cuz it's gonna go bankrupt

10:03

send but they're building like five Are they building

10:05

more around the world? I thought they were building a bunch

10:08

more. No, it's Like

10:12

I started with one

10:14

girl with a tent

10:16

people like Someone

10:18

did like you know that long dick black guy that

10:20

sits on the bed edge of the bed They were

10:22

like all right started there and it went to like

10:26

911 January six videos There's one other

10:28

that's being built in Abu Dhabi Abu

10:30

Dhabi that one would never go to

10:32

that one will last forever Abu

10:34

Dhabi will last forever dude Abu Dhabi will

10:36

be here forever. Thank God by the

10:38

way. I don't know I Have zero

10:40

opinion about you're not an Abu Dhabi

10:42

guy. I don't know where Abu Dhabi

10:44

we have an apartment in Abu Dhabi

10:46

know what Abu Dhabi is. I don't

10:49

know why you're so excited about Abu

10:51

Dhabi Couldn't tell

10:53

you one second real fast.

10:55

We got to cut to an

10:57

ad. Hey, are you thinking

10:59

about traveling internationally? We are going

11:01

to be opening up a

11:03

new sphere here in Abu Dhabi

11:05

in 20 27 use promo

11:07

code Eric Andre All right I

11:09

was like there's a timed ad like it's

11:11

live. Yeah, we got to cut right into

11:13

it, bud. Now is this

11:16

Why don't you change the

11:18

name of whiskey ginger to bill

11:20

Mars party random club random?

11:22

Well, that's because I don't

11:24

feel like it

11:26

I Have

11:28

you done it show

11:32

Yeah, he wants me to he's asked us

11:34

to do it. I know thank you. I

11:37

don't want to go I don't know. I

11:39

also don't want to get high and drunk

11:41

with and then get into like a fucking

11:43

argument I feel like that's a show you get to

11:45

an argument on. I don't want to go get an argument

11:47

and get stoned Oh, you have to get

11:49

stoned. You don't have to but that's like his whole thing,

11:51

right? Doesn't he drink and get high the whole time just

11:53

don't get high. Yeah, but I would

11:55

want to I can't be

11:58

high in public never Nope.

12:00

Well, you can only get high

12:02

at the house? Yeah. Really? Why?

12:04

Paranoid and social is on

12:06

my drug. Oh, it's funny because

12:09

it's the opposite for me. No.

12:11

For me, I do like a

12:13

weed gummy to sleep, but not

12:15

for any social. Not for go

12:18

out and hang out? Not at all.

12:20

Only booze. Boos. Boos. Mushrooms.

12:22

Tell me the Jamaican Rum

12:24

story. You're going to bring

12:26

me Jamaican. We can rewind

12:28

the whole thing. I don't

12:30

think we have it on

12:32

tape, dude. Oh, well, good

12:34

thing I was recording before

12:36

I got in. Oh shit!

12:39

Jomé account rum! That's my

12:41

leprecanis. Africanis leprecanis! Are you

12:43

bummed that you have a

12:45

podcast? Eric Andre has a

12:47

podcast, by the way. It's

12:49

called bombing. Bombing. I don't

12:51

know why you won't do it. No,

12:54

I get your numbers up, but uh

12:56

bombing I am gonna come over and

12:59

do it. What is you talking about

13:01

the first time I bombed that's what

13:03

it is? It does have to be

13:05

the first time you bombed. It's like

13:08

the worst bombs first time you bombed

13:10

your day job when you were young

13:12

bombed, you know Anybody thrown anything at

13:15

you the most fucked up wasted you've

13:17

been on stage? There's all that there's

13:19

so many that was like 30,000. Yeah,

13:22

yeah, yeah, just fucking crank them all

13:24

out. We know who the one You

13:26

should get the girl who's the chick?

13:28

What's her name that passed out and

13:30

hit her head on stage? What was

13:33

her name? Remember she was a Chelsea

13:35

lately girl, and she was like she

13:37

was like, I got two vaccines And

13:39

she passed out like at the improv

13:41

and hit her head on stage. They

13:43

thought it was a bit. Have you

13:46

never seen this? It was real? No.

13:48

What's her name, dude? Heather McDonald. Heather

13:50

McDonald. Yeah, Heather McDonald. You know, Nikki

13:52

passed out on stage from Bilemia? No.

13:54

Like recently? No, like 20 years

13:56

ago. Just knocked out on stage? She

13:58

hit her head again. all that motivation, look

14:01

at her now, she's cruising. It's

14:03

all you need. Well, the other

14:05

reason I brought it up is

14:07

because she talked about it on

14:09

my podcast. Oh, she did? She was

14:11

like, my eating disorder was so

14:14

bad, I like did, I don't know if

14:16

it was the store, like comedy

14:18

magic in Hermosa, and she was

14:20

like, she was like, man, I feel

14:23

crazy. And then she was like, cuckoo,

14:25

head first. I think she like, like,

14:27

full, fucking, fucking, Whoa,

14:29

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

14:31

dude, rewinded it a little

14:34

bit. Whoa. Wait, turn

14:36

the volume up, though.

14:38

Why did she faint? Well,

14:41

I think she was

14:43

dehydrated or something, I have

14:45

no idea. It could be

14:47

all that fucking. Went to

14:50

Mexico twice. Went

14:52

to Mexico. Did shows,

14:54

meet and meet and greet.

14:57

Maybe she's nervous.

15:02

He will laugh, but what? It's

15:04

clearly not a setup. But it

15:06

gets me every time. I don't

15:08

know why. Wait, when did that

15:11

happen? Why? Why did that happen?

15:13

In the middle of COVID, I

15:15

don't know. What was it? February

15:17

2022 at the Tempea improv. 2020-22

15:19

Tempe improv. Why did that happen?

15:21

How long is she out for?

15:24

About an hour and a half.

15:26

No, can you imagine? But did

15:28

she get up? And later in

15:30

the video? No, no, no, she's

15:32

fine. She talked about it. Not

15:34

as a video fan, it is.

15:37

There's another 30 seconds where I

15:39

just on there. Just on her

15:41

back. Oh my God. By the

15:43

way, my worst nightmare. Honestly, this

15:45

is what we all do. We all

15:47

deserve to die on stage. Just

15:50

so they have that video and

15:52

they tick and they ticked it.

15:54

So casual didn't get go, but

15:56

Jesus loves me. You know, hey,

15:58

we're having fun You ever

16:01

put a little vodka in your

16:03

lemonade? Whatever. She's like making chit

16:05

chat with your mom. And she's

16:07

like, and what else? Come on. I

16:10

don't know why that video gets me every time. That's

16:12

her worst problem. I almost don't to make fun of

16:14

it too much because then the next time I'm

16:16

on stage, I'm going to collapse into a knife. She

16:18

posted it, by the way. She talked it. Oh, she

16:20

did? Oh, okay. She's a comic. She's

16:23

a comic, dude. She's

16:25

a comedian. Stop yelling at me. She's a

16:27

comic, So did you just, you can't drink

16:29

whiskey anymore like you used to? I can. I

16:32

can. I'll drink you on the table. I

16:34

don't. No, that only means because there's a shoot.

16:36

Why did you even come by the house? I make

16:38

you drinks. You know, I drink it on the

16:41

table. There's an active shooter on its way. Get down!

16:44

Oh, you scheduled an active shooter?

16:46

Yeah, every episode. Come on in. I'll

16:49

come over whenever you want. Invite me over, dude. I'll

16:52

come over to the crib. I invite you over all

16:54

the time. You always got some bullshit excuse. You know what

16:56

it is? I'm not like you, dude. I don't get

16:58

active roles in movies and television shows. I have to

17:00

go not true. I gotta go get my money. You're serious

17:02

regular on the bear or some

17:04

shit. I'm on the bear? You are

17:06

now, brother. You're sick, dude. I .L.

17:09

He's locked and loaded. Hello,

17:12

FX. By the way,

17:14

why am I not on the bear? I'm the Chicago kid. Why

17:16

am I not on the bear? You were just a series

17:18

regular on Dave. It was like five

17:20

years ago. And you were a series

17:22

regular on something else? No, dude. Me

17:24

and you and Bernad are doing that

17:26

Hulu fucking prank show. When

17:29

is that happening? I don't know. We've

17:31

Eric and I have been in develop

17:33

development on a show on other things,

17:35

on many things for a good six

17:37

or seven years. Nothing's popped

17:39

out of it. I haven't worked. People are like, why you doing

17:41

this commercial so much? I'm like, have you tried

17:43

to get a job in Hollywood right now? where

17:45

do you want me to be? Yeah, I'm

17:47

like, I had a show at Adult Swim. Adult

17:49

Swim doesn't exist. So now I got to

17:51

look for another job who absorbed your show. Their

17:55

deal was always with Hulu streaming wise. But it's still

17:57

on there, right? Could you still see it on Hulu?

17:59

Yeah. Okay. Eric will never give

18:01

me any credit. I helped pop in

18:03

on the writer's room for his show

18:05

and his movie a few times and

18:07

didn't didn't care to give me any

18:09

sort of like love or credit. Well,

18:12

none of the things you came up with

18:14

made it to. Really, dude? Reberers had

18:16

crossed out all the things you got.

18:18

You mixed all that stuff that I came

18:20

up with? Wow. What bits did you come

18:22

up with? I did one of the

18:24

most popular ones I think the whole room

18:27

loved. I think the whole room loved.

18:29

AT-M-M, the automated teller

18:31

machine machine gun AT-M-M-G,

18:33

automated teller machine machine

18:35

gun, and you get money out and

18:38

it shoots you and you as soon

18:40

as you get money on it shoots

18:42

you and you as soon as you

18:44

get money on my show. That wasn't

18:47

on your show? We did, didn't

18:49

we do that? No. That's a punk

18:51

or something. I've never heard of that. Are

18:53

you sure we did we did that? We

18:55

did that. I'm pretty sure. I don't know

18:57

what's going on with you, dude. I don't

18:59

know what you're fucking talking about. I know

19:01

shit. No shit. No shit, it's fake. Okay?

19:03

You go to Erwan, you get your healthy

19:05

salad, he's 50 minutes late, and then he's

19:07

making fun of my fake bits, dude. Can

19:09

I tell you something? We would do a

19:11

bit like that, I know. We would do

19:13

a bit, yeah. 100, 100, we did, actually,

19:15

we did come up with a bullshit ATM,

19:17

a bullshit ATM bit for the movie, for

19:19

the movie, for the movie, for the movie, for

19:21

the movie, and we never, and we never, and we

19:23

never, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I

19:25

don't, I don't. You really you're the best

19:28

I don't remember what we did. You're

19:30

the best we were there for a

19:32

short period of time No, we want

19:35

to do a show together. It's impossible,

19:37

dude. It's literally impossible. No, I don't

19:39

put that out in the universe. It's

19:41

so hard. It's hard, but we got

19:43

a fucking Who do you who do you leave

19:46

it up to? Do you just make it? Should

19:48

we just make something? We can make

19:50

snow white this first one didn't do good.

19:52

We'll do our do our birdie I

19:54

don't know how 400 million dollar budget I

19:56

think it made 80 million so far 100 million

19:58

they spend on the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they

20:01

might have gone like too old Yeah, but

20:03

no one wanted to the dwarfs

20:05

are so expensive to the dwarf

20:07

union is lit No one wanted

20:09

to no one wanted to go out

20:11

and see it. I think people I

20:13

just think there's so much shit out.

20:15

I don't know. It's also such an

20:18

old intellectual property like snow white is

20:20

from like before my grandma was alive,

20:22

you know, so it's like steamboat Mickey's

20:25

coming back outside Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

20:27

they might have gone like too old

20:29

Didn't they just redo another one

20:31

that did that did okay? What did

20:34

Disney just do before this? That's all

20:36

they're doing now is just remakes. Yeah,

20:38

but they did one that was really

20:40

old like this too. Snow White's probably

20:43

one of their oldest properties. No, they

20:45

did Soul. That was an remake. So,

20:47

well, yeah, but that was a remake.

20:49

So, oh yeah, but that was 2020 though.

20:51

That was a remake. That was 2020, yeah,

20:54

but that was 2020. Yeah. But then eventually,

20:57

I think it was 20 2008. That

20:59

was 2020. That's my agent, it's my

21:01

new agent. Snow White, no I'm sure

21:03

it's going to end up doing it.

21:06

Snow White was the first future-length. $400

21:08

million, 80 million so far,

21:10

but it'll probably do well. The

21:12

kids like that kind of stuff.

21:14

And that's worldwide, domestic's only

21:16

40 million. It'll be huge

21:19

overseas. I saw a neuro over the

21:21

weekend. Whatever, right? Not enough sex

21:23

work. They said that at the Oscars, they

21:25

were like that you want to know a

21:28

fucking dozy. Huh. Two years ago,

21:30

Jesse Eisenberg calls me. No,

21:32

he was gonna ask you to be

21:35

in that movie and asked me

21:37

offered me the role that Kieran

21:39

Kolkin got the Oscar for I

21:42

Read the script I was like, I

21:44

don't know if I want to go to

21:46

Poland All my Jewish side

21:48

is Polish Jews that got

21:51

cooked in the concentration camps.

21:53

God bless so jobless so

21:56

I was like That seems really miserable and not in

21:58

my lane. I read the script, I was like... to

22:00

go to Poland for six weeks and

22:02

shoot a movie where we're just babbling

22:04

about the Holocaust seems like a bummer

22:06

and I want to focus on. That

22:08

was the original title, Babbling about the

22:10

Holocaust. Holocaust Babbling. I was like, you

22:13

know, I appreciate the offer. I'm sure

22:15

it's going to be great. And it

22:17

was like, you know, it was very

22:19

low budget. I was like, appreciate the

22:21

offer. I'm sure it's going to be

22:23

great. I don't think that's what I'm

22:25

looking for right. I'm looking for right

22:28

now. One an Oscar for the role

22:30

I passed on. And it's only I

22:32

get offered rolls constantly. I'm not fucking

22:34

Leonardo to Capricock. You're my boy.

22:36

It's well once in a while I get

22:38

off a roll and I said no to

22:41

one of the only times I've been offered

22:43

a roll. But it sure didn't do it.

22:45

It wasn't gonna get you an Oscar. I

22:47

know it's not one to one. It's not

22:49

guarantee. He got the Oscar. Yes. Thank you.

22:51

But it still stings. When you're when you're

22:53

when you're watching. You're watching

22:55

Hollywood Burn, you're watching America

22:58

burn, and then you're like,

23:00

and you're watching the Oscars

23:02

and you're like, oh, maybe I should

23:04

have taken that. You showed up for

23:07

sure. If he called you, why didn't you,

23:09

why did you say no? The Poland thing

23:11

fucked you up? No, I was just like,

23:13

this is a lot of work. It was

23:15

a lot of work for something I'm

23:18

not totally sure I'm right for, and

23:20

I want to focus on. a movie

23:22

that got pushed 50 times

23:24

because of all the strikes

23:26

that I couldn't have predicted.

23:28

I think we should strike

23:31

again if I'm being honest.

23:33

I think we stroke enough.

23:35

Keep on striking. Keep on

23:37

striking. That's a steely dance.

23:39

Keep on striking. Keep on

23:42

striking. Get in the streets

23:44

and cut down the trees. Yeah, I

23:46

think we should strike again. It helped.

23:48

We go into a strike. We go in

23:50

a double strike. And then LA burns to

23:52

the ground. Yeah, what did we think was

23:54

going to happen? We think this was the

23:57

move. We did it, and now we're fucked.

23:59

It doesn't matter. It was a strike

24:01

to stop AI and AI, I

24:03

was like, I'm not stopping. It

24:05

is crazy to think you're going

24:07

to fight, like we're going to

24:09

stop technology. Technology is like, brother.

24:11

Brother. Brother, we got you. It's

24:13

over. Oh, your union's upset? Good

24:15

luck. Let's fuck it over. Humanity

24:17

is over. The robots took over.

24:19

Bob Eiger is fully AI now.

24:21

He's just all AI at his

24:23

desk. What movie should I create

24:25

today? Which property should we redo?

24:28

Assistance, come in here now,

24:30

please. And the assistants are

24:32

just those robots that deliver food

24:34

on the street then. Yeah,

24:36

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24:38

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24:47

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24:49

I got cash, because I knew

24:52

I just wouldn't go shopping

24:54

if I didn't have cash. I went

24:56

there, I saw someone I recognized, a

24:58

friend of mine, and I went, I

25:00

went, I went home. I left. And

25:02

shopping is tough and figuring out your

25:04

style is very hard. I've been all

25:06

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25:08

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25:23

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25:25

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25:27

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25:29

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25:31

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Ginger. I like Ginger's. I've never seen one

27:00

of those actually make a delivery. I've

27:02

never ever seen one. I've never like bing

27:04

bong. Oh, my food's here. It's a robot

27:06

bugging. Where are those going? They're a crock

27:09

of shit. Where are those going? How are

27:11

they bringing the doorbell? How are they getting

27:13

a hold of you? By the way, almost

27:15

every house, especially in West Hollywood, when I

27:18

see them in West Hollywood. All houses have

27:20

like upstairs or something. You know, I mean,

27:22

no way. What do you mean? I don't,

27:25

I don't buy it. I don't buy it.

27:27

I don't buy it either. It's same thing

27:29

in New York when I see them in

27:31

New York. I'm like, no, where?

27:34

It's going to the front of

27:36

the apartment and then what? And

27:38

then how is it? You, that you're

27:40

upstairs? Yeah. Come again. Just

27:42

leave it. Just leave it there.

27:44

You have to yell out your

27:47

window the robot. Sparking. Smarking. Tashes

27:49

on fire. Rain. Fucking pours down.

27:51

As the thing opens, whoo! It

27:53

opens up just pouring down rain.

27:55

Your shit sauce. A puppy gets

27:57

caught in the fucking thing. Electigated.

28:00

Sparkles, no! Oh, this is cutting

28:02

as fucking. Oh, dude. Yeah, I

28:04

don't buy that shit. No, I

28:06

think it's bullshit every time I

28:08

see it. It's for optics, you

28:10

know what I mean? It's for

28:12

like, see, we're doing it, we're

28:14

doing it, we're making, yeah. But

28:16

also, I got to cut down

28:18

on, my Uber eats, like, when

28:20

I'm running around on a busy

28:22

night, I order something for the

28:25

house, I realize as I clicked

28:27

yes the other day. I like

28:29

made a bill to sell it

28:31

or some bullshit and it was

28:33

$42 because of all the cert

28:35

you know like they have like

28:37

it's like what's it surge charges

28:39

and then the it's everything I

28:41

was like that's impossible that that's

28:43

a $40 a bagel is fucking

28:45

as fucking as it's fucked up

28:47

as fucking it's fucked up as

28:49

I clicked that I thought I

28:51

got to stop that that's stupid

28:53

I should just walk into Trader

28:55

Joe's going on over there Every

28:57

time I go on, it's owned

28:59

by TJ Miller. He really, does

29:01

he, seriously? Creator Joe's, TJ Miller.

29:03

Yeah, that's what, that's what TJ

29:05

stands. Trader Joe's Miller. His name

29:07

is Trader Joe's, Miller. And we

29:09

should open up a cup, shot

29:11

the clerk in Trader Joe's, do

29:13

you remember that? This dude killed

29:15

his grandmother, ran for his life,

29:17

the cops chased him into Trader

29:20

Trader Joe's, he held a fucking...

29:22

Clerk at gunpoint and the cop

29:24

was like oh and shot the

29:26

fucking Twitter jokes clerk instead of

29:28

the murderer He's hold on music.

29:30

Do you want a bag? Did

29:32

you bring your own bag? That's

29:34

fucking crazy. I think I was

29:36

like an eating meanie money Wow!

29:38

My first day on the job

29:40

my boss is gonna kill me

29:42

Smith, get in here! Did you

29:44

shoot a traitor Joe's clerk? Did

29:46

you shoot the murderer or the

29:48

hostage? They look the same!

29:50

Boss, hear me

29:52

out, I can

29:54

explain. All right,

29:56

two weeks paid

29:58

vacation. Suspension, I

30:00

mean. Get out

30:02

of here. Promotion,

30:04

promotion. You run

30:06

this joint, take

30:08

my badge. You're

30:10

the chief now. That's

30:14

how it works, I just hand it off. Who's

30:16

got the most mojitos? You, you're

30:19

the chief now. Let's open up

30:21

one across the street. You shot

30:23

and killed the hostage. Called Trader

30:25

Joe's, T -R -A -I -T -O -R, Trader

30:27

Joe's. We just go against everything

30:29

Trader Joe's did. Nothing's

30:31

organic. We

30:34

refuse to give you bags. Yeah,

30:36

they spray pesticides on the food. Right

30:38

in front of your face. You

30:40

walk, all the beef is open, nothing's

30:42

pre -packaged. Gotta grab it and go,

30:44

dude. This is Trader Joe's. Have

30:48

you been to one of those stores in New York in the

30:50

Amazon where you pick it up and there's no cash, there's

30:52

no clerks, you can just walk out. And

30:54

it turned out there was like 500

30:57

Indian dudes like monitoring him with

30:59

videos, they did that at a cost. It's so

31:01

creepy. It's not, it wasn't actually any AI or

31:03

robotics. No, but they had, it was all human

31:05

beings. It was by Union Square or something like

31:07

that. And didn't they try it for like a

31:09

month? I think was a disaster. Did it go

31:11

away, right? Didn't the Amazon take away store? don't

31:13

think it made any, I think it was a

31:15

total fucking. Dude, I saw a woman steal last

31:17

night out of CVS and it's so funny that

31:19

the guy was harassing the woman, he

31:21

had his camera. She stole

31:24

and he worked there late night shift and he's like,

31:26

yeah, yeah, yeah, the cops are gonna come and she

31:28

was like, get out of here, leave me alone, leave

31:30

me alone. And he's like, just go, two bottles of

31:32

body wash, two bottles of body wash and stick it

31:34

to your odorant. Right here, here she goes, she's done

31:36

this before, she's doing it again, he's like videotaping her.

31:38

And then as he's like walking in, I'm walking in,

31:40

he's like, let, you know, she's walked away. And

31:43

I was like, body wash? Yeah. Let that

31:45

one go, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's beneficial for

31:47

everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What you see, what

31:49

are you gonna save old spice? Like,

31:52

let her steal some fucking body wash. You know

31:54

I mean? yeah. What, she stole body wash? Yeah. Let

31:56

that one, dude, you're getting paid. You should give

31:58

it away for free. You're getting paid, see. They probably

32:00

aren't treating you well. Let her jack that

32:02

dude. Enjoy the rest of the night. Rip

32:04

open to pack those peanut butter M&M's and

32:07

just kick it for him. Who gives some

32:09

fuck? Who gives a fuck? It was just

32:11

so funny the way he was freaking out.

32:13

I was like, dude, I know you're doing

32:16

your gig, but also like body wash. Yeah,

32:18

it gives a fuck. And the amount of

32:20

the amount of those jobs I had. Where

32:22

someone would be like, oh dude, there's somebody

32:25

blah blah blah blah whatever, I'd be like,

32:27

oh yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't,

32:29

I don't want to be here

32:31

forever. I don't care, I don't

32:33

care at all. I worked at

32:35

a CD store and people would

32:38

steal all the time. No,

32:46

thanks. I'm good. I wore McDonald's

32:48

when I was 15. And the amount

32:50

of stuff that we gave away, and

32:52

people stole, we stole, all my friends

32:54

stole. And I was like, but this

32:56

is the balance. It's fucking like

32:58

eating styrofoam, it doesn't buy anything.

33:01

I was like, this is the

33:03

balance of the world. We should be

33:05

giving away nuggets. Don't they put

33:07

it in the budget for theft? I'm

33:09

sure, McDonald's looked at, I bet

33:11

you they do. I bet you

33:13

didn't. Well, target for sure, target's

33:15

like the best place to steal

33:18

from. It's so big, they don't

33:20

give a fuck. They're like, yeah,

33:22

whatever man. There's the exit. I

33:24

heard they watch you though on

33:26

those self-checkout cameras and they wait

33:28

until you steal enough to constitute

33:31

grand theft and then they like,

33:33

like, fuck you. They physically fuck

33:35

you, they bring you in a

33:37

bath. I love the idea they're all just watching you on those

33:39

cameras, but they're all just getting off to it. It's just a much

33:41

rich executive. It's like, oh yeah, take it. It's like squid games. You

33:43

can't even afford that. Oh yeah, you like that. When they started locking

33:45

up razors and deodor and all that stuff, you know that they love

33:48

that. They love watching people go over and bimbs, bimbam, bam, bam, bam.

33:50

Yeah, what's what's why are they lock? Why are they lockin'a, why are

33:52

they lockin'a, why they lockin'a, they lockin'a, they lockin'a, they lockin'a,

33:54

they lockin'a, they lockin'a, they lockin'a, they lockin'a, they

33:56

lockin'a, they lockin'a, they're like, they're like, they're like,

33:58

they're like, they're like, they're like, they're I have

34:00

no idea. I have no idea. I don't

34:02

get it. There's so much other

34:04

shit to steal. Everything's locked

34:06

up. Nothing's locked up. Everything's

34:09

locked up. Acon. Locks. That was

34:11

what the song was about. The other

34:13

end's locked up. Can't smell no good.

34:15

I remember listening to that song

34:17

locked up and thinking, this guy

34:20

would not last a day in jail.

34:22

He is a tiny dude. That's a

34:24

scary jail sentence. How big is Acon?

34:27

Five five. No fucking way, dude.

34:29

He's a tiny guy. I don't

34:31

think that's true. It comes five

34:33

ten Really? But also they

34:35

always yeah five ten is

34:38

his basketball card. He's real

34:40

estate. He's got five eight.

34:42

How tall is Kevin heart? Five

34:44

four Five two You think so?

34:46

I just had lunch with five

34:48

five? Yeah, five four. No, look

34:50

look look look deeper down the

34:53

line. Do it's a some report

34:55

say five to Other places, they

34:57

five too. Yeah. Wow. Well, you met

34:59

him, you've seen him, you

35:01

know. I don't think I've

35:03

seen him. I'm gonna bring

35:05

measuring tape next time I

35:08

run into him. I'm gonna go,

35:10

Kevin, hold on one second.

35:12

Look at that, dude. Five, three

35:15

and a quarter. How was the

35:17

lunch? Does he pay? Informative.

35:20

Does he pay? Well, he doesn't

35:22

pay. I think Gilis paid. Me,

35:24

Gillis, and my wife were eating

35:27

lunch and then we looked around

35:29

the corner and Kevin was

35:31

there in a business meeting and

35:33

we harassed him. So he... It's

35:36

a pay-for-your-meal. Yeah, I was like,

35:38

come on, dude, break it out.

35:40

I'm so rich, dude. Give me

35:43

some money, Kevin Hart. I

35:45

did a movie with you, man.

35:47

Give me some money. What movie

35:49

did you do with him? It

35:51

won an Oscar. It was like

35:53

three amigos, but

35:56

it was two ways

35:58

of afterwards. Lawberg was

36:01

a train conductor. I was an

36:03

engineer. Imagine guys working on the

36:05

trains, I have no idea what's

36:07

going on. Where do these go?

36:09

Don't worry about it, just work

36:11

on the train. All right, well,

36:13

look at the Jewish people here.

36:15

Is there a holiday or something?

36:17

Yom Kippur? Something like that, man.

36:19

Yeah. It's an event. I'll tell

36:21

you this, going backwards real

36:23

fast. You would have killed it

36:26

in that movie, in that Eisenberg

36:28

movie. Why are you doing that?

36:30

You would have killed it. Why

36:32

would you do that? Why would

36:34

you say that? Why would you

36:36

say that? I could see you've

36:38

been so good. God damn, you

36:40

should have done that movie.

36:43

And that kid's not even

36:45

Jewish. Kolkin. Kolkin? They're

36:47

not Jewish, are they?

36:49

Are the Kolkis Jewish?

36:52

They're Catholic, God bless.

36:54

You could have done that,

36:56

dude. You fucked up? I

36:58

did a movie with Eisenberg and

37:00

he was talking about that

37:02

at lunch. I'm not, I'm not

37:04

making it. My hand to God.

37:07

Why would you delay, why would

37:09

you delay, why would you bury

37:11

the lead? He didn't talk about

37:13

you. He just talked about the

37:15

movie. You were up for two. No

37:17

I wasn't. I'm not Jewish.

37:19

Neither is curing Kering Kolkim,

37:22

my guy. Success? Success? Never

37:24

see that. What? I'm on the first season

37:26

of Lost. And that's not a joke. Really? Wait

37:28

to see the wire. It's gonna fucking blow your

37:30

mind. You know, I got the second season of

37:33

the wire and it was a little boring and

37:35

everybody says you gotta get to the third season,

37:37

but you do have to finish all of it.

37:39

But the second season is boring and everybody says

37:41

you gotta get to the third season. You do

37:44

have to finish all of it. But the second

37:46

season is boring. The best. Soprano's the

37:48

best. Breaking the best. Breaking the best. The

37:50

best. The best. The best. The best. The best.

37:52

The best. The best. The best. The best. The

37:54

best. The best. You're

37:57

not gonna like whatever I say. That's

37:59

true. Happy endings

38:02

with Adam Powley. He's our

38:04

boy. I love Adam. He's

38:06

our boy. I just wanted to

38:08

throw you off. I know.

38:10

I want to throw you

38:12

off. I like cartoons. I

38:14

like running Stimpy, Simpsons. Stimps

38:16

is good. What about live

38:18

action? Live action. So I

38:20

felt pretty good. I like goi

38:23

sunny. Hmm. There's only

38:25

one for me. What? Arrested.

38:27

Oh yeah, it's pretty good. I think it's the

38:29

greatest, I mean, curb is parallel, but arrested

38:32

jokes are so layered that that's what I

38:34

got off of. That it was like a

38:36

joke and a joke and a joke and

38:38

a joke. You know, Mitch Hurwitz, right? He

38:41

would, yeah, in editing, he would ADR jokes

38:43

on the back of people's head. So

38:45

if you're on the back of Jason

38:47

Bateman's head, he would come in his

38:49

studio, write a joke that could. just

38:51

fucking be layered. God, it's so good.

38:53

He was he was he would write

38:55

through the editing process to the very

38:57

end punch up. He would punch up

39:00

constantly until they fucking locked and delivered.

39:02

Did you do arrested? No. I got

39:04

to do one episode in the new

39:06

season. In the new season. It was

39:08

still dope. I was still fucking mind-blown.

39:10

It was me and baby. I like

39:12

two-two-seven. Two-two-seven. Yeah. It was fucking. One of

39:15

those moments where I was so

39:17

nervous. I was so fucking nervous around

39:19

around Hurwitz. I was so nervous. Why don't

39:21

you do a little shot a whiskey?

39:23

I think it was just because I

39:25

respected him so much now. I was

39:28

like, this is like a genius

39:30

comedy writer. You know what I

39:32

mean? It's imitating. It's so interesting.

39:34

But big stars or whatever would

39:36

never ever shake me. I couldn't

39:38

fucking care less. But a guy

39:40

who writes really well and is

39:42

kind of quiet and a little

39:44

bit unknown in the public eye.

39:47

I was like, fuck, this guy,

39:49

he's so intimate. You know, the

39:51

writers are nice. Huh? Riders are

39:53

nice. Some, for sure. Riders are

39:55

nice. No, he's red. Um, the,

39:57

like the, the, the boat, when, when.

39:59

And Joe gets the boat and

40:02

it's the seaward? I was like, that's,

40:04

I mean, it's like one of

40:06

the funniest jokes. It's so good.

40:08

It's so good. It's so good.

40:10

I don't know, everything about that

40:12

show, whenever I go back on

40:14

Netflix, if I'm bored, I'll watch

40:16

that if I really want to, because

40:19

I can't, because I can't, nothing

40:21

now is. Get rid of the

40:23

seaward. I'll leave when I'm good and

40:25

ready. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. Oh,

40:27

it's so good. Transparent

40:29

was way fucking ahead of its

40:31

time. Isn't that crazy? Do you

40:33

think about that now? If that show

40:36

came out now, it probably would

40:38

be 10 times bigger. Yeah. Don't

40:40

you think? Yeah. Isn't that a

40:42

trip? Yeah. It won a bunch of Emmy's

40:44

and I was like, holy shit, that

40:47

was 10 years ago. Yeah. You never

40:49

saw that? You never saw that? You

40:51

never saw that. You never saw it.

40:53

That was 10 years ago? Yeah. You

40:55

never saw that. Let's make up our

40:57

show right now. What can we what are we going

41:00

to do? Are we still talking about

41:02

the detective kind of thing? I think

41:04

so right like hardy voice. I think

41:06

we should do hardy voice. I think

41:08

hardy voice is good because the plot

41:11

is always you'll always have like a

41:13

solid story structure that you can repeat

41:15

every episode because it's like basically CSI.

41:17

It's like Inspector Cluso meets CSI.

41:19

So you want a solid repeatable

41:22

story foundation so you can just add a

41:24

million jokes on top of it you want

41:26

it almost to be like predictable stories so

41:28

you just add a hundred and one jokes

41:31

but I want one you don't you don't

41:33

want it to be like complex plot wise

41:35

you with the plot out of the plot

41:37

wise you with the plot out of the

41:40

plot out of the way so we can

41:42

just fucking do our thing but you know

41:44

how they do the on those shows the

41:47

procedures they take real stories you know how

41:49

they do that like Florida man Florida

41:51

Man murder real interjected into

41:53

the comedy of the show. So it actually

41:55

happened like last night I watched that king

41:58

of Tupolo Is that what it's? Tupelo

42:00

King of Tupelo, you know, that's where Elvis is

42:02

from. Have you not heard of this doc?

42:04

No, it's crazy I've clearly watched nothing. Yeah, what's

42:06

up? What's going on? What are you doing

42:08

at night? You're not

42:10

watching shit. I'm watching a naked

42:12

attraction over and over Eating weed

42:14

gummies so I could sleep sick.

42:17

I'm on like 15 sleep. I

42:19

have such bad insomnia I'm on

42:21

fucking tracidone and weed gummies. What

42:23

is it? insomnia or or like

42:25

can't get like tossing and turning

42:27

at night, but everything whoa see -pat

42:30

machine Sleep apnea. Yep, doggie weed

42:32

gummies Fucking

42:34

this other sleep medication cuvivic It's like

42:36

a bunch of pills and powders and

42:38

potions to get to sleep and stay

42:40

and Martin Screlli owns all that stuff

42:44

The price of sleep

42:47

meds Actually

42:49

I didn't put me to sleep

42:51

at all that's it right there actually

42:53

that's Screlli's He's

42:57

like I'll jack up the I'll put

42:59

you back down the price of a

43:01

remember when he was the most evil

43:03

guy in the Mix it wasn't even

43:05

close. It was like the most hated

43:07

man in America for like nowhere No,

43:09

we're close even Bernie Madoff now when

43:12

you have like that and your tates

43:14

of the fucking come on He loves

43:16

it. You're like, oh those guys were

43:18

fucking a Fisher price I don't know

43:20

what we're dealing with now. Screlli was

43:22

Nestle dude. That's no big deal It

43:24

was crazy how much he I would

43:27

Trump departed like fucking the Boston bottom

43:29

marathon bomber Jeffrey

43:31

Dahmer was alive. He just barred

43:33

and said sir hands or hands. Yeah,

43:35

sir. Yes, sir Just like go

43:37

full fucking edge Lord and these but

43:39

they bombed Boston, but they did

43:41

a good job. They planned it Organized

43:46

and why like

43:48

that? That's what I

43:50

like is organization

43:52

more than I like

43:54

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46:48

Tesla's bombing Tesla's struggling

46:51

it's going down. Is it an e is it

46:53

aye? Because they got pushed around the internet

46:55

There's a phone call with with

46:57

Trump and Elon I saw there was

46:59

one where Vance was talking shit about Elon

47:02

But then Vance claimed that it was

47:04

a no that was aye people That was

47:06

that was aye. That was that was aye

47:08

That's my biggest beef now is now

47:10

these phone calls aren't even gonna be

47:12

fun because they're all fake they're all

47:14

fake I purposely got rid of all

47:17

social media on my phone and I

47:19

had my assistant put a parental lock

47:21

on my app store so I can't

47:23

even download them. Hmm. What's going on

47:25

man? Is everything all right? You're a

47:28

grown man. Wait, why did you do

47:30

that? You don't want to be attached

47:32

to it. I hate, I hate doom

47:34

scrolling. I hate that. What do you

47:36

doom scroll the most? The Instagram or

47:39

TikTok or? No, not TikTok, but Instagram.

47:41

I just, it's so addictive and stupid.

47:43

I'm like, it's so addictive and stupid.

47:45

I'm like, it's a waste and stupid.

47:47

I'm like, it's a waste and stupid.

47:50

I'm like, it's so addictive, it's

47:52

so addictive and stupid and stupid,

47:54

I'll already be out. But, I'll already

47:56

be out, but. A.B. elected me

47:58

as Ginger of the Day. Antonio

48:00

Brown on Twitter. Do you know

48:03

about this when he does like

48:05

Cracker of the Day and all

48:07

this shit? Do you know this?

48:09

I got... What the fuck are

48:11

you talking about? You don't know?

48:13

Antonio Brown, do you know that

48:15

is? Football player? And he's not?

48:17

Football player? And he's not

48:19

well player? And he's not well

48:22

player? And he's not well player?

48:24

And he's not well. He's so

48:26

fun. He's so fun and

48:28

elected white. Really? Just an

48:30

elected white that he's like, shout

48:33

out to this white. It's, a lot

48:35

of times it's trolley. I was ginger

48:37

at the day. Yeah, he ginger at

48:39

me the day. Yeah. That's pretty good.

48:41

It's kind of cool. It feels

48:43

good for a heartbeat. You're also

48:45

like, what's behind that? What's the

48:48

basis of this? But crack of

48:50

the day is pretty good. I

48:52

feel, I don't know if, I

48:54

don't know if, I don't know if, I

48:56

don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

48:58

I don't make her do anything. Okay,

49:01

this is, I'm not, you like that

49:03

too? You see, I put you in

49:05

something. Put you in that corner, dude.

49:07

She doesn't drink whiskey. She

49:09

actually doesn't drink as much

49:12

any, doesn't drink at all

49:14

anymore, really. What would she

49:16

like wine? Vino, if we are

49:18

gonna have anything, yeah, she

49:20

likes wine. I don't strike me as

49:23

a married man. Wow. You seem

49:25

like you play poker and

49:27

you play poker. I play

49:29

poker. I don't play fucking

49:31

poker. You fuck strippers. I

49:33

dive definitely fuck shippers. What

49:35

are they there for? Strip

49:37

clubs fucking no offense. They

49:39

yuck me out like crazy. I

49:41

get real uncomfortable.

49:44

Every time friends want to

49:46

go to one I go to one and

49:48

I'm like, I feel so weird. You're

49:50

gay. Okay. I mean... Is Eric Andre

49:52

calling me out in 2025 finally? Yeah,

49:54

dude. Welcome to the party. I've sent you

49:57

fucking dick picks for years. You want to

49:59

talk about that? Why don't you go to

50:01

a game strip club? Too many guys.

50:03

You're intimidated. Yeah, too. The competition

50:05

is so rich. You're worried about

50:07

like, oh, I'm not working out

50:09

enough. These guys are such a

50:12

great show. These babes are so

50:14

jacked. I'm just on the apps,

50:16

dude. No, strip clubs, you really

50:18

do. Every time I've ever been

50:20

to one. I'm like, I don't

50:22

like it. There's nothing. I'm

50:24

not interested at all. I'm like complete

50:26

that the way you feel about doom

50:29

scrolling I feel about strip clubs where

50:31

I'm like well I'm not getting enough

50:33

from this this is kind of useless

50:35

hmm and it also feel and then

50:37

I feel very strange when they like

50:39

pretend that they like you a little bit

50:41

no well here's the thing it's something I

50:44

can't imagine you married I can't imagine

50:46

you going I love you I love

50:48

you babe oh yeah I love you so

50:50

much yeah I never said that to her

50:52

why would I said that to her That's

50:54

crazy. I can't imagine. By the way, this

50:57

coming from you is wild. Can you, can

50:59

anybody imagine him saying that? What the

51:01

fuck are you talking about? You

51:03

know who you are? Yeah, when

51:05

you go at home, we're like,

51:07

Derek Andre doesn't say I love

51:09

you at night. People don't know

51:11

that you struggle with sleep and

51:13

that you really say I love

51:15

you. They, now they know. I

51:17

can't imagine you like baby, darling,

51:19

you're my soulmate? Yeah. How'd it work

51:22

out? We broke up. Okay. Shits

51:24

on your tits, dude. Baby,

51:26

I love you. No, I'll say stuff

51:28

like, uh, you know, uh... You

51:30

know, you're my favorite bitch.

51:33

They're gonna make me a

51:35

turkey sandwich. I know, I

51:37

do have... He's seen me

51:39

have emotional moments, right,

51:41

babe? He's seen me have

51:43

sweet emotional moments,

51:45

haven't you? Yeah. But

51:48

yeah, that's private. That's for our world.

51:50

Why would I share that to the

51:52

fucking? Like a PDA guy? You're a PDA

51:54

guy. You'll kiss in public. You'll

51:56

get all like... I've kissed in public.

51:58

No, but I mean... Lovey -dovey you'll get

52:00

lovey -dovey and like friend deep French

52:03

and yeah You done it in

52:05

my 20s. See 42 I'm not fucking

52:07

deep deep tongue it and hunting

52:09

in gardens. What are we doing now

52:11

that we're rose bush? What are

52:13

we doing in our 40s now? What's

52:15

next Jack and I don't even

52:17

jack off anymore cuz I'm an antidepressants.

52:19

Oh, yeah jack off once a

52:21

month. How low is your tea? My

52:24

tea was good, but the antidepressants

52:27

fucking how many are you on?

52:32

I Was on just one, but I

52:34

take the trisodone for sleep, which

52:36

is technically it s s SSRI SSRI

52:38

or no, it's like one off.

52:40

It's like SNRI or something So I'm

52:42

kind of on two but one's

52:44

for sleep ones for the regular SNRI

52:47

dude Throwing extra letters. It's some

52:49

some shit. Thanks a lot, Obama Throwing

52:52

an extra letters, dude I'm not

52:54

on antidepressants. I'm letting it take

52:56

control of me Just

53:00

do it. No, no, we just

53:02

handle it Yeah, you're Irish Catholic. Yeah,

53:04

we just handle it. We just

53:06

bury it down until we die until

53:08

we get cancer Bury it till

53:10

you get cancer. Yeah Which one will

53:12

I get? That's really what it

53:14

is That's how we bury all that

53:16

sadness and depression. I had a

53:18

day yesterday been to Ireland Yeah,

53:22

I thought you're Italian Santino You

53:24

can be both check this out

53:26

dude. You're mixed. Yeah, like you

53:28

Not like me. You're so just

53:30

like you whites. So I'm just

53:32

like you Your

53:34

dad follows Italian Yeah,

53:37

Ceciliano. He's a bit of a

53:39

fucking meatball the guy who's kind of

53:41

a yeah, he's a Chicago guy

53:43

Chicago meatball. He's from Schaumburg or what?

53:47

City no, those are all

53:50

those out that's outside the

53:52

city. Oh, he's in the

53:54

loop He's from the city.

53:56

No, he's not from the

53:58

fucking. He's from the fucking.

54:00

He's from Neiman Marcus from

54:02

the miracle mile My dad

54:05

was raised in the water

54:07

top If the great Chicago fire my father lived on

54:09

the fourth floor and he went to Portillo's and he

54:11

dragged the dog to the garden. He goes to cut

54:13

up Mrs. O'Leary's come having burgers this weekend. No he's

54:15

yeah Sicilian and my mother's Irish. Still married or no?

54:18

No dude what the fuck? You fucking out

54:20

of your mind dude? How many friends

54:22

you have in your fucking 40s or

54:24

parents are still together? You

54:26

can name three maybe? What were

54:28

we talking about? Does marriage don't

54:31

work? Didn't work for that generation

54:33

because it was insane. Because they

54:35

got married to people they weren't supposed

54:37

to get married to and then they

54:39

were like, you better, if you get

54:41

a divorce, we'll kill you. So they

54:43

got out, they ran away from home.

54:45

The baby boomer generation got married, I

54:47

think out of fear. That's a scale

54:49

I'd like to see from a sociological

54:52

perspective baby boomers probably got divorced like

54:54

my dad went to prison You're like

54:56

you're fucking what are you 27 you

54:58

don't have a family you're fucking loser. Yeah,

55:00

yeah I don't think I think the divorce rates

55:03

have stayed probably the same it's just

55:05

the reason that people got divorced are

55:07

different now That's a scale I'd like

55:09

to see from a sociological perspective. Like

55:11

my dad went to prison what yeah,

55:13

my dad was in prison when I was a

55:15

kid yeah trouble with drugs. He's an addict what

55:18

kind of drugs Only the good

55:20

ones. Well, good thing that

55:22

you, um, drink, uh, fucking

55:24

gallons of whiskey a fucking

55:26

day. Why don't? Isn't that

55:28

the exchange, Eric? Could have

55:30

fucking fooled me. I'm looking

55:33

at the entire, uh, Bevmo

55:35

over here. My dad loved

55:37

cocaine. That was his vice.

55:39

You never did it, Donna.

55:41

Never touched it. Because you

55:43

were scared that you was

55:45

in the blood. Scared that

55:47

would have loved it. You would

55:49

probably love it. Oh, yeah, dude. It

55:51

goes well with whiskey never touched

55:53

it Never I was never interested.

55:55

You gotta do it once. No,

55:58

not interested. How do you know?

56:00

Because I know it ruined my

56:02

childhood. What the fuck? Pretty cut

56:04

and dry. How do you know

56:07

it's bad dude? Did it like

56:09

fuck up your entire use? Maybe.

56:11

But your mom didn't do it?

56:13

Yeah, she did, dude. She's a

56:16

little bump queen. She still does

56:18

it. Shout out to mom's be

56:20

bumping. Shout out to mom's.

56:22

No, she never did. Your

56:24

parents were fucking. No, she

56:26

never was a big party

56:28

animal. My dad, but he was just

56:31

young, they got together young and

56:33

then he just fucking was like,

56:35

I'm not gonna stop partying

56:37

because we're having a kid and

56:40

getting married. My mom was like,

56:42

what? How to get arrested? He got

56:44

to get arrested. How did he

56:46

get arrested? How did he get arrested?

56:48

How did he? How did he? How

56:50

did he? How did he? How did

56:53

he got arrested? My dad was like,

56:55

a scod free, he got free, he

56:57

got a couple of times. He had

56:59

to go back, some guys back that,

57:01

he missed a few guys, he had

57:04

to go back and say hi

57:06

again. He's like, dude, I'm back,

57:08

baby. A couple, only a

57:10

few times. Are you prepared

57:12

still alive? Yeah. So what shape

57:15

is dad and she sober? No.

57:17

So what shape is dad and she

57:19

sober? No. Oh. Oh. So what shape

57:21

is dad and she sober? No.

57:23

Oh. So what shape is dad.

57:26

One time in Arizona. I couldn't

57:28

give you the exact number, but I would

57:30

imagine it's in the 20s, high 20s. Oh,

57:32

it's a long time. So it was like

57:35

the 80s, 90s, he was a fucking rat.

57:37

Yeah, dude. Yeah, when it was the most

57:39

important to me. My literal childhood. So it

57:42

was back when it was the most formative

57:44

years for you. Yeah, we cruised through probably

57:46

the most formative years of my entire life.

57:48

No, but you know what, then we grew up

57:51

and became and became men and became

57:53

men and then, and then I just thought,

57:55

you know. Nobody's perfect. Well, yeah, your

57:57

parents are human. But when your kid,

57:59

you're... frustrated because you think they're superhuman.

58:01

You don't get it. You're like you should

58:04

be superhuman and you should be perfect and

58:06

you should be taking care of me perfectly

58:08

but they're fucking human. But they're us.

58:10

They're us. They're no better than us. They're

58:12

no better than us. Your parents are both

58:15

gone? My mom's a lot my mom's a

58:17

lot my dad's a no better than us.

58:19

Your parents are both gone? My mom's a

58:22

lot my dad's way younger than your dad

58:24

right? She's way younger than your dad

58:26

right she's way younger than your dad right

58:28

she's Neuroendocrine pancreatic cancer, yeah. What is that

58:30

starts in your brain? Real fucking fun podcast,

58:33

by the way. Any other fucking uplifting stories?

58:35

Did you bring up my dad? Who started

58:37

this fucking shit? What's going on in your

58:40

phone? You bring me up pictures your

58:42

dad's pancreatic cancer? Check out his pancreas, dude.

58:44

Good, sick. Looks like it's covered in cocoa

58:46

crispies. I have a phone call in two

58:48

minutes, you want me to try to push

58:51

it? No, take it. I've done it on

58:53

an hour so far. Have you done an

58:55

hour? How long are we done? 54

58:57

minutes. 54 minutes. 54. Now we can, we'll

59:00

wrap it up very soon. Tell me, tell

59:02

me, just tell me. No, what's the, is

59:04

it call important? Oh, it's like, it's like,

59:07

is it call important? Oh, it's like, it's

59:09

like, has a bit of urgency to

59:11

it where I get people. So don't push.

59:13

No, don't push, we're gonna end right now.

59:15

We're gonna end right now. We're gonna end

59:18

right now. We're gonna end right now. We're

59:20

gonna end right now. We're gonna end right

59:22

now. We're gonna end right now. We're gonna

59:25

end right now. We're gonna end right

59:27

now. We're gonna end right now. I'll be

59:29

on Eric's show bombing. Watch Eric's show, listen

59:31

to Eric's show, wherever you get poopcasts. You're

59:33

one of my favorite, you know, I love

59:36

you so much, you're my dog. We do

59:38

that, we end the episode the same way,

59:40

looking at that camera, say one word

59:42

or one phrase, your camera's that one right

59:45

there, it's guy, fucking, how long you've been

59:47

acting, how long you been acting? You were

59:49

like, like, look at the camera to see

59:51

the one phrase at the word. One word

59:54

or one phrase into that camera when you're

59:56

ready. Give it to me. I don't

59:58

know. Moist. In here, we pour whist. Whist.

1:00:00

Whisk! Whisk! Whist? Who are

1:00:03

that creature in the the

1:00:05

ginger field? Sturdy? Ginger. Night the

1:00:07

The ginger gene in it hurts. You

1:00:09

owe me five dollars

1:00:11

for the You only $5 for

1:00:13

the for the horn. is

1:00:16

$75 for the horse. Ginger's all hell now.

1:00:18

This Ginger, is I like

1:00:20

Ginger. I like ginger.