0:00

Hi, everyone, It's Sophia. Welcome

0:02

back to Work in Progress. As

0:15

we begin the new year, I just I

0:18

can't stay away and I want to lean into

0:20

the new on Work in Progress.

0:23

For me personally, that means the debut

0:25

of my new show, Good

0:27

Sam. The team behind this show

0:30

are truly some of the greatest

0:32

human beings I've ever had the pleasure of working

0:34

with. There is something magic

0:37

about what's happening here, and

0:41

I want to let all of you in on it. For

0:43

today's episode, I'm going to be speaking

0:45

with a new castmate who is

0:47

now an old friend from

0:49

Good Sam. Sky p Marshall.

0:53

Sky has been on so many of my favorite

0:55

shows. You may recognize her from Black Lightning,

0:57

Love Handles Eight Days a Week, or the chilling and cheers

1:00

of Sabrina on Netflix. On Good

1:02

Sam, she plays Dr Lex truly,

1:05

but in real life, Sky lived a lot

1:07

of life before she ever got on screen. She

1:10

is a veteran of the United States Air Force

1:12

and has worn many career hads since

1:15

and took it upon herself to make her dreams

1:18

of performing come true. I'm

1:20

so excited for you all to get to

1:22

know my TV bestie a little better

1:24

and we had such a good conversation that we've actually

1:27

decided to break this up into two episodes.

1:30

Let's get started. Well,

1:45

Hi, hi, baby,

1:47

welcome to the show. I'm

1:50

so happy to be here, so happy

1:52

to have you. It's funny. I feel

1:54

like I don't even know where to start, but I guess,

1:57

Uh, in case anybody skipped the intro, you

2:00

all are in for a treat today. You were very lucky

2:02

that my friend and my TV bestie,

2:05

sky P Marshall is joining us on Work in

2:07

Progress today. And I

2:09

know because they've sent them to us that

2:11

the listeners have so many questions for

2:14

us about good saying. I

2:16

know, but I I like

2:19

to go back, because everybody

2:21

who's meeting you on the show is meeting

2:23

you as the Sky of

2:25

Today and as someone

2:28

they likely know from Sabrina and from

2:30

your other work. But I always

2:32

like to see how people got

2:34

started, So let's

2:37

go back to the beginning. You were born

2:39

in Chicago. That's actually how

2:41

we first bonded. Do

2:44

do you consider yourself like a Chicago

2:47

in at heart? Oh?

2:50

You know, that's that's Uh.

2:52

That's always been a complicated question because yes,

2:54

I was born in Chicago. Then

2:57

I relocated to what we like to

2:59

call the d M v DC Maryland and Virginia

3:01

until I was twelve. So

3:04

I have this small town country girl

3:07

in me. And then

3:09

in my preteen I head back

3:11

to Chicago and they taught

3:14

me real quick how to grow up. So

3:18

you know, I do have that small town heart, but

3:20

I am quite street wise because

3:23

of Chicago, for sure. So

3:25

yeah, both sides of that coin have created

3:28

quite the epic adventure of just

3:31

getting through life at such a young age, that

3:33

kind of dichotomy

3:36

of big, fast

3:38

paced town, well, big fast paced

3:40

city and small town

3:43

like quiet. Yeah.

3:45

I experienced that as a kid, and I think

3:47

it serves all

3:50

of us well now because we have to

3:52

move around and make anywhere

3:54

home. And when you've

3:56

made a home in places that are so different,

3:59

I think you can see anywhere as a potential

4:01

home. Yeah. Absolutely. And I feel like big cities

4:03

they just they they come with

4:05

so many rules. Small

4:09

town I felt limitless. I

4:11

had real estate. I have forts

4:13

in the forest. I would take stuff

4:15

out of my mother's house and I would take it into the woods

4:17

and I would build these forts all over the

4:19

place. Me and my sister, we

4:22

would stay out late. No

4:24

one like there wasn't so many rules. And then I got

4:26

into Chicago and it was just like,

4:29

don't walk down that street, don't get on that bus,

4:31

don't stay out after the you know, the

4:34

sun drops, or don't hang out with those

4:36

people that you know, make sure you don't turn

4:39

your hat to the left, make sure you don't wear

4:41

red, make sure and and it was so overwhelming

4:43

for me that it started to

4:46

kind of dim my light that that small

4:48

town gave me that freedom to feel

4:51

like I felt like I

4:53

had an imaginary friend. And I mean it also

4:55

could be that I was, you know, younger,

4:58

but it just felt more

5:00

or freedom in the small town, if you will.

5:03

Well, And to go back to Chicago

5:06

as a preteen and

5:08

to experience some of what you're talking about,

5:10

like the danger that

5:12

you've never heard before, of wearing a

5:14

gang color on the wrong block, of

5:18

putting your hat on in a way that might suggest

5:20

you had a loyalty to one group and not another. Absolutely,

5:23

Yeah, I had to learn how to do what's called a neutral

5:25

handshake. So in case someone does,

5:28

you know, walk up or what we would call run up

5:31

on you and they go for

5:33

a handshake, you

5:35

know how to immediately do what's called a neutral

5:37

handshake that you are not

5:41

a left or right gang, You're

5:43

not affiliated. I'm not affiliated at all.

5:45

I'm neutral. What I

5:47

mean, what is that experience like as

5:51

a young kid, because that sounds

5:54

if you think about it as a story, it

5:56

sounds like a rude awakening for the lead character

5:59

and the story of your life. Like no,

6:01

absolutely, and it's Chicago. You know that being

6:04

born in Chicago's one thing. But having a return

6:06

to Chicago at twelve after experiencing

6:08

a very traumatizing event where

6:12

we lost everything. I went from

6:15

riches to rags. So

6:18

having to now go to Chicago at twelve

6:21

and ballet turned to hip

6:23

hop, girl scouts turn to gangs.

6:27

Um, it was like everything that I

6:29

knew was completely

6:31

flipped on its back,

6:34

and it was very traumatizing

6:36

and very overwhelming. I

6:39

remember it separating me

6:41

and my sister, you know, because my sister, she

6:43

and I are year and a half apart. And

6:46

she went I went down the art

6:48

road. I went to dancing, she went

6:50

to the streets, and we

6:52

never even today have

6:55

reconnected since. So that

6:58

experience of haveing to fit

7:01

in and having to adapt and having

7:03

to figure out what does it

7:05

mean? To be black because being in a

7:07

small town of Virginia, it was a predominantly

7:09

white neighborhood. But they never treated

7:11

us like we were the only black

7:14

family because my dad was a doctor,

7:17

you know, so they just saw that we were all

7:19

running in the same country club circle. When

7:22

I got to Chicago and I was now in

7:25

a neighborhood that was predominantly

7:27

actually was pretty much black

7:31

people, it was the uptown of Chicago. That's

7:35

where I first learned that, like, I was dart

7:37

skin. That's where I yeah,

7:39

honey, I didn't. I was like, wait, what

7:42

was darts gonna light skin? That gave me a whole

7:44

complex. That's where I learned,

7:46

um that

7:48

my hair wasn't good good

7:51

hair, Like it was just this whole cultural

7:54

segregation that was happening within

7:56

the community that I

7:59

was just like, it was a rude awakening,

8:02

and rather than being

8:05

you know, punched down by it, I rose

8:08

to the occasion and I had to

8:10

learn how to really love myself with

8:13

the help of my mother. H

8:16

did you feel like you could talk to her about

8:18

what you were learning and experiencing

8:21

and like the ways you were feeling like

8:24

you were being made to doubt yourself or did

8:26

you have that teenage thing of like I'm good

8:28

and she saw that you weren't. Oh, no, I was.

8:30

I was. I was and still am a

8:33

proper mama's girl. Like

8:35

that's my ace of Spade and my

8:37

biggest cheerleader in life. And because

8:39

she grew up in Chicago, she

8:43

anticipated everything that I was about

8:45

to experience. So while she would

8:48

have conversations with me about it

8:50

and try and prepare me for certain things, it

8:54

wasn't until I had that real world experience.

8:56

So you know, she would always ask

8:59

questions. And because she

9:01

grew up in that area and my older siblings

9:03

grew up in that area, they had ears

9:05

in the streets, so they knew the

9:07

vice principle of my eighth grade school,

9:10

like they always knew what was going on and asking

9:12

questions. So my

9:14

mom was my protector for sure, but

9:17

she also through

9:20

me in the gauntlet, Like she was like letting

9:22

me take the subway and like letting

9:24

me go to the South side of Chicago

9:27

by myself, and like she she

9:29

allowed me to face

9:31

my fears in Chicago

9:34

in a big city that was so unknown, And

9:36

I think that was I don't think I know that

9:38

that was the beginning of me

9:41

creating a relationship with fear.

9:45

What do you mean by that? Um?

9:48

So me and fear, like we've been together for

9:50

a while, things are getting serious. Um.

9:57

But yeah, it was the beginning of me creating

9:59

a relationship with your I think when I hear people say

10:01

again, I'm trying to stop this word think, I don't

10:03

think. I know. I know that

10:06

for me, when I hear people say

10:09

sky, it seems like you're so fearless or

10:12

like I'm fearless, and it's

10:14

like none of us are fearless. We're

10:16

born with fear. You know. Infants

10:18

scream and cry because they're so hungry,

10:21

this hungry pain, but you feed it. It's like, oh my god, Okay,

10:23

all right, I'm I'm safe, I'm okay.

10:25

You have to tell a toddler that there's no boogeyman in

10:28

the closet, right, Like, we are always

10:30

having to have a life experience with fear.

10:33

And my first real

10:35

encounter of day

10:37

to day anxiety in

10:40

in the trepidation that came

10:42

with walking around the streets of Chicago. That

10:47

was a relationship that would

10:49

paralyze me at times. And

10:52

my mom was there someone who had had experience

10:54

to help me through it

10:57

by making me face it. That

11:01

then was advanced

11:06

when I left Chicago at seventeen

11:10

eighteen to then go into

11:12

the military. That then trained

11:15

me in a very sophisticated way on

11:17

how to now use that

11:20

fear. So the first

11:22

thing was a revelation of the fear and then

11:24

embracing it, and then the military

11:26

taught me how to use it to my advantage.

11:29

So I have a healthy relationship with fear. Mhm.

11:33

If I'm scared of something, I have to do it. Like

11:35

if I'm scared to say something, I'm like, damn

11:37

it, now I gotta say it or do something. I'm

11:39

like, ah, now I have to do it because

11:41

I'll think about it NonStop. But

11:44

something that amazes me about you, that I observe

11:47

in you as your friend is when you say

11:49

that and you know this about

11:51

me. If I'm anxious about something, I'm

11:53

like, I lose all my words, I have

11:55

no idea how to talk. I'm suddenly like, if I say

11:57

this thing, then everyone's gonna have their feelings her, I'm

11:59

gonna it wrong or God. And

12:02

you somehow

12:04

have become a human who when you are

12:07

afraid of something and you're like, I gotta say it.

12:10

You don't say it with

12:12

the fear behind it. You say it with like a

12:14

supreme amount of positivity.

12:19

You you somehow pushed

12:21

through to an observer

12:23

anyway, you push through the

12:25

thing that makes you fearful with joy,

12:29

And that to me is like wizard ship.

12:33

Like you, guys, I'm telling you my friend is magic.

12:35

The first day that we worked together, I told her she

12:37

was sparkly. I'm very serious. This woman

12:39

is covered in glitter. Like,

12:42

how do you think you learned that? Because

12:45

that that's a perspective you

12:47

have. I don't know a lot of people who have it, who

12:49

have that kind of ability. I

12:51

think for me it's nobody's like.

12:53

My emotional reaction or my emotional

12:56

response is no other human

12:59

beings responsive ability. That is my

13:01

responsibility. I don't care what anybody

13:03

does. My emotional response to

13:05

anything. That's all on me. So

13:09

if I do believe that

13:13

everything is happening for

13:15

me, it's not happening to me. If

13:18

it's happening for me, I have to

13:20

look at it like I

13:23

don't like this feeling. I don't

13:26

like, you know, the

13:28

thoughts that are going onto my head. All

13:30

right, So how is this supposed to serve

13:32

me? What am I supposed to learn here? And sometimes

13:34

I can take thirty seconds before I open

13:36

my mouth and respond to somebody. Sometimes I

13:38

can take weeks. It really,

13:40

it honestly really just depends. It's very ala

13:42

carte when it comes to how I respond to fear, because sometimes

13:45

when you see me, I might be in my joy and

13:47

bliss and sending my way through the

13:49

experience. But then I'll go home and throw

13:51

accent to my walls, you know what I mean, Like I

13:53

have my ways of processing that

13:56

that emotion. I just don't

13:59

reject any of

14:01

the feelings that I have as a human on

14:04

the entire spectrum.

14:07

They've all served me. Even

14:09

when I hear people talk about ego, like ego

14:11

this or ego that. Yeah, but ego can

14:13

come in hand as well, fear this fear

14:15

that fear can come in hand, sadness can come

14:18

in hand. You know, all of our emotions

14:20

are there to serve us, but we have

14:22

to be able to just take a moment and figure

14:24

out what is the lesson here? And

14:27

that has taken time and I

14:29

learned that again.

14:32

I give that credit to the Air Force as well.

14:36

That's where that began. So

14:38

how how does that timeline

14:41

go? You go back

14:43

to Chicago as a preteen, so you go

14:45

back to Chicago twelve, Uh, finish

14:48

up high school and then

14:50

in order to go to college, I

14:53

had to get Uncle Sam to be my sugar daddy,

14:56

my all my books. Um,

14:59

but yeah, I went to military because I wanted

15:01

to go to college, like that was very

15:03

important to me. So how does that process

15:05

begin? Like when you when you're

15:07

sitting there saying, Okay, the military

15:09

is going to be my opportunity for higher education.

15:12

Where do you go? Who

15:15

do you go to see? Are you getting

15:17

recruited or do you have to go and volunteer?

15:19

Like what's what's the process for

15:21

you at eighteen to do that? So the

15:23

process for me was when

15:25

I was in high school. I went to Lincoln Park High School

15:28

and a lot of girls

15:30

in my high school we're getting pregnant, dropping

15:33

out, And then there were the other girls,

15:35

of course that we're excelling and getting

15:37

like incredible grades. I

15:40

was one of those, but

15:42

I was surrounded by a lot of girls

15:44

that we're having babies, and

15:47

it scared me and

15:51

I decided I need out. So I

15:53

applied to a bunch of different universities, and I

15:56

got into an HBCU called

15:58

Hampton University in Virginia. I

16:01

went to Hampton now as HBCU,

16:03

historically black university.

16:06

I didn't know that I was no longer

16:08

the minority, so that financial aid was

16:11

not going to be available to me, which

16:13

was so brilliant for the white students

16:15

that were there because now they were able to get

16:17

the financial aid because they were the minority

16:20

of the university. And I was like, oh my god, this

16:22

is genius. And I didn't even I didn't even think about that,

16:24

right, So I call my white friends like, y'all need

16:26

to go to HBC When I was kidding a

16:30

girl, you

16:34

get to be a minority, So

16:36

uh yeah, that freshman year was

16:40

a penny, you know. And

16:43

one thing I remember hearing from my father

16:45

with med school and my and my mom when

16:47

she went to school for to be

16:49

a teacher was student

16:52

debt. Money was a big,

16:55

big fight in arguments and

16:57

in just a dark cloud, and a

16:59

lot of it was good old

17:01

Sally May. So I

17:04

grew up thinking Sally

17:06

May was a real woman and she I know exactly

17:08

what she looks like in my head, and I thought

17:10

that she was a woman that kept calling my dad asking

17:12

for money. Wait

17:15

wait, wait wait what is what does Sky's

17:17

Sally May look like? I need to know? So

17:19

Sally maybe she has this um she's a

17:21

white lady naturally and not just kidding, but

17:24

no, she is this tan white

17:26

woman who um has like

17:28

this gray, beautiful thick hair

17:30

with a nice little Southern curl to it and

17:33

the sweetest face like the big

17:35

rosy cheeks. The nicest woman.

17:38

She gave you that money, so you can go get that to Gred.

17:41

She's just following through on the deal. She sounds

17:43

like a character on designing women like her

17:45

Delta birth. We're probably best exactly

17:48

what it is. Yeah, the sweetest woman,

17:51

great energy, but she needs her money back. But

17:53

Sally needs that needs that check back that

17:56

that you you know, Um,

17:59

I just did want to have a relationship with Sally

18:01

May. I didn't. So

18:04

that's where the idea of going to the

18:06

military came. And now this idea

18:08

came in after I

18:10

just like one prom

18:12

quein in high school. So I didn't tell

18:14

anyone because they would think it was absurd,

18:18

Like, wait, what the Milton,

18:20

you don't that's not what, that's not what we did.

18:22

We don't. We don't do that, So I didn't tell anyone.

18:25

So I walked into a recruiting

18:27

office for the Navy because

18:29

that's when initially I was going to go into the Navy.

18:32

But then I found out that you gotta get your hair wet, and I

18:34

was kidding then I was

18:37

gonna with my hair and I was like, um no. But

18:39

I went in and did what's

18:41

called the ASVAP tests, and that is like the

18:44

S A T A C T for the military,

18:46

so they can determine on your

18:48

scores, your score chart, which

18:51

branch will you qualify for Army

18:54

and uh, the

18:57

Navy, I believe are equals somewhere around the

19:00

Marines is somewhere in the thirties. Don't quote me on

19:02

this please, but to get into the Air Force

19:04

that was like eighty percent or higher. Yeah,

19:07

very challenging. So I get back

19:09

to the recruiting office and the Navy recruiter says,

19:11

you pass. You're in. Now we're gonna go and do

19:13

your physical exam and done.

19:16

You'll be in on the same day. No,

19:18

it's like the test is one day.

19:20

Were called recruiting thing

19:22

is one day and then you go back to a place called

19:24

maps and you do your as MAAP test and

19:27

then when you get the scores in, now you've

19:29

got to go and do like a whole physical examination,

19:31

which is like, it's intense. It's like what you see

19:33

in the movies of like a cattle line of human

19:36

beings testing their vision and

19:38

your physical abilities and just

19:41

the whole shebang. Right, So I

19:43

go and I do that, and then I'm

19:45

done with my physical and now at the end of the physical

19:47

hours later, you have to now

19:49

get in line to go into a room to swear

19:52

in into the military.

19:55

Right once you swear in and you dropped

19:57

that salute, they own you for

20:00

the next however long your contract is. My was

20:03

four years. So I was standing

20:05

in line in the Navy line, but I'm

20:07

looking across the hall at the Air Force line,

20:10

and they looked cool. They

20:12

were like the cheerleader and football

20:14

players in the cafeteria. I don't

20:16

know what it was, but I was just like, man,

20:19

they look way more fun. It

20:21

was the most ridiculous choice

20:24

to to shift my entire perspective

20:26

in that moment, but it did. I was

20:28

seventeen, you know, and so I left

20:31

and I didn't swear in, and

20:33

I went back to the recruiting office and

20:35

I asked him what was my as VAB score

20:37

because he never told me. And

20:40

when he told me my as VAB score, and

20:42

he looked like he didn't want me to know, and

20:44

he was like, you got a eighty three.

20:47

And I was like, And I ran

20:49

across the hall into the Air Force recruiting office

20:51

and I was just like, let's go swear in today.

20:54

And I did and and and that's how I ended up in the

20:56

military. And I have zero

20:59

student debt. And I've ever met Sally May.

21:02

I'll never know what she looks like. Okay, so

21:04

then how how does the

21:06

process go? You swear in? But

21:08

then do you stay at

21:10

your university or do you go to a

21:12

military college or like

21:15

what's the what's the time? So I never went back

21:17

to Hampton because I couldn't afford it.

21:20

So because I couldn't go back to Hampton, my only option

21:22

was Chicago. So

21:25

I'm like, I'm going into the military.

21:28

And I didn't tell my mom until after

21:31

I scored high on the as BAP tests.

21:34

She didn't even know that I was going to

21:36

take the actual test because I just

21:38

wanted to see how far could I take this

21:41

before actually committing. I'm

21:44

not good at enrolling other

21:46

people in my decision making because

21:50

it's not their life.

21:53

Now. I love to consult

21:56

people that I love and trust or

21:58

that I just respect because of you

22:00

know who they may be in the world. Um

22:03

just so I can learn. I love to learn from

22:05

people. But when it comes to those high

22:07

octane moments where it's like, is that

22:09

the blue peel of the red peel, I really

22:11

had to lean on me and spirit

22:14

and universe, guy, everything you want to believe in. Um

22:17

So when I then went

22:20

and swore in that next

22:23

day, I was on a bus to the airport and I

22:25

was gone. Yeah,

22:27

I was gone, and showed up to boot camp

22:30

in uh San Antonio, Texas.

22:33

And it was so funny because well it wasn't that funny because it

22:35

was August, so it was bleeding hot in San Antonio,

22:38

Texas. But it was funny because I get to I

22:40

I arrived to boot camp and we're all being like

22:42

rushed off the bus and our t I are

22:44

training instructors like showing up

22:47

and like already giving us the energy

22:49

that we all know that we in television,

22:51

right, And He's like, is there anybody

22:53

here that knows how to play an instrument. And

22:55

I'm sitting up here like what,

22:59

so raised my hand and

23:02

he's like, what do you play? I was like,

23:04

um, symbols because

23:06

in my head that's just the easiest that I can like improvise

23:09

with. I was like, symbols. I'm really I

23:11

could play symbols. And then and

23:13

then he was like okay, great, go over there. So then

23:15

we're all being whisked over to this

23:17

other area of boot camp

23:20

and then we end up inside of a band

23:22

room. Stop. This is too

23:24

much a lot of people know about this, so I

23:26

just I was like, oh my god, where's we're indoors,

23:28

there's air conditioning. Wait, okay, what's

23:31

happening. So then they're just like, all

23:33

right, you guys are the band, the

23:36

band of boot Camp. I did not see

23:39

this in the pamphlet um And

23:41

they're like, you guys in the band. Every

23:43

Friday, a new group

23:45

of of of Airmen

23:48

are going to be graduating boot Camp, and

23:50

you're the band is going to play at their graduation

23:52

every Friday. And

23:54

I was like, oh, this is lovely because in my

23:56

head all I knew was that means we're gonna have to rehearse,

23:59

and that's gonna indoors and air conditioning, and I'm not going

24:01

to be outside. And yeah,

24:04

and then there was a band member from the band at Hampton

24:06

University, because I danced with the band at Hampton

24:08

University that was in that flight, And I

24:10

couldn't believe it because he was my assigned

24:13

big brother at Hampton University. So

24:15

when we saw each other, we just burst into tears

24:18

because neither one of us told each other that we

24:20

were going to the military. So for he and I both

24:22

end up in a band flight in

24:25

boot camp right after Hampton

24:27

University's band experience. I

24:29

mean, it's just you. You already know you know me, We have so

24:32

many conversations. The synchronicities that happened

24:34

in my life are just incredibly

24:37

mind blowing and so inspiring for

24:39

me to just keep going.

24:43

You know, did having

24:45

a friend there make

24:47

you feel like you were going to be okay at the start of

24:49

something that I imagine is pretty scary. Yeah,

24:51

absolutely, because, um,

24:53

you know, you're not allowed cell phones anything, You're

24:56

not allowed any connection to the outside

24:58

world because their job is to break

25:00

you down as a civilian and rebuild

25:03

you as a soldier, so they can't

25:05

have any outside influence interfering

25:07

with that process. But my

25:11

flight of women, and I was the flight

25:13

leader of my flight of forty,

25:15

was in a barrack right next to the

25:17

mail flight and there's a door that separates

25:20

us. So we called that door the

25:22

telephone. So anytime somebody

25:24

would knock on the door, anybody

25:26

around the door would be like who is it? And

25:29

they'll be like it's John and

25:31

look sky there and like skytt come

25:34

to the phone and it's the door, right,

25:36

and then you just come to the door and sit on the door and just like

25:38

talk under the door through the door

25:40

to whoever is there. So like we

25:42

were able to just converse through the door

25:45

and that was really nice. Um. And

25:47

then there was a girl who didn't

25:49

graduate from boot camp because

25:52

of medical reasons. But they'll still keep you there and

25:55

make you work, but you're

25:57

not held to all the rules

25:59

and relations. So I got her to sneak

26:02

in some snacks um and a

26:04

cell phone once. So you know, I played

26:06

my I played my part well, I

26:08

got what I needed. So but yeah, no, it was challenging

26:10

but very rewarding. But as a flight

26:12

leader, if anybody messed up and had to

26:15

say do push ups or run laps or whatever, I

26:17

had to do it with them.

26:19

So that was the beginning of

26:21

having an accountability partner, which

26:25

if I did not have that, even

26:27

up until today, I wouldn't.

26:29

I definitely would not have accomplished

26:32

what I have accomplished thus far. What

26:35

do you think it is about accountability? The

26:37

thing about accountability for me is

26:39

that we can have a dream, we

26:41

can have a goal, we have a vision, you

26:43

can have motivation and inspiration.

26:46

That's that's that's great. But what

26:48

I have learned that gets real results

26:51

is habits. That's

26:54

what gets real results. Is what

26:56

are you doing even when you don't

26:58

want to do it? You know, Um,

27:00

A lot of people would would ask, because I do

27:03

I still do this today as soon as I can put my feet

27:05

on the floor and make my bed. And I've been doing that ever

27:07

since, you know, the training that I had in the service,

27:10

And people would say, like, what is there with the military in

27:12

the in the bed, in the bed, in the bed, and I'm like, it's not about

27:14

the bed. It's about creating discipline.

27:16

It's about when you wake up in the morning,

27:19

you start the day with something that

27:21

you don't probably want to do, and

27:24

it will start to roll out throughout the day.

27:26

So discipline for me in habit is

27:29

very important. And for me to stay

27:31

habitual, I needed

27:33

those accountability partners, you

27:35

know, um which later in life

27:37

I changed the name

27:40

to destiny advocates, so

27:44

I have a few of those. You're one of them.

27:47

You became one of them, for sure. But

27:49

I can tell I can spot a destiny advocate

27:52

where I'm like, oh, this person is supposed

27:54

to be in my life on purpose, Like

27:57

there's there's purpose

27:59

in the relationship, and

28:01

the version of me that shows up is

28:03

just a little bit, just a little bit

28:06

different than what the day to day

28:09

you know, associate or family member may

28:11

receive. Why do

28:13

you think that is? Like when

28:15

we're around the people who make us

28:17

want to be our best selves, why

28:21

do you think we know? That's

28:25

a really good question, Sophia Bush.

28:29

So knowing I don't. I wish

28:31

I could. I wish I could figure the formula out,

28:34

But it's a knowing. It

28:36

usually lines up with certain

28:39

events that take place, a

28:42

synchronicity that happens. You

28:45

see the person once and then you run into them

28:47

again, and then a third. Oh

28:49

no, okay, now come here, let's talk. I'm

28:51

supposed to be someone in your life. You're supposed to

28:53

be someone in my life. Or we're just supposed to drop some

28:55

gems on this table right now and walk away. Either

28:58

way, there is something that I am in to give

29:01

and or receive in this moment. And if that

29:03

keeps happening over and over, now you're a

29:05

destiny advocate. Now you're you're

29:07

You're there, You're stuck. You're with me for life? How

29:10

I know it's just synchronicity

29:12

start to happen. That's my first

29:15

queue. Or I'll think

29:17

about the person and they'll text or they'll

29:19

call it. Energetically

29:22

the world just my world shifts

29:25

to reveal to me, pay

29:28

attention to this relationship

29:31

or this moment. And I'm

29:33

very obedient to that feeling and

29:35

I lean into it and I

29:37

don't care heavily

29:39

on their response to it, meaning

29:43

that if I if I'm

29:45

the one calling you but you're

29:47

not calling me, I'm not going to trip about

29:49

that. I'm really

29:51

not how you feel about me and none of my business,

29:54

you know what I mean? Like, I'll just I'll

29:56

still support, I'll still

29:58

you know, now some rejects the invitation,

30:01

then of course I fall back. But

30:04

um, not everybody has

30:06

that same reaction or response

30:08

to you. You know, sometimes it's

30:11

up to us to just listen. Yeah,

30:13

I think it can also be so important to remember

30:16

that we're not all always

30:18

in the same stages with the people we

30:21

connect with very important. So

30:23

like, let's say

30:25

you and I are in a stage where we have time, glorious,

30:30

we probably can put in and and output

30:32

about the same amount of energy. But sometimes,

30:35

you know, one of us will be in a position

30:38

where we have time, and we'll meet someone who's

30:40

supposed to be in our lives who has very little

30:43

and so then we can give time

30:45

where they might not be able to give as much in return,

30:49

but us

30:51

continuing to show up and give it means

30:53

more to that person who doesn't have a lot of time

30:56

than just about anything. And

30:59

like learning that has been

31:01

such a lesson for me in

31:04

terms of trusting how I feel and

31:06

also trusting

31:09

that I'm loved. When I'm the one who doesn't have

31:11

much time and other people show up, it's

31:13

like it like brings me to my knees.

31:16

It touches me so deeply, and

31:18

I think I

31:20

think choosing to trust

31:22

your instincts and to and

31:25

to name what's happening can

31:27

help you kind of lean into those behaviors.

31:31

Because you speak of that

31:33

may not have a lot of time,

31:36

Please believe they too

31:38

have their destiny. Advocates that they

31:41

will make time and

31:43

that they are on the

31:45

the see me, end, feel

31:48

me, hear me, or let's have this,

31:50

and I feel I don't. I don't think anyone

31:53

is short of that, even the way

31:55

that Oprah speaks of sitting fortier, like

31:57

everyone has that person. Yeah,

32:01

you know, um, Alicia Keys

32:03

Over a decade ago said something that's

32:05

stuck with me forever at an award show, and

32:07

she said, you can't go through life with

32:10

with you know, two catchers mits

32:12

on. You have to be able to give

32:15

and receive. You know,

32:17

you can just be there to receive, receive receive.

32:19

Right. So while

32:21

I, for instance, I

32:23

am soaking

32:26

up as much as I can, watching you and

32:28

learning from you and studying from you,

32:32

I then go and like open

32:34

the door for like like one of

32:36

our like our extra Kayla, you

32:38

know who I've been mentoring

32:41

and I've had her over to help me with a self

32:43

tape. You know what I mean like she She's

32:45

like, Okay, here we go. Like anytime

32:47

I feel rewarded to have

32:49

somebody that I can learn

32:52

and watch and and feel supported

32:54

by in my journey, I then

32:57

have to go and look back. I

33:00

have to look back to see is there anyone

33:03

needing my time that

33:05

may think I'm too busy? M hmmm.

33:08

And that's just kind of I don't know. That's

33:10

been the cycle that's worked for me. I

33:13

love that, and it's interesting to be able

33:16

to trace it to those kinds of behaviors.

33:19

People say, what's with the bed, and you're like, it's not about

33:21

the bed. About discipline. It's

33:24

always a principle under the action.

33:27

So how long did the Air Force last?

33:30

Like? What all in was your time? Where

33:32

were you? What's it like to

33:34

be in the Air Force and be going to school? Like how

33:37

does that that is that chunk of skies

33:41

timeline play out? Huh

33:45

So going to school while

33:47

in the military was extremely challenging

33:50

because when I enrolled, I

33:53

enrolled, it was enrolled.

33:55

I've been hanging out with way too many life coaches.

34:00

When I enlisted, um

34:02

in the military, it was peacetime.

34:05

Everybody was going into the military,

34:07

so they can get college paid for. And

34:09

then that was two thousand,

34:12

two thousand and one. It

34:14

got real real quick, and

34:16

I was like, um, excuse me,

34:19

Um, I wasn't really trying to like serve

34:21

my country, like not like

34:24

that. Can we talk? You're

34:26

like, could I have a desk job? And we could help

34:28

out right, because it's

34:30

it was moving really fast

34:33

because Bush was the president and

34:36

there was no social media

34:39

and uh, we all had

34:41

like cell phones. They were nice and flippy

34:43

and fun, but we

34:45

weren't pulling up the news on

34:47

our phone, you know. So I

34:50

was, I mean, I'm gonna share

34:52

this with a lot of people. But when

34:54

I was in the military at the time when

34:57

not eleven happened, I was and

35:00

what was called motivational camp, and

35:02

I was like, what is this? What

35:05

is this? And it was like doing

35:07

boot camp all over again, even

35:10

having a canteen on my hip, Like it was just like what

35:12

is this? And it was while I

35:15

was in motivational camp that

35:18

I was watching the television when nine

35:20

eleven happened, and

35:24

that timing just was a little that's always

35:27

been a bit odd to me. Whatever. But then we were all

35:29

um asked to come to the base and we were like restrained

35:31

to the base. We had what was called a commander's call,

35:34

where the commander of the base came and pretty

35:36

much told us to just go to our dorms

35:38

and just sit still, sit tight. And

35:40

that's what we did. And we like didn't really have we didn't

35:42

have any resources to like pull information from

35:44

anywhere. So we're just sitting here, like what's

35:46

gonna happen. Clearly we know the Army and Marines

35:49

are heading first, right, so we're

35:51

not stressed. We're air Force. If they need us,

35:53

the pilots will go, and then the medics in the PGE.

35:55

You know. So I worked in the hospital. Um,

35:58

I wasn't stressed at

36:01

that time because I didn't have enough information

36:03

and we didn't get to see it. Like,

36:06

say, if if that happened today,

36:08

oh my goodness, with a number of

36:10

social media platforms available, the

36:13

military would have been

36:15

in shambles because people would have been sharing and posting

36:18

like the things that were being said and happening.

36:20

I'm not even gonna get into that anyway. That's a whole

36:22

other podcast. But um,

36:25

that's when it got real. That's when it

36:28

got very real, and our

36:30

base slowly started to become a

36:34

bit chaotic because

36:36

other military bases were underman

36:39

because Marines and Army

36:41

were being deployed constantly, and

36:46

in order to maintain a base, you

36:49

have to have people covering all of the positions

36:51

at home, right, It's not just about

36:54

let's sending everybody overseas.

36:57

So, um, they pulled me out

36:59

of the hospital and ate me a cop. Yeah,

37:02

so I was a military

37:04

police officer. So I got

37:06

out of the military, thank god, and

37:09

um, to my surprise,

37:12

I remember I was like, I

37:14

should do acting, and I thought

37:17

that that was the most ridiculous idea

37:20

of all time, and

37:22

immediately went straight to college because

37:25

I was like, I did not just go to the military

37:27

to then go do a job that a high school dropout can

37:29

do. I'm going to college.

37:32

So I had that idea for about a week and

37:34

then it was gone. And then I went to school, and

37:37

I went to college. I got my bachelor's

37:40

degree in communication minor and media,

37:42

and uh, then I got my corporate job that

37:45

I've always wanted and went

37:47

to Manhattan because I wanted my Carrie

37:49

brash Shaw sex in the city life and

37:52

except I was gonna be Miranda and I wanted

37:54

my corporate job, and

37:57

that was the plan.

38:00

Two years in the corporate I

38:03

realized the cubicle was my

38:05

idea of who. But

38:07

I had worked so hard for that cubicle and

38:10

what was the job? I

38:13

worked at a pharmaceutical marketing

38:16

firm called b g B New York, which

38:20

I had a good laugh because one

38:23

of the drugs that I worked on that I

38:25

had an account with with Bristol Model

38:27

Squibb in Santa Fe Adventus was

38:30

Plavix for a proof arterial disease

38:33

p a D, which

38:35

is in our upcoming script. You're

38:39

like, there is I know this

38:41

one? So um

38:43

So that's the the

38:46

alignment of all these like life

38:48

imitating art moments that I've been having.

38:51

It just constantly just affirms

38:53

to me that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be,

38:56

and that even

38:59

deciding to pursue acting

39:02

at and

39:05

knowing that I was the underdog,

39:08

meaning I was about

39:11

to be thirty with no experience, black

39:13

female like it just there were very

39:16

limited opportunities, as everyone told me, and

39:19

uh, to now

39:22

see how that life, that

39:24

adult experience that I had from

39:26

the military to corporate

39:28

New York to growing up in Chicago,

39:31

how I kid, you not. I would

39:33

say, of the roles that I have done

39:36

in the industry, have mirrored,

39:39

mirrored a lot of those experiences,

39:41

even down to the

39:43

tiniest detail, like peripheral

39:46

arterial disease. I

39:49

mean, all those little

39:51

things. It's weird

39:53

when you realize there's something special going on.

39:56

It's so weird,

39:59

like the most delicious ways. And it like

40:01

with our show premiering, people were asking

40:04

me, you know, did you ever want to

40:06

do anything other than acting? And I was like, you, guys, I wanted

40:08

to be a heart surgeon. Like

40:10

I'm I'm out promoting our show

40:13

talking about Mr Hallman, who was my ninth

40:15

grade biology teacher who

40:17

used to stay through the end of class

40:19

through lunch with me in the classroom so I

40:21

could do the next advanced

40:24

level of the dissections we were doing. Because I was like,

40:26

I really need to learn this. I'm going to be a surgeon. What

40:30

what? What? Like?

40:33

What is happening? And

40:35

I don't know, it's just such it's

40:38

such a trip to me, all the little

40:41

things. And one of the things I want you to tell people

40:43

about because you're telling me the stories I don't know about

40:45

the military. But one of the stories

40:48

I do know about the military is something the audience

40:50

needs to know because it's a synchronicity

40:52

before we move on to like changing the career

40:54

into acting. You

40:56

working in the hospital in the

40:58

military, like you

41:00

don't tell people about it because it's crazy

41:02

that now you're on the hospital show. No.

41:05

I got and and my supervisor,

41:08

um, Sergeant Jimenez, he messaged

41:11

me. It was just like are you kidding

41:13

me? Like when the episode aired, so

41:15

many people from the military like reached out,

41:18

so like, yeah, I know that way, and I love

41:20

that. I'm like sitting back like waiting to

41:22

see like because you know, we're all spread out

41:25

all over the world. I don't know where they all are,

41:27

um, so to know that they

41:29

can find me on social media after I pop up

41:32

on their screen. Back in the hospital, it's

41:34

it's not it's pretty wild, but yeah, I

41:36

was all over that hospital. I started in medical

41:38

records, which felt hazing.

41:42

It's like starting in the mail room exactly

41:45

like it was. It was terrible,

41:47

um, but again, it

41:49

really definitely helped with just

41:51

like crossing your eyes and dotting

41:54

your tease and like filing is just

41:56

so like, oh

41:59

my gosh. Anyway, it's yeah, it's it's intense

42:01

anyway. Um, until I

42:03

had like friends of mine messaging me like, so

42:05

I'm started dating David, can you open

42:07

up his medical record just to make sure. I'm like a girl.

42:10

No, people is listening, leave

42:13

me alone. Um. But

42:16

yeah, So I went to family

42:18

practice, and then I had a lieutenant

42:21

who was running pediatrics who wanted

42:23

me to come buy pediatrics and I ran out

42:25

of there immediately. And then I

42:27

would volunteer at the er when

42:29

they would need help. So I kind of bounced

42:31

around there, went up to labor and delivery sometimes

42:34

when I felt sad because that's where the babies

42:36

were. Um. And then a

42:38

lot of people don't know that, like in the hospitals

42:42

at least in the Air Force. I can't speak for the other branches,

42:44

but you have plastic surgeons there obviously

42:47

there for war wounds, but there

42:49

who are like dependents

42:52

of of active members

42:54

like their wives or daughters or whatever,

42:56

and active duty men and women

42:58

that would go and get free plastic surgery

43:00

while they're in the military. So

43:02

I thought that was pretty wild. Wait, so

43:05

is that just like in downtime if the plastics

43:07

it's downtown, the plastic surgeons need

43:09

work they need, so they got theirs. They

43:13

have to do that. So like they provided it for free,

43:15

and when I would mention that to people, they

43:17

wouldn't they wouldn't believe me, right,

43:20

But then I'd see like one of my airmen

43:22

friends walking by with a new set

43:24

of breasts and I'm like, cool,

43:27

you did that. Now, let's

43:30

hope we don't go to war, right

43:32

because all this is happening again my first year

43:34

when it was time. That's incredible.

43:37

Yeah, So working in the hospital in the military,

43:39

it could be its own TV series because

43:42

a lot of people don't know like what actually

43:44

goes on inside of the hospitals on a military

43:46

base, which is extremely It

43:49

can be very dramatic and intense from

43:52

like the PTSD and

43:54

the mental health ward of course, but

43:57

then it can also be absolutely

44:01

hysterical and

44:04

like say plastics area or

44:07

um. You know, because when you get free healthcare,

44:11

everyone shows up and it's a party. So

44:15

it was fun for me to be able to experience

44:18

that free healthcare right

44:20

like just anything anything anybody

44:23

felt. They just came in, everybody, unlimited,

44:25

come on in, get your prescriptions. And I still get

44:27

it today, And isn't that amazing? That it

44:30

keeps people healthy. Would you would you look

44:32

at that? If

44:35

we just had it for everybody, we would spend

44:37

less annually as a nation on healthcare.

44:40

You wouldn't have be something, you know, but

44:42

it's more important to go to space. So yeah,

44:45

space hotels are. But

44:49

I have been privileged to have free healthcare

44:51

my entire adult life. That's incrediblem I

44:53

definitely had to serve to

44:55

earn, but I got it, and

44:58

um, I do wish that everyone got

45:00

to have that experience for sure. Hell yeah,

45:02

I just I love hearing

45:04

about all the departments you worked in and all the

45:06

surgeries you watched and assisted

45:09

on and every bit of that that

45:11

prepped you for this show. And oh my

45:13

god, I just want to see

45:15

a scene where there's some incredible

45:19

military plastic surgeon who can like

45:21

put any part of a body back together,

45:23

who's like, nothing's happening. Will

45:26

somebody just come in for a nose job? Anybody,

45:28

just somebody come on, Like,

45:31

I gotta get to forty hours this week,

45:33

Come on? That is so

45:36

like all my friends

45:39

they're begging, just begging

45:41

for hours, and people are like, I

45:43

mean, I couldn't use a ship and plant

45:45

since some year like unbelievable.

45:47

Oh no, it was and dental, like everybody

45:49

was like racking up on all the free stuff. It was amazing,

45:52

It was amazing. It was a blast. Oh man,

45:54

it is kind of crazy to be filming

45:56

a show in Canada because like,

45:59

you know, we're not citizens here. But

46:01

I had to go to the doctor from my asthma and the fall

46:04

and I had to go to the pharmacyat to get an inhaler

46:07

and my inhaler was twelve dollars as

46:10

an uninsured person, and I was like what,

46:13

wow, what well

46:15

this is special? Wow? Yeah, like,

46:18

oh, you just you've

46:20

regulated medicine to keep

46:22

people safe here. This

46:25

is cool. Who knew? Maybe

46:27

we'll write a story about it. Isn't it wild too?

46:29

You become an actor and you just like you see

46:31

the good scene in every funny thing

46:33

that happens around you. You're like, this is everywhere

46:37

and not just a good scene a frame, Like

46:39

I can see a frame that's like, oh that would be beautiful

46:42

to shoot something right here. Um, but yeah,

46:44

I have so many ideas that people

46:46

are like you should started writing, and I try

46:48

writing, and I'm just I'm that's not my jam.

46:51

But I do as an actor, I see

46:53

scenes constantly. Um

46:56

or I'll put on a scene myself. I'm very dramatic

46:58

girl. The right song comes on in the car, I'll

47:01

do a whole music video in the car. I'm

47:04

like a casie animal in there. If titanium

47:06

comes on, yeah, yeah, um

47:09

that. I think that was definitely the uh, the

47:12

first, the first cue that I

47:14

was meant to do to do this for a living, because

47:16

I've always been quite animated. So how

47:19

did the how did that sort

47:21

of repeated hint

47:24

that you were being sent turn

47:26

into I'm gonna

47:28

quit my corporate job where I

47:30

saw a heart medicine another

47:33

another nod? How

47:35

did you decide like, um, I'm gonna

47:37

go and pursue acting, and then how

47:39

do you start? So?

47:43

Um? Well, after the military,

47:45

while I was going to college, I started

47:47

working at plastic surgery clinic

47:50

in Chicago. So that was my part time job

47:53

outside of the military. Because of my experience,

47:55

I was like, Okay, I'll go work at the surgery clinic.

47:58

So I was working at a plastic surgery clinic. Um.

48:00

And there's a woman there who ran all of our

48:03

consultations called lilyan chumption and

48:05

Lily in Chumption said to me all the time, I

48:07

don't know why you're going to college to go

48:10

like work a real job. You

48:13

are supposed to be an actor. Nobody

48:15

else on the planet was saying this to me.

48:17

And she was like a fly

48:20

in my ear buzzing all the

48:22

time. And I'd be like, Lilian, go away.

48:25

But I would make everybody laugh so

48:27

much in the clinic that

48:30

she would just stare at me and be like, I'm

48:32

so confused, like why are you doing

48:35

acting? And I'm like, it

48:37

was just so random that she kept doing that. She

48:39

watched the episode, by the way, and called me like, so she's

48:41

still in my life today, and she called herself your first fan.

48:44

So she was also like in

48:46

my ear about it. And it had no effect

48:48

on me at that time. I was like whatever,

48:50

I did the job until I finished college,

48:53

graduated, got hired in New

48:55

York, went to New York Corporate.

48:58

Two years into corporate, um

49:01

I I spoke to my mom and I

49:03

told my mom. I was like, Mom,

49:05

I am unhappy. I

49:07

don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

49:10

And here i am in my late twenties. I

49:14

know, and I'm not supposed to be doing, and

49:16

that's this job because

49:19

I'm eventually going to throw myself out the window or downstairs.

49:22

Um, I can't do this anymore. And

49:24

she says to me, Um,

49:27

well, then that's what you need to ask God

49:29

for. You need I don't know why I made her a southern bell um.

49:31

You need to ask God for guidance

49:34

for um for a

49:36

vision. And at that time, I did not have a relationship

49:39

with God. I was a fan of his work,

49:42

but we didn't talk. You feel me. So I

49:44

was just like, okay, I'll do that. So

49:46

I went to bed and I did. I prayed

49:49

every night. I didn't know.

49:51

I did not even have

49:54

a direct prayer as

49:57

far as specificity. It was just

49:59

you, whatever I'm supposed

50:02

to be doing, just tell me. I'll

50:04

do it. I won't judge it, I'll

50:06

just I'll just do it whatever it is, like like

50:09

please like. And I had that kind of

50:11

like a bit of a question

50:13

about it. Um. It wasn't like a subtle

50:15

like cue Bible prayer. And I

50:18

did that, and two weeks later, I'm not I'll never forget

50:20

it ever in life. But two weeks later

50:22

I woke up before my alarm clock and it was

50:24

as clear as day. I had this very vivid dream.

50:27

Um, it was very much l A acting all

50:29

that, and and I woke up and I

50:31

immediately was like no. I judged

50:33

it immediately, like, no, hey, I

50:36

hate l A. B the same

50:38

narrative that I held onto for ten

50:40

twelve years. I'm not going to

50:42

do a job that high school dropout could do. I would

50:45

say that to myself all the time, over and

50:47

over and over. The longer you hold onto a narrative,

50:49

it'll be real, right, it'll be true to you.

50:52

So I held onto that. No,

50:55

I did way too much work to go and do

50:57

a job that anyone could do. And

50:59

then that moment on I left my apartment

51:01

and it was everywhere. Buses would

51:03

go by this says visit California subways

51:06

of l A. Like people would. Friends

51:09

were moving to l A. Friends were telling me like, oh

51:11

my god, have you ever thought about doing acting? All of a sudden,

51:13

everybody started saying it to me. It was

51:15

everywhere. It was like the matrix,

51:18

like people started turning into that agent.

51:20

And I was just like, okay.

51:23

So after all of that,

51:26

I convinced in a very

51:29

funny way, my boss

51:31

at the pharmaceutical marketing firm to lay

51:33

me off and not fire me because

51:35

I wasn't gonna quit. But if you lay me off, I can get unemployment.

51:38

If I can get unappoyment, that means that

51:40

will give me two years to give

51:42

this a shot. And if it doesn't work out in two years,

51:44

I'm gonna come back. So I

51:46

commenced him to do that, and he did, and

51:49

uh yeah, I got in my car, drove to l A.

51:52

And I had two years of unemployment and

51:55

I I worked as

51:57

an extra on Cside

52:00

New York for a full season of

52:02

twenty one episodes. And on that

52:04

show was an actor by

52:06

the name of Hill Harper, and

52:09

Hill Harper, without

52:12

me asking for permission, became my mentor

52:15

and I would come to him with questions. He

52:17

would come to me with answers, and he

52:19

was very, very

52:23

professional and just stern

52:26

with it, like like a like a military way.

52:28

And I'm I text

52:31

Hill just the other day and I said

52:33

to him, I

52:35

said, whether you know this or not,

52:38

you were my first in

52:40

person professional actor

52:42

mentor when I

52:44

was an extra on the show. And I isn't

52:48

it wild that here

52:50

we both are on Network TV medical

52:53

dramas with the word good in the

52:55

title, and that's what he would

52:57

always say to me. He'd be like, did you do do do?

52:59

Did you get this? Did you do that? I'd be like, yeah, people like

53:02

good and he would just always say like it was never

53:04

great or like nothing big and

53:07

and he replied back and

53:10

he was just like, I saw you pop

53:12

up on my TV and my

53:15

smile was just so big, and I was so proud of you,

53:17

and I'm so like, he just gave me all the all

53:19

the flowers. But

53:21

that's where it started. Hill Hill Harper

53:23

kind of taught me how to build

53:26

my foundation and

53:29

and then I learned from being an extra on the set

53:31

of c S I New York and

53:33

from there on that's a whole

53:35

other conversation as well. Um,

53:38

I feel like you and I can have multiple, multiple

53:41

conversations like the

53:46

process that I've been able to experience

53:48

while brutal, m levitating.

53:53

I think that's so important though, because so

53:56

many people just

53:59

think some people

54:01

get like the Midas touch and there are success

54:03

overnight and it's just not

54:06

real. I always tell I always tell people it takes

54:08

ten years to become an overnight. Absolutely,

54:11

it was ten years until I book this job

54:14

from when I started. It's

54:16

hard. It's thousands and thousands

54:19

of nose. It's like, how

54:22

am I gonna make rent this month?

54:24

It's it's crazy,

54:26

and I don't know. I think there's

54:29

always something to it. And by the way, even

54:31

the way that the arts are judged,

54:34

even the way that you learned

54:36

picked up or or further

54:39

to narrative, like oh, high school dropouts

54:41

do that job. And then like I'll

54:44

never forget turning around years

54:46

ago and meeting Mirrors or Vino and being

54:48

like, oh, this's like Academy Award

54:50

nominated, like incredible artists, you

54:53

know. And then I find out that she graduated

54:55

magna cum lauda from Harvard

54:58

University, and you know,

55:01

like yeah, speaks Chinese and like

55:03

and I just was like cool, yep. I don't

55:05

know why I judge my profession so hard,

55:08

but maybe I should stop. Yeah, well that

55:10

was the thing they here here. I was a front of Hill Harper

55:12

who has a Harvard law degree, and the

55:14

roommates with Obama for a semester, so

55:17

like, the universe could not have aligned

55:19

me with anybody else to tell me, like

55:22

you kill that narrative because

55:25

this man went from having a Harvard

55:27

law degree to waiting tables

55:30

kill it. We're done here. And

55:32

and it wasn't so much that like that's a job that high

55:34

school dropout does. It was anyone

55:36

could could go and become an actor like

55:39

a high school drop I could do it like I could. Anyone can

55:41

go do it like it's not No, there's

55:43

no prerequisites, right, But

55:45

then you realize anyone can't.

55:47

Anyone absolutely cannot.

55:51

No, ma'am.

55:53

Now is there the magic wand effect that

55:55

happens out there? Yeah, sure that happens,

55:58

and that's that person's journey. I

56:00

was thrilled for Lupia when she came

56:02

out of high school and went straight to the Oscar. I mean when

56:04

up came out of Yale and went straight to the Oscar.

56:07

Yep, go girl, get

56:09

to work. You have work to do. You

56:12

know, they're not. Everyone's journey is

56:14

the same, of course, But

56:17

whether you get tapped at that magic wand or not,

56:20

it is not easy.

56:23

Is it worth it? When

56:25

it's what you love, it's what

56:28

you're meant to do? Yeah,

56:30

And you know, I think about it. In any industry,

56:33

we need a Loopeta story. We

56:35

need the guys who created

56:37

Warby Parker. We need,

56:40

like, we need people who

56:42

do it and soar fast because

56:44

they inspire the rest of us to

56:46

keep going when it's slow astely.

56:49

You need examples of magic to

56:52

do your wizarding work. I

56:54

like that, you know,

56:57

like who's going to go to Hogwarts if you don't

56:59

know there's ever a musician. I'm leaning

57:01

into adjacent now, But

57:04

yeah, I just I don't know. I love

57:06

it, and I'm curious when you talk about

57:09

the journey, you know, learning

57:12

as an extra, And I love that too. My

57:14

dad always used to say to me, you

57:16

know, and before he retired, my

57:19

dad was a photographer for a long time and

57:21

he he always said, like,

57:23

we need to have to hire a photo assistant

57:25

for the studio. He was like, I

57:28

never hired the person who's the most impressive.

57:30

I always hire the person who says, I will do

57:33

anything to work here. I will stay late

57:35

and repaint the studio floor every night. I will

57:37

do runs to the film place, I will pick

57:39

up launch, I'll make coffee whatever I want

57:41

to learn. He was like, that's always

57:43

the person I hire. And when

57:45

you want to learn and you're willing

57:47

to do the work, Oh, it's just

57:50

my favorite kind of people. Why

57:52

we're here together as well. That's the thing. It's like, it's

57:54

not about what you're doing, it's about who you're being

57:56

while you're doing it. Always,

57:59

So I saw that the extras

58:02

there were just like I just walking

58:04

like zombies, Like I'm just an extra, I'm just a

58:06

background actor. And then whenever they say cut,

58:08

they just go back to holding and staring their

58:10

phones or staring their laptop. That's

58:12

what you're that's what you're doing. That's what

58:14

you're doing, and that's who you're being. That's

58:17

great, that's twelve fourteen hours

58:19

of your day Monday to Friday. That's not

58:22

who I'm going to be. So instead I

58:24

would wake up every day and who I

58:26

was being was a paid intern. This is

58:28

a paid internship. All I knew

58:30

was some theater that I tried out and in

58:33

classes, but I didn't know what banana around

58:35

the camera and martini shop meant. I

58:37

don't know any of that kind of stuff like or

58:40

the difference between the framing and I

58:42

don't. I knew nothing. So I would

58:44

sit and stay on set while

58:46

they would go off to holding. Because

58:49

in order to be a paid intern, I

58:51

had to be an intern first, right, So

58:53

I would take notes. I would I would

58:55

I would take the call sheet at the end of the day

58:57

for next day's you know, shoot schedule.

59:00

I would research the people coming in. Every

59:02

new director I knew about, I knew the history,

59:04

I knew where they were from. Um.

59:06

I was able to have a conversation at that moment. Ever

59:08

happened with the writers as

59:10

well, Like I was always a couple

59:13

steps away from video village. Like it was very

59:15

strategic, um

59:17

and and that's what made it

59:21

a part of the process for me. It wasn't

59:23

a side job. It was the job that

59:26

was my mail room,

59:28

that was my medical records

59:30

room, you know, Like it was

59:33

there for me to learn the foundation and to

59:35

build some principles around

59:37

the industry. And that's what that did for

59:39

me. And again without

59:41

him knowing, Hill became like a bit

59:43

of my supervisor. And

59:46

from there I went on to doing those one

59:48

liners, and then the few more lines, and then

59:50

a guest star, and then a Top of Show guest star, and then

59:52

recurring and now here I am in my first series

59:54

regular. But it's definitely just been

59:57

me graduating every

1:00:00

every year. It just has felt like

1:00:03

a shedding of a skin and just consistently

1:00:05

graduating. And I do not compare

1:00:07

myself to anyone else. I genuinely

1:00:10

do not. I believe that

1:00:12

I am unique in my own way,

1:00:15

and I and to honor

1:00:17

how interesting and

1:00:20

and crazy and

1:00:22

just incredible my parents are, and

1:00:25

to honor them, I can't compare myself to

1:00:27

anyone else because they are both

1:00:29

very dynamic people

1:00:32

in their own way. So

1:00:34

in order for me to to feel

1:00:36

good about the process with all the nose, as you say,

1:00:39

is i'd have my only comparison

1:00:42

is was to just like, Okay, what

1:00:44

did I do last year? Is this

1:00:46

year looking better? It

1:00:49

is great? Keep going like

1:00:51

that was enough for me of just like comparing

1:00:54

my my year to last year's, Like

1:00:57

did I even make more last

1:00:59

year? Great? That I make one new friend?

1:01:02

Awesome? Did I? You know,

1:01:04

it was just just kind of and and

1:01:06

that is just allowed me to watch the growth just

1:01:09

you know, kind of consistently take

1:01:11

place where I don't stop

1:01:14

and quit or see it as rejection,

1:01:17

you know, you rather yeah,

1:01:20

the whin are you learn? Mm

1:01:22

hmmm? And if you when

1:01:25

are you learned? You're kind of always winning that

1:01:29

part, that part, but you

1:01:31

know a lot of times people will

1:01:33

romanticize about the goal but dread the

1:01:36

execution. And

1:01:38

and we we have to just remember that

1:01:41

with that goal, having me having

1:01:44

this, this is the goal. This was this

1:01:46

was the wedding, this was the first child,

1:01:49

This was like something I have been planning for

1:01:51

for twelve years. Right, it's this

1:01:53

moment that I'm having right now. The

1:01:56

goal was the thought. The

1:01:58

execution was the worst. And

1:02:00

that is the part that is it

1:02:03

is that's the part that many people dread well.

1:02:06

And the irony is when you meet

1:02:08

your goal, you only

1:02:10

meet it for a moment, and

1:02:13

then you have to execute on it. Everything

1:02:16

is actually in the execution. And

1:02:18

if we only celebrate when we achieve

1:02:20

our goal, we celebrate for so few

1:02:23

moments in life. Even if the goals

1:02:25

are big, it's like, all

1:02:27

right, well we got this big show. Now

1:02:30

we have to make it. So we

1:02:32

better love making things. We

1:02:35

better love creating things, whether

1:02:37

they get made or not, because then when it does get

1:02:39

made, then you get to create it

1:02:41

every day. Like And that

1:02:44

that's a practice that takes work.

1:02:47

Yeah, yeah,

1:02:49

being present takes work. Sometimes some of them

1:02:51

have to tell myself, stop it just totally

1:02:54

right now, right now, look

1:02:56

around, Look around,

1:02:58

look around, lookin. We ought

1:03:00

to be alive. I'm not a singer,

1:03:02

sorry, um, but like it's just that

1:03:05

I have to do that so so often.

1:03:08

Um. I saw this video

1:03:10

of Tom Hanks from around

1:03:13

table with the Hollywood Reporter and

1:03:16

he said, I guess they were asking him because

1:03:18

it was cut, but I think they asked

1:03:20

him, you know, like like dropping a gym,

1:03:23

and he said, um, this

1:03:25

two shall pass, like he wished that he really

1:03:27

understood that, like this two shall pass when

1:03:30

you're feeling low, when you're feeling sad, when

1:03:32

you're feeling unsuccessful or

1:03:35

or undesired, or this

1:03:37

two shell pass, but also when

1:03:39

you're feeling high and like you're

1:03:41

on top of life and everything is working out in

1:03:43

your favor, this two shell pass,

1:03:46

you know, and just knowing that time

1:03:48

is inevitable, but time is

1:03:50

always there to bring you through,

1:03:53

bring you. Just just give it time. Just give everything

1:03:55

time, you know. And that's what

1:03:58

being in this it's like this

1:04:02

experience with you all on

1:04:04

this show. I just constantly

1:04:07

want to just stop time and

1:04:09

just sitting it.

1:04:13

I know, it's so funny.

1:04:16

I mean, and I know I said this to you last night,

1:04:18

but like I had such a hard

1:04:20

time over the holiday break, Like

1:04:22

I was so happy, and you

1:04:24

know, we were home, we hosted our family. It

1:04:28

was great. But to

1:04:30

be present at home

1:04:33

meant that I didn't get to see you

1:04:35

for weeks. And like

1:04:38

I tried to be really conscious

1:04:40

when I was home of being off my phone,

1:04:42

like just putting my phone away, like I'd leave

1:04:45

it in the bedroom, I'd leave it in the bathroom.

1:04:49

But like, but that's why I was

1:04:51

just after like eight days, I'd

1:04:53

start sending you text at all gaps, like, oh my god,

1:04:55

I missed you. What are you doing for me every day?

1:04:57

Tell me everything again? And then I'm like I don't even know what to

1:04:59

say. I just miss you.

1:05:02

And it's like and it's crazy because

1:05:04

then I have that there

1:05:06

are some days when I'm here and I'll realize

1:05:08

I haven't talked to my best friend back home in the three

1:05:11

weeks, and I'm like, there is

1:05:13

just not enough time. If

1:05:15

we just had a little more time. But

1:05:19

but then what I think is how lucky

1:05:21

am I that

1:05:23

there are people in my life who if I don't see

1:05:25

them for a few days, I ache for

1:05:28

their smile, Like

1:05:30

I just I like ache

1:05:32

to know what they're doing Oh

1:05:35

yeah, and that's the long game

1:05:38

too, you know, Like that's

1:05:40

that's being in it and

1:05:43

and finding your people and leaning on your

1:05:45

people and and creating a

1:05:47

world around you that you want to be in. And like

1:05:49

we got to create this, we really

1:05:53

did. You want to tell the people how it started Aboutely,

1:06:02

Well, this was a lot of fun. Do not forget

1:06:04

that this is just part one. I'm so

1:06:06

glad that we did this today. Yeah, let's keep

1:06:08

doing it.