What are the Rules of Time Travel in an Indifferent and Stupid Universe?

What are the Rules of Time Travel in an Indifferent and Stupid Universe?

Released Tuesday, 5th November 2024
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What are the Rules of Time Travel in an Indifferent and Stupid Universe?

What are the Rules of Time Travel in an Indifferent and Stupid Universe?

What are the Rules of Time Travel in an Indifferent and Stupid Universe?

What are the Rules of Time Travel in an Indifferent and Stupid Universe?

Tuesday, 5th November 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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through four two. Selection varies by location

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while supplies last. Ladies

0:45

and gentle folk, tonight

0:47

you're going to be a

0:50

part of an experiment. An

0:52

experiment that will push the

0:54

boundaries of what we know,

0:56

not just about the immutable

0:58

laws of the universe, but

1:01

the medium of podcasting as

1:03

well. Tonight you will bear

1:05

witness to The Impossible as

1:08

my co-host Jamie and I, live,

1:10

and in real time, travel through

1:12

time. going out forever in a

1:14

month or so, but we all

1:17

knew the end was near. Nothing

1:19

to be done from here. So

1:21

I shook my head and on

1:23

to bed I go. Hello and

1:26

welcome back to World Gone Wrong

1:28

where two roommates try and make

1:30

sense of the strange and crazy

1:32

world and get our intro out of

1:34

the way as quick as possible. Which

1:36

wouldn't be a problem if one

1:38

of us wasn't late. I'm a

1:40

leak and I'm only late because

1:42

the bus has stopped running in

1:44

anticipation of the... And I'm Jamie.

1:46

Oh look at her. Interrupting me. I

1:48

remember when she paused not knowing when

1:51

to introduce herself. They podcast grow up

1:53

so fast. listen to this you'll probably

1:55

have been through one yourself. But we

1:57

thought it would be interesting as podcasting professionals.

1:59

to document our own experience for posterity.

2:01

Instruction. Right. This particular time distortion wave

2:04

should be fairly tame. They're calling it

2:06

a 10-year rewind, so no surprises or

2:08

trigger warnings to worry about. Right. No

2:10

one's gonna blink out of existence or

2:12

discover their own deaths. I actually know

2:14

someone who... No. Really? From my college,

2:16

and it was only five-year fast-forward too.

2:18

God, are they okay? I mean, can

2:21

you be? Knowing is bad enough, but

2:23

there's also the experience of... being dead

2:25

to deal with, like he felt it

2:27

being trapped in utter darkness, his body

2:29

decaying. I really hope that's just a

2:31

time distortion thing and not a when

2:33

you actually die thing. Yeah, I think

2:35

we all do. Anyway, none of that

2:38

here. We're just gonna be our teenage

2:40

selves again. Which might be bad enough.

2:42

Sass. This could happen any minute now.

2:44

I just want to say that we

2:46

at World Gone Wrong. Do not recommend

2:48

or endorse this, especially for parents of

2:50

young children. If you're in the path

2:52

of a time wave, please. Um,

2:58

hello? Hi? Hi, Jamie, right? And

3:00

you're Malik? Oh, it's Malik. I

3:03

assume you have a note too?

3:05

Dear Jamie, this is your future

3:07

self. I know, I know, I

3:10

know. Here are five things only

3:12

we know to prove this is

3:14

real. Oh, and then there's a

3:17

list of embarrassing things that I'm

3:19

not going to repeat. Malique and

3:21

I are making a podcast about

3:24

this time travel experience. I can't

3:26

believe that's a real sentence any

3:28

version of me ever wrote. Please

3:31

just engage with it. It'll all

3:33

make sense. I promise. Well, future

3:35

self. I'm here. I'm engaging with

3:38

it and it still does not

3:40

make sense. Mine is much nicer.

3:42

Dear Malique. Hello, my sweet summer

3:44

child. Definitely me. We are in

3:47

the middle of a podcast chronicling

3:49

the experience of actual time travel.

3:51

Capital TV. time capital T travel

3:54

I know I know this is

3:56

Jamie who you'll meet in years

3:58

to come don't worry she's very

4:01

cool I'm not that cool also

4:03

invest in zoom like the kids

4:05

show I guess see yeah this

4:08

is weird right very weird I

4:10

mean this is my handwriting and

4:12

this is my handwriting and this

4:15

is my handwriting and this is

4:17

my handwriting and this is my

4:19

handwriting and this is my handwriting

4:21

and this is my handwriting Like

4:24

some of this stuff I don't

4:26

recognize. I don't even know where

4:28

I am. Like some apartment? I

4:31

could be anywhere. Uh, no. I

4:33

recognize those best sounds though. So

4:35

I am still in Chicago. Oh,

4:38

we should probably do this podcast

4:40

thing. Oh, what kind of podcast

4:42

though? Like are we a chat

4:45

show? Are we an interview show?

4:47

Are we expected to have guests?

4:49

Or is the draw the charismatic

4:52

banter between the hosts? You seem

4:54

to have given their own podcast

4:56

at some point, right? Sure. Unfortunately,

4:58

the market's already bloated. Maybe if

5:01

I'd got in like 10 years

5:03

ago? When you were five? Eight.

5:05

Thank you very much. Oh, maybe

5:08

we're doing a journalism. Like that

5:10

new show serial. Have you listened

5:12

to serial yet? No. Oh my

5:15

God, you have to. It's so,

5:17

it's so good. Are you into

5:19

journalism? Oh God, no. I mean,

5:22

either. And I don't think we

5:24

could be doing like a radio

5:26

drama. Well, not really radio. Like

5:29

an audio fiction thing, you know,

5:31

like old time radio. War of

5:33

the world and the shadow, those

5:35

things. Well, it's like that, only

5:38

it's for podcasts. Are you like

5:40

an actor? Not unless aliens came

5:42

down and swapped out my personality.

5:45

Me neither. I mean, I've done

5:47

performance, but more of just things

5:49

I've written than anything like with

5:52

characters. What do you write? Poetry

5:54

mostly? Poetry slam. Oh, that's um...

5:56

I know what poetry slam is.

5:59

Oh! Cool. Coolio.

6:01

That's what I'm in

6:03

school for at the University

6:07

of Chicago. Poetry?

6:09

Yeah. What about you?

6:11

Are we really doing a

6:14

what's your major? Getting

6:16

to know you. Getting

6:18

to know all about

6:20

you. Maybe I was an

6:22

actor. I don't really know

6:24

yet. Something to do with

6:26

research maybe... Like science research? I

6:29

mean... Or like data analysis? Like

6:31

is your research more studies

6:33

or like computer stuff? Let me

6:35

answer. Sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted

6:37

you. No, it's okay. I just... I

6:40

don't know. Everyone wants me to

6:42

know exactly what I want to do and

6:44

have a goal and have a plan. Is

6:46

it your parents? Parents can

6:48

be like that. No, no, actually

6:51

my dad is fine with it.

6:53

Just dad? That is really, none

6:55

of your fucking business. Sorry,

6:57

sorry, I know, I, I pray.

7:00

Jesus. I have a big family,

7:02

mom, dad, grandma who lives with

7:04

us, three brothers, two sisters,

7:06

and I'm the youngest. Never

7:08

would have guessed. I'm sort

7:10

of used to snooping, I guess.

7:13

It's, okay. I just, this is so

7:15

stupid. What is me. doing a

7:17

podcast? Like, assuming this is all really

7:19

happening and I'm not about to wake

7:21

up or end up on some stupid

7:24

reality prank show, future me should know

7:26

better than to put me on a

7:28

podcast. I don't like to talk about myself

7:30

in real life. Why the fuck would

7:32

she think I'd want to talk about

7:34

myself to like a thousand people on

7:37

a podcast? Is a thousand people a

7:39

lot for a podcast? How should I

7:41

know? I'm just saying, probably it's just

7:43

like your dad and my grandma.

7:45

Oh, hey, Well, what about you? Are you

7:47

all about this podcasting life?

7:49

Oh yeah, this was definitely

7:52

my idea. You do seem a little

7:54

more outgoing. Oh, you don't need

7:56

to be outgoing to do a

7:58

podcast. You just need... a persona. A

8:00

persona? Yeah, a performative version

8:02

of yourself. Like, the you

8:04

that gets up in front

8:07

of the class to do

8:09

a report is not the

8:11

same as the you who

8:13

hangs out with your friends.

8:15

It's more presentational for your

8:17

audience. And what sort of

8:19

persona do you think I

8:21

have? Hmm. From my extensive

8:23

knowledge of you, you would

8:25

be the... I'm trying to

8:27

think of a better term

8:29

than straight man. Definitely not

8:31

a man and also... Never

8:33

mind. Hmm. How about foil?

8:35

That's a good not a

8:37

man term. A foil for

8:39

my exuberance. The voice of

8:41

reason. Someone who takes things

8:43

seriously and brings us back

8:45

to reality when we fly

8:47

too far afield. Does that

8:49

sound a bit like you?

8:51

I mean, it doesn't not

8:53

sound like me. Wait. Are

8:55

you saying I'm not fun?

8:57

Not what I said. You

8:59

said exuberance. Well, we already

9:01

established I'm the outgoing one.

9:03

I can be exuberant too.

9:05

I can be fun. No

9:07

one's saying you can't. I

9:09

just... I can be a

9:11

lot. I know. My family

9:13

is big and when we

9:15

get together, it can take

9:18

a lot to get noticed.

9:20

Also as mentioned, I'm the

9:22

youngest. So you're getting energy

9:24

and need for attention from

9:26

both sides. That's... Probably not

9:28

terrible for me. I can

9:30

be, if we're going to

9:32

psychoanalyze ourselves, I sometimes need

9:34

someone to pull me out

9:36

of ruts. See? And that

9:38

can be what I bring

9:40

to our podcasting partnership. I

9:42

guess. As long as you

9:44

understand that I am fun.

9:46

Hey! Hey, look at me.

9:48

I'm having fun. Okay? Probably

9:50

the most fun I've had

9:52

in a while. That's really

9:54

sad. I didn't mean. No,

9:56

um... It is. I am.

9:58

Kind of. I'm sorry.

10:00

It's fine. I'm just... College

10:02

is a whole thing. I'm

10:04

used to having my family

10:06

and most of them have

10:08

moved away, like all over

10:10

the place away, and we

10:12

talk on the phone and

10:14

text and stuff, but, you

10:16

know, it's not the same.

10:18

And now I'm in college

10:21

and I'm in a dorm,

10:23

and my roommate is some

10:25

business major who I'm pretty

10:27

sure isn't exactly comfortable with

10:29

the gay black kid who

10:31

sleeps across from him. but

10:33

he's too afraid how it'll

10:35

come across if he says

10:37

so. Oh, fuck him. Yes,

10:39

but also, absolutely not. He's

10:41

not that cute. Anyway, I

10:43

guess I haven't really had

10:45

someone to talk to. This

10:47

is basically the best conversation

10:49

I've had. Although, also not,

10:51

I guess, because am I

10:53

really me or am I

10:55

just a deaged older me?

10:57

Yeah. Ooh, what kind of

10:59

time travel rules do you

11:01

think we're dealing with? Right?

11:03

Like are these back to

11:05

the future rules? Can we

11:07

change the future? Are we

11:09

going to fade away or

11:11

accidentally invent rock and roll?

11:13

I'd assume not. Though your

11:15

future sells. Ooh, can we

11:17

call them the old? Yes.

11:19

So your old gave you

11:21

an investment tip. Knowing me,

11:23

it's probably just a joke

11:25

for himself. I mean, I'm

11:27

not exactly the investment type.

11:29

We won't truly know until

11:31

we reage and find out

11:33

if you're rich. Personally, I'd

11:35

be more inclined to believe

11:37

we're in a close-loop system,

11:39

like 12 monkeys. I don't

11:41

know what that is. Terminator?

11:43

That, I know. The first

11:45

two, at least. There are

11:47

only two. The point is,

11:49

by those rules, anything we

11:51

might try to do here

11:53

won't have any effect in

11:55

the past because we always

11:57

did them and would do

11:59

them, and so everything works

12:01

out the exact same way.

12:03

Although, That one I have

12:05

seen. Not that I think

12:08

we're in a time loop.

12:10

I just don't think we

12:12

can affect anything around us.

12:14

Like, we'll just be reset.

12:16

So the olds trying to

12:18

record us are going to

12:20

wake up to an empty

12:22

sound file? I mean, that's

12:24

possible. That would be really

12:26

stupid. Not saying we're stupid

12:28

or our olds are stupid,

12:30

that situation would be super

12:32

stupid. A universal stupid? Yes,

12:34

the universe is stupid. As

12:36

we live in an indifferent

12:38

and stupid universe, most likely,

12:40

that would be the case.

12:42

Alternatively, we could live in

12:44

a less stupid universe governed

12:46

by doctor who time travel

12:48

rules. Things only matter when

12:50

we want them to, otherwise,

12:52

who cares? Who, otherwise, who

12:54

cares? Ooh, I like Doctor

12:56

Who rolls. Yeah. So what

12:58

are your poems like? Only

13:00

the most epic displays of

13:02

lyrical recitation since the haughty

13:04

days when the epics of

13:06

the world passed from poet

13:08

to poet through memorization and

13:10

improvisation. But like what topic?

13:12

Depends on my mood. Sometimes

13:14

something serious or personal. Usually

13:16

about some boy I like.

13:18

Okay. Can I can I

13:20

hear one? Okay, sure. I

13:22

usually keep some notebooks somewhere

13:24

around here. Oh, here. Wow.

13:26

What is it? What's the

13:28

feeling where you pick up

13:30

a completely filled beaten up

13:32

old notebook that you only

13:34

just bought? I believe that's

13:36

called what the fuck. In

13:38

that case, allow me to

13:40

utter a most existential what

13:42

the fuck. What the fuck.

13:44

Okay, um, hmm. Here is

13:46

one I wrote a few

13:48

days ago. Me, me, not

13:50

me old. I've forgotten how

13:53

to breathe. Forgotten too, breathe.

13:55

In, out, or out in?

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we're back. Meaning we are back the

15:00

olds. Ugh, I did not expect so

15:02

much shade to be thrown at us out

15:04

of the past. Yeah, use those days, am

15:06

I right? Get off the lawn, I don't

15:08

have, because home ownership is an

15:10

unattainable pipe dream of a

15:12

bygone era. Okay, Zuma. So, the

15:15

experience of being young again. Thought.

15:17

Definitely weird. Definitely. It's

15:20

strange because the memory I have

15:22

of what happened. I remember it

15:24

chronologically. If that makes sense. I

15:26

remember it happening a few hours

15:28

ago, not 10 years ago, but

15:31

I remember it as me from

15:33

10 years ago. Yeah. How does

15:35

that even work? How does any

15:37

of this work? Tishe. The

15:39

detransition was certainly interesting. Oh

15:41

how it was gradual. Yeah, like

15:43

the wave was sudden, but then

15:45

the way everything slowly aged back up.

15:48

Yeah, I could have I could have done

15:50

without some of that. What do you mean?

15:52

Just the twinge in my knee from when

15:54

I dislocated it fading in or the 20

15:56

pounds I've put on since I was 19

15:58

pushing its way out. Oh. Please, you look

16:01

gorgeous! Okay, I'm not saying that

16:03

I don't. I'm just saying, I

16:05

was definitely in better shape when

16:07

I was on a roller hockey

16:09

team. And the sensation, the pressure

16:11

against the inside of my skin

16:14

was, it was unsettling. I was

16:16

thinking of the way memories kind

16:18

of slid into place. Like someone

16:20

shelving books. Leave it to the

16:22

librarian to come up with that

16:24

metaphor. Simile, actually, I said like.

16:27

You've had one tusche, yes, but

16:29

what about a second tusche? What

16:31

are your thoughts on the whole

16:33

time travel thing? The more mature

16:35

knowledgeable thoughts of one who has

16:37

experienced life? Oh yes, those. No

16:40

idea. What about you? Well, I've

16:42

been thinking about this as a

16:44

trip into the past, right? A

16:46

tenure rewind, we'd be transformed into

16:48

our younger bodies, but now I

16:50

feel like it was the opposite.

16:52

A trip into the future for

16:55

our past selves. So do you

16:57

think things can change based on

16:59

what our past selves see? Am

17:01

I rich now? No. No, and

17:03

also no. It's pretty obvious we

17:05

can't affect past events from these

17:08

temporal distortions, but, but we here

17:10

in the present can learn things

17:12

about ourselves. Things we might have

17:14

forgotten. I definitely forgot how kind

17:16

of, were people still saying emo

17:18

in 2014? No idea. How emo

17:21

I was back then. And defensive.

17:23

My mom's death was only a

17:25

couple years before and I was

17:27

still several years out from dealing

17:29

with any of it. And I

17:31

could see, feel, yeah, I could

17:34

feel elements of my depression that

17:36

were present, but that I wasn't

17:38

aware of at the time. Or,

17:40

or I can now, thinking and

17:42

listening back to it. I know

17:44

what you mean. I totally forgot

17:47

I was once a lonely little

17:49

college freshman. Possibly on purpose. Yeah,

17:51

I have a hard time imagining

17:53

you without like a posse no,

17:55

no a passle of friends. Ooh,

17:57

passle, good word. I thought you'd

17:59

like it. Well, listener, it is

18:02

true. I too have felt, gay

18:04

gasp, alone. I know, I know.

18:06

But do not worry about younger

18:08

me too much. He would soon

18:10

find his people amidst the student

18:12

center open mics and the gay,

18:15

gay parties. Yes, that's right, both

18:17

the meanings. And after years of

18:19

fieldwork and the art and craft

18:21

of extra version, he would emerge

18:23

as the exceptional podcast host, poetry,

18:25

1001TA, and hospitality professional, you hear,

18:28

before you. So maybe rewines are

18:30

less about traveling into the past

18:32

and more about offering our present

18:34

selves perspective. Unless that perspective is

18:36

not being born yet. It's an

18:38

imperfect theory. Where does that land

18:41

us vis-a-vis the rules of time

18:43

travel? I'm going to go with

18:45

a controversial choice. Freaky Friday. Body

18:47

swap is not time travel. Okay,

18:49

listen, that is true. Body swapping

18:51

is not time travel, but much

18:53

like what we experienced, the body

18:56

swap is not meant to be

18:58

a way to change your past,

19:00

but gain perspective on your present

19:02

through a glimpse of a life

19:04

you either previously led or will

19:06

someday lead. And so, I feel

19:09

it is apt. What about you?

19:11

Well, I was far more grounded

19:13

and followed the rules of the

19:15

assignment. Disney's The Kid, starring Bruce

19:17

Willis as a man who is

19:19

visited by his younger self. I've

19:22

never seen that. No spoilers, but

19:24

its use of time travel is

19:26

very much what you've been describing.

19:28

Not about changing the past, but

19:30

in gaining perspective about yourself. About

19:32

healing and deciding how you want

19:35

to move forward in the future.

19:37

Oh. Another good example of that.

19:39

A Christmas Carol? Oh my gosh,

19:41

yes! Why didn't we say that

19:43

at the beginning? Listeners, pretend everything

19:45

we just said we did not

19:48

say. It was all in reference

19:50

to Charles Dickens' literary classic, A

19:52

Christmas Carol! Well I like our

19:54

versions better. It's more exuberant. But

19:56

people will take us more seriously

19:58

if we're referencing... something classical and

20:00

literary. But does that make for

20:03

good podcasting? Or do the people

20:05

want authenticity and relatability? I will

20:07

say, it's nice to know that

20:09

even though I might have been

20:11

a little defensive and you were

20:13

a little too nosy, our past

20:16

self still would have ended up

20:18

as friends. Even back then. Really?

20:20

You think so? Don't you? I

20:22

didn't get the impression your young

20:24

self was all that fond of

20:26

me. But you forget. I have

20:29

her memory. And talking to you,

20:31

improved her mood drastically. She definitely

20:33

would have found you again. Oh,

20:35

just goes to show, I guess.

20:37

You never know the full impact

20:39

you have on a person. You

20:42

can't see this listener, but Malique

20:44

just gave me a... Is that

20:46

an okay or a chef's kiss?

20:48

Hey, why not make it both?

20:50

Which I guess is the signal.

20:52

He thinks this is a good

20:55

place to wrap up. You don't

20:57

plan an ending, you feel it.

20:59

Like a force pulling you through

21:01

time, begging you to conclude. Before

21:03

we go, let's do a quick

21:05

reminder about supporting the show. Oh,

21:07

yes. Listener, if you enjoy our

21:10

charming adventures into the past, please

21:12

consider helping us out. You can

21:14

become a member for $5 a

21:16

month and listen to the show

21:18

ad-free. Or you can buy our

21:20

fantastic merch. Get one of those

21:23

Apocalypse Friendship Tank tops for your

21:25

grandma. Yes, or I don't know

21:27

a cute crop top for your

21:29

grandma. Honestly, Grammy will be slang.

21:31

And all these things help us

21:33

pay ourselves for the time we

21:36

spend making the show. So like,

21:38

your money directly into our pockets,

21:40

it's awesome. All of that is

21:42

at audacious machinecreative.com. Yes, and tell

21:44

your grandma and your friends about

21:46

the show. We love making this

21:49

and wanna reach more people navigating

21:51

through this strange upside-down world. So,

21:53

if you like hanging out with

21:55

us, invite your friends to do

21:57

the same. I think that's it.

21:59

Do you wanna plug your? So

22:01

yes, thank you so much. Okay,

22:04

on Apocalypse Cabaret, it's coming up.

22:06

We've decided on Tuesday the 21st

22:08

of November. Still working on the

22:10

exact time frame? Assume, evening, the

22:13

hours of adulthood. Unin' fucking

22:15

your lives with us. Do you

22:17

think you'll be able to make it

22:19

on the 21st? That's it. Let's talk

22:22

about that off, Mike. Yeah, okay.

22:24

Anyway, from me, Jamie. And

22:26

me, Malik. Please remember, we

22:28

may live in an indifferent

22:30

and stupid universe, but we

22:32

hope your baseline, and we

22:34

wish you all a better tomorrow.

22:36

And even when it's ashes, they'll

22:39

be part of me, that wishes

22:41

we could stay. Jamie and Malique

22:43

are played by Hillary Williams

22:46

and Michael Tarentime. This

22:48

episode was written by

22:50

Jay Gregory Moran. Directed

22:52

and edited by Jeffrey Mills

22:54

Gardner. Our show art is

22:56

by Carly Fairbanks. And our

22:58

bang and theme song is falling

23:01

in love at the end of

23:03

the world by Olivia and the

23:05

Lovers. World Gone Wrong is

23:07

produced and created by

23:09

Jeffrey Mills Gardner and

23:12

Eleanor Hyde. of Audacious

23:14

Machine Creative. The Fable

23:16

and Falling Network, where

23:19

fiction producers flourish. Today

23:21

we want to shout out

23:23

the podcast, Sleep and

23:26

Sorcerie. Sleep and Sorcerie

23:28

is a folklore and

23:30

fantasy-inspired sleep podcast featuring

23:32

original bedtime stories for

23:34

all ages. Each story

23:36

is written and narrated

23:39

by Laurel Hostak Jones

23:41

and paired with a

23:43

soothing meditation or body

23:45

scan to help you

23:47

fall asleep. Sleep and sorcery

23:49

is one part bedtime story,

23:52

one part guided meditation, and

23:54

one part dreamy adventure. These

23:56

cozy compassionate sleep stories

23:58

will inspire lovers of myth, fairy

24:01

tale, and and fantasy literature. The

24:03

The tales are beautifully written in

24:05

second -person perspective to immerse

24:07

you, you the listener, in a

24:09

world of myth and magic.

24:11

You can explore elven forests,

24:13

feast and enchanted castles, sail through

24:15

the cosmos, and fly with

24:17

dragons as you you fall asleep.

24:19

and sorcery helps countless people around

24:21

the world find meaningful rest,

24:24

and it can help you

24:26

fall asleep too. too. It's available

24:28

wherever you get podcasts, on

24:30

YouTube, on and on the on

24:32

Insight timer.

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