Episode Transcript
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while supplies last. Ladies
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and gentle folk, tonight
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you're going to be a
0:50
part of an experiment. An
0:52
experiment that will push the
0:54
boundaries of what we know,
0:56
not just about the immutable
0:58
laws of the universe, but
1:01
the medium of podcasting as
1:03
well. Tonight you will bear
1:05
witness to The Impossible as
1:08
my co-host Jamie and I, live,
1:10
and in real time, travel through
1:12
time. going out forever in a
1:14
month or so, but we all
1:17
knew the end was near. Nothing
1:19
to be done from here. So
1:21
I shook my head and on
1:23
to bed I go. Hello and
1:26
welcome back to World Gone Wrong
1:28
where two roommates try and make
1:30
sense of the strange and crazy
1:32
world and get our intro out of
1:34
the way as quick as possible. Which
1:36
wouldn't be a problem if one
1:38
of us wasn't late. I'm a
1:40
leak and I'm only late because
1:42
the bus has stopped running in
1:44
anticipation of the... And I'm Jamie.
1:46
Oh look at her. Interrupting me. I
1:48
remember when she paused not knowing when
1:51
to introduce herself. They podcast grow up
1:53
so fast. listen to this you'll probably
1:55
have been through one yourself. But we
1:57
thought it would be interesting as podcasting professionals.
1:59
to document our own experience for posterity.
2:01
Instruction. Right. This particular time distortion wave
2:04
should be fairly tame. They're calling it
2:06
a 10-year rewind, so no surprises or
2:08
trigger warnings to worry about. Right. No
2:10
one's gonna blink out of existence or
2:12
discover their own deaths. I actually know
2:14
someone who... No. Really? From my college,
2:16
and it was only five-year fast-forward too.
2:18
God, are they okay? I mean, can
2:21
you be? Knowing is bad enough, but
2:23
there's also the experience of... being dead
2:25
to deal with, like he felt it
2:27
being trapped in utter darkness, his body
2:29
decaying. I really hope that's just a
2:31
time distortion thing and not a when
2:33
you actually die thing. Yeah, I think
2:35
we all do. Anyway, none of that
2:38
here. We're just gonna be our teenage
2:40
selves again. Which might be bad enough.
2:42
Sass. This could happen any minute now.
2:44
I just want to say that we
2:46
at World Gone Wrong. Do not recommend
2:48
or endorse this, especially for parents of
2:50
young children. If you're in the path
2:52
of a time wave, please. Um,
2:58
hello? Hi? Hi, Jamie, right? And
3:00
you're Malik? Oh, it's Malik. I
3:03
assume you have a note too?
3:05
Dear Jamie, this is your future
3:07
self. I know, I know, I
3:10
know. Here are five things only
3:12
we know to prove this is
3:14
real. Oh, and then there's a
3:17
list of embarrassing things that I'm
3:19
not going to repeat. Malique and
3:21
I are making a podcast about
3:24
this time travel experience. I can't
3:26
believe that's a real sentence any
3:28
version of me ever wrote. Please
3:31
just engage with it. It'll all
3:33
make sense. I promise. Well, future
3:35
self. I'm here. I'm engaging with
3:38
it and it still does not
3:40
make sense. Mine is much nicer.
3:42
Dear Malique. Hello, my sweet summer
3:44
child. Definitely me. We are in
3:47
the middle of a podcast chronicling
3:49
the experience of actual time travel.
3:51
Capital TV. time capital T travel
3:54
I know I know this is
3:56
Jamie who you'll meet in years
3:58
to come don't worry she's very
4:01
cool I'm not that cool also
4:03
invest in zoom like the kids
4:05
show I guess see yeah this
4:08
is weird right very weird I
4:10
mean this is my handwriting and
4:12
this is my handwriting and this
4:15
is my handwriting and this is
4:17
my handwriting and this is my
4:19
handwriting and this is my handwriting
4:21
and this is my handwriting Like
4:24
some of this stuff I don't
4:26
recognize. I don't even know where
4:28
I am. Like some apartment? I
4:31
could be anywhere. Uh, no. I
4:33
recognize those best sounds though. So
4:35
I am still in Chicago. Oh,
4:38
we should probably do this podcast
4:40
thing. Oh, what kind of podcast
4:42
though? Like are we a chat
4:45
show? Are we an interview show?
4:47
Are we expected to have guests?
4:49
Or is the draw the charismatic
4:52
banter between the hosts? You seem
4:54
to have given their own podcast
4:56
at some point, right? Sure. Unfortunately,
4:58
the market's already bloated. Maybe if
5:01
I'd got in like 10 years
5:03
ago? When you were five? Eight.
5:05
Thank you very much. Oh, maybe
5:08
we're doing a journalism. Like that
5:10
new show serial. Have you listened
5:12
to serial yet? No. Oh my
5:15
God, you have to. It's so,
5:17
it's so good. Are you into
5:19
journalism? Oh God, no. I mean,
5:22
either. And I don't think we
5:24
could be doing like a radio
5:26
drama. Well, not really radio. Like
5:29
an audio fiction thing, you know,
5:31
like old time radio. War of
5:33
the world and the shadow, those
5:35
things. Well, it's like that, only
5:38
it's for podcasts. Are you like
5:40
an actor? Not unless aliens came
5:42
down and swapped out my personality.
5:45
Me neither. I mean, I've done
5:47
performance, but more of just things
5:49
I've written than anything like with
5:52
characters. What do you write? Poetry
5:54
mostly? Poetry slam. Oh, that's um...
5:56
I know what poetry slam is.
5:59
Oh! Cool. Coolio.
6:01
That's what I'm in
6:03
school for at the University
6:07
of Chicago. Poetry?
6:09
Yeah. What about you?
6:11
Are we really doing a
6:14
what's your major? Getting
6:16
to know you. Getting
6:18
to know all about
6:20
you. Maybe I was an
6:22
actor. I don't really know
6:24
yet. Something to do with
6:26
research maybe... Like science research? I
6:29
mean... Or like data analysis? Like
6:31
is your research more studies
6:33
or like computer stuff? Let me
6:35
answer. Sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted
6:37
you. No, it's okay. I just... I
6:40
don't know. Everyone wants me to
6:42
know exactly what I want to do and
6:44
have a goal and have a plan. Is
6:46
it your parents? Parents can
6:48
be like that. No, no, actually
6:51
my dad is fine with it.
6:53
Just dad? That is really, none
6:55
of your fucking business. Sorry,
6:57
sorry, I know, I, I pray.
7:00
Jesus. I have a big family,
7:02
mom, dad, grandma who lives with
7:04
us, three brothers, two sisters,
7:06
and I'm the youngest. Never
7:08
would have guessed. I'm sort
7:10
of used to snooping, I guess.
7:13
It's, okay. I just, this is so
7:15
stupid. What is me. doing a
7:17
podcast? Like, assuming this is all really
7:19
happening and I'm not about to wake
7:21
up or end up on some stupid
7:24
reality prank show, future me should know
7:26
better than to put me on a
7:28
podcast. I don't like to talk about myself
7:30
in real life. Why the fuck would
7:32
she think I'd want to talk about
7:34
myself to like a thousand people on
7:37
a podcast? Is a thousand people a
7:39
lot for a podcast? How should I
7:41
know? I'm just saying, probably it's just
7:43
like your dad and my grandma.
7:45
Oh, hey, Well, what about you? Are you
7:47
all about this podcasting life?
7:49
Oh yeah, this was definitely
7:52
my idea. You do seem a little
7:54
more outgoing. Oh, you don't need
7:56
to be outgoing to do a
7:58
podcast. You just need... a persona. A
8:00
persona? Yeah, a performative version
8:02
of yourself. Like, the you
8:04
that gets up in front
8:07
of the class to do
8:09
a report is not the
8:11
same as the you who
8:13
hangs out with your friends.
8:15
It's more presentational for your
8:17
audience. And what sort of
8:19
persona do you think I
8:21
have? Hmm. From my extensive
8:23
knowledge of you, you would
8:25
be the... I'm trying to
8:27
think of a better term
8:29
than straight man. Definitely not
8:31
a man and also... Never
8:33
mind. Hmm. How about foil?
8:35
That's a good not a
8:37
man term. A foil for
8:39
my exuberance. The voice of
8:41
reason. Someone who takes things
8:43
seriously and brings us back
8:45
to reality when we fly
8:47
too far afield. Does that
8:49
sound a bit like you?
8:51
I mean, it doesn't not
8:53
sound like me. Wait. Are
8:55
you saying I'm not fun?
8:57
Not what I said. You
8:59
said exuberance. Well, we already
9:01
established I'm the outgoing one.
9:03
I can be exuberant too.
9:05
I can be fun. No
9:07
one's saying you can't. I
9:09
just... I can be a
9:11
lot. I know. My family
9:13
is big and when we
9:15
get together, it can take
9:18
a lot to get noticed.
9:20
Also as mentioned, I'm the
9:22
youngest. So you're getting energy
9:24
and need for attention from
9:26
both sides. That's... Probably not
9:28
terrible for me. I can
9:30
be, if we're going to
9:32
psychoanalyze ourselves, I sometimes need
9:34
someone to pull me out
9:36
of ruts. See? And that
9:38
can be what I bring
9:40
to our podcasting partnership. I
9:42
guess. As long as you
9:44
understand that I am fun.
9:46
Hey! Hey, look at me.
9:48
I'm having fun. Okay? Probably
9:50
the most fun I've had
9:52
in a while. That's really
9:54
sad. I didn't mean. No,
9:56
um... It is. I am.
9:58
Kind of. I'm sorry.
10:00
It's fine. I'm just... College
10:02
is a whole thing. I'm
10:04
used to having my family
10:06
and most of them have
10:08
moved away, like all over
10:10
the place away, and we
10:12
talk on the phone and
10:14
text and stuff, but, you
10:16
know, it's not the same.
10:18
And now I'm in college
10:21
and I'm in a dorm,
10:23
and my roommate is some
10:25
business major who I'm pretty
10:27
sure isn't exactly comfortable with
10:29
the gay black kid who
10:31
sleeps across from him. but
10:33
he's too afraid how it'll
10:35
come across if he says
10:37
so. Oh, fuck him. Yes,
10:39
but also, absolutely not. He's
10:41
not that cute. Anyway, I
10:43
guess I haven't really had
10:45
someone to talk to. This
10:47
is basically the best conversation
10:49
I've had. Although, also not,
10:51
I guess, because am I
10:53
really me or am I
10:55
just a deaged older me?
10:57
Yeah. Ooh, what kind of
10:59
time travel rules do you
11:01
think we're dealing with? Right?
11:03
Like are these back to
11:05
the future rules? Can we
11:07
change the future? Are we
11:09
going to fade away or
11:11
accidentally invent rock and roll?
11:13
I'd assume not. Though your
11:15
future sells. Ooh, can we
11:17
call them the old? Yes.
11:19
So your old gave you
11:21
an investment tip. Knowing me,
11:23
it's probably just a joke
11:25
for himself. I mean, I'm
11:27
not exactly the investment type.
11:29
We won't truly know until
11:31
we reage and find out
11:33
if you're rich. Personally, I'd
11:35
be more inclined to believe
11:37
we're in a close-loop system,
11:39
like 12 monkeys. I don't
11:41
know what that is. Terminator?
11:43
That, I know. The first
11:45
two, at least. There are
11:47
only two. The point is,
11:49
by those rules, anything we
11:51
might try to do here
11:53
won't have any effect in
11:55
the past because we always
11:57
did them and would do
11:59
them, and so everything works
12:01
out the exact same way.
12:03
Although, That one I have
12:05
seen. Not that I think
12:08
we're in a time loop.
12:10
I just don't think we
12:12
can affect anything around us.
12:14
Like, we'll just be reset.
12:16
So the olds trying to
12:18
record us are going to
12:20
wake up to an empty
12:22
sound file? I mean, that's
12:24
possible. That would be really
12:26
stupid. Not saying we're stupid
12:28
or our olds are stupid,
12:30
that situation would be super
12:32
stupid. A universal stupid? Yes,
12:34
the universe is stupid. As
12:36
we live in an indifferent
12:38
and stupid universe, most likely,
12:40
that would be the case.
12:42
Alternatively, we could live in
12:44
a less stupid universe governed
12:46
by doctor who time travel
12:48
rules. Things only matter when
12:50
we want them to, otherwise,
12:52
who cares? Who, otherwise, who
12:54
cares? Ooh, I like Doctor
12:56
Who rolls. Yeah. So what
12:58
are your poems like? Only
13:00
the most epic displays of
13:02
lyrical recitation since the haughty
13:04
days when the epics of
13:06
the world passed from poet
13:08
to poet through memorization and
13:10
improvisation. But like what topic?
13:12
Depends on my mood. Sometimes
13:14
something serious or personal. Usually
13:16
about some boy I like.
13:18
Okay. Can I can I
13:20
hear one? Okay, sure. I
13:22
usually keep some notebooks somewhere
13:24
around here. Oh, here. Wow.
13:26
What is it? What's the
13:28
feeling where you pick up
13:30
a completely filled beaten up
13:32
old notebook that you only
13:34
just bought? I believe that's
13:36
called what the fuck. In
13:38
that case, allow me to
13:40
utter a most existential what
13:42
the fuck. What the fuck.
13:44
Okay, um, hmm. Here is
13:46
one I wrote a few
13:48
days ago. Me, me, not
13:50
me old. I've forgotten how
13:53
to breathe. Forgotten too, breathe.
13:55
In, out, or out in?
13:57
How do lungs work? like
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we're back. Meaning we are back the
15:00
olds. Ugh, I did not expect so
15:02
much shade to be thrown at us out
15:04
of the past. Yeah, use those days, am
15:06
I right? Get off the lawn, I don't
15:08
have, because home ownership is an
15:10
unattainable pipe dream of a
15:12
bygone era. Okay, Zuma. So, the
15:15
experience of being young again. Thought.
15:17
Definitely weird. Definitely. It's
15:20
strange because the memory I have
15:22
of what happened. I remember it
15:24
chronologically. If that makes sense. I
15:26
remember it happening a few hours
15:28
ago, not 10 years ago, but
15:31
I remember it as me from
15:33
10 years ago. Yeah. How does
15:35
that even work? How does any
15:37
of this work? Tishe. The
15:39
detransition was certainly interesting. Oh
15:41
how it was gradual. Yeah, like
15:43
the wave was sudden, but then
15:45
the way everything slowly aged back up.
15:48
Yeah, I could have I could have done
15:50
without some of that. What do you mean?
15:52
Just the twinge in my knee from when
15:54
I dislocated it fading in or the 20
15:56
pounds I've put on since I was 19
15:58
pushing its way out. Oh. Please, you look
16:01
gorgeous! Okay, I'm not saying that
16:03
I don't. I'm just saying, I
16:05
was definitely in better shape when
16:07
I was on a roller hockey
16:09
team. And the sensation, the pressure
16:11
against the inside of my skin
16:14
was, it was unsettling. I was
16:16
thinking of the way memories kind
16:18
of slid into place. Like someone
16:20
shelving books. Leave it to the
16:22
librarian to come up with that
16:24
metaphor. Simile, actually, I said like.
16:27
You've had one tusche, yes, but
16:29
what about a second tusche? What
16:31
are your thoughts on the whole
16:33
time travel thing? The more mature
16:35
knowledgeable thoughts of one who has
16:37
experienced life? Oh yes, those. No
16:40
idea. What about you? Well, I've
16:42
been thinking about this as a
16:44
trip into the past, right? A
16:46
tenure rewind, we'd be transformed into
16:48
our younger bodies, but now I
16:50
feel like it was the opposite.
16:52
A trip into the future for
16:55
our past selves. So do you
16:57
think things can change based on
16:59
what our past selves see? Am
17:01
I rich now? No. No, and
17:03
also no. It's pretty obvious we
17:05
can't affect past events from these
17:08
temporal distortions, but, but we here
17:10
in the present can learn things
17:12
about ourselves. Things we might have
17:14
forgotten. I definitely forgot how kind
17:16
of, were people still saying emo
17:18
in 2014? No idea. How emo
17:21
I was back then. And defensive.
17:23
My mom's death was only a
17:25
couple years before and I was
17:27
still several years out from dealing
17:29
with any of it. And I
17:31
could see, feel, yeah, I could
17:34
feel elements of my depression that
17:36
were present, but that I wasn't
17:38
aware of at the time. Or,
17:40
or I can now, thinking and
17:42
listening back to it. I know
17:44
what you mean. I totally forgot
17:47
I was once a lonely little
17:49
college freshman. Possibly on purpose. Yeah,
17:51
I have a hard time imagining
17:53
you without like a posse no,
17:55
no a passle of friends. Ooh,
17:57
passle, good word. I thought you'd
17:59
like it. Well, listener, it is
18:02
true. I too have felt, gay
18:04
gasp, alone. I know, I know.
18:06
But do not worry about younger
18:08
me too much. He would soon
18:10
find his people amidst the student
18:12
center open mics and the gay,
18:15
gay parties. Yes, that's right, both
18:17
the meanings. And after years of
18:19
fieldwork and the art and craft
18:21
of extra version, he would emerge
18:23
as the exceptional podcast host, poetry,
18:25
1001TA, and hospitality professional, you hear,
18:28
before you. So maybe rewines are
18:30
less about traveling into the past
18:32
and more about offering our present
18:34
selves perspective. Unless that perspective is
18:36
not being born yet. It's an
18:38
imperfect theory. Where does that land
18:41
us vis-a-vis the rules of time
18:43
travel? I'm going to go with
18:45
a controversial choice. Freaky Friday. Body
18:47
swap is not time travel. Okay,
18:49
listen, that is true. Body swapping
18:51
is not time travel, but much
18:53
like what we experienced, the body
18:56
swap is not meant to be
18:58
a way to change your past,
19:00
but gain perspective on your present
19:02
through a glimpse of a life
19:04
you either previously led or will
19:06
someday lead. And so, I feel
19:09
it is apt. What about you?
19:11
Well, I was far more grounded
19:13
and followed the rules of the
19:15
assignment. Disney's The Kid, starring Bruce
19:17
Willis as a man who is
19:19
visited by his younger self. I've
19:22
never seen that. No spoilers, but
19:24
its use of time travel is
19:26
very much what you've been describing.
19:28
Not about changing the past, but
19:30
in gaining perspective about yourself. About
19:32
healing and deciding how you want
19:35
to move forward in the future.
19:37
Oh. Another good example of that.
19:39
A Christmas Carol? Oh my gosh,
19:41
yes! Why didn't we say that
19:43
at the beginning? Listeners, pretend everything
19:45
we just said we did not
19:48
say. It was all in reference
19:50
to Charles Dickens' literary classic, A
19:52
Christmas Carol! Well I like our
19:54
versions better. It's more exuberant. But
19:56
people will take us more seriously
19:58
if we're referencing... something classical and
20:00
literary. But does that make for
20:03
good podcasting? Or do the people
20:05
want authenticity and relatability? I will
20:07
say, it's nice to know that
20:09
even though I might have been
20:11
a little defensive and you were
20:13
a little too nosy, our past
20:16
self still would have ended up
20:18
as friends. Even back then. Really?
20:20
You think so? Don't you? I
20:22
didn't get the impression your young
20:24
self was all that fond of
20:26
me. But you forget. I have
20:29
her memory. And talking to you,
20:31
improved her mood drastically. She definitely
20:33
would have found you again. Oh,
20:35
just goes to show, I guess.
20:37
You never know the full impact
20:39
you have on a person. You
20:42
can't see this listener, but Malique
20:44
just gave me a... Is that
20:46
an okay or a chef's kiss?
20:48
Hey, why not make it both?
20:50
Which I guess is the signal.
20:52
He thinks this is a good
20:55
place to wrap up. You don't
20:57
plan an ending, you feel it.
20:59
Like a force pulling you through
21:01
time, begging you to conclude. Before
21:03
we go, let's do a quick
21:05
reminder about supporting the show. Oh,
21:07
yes. Listener, if you enjoy our
21:10
charming adventures into the past, please
21:12
consider helping us out. You can
21:14
become a member for $5 a
21:16
month and listen to the show
21:18
ad-free. Or you can buy our
21:20
fantastic merch. Get one of those
21:23
Apocalypse Friendship Tank tops for your
21:25
grandma. Yes, or I don't know
21:27
a cute crop top for your
21:29
grandma. Honestly, Grammy will be slang.
21:31
And all these things help us
21:33
pay ourselves for the time we
21:36
spend making the show. So like,
21:38
your money directly into our pockets,
21:40
it's awesome. All of that is
21:42
at audacious machinecreative.com. Yes, and tell
21:44
your grandma and your friends about
21:46
the show. We love making this
21:49
and wanna reach more people navigating
21:51
through this strange upside-down world. So,
21:53
if you like hanging out with
21:55
us, invite your friends to do
21:57
the same. I think that's it.
21:59
Do you wanna plug your? So
22:01
yes, thank you so much. Okay,
22:04
on Apocalypse Cabaret, it's coming up.
22:06
We've decided on Tuesday the 21st
22:08
of November. Still working on the
22:10
exact time frame? Assume, evening, the
22:13
hours of adulthood. Unin' fucking
22:15
your lives with us. Do you
22:17
think you'll be able to make it
22:19
on the 21st? That's it. Let's talk
22:22
about that off, Mike. Yeah, okay.
22:24
Anyway, from me, Jamie. And
22:26
me, Malik. Please remember, we
22:28
may live in an indifferent
22:30
and stupid universe, but we
22:32
hope your baseline, and we
22:34
wish you all a better tomorrow.
22:36
And even when it's ashes, they'll
22:39
be part of me, that wishes
22:41
we could stay. Jamie and Malique
22:43
are played by Hillary Williams
22:46
and Michael Tarentime. This
22:48
episode was written by
22:50
Jay Gregory Moran. Directed
22:52
and edited by Jeffrey Mills
22:54
Gardner. Our show art is
22:56
by Carly Fairbanks. And our
22:58
bang and theme song is falling
23:01
in love at the end of
23:03
the world by Olivia and the
23:05
Lovers. World Gone Wrong is
23:07
produced and created by
23:09
Jeffrey Mills Gardner and
23:12
Eleanor Hyde. of Audacious
23:14
Machine Creative. The Fable
23:16
and Falling Network, where
23:19
fiction producers flourish. Today
23:21
we want to shout out
23:23
the podcast, Sleep and
23:26
Sorcerie. Sleep and Sorcerie
23:28
is a folklore and
23:30
fantasy-inspired sleep podcast featuring
23:32
original bedtime stories for
23:34
all ages. Each story
23:36
is written and narrated
23:39
by Laurel Hostak Jones
23:41
and paired with a
23:43
soothing meditation or body
23:45
scan to help you
23:47
fall asleep. Sleep and sorcery
23:49
is one part bedtime story,
23:52
one part guided meditation, and
23:54
one part dreamy adventure. These
23:56
cozy compassionate sleep stories
23:58
will inspire lovers of myth, fairy
24:01
tale, and and fantasy literature. The
24:03
The tales are beautifully written in
24:05
second -person perspective to immerse
24:07
you, you the listener, in a
24:09
world of myth and magic.
24:11
You can explore elven forests,
24:13
feast and enchanted castles, sail through
24:15
the cosmos, and fly with
24:17
dragons as you you fall asleep.
24:19
and sorcery helps countless people around
24:21
the world find meaningful rest,
24:24
and it can help you
24:26
fall asleep too. too. It's available
24:28
wherever you get podcasts, on
24:30
YouTube, on and on the on
24:32
Insight timer.
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