Episode 1637 - Jessica Kirson

Episode 1637 - Jessica Kirson

Released Thursday, 24th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
Episode 1637 - Jessica Kirson

Episode 1637 - Jessica Kirson

Episode 1637 - Jessica Kirson

Episode 1637 - Jessica Kirson

Thursday, 24th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

All right, let's do this.

0:02

How are you? What

0:04

the fuckers? What the

0:06

fuck buddies? What the

0:08

fuck nicks? What the

0:10

hell is happening? How

0:12

are you? What's going

0:14

on? Where are you

0:16

at? Well, look, you

0:18

know, today, this is

0:20

a great episode. For

0:22

me. I don't know what difference

0:25

that makes to you, but I

0:27

imagine to make some, but this

0:29

to me is one of my

0:32

favorite conversations in a long

0:34

time. I'm not saying they're not

0:36

all great in some way, but

0:39

emotionally and connectivity wise and just

0:41

funny wise, this episode was a

0:43

relief and a treat for me to

0:46

do. I'll try to explain it

0:48

to you. Well, today I talked

0:50

to Jessica Kurzon. She was on

0:52

the show back in 2019 on

0:55

episode 1076. If you want, you

0:57

can go back to that episode

0:59

to hear about her starting comedy

1:01

and her personal background.

1:04

But she came back just to

1:06

kind of hang out, have a

1:08

few laughs, and you know, talk

1:11

about her new comedy special on

1:13

Hulu called I'm the Man.

1:15

Now Jessica is somebody that

1:17

I'm always happy to see. For

1:19

a very specific reason, there

1:21

is a Jewish thing, okay?

1:23

And look, I'm at an age now. I'm

1:26

61 years old. Now, a lot of

1:28

times, you know, no matter what is

1:30

happening in the world or, you know,

1:33

how, you know, preoccupied you

1:35

are with everything happening or what's

1:37

on your phone or what's in

1:39

your life, or, you know, just

1:42

like when you really realize how

1:44

much time you spend just... you

1:46

know, pummeling your brain with all

1:48

kinds of bullshit distractions and things

1:51

in your life, that the idea of,

1:53

you know, really connecting with

1:55

somebody, I don't know if you

1:57

notice it happening or you take

1:59

it for granted. or it doesn't

2:02

happen, I don't know. Look, you

2:04

have people in your life, you

2:06

have your kids, and everything becomes

2:08

a pattern. You know, everything becomes

2:10

a way of, you have a

2:13

way of interacting with most people.

2:15

Sometimes you connect in, you know,

2:17

moments of crisis, or occasionally you

2:19

have a few laughs or whatever,

2:22

but to really have some historical

2:24

connection with someone that transcends your

2:26

relationship with them. It's kind of

2:28

an amazing thing. And you know,

2:30

when I was younger, there was

2:33

a period there where you always

2:35

saw, you kind of knew all

2:37

the other Jews. There was just

2:39

a way about Jewish culture that

2:41

just kind of like connected you

2:44

all. And I feel that to

2:46

a degree, but now I'm an

2:48

old Jew, and I'm of a

2:50

different time. But with Jessica, Jessica

2:53

is not that much younger than

2:55

me, but she's about five years

2:57

younger than me or so. But

2:59

there's just something about her, and

3:01

I knew it immediately years ago,

3:04

there was just this kind of,

3:06

look, we've both got, how should

3:08

I say, and yet a spilcus,

3:10

where we have chronic spilcus, her

3:13

and I, and that's just sort

3:15

of like a state of anxiety

3:17

in patients, agitation, restlessness. It's, you

3:19

know, I'm taking medicine from my

3:21

spilcus, to be honest with you.

3:24

But the point, I guess I'm

3:26

trying to make is that at

3:28

my age, it's not even nostalgia.

3:30

There's something, you know, at the

3:32

core of all of us that

3:35

we come from historically, a family

3:37

of origin stuff, that, you know,

3:39

it doesn't, it doesn't go away.

3:41

It kind of defines who you

3:44

are, but how often do you

3:46

really kind of dig into the

3:48

roots of it? Not even on

3:50

purpose. And this conversation I have

3:52

with Jessica was beautiful because... I

3:55

think her and I, people in

3:57

their 60s, I mean, we're probably

3:59

the cutoff, there was a generation

4:01

of Jews that sort of defined

4:04

what American middle-class Judaism was. Most

4:06

of these people are either first

4:08

generation or second generation of immigrants,

4:10

like my grandma Goldie was born

4:12

in Poland, as was her brother

4:15

Georgie, and they came over when

4:17

she was like three or four

4:19

years old. My grandpa Jack, Jacob,

4:22

her husband was born here, but

4:24

his parents were not. My grandpa

4:26

Ben. My father's father, his father

4:29

was born in Russia. My grandma,

4:31

Eleanor, I believe she was born in

4:33

Poland, or no, maybe she was born

4:35

here, but her parents, you know, come

4:38

from, they might have been here a

4:40

little earlier. None of my grandparents, you

4:42

know, left Germany because

4:44

of the Holocaust. Most of my

4:47

family was here before that. But

4:49

the point I'm making is that

4:51

there was a, once the immigrant

4:53

experience... moved on the next generation

4:55

after the Lower East Side, you know,

4:58

and then they spread out and sometimes I

5:00

didn't even go to the Lower East

5:02

Side. They ended up in New Jersey

5:04

or, you know, some of them ended

5:06

up in, you know, New York, the

5:08

Long Island thing, but there was a

5:10

generation of Jews that sort of defined,

5:13

you know, what American Jews were, and

5:15

it's very familiar to me, and it

5:17

used to be very familiar culturally. But

5:19

now maybe not. Maybe it's sort of

5:21

a stereotype. But like, you know, somebody

5:23

like Larry David is a little older

5:25

than me, but like his parents' generation

5:27

would have been what I'm talking about.

5:30

And I think he, like more than

5:32

anybody else publicly, kind of represents that

5:34

type of Jewish character or that type

5:36

of Jewish history or that type of

5:38

Jewish sensibility. But I grew up with

5:41

it. Like I grew up with my

5:43

grandparents. And this is like a generational

5:45

thing. You know, my grandparents were of

5:47

that generation. You know, where you got,

5:50

we were in New Jersey before we

5:52

left Jersey when I was like, you

5:54

know, six or seven, but I always

5:56

went back there. You know, my grandmother

5:58

would have, you know, these, these. afternoon

6:01

dinners where everyone would come

6:03

over, you'd have, you know,

6:05

Goldie and Jack, my grandparents,

6:07

Goldie's brother, Georgie, his wife

6:09

Bertha, their daughter Phyllis, and

6:11

her husband Marty, my grandma's

6:13

cousin Sylvia, and her husband

6:15

Ellis, my grandma's sister Gussie,

6:17

and her husband Sam, and

6:19

their son Harold, my aunt

6:21

Barbara, like, it was like,

6:23

I know this just sounds

6:25

like, well, what's a big

6:27

deal, it's just a barbecue

6:29

or whatever, it's not. It

6:32

was a bunch of Jews of a

6:34

certain type that existed in a time,

6:36

and that time is gone. You know,

6:38

people are under like, why are there

6:40

no more delis anymore? Because everyone who

6:43

we used to eat at them is

6:45

dead. And it's a novelty thing now.

6:47

Like I still go to Cantor's deli

6:49

here, but like whatever, the only thing

6:51

that's there is your sense of nostalgia

6:54

and the structure of the place and

6:56

what's in that deli case. But the

6:58

people that used to populate these places

7:00

on the daily, they're all gone, most

7:03

of them. unless there's a generational thing

7:05

where like people my age go back.

7:07

But you can't eat that way all

7:09

the time. We all knew that. And

7:11

we know that now and that's why

7:14

you know some of them might have

7:16

died, but they enjoyed themselves. But the

7:18

thing about Jessica Curzon is that like

7:20

she comes from this too. And we

7:22

are wired that way. There is a

7:25

voice within us that speaks this language.

7:27

of what we grew up with in

7:29

New Jersey with the generation of our

7:31

parents and their parents more specifically. Like

7:33

my parents were already kind of like

7:36

had enough of it on some level.

7:38

You know, they went to New Mexico.

7:40

I'm not, her parents were around, but

7:42

that generation was sort of a little

7:44

different. They were, you know, they had

7:47

their own thing going, but they were

7:49

the generation that kind of went through

7:51

the 60s and 70s and whatever, however

7:53

that changed culture, but the bedrock of...

7:56

this thing, you know, were these old

7:58

Jews. And I don't believe that I

8:00

would be the person I am without,

8:02

you know, my grandma Goldie, because my

8:04

parents were kind of self-involved and. And

8:07

my grandma Goldie just thought I was

8:09

the best thing ever. I was the

8:11

first grand kid on both sides, so

8:13

I got a lot of attention. My

8:15

father's parents spent in Elinor, I spend

8:18

time with them and my cousin's a

8:20

bit, but my grandma Goldie, if I

8:22

went to New Jersey, I was at

8:24

Goldie in Jack's house. Goldie would sit

8:26

in there, recliner, and do the crosswords.

8:29

Jack would lay on the couch on

8:31

his side with his arm up in

8:33

the air for some reason. might have

8:35

been circulatory. He'd watched sports, he'd love

8:38

to watch the Three Stooges, you know,

8:40

the Marx Brothers, the Bowery Boy, you

8:42

know, it was just this thing. And

8:44

my grandmother loved comedy. She used to

8:46

tell me stories about going to see

8:49

Buddy Hackett in Vegas. And when I

8:51

was a little kid, she goes, I

8:53

love Buddy Hackett. He's filthy, but he's

8:55

very funny, very funny. I Don Rickles,

8:57

I enjoy. You know, he apologizes very

9:00

nicely after the show. You know, this

9:02

was, this informed me. I was an

9:04

old Jew before I was, you know,

9:06

a teenager. And I had a kind

9:08

of reverence. for it. And like even

9:11

when I was in college I did

9:13

Don't Drink the Water, I played the

9:15

the patriarch and I did the whole

9:17

thing with the Dennis and the that

9:19

and the whatever. And I would have

9:22

become that had I not pushed back

9:24

on it. I mean even when I

9:26

was in college I worked at a

9:28

place called Gordon's Deli up in a

9:31

pottingham circle in Boston. It was a

9:33

Jewish deli in Boston. One of the

9:35

last ones, the guy who ran it

9:37

was Shelley. I talked to Jessica about

9:39

this, I don't want to ruin it

9:42

for you, it for you. But I

9:44

was so at that point, I'm like,

9:46

I want to immerse myself in this.

9:48

You know, I want to know that

9:50

deli case. I want to cut the

9:53

corn beef. I want to serve the

9:55

sandwiches. And I want to sort of

9:57

immerse myself in that generation's culture. And

9:59

because it is part of my heart,

10:01

you know, but like I remember going

10:04

to Vegas, we grew up in New

10:06

Mexico, we'd meet my grandparents in Vegas,

10:08

you know, when there was some sort

10:10

of convention, they'd go out there once

10:13

a year, would be at the MGM

10:15

Grand. And, you know, I remember asking,

10:17

I must have been in college, I

10:19

remember asking my grandmother, do you like

10:21

coming to Vegas? And she said, you

10:24

know, it was nicer when the boys

10:26

ran things. And there's such a joy.

10:29

For me, and it just doesn't

10:31

happen that often. I can't remember

10:33

the last time that happened to

10:35

reminisce about that childhood around those

10:37

people and what that world looked

10:39

like and how we see it

10:42

now. And it just happened organically

10:44

in this conversation with Jessica. You

10:46

know, it just happened. But the...

10:48

Even though I never talk to

10:50

Jessica, but I see her, I'm

10:52

always excited, but the connection is

10:54

crazy. And it's such a gift.

10:57

And it just, when I was

10:59

younger, I noticed it more because,

11:01

you know, I was around more

11:03

Jewish kids here and there, whether

11:05

it was my cousins in New

11:07

Jersey or you go to New

11:09

York, there was a familiarity to

11:12

the whole thing. And now, like,

11:14

I haven't been around that in

11:16

a long time, you know, whatever

11:18

anyone thinks about Hollywood, there may

11:20

be a lot of Jews here,

11:22

but culturally, I'm not hanging out

11:25

in that world where, you know,

11:27

we have these conversations, That it

11:29

was just such a it's not

11:31

even nostalgic. It was like reconnecting

11:33

with your fucking roots It was

11:35

deep. I don't even know if

11:37

it'll translate to you people how

11:40

much we were laughing at this

11:42

shit But it was so it

11:44

was so grounding two crazy fucking

11:46

you know 50-something and 60-something year-old

11:48

Jewish comedians doing this thing that

11:50

it wasn't about comedy. It was

11:52

about our roots arc are, you

11:55

know, what defined us, what we

11:57

came from as children. You know,

11:59

my parents were married in Jeff

12:01

Ross's family's catering hall. We found

12:03

that out recently. His family owned

12:05

a catering hall in Jersey. It

12:08

was very popular place to have

12:10

events, and my parents were married

12:12

there. I remember going into fucking

12:14

Patterson with my grandmother. I think

12:16

a place was called Pay Tax

12:18

or something. We just have to

12:20

drive for 45 minutes to buy

12:23

fish, smoked fish. And it was,

12:25

we'd go to the Pomped and

12:27

Queen's Diner. It's like, it all

12:29

has to do with Jersey, man,

12:31

diner culture, deli culture, buying smoked

12:33

fish culture, you know, catering all

12:36

culture. I mean, it's all gone.

12:38

It's all gone. And when, and

12:40

after talking to, to Jessica... I

12:42

realize what a fucking gift it

12:44

was to grow up in it.

12:46

Because I really think we had

12:48

to be the last generation that

12:51

did in a general way. Sure,

12:53

everyone's got, you know, having grandparents

12:55

that spoke Yiddish when they didn't

12:57

want you to understand things. You

12:59

know, and I've had these Jewish

13:01

conversations with people before, but usually

13:03

there's something about the orthodox community

13:06

that have maintained this, but this

13:08

is not, we were not orthodox.

13:10

We were just sort of, you

13:12

know, middle class. culturally Jewish, we

13:14

did the thing, got the barmissvas,

13:16

went to temple when we were

13:19

supposed to, but it was really

13:21

a cultural thing. So it wasn't

13:23

immersive in a religious way, but

13:25

culturally it was very specific. And

13:27

it was just, you know, it

13:29

was like enriching and sort of

13:31

emotional to have this hilarious... connection

13:34

and conversation with Jessica on this

13:36

episode. And like, oh look, there's

13:38

been plenty of Julie episodes, but

13:40

it was like, it was almost

13:42

like you look. in the mirror

13:44

or you're looking at your sibling

13:46

or you're looking at somebody that

13:49

went through something with you and

13:51

you come from the same communal

13:53

identity that goes back you know

13:55

to the beginning of time. It's

13:57

crazy. I'm a dynasty typewriter here

13:59

in LA this Saturday, April 26th,

14:02

and again next Tuesday, April 29th.

14:04

Toronto, I'm at the Winter Garden

14:06

on Saturday, May 3rd, for two

14:08

shows. Burlington, Vermont, I'm at the

14:10

Vermont Comedy Club for two shows

14:12

on Monday, May 5th, and one

14:14

show Tuesday, May 6th. Port Smith,

14:17

New Hampshire, I'll be at the

14:19

music hall on Wednesday, May 7th.

14:21

Then I'm in Brooklyn for my

14:23

HBO special taping at the Bam

14:25

Harvey Theater on May 10th, two

14:27

shows there. Go to wtfpod.com/tour for

14:29

all my dates and links to

14:32

tickets. Currently, my inner self is

14:34

trying to completely take down my

14:36

outer self. Before the special, this

14:38

is something that always happens around

14:40

a couple weeks before. We're almost

14:42

there where I decide that the

14:45

shirt I want to wear is

14:47

too tight, that my haircut stinks,

14:49

that I'm too fat to do

14:51

it, that I'm not... I'm not

14:53

very good at what I do.

14:55

There's some part of me, no

14:57

matter how much cognitive work or

15:00

just acting as if I've done,

15:02

and no matter how professional I

15:04

am out in the world and

15:06

capable and doing a great job,

15:08

when I'm converging on something important

15:10

to me, my inner self is

15:12

like, well, we're going to take

15:15

you down. You're going down, buddy.

15:17

We just want to make it

15:19

as challenging as possible. There's no

15:21

reason to be comfortable with yourself

15:23

as you enter this important day

15:25

where you do your new work.

15:28

We're going to just, it's already,

15:30

you know, a big, a big

15:32

task and an exciting one, but,

15:34

you know, it's a big job.

15:36

We just want to make sure

15:38

that you're as destabilized as possible

15:40

when we get to the day.

15:43

So now fortunately I'm on to

15:45

that, but it's happening. So look

15:47

folks. There's a documentary about me

15:49

that I watched with a full

15:51

audience recently, and when I watched

15:53

it, I had an uncomfortable realization.

15:55

I cannot keep my pants up.

15:58

I don't know why they're always

16:00

falling down. I swear to God

16:02

when I buy them, they fit,

16:04

they look good when I buy

16:06

them, but at some point they

16:08

just make their way below my

16:11

stomach down to that beltline and

16:13

then they hang off my ass.

16:15

I don't know why. It is

16:17

a thing and I'm not happy

16:19

about it. I just don't like

16:21

having pants up over my belly

16:23

button. I don't like having pants

16:26

up over my belly button. I

16:28

don't like the way it looks.

16:30

I don't like the way it

16:32

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briefs and because skims are tight

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17:00

if my pants start sweeping again.

17:02

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underwear. Okay, so you're

17:45

ready to lock in

17:48

with a couple of

17:50

very anxious but excited

17:52

middle-aged Jews laughing their

17:54

asses off talking about

17:56

their childhood? Well, that's...

17:58

about to happen. Jessica

18:00

Carson's Hulu Special, I'm

18:02

the man, premieres tomorrow,

18:04

April 25th. But enjoy

18:06

this, will you? Enjoy

18:08

us talking. We did. Folks,

18:11

we're only a few months into the

18:13

year and I've already been all over

18:15

the country in 2025 doing my stand-up

18:17

dates. I've been up to Napa and

18:19

Sacramento, then back down to Santa Barbara

18:21

and Monterey. I was in Colorado and

18:23

back in my hometown of Albuquerque, then

18:25

the Midwest. And it's odd, even when

18:27

I've been to a town, that I'm

18:29

always surprised and I always do. There

18:32

are certain things I like to do

18:34

that I always do, but I'd never

18:36

driven over the black mountainses of Kentucky.

18:38

You know, when you get out there

18:40

and you get out in the world

18:42

and you get off the interstate, you

18:44

know, you get to really take it

18:46

in. And I've got plenty more travel

18:48

to come as I build up to

18:50

taping my stand-up special. Traveling is a

18:53

big part of my life. And if

18:55

you do even a fraction of the

18:57

traveling that I do, you might start

18:59

thinking about hosting your place on Airbnb

19:01

while you're away. And now you can

19:03

get a co-host to handle all the

19:05

hosting duties for you. These are high

19:07

quality local co-hosts. I

19:17

guess for some reason. I'm a little

19:19

emotional. Do you ever watch, I don't

19:21

know what the fuck is wrong with

19:24

me. You're emotional? I'm very emotional. What

19:26

happened? Have you ever seen that clip?

19:28

It's a Graham Norton hosted thing where

19:31

he had all these Adela in personators?

19:33

No. It's fucking ridiculous. It's like, it's

19:35

all these women and one drag queen

19:38

who were Adela personators. And before the

19:40

contest, they got the real Adele and

19:42

they put a fake nose on her

19:45

makeup and she's one of the impersonators,

19:47

right? Oh, that's so funny. And all

19:49

these ones, they all go up there,

19:51

all the different ones. You know, there's

19:54

like five or six of them and

19:56

they're fine. they're good. You know, and

19:58

they're all talking backstage to the real

20:01

adult who's like, I'm nervous. You know,

20:03

and when she comes out at the

20:05

end, and they're all sitting there, there's

20:08

just like seven or eight of them

20:10

watching this woman. And you can see

20:12

them realize it because they don't recognize

20:15

her, but they hear the voice and

20:17

there's these moments like, like, like, like,

20:19

it just made me cry, it made

20:22

me cry three times. Really? I didn't

20:24

watch it all three times today, but

20:26

every time I see it, it just

20:28

came up. What makes you cry about

20:31

it? That's a good question. I don't

20:33

really know. There's something about singing in

20:35

general that I find very moving. Yeah.

20:38

But I think it's these, you know,

20:40

these women who love her and spend

20:42

their life trying to be her out

20:45

of this peculiar phantom and talent. having

20:47

that moment of seeing their idol and

20:49

you just see like they don't even

20:52

know what to do with it like

20:54

just see a shock to see a

20:56

computing because it's still not there's still

20:58

not sure but one of them right

21:01

when she hits the first note she's

21:03

like you know yeah and I just

21:05

think that the you know that I

21:08

guess it's just a I don't know

21:10

if it's empathetic or I just the

21:12

feeling of that it makes me yeah

21:15

it tears me up because they love

21:17

something so much and it's a happy

21:19

moment it's beautiful yeah it's happy but

21:22

completely surprising right never in their wildest

21:24

fucking right would they ever think they'd

21:26

even meet her and they spend their

21:28

lives being her you know out of

21:31

out of homage out of love and

21:33

just to see them have that moment's

21:35

pretty human yeah it is I know

21:38

I'm not gonna watch it it sounds

21:40

too moving what you don't cry No,

21:42

I cry. Sometimes I put on music

21:45

to make myself cry, because I'm having

21:47

emotions and I can't get there. I

21:49

didn't cry for years as a kid.

21:52

This is horrible, but I really didn't,

21:54

because my father did not have an

21:56

easy time when I cried. Yeah, I

21:58

think I'm trying to remember. I seem

22:01

to cry. Well that's interesting about the

22:03

music triggering the tears because I'm doing

22:05

a whole my closing bits sort of

22:08

about that. Yeah. About that, like I

22:10

didn't, not on purpose, but there are

22:12

some things I'll listen to on purpose

22:15

and they'll tear me up. But like,

22:17

but never, it never seems to be

22:19

the appropriate moment to cry. It's always

22:22

like a movie or a commercial or

22:24

an animal video, but when I'm in

22:26

a relationship. No, I just like, they're,

22:29

they're, they're, they're, I don't know, you

22:31

know, I, I'm just, I'm not to,

22:33

wired, right? So what, with what? I

22:35

mean, I'm never great. I watch the

22:38

special. You did? I did, yes. Very

22:40

funny. Very funny. Very funny. You know,

22:42

I am happy with it. I, I,

22:45

I feel like you're the kind of.

22:47

comic, tell me from wrong, do you

22:49

watch your sets or listen to them?

22:52

You do, right? No, I don't, I

22:54

can't. I record everything. I've got 900

22:56

sets on you and I'm building an

22:59

hour and like there are definitely moments

23:01

where I'm like, I should listen to

23:03

that, I don't. Me either. Do you

23:05

know that you can read it? You

23:08

can read it? Yes. Someone showed me

23:10

the other day, I'll show you. From

23:12

your recordings on your phone? Yes, yes,

23:15

you don't have to listen to you.

23:17

I don't have to listen to my

23:19

horrible voice. I don't really mind that.

23:22

It's just to me. It's sort of

23:24

like, I gotta find the thing. I

23:26

know, it's a pain. Yeah, but you

23:29

can read the whole thing. It can

23:31

transcript it. Right on your phone? I'm

23:33

the phone, you can read it? I

23:35

don't, tell me what breast, where's the

23:38

button? Where's the button? Where's the button?

23:40

One time I took my mother's boyfriend

23:42

before he like got lost somehow. What

23:45

do you mean? He just walked away?

23:47

No, his daughter took him away. He

23:49

was losing it. Oh, oh, okay. But

23:52

he gave me his phone once to

23:54

do something. There was like 900 open

23:56

apps. I know, they never close. My

23:59

mother has 460,000 emails on her, but

24:01

you know, I have OCD with that,

24:03

so I can't even be, I can't

24:05

be near her phone. I erase text

24:08

so that I don't have too many

24:10

on my thing. I don't do the

24:12

text, but I don't like the emails,

24:15

I don't like the number. The number

24:17

causes me anxiety too, that's so

24:19

funny. So then I do the select

24:21

all, Mark is red. And one time,

24:23

this is just like a couple weeks

24:26

ago. I opened up my phone and

24:28

I'm like, what the fuck, all my

24:30

emails are gone. I'm like, what

24:32

the fuck happened? And I'm looking

24:35

at Google and I'm looking at

24:37

everything else. But when you do

24:39

the Select All, and then it

24:42

says Mark, the other option right

24:44

above Mark is red, has moved

24:46

to junk. I moved everything, and

24:49

it was a panic. I was

24:51

about to call, who do you

24:53

even call? How do I call Google?

24:55

Yeah, my mom when she sends

24:57

me emogies, but she can't

24:59

see anything. So she just taps

25:02

on random things. Like she'll send

25:04

me like a squirrel, a rainbow,

25:06

and like a gun. I'm like,

25:09

what's happening? If I show you

25:11

the picture for my mother's, you

25:13

will die. From her what? You

25:15

know when sometimes, I don't know

25:17

how it happened or what mistake?

25:19

What's... But

25:22

you know, you can have a

25:24

picture for your profile? Yeah. Like

25:26

when they call you, it comes

25:28

up? Yeah. Is it her? Her?

25:30

No, it's just like a picture

25:33

of her shoe. Right? And then

25:35

on the picture, it just says

25:37

pizza. Wait a second, are you

25:39

kidding? You have no idea how it got there?

25:41

No, no, she must have been fucking around with

25:43

it. It's not her picture on her name.

25:45

It's me, you know, when they call you,

25:47

something happens? You understand how funny that is?

25:49

It's a shoe? It's just a shoe. What kind of shoe?

25:51

A slipper? Yeah, something. Well, she was just holding

25:53

it. And then it says pizza on it. And

25:56

I don't know what the fuck that is. That

25:58

is so funny. That is so funny. I got

26:00

to take a picture of

26:02

it when she calls, but

26:04

she barely uses her phone.

26:07

Do you have her face

26:09

time with her? Because my

26:11

mom, I just see her

26:14

far head. Literally. I'm like,

26:16

could you move the phone

26:18

down? She's saying, hi, can

26:20

you see me? I'm like,

26:22

no, I see your hair

26:24

line. It's crazy. what yeah

26:26

no i'm going through that also i

26:29

understand but it's not like she's not

26:31

she's my dad's losing his mind she's

26:33

not losing her mind i just don't

26:35

think she ever had anything to really

26:37

say about what about anything yeah not much

26:39

you know because like now like my brother

26:42

i call my brother he's like i'm in

26:44

lunch with mom right now you know she's

26:46

in Florida and they put it of course

26:48

he put her in a place down there

26:50

and she and i go he goes do

26:52

you want to talk to talk to her

26:55

i go yeah And she goes, hi Mark,

26:57

and I'm like, hi. And she goes, what

26:59

are you doing? I'm like, well, you know,

27:01

I'm home, I'm working. And I go, how's

27:03

everything with you? And she goes, you know,

27:05

everything's, I'm OK, I'm good. And I go,

27:08

that's good. And she goes, I guess that's

27:10

it. Do

27:15

you know who that reminds me

27:17

of? My grandmother. She goes,

27:19

so how you doing? I'm like,

27:21

I'm good. She's like, okay, good.

27:24

Like, there's no, she, yeah, she

27:26

never listened. I used to do

27:28

a bit that she answered her

27:30

own question. You're gonna relate,

27:32

like, how you doing, good?

27:34

Yeah, she just worked good.

27:37

Like, I wasn't even in

27:39

the conversation. It's some sort

27:41

of, I don't know. My mom just

27:43

tells me like health stuff. I mean,

27:45

I know this is like a running

27:47

joke with people, but it just happened

27:49

yesterday. I'm like, what's new with you?

27:51

She's like, well, I have something on

27:53

my back, but Herb's daughter, her boyfriend's

27:55

daughter is a skin doctor and she

27:57

said, you know, they should take a

27:59

sample. And Herb's okay, his heart is doing

28:01

well, we're going to Italy, I just hope

28:04

we are okay there. I just, it's like

28:06

all negative. My, I don't know, my mom's

28:08

not negative. I just, sometimes I think

28:10

that my entire life, you know when

28:12

you realize that, but you probably

28:14

don't, maybe you're different, I don't

28:16

know how actually sophisticated they really

28:18

were, or whether they were ever

28:21

really big thinkers. You know, my

28:23

dad was a doctor, my mom

28:25

painted and stuff, she knew things,

28:27

but conversation, but conversationally. My dad just

28:29

likes to start shit, you know. My dad

28:31

was, wow, he was... I do a joke

28:34

now on the stage because my dad's got

28:36

dementia, but his wife's kind of like a

28:38

Christian Trumpy person. Really? A little bit, yeah.

28:40

And when she goes out of the house,

28:43

she just sits him in front of, you

28:45

know, Fox News, right? And he's never really

28:47

been that political, but he does like to,

28:49

you know, start shit, but it doesn't go

28:52

in right anymore anymore like I call him

28:54

up. And I go, you know, what's going

28:56

on dad? He goes, what do you think

28:59

about these blacks coming into

29:01

the country? And I said,

29:03

I said, I think you're

29:05

conflating two separate

29:08

racist ideas. The average

29:10

brought COVID-19 into the, yeah.

29:12

It's just, but it went for, I

29:14

don't know what that... Well, my dad

29:17

would only watch Fox News and

29:19

Trump when he was dying, so

29:21

I'm watching him die, he's like,

29:23

I'm gonna watch him, I'm gonna

29:25

watch him, I'm gonna watch Trump,

29:27

if you don't wanna fucking be

29:29

with me, you don't have to be

29:31

in the room, but I'm not, I'm

29:33

not turning it off. Yeah, he was

29:35

always a Democrat. And then, like a

29:38

lot of people, a lot of Jewish

29:40

people, he turned. Yeah. Well, yeah, because

29:42

they'd all sort of gotten away, or

29:44

maybe we're never really on board with

29:47

this sort of progressive Jewish thing, you

29:49

know, like the Jews in the 60s,

29:51

but yeah, you're right, my dad. And

29:54

then they realize it's like, they're taking

29:56

how much? And then it's sort of

29:58

like, what are they? doing to Israel?

30:01

And that was it. It's both.

30:03

Yeah, you're right. That's it. My

30:05

money and Israel. It's exactly

30:07

what it was with him. Yeah. That's

30:09

what it is. And now look what

30:11

happens. Now look where we are. Oh,

30:13

we're in a great place. It's going

30:16

to be awesome. Yeah. I'm just, I'm

30:18

so glad it's just starting. You

30:20

know? Well, we're not three or four

30:22

years in. Like, it's just all

30:24

starting. Oh yeah. We got everything

30:26

to look forward. It's

30:29

like I don't have enough to worry

30:31

about on my own. Are you kidding? My

30:33

head is a war zone. It's I can't

30:35

by the way I can't I don't I

30:38

don't think about it a lot anymore and

30:40

I can't watch the new I can't

30:42

like I'm one of those people yesterday.

30:44

Yeah since this morning I can't give

30:46

it up. I've turned my phone off

30:48

I just turned my phone off it's I'm

30:50

over it. Yeah when two hours ago yeah

30:52

right when we started talking. Wait,

30:54

is this the first, this your

30:57

first special? No. My first special

30:59

was on Comedy Central and now

31:01

this one's on Hulu. So it

31:03

was a while ago? It was, and

31:05

you're gonna, this is amazing, it

31:08

was on once. I mean, can

31:10

you fucking believe that? All the money,

31:12

all the time, they put it on

31:14

one time. I missed it. I'm shocked

31:16

that you weren't on Comedy

31:18

Central that one hour. That's

31:20

the fucking worse that one was called

31:23

talking to myself. Yeah, which because I

31:25

turn around and have those conversations with

31:27

myself on stage I don't even know

31:29

if you've seen me do that I saw it

31:31

on the special right you brought attention to it.

31:33

Yeah, how creative it was I love saying that

31:35

because some people are like what the fuck just

31:37

happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was

31:39

on once and then they put it to the

31:41

paper like you had to pay for it. No

31:43

one so one person watched it and then. So

31:45

one person watched it watched it watched it. And

31:48

then watched it so one person watched it.

31:50

You spend all your time trying to get

31:52

over your own personal fear of rejection, then

31:54

you finally get that, and then you get

31:56

opportunities that don't go anywhere, and then you

31:58

get rejected, and then literally... And you

32:00

do a thing, and you're

32:03

like, finally, and they're like,

32:05

where do I find it?

32:07

And you're like, I don't

32:09

know. We lost it. Yeah,

32:11

it's on Animal Planet. Yeah,

32:13

we deal with a lot

32:15

of, you know, that's part

32:17

of why stand-up worked for

32:19

me in the beginning, because

32:22

my parents, my mother specifically,

32:24

was so embarrassing to me.

32:26

So is mine. That I

32:28

feel like one of the

32:30

reasons I got into comedy

32:32

was to transcend embarrassment. Mm.

32:34

To have control of power.

32:36

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah,

32:38

but the journey there is

32:41

so embarrassing. It is horrible.

32:43

It's the most embarrassing thing.

32:45

Like to be up there

32:47

and just not doing well.

32:49

It's abusive. To yourself. That's

32:51

what I'm saying. It's self-inflicting

32:53

abuse. That's why I can't

32:55

usually go to the comedy

32:58

seller. I, yeah. Because for

33:00

me, trying to get into

33:02

that place. You know, when

33:04

I was younger and doing

33:06

the kind of comedy I

33:08

did, it was always hard.

33:10

Yeah. And they were always

33:12

judgmental, you know, Esti and

33:14

Manny. And I used to

33:17

tell the other comics to

33:19

leave the room so I

33:21

could get some work done.

33:23

Yeah, I get it. It's

33:25

the worst thing when comics

33:27

are just staring at you.

33:29

When you go on stage

33:31

at the comedy seller and

33:33

a tell sitting there, I'm

33:36

like, can you just go?

33:38

I mean, let me just

33:40

try to figure it. You

33:42

go upstairs to the table and you're

33:45

like, I'm going to be abused here.

33:47

Well, I don't mind that. It's just

33:49

not doing well on that fucking stage.

33:51

Yeah, I was auditioning for Conan once

33:53

at Stand Up New York many years

33:55

ago. And there were comics in the

33:57

corner talking and laughing at me. they

33:59

really was being horrific and in middle

34:01

of my audition I said something yeah

34:04

I'm like you guys are disgusting yeah

34:06

like your other comics I'm up here

34:08

like I addressed it I just have

34:10

to do that sometimes I can't it's

34:12

like I can't there's nothing we can

34:14

do that's a fucking problem It's a

34:16

sensitivity, we're sensitive. And we all are,

34:18

right? But the good, I don't want

34:20

to say good, but some people have

34:22

more success at killing these sensitivity that

34:25

they have. Yeah. Because like even now,

34:27

like, you know, just adapting to like

34:29

internet comments or trolling and all that

34:31

stuff, it's like you've got to have

34:33

a callus to it, but it all

34:35

goes in. It all goes in. You're

34:37

like, I don't really care, but that

34:39

takes two hours. I have a great

34:41

story about that. I sang in a

34:44

car, used to sing in the car

34:46

and do like silly singing. I didn't

34:48

even tell a joke. Yeah. And it

34:50

was on Facebook, it went viral. It

34:52

was one of my first videos going

34:54

viral years ago. Yeah. And someone wrote,

34:56

I hope she hits a tree and

34:58

dies on impact. And it was liked

35:00

by like 65,000 people. Like they all

35:03

were happy. Yeah. It's just, it's like,

35:05

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's

35:07

like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

35:09

it's like, it's like, it's like, like,

35:11

like, like, it's like, like, like, like,

35:13

You know, it's the same thing everyone

35:15

says. You could have 5,000 amazing comments

35:17

in that one, you know, negative one.

35:19

What is that though? Because it's like,

35:22

it's a physical feeling. It's very hard.

35:24

But you feel that that hurt in

35:26

your whole body. It just like hits

35:28

you. So there must be some twisted

35:30

fucking thing that that that is a

35:32

tangible feeling. And it's something that, you

35:34

know, we're obviously used to. Yeah, for

35:36

me it's historic. Like it's from my

35:38

past. I can feel it. I know

35:41

it. It's from, you know, having a...

35:43

It's a full body. I know. Like

35:45

you just want to fall into a

35:47

hole. I know. It's horrible. Horrible. I

35:49

get it every day. Every day. When

35:51

you wake up. No, I get it

35:53

when I... Yeah, my whole day, I

35:55

feel like that. No, from videos. I

35:57

get, you know, because my videos are

35:59

all over. So, oh, you mean you

36:02

look at the comments? Yeah. Now, I

36:04

mean, I don't, like, I'll just, it'll

36:06

come up. Like, sometimes I just go

36:08

on it and it'll say the comment.

36:10

Yeah. If I look at something. So

36:12

the first special was how many years

36:14

ago? Was that like the first time

36:16

you're on here, like six years ago

36:18

or something? May have been, yeah. I

36:21

know. And this one, it. But no

36:23

one can watch that one or it's

36:25

on YouTube. No, you have to pay

36:27

for it on comedy. It's a fucking

36:29

nightmare. They showed it once. You know

36:31

I get it back? I just realized,

36:33

I saw, I get it back this

36:35

year. Oh good. There was like a

36:37

six year deal that we get it

36:40

back. I'm really excited about it. How's

36:42

this stuff? Is it all different stuff?

36:44

Yeah. Yeah. Well this one I thought

36:46

was really funny and that audience was

36:48

so fucking good. They were amazed. I

36:50

mean it's a lot of gay men.

36:52

They're the best. That's a huge... What

36:54

do you think? I was trying to

36:56

figure that out about... like because I

36:59

noticed it with... Lampanelli

37:01

used to have a lot of things.

37:03

Huge. You know, I think first of

37:05

all, they've made a lot of female

37:07

comics if you think about it. No,

37:10

I know, but it's a different, a

37:12

specific type though. You got to be

37:14

dirty and angry and aggressive. You have

37:16

to be, yes, and you have to

37:19

be powerful because they don't get threatened

37:21

by a powerful woman. They love it.

37:23

Yeah. And. they feel understood by me

37:25

and accepted and I understand their culture

37:28

because I spend so much time around

37:30

gay men doing gay cruises like everything.

37:32

So you know they feel like I

37:34

have their back. I've thought about that

37:37

before and I've talked about it before

37:39

I don't know I don't think I

37:41

talked about it with you that it

37:43

seemed to me that there was a

37:46

time in gay culture where It was

37:48

you know kind of singular and like

37:50

it was mostly gay men. Yeah, but

37:52

because the women were gay as well

37:55

they kind of had a Yeah, yeah,

37:57

that's true. Like you know, you've got

37:59

these like tough Butch lesbians, I guess

38:01

we gotta go hang out with those

38:04

guys. What is she wearing? Those guys.

38:06

I'll become friends with her because I

38:08

need things fixed in my house. Yeah,

38:10

it is a weird combination. Right? It

38:13

is. It's real. Yeah, it's real. I,

38:15

you know, Les, older lesbians have a

38:17

thing about some gay men now that

38:20

they were there for them during AIDS.

38:22

Yeah. They really showed up and they

38:24

feel, I think some of them feel

38:26

like, you know, gay men don't support

38:29

them. Oh, really? That's the older generation

38:31

that I've heard that a lot. Yeah,

38:33

I once saw a sketch. It must

38:35

have been at the Aspen Comedy Comedy

38:38

Festival that I thought was one of

38:40

the best sketches. about gay culture that

38:42

I've ever seen, because it was really,

38:44

it was about these, this gay couple

38:47

who were the older generation. And they

38:49

were just all sitting, you know, sitting

38:51

around with their leather hat, hi. Right,

38:53

yeah. You get the chaps on and

38:56

stuff. And they're having a younger couple

38:58

over and these guys were dressed in

39:00

dockers. Right. The comparison of that first

39:02

generation of like stonewall gay dudes. That's

39:05

really funny. And then the younger generation,

39:07

you're just trying to pass in life.

39:09

Right. Right. It was hilarious. I wonder

39:11

what happened to that guy. John Riji,

39:14

he was kind of a genius. He's

39:16

a writer. He's written in a comic,

39:18

kind of, but he's so funny. Yeah,

39:20

I love that kind of stuff. Because

39:23

when I travel all over the country,

39:25

like the gay men are different, of

39:27

course, in certain places. It's hysterical. Like

39:29

you'll go to Oklahoma and some of

39:32

them are in cowboy hats, and I'm

39:34

like, you're really trying to pass for

39:36

strake, because it's dangerous. Well, I think

39:38

it's more obviously more acceptable for them

39:41

to like walk around Oklahoma not be

39:43

so and I wonder I think I

39:45

it seems to me that even in

39:47

this sort of authoritarian shit show that

39:50

that the gay men It doesn't seem

39:52

to be as targeted. You know, it's

39:54

all about trans people all about trans

39:56

and it's It seems like gay people

39:59

just, there is an integration there. It's

40:01

not as stigmatized as it used to

40:03

be. Is that true, do you think?

40:06

I do. I think that when it

40:08

comes to kids though and stuff, it

40:10

could be, you know, that's an issue.

40:12

But I also think because, you know,

40:15

Trump is so like wants to be

40:17

liked, a lot of gay men. Not,

40:19

I mean, yeah, there's a big handful

40:21

who supported him and voted for him.

40:24

Well, that's a bunch of Republican gay

40:26

guys. That's what I'm saying. So I

40:28

think he's like, well, we can lay

40:30

off them for a while. Yeah, they

40:33

got money. She'll have them have money.

40:35

Right, and they like me. Probably the

40:37

money more. Right, you're right. I'm starting

40:39

to be concerned that he's not caring

40:42

as much as he used to about

40:44

people like. their left side is as

40:46

gay. Is that wrong? Did I just

40:48

say something wrong? No, I always say

40:51

that kind of thing. I think so

40:53

many, yeah. I do a whole joke

40:55

about the young sort of Nazis being

40:57

kind of like, and gay guys don't

41:00

like when you make that association that

41:02

the reason they're like that is because

41:04

they're latent or, you know, closeted. It's

41:06

like, we don't want them, you know,

41:09

but you're right. A lot of them

41:11

are adorable. I saw pictures, but like,

41:13

you know, from like one of those

41:15

ones to Charlotte, the one that I

41:18

did too, I know. And I was

41:20

like, oh my God, there is so

41:22

much gay face. Are they dressing up?

41:24

Is this, is this Camo Drag? I

41:27

mean, what's what's happening? Is this a

41:29

march for Equinox? Yeah. Yeah, and now

41:31

like they were yeah, it was crazy

41:33

and all some of these guys are

41:36

getting jawbone implants And I'm like what

41:38

just come out. I know well they

41:40

may they probably aren't they they're enraged

41:42

or ska whatever it's all so what's

41:45

happening? I don't know this is a

41:47

very specific place to poke, but yeah,

41:49

nothing good is happening Yeah, so but

41:52

I don't know that the last time

41:54

you were here you must have had

41:56

the kids, but we don't remember talking

41:58

about it I think that I know

42:01

I had an old so I have

42:03

one daughter with my ex-cherry and then

42:05

I have three with my ex now

42:07

Danielle yeah but I was still married

42:10

when I was in the last time

42:12

and I think I had one with

42:14

Danielle wow so but you had them

42:16

all from from fresh what does that

42:19

mean fresh they were all babies because

42:21

it seemed like what happened I'm very

42:23

open about it so with the first,

42:25

my first daughter, we used a donor

42:28

and Shari got pregnant. And then with

42:30

the next three, what Danielle used a

42:32

different donor, of course, and those, and

42:34

she got pregnant with three children. Oh,

42:37

at the same time. No, she had

42:39

Isabella and then, um, three years later,

42:41

yeah, three years later, we had twins,

42:43

which was not as a vitro, but

42:46

it was crazy. That's why you didn't

42:48

even have them then. I didn't have

42:50

them. You just had the one, but

42:52

you just had the, oh, oh, yeah.

42:55

When I talked to you last, how

42:57

old's that kid, the oldest? She's at

42:59

University of Delaware, she's a freshman, she's

43:01

18. Oh my God, so if you

43:04

talk about that in a special, just

43:06

sort of, kind of having to deal

43:08

with somebody that age. Yeah, it's a

43:10

lot. I mean, she's the best kid

43:13

in the world. She's so good. But

43:15

like, she talks like this, like, oh

43:17

my God, when are you coming to

43:19

visit? Yeah, yeah, it's a lot. It's,

43:22

it's really like, like, not. like present

43:24

like it's not centered like they're all

43:26

on their phones right so that everyone's

43:28

talking like an influencer it's you know

43:31

right and but I I've talked to

43:33

people like I did a movie with

43:35

some woman who is you know in

43:38

their 20s and they're using phrases in

43:40

terms I don't even know what they're

43:42

saying I have no idea what she

43:44

says at the time Except for cringe.

43:47

She calls me cringe sometimes. I'm like,

43:49

you know, you're cringe. Yeah. Well, it's

43:51

not a bad thing. Yeah, no, it's

43:53

not. I feel like sometimes I want

43:56

to lean into the cringe. I do

43:58

it sometimes when people don't want me

44:00

to. I don't like being told I'm

44:02

comic, so I don't like feeling suppressed

44:05

or having people tell me what I

44:07

can and can't say or do or

44:09

anything. But I think there's like with

44:11

this phone inter like I'm starting to

44:14

realize just from having done radio in

44:16

my life. that the frequency that people

44:18

operate in terms of engaging with people

44:20

who are talking to them from their

44:23

phone it's almost like a mania it

44:25

is mania yeah and it's like addictive

44:27

it very it really is it you

44:29

catch it and you talk you don't

44:32

think it you just like you just

44:34

plow through you know you don't yeah

44:36

kind of like you're not thoughtful right

44:38

unless that's your particular brand yeah it's

44:41

not present that's what I mean it's

44:43

like I don't know what it is

44:45

but it's not a connected Right, that's

44:47

what I mean. I mean, I mean

44:50

more, it's not connected at all. Yeah,

44:52

yeah. But what she's studying, does she

44:54

know what she wants? Well, she's an

44:56

actress and a singer, she's been doing

44:59

it since she's four. I know, it's

45:01

crazy and she's incredible, like a Broadway

45:03

singer. She was in a movie with

45:05

DeNiro and Bobby Carnaval, what I forgot

45:08

I'll say, his name, nice as Holly?

45:10

Yeah, he played the daughter. that they

45:12

went to stay with. Yeah, I saw

45:14

that movie. Yeah, yeah, she's stunning. She

45:17

really is. And she wasn't, like, you

45:19

know, played. And you know, DeNiro, right?

45:21

Yes, very well. Yeah. I worked with

45:24

him side by side for months. He

45:26

saw me at the cellar, it's crazy.

45:28

Yeah, for, what would you work with

45:30

him on? the movie the comedian right

45:33

that's right yeah yeah right but you

45:35

guys are still friends we haven't talked

45:37

a while but we got very very

45:39

close yeah i mean if i reached

45:42

out to him he would he would

45:44

talk to me right away did you

45:46

see him when your daughter was on

45:48

the movie um no because i was

45:51

on the road every five i mean

45:53

it was crazy i thought he was

45:55

great in that movie i love seeing

45:57

him in small parts when you show

46:00

Like I'd prefer it these days. Do

46:02

you know that I, when I met

46:04

him, literally Trump started running for president

46:06

the first time and his trailer with

46:09

him? That bunker? that traveling bunker. Yeah,

46:11

it's unbelievable. I know I did, I

46:13

did, I did one scene with him

46:15

in the Joker and I'm sure he

46:18

has no recollection of me because I

46:20

was just a, you know, like a

46:22

probably a day player to him. But

46:24

we had a thing and it was

46:27

the day that they had found bombs.

46:29

Remember there was a bomb threat and

46:31

there was one at his office. Yes,

46:33

yes. Oh my God. At Hillary Clinton's

46:36

house or something. Yeah. It was a

46:38

threat. It wasn't real. It wasn't real.

46:40

It's crazy. Yeah, he would be in

46:42

his trailer and I would come in

46:45

and be getting his makeup done so

46:47

he would just have, he wouldn't have

46:49

a shirt on. He's tattoos everywhere. Like

46:51

it's crazy. I never expected him. Really?

46:54

Yeah, he's tattoos and he has an

46:56

amazing body. Like for someone who's, my

46:58

mom's, I mean, it's crazy. Well, it

47:00

goes up and down with it. Like

47:03

it was starting then. live in New

47:05

York and have to have to put

47:07

up with that guy forever. Right, right.

47:10

They've been history with him. Sure, they've

47:12

hated him since he was just an

47:14

annoying putt. I've heard so many stories

47:16

from people that have been in business

47:19

with him. Really? Yeah. Like he didn't

47:21

pay, he did this, they're suing it,

47:23

yeah. I can't, you can't even wrap

47:25

your brain around it. So how old

47:28

are the other kids? So I have

47:30

a nine and a half year old

47:32

and I have twin almost six year

47:34

olds. It's crazy, it's a lot. I'm

47:37

in love with them. You live with

47:39

them? Now I got divorced, so I

47:41

have... The second time? Yeah, but the

47:43

first, the first relationship wasn't legal, because

47:46

it wasn't legal at the time, legal

47:48

marriage, so I've technically been married once.

47:50

Yeah. And I live in an apartment

47:52

10 minutes from them and they live

47:55

in the house that I lived in.

47:57

Where? on Long Island. Okay. Yeah. So

47:59

you have an apartment in Long Island?

48:01

Mm-hmm. Like it within one of the

48:04

Jewish towns? No. I mean there's there's

48:06

Jews, and we're all hiding, but I'm

48:08

joking. No, it's not in one of

48:10

the Jewish, because there's some people might

48:13

not know, but there's some towns that

48:15

are really Jewish. But now they're like,

48:17

they're not like what I grew up

48:19

with, they're not like, you know, my

48:22

mom Jews. I'm fascinated with the Persian

48:24

Jews. I don't know anything about them.

48:26

I know nothing. But it's like, it

48:28

was almost like, were they always here?

48:31

They were, I think so. No, they

48:33

just came. Yeah, aren't there a lot

48:35

in LA? Yeah, Beverly Hills I hear.

48:37

And you go to some store, like

48:40

a coffee shop over there, and you're

48:42

like, what the fuck is happening? I

48:44

don't know what it is either. It's

48:46

like, you know, it's very high level

48:49

fashion money, but like it's a thing.

48:51

Yeah. When I was a kid, it

48:53

was just, you know, japs. You know,

48:55

just you were just, you were just

48:58

a great, you know, great next, you

49:00

know, like, or whatever. Yeah. And just

49:02

like, hi, how are you? Like, and

49:05

now it's like this. Why do you

49:07

get in for camp? Where'd

49:10

you get that trunk? I need

49:12

to get Alex a trunk and

49:14

I didn't know where to go.

49:16

What's the theme of your barmitzvah?

49:18

Yeah, I'm gonna hire a band

49:21

for $400,000. I'll give you the

49:23

reference. That is what I grew

49:25

up with. Not $400,000. No, of

49:27

course not. Yeah, but I did

49:29

grow up with that too. I

49:31

grew up, I was barmitz, but

49:33

before themes. Me too. Before

49:38

themes, yeah, there's so many themes. Oh

49:40

my God. It's unbelievable. I've been to

49:43

some, oh my God, it's like, are

49:45

you kidding me? Yeah. The money they

49:47

put into these. Star Wars or like?

49:49

Yeah, oh my God, everything. Or the,

49:52

or wicked, who knows? Actually, they fly

49:54

in on a broom, the stars. Yeah.

49:56

It's okay, you can do it. I

49:59

just want my gifts. Oh God, I'm

50:01

trying to remember. Remember going to them

50:03

in like the musical chairs, like the

50:05

boys and the girls, like it was

50:08

such a thing. It was... All I

50:10

remember is like my bar mitzvah, it

50:12

was like, I had a... For the

50:14

we did Friday night and Saturday morning.

50:17

So do we yeah, that was like

50:19

and now people do like a like

50:21

a half hour With another kid. Yeah,

50:23

right. I know or two other one.

50:26

Yeah, there's three of them up there.

50:28

It's like what the fuck? There's 14

50:30

kids with this racket. How does this

50:32

happen? They don't have time I know

50:35

same thing and I did Friday night

50:37

Saturday morning. Yeah, and we did like

50:39

a kids party a adult party. That's

50:41

right you did the party at the

50:44

synagogue. on the parties. No, it was

50:46

fine. I had parties, but it was

50:48

like the adult party was like after

50:50

the bar mitzvah, there were bagels. Right,

50:53

that's right. At the synagogue. Yeah, the

50:55

whole, every synagogue smells like sturgeon. Yeah,

50:57

oh, and then there's the one Holocaust

50:59

survivor who's putting things in her purse.

51:02

You just had the one it was

51:04

so heavy. My grandmother would take roles

51:06

from every single. She had a lot

51:09

of money. And even if I remember

51:11

one time it had a bite out

51:13

of it. There was a roll that

51:15

had a bite out of it. And

51:18

I'm like, yeah, she took it and

51:20

it lipstick around it. She's like, I'll

51:22

cut around it. Do you remember the

51:24

both grandmothers of course lived in South

51:27

far? and then they could take the

51:29

bread. It was like the big, the

51:31

whole basket. Yeah. The basket of Danish

51:33

and Rolls, and they're like, you can

51:36

just take them. If somewhere has good

51:38

bread, every Jew will go. Like, it's

51:40

really a reason. You know, it's amazing

51:42

about the Jewish, I don't know what's

51:45

down there anymore, I don't know if

51:47

they've run them all out, but that

51:49

whole culture of Jews in the restaurants

51:51

is that I realize that, like my

51:54

buddy, my buddy, my, my, my, my

51:56

mom's boyfriend, all the Jewish man wants.

51:58

when he gets to a certain age

52:00

is to be able to walk into

52:03

a restaurant and the guy at the

52:05

restaurant goes, there he is. That's what

52:07

their whole life is. That is so

52:09

funny. John, how are you John? We

52:12

got the table you like? That's it.

52:14

That's the big payoff. Yeah. So how

52:16

are you my friend today? Yeah. That

52:19

is so funny. And they get there

52:21

at three o'clock for dinner because it's

52:23

cheaper. Oh, they're horrible. They're horrible. Yeah,

52:25

it's like, and they always get fish.

52:28

My grandparents always got like filletsal, almond

52:30

dine, and they shared it. They had

52:32

a whole thing going on. Tupperware, the

52:34

whole thing. It's just a social thing

52:37

that like, you know, and they all

52:39

think they're like, this is the best

52:41

one. Yeah, they love me there. My

52:43

grandmother to wake me up at five

52:46

in the morning and ask me what

52:48

I want for dinner when I want

52:50

for dinner when I went to go

52:52

for dinner. I'm like, what? She's like,

52:55

do you want Italian or a Dinah?

52:57

I'm like, I don't even know where

52:59

I am right now. Just like, and

53:01

then breakfast she would just give me

53:04

like half a grapefruit because I always

53:06

had a little weight to lose so

53:08

she would feed me. Like, do you

53:10

really think I'm not going to get

53:13

food somewhere else? Yeah, I could go

53:15

eat anywhere. It's just so fun because

53:17

like it digress what John my he

53:19

like was a regular I think the

53:22

I hop I love that he was

53:24

a regular it sounds like he's a

53:26

calm like he's but that's what he

53:29

did he's like he goes over there

53:31

they give me the thing it's You

53:33

mean the thing everyone else gets? No,

53:35

I get a little different. It always

53:38

has to be a little different. You

53:40

can't just get the breakfast. It's like,

53:42

but you know what I like with

53:44

the potatoes. And then there were... No,

53:47

they know me very well. They give

53:49

me the hash browns, but you know,

53:51

well done. Well done. Everything has to

53:53

be well done, by the way. Every

53:56

omelet, every Jew eats a well done.

53:58

Give me the locks, eggs, and onions,

54:00

but the onions, but the... Best. We

54:02

grew up on the same thing. I

54:05

remember the first time I had that

54:07

I was like, this is the best

54:09

thing in the world. Yeah, and well

54:11

done onion. Yeah, we love well done.

54:14

I remember one time I was so

54:16

to the point where I'm traumatized by

54:18

it. I worked at a Jewish deli

54:20

in Boston. It was like in Boston

54:23

Jews are different. Like there is a.

54:25

You know, and I grew up with

54:27

Jersey Jews, but you know, I was

54:29

in New Mexico, it doesn't matter, but

54:32

I was an old Jewish man when

54:34

I was 10. So, but I get

54:36

a job. I think I, it was

54:39

in the 80s, summer, when I was

54:41

in college at this place, Gordon's deli,

54:43

and it was a real Jewish deli

54:45

in Boston. But Boston Jews, it's a

54:48

different thing. They have like five, four

54:50

different kinds of ride bread. Oh, four

54:52

different kinds of ride bread. which was

54:54

seated. They had light rye. Yeah, they

54:57

had light rye, no seeds. They had

54:59

pumpernickel. Right. Pumpernickel. And then they had

55:01

dark rye, which was just a little

55:03

darker than the light rye. So there

55:06

was four. It was kind of crazy,

55:08

but it was real. It was the

55:10

real deal. Sounds so good. I mean,

55:12

you know, they still had kishka. Who

55:15

the fuck eats Kisho? It is so

55:17

disgusting. It's kind of, I remember the

55:19

first time I tried it, I'm like,

55:21

what is it even? I know, it's,

55:24

I can't even. It's like stuffing in

55:26

a, in a, in a, intestine. Oh

55:28

God, I know, I've, I've tried all

55:30

of that. So, of course, yeah, I

55:33

ate all of it, but, but, but,

55:35

so one time I'm, guy orders of

55:37

ox eggs and onions and onions and

55:39

onions, and I'm making, and I'm making,

55:42

that we had the cooked onions, right?

55:44

And these onions were black. They were

55:46

perfect. And there was just what I

55:49

assume was enough left for a good

55:51

Leo, good Roxane. So I just, I

55:53

just mix it all in there with

55:55

the oil from the onions. I thought,

55:58

this is beautiful. Right. And I make

56:00

that thing, and they serve it, and

56:02

the guy brings it back, too many

56:04

onions. I'm like, what the fuck? Well,

56:07

how could you even tell me that?

56:09

Because a lot of them just have

56:11

to complain. I know, I know, but

56:13

it was like, I had, I would,

56:16

oh my God, I remember one time,

56:18

like, I served something at the counter

56:20

and there was a guy, the cook,

56:22

who used to make the briskets and

56:25

the cornbeats and the puddings and the

56:27

puddings and the puddings and the puddings

56:29

and the puddings and the puddings and

56:31

the puddings and the puddings and the

56:34

puddings and the puddings and the puddings

56:36

and the puddings and the puddings and

56:38

the puddings and the puttings and the

56:40

puttings and the puttings and the puttings

56:43

and the. So, so good, so good,

56:45

so good, so good, so good, so

56:47

good, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,

56:49

I'm, I'm, I'm, I've never, I've never,

56:52

I've never, I've never, I've never, I've

56:54

never, I've never, I I've got a

56:56

whole plate, I've got a whole platter

56:59

back here. You're eating off of their

57:01

plates? The fuck is wrong with you.

57:03

I can't believe. Sunny, that was his,

57:05

that guy. Of course his name was

57:08

Sunny. We had a Sunny's bagels in

57:10

my town, growing up. Yeah, and then

57:12

there was the fucking owner, his name

57:14

was Shelley. Shelley is such a Jew.

57:21

People would not know that but Shelley

57:23

is such an old Jewish man or

57:25

Shep he was a shep He was

57:28

he's the he was this old guy

57:30

Shelley wasn't even that old but he

57:32

was obese and he owned it with

57:34

his wife We we hated and it

57:37

was just a fucking nightmare This sounds

57:39

like a sitcom then there was a

57:41

Chinese place next door. Yeah, so Shelley

57:43

would sit in his fucking deli in

57:46

the corner booth with a with a

57:48

with a plateful boneless spare ribs from

57:50

the Chinese place and just Like just

57:52

shoveling them into his mouth. This is

57:55

so I can picture this entire thing.

57:57

Oh my god. It's crazy. But like

57:59

there were a lot of guys, old

58:01

guys. Like there was like old Jewish

58:04

cops. There was a Jewish like, you

58:06

know, gangsters would come in and I

58:08

was like, oh, we're doing that too

58:10

now. Yeah. But we've always been doing

58:12

that. Then there was one guy. They

58:15

used to come from the hospital. Yeah.

58:17

Like they'd have the fucking thing on

58:19

the tape. You know, they have the

58:21

fucking tape from the blood test. They're

58:24

about to die. They're like I shouldn't.

58:30

I used to make, I used to, I

58:32

made Kasha varnish gifts, what do you got?

58:34

Yeah, exactly. There's nothing better than a potato

58:36

family. I mean, a good one, yeah. No,

58:39

it's the best. Do you make them? Yeah,

58:41

but they take a long time to make.

58:43

Do they? Yeah, you put onions in it,

58:45

the whole thing. And then you got, you

58:47

put mots a meal. Yeah, and then you

58:50

put mots a meal. Yeah, and you put

58:52

mons. Yeah, sounds great. It was great, but

58:54

you got to figure out how to get

58:56

schmaltz. You got to cook a chicken, and

58:59

then you got to get the, because if

59:01

you cook the onions and schmaltz, it's like

59:03

a whole fucking other thing. Yeah. And then,

59:05

yeah. One of the first time I was

59:07

in my 20s, I made multiple soup. I

59:10

call my mother, I don't know what's happening,

59:12

but it tastes like water. It's literally, there's

59:14

no taste. She was, what did you put

59:16

in it you put in it in it,

59:19

and I said, and I said, and I

59:21

said, I said, it, I said, I said,

59:23

I said, I said, I said, I said,

59:25

I said, I said, I said, I said,

59:27

I said, I said, I said, I said,

59:30

I said, I said, I said, I said,

59:32

I said, I said, I said, I said,

59:34

I said, I said, I said, I said,

59:36

I said You have to put a chicken.

59:39

I literally cut it up breast of chicken

59:41

and put it in. To make the broth.

59:43

Oh no, I got real hung up with

59:45

the soup. You got to get bones. I

59:47

was saving bones for a while. Yeah. And

59:50

to get it with flavor. My fucking grandmother,

59:52

who I love, Goldie, she would just put

59:54

the instant. Really? She had to bulk it

59:56

up. She made pretty good. I love the

59:59

name Goldie. My great grandmother's name was Sadie.

1:00:01

I can Eda. I can Eda. That's Jacob,

1:00:03

Jack, Goldie, and then Eleanor. And Ben. Yeah,

1:00:05

these are, my grandparents were Beatrice and Irving.

1:00:07

That's my mom's parents name. Well, you used

1:00:10

to, then there was a woman, who I

1:00:12

think for my entire childhood when I go

1:00:14

to my grandmother's house for whatever parties, there

1:00:16

was a woman that seemed to be like

1:00:18

a hundred years old, and she would just

1:00:21

sit, she would be the only one that

1:00:23

would sit in the plastic covered furniture and

1:00:25

the woman. And I'd be like, who's that?

1:00:27

And she said, that's Tanta. Tanta. Tanta, yeah.

1:00:30

And it was my grandmother's aunt. Tanta. Yeah,

1:00:32

Tanta. Didn't speak English really. What does she

1:00:34

speak? Yiddish? Polish. Oh, a little bit. But

1:00:36

I don't remember ever having a conversation with

1:00:38

her. Yeah, some of them don't want to

1:00:41

talk to you. Yeah, they're just like done.

1:00:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there

1:00:45

was, and then my grandfather played cards with

1:00:47

these guys. Oh, they all play, my grandma,

1:00:50

my grandma played majon every day. Yeah, oh

1:00:52

yeah, they had the majon. They had the

1:00:54

wives played the wives played the majon, wives

1:00:56

played the majon, wives played the majon, wives

1:00:58

played the majon, wives played the majon, wives

1:01:01

played the majon, wives played the majon, wives

1:01:03

played the majon, wives played the majon, wives

1:01:05

played the majon, the majon, wives played the

1:01:07

majon, the majon, the majon, the majon, Joe's

1:01:10

a good player. Very good player. Yeah, I

1:01:12

what my grandparents belong to a club, you

1:01:14

know, a golf club growing up. I hated

1:01:16

going there. I used to say I used

1:01:18

to like go in the kitchen and be

1:01:21

nice to the staff. I felt bad for

1:01:23

every single person that worked there. And there

1:01:25

was a room where women were allowed to

1:01:27

go in. You could not step foot in

1:01:30

the room if you were, this was when

1:01:32

I was a kid when you were, if

1:01:34

you were a woman. And if you got

1:01:36

divorced, the woman couldn't be a member anymore.

1:01:38

Joe Margolis. Wait, wait, wait, I got more.

1:01:41

I have good ones too. Gerson. Eisenberg. Gerthen.

1:01:43

They call him Gert. Julie Lehauf. That's my

1:01:45

uncle's name. My great- Yeah, and Seymour, Julie

1:01:47

and Julie and Seymour were my grandmother's brothers.

1:01:50

Oh, Sylvia, you're Sylvia, that's your go-to. Yeah,

1:01:52

my grandfather, my great-grandfather was Ike Lerhof. Oh,

1:01:54

that's good. Yeah, Ike's good. Ike's good. Ike's

1:01:56

a great name. Yeah, I like it. A

1:01:58

lot of those names just don't, yes. Sandy.

1:02:01

Sandy is a great name for a Jewish

1:02:03

guy too. Sandy was great. Yeah. These are

1:02:05

like names that are like I guess

1:02:07

they had female kind of names. It's

1:02:10

interesting. Do you remember when

1:02:12

you met your first Ari and

1:02:14

you're like what the fuck is

1:02:16

that? Yeah. That was like the

1:02:18

next generation. Yeah. Those are like,

1:02:20

oh this is a Israel thing. Yeah.

1:02:22

When I met someone like a hoova.

1:02:25

My brother's kids are all

1:02:27

Jewish names. Really? But they're

1:02:30

like biblical, Matana. Oh, is he,

1:02:32

is he very religious? No, I think

1:02:34

he's gone, has his moments where

1:02:36

he was, yeah, he had to,

1:02:38

I mean, Jewish, they got Matana,

1:02:41

Eden, and Shai. Oh, okay. They're

1:02:43

all Jewish, Jewish. Yeah, they are.

1:02:45

So, you see your kids all the

1:02:47

time? Oh yeah, I mean I'm, that's why

1:02:49

I never left. And you get along with

1:02:51

Daniel? Yes, we do, we do. I

1:02:54

mean, listen, it took a minute, like

1:02:56

it's very hard, I know you went

1:02:58

through, it's like, it's like, it's really,

1:03:00

it's really, right, it's very, very difficult

1:03:02

when you have kids and I really

1:03:04

wanted to keep everything together because I

1:03:06

came from parents who had a really

1:03:08

bad divorce and they ended up getting

1:03:11

along and they were fine with each

1:03:13

other for years and really, I was

1:03:15

lucky, but, but, The thought of leaving

1:03:17

the house for me because when my

1:03:19

dad left it was horrific for

1:03:21

me. How old were you? Oh bad age

1:03:24

I was 12 when they got separated

1:03:26

and 13 when they got divorced but

1:03:28

they were not happy forever I mean

1:03:30

like they were not happy yeah so

1:03:32

I killed it killed me to leave

1:03:35

my kids yeah I had a little

1:03:37

bit of and this is just being

1:03:39

completely honest they have two moms yeah

1:03:41

and now they have one mom moving out.

1:03:43

Like I just felt, I couldn't not

1:03:45

project my stuff onto them. I had to

1:03:48

work on that a lot. Yeah. Because it

1:03:50

really, it wasn't true, like they're okay. But

1:03:52

I thought I was damaging them forever. Right.

1:03:55

I think it's a little different too

1:03:57

with a certain amount of self-awareness. It

1:03:59

is. Our parents' generations didn't give

1:04:01

a fuck. I mean, they did,

1:04:03

but they cared about themselves more.

1:04:05

Yeah, they did so narcissistic. Right,

1:04:07

right. If they go away, they'd

1:04:10

come back and they want to

1:04:12

make sure you like them. That's

1:04:14

so true, Mark. Yeah, not that

1:04:16

you felt safe. So I mean,

1:04:18

I talk about that all the

1:04:20

time. Yeah. That's all, like my

1:04:22

dad with my kids would always

1:04:24

be like, they're not laughing at

1:04:26

me. They're not excited to see

1:04:29

me. You know

1:04:31

he was always concerned about how much

1:04:33

they loved him or wanted to be

1:04:35

around him I'm like there too It's

1:04:37

crazy my grant my father doesn't even

1:04:39

really have a relationship with my brother's

1:04:42

kids Yeah, it's weird. I've because my

1:04:44

brother didn't really want it when at

1:04:46

one time it was like I've done

1:04:48

this on stage The selfishness of that

1:04:51

generation, it was, I mean, I can't

1:04:53

generalize, but I can't even generalize it

1:04:55

with Jews. I mean, some people had

1:04:57

OK parents. Of course, yeah. My friends

1:04:59

did. There is a type that create

1:05:02

people like us. You know, my mom

1:05:04

was involved in S. We've talked about

1:05:06

this before, the forum work. Yeah. Well,

1:05:08

that's, my mom was not. I don't

1:05:10

know. I think they were, I think

1:05:13

they were both kind of. I don't

1:05:15

know. They're very vain. My mom was

1:05:17

painting and whatever. They were never religious.

1:05:19

My mom's an art therapist. When you

1:05:22

said she's a painter, I was like,

1:05:24

that's interesting. But my dad, it was

1:05:26

for one of my brother's kids, Barmitzvah.

1:05:28

And my parents were divorced, but it

1:05:30

was later, but I had to go

1:05:33

get my dad, right? So there was

1:05:35

going to be some sort of lunch

1:05:37

or something for the kid. And I

1:05:39

go over to my dad's hotel hotel

1:05:41

hotel, and he goes, what are we

1:05:44

doing. And I'm like, I guess we're

1:05:46

going to go to the thing with

1:05:48

the, don't you want to go see

1:05:50

the kid? He's like, yeah, you know,

1:05:53

some people get something out of that.

1:05:55

I don't get anything out of that.

1:05:57

Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

1:05:59

I'm like, all right, what do you

1:06:01

want to do? He goes, you remember

1:06:04

those mustard slacks I used to have?

1:06:06

them all to try to find pants.

1:06:08

Incredible, right? Yeah, yeah, very telling. Yeah,

1:06:10

it's, it's, it's, it's not easy because

1:06:13

Danielle, first of all, my parents were

1:06:15

older. She's, she was not, she is

1:06:17

nine years younger than me. Her parents

1:06:19

were very involved. Oh, and that's part

1:06:21

of the reason why, no, that's part

1:06:24

of the reason why I stayed on

1:06:26

Long Island because I'm on the road

1:06:28

a lot and she you know her

1:06:30

family's around. Oh good. So it's important

1:06:32

they help. They're great. They're great. I

1:06:35

don't think I would have survived without

1:06:37

my grandmother. Right, right. They're so helpful

1:06:39

and I love them. Goldie saved my

1:06:41

life. Yeah. Because I think she genuinely

1:06:44

loved me unconditionally. Right. I didn't think

1:06:46

anyone did when I was growing up.

1:06:48

I really felt that way. Yeah. Yeah,

1:06:50

so it's better now and I see

1:06:52

them all the time and every time

1:06:55

I'm whole I don't like I used

1:06:57

to go into the city and do

1:06:59

spots all the time Don't I just

1:07:01

spend time with my kids. That's good.

1:07:03

Yeah Yeah, I mean, I think about

1:07:06

it all the time, like, even as

1:07:08

I get older, you know, that these,

1:07:10

the repercussions of, you know, whatever parenting

1:07:12

we got, you just, you can't get

1:07:15

out from under it. You can't. Well,

1:07:17

I don't, I always say I don't

1:07:19

think it, it never goes away. Yeah,

1:07:21

but it's like, I'm not angry at

1:07:23

that. filling that hole. It's real. When

1:07:26

you grow up without a mom present,

1:07:28

it's hard. It's constant work. It's not

1:07:30

the thing I think about every day,

1:07:32

but like I was around her in

1:07:34

Florida. Yeah. Well, like two weeks ago.

1:07:37

Yeah, and I stuff came up for

1:07:39

me and I'm look at me. I'm

1:07:41

older like. But I'm not angry at

1:07:43

all. Well, that's what I don't like

1:07:46

when people say when you're not going

1:07:48

to be angry at your parents. I'm

1:07:50

not. Yeah, I'm not either. But but

1:07:52

but I'm still dealing. You're traumatized by

1:07:54

certain things. Well, I was in Florida.

1:07:57

This is like in the last decade.

1:07:59

Yeah. And it was it was amazing.

1:08:01

I'm having one of these conversations or

1:08:03

whatever they are with my mother. And

1:08:05

my mother was very sexual. So like

1:08:08

I literally used to bring girlfriends to

1:08:10

Thanksgiving just to run interference. She's coming

1:08:12

at me with the arms, you know,

1:08:14

like a little touching. But you know,

1:08:17

pretty woman. So we're sitting there. I'm

1:08:19

like, I used to cook Thanksgiving dinner

1:08:21

for everybody. And I'm like prepping, I'm

1:08:23

cutting carrots. It's something my mother's sitting

1:08:25

there with the paper or whatever. And

1:08:28

just out of nowhere. She goes, you

1:08:30

know Mark. You know Mark. You know

1:08:32

Mark. When you were a baby, I

1:08:34

don't think I knew how to love

1:08:36

you. That is amazing. And passing and

1:08:39

I'm like, well that's it then. Yeah,

1:08:41

that's the answer. I mean, thank you.

1:08:43

I feel validated. Go back to my

1:08:45

therapist and be like, we're done. I

1:08:48

got it. That is so, see my

1:08:50

mom, my mom. I talk about, my

1:08:52

mom always did therapy with me, which

1:08:54

is not good. No. So she would

1:08:56

be like, you seem angry, draw a

1:08:59

picture of your feelings, and I'll analyze

1:09:01

it, but I'm like, you're the one,

1:09:03

I said, well, you sit still. Yeah.

1:09:05

But it's like, it's not great, because

1:09:07

I never felt like I could just

1:09:10

process my feelings, like she tried to

1:09:12

fix it. I know. Also, it's that

1:09:14

fucking thing, like, like, they were so

1:09:16

needy. They were so, they needed so

1:09:19

much attention and they needed. And it's

1:09:21

like, yeah, it was never just about

1:09:23

me ever. I'm in a relationship now

1:09:25

where someone's like very like giving and

1:09:27

cares about my feelings and I'm like,

1:09:30

oh my God, this is, it was

1:09:32

very uncomfortable. I don't know how you

1:09:34

dealt with it. I didn't trust it.

1:09:36

No, I don't trust it at all.

1:09:39

I know, but you learned if you,

1:09:41

there's a. If you constantly communicated about

1:09:43

it, which I don't like doing sometimes,

1:09:45

but talk about your fears, it really

1:09:47

helps. But how do you deal with

1:09:50

the fact that, you know, sadly, that

1:09:52

being loved in a genuine way is

1:09:54

profoundly... uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable but I

1:09:56

think I got to the point because

1:09:58

my my ex loved me it just

1:10:01

we were not right for each other

1:10:03

and it just got worse and worse

1:10:05

and I'm you know there was things

1:10:07

that happened but I am older now

1:10:10

and I'm thinking like I'm done like

1:10:12

I need to be treated well I

1:10:14

deserve to be treated like you know

1:10:16

like the best. I deserve that. I've

1:10:18

been through enough hell, like I know

1:10:21

you have in relationships. I'd rather be

1:10:23

alone, the rest of my life. And

1:10:25

my biggest thing was finding someone who's

1:10:27

kind and who will work on themselves.

1:10:29

Everything else is a plus, is an

1:10:32

add-on. Yeah, but when it's so it's

1:10:34

very hard to get around when they're

1:10:36

kind. I think you have to be

1:10:38

ready for it. No, I know, but

1:10:41

when they're kind and then there's probably,

1:10:43

it's like, you're like, you're fucking with

1:10:45

me. Right, of course, I have that

1:10:47

sometimes. Yeah, yeah, what do you want?

1:10:49

Like this is not gonna, this is

1:10:52

gonna end someday. You're gonna switch, you're

1:10:54

gonna turn. Yeah, I can't trust you.

1:10:56

It's all, I think also watching someone

1:10:58

with other people. Yeah. Because she has

1:11:00

kids too. So watching how she is

1:11:03

with her kids, that's a big thing.

1:11:05

And also like the priorities become different,

1:11:07

you know, certain things relax, you know,

1:11:09

you don't give a fuck about certain

1:11:12

things as much as you used to

1:11:14

and you realize I imagine that companionship

1:11:16

and and it is companionship friendship. Yeah,

1:11:18

yeah, that it comes down to that.

1:11:20

And it's hard to meet people, like

1:11:23

where do you meet people? Women. Yeah,

1:11:25

I had a feeling. I mean, you're

1:11:27

so adorable. You are. And you're so

1:11:29

honest. I was thinking about it before

1:11:31

for a second when you were talking

1:11:34

like about your mom being sexual. Like

1:11:36

I just, I'm always impressed at how

1:11:38

deep you get. Like how you look

1:11:40

at this stuff and you're so honest.

1:11:43

It's really beautiful. I talk about it

1:11:45

here, you know, and I don't always

1:11:47

think about it. And certain things I

1:11:49

knew were odd. You know, I know

1:11:51

there's elements in my personality that I

1:11:54

don't fall, I'm not easy to put

1:11:56

into a box, you know, with some

1:11:58

people like he's cranky Jew. It's like

1:12:00

I'm not really, but if that's what

1:12:02

the part you want. want to see.

1:12:05

I know. And that's what you can

1:12:07

connect to. That's fine. You know, but

1:12:09

my issues are very weirdly specific and

1:12:11

you know the things I like and

1:12:14

how I was brought up and because

1:12:16

when you're you have a vacuum at

1:12:18

your center of self, you know you

1:12:20

have a different kind of life because

1:12:22

you spend most of your life trying

1:12:25

to be something. and liking things that

1:12:27

other people like. Right, right. So you

1:12:29

get, I get all these different facets

1:12:31

of my personality. Like we do this

1:12:33

thing where they ask me questions to

1:12:36

fans and someone goes, what are your

1:12:38

favorite, you know, sort of deep-cut Leonard

1:12:40

Skinner songs? I'm like, oh, I've got

1:12:42

a lot of them. Yeah. Like, well,

1:12:45

how did I get that? Well, it's

1:12:47

because I wanted to be like, you

1:12:49

know, like, I know my dad. and

1:12:51

his insanity and the depression and the

1:12:53

narcissism and all that. But I think

1:12:56

that my mother is really at the

1:12:58

core of it and I don't even

1:13:00

want to touch it. I know I

1:13:02

had I always like I had my

1:13:05

dad was not I was great he

1:13:07

was the funniest person I knew but

1:13:09

he was verbally abusive very But he

1:13:11

was more like, you see it, like

1:13:13

exactly what you're saying. Like you just

1:13:16

know, he has a temper, he's charming,

1:13:18

he's an appropriate at times, he's a

1:13:20

great businessman, but with my mom, it's

1:13:22

so deep. It's so, I know, the

1:13:24

same thing. But they were the diminishers.

1:13:27

Yeah. Like, you know, the yelling, the

1:13:29

emotional abuse, that's annihilating. Right. But my

1:13:31

mom was cutting. I know, I know,

1:13:33

I know, it's very underlying. It's very,

1:13:36

It's for me, it's so intense because

1:13:38

it's mom, like it's someone who gave

1:13:40

birth to you, there's such a connection.

1:13:42

You know, it's different. It's just so

1:13:44

weird. I used to do a bit

1:13:47

about, you know, like how people in

1:13:49

my age have living parents and they're

1:13:51

like, you know, I talked to my

1:13:53

mother all the time and I'm like,

1:13:55

why? Yeah, so he has a thing.

1:13:58

Definitely. Yeah. But he's like he's he's

1:14:00

fought it. I like I gave up

1:14:02

something you know he was like I'm

1:14:04

gonna be different I'm gonna do it

1:14:07

different yeah I'm not you know but

1:14:09

he's also one of those guys that

1:14:11

he's a searcher I'm not really a

1:14:13

searcher like that yeah spiritual psychological yeah

1:14:15

me either he does all the things

1:14:18

my poor brother when he was like

1:14:20

a kid. Do you remember Leo Buscalia?

1:14:22

Yeah. The hugging psychotherapist he was. So

1:14:24

my brother was like, you know, maybe

1:14:26

12 and somehow he got hold of

1:14:29

a Leo Buscalia book and the poor

1:14:31

kid was just running around hugging everybody.

1:14:33

Oh, that's sweet. I mean, that's sad.

1:14:35

Yeah. So he's like from early on,

1:14:38

he's wanted to resolve, you know, this

1:14:40

thing to get to fix it. Me

1:14:42

too. I stopped. I stopped. a while

1:14:44

ago because I'm like, I accepted that

1:14:46

people are who they are, especially our

1:14:49

parents because they're older. It's like, where

1:14:51

they all of a sudden change now?

1:14:53

I mean, it is what it is.

1:14:55

Yeah, now my dad's within his mind

1:14:57

and like he's all, you know, soft

1:15:00

and you know, kind of like, you

1:15:02

know, that's so interesting. Well, it's just

1:15:04

a, but yeah. The thing that I

1:15:06

identify more than anything else is that

1:15:09

they weren't really capable of any sort

1:15:11

of selfless love. But they were filled

1:15:13

with worry and panic. That was the

1:15:15

love you thought. And it was, I

1:15:17

mean, you thought it was. And it

1:15:20

was all about them. Like I had

1:15:22

this realization. Yeah, mine too. I had

1:15:24

this realization that they're sort of like,

1:15:26

make sure you call if you're going

1:15:28

to be late. But not because they

1:15:31

care that you're going to happen. Something

1:15:33

happened. Yeah. It would make my life

1:15:35

terrible if something was good. Well, my

1:15:37

dad could not handle when we were

1:15:40

sick. That's why I said he couldn't

1:15:42

handle when we cried. Like any time

1:15:44

you were vulnerable, but he'd be like,

1:15:46

great, you have a headache, this is

1:15:48

all I fucking need. Business is bad,

1:15:51

I got to fucking work on. You're

1:15:53

probably sick. Something's going to happen. Like

1:15:55

it was so dramatic. It sounds like

1:15:57

I'm joking. I know. And it was

1:15:59

all about him and how it affected

1:16:02

affected his day. Yeah. the worst, you

1:16:04

know, it would be the other way.

1:16:06

My mother can't handle sickness at all.

1:16:08

Really? It's a mom, like that's not,

1:16:11

that's... My mom just like, if you're

1:16:13

sick, she's sort of like, well, maybe

1:16:15

you could live at someone else's house

1:16:17

for, you know. Well, maybe she just

1:16:19

killed yourself, you wouldn't be sick. Go

1:16:22

outside. But, uh... Go ahead, fresh air.

1:16:24

But then my dad was a doctor.

1:16:26

So, like, you know, I swear to

1:16:28

God. Because doctors

1:16:31

they overcompensate and they know other doctors.

1:16:33

I swear to God when we moved

1:16:35

from Jersey or I think we were

1:16:37

in Alaska My dad was in service.

1:16:39

We came to New Mexico and I

1:16:42

we had been there maybe a month

1:16:44

or something. Yeah, and I had like

1:16:46

terrible stomach pains. Yeah And my dad

1:16:48

knew like, you know, one doctor, because

1:16:51

he'd only been there a little while,

1:16:53

this guy named Dr. Chester. And I

1:16:55

only say this because I want to

1:16:57

picture to be thorough. This guy was

1:16:59

this heavy set black man with like,

1:17:02

you know, these big side burns, right?

1:17:04

So I'm complaining about these horrible gas

1:17:06

pains. I've already these pains in my

1:17:08

stomach. And my dad's like, I'll call

1:17:11

Chester, he'll come over the house. So

1:17:13

now I got, you know, my dad,

1:17:15

they, they do. I think this might

1:17:17

be, it's not out and out abuse,

1:17:20

but this guy Chester does a rectal

1:17:22

exam on me. Yeah, how old were

1:17:24

you? I must have been 10. Oh

1:17:26

my God. In the bathroom of our

1:17:28

house that we just moved into, why

1:17:31

my dad is standing there? Yeah, this

1:17:33

is traumatizing. Yeah. Very traumatizing. And then

1:17:35

he decides he did, I have appendicitis.

1:17:37

And within a week, I'm in the

1:17:40

hospital and that's guy. Yeah, my dad

1:17:42

doesn't know. They takes my appendix out.

1:17:44

Doesn't do it right. The scar is

1:17:46

not correct. And time will tell that

1:17:48

this guy might not have been like

1:17:51

the best doctor in the world. But

1:17:53

he wasn't even a doctor. Can you

1:17:55

imagine? He was the principal. But the

1:17:57

truth is, I probably just had gas.

1:18:00

Oh my God, this is so... But

1:18:02

the thing that I guess where this

1:18:04

came from with the point was like

1:18:06

when you have a doctor now is

1:18:08

like you want to get attention from

1:18:11

them so you I was a hypochondriac.

1:18:13

I understand that. But you never know

1:18:15

you can end up at their friend's

1:18:17

house getting a prochological example. Right. I

1:18:20

had a vet. Like I could go

1:18:22

to any doctor and I would go

1:18:24

to like I think that's very traumatizing.

1:18:26

I did it with my mom with

1:18:28

emotional stuff because if I talked to

1:18:31

her about having to therapy with me.

1:18:33

Exactly. Same exact thing. Right. And that

1:18:35

was the only way you could get

1:18:37

the focus. Yeah. Negative attention. Well, they

1:18:40

gave me attention for weight stuff and

1:18:42

eating, so I blew up when I

1:18:44

was younger. Yeah. Because it's the only

1:18:46

way I could get them. You talked

1:18:48

about the special the fat camp thing.

1:18:51

Yeah. My mom was anorexic and she

1:18:53

always thought I was fat. There was

1:18:55

nothing. Where are the husky, where's the

1:18:57

husky section? Where's the husky section for

1:19:00

the heavy children? Yeah. Yeah. In Bloomingdale's.

1:19:02

Should we go to get a fitted

1:19:04

sheet? She's huge. Where's the huskies? They

1:19:06

were so aggressive and loud and inappropriate

1:19:09

and boundaryless that that whole generate like

1:19:11

oh my god. My mom wasn't really

1:19:13

loud but she was like she picked

1:19:15

her mama she was pretty funny. So

1:19:17

she thought you were heavy. Yes. Because

1:19:20

there's Jewish heavy. It's 10 pounds or

1:19:22

something. 5 or 10 pounds. That means

1:19:24

you're enormous. Yeah, yeah. Oh no. And

1:19:26

she would like, she would like, you

1:19:29

know, when I go see her, then

1:19:31

she'd hug me and she'd pinch my

1:19:33

size. Yeah, touching with the fat. Yeah,

1:19:35

there was a, it sounds like there

1:19:37

was a lot of physical, yeah. Deepest

1:19:40

issues are this, the body. It's amazing

1:19:42

you take such good care of yourself.

1:19:44

How am I not? Right now I'm

1:19:46

like, I'm like, I've been in the

1:19:49

other way. I mean you could have

1:19:51

really not taken care of yourself. That's

1:19:53

true. And you always, it seems to

1:19:55

me, since I've known you, you always

1:19:57

have. I'm pretty compulsive about it. Yeah.

1:20:00

a lot during this session. Me too,

1:20:02

I feel much better. What are you

1:20:04

doing for anxiety? I don't do enough,

1:20:06

but I do, of course I'm in

1:20:09

therapy. No, and I'm sober. No, I

1:20:11

do, I am medicated, but on a

1:20:13

small amount, but I need to be.

1:20:15

I just started one. Yeah, for the

1:20:17

first time in my life. Really? Wow,

1:20:20

how are you feeling? I did Prozac

1:20:22

years ago for a month or two,

1:20:24

but no, this is like, I got

1:20:26

tired. The guys say I have an

1:20:29

obsessional anxiety. That's how I am. I

1:20:31

know I keep saying where we're very

1:20:33

similar. I have the catastrophic thinking and

1:20:35

then I just, I spend the day

1:20:37

with it. Yeah, yeah. I was like

1:20:40

that before I was on the current,

1:20:42

the exact same thing. Now I'm not.

1:20:44

I'm on, what's it called? Testinflaxine, which

1:20:46

is... Oh my god, you don't even

1:20:49

know what I'm on. Yeah, I'm trying

1:20:51

to. I take Tresenone at night, which

1:20:53

is not addictive to help me sleep.

1:20:55

I tried, I'm on, I'm trying to

1:20:58

be a sporing. Yeah, I've done that.

1:21:00

It's good. Yeah. Yeah, because I, it's

1:21:02

not, it's not like a tall little

1:21:04

brain number. It's not. No. Prozac, when

1:21:06

I did Prozac, when I was in

1:21:09

college, I didn't feel a thing. I'm

1:21:11

not even kidding. a vegetable. It's like

1:21:13

a ghost, everything becomes a phantom limb.

1:21:15

Yeah, I did not, I didn't cry,

1:21:18

I didn't laugh a lot. Your brain

1:21:20

knows you're supposed to be, but it's

1:21:22

just sort of like, no, I guess,

1:21:24

I don't know. Yeah, when I'm on,

1:21:26

I feel my emotions, I cry, I

1:21:29

can laugh. How are you even sober

1:21:31

now? I've been sober four and a

1:21:33

half years back. I relapsed during COVID.

1:21:35

Yeah. No, it was never fun. I

1:21:38

know you've never relapsed, but that was

1:21:40

not my first relapse, and it's just

1:21:42

a nightmare. I tell people, because I'm

1:21:44

like, don't do it. There was no,

1:21:46

first of all, I did not do

1:21:49

it to get high. I did it

1:21:51

to knock myself out. Meaning I just,

1:21:53

I took, I smoked like tons of

1:21:55

pot and took Ambien. Yeah. Oh, really.

1:21:58

Not the only thing, but meaning I

1:22:00

took a ton of Ambien, and I

1:22:02

just wanted to knock myself out. very

1:22:04

upset about my career like with COVID.

1:22:06

I was not happy in my relationship

1:22:09

and I was stuck home, not on

1:22:11

the road and then my dad passed

1:22:13

away during COVID. So I was done.

1:22:15

Yeah, it's, well it's interesting that with

1:22:18

the awareness you had that the relapse

1:22:20

had intention, you weren't lying to yourself,

1:22:22

you weren't like, I can do it.

1:22:24

You're like, no, I want to do

1:22:26

this to do get this effect. Yeah.

1:22:29

You weren't like, you know, I can

1:22:31

control it or anything like a time

1:22:33

when I'm like. I can smoke a

1:22:35

little bit. That was a long time

1:22:38

ago. I'm like, I love when people

1:22:40

are like, why can't you smoke a

1:22:42

little pot? I'm like, I'll end up

1:22:44

eating out of a garbage and like

1:22:47

fucking every friend when they don't even

1:22:49

want me to. Like I'm out of

1:22:51

my mind. I'm a complete animal addict.

1:22:53

I'm a complete animal addict. Yeah. I

1:22:55

can't just have a hit of pot.

1:22:58

I know. Mom's

1:23:01

inappropriateness. I need a pouch. She's

1:23:03

coming at me. Yeah. Oh, the

1:23:05

vacuum. So, what are you promoting?

1:23:08

I love it, you just said

1:23:10

that. I have a special on

1:23:12

animal planet called Mu. You can't

1:23:14

get it unless you have the

1:23:16

premium. Yeah. Now the special is

1:23:19

so funny. It's called, I'm the

1:23:21

man. And it's on Hulu, it's

1:23:23

coming out April 25th, and I'm

1:23:25

really proud of it. Like I

1:23:28

really had to watch it. I'm

1:23:30

not watching myself. But you're going

1:23:32

to talk about that. Yeah, but

1:23:34

you're great though, how you felt

1:23:37

all right about it. It's interesting

1:23:39

when you finally do it. You're

1:23:41

like, oh, that's me. I did,

1:23:43

because of the way that we

1:23:46

edited it for a long time.

1:23:48

And like, it's fast moving. People

1:23:50

don't need to think a lot.

1:23:52

I'm just, I do a lot

1:23:55

of characters. always been conscious of

1:23:57

to straight men. Meaning like, it's

1:23:59

not like a female comic special.

1:24:01

You're like, you're like, old school,

1:24:04

like, you know, pounder. Yeah, that's

1:24:06

exactly how I feel. Good, you

1:24:08

know, a lot of good dirty

1:24:10

jokes, a lot of good personal

1:24:12

jokes. This one's a little dirty,

1:24:15

the other, this one's dirty, the

1:24:17

other, this one's dirty, the other,

1:24:19

this one's dirty, you know, like,

1:24:21

half of it, but the last

1:24:24

one I did is not at

1:24:26

all, like whatever I put out.

1:24:28

How's it different? It's really not

1:24:30

about sex or it's more like

1:24:33

stuff that everyone goes through kind

1:24:35

of thing. You know, like going

1:24:37

to weddings. Oh, okay. So it's

1:24:39

about my kids' experiences that people

1:24:42

have in common, but it's you

1:24:44

doing it. Yes, it's about having

1:24:46

kids and different funny things that

1:24:48

I'm experiencing. It's more, yeah. Yeah.

1:24:51

Oh, good. Well, I thought it

1:24:53

was great. I always like talking

1:24:55

to you. You're like talking to

1:24:57

you, too. There

1:25:03

you go. Jessica is special.

1:25:05

I'm the man is on

1:25:07

Hulu. It's streaming starting tomorrow.

1:25:10

Yeah, hang out. Hang out

1:25:12

for a minute. Folks,

1:25:15

Peloton has what you need to achieve

1:25:18

your fitness goals no matter why you

1:25:20

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Find your push, find your power with

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Peloton at one peloton.com. One thing that's

1:25:48

not going to surprise you if you're

1:25:51

a regular listener, we love LA. Why

1:25:53

wouldn't we? It's been the home of

1:25:55

the show for 16 years and I've

1:25:57

lived here. for longer than that. And

1:25:59

when you come to visit Los Angeles,

1:26:02

no matter how long you're here, you'll

1:26:04

be able to take in a lot

1:26:06

of stuff I love about this place.

1:26:08

Like there's the food. There are seemingly

1:26:10

endless options from all sorts of cuisines

1:26:13

and dining styles. Yeah, you got B.

1:26:15

Wally, vegan AF out here in Eagle

1:26:17

Rock. You got crossroads for the high-end

1:26:19

vegan food. A lot of stuff, shopping

1:26:21

here. You've got to give me, give

1:26:24

me records if you want some records,

1:26:26

or amoeba records, or permanent records, and

1:26:28

of course there's no substitute for LA

1:26:30

when it comes to the best entertainment.

1:26:32

Get over to Hollywood Boulevard and see

1:26:34

a star ceremony on the Walk of

1:26:37

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1:26:39

of other comedians at the comedy store,

1:26:41

which has world-class comedy every night. L.A.,

1:26:43

it's like 10 cities in one. If

1:26:45

you come visit, I guarantee you'll love

1:26:48

L.A. as much as I do. Find

1:26:50

more ways to love L.A. at discoverl.com.

1:26:52

Folks, we posted a new bonus episode

1:26:54

this week covering a bunch of things.

1:26:56

My upcoming episode with David Cronenberg, my

1:26:59

talk with Mike Barbiglia, and my mouth,

1:27:01

which has gotten me into trouble my

1:27:03

whole life. The difference between my engagement

1:27:05

around this stuff... and around speaking my

1:27:07

mind that is part of me and

1:27:10

it is something I do and it

1:27:12

is important, but there is another operative

1:27:14

part of me of like, you know,

1:27:16

oh man, you know, now I've caused

1:27:18

all this trouble for myself, I've caused

1:27:21

other people trouble, and you know, now

1:27:23

I have to sit with that, or

1:27:25

try, you know, I've gotten better at

1:27:27

that because you've got to do some

1:27:29

things that are going to come back

1:27:32

at you in the form of, attacks

1:27:34

or trolling or you know judgment and

1:27:36

you know it's just life but I'm

1:27:38

very aware of the decision-making around doing

1:27:40

it. Well one of the things that

1:27:43

I always take to heart and I

1:27:45

remember hearing this from one of Letterman's

1:27:47

producers that Letterman told the producers of

1:27:49

the show your job

1:27:51

is to protect me

1:27:54

from myself. Yeah. And I've

1:27:56

I've always taken

1:27:58

that to heart. I don't

1:28:00

I don't mean

1:28:02

that from the sense

1:28:05

of like, to censor

1:28:07

you, I you. I do

1:28:09

obviously not because like we, you

1:28:11

know, have a pretty connected

1:28:14

relationship on that front. censoring, it's literally

1:28:16

protecting me from myself. for It's not

1:28:18

censoring, but that's why, when I

1:28:20

think about doing things, I'm like, know,

1:28:23

run this by the brain. like, I gotta run

1:28:25

this by the brain. bonus episode is available

1:28:27

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1:28:37

go to wtf a reminder we go, this

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podcast is hosted by before

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