0:10

Oh, okay. Andrew, welcome

0:12

back from the city

0:14

of earthly pleasures. What

0:16

do they call it? I

0:19

mean, yeah, that's very

0:21

biblical, right? Sin

0:23

city isn't an earthly

0:25

pleasure. What the hell

0:28

is the Bible about

0:30

you guys? What is

0:32

the deal with the Bible?

0:34

What's going on in here?

0:36

Man, this is, yosis racist.

0:39

I got back from Vegas

0:41

last night. I was telling

0:43

these guys down on the trip,

0:46

but fine math-wise. Lost three big

0:48

flips for all you poker heads

0:50

out there, which can happen, but

0:52

wow, it was painful. Oh, and

0:55

I got, for the poker heads

0:57

out there, I also got two

0:59

outed by a ridiculous hand, so

1:02

tough trip. No one wants a

1:04

no. No one wants a

1:06

no. You explained what that

1:08

meant before the recording and

1:10

I still don't understand

1:12

but I'm sorry for your loss.

1:14

Yeah. I'm equity up money down.

1:17

Because it's a loss, it's an

1:19

actual loss. Do people say I'm

1:21

sorry for your loss in poker?

1:23

They should more. Yeah. Just like

1:25

really gravely. That would be

1:27

nice. Yeah. I'm going to

1:30

start saying that when I

1:32

leave the bar. Well, I'm

1:35

equity up, money down. Yeah,

1:37

you had your fun equity.

1:39

Uh-huh. Yeah. It's all in

1:41

there. It's all in there. How

1:44

much is a memory worth?

1:46

That's right. How much is

1:49

it not worth? Alcohol. That's

1:51

Vegas math. What's going on?

1:54

What are we doing? What

1:56

is this? Number two do

1:58

we do we still do? racism news,

2:01

it's bad folks. Number three, I

2:03

guess the news thing, part of

2:05

the reason I was distracted when

2:08

we were starting the show is

2:10

we just got a text from

2:12

enemy of the show and possible.

2:14

We'll just say possible. Everyone can

2:17

go by everyone's data on 23

2:19

and me right now. I didn't

2:21

realize I was doing some more

2:23

research. Jessica Gow texted to say

2:26

Andrew. gloat fodder because we'll say

2:28

relatively famously slash not famously I

2:30

was very much against what let's

2:32

say one of my defined one

2:35

of the our core friend moments

2:37

is me drunkenly berating Jessica Gao

2:39

for using 23 and me because

2:41

don't sell them your DNA. And

2:44

then me really being on one

2:46

saying, if you want to know,

2:48

you can just sequence your own

2:50

DNA, which probably is the most

2:53

Andrew encapsulating concept possible. And this

2:55

wasn't like a one-time, oh, Andrew

2:57

was drunk. First of all, let's

3:00

separate the two things, because one

3:02

very reasonable, and I agree with

3:04

you, and I was always anti

3:06

giving these fucking companies your blood

3:09

or your spit or your spit

3:11

or whatever. Like, I just want

3:13

to know if anyone's seen even

3:15

one dystopian sci-fi movie made in

3:18

the last 100 years. Like, yeah.

3:20

So, fully with you on that,

3:22

but when you take it the,

3:24

the Andrew added bonus step further

3:27

of, it's super easy to sequence

3:29

your own DNA, all you need

3:31

to do is get a centrifuge,

3:33

that's when I go, now hold

3:36

on. And some enzymes. It's not

3:38

one time. Yeah, the enzymes that

3:40

you then looked up online proof

3:42

that you purchased them without having

3:45

to be like the UCLA lab

3:47

because I was like, who's just

3:49

selling Lucy enzymes out there? They

3:52

were expensive. I got it. That's

3:54

on me. Multiple times. You said

3:56

multiple times in multiple groups. Guys,

3:58

it's so easy. It's just I

4:01

do believe it. I'm just saying,

4:03

from a physical perspective, I will

4:05

say it, I said it before

4:07

I say it again, it's not

4:10

that much more than all the

4:12

fucking COVID tests everyone got it

4:14

doing. I'm just saying in terms

4:16

of like the pipetting action. What

4:19

you described, what we did for

4:21

a COVID test is we jammed

4:23

it in our nose and we

4:25

swirled it in a little tube.

4:28

Yeah, it's pretty close. Andrew what's

4:30

harder to find loose DNA or

4:32

the tofu you and Jessica get

4:34

in random parts of the valley

4:37

well the tofu was secret so

4:39

that was harder but less expensive

4:41

I should have I should have

4:44

probably realized the enzymes cost five

4:46

figures and that's on me but

4:48

but or the suite of enzymes

4:50

I don't know there's a little

4:53

bit of software you also probably

4:55

would want to But I would

4:57

probably say, you could probably figure

4:59

out the math of the software.

5:02

Anyway, starting his own theronos, just

5:04

out of spite. My point was

5:06

that science is not obtuse and

5:08

difficult the way people generally think,

5:11

and you all have the power

5:13

within you to do these things.

5:15

That was what I was trying

5:17

to say, but I was saying

5:20

it, and not just limited to

5:22

you as this racist. I was

5:24

saying it in a way that

5:26

was off-putting and mansplainy. And therefore,

5:29

people didn't like it. I don't

5:31

know any men that explained like

5:33

that, so I don't even call

5:36

it man-spliny. This was pure Andrew

5:38

Mannia. It was condescending and know

5:40

it all, which is me. And

5:42

that's why, and again, that is

5:45

very much the tone of Yosis

5:47

racist, and I understand that, but

5:49

that's what I was trying to

5:51

say is everyone can do this.

5:54

Don't fucking give your data to

5:56

a god damn tech company that

5:58

of course it was going to

6:00

go out of business. This thing

6:03

is this version of it's going

6:05

out of business and it's simply

6:07

auctioning off its database of DNA.

6:09

Right. You know with whatever security

6:12

like it was always going to

6:14

be. This is actually more straight

6:16

up than what I assumed was

6:18

happening, which is that they were

6:21

violating some kind of agreement. But

6:23

no, they're just like, oh yeah,

6:25

the fine print set, we could

6:28

do this. BIE, what are you

6:30

going to do? Suit, nothing? Anyway,

6:32

every tech company is like this.

6:34

Yeah. And apparently they're going out

6:37

of business, they're going, they declared

6:39

bankruptcy. So they're really selling off

6:41

their assets to just whomever. How

6:43

are they bankrupt when every white

6:46

person I know was so excited

6:48

to tell me they were 1%

6:50

from the African continent? Like everyone

6:52

I know did one of these.

6:55

Why? How is this coming? Posting,

6:57

so I technically can say it.

6:59

Why PFT catching strays? They did

7:01

have a business, how much did

7:04

it cost, like 60 bucks, 100

7:06

bucks? I wouldn't know, I'm not

7:08

insane. Yeah, first of all, that

7:10

ends I made cheap as we

7:13

know, and section of law. I'm

7:15

the boldly lots between the mainstream

7:17

insanity, I'm the person who's seen

7:20

Terminator 2 enough times to know

7:22

I'm not giving my DNA to

7:24

a company, but I'm not the

7:26

full tilt and your insanity of

7:29

let me get a centrifuge on

7:31

Amazon. I just said. No, not

7:33

on Amazon. I'm thinking maybe Craigslist.

7:35

Oh boy. Craigslist centrifuge is an

7:38

insane premise that just broke my

7:40

brain. It's got to be there.

7:42

It's got to be. I mean,

7:44

the thing is, it's like the

7:47

villains in Gatica, but without even

7:49

all the like the taste and

7:51

restraint. It's like, it's just like

7:53

tech douche bags who are the

7:56

biggest dorks on earth. They're the

7:58

people who think a cyber truck

8:00

looks cool. Those people were the

8:02

ones you trusted with your DNA.

8:05

Speaking of, if you haven't seen

8:07

Gatica, it's one of my favorite

8:09

movies. 1996, Ethan Hawk, Uma Thurman,

8:12

Jude Law. Yeah. This, I'm sure

8:14

this surgery existed, but that was

8:16

the first place I heard of

8:18

that wild-ass shin, like to try

8:21

to like get like, you know,

8:23

three quarters of an inch taller,

8:25

like spiral fracturing your shins and

8:27

then putting yourself in traction to

8:30

grow. Them using that I guess

8:32

see in in a in real

8:34

life. It would be the bad

8:36

guys using that for their own

8:39

vanity That's Yeah every sci-fi villain

8:41

you you just forget that like

8:43

in real life They're all that

8:45

they're all those things but they're

8:48

huge dorks and they're fucking stupid

8:50

also Okay, so delete your info

8:52

from that site if you got

8:54

on there to see exactly what

8:57

flavor of white you were I

8:59

know more than just white people

9:01

did it too, but it was

9:04

a very, it was a very

9:06

white culture thing to do. Oh,

9:08

speaking of Elon Musk, they, I'm

9:10

sure this is, you know, fake

9:13

on some level, but they did,

9:15

they have some suspects in one

9:17

of the like Tesla vandalism cases.

9:19

Um, surprise, law enforcement's pretty good

9:22

when it comes to fucking supporting

9:24

Elon Musk. And I will just

9:26

say, just, you know, general life

9:28

advice. The one thing I wanted

9:31

to say is I, not that

9:33

these folks who are probably going

9:35

to feel the force of the

9:37

fascist law enforcement for vandalizing some

9:40

Tesla, I believe dealerships or showrooms

9:42

or something, they're really coming after

9:44

those folks. But not that this

9:46

is what was happening with them,

9:49

but. If listen we're

9:51

in a time where potential like

9:53

you know people you're just gonna

9:55

have to start making decisions What

9:58

is legal is not always what

10:00

is right, but a Just in

10:02

case you're one of the young

10:05

folks or whatever doing this, people

10:07

really need a reminder to keep

10:09

your fucking mouth shut and some

10:11

of the stuff you're doing, you're

10:14

not doing it for clout. Like,

10:16

do not talk about it. Do

10:18

not post about it. Like, you

10:21

know, if you have to do

10:23

things, just like. This is now

10:25

part of taking care of yourself

10:27

is like realizing you're not doing

10:30

this for attention. And I do

10:32

think we live in a time

10:34

when people don't understand that and

10:37

people just do shit and want

10:39

to talk about it and absolutely

10:41

don't do that. Yeah. Here we

10:43

go. Here's a voicemail. Hi, I

10:46

have a general advice question about

10:48

having a friend group that's really

10:50

interspersed with people that you work

10:53

with and trying to keep the

10:55

balance of your time together outside

10:57

of work where the conversation doesn't

10:59

necessarily skew towards work things. I'm

11:02

wondering if you have any advice

11:04

about keeping that balance. Thank you.

11:06

Oh. Great question. I would encourage

11:09

the age-old... art form of gossip,

11:11

like gossip about non-work people, that

11:13

can be fun. How do we

11:15

keep our chats about non-work things?

11:18

I would argue gossiping about people

11:20

from work still counts as not

11:22

work talk. As long as you're

11:25

not talking about like talking shop,

11:27

in terms of like the mechanics

11:29

of your job, I think that

11:31

counts. Just talking shit. I love

11:34

that we recommended gossip. No, I

11:36

think it's just about having other

11:38

interests with those people. So whether

11:41

it's you all trying to watch

11:43

the same show, our group chat

11:45

has all been watching the pit

11:47

now, thanks to Kevin. And I

11:50

can't, I won't. started. So I

11:52

do feel a little left out

11:54

of the discourse, but that's okay.

11:57

There are other things that we

11:59

talk about. But yeah, find some

12:01

shared interests that don't have anything

12:03

to do with work. Start reading

12:06

a book, listening to a podcast.

12:08

Yeah, or going to things together.

12:10

I was just telling Tony and

12:13

Andrew about going to Vegas with

12:15

all my old earwold friends and

12:17

we even did that when we

12:19

worked together. And then that just

12:22

gave us years of inside jokes

12:24

of things that happened at. the

12:26

events at Vegas and Vegas and

12:29

stuff. So anytime there's like a

12:31

nice excuse for a little outing

12:33

I think can be fun because

12:35

then you kind of go back

12:38

to referencing that and not just

12:40

having your group text be all

12:42

about work 24 7. I would

12:45

also say I've seen gray areas

12:47

of this. If you are gonna

12:49

do maybe shit talking with friends.

12:52

I would just try to always

12:54

be mindful of. your paper trail

12:56

and your receipts of, I don't

12:58

know, I don't think I had

13:01

any issues with this, but I

13:03

was always, like we were just

13:05

talking about the 23 and me,

13:08

always assume a higher power is

13:10

seeing everything you're posting. So, I

13:12

mean, there is a period on

13:14

Zoom that horrified me that I

13:17

immediately turned off. It defaulted to

13:19

the host had the access to

13:21

chats of other people. Now fortunately

13:24

mine were mostly just sending Dropbox

13:26

links but I was like oh

13:28

this just feels like an invasion

13:30

of privacy. I think that was

13:33

just a default that was on

13:35

for like two weeks before enough

13:37

people complained. So if you are

13:40

gonna talk shit, which is very

13:42

fun, and I would argue healthy,

13:44

it feels very good to do.

13:46

Be mindful of where you're doing

13:49

it. Yeah, you have to do

13:51

it. I also wanted to ask

13:53

to go to the base of

13:56

this question, which is that like,

13:58

and partially I think it's because

14:00

we're in an industry where work.

14:02

It is perceived at least by

14:05

a lot of people as fun.

14:07

Like, you know, in entertainment, you're

14:09

making things that are quote unquote

14:12

entertaining, even if the actual job

14:14

could sometimes be very difficult. But

14:16

I would also throw out, is

14:18

it so bad to just have,

14:21

like, if they're your friends and

14:23

you know each other through work,

14:25

I kind of think it's okay

14:28

to just lean into the thing

14:30

that you guys have in common.

14:32

And like, like, like, Unless, like,

14:34

I just don't think there's anything

14:37

wrong with talking about work, you

14:39

know, as long as you don't

14:41

hate your job or whatever, or,

14:44

but that's the reason you're there.

14:46

To me, it's a little bit,

14:48

like, you know, the, probably the

14:50

clearest example is I have poker

14:53

friends, who mostly I talk about

14:55

poker with, but, you know, people

14:57

have, like, my friends from the

15:00

baseball team, or my friends who,

15:02

fucking, whatever, and I just think

15:04

it's okay to be every type

15:06

of friend to you. Some people,

15:09

one person has to be every

15:11

type of friend to you. But

15:13

yeah, no, sorry. It's interesting. I

15:16

get the, like exactly what you're

15:18

saying Andrew, because we are lucky

15:20

to have fun jobs that we

15:22

enjoy and we work with people

15:25

that we like, it's very easy

15:27

to, you know, most of my

15:29

group texts are about work-related things

15:32

even if it is and stuff

15:34

or just general podcasting stuff. It's

15:36

a lot of podcasting chats. So

15:38

I'm a little bit of a

15:41

hypocrite to be like, talk about

15:43

other things and like my my

15:45

text messages definitely say the opposite.

15:48

But it's interesting though, because it

15:50

kind of feels like there's callers

15:52

in a situation where their coworkers

15:54

slash friends just keep talking about

15:57

work. I could be protecting. And

15:59

it's getting to the point where

16:01

it's like, can we not talk

16:04

about work all the time? But

16:06

I think that's a good opportunity

16:08

to be like, maybe these people

16:10

are not such good friends with

16:13

me. And that's okay. Yeah, maybe

16:15

they're more coworkers. Yeah, like I

16:17

think it's fine to just have

16:20

the appropriate interaction. Because it's also

16:22

like, sometimes like, especially when you're

16:24

with coworkers, like, you, When you

16:27

try to expand the friendship, that's

16:29

when you learn a bunch of

16:31

shit you don't want to know

16:33

that actually makes worse work or

16:36

work worse. Here's my litmus test.

16:38

Go to bar trivia with them.

16:40

If in between questions, they keep

16:43

being like, I can't get over

16:45

what Nancy said to the manager,

16:47

then it's time to be like,

16:49

okay, these are my, these are

16:52

more coworkers than they are of

16:54

friends. Yeah. Like how much of

16:56

every single time do you talk

16:59

to them? Is it? 95% about

17:01

work. And in a way that

17:03

it's like not fun. Like it's

17:05

genuinely distracting from the activity that

17:08

you're doing. That's my theory. Yeah.

17:10

I just think it's fine to

17:12

have coworkers who are I and

17:15

they don't have to be your

17:17

friends. Maybe that's it. That I

17:19

think is a thesis. It's like

17:21

not everyone, you know, it's okay

17:24

for people to have their place

17:26

and it's fine to just like,

17:28

like, Well, you know, your friend

17:31

groups that way or your associate

17:33

groups that way. Yeah. And if

17:35

you want to alter it. you

17:37

can just suggest other activities or

17:40

other things or invite them places

17:42

or you know you can always

17:44

alter it if you want if

17:47

you want but then also if

17:49

yeah if they don't like those

17:51

things that's okay too. What about

17:53

a left field suggestion which is

17:56

just start causing so much drama

17:58

at work that it becomes just

18:00

fun on its own you know

18:03

I am the one who knocks

18:05

just really Just, if it's not

18:07

the amount of work talk, but

18:09

the fact that work talk is

18:12

boring, I think it's incumbent upon

18:14

you to really spice up what

18:16

every day is like at work.

18:19

You know? Yeah, I like that

18:21

idea. Just start your own little

18:23

mini January 6th at your job.

18:25

Yeah. You, you try to, if

18:28

you overthrow your boss, I promise

18:30

you, if nothing else, work talk

18:32

is not going to be boring.

18:35

Whatever happens, people are going to

18:37

be like, holy shit, did you

18:39

hear? Fuck. Do you hear what

18:41

Sandy did? She went fucking crazy.

18:44

Yes, there's always detonate your career

18:46

in order to spice up your

18:48

friendships. For the group, yeah. If

18:51

you think it's boring. Yeah. You

18:53

know, or small versions of that.

18:55

Just, just little, little bits of.

18:57

fun and or office fun or

19:00

office terror for the next day.

19:02

What you need to do is

19:04

make yourself a little like novelty

19:07

coin that on one side of

19:09

it says office fun and the

19:11

other side says office terror and

19:13

you flip it before you walk

19:16

in you know sort of severance

19:18

style as you cross the threshold

19:20

into work and then you live

19:23

your life with office fun or

19:25

office terror for the next day.

19:27

And we have learned earlier today

19:29

if you're Andrew you will flip

19:32

office terror three times in a

19:34

row. Which is statistically possible. It's

19:36

fine. It's fine to flip. It's

19:39

fine to have office terror. times

19:41

it's not improbable for quite some

19:43

time. Yeah. Let's kick another voicemail.

19:45

Let's do it. Hey there, it's

19:48

a follow-up to Tony who often

19:50

says he don't speak Spanish in

19:52

the USA. I live in South

19:55

America for four years, so I

19:57

speak very college Spanish now, and

19:59

I'm just a real lingo, and

20:02

oftentimes they appreciate it greatly, especially

20:04

my state. Many of them don't

20:06

speak English. And I'm pretty much

20:08

always correct in Latin speaker because

20:11

I lived in a different state

20:13

of country. There were several years.

20:15

So I do find often when

20:18

she says that, I think she

20:20

should clarify that maybe that doesn't

20:22

apply to everybody. It's a little

20:24

bit condescending with the thing. You

20:27

know, practice your dual lingo. I

20:29

do find that many of them

20:31

appreciate it. And just when I'm

20:34

in these foreign countries, Oftentimes people

20:36

come up and speak English to

20:38

me, so I don't know if

20:40

I shouldn't be taking offense to

20:43

that. But I think you should

20:45

maybe examine your outlook on that.

20:47

I am, okay, just a little

20:50

behind the scenes. I'm having internet

20:52

difficulties, so I am with camera

20:54

off right now, and we're barely

20:56

hanging on as far as my

20:59

text set up, but I wanted

21:01

to see Tony's face during this.

21:03

fucking voicemail and I will also

21:06

just say I didn't name my

21:08

initial draft of naming this file

21:10

name was white man about to

21:12

be dead. No I mean honestly

21:15

my face was like my eyes

21:17

were shut tight because I was

21:19

trying so hard to hear it

21:22

because yeah caller thank you so

21:24

much for calling in from the

21:26

bottom of the sea. I really

21:28

appreciate your job as a free

21:31

diver. You took time away from

21:33

it to call in and basically

21:35

tell me I'm not like the

21:38

other whites. Yeah. But sounded like

21:40

he didn't take time away from

21:42

it. No, no. He just took

21:44

a brief pause down at the

21:47

bottom of the ocean. He took

21:49

a break from working at, what,

21:51

a Spongebob's restaurant, Crabby Patti Shack?

21:54

The Crab Shack? To call in

21:56

to say, I use Vosotros unironically.

21:58

Thank you so much for that.

22:00

No, I mean. Look, the common,

22:03

look, that's me being snarky. I'm

22:05

done, because I don't care enough

22:07

to be actually mad at you.

22:10

You're upset because you thought I

22:12

was talking to you when it

22:14

sounds like I wasn't talking to

22:16

you. It sounds like if you

22:19

speak Spanish and you know that

22:21

someone is a Spanish speaker and

22:23

you're fluent and you speak to

22:26

them in Spanish, that doesn't sound

22:28

like what I was talking about.

22:30

What I was talking about is

22:32

a woman assuming someone was a

22:35

Spanish speaker because of their facial

22:37

feature. She didn't even know where

22:39

these people were from. She didn't

22:42

know shit. She just assumed assumed

22:44

and then started... Not speaking a

22:46

fluent, not speaking Spanish with the

22:48

fluency that you seem to be

22:51

talking about. So this is one

22:53

of my classic refrains of, if

22:55

I ain't talking about you, I

22:58

ain't talking about you. Why are

23:00

you upset on behalf of what

23:02

you think, you think I'm attacking

23:04

you and I'm simply not? Yeah.

23:07

This is actually, I think, I

23:09

guess it's been a minute since

23:11

we did a classic yo is

23:14

this racist. This your reaction is

23:16

telling you telling us way more

23:18

about you than yeah, like the

23:21

thing is wonderful job caller good

23:23

job for speaking Spanish fluently. I

23:25

will also say with a tiny

23:27

asterisk that You know my my

23:30

experience with this is more with

23:32

white guys who speak Chinese, but

23:34

I know a lot of you

23:37

speak for a you know have

23:39

studied very hard lived in wherever

23:41

you're from speak it you know

23:43

speak the language quite well i

23:46

will just tell you and maybe

23:48

this guy's the exception but you're

23:50

not actually fluid People just say

23:53

you're fluid because you're very good

23:55

at it and you're not. That's

23:57

number one. Number two, the defensiveness

23:59

is really the crime here. Like

24:02

if you were actually cool you

24:04

would just let this like roll

24:06

off your back. So the defensiveness

24:09

is how we know that you're

24:11

not cool, not good. Yeah, I

24:13

don't know. I don't know if

24:15

you're cool or good, but like

24:18

you it's see it strikes me

24:20

that as a fluent Spanish speaker

24:22

who's lived in different places and

24:25

and sounds like they have a

24:27

worldly opinion It seems like you

24:29

you also understand how a version

24:31

like what that lady who called

24:34

in you you should understand that

24:36

it can also be done very

24:38

wrong that someone can be like,

24:41

Ola, Gracias, to a man who's

24:43

like, I am Italian, ma'am. So

24:45

it feels like you should be

24:47

able to understand that, of course,

24:50

there are very wrong ways to

24:52

do it. And maybe you're not

24:54

doing it wrong. I don't know

24:57

you. I'm not sitting with you

24:59

at restaurants. Maybe you're doing it

25:01

fine, but like the immediate defensiveness

25:03

of like... No, they appreciate it.

25:06

And when I, a white man,

25:08

go to Spanish-speaking countries and they

25:10

assume I speak English, I like

25:13

it. It's like, well, also, you're

25:15

not addressing the weirdo power dynamic

25:17

of being a brown person in

25:19

this country. So that's a weird

25:22

false equivalency that I think you

25:24

should know better than. That was

25:26

part two. Like, white people don't

25:29

get... to be offended. It's not

25:31

the same. Treating it like this

25:33

is the same is fucking crazy.

25:35

It's very different than I'm going

25:38

to chalk up to just you

25:40

gathering ammunition for your point because

25:42

you were feeling defensive because that's

25:45

what I'm hearing from this thing.

25:47

But I'm happy to examine my

25:49

point of view when it makes

25:51

logical sense and what makes logical

25:54

sense is I meant that what

25:56

makes logical sense is there is

25:58

a hundred percent a way to

26:01

do this bad and the the

26:03

the example that the caller called

26:05

in with sounded bad and I'm

26:07

sure that you've done it fine

26:10

and less fine in your life

26:12

but your immediate assumption that I'm

26:14

talking to you it maybe you

26:17

should examine that or needing your

26:19

like your exception to be like

26:21

pointed out also it's like what

26:23

the fuck are you talking about

26:26

man like you should be proud

26:28

of yourself that you're the outlier

26:30

you're the cool one you're the

26:33

good one and like just have

26:35

that moment of like she isn't

26:37

talking about me have that fucking

26:39

confidence okay I do this okay

26:42

I'm good Yeah. You need Tani

26:44

to add a bunch of asterisks

26:46

to her, like, her quip so

26:49

that you feel good. Not all

26:51

fluent Spanish-speaking white people is what

26:53

you want. Yeah. And I just

26:56

simply don't have the time. This

26:58

is, this show is free. And

27:00

yeah. It's only like 40 minutes.

27:02

So maybe you can just all

27:05

add your own, your own asterisks

27:07

in your head. The analogy I'm

27:09

making in my head is like

27:12

a stand-up comedian roasting someone in

27:14

the front row and then a

27:16

guy in the balcony stands up

27:18

and goes, I didn't say that.

27:21

Yeah. It's like, caller, you're so

27:23

close to being one of the

27:25

good ones and leaving this voicemail

27:28

is what keeps you out for

27:30

being one of the good ones.

27:32

Yeah, you could have just sat

27:34

there and ate your food, bro.

27:37

You could have been like, damn,

27:39

that guy sucks, that lady sucks.

27:41

Not me though. Not me though.

27:44

You know how many times, in

27:46

all seriousness, leaving this caller behind,

27:48

I'm done with him, you know

27:50

how many times I have seriously

27:53

been like, man, you know what,

27:55

like sometimes mixed people, we can

27:57

really get it wrong. Man, I

28:00

did okay. though. Oh man, that

28:02

was, that was all right. I

28:04

responded, okay, but man, sometimes light

28:06

skin. Yeah. We really be fucking

28:09

up. Or when a stand-up comedian

28:11

is like, light skin, girls, do

28:13

blah, blah, blah. And I'll go,

28:16

yeah. I didn't do that though.

28:18

That's nice. And I just have

28:20

a quiet moment to myself. Andrew,

28:22

when do you not all... Not

28:25

all yourself. When do you have

28:27

those quiet moments? Oh, not all

28:29

huge, know-and-all-all-dickheads are like that, but

28:32

I'm quiet this one time. That's

28:34

your protected class you identify. Yeah.

28:36

I mean, especially, again, with all

28:38

this poker I've been playing, I'm

28:41

lower on the broad mass of

28:43

Asian-Americans than ever before, because... A

28:45

lot of these these guys in

28:48

the poker room are fucking right-wing

28:50

dicks. And I am like, oh

28:52

yeah, Asian people do be like

28:54

this. Terrible. Yeah, man. I have,

28:57

man, sometimes women do be shopping,

28:59

but you know what? I can

29:01

look around and be like, kind

29:04

of not me though. Yeah. That's

29:06

such a dumb example. No, I

29:08

will say, you know, as far

29:10

as all the Asian American stereotype

29:13

stuff, I'm just like... Yeah, that

29:15

stuff is like, but see, this

29:17

is where the caller misunderstands power

29:20

dynamics. It's like, yeah, but those

29:22

are racist tropes that have been

29:24

like holding people back for, you

29:26

know, centuries in the specification American

29:29

case. The, you know, they're like,

29:31

should I be offended if people

29:33

speak English to me in when

29:36

I travel abroad? It's like what

29:38

in the fuck are you talking

29:40

about? Like if... Also, yeah, just

29:42

as a traveler too, like English

29:45

is, you know, because... of colonialism

29:47

and terrible reasons, English is just

29:49

a catch-all like, hey, when people

29:52

are sizing each other up in

29:54

random as parts of Europe, I've

29:56

been in Bosnia and everyone's just

29:58

kind of looking around like, we

30:01

don't know what anyone is, English?

30:03

And then someone like, yeah, because

30:05

the chances that everyone's got kind

30:08

of a working knowledge of English

30:10

are higher than especially a language

30:12

like Spanish like Spanish-speaking countries. That's

30:14

just a travel thing. To the

30:17

caller, they're not trying English on

30:19

you because you're white. It's because

30:21

you're clearly American. And I promise

30:24

you if you were fucking German,

30:26

they would not be trying it.

30:28

Yeah. Even, I will say this,

30:31

this was eye-opening to me when

30:33

I was in college. I lived

30:35

in, I did a semester in

30:37

Beijing. And the way, this was

30:40

my little. Fuckin' Asian American, you

30:42

know, sob story, I feel alienated

30:44

from everyone. The way Chinese people

30:47

instantly knew I was American was

30:49

so depressing to me. Like, and

30:51

literally, here was the criteria. Your

30:53

genes are too nice. They were

30:56

not that nice, but they were,

30:58

you know, just normal ass Levi's,

31:00

which was at the time I'm

31:03

old, hard to get in China.

31:05

You walk too confidently and you're

31:07

bigger than everyone else here. Damn,

31:09

that last one stings. That stings.

31:12

Like, they were just like. They

31:14

would yell at me in English

31:16

because I was with, it was

31:19

on a college program, so I

31:21

was with a lot of mostly

31:23

white people. They would yell at

31:25

me in English, tell your friends

31:28

to buy this. Whatever they were

31:30

selling. Tell your friends to buy

31:32

this. That's so funny. I was

31:35

just like, ah, so I don't

31:37

fit in anywhere. I'm visually, I'm

31:39

visually different everywhere on earth. And

31:41

it just took me a minute

31:44

because I was like fucking 19

31:46

or whatever, but I was a

31:48

little bit like, you know, in

31:51

China, I might, you know, my

31:53

Chinese is not going to be

31:55

great, but at least it's just

31:57

going to be like, when I'm

32:00

on the street, I'll just like

32:02

fit in. And the degree to

32:04

which I 1,000% did not fit

32:07

in was, it was depressing. pretend

32:09

you fit in. When I went

32:11

to Africa, I was like, oh,

32:13

cool. I can just like look

32:16

around and everybody's black and people

32:18

on the money are black and

32:20

people on the walls of the

32:23

bank that ran the bank, they're

32:25

black. That's cool. And then as

32:27

soon as I like talked or

32:29

interacted with anybody, then I was

32:32

like, oh, I'm different and you

32:34

know it right away. But it's

32:36

fun to just kind of silently

32:39

walk through a world where you

32:41

can pretend to belong. Yeah. And

32:43

you know what? It's also the

32:45

world is the way the world

32:48

is and hanging up, you know,

32:50

your mental health on what other

32:52

people think of you. Not great.

32:55

I didn't know that at the

32:57

time. That's true. So it was

32:59

really, it was more crushing than

33:01

it needed to be, I think,

33:04

but it really got me. I

33:06

was like, God damn it. And

33:08

then my like, and then my

33:11

like way too frank friend breaking

33:13

down the reasons was also not.

33:15

Not when I was able to

33:17

process when I was 19. It

33:20

was like, yeah, it was like

33:22

one of the, one of the,

33:24

one of the people leading the

33:27

class was like, I was like,

33:29

oh man, how'd they know? And

33:31

she was like, how did they

33:33

know? And she was like, how

33:36

did they know? And then this

33:38

is the three things I just

33:40

said, and I was like, all

33:43

right. Man, I was I was

33:45

in Paris once on a job

33:47

and the you know Paris is

33:50

now so Multicultural like it you

33:52

really can be anything and and

33:54

be from there or be living

33:56

there and the group of people

33:59

I was with, how do I

34:01

say this, the group of people

34:03

I was working with, I was

34:06

told by, yeah, my coworkers, because

34:08

I've had normal jobs, yes, my

34:10

coworkers all from New York and

34:12

we're all kind of like cool

34:15

New Yorkie girls, like what we

34:17

perceived to be like, you know,

34:19

cool. The French women that we

34:22

were working with there. said that

34:24

they could immediately tell we were

34:26

all American because none of our

34:28

shirts were properly tucked in. One

34:31

of the American girls, also this

34:33

was like mid-2000s, so this tells

34:35

you what time, you know, what

34:38

kind of fashion vibe was going

34:40

on then, but the girl literally

34:42

said, oh, it's a French tuck.

34:44

Are you, as boys, are you

34:47

familiar with this term? Mm-hmm. No,

34:49

I'm sorry. I've rocked it. So

34:51

a French tuck for a while,

34:54

I feel like it was like

34:56

a queer eye or like a

34:58

what-not-not-to-wear phenomenon that was like, don't

35:00

fully tuck in your shirt, just

35:03

like half-tuck in the front, let

35:05

me eat that kind of blouse,

35:07

yeah, kind of blouse, yeah. Oh,

35:10

I see. And they branded a

35:12

French tuck, like, that kind of

35:14

blouse, yeah. Oh, I see. And

35:16

they branded a French tuck-in or

35:19

don't, why would they. It was

35:21

so funny, they were like, why

35:23

on earth would they name it

35:26

this? It is sloppy. Yeah. Called

35:28

the freedom tuck now. Yeah. It

35:30

honestly should have been. That does

35:32

feel like want this. Yeah. Don't

35:35

associate this with us. Truly walking

35:37

into it to like, like just

35:39

take that to half a second

35:42

to be like. Wait, we call

35:44

it the French talk. Is this

35:46

gonna be a smart thing to

35:48

say to a fucking Parisian? Right,

35:51

who's literally like, where is your

35:53

belt? Why would you, why would

35:55

you not wear a belt with

35:58

those fans? We're like, sorry, you're

36:00

trash. All right. Lovely stuff. Well,

36:02

we don't know. There's better, we're

36:04

more. more or less at time.

36:07

There's been a lot of shit

36:09

that's going to get cut out

36:11

for technical difficulties. So this is

36:14

my fault for a short episode.

36:16

No, it's great. Thank you. Thank

36:18

you to one caller for their

36:20

call today. Three, two, three, nine,

36:23

seven, two, two, three. That's three,

36:25

three, three, and I'm raised. I

36:27

was just like, and look, I

36:30

know, I guess to me, it

36:32

is a little continually surprising given.

36:34

that people are like clearly new

36:36

to the show. I'm just like,

36:39

you, huh, all right dog. I

36:41

mean, look, hopefully, yeah, as annoyed

36:43

as I was by that caller,

36:46

like, you are pretty close. And

36:48

I do think you have it

36:50

in you to get good, but

36:52

my God, what a tone deaf,

36:55

you know, tone deaf voicemail. What's

36:57

happening, what's happening, man. You're so

36:59

close. You're so close to being

37:02

good, but you're not good. Okay.

37:04

That's my rant over. Sorry Andrew,

37:06

it's very funny with you off

37:08

camera, also just ranting into the

37:11

wind. It's really been tickly, yeah.

37:13

I will say, I think this

37:15

is just an overcompensation. I've been

37:18

talking with my hands with camera

37:20

off way more than I usually

37:22

do, I'm then catching myself, and

37:25

then sort of losing faith in

37:27

what's happening. But that's what's happening.

37:29

Okay, did I say the number

37:31

three, two, three, three, three, eight,

37:34

nine, seven, two, three, that's three,

37:36

Good? Peace? Bye!