0:04

Today on the You Can

0:06

Heal Your Life podcast, we're

0:08

excited to bring you a

0:10

powerful chapter from Seven Rules

0:12

of Self -Reliance by renowned

0:14

communications expert, Maha Abu -Linayn. In

0:16

this inspiring chapter, Maha explores

0:18

how self -reliance is rooted

0:21

in building confidence, fostering resourcefulness,

0:23

and recognizing your worth, while

0:25

understanding the importance of seeking

0:27

support when needed. Through captivating

0:29

personal stories, she highlights the

0:31

transformative power of trusting yourself,

0:33

embracing challenges, and taking decisive action,

0:35

even in the face of

0:37

the unknown. Discover how self

0:40

-reliance can become your ultimate

0:42

mindset for growth, resilience, and

0:44

empowerment. Ready to dive

0:46

deeper? Listen to the full audiobook

0:48

free with a trial of

0:50

Empower You Unlimited Audio. Start

0:52

your journey today at hayhouse.com/empower

0:55

you. Beware

0:59

of the little expenses. A small

1:01

leak will sink a great ship, quote

1:04

by Benjamin Franklin. When

1:07

I moved to Egypt from Minnesota in

1:09

1997, I didn't have any friends

1:11

or professional network around me. I

1:13

had to build it all from scratch. This,

1:16

coupled with the fact that at home I

1:18

was taken care of my mother, who was

1:20

fully disabled, suffering from multiple

1:22

sclerosis. Meant that I had to work twice

1:24

as hard to fit in, manage my

1:26

time, and build effective relationships. Then,

1:29

add that my Arabic was really

1:32

weak, and navigating the people, culture,

1:34

and nuances just magnified the learning

1:36

curve of my new life on a

1:38

whole new level. I was

1:40

constantly looking for ways to be a part

1:42

of the community, and I learned about the

1:44

AMCHAM, the American Chamber of Commerce, which

1:46

was a terrific way to meet

1:48

other professionals, engage with the local

1:50

business community to network, and forge

1:53

friendships. I joined AMCHAM and signed

1:55

up to be on the Women in

1:57

Business Committee, eventually becoming a

1:59

long -standing... active member of the

2:01

organization for years. I loved

2:03

being a part of Amcham Egypt.

2:05

In 2005, I signed up

2:07

for a program they offered called

2:10

the Doorknock Mission to the

2:12

United States, which takes CEOs from

2:14

Egypt to Washington, D .C. There,

2:16

you metaphorically knock on the

2:18

doors of U .S. administration, congressional

2:20

members, and think tanks. The goal

2:23

is to promote business in

2:25

Egypt and strengthen bilateral ties between

2:27

the two countries in core

2:29

areas, such as trade, investment, politics,

2:31

and economic development. Egypt

2:34

is the largest recipient of

2:36

USAID, the United States Agency for

2:38

International Development, and has several

2:40

bilateral agreements that are strategically important.

2:42

When I heard that they

2:44

were looking for CEOs from Egypt

2:47

to represent the mission, I

2:49

signed up. It was something I've

2:51

never done before, and I

2:53

didn't really know what I was

2:55

getting into. However, getting to

2:57

go to the White House, roam

2:59

the halls of Congress, and

3:02

meet cabinet -level officials not only

3:04

sounded interesting, but would also offer

3:06

me incredible access and learning.

3:08

Before we traveled to Washington, D

3:10

.C., the entire delegation of 35

3:12

people, which included only five

3:14

women, went to meet with the

3:16

different ministers in Egypt to

3:19

get briefed on things like the

3:21

country's economic and investment and

3:23

tourism agendas. This way, we'd have

3:25

the latest and greatest information

3:27

to share at the meetings that

3:29

the AMCAM arranged in the

3:31

United States. We met with Egypt's

3:34

Minister of Investment, the Minister

3:36

of Tourism, and the Minister of

3:38

International Cooperation, among others. As

3:41

part of the pre -travel briefing,

3:43

our last stop was to

3:45

meet the Prime Minister of Egypt.

3:47

The Prime Minister reports to

3:49

the President of the Republic and

3:51

convenes and leads a cabinet

3:53

of 34 ministers that run the

3:55

day -to -day operations of the

3:58

Egyptian government. The Cabinet of Ministers,

4:00

which the... Minister overseas is in

4:02

charge of setting up public

4:04

policies, preparing draft laws and decrees,

4:07

supervising the implementation laws,

4:09

and managing the overall

4:11

government budget. In other words,

4:13

he's a big deal. He

4:16

also happened to be the youngest serving

4:18

Prime Minister in Egypt's history. He

4:20

was progressive and was seen as

4:22

a reformer. I

4:24

had never been to any official government

4:26

office, and here I was in

4:28

the office of the Prime Minister. In

4:32

the United States, we don't have Prime Minister,

4:34

so I had no idea what to expect. The

4:37

cars pulled up through the massive iron

4:39

gate, and we walked up a

4:42

grand marble staircase adorned with carpet and

4:44

brass pillars. We entered

4:46

the grand foyer, where other

4:48

Prime Ministers, heads of state,

4:50

congressmen, and dignitaries arrived. There

4:53

was a large photo of

4:55

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak framed in

4:57

gold and tall gold

4:59

stands with green marble tops

5:01

holding ancient Egyptian granite

5:04

vases. The hallway was lined

5:06

with security and staffers ushering

5:08

us in. They led us

5:10

through the foyer into the conference

5:12

room, where the official cabinet meetings

5:14

convened. There were 34

5:16

large yellow chairs, one for

5:19

each Minister, the head

5:21

chair for the Prime Minister, and one

5:23

to his left for the Secretary General. There

5:26

were smaller chairs around the perimeter of

5:28

the room for staffers of each

5:30

Minister to sit behind them. The

5:33

stature and history of this room

5:35

hits you the minute you walk

5:37

in. It was grandiose and

5:39

ornate from the massive

5:41

glistening chandeliers hanging from the

5:43

ceiling to the details

5:45

of the gold carved into the

5:47

seams of the massive wood

5:50

conference table. I was in

5:52

awe. As I

5:54

took my seats in one of

5:56

those big leather chairs, I felt excited

5:58

and nervous. How did

6:00

I get here? This is so cool!

6:02

I was going to be in

6:04

a meeting with the Prime Minister and

6:07

be briefed by him. I was

6:09

excited to hear what he would tell

6:11

us. In front

6:13

of each seat at the

6:15

long table was a microphone,

6:17

notepad, leather mat, with the

6:19

Egyptian presidential seal and a

6:21

fancy pen. Sitting there I

6:23

felt both important and extremely

6:25

grateful. When Prime Minister Nazif

6:28

entered the hall everybody stood.

6:30

He asked us to be

6:32

seated and briefed us in

6:34

a very formal proceeding. He

6:36

went over his vision for

6:38

bilateral trade and investment between

6:40

the United States and Egypt

6:42

and his agenda to promote

6:44

Egypt is open for business

6:47

through economic reforms. He also

6:49

asked us some questions but

6:51

you didn't speak unless you

6:53

were called. I wasn't. Phew!

6:56

The Prime Minister then stood up and shook

6:58

everyone's hands and left the room. I

7:00

got to shake his hand. After the Prime

7:02

Minister left the room we all sat

7:05

down again. The Secretary General of the Cabinet

7:07

of Ministers, a role that's a bit

7:09

similar to the Chief of Staff for the

7:11

US President, addressed us. He stood up

7:13

to command the room and everyone's attention. Thank

7:16

you for coming today. If you

7:18

all exit through these doors security

7:20

will lead the way to retrieve

7:22

your phones and head to your

7:24

cars. Everyone is free to go

7:26

except Maha Abu El -Ain. We need

7:28

you to stay. Please go sit

7:30

in the salon. I

7:33

didn't even know the Secretary General

7:35

and now he's saying my name? Am

7:37

I in trouble? I thought my

7:39

heart was racing. Why is the Secretary

7:41

General telling me to stay here?

7:43

This can't be good. And I wasn't

7:45

the only one who is concerned.

7:48

Why do you have to stay behind?

7:50

What did you do? Some of

7:52

the others asked me. On top of

7:54

this, my Arabic was not great.

7:56

To say that I was freaking out

7:58

is an understatement. I watched everyone

8:00

else in the delegation gather their belongings

8:02

and leave one by one until

8:05

I was left alone. And the

8:07

secretary general walked over to me. My

8:10

stomach started to turn and my

8:12

heart started racing. Who am

8:14

I gonna call for help if it's

8:16

something bad? Would I

8:18

be able to think on my feet and

8:20

problem solve? Hey, I'm just

8:23

a member of a professional business network. What

8:25

could they want with me anyways? I

8:28

don't get sweaty palms, but suddenly

8:30

I was feeling very anxious

8:32

and I couldn't think straight. I

8:35

took deep breaths and waited minutes,

8:37

which felt like hours. And

8:39

then finally I asked a question. How

8:42

can I help? The prime

8:44

minister is going to Washington, D .C. And

8:46

it's the first time that they're sending

8:48

a prime minister, not the president, he said.

8:50

We understand that you've worked with Washington.

8:52

You have a lot of experience

8:55

and you're American. So we'd like you

8:57

to help him prepare for his trip. They

9:00

knew I had done various consulting projects

9:02

for the U .S. Under Secretary of

9:04

State for Public Diplomacy and Public

9:06

Affairs. And I knew my way around

9:08

Washington generally. Of

9:10

course, that sounds great. At

9:12

least that's what I said. I

9:14

was really thinking, why me? The

9:17

Ministry of Foreign Affairs is better equipped, no?

9:20

And they have a whole embassy in Washington,

9:22

D .C. I felt

9:24

that I didn't have what it took to do

9:26

this for a good reason. I'd

9:28

never done it before. What

9:30

makes them think I'm qualified to

9:32

do this was playing on

9:34

repeat in my head. What

9:36

if I fail? What if they don't like my

9:38

work? All I kept thinking

9:40

was how not to get banned and

9:42

to make sure I didn't mess up. And

9:45

I asked myself, would I get kicked out

9:47

of the country? Will they take

9:49

my passport? I obsessively

9:51

started to think about all the ways

9:53

this could go sideways if I wasn't

9:55

able to deliver. Oh

9:57

boy, Maha, what did you get

9:59

yourself? into. There is nobody who

10:01

can get through this but you."

10:03

This was a self-reliant moment. Come

10:05

with me, said the Secretary General.

10:07

Then we walked into a conference

10:09

room attached to his office, where

10:11

the table was covered in binders.

10:14

These will help you, he said.

10:16

Since the trip was less than

10:18

a month away, I knew I

10:20

had to get to work immediately.

10:22

Great, I'll take these home, I

10:24

said. I honestly had no idea

10:26

what I was supposed to do

10:28

and how I was going to

10:30

do it. I was just trying

10:32

to buy some time so I

10:34

can go home, study alone, and

10:36

regroup. I had to gather my

10:38

nerves off the floor. He shook

10:40

his head. These are classified documents.

10:42

They can't leave this room. He

10:44

said, you need to work here.

10:46

My heart sank. I was hoping

10:48

I could just get out of

10:51

there and regroup at home and

10:53

burn the midnight oil without them

10:55

seeing me sweat. Although I had

10:57

my own company to run, I

10:59

returned every day that week, sat

11:01

in the conference room by myself,

11:03

and went through the papers. I

11:05

put together a briefing document that

11:07

included the who's who in Washington,

11:09

some helpful lingo, and places the

11:11

Prime Minister should speak, among other

11:13

ideas. They also asked me to

11:15

write the speech the Prime Minister

11:17

would deliver in Washington. You know

11:19

that feeling you when you decide

11:21

you're going to clean out your

11:23

closet? and you start with fervor

11:26

and excitement, and then you can't

11:28

see the end of the tunnel

11:30

and you want to stop because

11:32

the piles are too big and

11:34

you undid too much to put

11:36

it back together. When they said

11:38

write a speech for the Prime

11:40

Minister, I was not only immediately

11:42

transported to that pile in the

11:44

closet mid-project, I felt like I

11:46

was buried under it and then

11:48

asked to look and sound smart.

11:50

I had to parse through papers,

11:52

learn the back history and context,

11:54

and then create a well-crafted narrative

11:56

that could capture, move, and influence

11:58

an audience. audience. It

12:01

was that lost on me that had

12:03

never written a speech for a

12:05

head of government, and I

12:07

don't write about public policy. Even

12:10

more challenging, I had seen the

12:12

Prime Minister from a distance

12:15

but had barely spoken to him. Shaking

12:17

his hand and saying hello, Your

12:19

Excellency, when he was rounding the

12:21

room, didn't really count. I

12:24

didn't know his tone, tenor,

12:26

language, and style. Again,

12:29

my first thought was, don't

12:31

they have people who can do this better

12:33

than me? Sure,

12:36

I had a moment of doubt about taking

12:38

on something I'd never done before, but

12:41

I still said yes. I

12:43

figured if they thought I was capable,

12:45

then why wouldn't I think I was

12:47

capable? I had to step up

12:49

and own it. I spent a

12:51

lot of time reading through those binders and trying

12:53

to find the words to put on a blank

12:55

page. I admit I

12:57

was stumped. Then

13:00

I had one breakthrough idea. It

13:02

was the only thing that I could come up

13:04

with, and it saved me. What

13:08

would I want to hear if I was

13:10

sitting in the audience? As

13:13

I put myself in the shoes of someone

13:15

in the audience, the words started

13:17

to flow. This was

13:19

a big test for me, but

13:21

I relied on my self -confidence to get

13:23

me through. I kept saying to

13:25

myself, if not me, who?

13:28

If not me, then who? To

13:31

reassure myself. The

13:33

answer was me. I could do

13:35

it. The shift of

13:37

visualizing myself in the audience was

13:39

the unlock I didn't know I

13:41

needed, and I want this idea to

13:43

help you. When you

13:45

think in terms of your audience,

13:47

instead of yourself, you're able

13:49

to get out of your own way. You

13:52

can also use this technique to

13:54

remove your own mental roadblocks. The

13:57

speech was such a success that the

13:59

Secretary General called me from Washington. You

14:02

did such a great job, he said. So

14:05

good that you need to write

14:07

the Prime Minister's speech at the closing of

14:09

the World Economic Forum in Jordan. That's

14:11

when he'll announce the regional World Economic

14:13

Forum meeting will take place in

14:15

Sharma Sheikh, Egypt next year. The

14:18

World Economic Forum is a global meeting

14:20

that takes place in Davos every year, where

14:23

world leaders in the private sector

14:25

convene to address key global and

14:27

regional challenges. Oh,

14:30

okay. I'm actually traveling to the forum

14:32

tomorrow, I said. Great.

14:35

You'll need to meet the Prime Minister when he arrives

14:37

and work on his speech. All

14:39

of a sudden, it went for me going as a

14:41

guest to attend a conference and network, to

14:43

going there to work. This meant

14:46

I had to pay attention to things that would

14:48

be relevant for his closing remarks. And

14:50

now I had to turn around a speech on

14:52

a dime. That was a new

14:54

kind of pressure. I mean, part of

14:56

me was very happy and relieved that

14:58

the Washington speech was a success because

15:00

I was proud of what I overcame

15:03

to deliver that speech. But could

15:05

I do it again? I

15:07

had more confidence this time, so I was

15:09

going to rely on that to carry

15:11

me forward. The next day, I

15:13

flew to Jordan and went to the first two days

15:15

of the event on my own. Then I

15:17

got a message that I was to meet the

15:19

Prime Minister at two o 'clock at the four

15:21

seasons on the third and final day. When

15:24

I got there, I was amazed to

15:26

see what happens when a foreign official

15:28

travels. Basically, they take

15:30

over a whole floor or wing

15:32

of a hotel and set up their

15:34

own remote operations. In one

15:36

hotel room, they had security people. A

15:38

second hotel room had rows of

15:40

TVs, printers, and computers. And a third

15:42

hotel room was turned into a

15:44

living room, which is where I waited.

15:47

After an hour, I was told the

15:49

Prime Minister had arrived. This was

15:52

actually obvious, without anyone saying

15:54

a word, because the change in

15:56

energy and frenzy of activity

15:58

made it clear he had— the building.

16:00

When the Prime Minister walked into

16:03

the room he came right

16:05

over to me. He's tall like NBA

16:07

player tall so he towered over

16:09

me. This combined with the fact

16:12

that he was ahead of

16:14

government was intimidating.

16:16

I got lucky when I wrote this

16:18

first speech for him I thought if

16:20

I mess it up this could be bad.

16:22

So you're the person who's been

16:25

writing my speeches he said

16:27

after glancing at my name

16:29

tag and looking me up and

16:31

down. It was clear he

16:33

wasn't expecting me to be so young.

16:35

You did a good job. Thank you,

16:38

Mr. Prime Minister. And this

16:40

is the next speech you wrote

16:42

for me, he said, waving a

16:44

stack of papers. Yes. Let's go

16:46

over it, he said. Then he just

16:49

sat down next to me on the

16:51

couch, telling me what he liked

16:53

and didn't like. I want this

16:55

in 10 minutes. Sweating. I ran to

16:57

my hotel room, which was on the

16:59

other side of the resort, opened my

17:02

laptop to make all the changes, and

17:04

raced back to hand the new speech

17:06

to the Prime Minister's staff on a

17:08

jump drive for them to print and

17:10

give to him. Two hours later, he

17:13

went on stage and recited the words

17:15

we had crafted together. I was really

17:17

proud of myself. That's two

17:19

speeches I nailed, and I felt

17:22

like I had won back-to-back championships.

17:24

I felt bolstered and validated.

17:27

I guess I'm a speech writer now. But

17:29

here's the lesson. When you need

17:31

to push beyond your perceived

17:33

limits, you can look inward

17:35

to find the answers. You'll

17:37

find skills, strengths, and abilities

17:40

you didn't even know you

17:42

had. Imagine what you can

17:44

uncover or discover if you bet

17:47

on yourself and say yes to

17:49

something you've never done before.

17:51

I could have just said

17:53

no. and insisted this wasn't

17:55

for me. But instead, I stayed

17:58

low and kept moving. The

18:00

answers presented themselves as

18:02

my experience unfolded. Yes,

18:04

I worked hard and applied myself, but

18:07

I also trusted myself to

18:09

find a solution. I practiced

18:11

self-reliance and it worked. Although

18:13

I was running my own company after

18:15

that trip, I became a

18:18

part of the Prime Minister's

18:20

team and official delegation as

18:22

a contractor, accompanying them on

18:24

state visits as his international

18:27

communications advisor. I was the only external

18:29

consultant traveling with this head

18:31

of government. The rest of the

18:33

people worked for the government. So gave me

18:36

a really unique perspective. I learned

18:38

about protocol and what goes on behind

18:40

the scenes between governments. It

18:42

was fascinating and educational.

18:44

And I had a front row seat to an

18:46

incredible experience. If you ever

18:48

watched the West Wing, the hit TV

18:51

show starring Roblo and Martin Sheen that

18:53

takes place at the White House, or

18:55

Designated Survivor, where Kiefer Sutherland becomes the

18:58

president after those in line before him

19:00

are killed, you'll get a behind-the-scenes

19:02

look at what happens in the

19:04

hallways and boardrooms in government.

19:06

I didn't realize how close these shows were

19:09

to reality until I got my own sneak

19:11

peek. There are staffers, security details,

19:13

schedulers, and press teams that

19:15

make things work and keep

19:17

things moving around the clock.

19:20

Each head of state has a,

19:22

quote, advanced team, which is in charge

19:24

of going to a location in advance

19:26

of the principal, i.e. the head

19:28

of state, to painstakingly plan and

19:31

think through every detail,

19:33

so that when the VIP arrives,

19:35

it's all in place and runs

19:37

smoothly. Where do the cars pull up?

19:39

Which door do they enter? Where is

19:41

the exit and backstage? Where are the

19:43

bathrooms? Where can you set up a

19:46

command center for on-site operations?

19:48

Advanced teams work on

19:50

everything from emergency situations

19:52

and evacuation procedures to who

19:54

stands where in a receiving line

19:57

and who sits where at a state

19:59

dinner. FYI. guest always sits to

20:01

the left of the host. My tenure

20:03

consulting for the Egyptian government, which

20:05

you can see was something I

20:08

just fell into, ended up being

20:10

an extraordinary experience and a true

20:12

privilege. I built so many

20:14

groundbreaking furs for them and myself.

20:17

I never thought I would propose ideas

20:19

that the Egyptian government would end

20:21

up accepting and implementing.

20:23

All I did was take out pages of the

20:25

US playbook and see if they would float.

20:28

Most of them did. And for that, I'm

20:30

really proud. My first suggestion was

20:32

to create a government website for

20:34

the Prime Minister's office, where they

20:36

could publish the minutes of the

20:38

cabinet meetings, cover news and events,

20:41

complete with videos and photos,

20:43

and demonstrate greater transparency

20:45

in sharing policies and progress for

20:48

the citizens of Egypt. Next, I

20:50

suggested they institute having spokespeople

20:52

across every ministry and encourage

20:54

them to host and broadcast

20:57

daily press briefings, similar to

20:59

those done by the U.S. State Department

21:01

and the White House. This proactive

21:03

communication strategy would build trust

21:06

with the public and raise

21:08

awareness. They loved the idea and

21:10

as a result hired and trained

21:12

spokespeople at every ministry and

21:14

created a briefing room in every

21:16

office. I was floored that this

21:18

was actually in motion. Wow! I'm a news

21:21

junkie and when I moved to Egypt

21:23

I was glued to MSMBC every day

21:25

to see the press briefings live from

21:27

Washington. Clearly all that TV watching

21:30

paid off. Although I thought I was pushing

21:32

boundaries, the Egyptian government was open

21:34

to all my suggestions and many

21:36

of which they still implement

21:39

today. And all of this started

21:41

by instinct. My idea to put

21:43

myself in the consumer shoes. This

21:45

story is a great example of

21:47

self-reliance. I built a new spoke

21:49

in my wheelhouse. A spoke that

21:52

I didn't even know existed. That I

21:54

didn't even know I was capable of.

21:56

And that bolstered my sense of

21:58

self-reliance and confidence. It also

22:00

highlights something I'll talk about later in rule

22:02

number two, which is that by creating

22:04

value for others, I actually created

22:06

value for myself. The reason

22:08

I share this story is that this

22:11

scenario is something many of you will

22:13

face, personally and professionally. This

22:15

is especially the case for entrepreneurs. You

22:17

will be asked to do something you think you

22:19

don't know how to do, and you need

22:22

to find the answers. And guess what? When

22:24

your back is up against the wall, you

22:26

will find a way. That is,

22:28

if you practice self -reliance. Self

22:32

-reliance means not waiting for others to give

22:34

you permission. What

22:37

I mean when I say self -reliance? The

22:39

bottom line is this. Entrepreneurs who

22:42

aren't self -reliant are more likely to

22:44

fail. They may not be able

22:46

to make tough decisions, solve problems, or take

22:48

risks that are necessary to succeed. So

22:51

what do I mean when I say self

22:53

-reliance? First, let me tell you what I

22:55

don't mean. Self -reliance

22:57

is not about going it alone. A

22:59

lot of people think, if I'm self -reliant, I

23:01

don't need anybody. But that's not what I

23:03

mean. The difference is knowing when

23:05

you need help and where to get it.

23:08

What are you lacking? How and

23:10

when can you leverage input, knowledge,

23:12

and resources? Self -reliance

23:14

is not about independence,

23:16

individualism, or isolation. And

23:19

it's certainly not about being selfish or

23:21

arrogant. It isn't about

23:23

adulting either. Adulting is having

23:25

the skills to live a grown -up

23:27

life and take responsibility for yourself. To

23:30

me, self -reliance is a mindset

23:32

where you look first inward to find

23:35

the answers and then go outward to

23:37

get help and seek support or build

23:39

your ideas. It's about

23:41

upskilling yourself and being resourceful.

23:43

And they go hand in hand. To

23:46

be resourceful, you must have skills

23:48

and to be valuable to others. It

23:51

ultimately means you need to dig deep to

23:53

use your personal strengths to create the life

23:55

you want. When a

23:57

self -reliant, you don't wait for someone else to

23:59

see. you or prepare you. It's

24:02

motivating and empowering because

24:04

you control your destiny. Once

24:06

you know what you're capable of,

24:08

you think bigger and bolder. Often,

24:11

we expect others to remove roadblocks and

24:13

solve problems for us. We expect them

24:15

to support us when, in fact, we

24:17

can support ourselves. When

24:20

I was hired to lead the communications department at

24:22

Google in the Middle East, nobody handed me

24:24

a blueprint. Initially, I thought,

24:26

you're the employer, you're supposed to tell me what

24:28

to do and how my career should look. But

24:31

working at Google was the ultimate masterclass

24:33

in expecting you to step up. Nobody

24:36

hands it to you. Just like they do

24:38

with all their employees, they said, that's not how

24:40

it works here. We give you

24:42

tools, resources, empowerment, and

24:45

OKRs, objectives and key results,

24:47

but you drive your career. You

24:50

tell us what you want and how you want to

24:52

spend your time. Googlers

24:54

are expected to ask for

24:56

lateral moves, promotions, and more

24:58

responsibility and to initiate projects or campaigns they

25:00

want to be a part of. I

25:02

had to reach out to schedule one -on -one meetings

25:05

with other people to learn about their jobs. Also,

25:08

Google has a policy called 20 %

25:10

time, where you can spend 20 %

25:12

of your time there working on

25:14

something you're passionate about. They

25:16

want employees to tell them who they are and

25:18

what they want. I actually

25:20

adopted something similar in my own

25:22

business. When we talk about setting

25:24

priorities, I tell my employees, you

25:27

drive your career and your day -to -day work

25:29

based on what your big goals are. You

25:31

are accountable for your time and your results. You

25:34

are empowered to set your priorities and

25:36

share with your manager for input

25:39

and support to help you prioritize. Having

25:42

the confidence to rely on yourself to figure

25:44

things out is a crucial part of

25:47

self -reliance. When I first started my

25:49

own business, I was asked to

25:51

help train public affairs officers, PAO's,

25:54

for U .S. embassies across the Middle

25:56

East on modern communications tools. PAO's

25:59

are the PR... officials that every

26:01

foreign embassy puts into place to handle

26:03

communications and public affairs. One night,

26:05

I was at dinner with a really

26:07

good friend. After explaining the project,

26:09

I said, I just don't know if

26:11

I can do it. She looked

26:13

at me quizzically. Go read your CV.

26:15

You need to remember who you

26:18

are and what you've done, she said.

26:21

It was a simple piece of

26:23

advice, but it was filled with

26:26

insight. Many of us spend time

26:28

thinking about what we haven't done

26:30

and what we haven't achieved and

26:32

who can blame us with social

26:34

media making us play the comparison

26:36

game 24 -7, but you're capable of

26:39

doing many, many things. You just

26:41

haven't been asked to do them

26:43

yet. This is why it's so

26:45

important to know your worth. Remind

26:47

yourself that you are educated, you

26:49

can learn new skills, and you

26:52

can offer fresh insight and a

26:54

unique perspective. Start focusing on what

26:56

you've done. Now more than ever,

26:58

we see the value of knowing

27:00

more than one thing and doing

27:03

more than one thing. It makes

27:05

us valuable to others. Having multiple

27:07

skills and interests gives you a

27:09

competitive advantage too. Last year, I

27:11

was approached to lead communications for

27:13

a newly created event taking place

27:16

at the annual climate change conference,

27:18

COP28 in Dubai, hosted by the

27:20

United Nations. The event was a

27:22

business and philanthropy climate forum on

27:24

the sidelines of COP28 designed to

27:27

engage global CEOs, business leaders, and

27:29

some of the biggest philanthropists on

27:31

the planet. While I'm generally aware

27:33

of key issues facing the climate,

27:35

it's not an industry I've ever

27:37

worked in before. I've worked in

27:40

consumer products, entertainment, tech, sports, food,

27:42

and the automotive industries, but never

27:44

climate change. So when I was

27:46

approached, I wondered if this was

27:48

something I could do. I wasn't

27:51

sure, but I approached it like

27:53

I do most things. I seek

27:55

to learn more, gain a better

27:57

understanding, and I trusted my ability

27:59

to study research to learn more. In the end,

28:01

I leaned into it, wrote a proposal,

28:03

and sent it to the potential client,

28:06

and he approved it. This was a

28:08

lesson I shared with my team. Someone

28:10

else may know more than you, but

28:12

that just means you're going to have

28:14

to work harder, at least twice as

28:16

hard, and focus to put yourself in

28:18

a position to win. I put in the

28:21

work to uncover another important finding,

28:23

what I don't know. Once I understood that,

28:25

I knew to assemble a team around

28:28

me to fill the gaps and deliver

28:30

the work. Asking for help is not

28:32

a sign of weakness. In fact, it's

28:34

a sign of strength. I reminded myself

28:36

that they came to me for a reason.

28:39

It wasn't because I was a

28:41

climate expert. It was because I'm

28:43

a communications expert. You also

28:45

must have self-awareness to

28:47

understand your attentions. My

28:50

intentions were to serve the mission.

28:52

not to come off as a climate guru.

28:54

How are you using self-awareness

28:56

to understand your intentions? Think

28:58

about it. What are some of

29:00

the things you want to do or achieve?

29:02

What is the gap between what you

29:05

want to do and what you're capable

29:07

of doing? Are you willing to

29:09

close the difference? Understanding your

29:11

intentions will help you figure out

29:13

what you need to rely on

29:15

yourself for. Let me repeat that because

29:18

it's important. If you understand

29:20

your intentions, you will know what

29:22

you need to rely on yourself for.

29:25

It helps you set goals. Personally,

29:27

I love challenging projects like cop 28.

29:29

I wanted to write a book. I

29:32

wanted to start my own company.

29:34

Other people may want more independence

29:36

to manage a team or

29:38

to have more flexibility in

29:40

their daily schedules. Understanding

29:43

your intentions also helps you figure

29:45

out what's it going to take

29:47

to achieve those goals. Why? because

29:49

you are the driver and

29:51

implementer. You are the only one that

29:53

can get things done for you. For

29:55

example, if I set a goal to

29:57

lose weight, I can't rely on any

30:00

else to go to the gym and eat healthy foods. In

30:02

order to achieve that goal, I

30:04

have to rely on myself to

30:06

move more, focus on nutrition, reduce

30:09

stress, and improve my sleep. This

30:11

involves respecting yourself and keeping

30:13

promises to yourself. If

30:16

I'm trying to reduce stress, it's important

30:18

for me to have a morning

30:20

routine that includes meditating, journaling, and writing

30:22

down what I'm grateful for. But

30:25

this is easier said than done, and

30:27

requires that I keep that promise to

30:29

myself. After all, no

30:31

one is going to say, did you write in

30:33

your gratitude journal today? Did you meditate? As

30:36

an entrepreneur, I've also made promises

30:39

to myself that I won't work

30:41

on promoting specific industries like alcohol

30:43

or tobacco. I also seek

30:45

to support independent small businesses

30:47

as my suppliers and vendors. That's

30:50

self -reliance. It's respecting

30:52

what I care about and not

30:54

compromising my values or needs. That

30:58

said, although we can have goals and

31:00

a plan to achieve them, the

31:02

definition of self -reliance also needs to

31:04

include the ability to adapt, evolve,

31:06

and build the resilience muscle. Five

31:09

years ago, we could have never imagined

31:11

what happened during the pandemic, being

31:13

on lockdown and not being able to get

31:15

our hair cut or even go to the

31:17

grocery store. We couldn't imagine holding meetings from

31:20

home on our computer screen, but we survived. We

31:23

learned to do things that seem hard at the

31:25

time, but we invested in ourselves. We

31:27

evolved with time. In fact, we

31:29

got better. It's like lifting

31:31

weights. It doesn't get easier to

31:34

lift those weights, but you get stronger.

31:36

Even small things like learning how to change

31:38

a tire, how to cook a meal for

31:41

somebody is empowering. It seems

31:43

so overwhelming before you do it, but

31:45

the confidence that comes once

31:47

you master it is unparalleled. And

31:50

there's a snowball effect. Conquering

31:52

one goal of self -reliance makes you

31:54

feel better about yourself, so then

31:56

you master another and then another. The

31:58

more you do this, the more you get rid of

32:00

the fear of failure that so many of us

32:03

live with. For example, a lot of people

32:05

want the freedom of being an

32:07

entrepreneur and the ability to control

32:10

what they do with their days. However, the

32:12

number one reason why they don't start

32:14

a business is they are afraid to

32:16

fail. They want the security of

32:18

a regular paycheck and benefits

32:20

because that feels safer than relying

32:22

on themselves, even though they hate their

32:24

day jobs. But if you trust yourself to

32:26

create value for other people, and

32:28

understand your relationship with

32:31

failure, you can take time to learn new

32:33

things. We don't want to fail because

32:35

we think that we don't have time

32:37

to recover, to lose money, to embarrass

32:40

ourselves in front of people. But you do

32:42

have time to figure things out. In

32:44

fact, you don't have time not to. When

32:46

a friend of mine said she didn't have

32:49

the time to meditate, her meditation teacher

32:51

told her that if you meditate, even

32:53

for five or 10 minutes, it actually

32:55

opens up more time in your day,

32:58

because you're calmer and can think more

33:00

clearly. As a result, you're more productive

33:02

and creative, so the benefits of

33:05

that five or ten minutes actually

33:07

multiplies. Years ago, we used to think

33:09

that we should sleep less and work more.

33:11

In the 1990s, it was almost a badge

33:13

of honor to talk about how little you

33:16

slept. Executives and politicians bragged about

33:18

getting just three or four hours of shut

33:20

eye. But now there's a lot of science

33:22

to say that this can be

33:24

detrimental to our productivity to our

33:27

productivity. focus in brain power and

33:29

health. Studies have found that

33:31

sleep deprivation can contribute

33:33

to cardiovascular disease, obesity,

33:36

poor mental health, dementia,

33:38

and Alzheimer's, among other

33:40

conditions. In fact, Margaret Thatcher,

33:42

who had dementia and Ronald

33:44

Reagan, who had Alzheimer's, disease

33:47

both boasted about how little

33:49

sleep they got. Taking the time

33:51

to snooze means the hours you're

33:53

awake are so much more meaningful

33:55

and fruitful. So now that you

33:57

know why self-reliance is so important,

33:59

this book will show you how to master

34:01

it. Mastering self-reliance is related

34:04

to two other important

34:06

concepts, your self-confidence and

34:08

self-worth. If you're self-confident and

34:10

have strong sense of

34:12

self-worth, being self-reliance becomes easier

34:15

to master and easier to

34:17

practice. Because if we believe

34:19

in ourselves and feel worthy, we

34:21

trust ourselves more and that builds

34:23

confidence. If we are waiting for other

34:25

people to validate us and accept

34:28

us, We're giving our power, our futures,

34:30

and our happiness to others. When

34:32

we decide that we don't need

34:34

to rely on others for anything,

34:36

the pressure is automatically

34:38

removed. And when the pressure is

34:41

gone, you start to see

34:43

opportunities everywhere, and they have

34:45

the chance to come in. Modern life

34:47

in social media have affected

34:49

our ability, or lack thereof,

34:51

to genuinely believe in

34:54

ourselves. We live in a world

34:56

where everyone is comparing themselves to

34:58

others, even though everyone's on a

35:01

different journey and path. Modern

35:03

life is fast-paced and sometimes

35:05

seems unrelenting in how

35:07

much effort is required to stay ahead.

35:09

That is why I'm focusing on the

35:11

concept of self-reliance. Slow

35:13

down, build your skills, invest in

35:15

yourself, and work on what you

35:17

value most, not what others value.

35:20

By leveraging your self-confidence,

35:22

truly believing in yourself. and

35:24

engaging in positive self-talk

35:27

instead of negative self-talk,

35:29

you will recognize your worth and

35:31

the value you bring to others. This

35:33

will help you trust and rely on

35:36

yourself more. How can you expect

35:38

someone else to believe in you

35:40

if you don't believe in yourself?

35:42

I genuinely believe it's that

35:44

simple. We often wait for

35:46

permission from others when in fact

35:48

it's already within us. Five

35:51

characteristics that are inherent

35:54

in self-reliance. I believe there

35:56

are five major characteristics that

35:58

define the backbone of self -reliant

36:00

entrepreneurs. Number one,

36:03

initiative and innovation. Entrepreneurs

36:05

need to take the initiative

36:08

to turn their ideas into reality.

36:11

Being self -reliant enables you to

36:13

identify opportunities, create solutions

36:15

and innovate without waiting for

36:17

external validation or guidance. So

36:20

much of how we operate stands from

36:22

waiting around for others to validate us

36:24

or fearing judgment. When the going

36:26

get tough, a self -reliant entrepreneur

36:29

thinks through alternative game plans.

36:31

Sometimes we are focused to take

36:33

initiatives to keep our business

36:35

alive or moving. With

36:37

my own company, I discovered that

36:39

our P &L wasn't healthy enough. It

36:42

was time to tighten our belts. First,

36:45

I cut costs such as all non

36:47

-billable travel and any expenses that tend

36:49

to add up like client dinners

36:51

or subscriptions. Next,

36:53

it was time to innovate. How could

36:56

I boost revenue without increasing our prices,

36:58

charging our existing clients more or

37:00

adding staff to our overhead

37:02

and payroll? This is

37:04

when I thought about how much my clients

37:06

learn from my workshops. I love

37:09

teaching my master classes on how to

37:11

build your personal brand or how to communicate

37:13

with confidence when speaking to the media. Some

37:16

of the best feedback I've gotten is

37:18

that my teaching style makes these

37:20

concepts easy to understand and approachable. Why

37:23

not offer these workshops to the public

37:25

instead of just my clients? I

37:28

could teach them online using existing

37:30

materials. This meant no extra

37:32

cost for me but big value for

37:34

those who take them. So

37:36

I spent a month tailoring my

37:38

materials to this new audience, shooting

37:40

additional videos, updating my website and

37:43

promoting this offering on my social

37:45

media. Once the courses

37:47

went live, one -to -one sessions over

37:49

Zoom, they started to generate a

37:51

fresh, steady stream of revenue every

37:53

month. Finding a way

37:55

to take initiative and innovate is

37:57

a core self -reliant behavior. Number

38:01

two, adaptability and

38:03

agility. Taking

38:05

initiative and innovating goes hand -in

38:07

-hand with another key quality of

38:09

self -reliant entrepreneurs. Adaptability and agility.

38:12

As an entrepreneur, challenges will

38:14

come your way, and you just

38:16

have to rely on yourself

38:18

to quickly figure out how to

38:20

adapt, adjust, and pivot. A

38:23

few years ago, we had a

38:25

client who wasn't forthcoming when briefing

38:27

us about their business. It was

38:29

like pulling teeth to get information

38:32

that was critical to our storytelling.

38:34

After all, how could we help

38:36

them create a strategy to communicate

38:38

better without this unique insight? This

38:40

had never happened before, so my

38:42

frustrated team and I brainstormed on

38:44

how we can get the data

38:47

we required when they weren't being

38:49

very helpful. First, we had to

38:51

make this a low -lift ask

38:53

for the client. Second, we had

38:55

to adapt to their style. We

38:57

created a questionnaire that they could

38:59

share with the partners we needed

39:01

to collect information from. All they

39:04

had to do was pass it

39:06

along. Not only did we get

39:08

exactly what we needed, but we

39:10

also received it from all the

39:12

groups in the same format, which

39:14

made our job easier. An adaptable

39:16

and agile entrepreneur relies on data

39:18

and insights to guide their decisions. Number

39:22

three, decision -making. Owning your own

39:24

business means you are constantly

39:26

making decisions that impact the trajectory

39:28

of your company from hiring

39:30

and people operations to supply chain

39:32

and business -to -business relationships. Often,

39:34

leaders have to make high -stakes

39:36

decisions that ultimately drive the strategic

39:38

and financial direction of their

39:40

success. Sometimes, there is no time

39:42

to consult anyone or get

39:44

more information, so you need to

39:46

make the tough calls. This

39:49

is when it's a must to

39:51

trust your instincts and listen

39:53

to your gut. Two things that

39:55

take courage. The

39:57

hardest decision I face is whether decision. Either

39:59

I should bring on new talent when I'm

40:01

in the process of pitching new business. It's

40:04

like a chicken or egg dilemma that

40:06

many entrepreneurs deal with. Should

40:08

you hire people and have them sit on your payroll

40:10

before you have the business to cover the costs? Or

40:13

do you get the new business first and

40:15

then add talent to your team? The

40:17

problem with the latter is timing. What

40:20

if I win an account and a client wants

40:22

me to start ASAP but I don't have the right

40:24

team in place? Because the recruiting

40:26

process takes a long time, I'm

40:28

always looking for and talking to

40:30

talent. That way, I know what skills

40:32

are in the market that can add value to

40:34

my needs and those of my clients. In

40:37

the event that I win a piece of business,

40:39

I am then in a better position to

40:41

move quickly, offer them a job and unborn them.

40:44

Being self -reliant allows entrepreneurs to

40:46

trust their decisions based on their

40:48

own judgment, instincts, and vision

40:51

for their company. Number

40:53

four, leadership. The

40:55

entrepreneurial journey is often described as

40:58

a roller coaster thanks to

41:00

ups and downs, twists and turns.

41:02

It requires leadership sprinkled with

41:04

grit and resilience because as a

41:06

business owner, you wear so many hats. Entrepreneurs

41:09

often lead small teams and

41:11

manage everything from people to

41:13

resources, all while dealing with

41:15

setbacks and challenges. For

41:18

example, I'm the head of HR, the head

41:20

of finance, the head of business development,

41:22

and the head of content for my brand.

41:24

I also lead and manage my team

41:26

and clients. I'll never forget the

41:28

first day of work when I started my

41:31

company in Cairo. I was

41:33

leading a company and I had no idea

41:35

how to do it. Was this

41:37

imposter syndrome? Yes, but back

41:39

in 2004, that wasn't

41:41

even a mainstream term. I

41:44

knew how to do communications, write strategies

41:46

and give counsel, but running a

41:48

business was a whole different game. That

41:50

included managing people, finances,

41:53

legal, administrative, tax reporting,

41:55

labor laws. I didn't

41:57

even know what I didn't know until I

41:59

was in the throws of it. I sat at my

42:01

desk for the first time and opened

42:04

my laptop while my team worked outside

42:06

my office. This overwhelming feeling

42:08

rushed over me. I was the boss and

42:10

they were going to come in and

42:13

ask me questions and expect me

42:15

to know the answers. I remember

42:17

going to ask my boss questions when

42:19

I needed help. Now I was the

42:21

boss and they were going to come

42:23

to me and ask me questions. What

42:25

if I didn't know the answers? I

42:27

was nervous. But it turned out that

42:29

I actually knew the answers. And when

42:31

I didn't, we solved them together through

42:33

collaboration. When you work across the

42:36

business like this, self-reliance will give

42:38

you confidence in your abilities, and

42:40

this is essential for gaining trust

42:42

of clients, stakeholders, investors, partners in

42:45

your team. It's also crucial when

42:47

you have to make tough calls

42:49

internally, provide feedback to your team,

42:51

inspire your employees, and foster a

42:54

proactive problem-solving culture. The confidence

42:56

that comes from self-reliance also

42:58

helps you hire the right people.

43:00

Over time, it became clear to

43:02

me that once you find the

43:04

right person, the winning formula centers

43:07

around training and trust. Training

43:09

is essential to get them

43:11

to understand the rhythm of your

43:13

business and excel on their own, and

43:15

then you must trust them to find

43:17

their way, bring their own experience

43:19

and shine. In other words, you're

43:22

teaching them to be self-reliant,

43:24

too. Lastly, it's crucial in today's

43:26

world to continuously sharpen your

43:28

saw. Successful entrepreneurs embrace a

43:30

growth mindset and constantly seek ways

43:32

to learn and improve. They know that

43:35

educating themselves is one of the

43:37

best investments they can make.

43:39

Self-reliance encourages them to take ownership

43:41

of this learning and development and have

43:43

an open mind about what they don't

43:46

know, all of which drives long-term growth.

43:48

As a big believer in lifelong

43:50

learning, I'm always assessing my

43:53

progress and self-reflecting. For me, that's

43:55

the key to growth. I like to celebrate

43:57

wins, take note of where I've improved...

44:00

improved my ability to be self -reliant

44:02

and identify areas that still need

44:04

improvement. For example, I flew to

44:06

London to take a course designed

44:08

for executives already in the workforce

44:10

called Finance for Non -Finance Executives

44:12

that was offered at the London

44:14

Business School. Why? Because

44:16

I will celebrate 20 years of having

44:18

my own company and I still

44:20

don't feel I'm financially literate. I

44:22

want to be better at it and have more

44:24

confidence with numbers. Nobody is

44:26

going to teach me and I don't have

44:28

the patience to sit and watch YouTube videos. I

44:31

need a focused and applied learning. So

44:33

back to school I went. Be

44:36

curious and be open to learning

44:38

new things. Are you willing to

44:40

acquire new knowledge to keep you prepared

44:42

for different situations? Having

44:44

a growth mindset will get you there. Cheat

44:48

sheet. Five characteristics that

44:50

are inherent in self -reliance.

44:53

Initiative and innovation. Agility

44:56

and adaptability. Decision

44:58

making. Leadership. Growth

45:01

mindset. Chapter

45:04

takeaway, what is self -reliance?

45:07

Self -reliance equals self -confidence plus

45:09

self -worth plus believing yourself plus equipping

45:11

yourself with tools to be your

45:13

own power. Self

45:16

-reliance is about being resourceful. Self

45:19

-reliance is not about going it alone and shutting

45:21

out the world. In fact, it's the opposite. It's

45:24

about leveraging the power of yourself and others

45:26

to own your future. Self

45:29

-reliance is the act of not waiting

45:31

for external validation to green light what's

45:33

best for you, trusting yourself to

45:35

know what's best and right for you. Self

45:38

-reliance is a mindset where you first

45:40

look inward to find answers and

45:42

then go outward to get help and

45:44

seek support. Self -reliance is about having

45:46

the awareness to be honest about

45:48

what you can and can't do or

45:51

where you can and can't grow. Self

45:54

-reliance is digging deep to use your

45:56

personal strengths to create the life

45:58

you want. Self

46:00

-reliance is not waiting for someone

46:02

else to save you or prepare

46:04

you. You control your destiny Self

46:07

-reliance is having the confidence to rely

46:09

on yourself to figure things out Self

46:12

-reliance is knowing your worth Self

46:15

-reliance is trusting yourself to create

46:17

value for others Self

46:20

-reliance is understanding your intentions and

46:22

setting your goals to achieve them Self

46:25

-reliance is respecting yourself and

46:27

keeping promises to yourself Self

46:30

-reliance is having the ability to

46:32

adapt, devolve and build the resilience

46:34

muscle Self -reliance is

46:36

understanding your relationship with

46:38

failure What

46:41

self -reliance is not? Going

46:44

it alone Independence, individualism

46:46

or isolation Being

46:48

selfish or arrogant,

46:50

adulting At the

46:52

end of each chapter, I have reflection

46:54

exercises and in this chapter we

46:57

have three the first Focus

46:59

on learning one thing that you didn't

47:01

know yesterday This can be something simple

47:03

like reading five articles about AI

47:05

or learning to use a new app

47:08

Why not google the information about gen alpha

47:10

or gen beta to learn what they are

47:12

all about Or take the first

47:14

step to learn a new skill

47:16

by researching classes on that topic Reflection

47:20

exercise number two

47:22

Set up a meeting with someone

47:24

and ask them how they rely

47:27

on themselves You will be surprised at what

47:29

you can learn from others Reflection

47:32

exercise number three ask

47:34

yourself what your barriers

47:36

are to self -reliance What's

47:38

missing? Is it knowledge? Time?

47:42

Resources is that you

47:44

don't trust yourself. Are you afraid

47:46

of the consequences? Are you unsure

47:48

of where to go to get

47:50

the answers? You