0:00

Yeah, let's clap on three. Okay,

0:02

one, oh God, okay, three, two, one.

0:04

You said on three, and then

0:06

you did three, two, one. Just,

0:08

I just need you to know that

0:10

you did that. Not everyone

0:12

does this regularly. We all

0:15

have skills that we bring

0:17

to this production. Yeah, that's

0:19

true. It is a five-man

0:22

operation. Hello,

0:36

and welcome to You Can't Do

0:39

That, a podcast about hockey, or

0:41

So They Tell Me. I am

0:43

producer Danielle, and I'm producer Laura.

0:45

And today we will be taking

0:47

a leisurely stroll down memory lane.

0:50

Memer lane? Memer lane? Memer lane?

0:52

Memer lane. It has officially been

0:54

seven years since we started this

0:56

podcast. That's crazy town. That's the

0:58

same age as my students. That's

1:00

just crazy town. That's 200 episodes

1:03

of whatever the hell it is

1:05

that we do here. And since

1:07

everyone involved has notoriously terrible memories,

1:09

we thought it would be fun

1:12

to go back into the archive

1:14

and pull some of our best

1:16

moments and then quiz our hosts

1:18

about what actually went down. And

1:21

then we also got some suggestions

1:23

from our patron supporters about memories

1:25

we wanted to revisit. So. Are

1:27

you guys ready? No. I'm so

1:30

freaking excited. It's going to be

1:32

hell. I love it. I can't

1:34

wait. Great. Can't wait to find

1:37

out what we said. I, yeah,

1:39

well, I'm going to start with

1:41

a game called Who Said That?

1:43

Oh my God. And feel free

1:46

to read that as like the

1:48

Real Housewives of Atlanta like, who

1:50

said that? Honestly all but one

1:52

of these, you would have no

1:55

idea that this. That's our brand

1:57

though to be fair. Very much

1:59

so. What are we talking about

2:01

ever? No one saying PDO is

2:03

what we're saying. So I'm going

2:05

to ask you who said that

2:07

and also what the context was

2:09

for it, which I doubt that

2:11

you'll be able to, for most

2:13

of these, I doubt you'll be

2:15

able to remember. It's not a

2:17

chance. So the first quote that

2:20

I have is from episode 108,

2:22

and the quote is actually the

2:24

same as the same as the

2:26

title. Horse girls are face blind.

2:28

This was published February 23rd 2021.

2:30

I'm gonna guess that Kelly said

2:32

that. as our resident horse girl?

2:34

I don't think so. I rarely

2:36

if ever have the title. I

2:38

think it was rave. I like

2:40

that you keep track. Well I

2:43

just notice that I don't because

2:45

I'm not super quippy, which is

2:47

fine. We all have our skills.

2:49

I think it's going to be

2:51

Eva. I love this because we've

2:53

spread it out so one of

2:55

us has to be right, which

2:58

is a good strategy pointing fingers

3:00

in all directions. This is actually

3:02

us versus the producers. What do

3:04

you think the context was for

3:06

this? I think the context was

3:08

about Brock Besser. I don't know

3:10

why. No, I do know why.

3:13

It's because our test audio club

3:15

was about Broad Besser. So that's

3:17

wrong. I take that back. Maybe

3:19

it's about E.J. notorious horse world.

3:21

Oh, that's true. That was kind

3:23

of what I was thinking. And

3:25

Gabriel Landisog involved somehow. Okay, I

3:28

like that. EJ. Understand a Gape

3:30

handsomeness? I don't think we've ever

3:32

discussed this because they do actually

3:34

think that AJ is deeply affected

3:36

by Gape's handsomeness. Oh, yeah. Oh,

3:38

yeah. Obviously. There's a lot to

3:40

unpack there. We'll say that for

3:43

later. Fertile. Hush-tertile. Huh. Wasn't there

3:45

a time that E.J. was like,

3:47

oh, you're the good-looking one? Oh,

3:49

yes. Yes. When they were like,

3:51

which of us is going to

3:53

go on The Bachelor? I'm the

3:55

poor man's you. Oh my God.

3:58

Staggering. Staggering. Go to therapy. Incredible.

4:00

Okay, I'm going to play this

4:02

clip for you. Your minds are

4:04

going to be blown. my god.

4:06

But it was so cute, they

4:08

did the little videos, it got

4:10

teary-eyed, and then like everyone is

4:13

posting cute shit on Instagram obviously.

4:15

And I want to say also

4:17

Chris Littanks was very romantic. Congratulations

4:19

again and the most important thing

4:21

is I got a friend and

4:23

you're going to be my friend

4:25

forever. I can't really remember his

4:28

phrasing but he was very very

4:30

sweet and romantic. I'm just I'm

4:32

not like other girls. It's just

4:34

don't get along with them. I'm

4:36

just like a guy's girl. You

4:38

know, I'm just like, I'm just

4:40

a guy's girl, but he finally

4:43

met another girl that he can

4:45

hang with and he it's changed

4:47

his life. Because Sydney's a horse

4:49

girl and horse girls are face

4:51

blind. So that was those videos

4:53

you were referencing were in honor

4:55

of Cindy Crosby's thousandth game and

4:58

this is also the episode where

5:00

rave debuted the enemy song so

5:02

if you want to go back

5:04

episode 108 where girls are face

5:06

blind it's the first time she

5:08

sang that song. I think I'm

5:10

coming around on John Carlson, the

5:13

worst he gets, and the more

5:15

people realize that he sucks, the

5:17

less fun it is for me.

5:19

You're going to do a U-turn

5:21

on that and be like, actually,

5:23

he's the best worst man that

5:25

I've ever had. Whenever we talked

5:28

about, you know, the enemy episode,

5:30

yeah, that makes me think about

5:32

that, about how all of us

5:34

have come around on our enemies.

5:36

And that's growth. That's gross, kind

5:38

of. Are our enemies not a

5:40

projection of ourselves of ourselves. It's

5:43

true. It's true. It's true. We

5:45

should revisit that for sure. We

5:47

should. Okay, moving on to the

5:49

next one. This one is from

5:51

episode 180. The episode was titled

5:53

Revolutionary Allyship and it was published

5:55

on Halloween in 2023 and the

5:58

quote goes, in a fairer world,

6:00

Tyler Sagan would be able to

6:02

go to the med spot as

6:04

much as he wanted without fear

6:06

of reprisal. Who said that? And

6:08

what were they talking about? I

6:10

mean, they were talking about how

6:13

Tyler Sagan should be able to

6:15

go to the med spot without

6:17

cure for me. First of all,

6:19

I feel it's pretty self-obvious. Yeah.

6:21

Yeah, that is a truth. That's

6:23

like an American truth. So apropos

6:25

of nothing, someone said this. Yeah.

6:28

Visualizing a utopia. They needed no

6:30

reason. to speak the truth. We

6:32

hold this truth to be self-evident

6:34

you know, Tyler Sagan. Would it

6:36

be about why he was traded

6:38

from Boston there were not enough?

6:40

Too many Duncan's not enough. No.

6:43

Well, it might help to figure

6:45

out who said it. It could

6:47

have been me. Maybe. I was

6:49

also going to say Eva because

6:51

eventually I'll be right. Yeah, I

6:53

think this is, I think this

6:55

is Eva. Maybe. It does in

6:58

a fairer world does sound like

7:00

something an autistic bitch would say.

7:02

So it's got to be one

7:04

of us and I don't think

7:06

it would necessarily be me, but

7:08

I've been wrong about that. All

7:10

right, I'll roll the dice on

7:13

myself. Okay, we're going to go

7:15

with Eva in the context. Was

7:17

it when he was looking like

7:19

so rung out, just like put

7:21

away wet? There was like a

7:23

phase a couple years ago where

7:25

he was just as... slutty as

7:28

he had been in decades and

7:30

we were like he needs to

7:32

be rehydrated. Do you think it

7:34

has to do with a Halloween

7:36

costume? You were playing a game.

7:38

We were playing a game. We

7:40

played a lot of games to

7:43

any other. I'm gonna play it.

7:45

I'm gonna play it. I can't

7:47

wait to find out. This is

7:49

Swelligant Francesca Fox. This is a

7:51

very sultry fox with a kind

7:53

of sticky outy outy hair. Elegant

7:55

but also swell. Swelligan Francesca Fox,

7:58

she has bonkers fake eyelashes. Dallas

8:00

stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stars.

8:02

That's so correct. I love it.

8:04

Oh, wow. If you were socially

8:06

accessible, you know Tyler Sagan would

8:08

go to a last technician every

8:10

week, just add a little, little

8:13

quarter, you know, quarter millimeter, just

8:15

a little bit more every week.

8:17

I think, been in a fair

8:19

world. Tyler Sagan would be able

8:21

to go to the MedSpas as

8:23

much as he wanted without fear

8:25

of reprisal. I want to see

8:28

an edit of him holding up

8:30

his little phone to the security

8:32

guard and smiling, but it's swelling

8:34

at Jessica Fox. Yes. Oh God.

8:36

I forgot about the freaking jellycads.

8:38

Completely forgot about the jellycads. I'm

8:40

learning so far from these two

8:43

rounds is that we're right all

8:45

the time about it. Yeah, right.

8:47

Which I have not forgotten. It's

8:49

good to get the evidence. I

8:51

was like, maybe I won't stand

8:53

by my opinions, but no, I

8:55

stand by all of this. So

8:58

far. Turns out, we were so

9:00

correct. God, we should be able

9:02

to have like a nice slash

9:04

lift and tent. Let him. Be

9:06

free. Who's to say he doesn't

9:08

have one though? He probably. But

9:10

here's the thing, is he also

9:13

would have made some poor choices

9:15

at different times, and so maybe

9:17

it's probably good because the filler

9:19

hasn't aged, you know. Oh, the

9:21

filler, oh. Overwaxed his eyebrows at

9:23

one point. Oh, yes. So bad.

9:25

So bad. So bad. So bad.

9:28

Microblading. Do you think he would

9:30

have gotten Buchal fat in 2022

9:32

when everyone... doing it and now

9:34

it would be really bad. So

9:36

thank God. You need to go

9:38

to like the like the Demi

9:40

Moore surgeon that like undoes what

9:43

all the weird stuff does and

9:45

does like one big reset. Hillary

9:47

deaf surgeon who just yeah that

9:49

makes you look like Robin Wright

9:51

and then you leave. Okay this

9:53

next one is from episode 69.

9:55

which obviously we titled nice nice

9:58

nice nice it was published January

10:00

15th 2020 were we ever so

10:02

young we had no idea what

10:04

was coming this a different world

10:06

which makes this quote all the

10:08

funnier in cambellian terms we have

10:10

to journey to the underworld who

10:13

said that this is brave that

10:15

just sounds like me yeah it

10:17

sounds like me and what were

10:19

you talking about rave The year

10:21

2020, I was going into a

10:23

trance and I was predicting. Is

10:25

it like a team tanking? Yeah,

10:28

yeah, this could be about, the

10:30

caps were not good, so it

10:32

might have been about the Washington

10:34

capitals. Was it about laying the

10:36

leafs suffer? Oh, it might have

10:38

been about the leaves, you're right.

10:40

We did do a lot of

10:43

like leaves heroes journey. content in

10:45

our day. Well they're doing that,

10:47

you're just documenting it. Yeah we

10:49

were getting it, analyzing it, analyzing

10:51

it, understanding it, noticing, understanding. Noticing,

10:53

understanding. Okay let's listen. I am

10:55

of a very strong opinion that

10:58

the Washington Capitals need to suck

11:00

right now. They are top of

11:02

the league still. That's bad. I

11:04

don't like that. You don't want

11:06

that. We need more stupid shit

11:08

at perfect. This is perfectly time.

11:10

This is when it should happen.

11:13

Yes. Correct. You know a story

11:15

arc? Because I show them to

11:17

students all the time. I can

11:19

draw one for you. We can

11:21

plug in little index cards with

11:23

all the special names that you

11:25

use in books, but we don't

11:28

have to. I'm just saying. In

11:30

camp belly in terms, we have

11:32

to journey to the underworld as

11:34

the heroes. And this is our

11:36

little journey to the underworld. The

11:38

underworld is the New Jersey Devils.

11:40

And they're around in hell. Let

11:43

them have one thing. So good.

11:45

You guys like nailed it actually.

11:47

We did except we thought it

11:49

was because the caps were bad

11:51

and actually was because they were

11:53

good and we didn't like it.

11:55

Good. And we were correct because

11:58

it took us four years to

12:00

get actually good. And we did

12:02

need to be actually bad first.

12:04

We were so right. We kept

12:06

skirting around being bad. We were

12:08

like, oh, let's lose a couple

12:10

games and then let's win a

12:13

game. And it's like, no, no,

12:15

no, just commit. You need to

12:17

miss the whole playoffs. And they

12:19

said, actually, there will be no

12:21

playoffs. that has slipped into our

12:23

voices in the years since then.

12:25

Like I feel like there's just

12:28

all our vocal chords are a

12:30

little too relaxed. I don't know.

12:32

Mine always sound tense. I can't

12:34

speak for you guys. You were

12:36

always clutching your whole body. Yeah.

12:38

We all have rolls. Absolutely. It

12:40

was like how I saw a

12:43

tweet that it was like. I

12:45

must have been right around the

12:47

time this episode came out, but

12:49

it was like a screenshot of

12:51

the tweet that was like this

12:53

was the last time anything was

12:55

normal and it was the large

12:58

boulder the size of a small

13:00

boulder on the road. And I

13:02

was like, you know, yeah, maybe

13:04

that wasn't when everything changed for

13:06

us. I also think the caps

13:08

agreed with us about needing to

13:10

suck because do you remember the

13:13

bubble playoffs and how they did

13:15

not work? They were

13:17

like, like, peace, I'm out.

13:19

Scarcely, honestly, like, that is

13:21

truly gone. I, like, it's

13:23

there if I rummage around

13:25

for it with my little

13:27

raccoon hands, but man, the

13:29

details. I just started thinking,

13:31

and it came back to

13:33

me. The main thing I

13:35

remember about the bubble playoffs

13:37

is a condom? No, I

13:39

was on vacation together. Yes,

13:41

very much. I do. I

13:43

don't. Straight up just like

13:45

a condom on the ground

13:47

in the, in wherever that

13:49

went in the bubble places

13:51

and everyone was like, uh,

13:53

girl. And everyone was like,

13:55

yeah, that makes perfect sense

13:57

to me. No, I was

13:59

thinking when we were on

14:02

vacation together. watching the playoffs

14:04

and I looked over at

14:06

you and you were gazing

14:08

at your phone with the

14:10

fondest expression and just like

14:12

busily doing something and I

14:14

was like oh I bet

14:16

she's making a cute Instagram

14:18

post and I kind of

14:20

peered over your shoulder and

14:22

you had a picture of

14:24

the Canucks and you were

14:26

putting text on it that

14:28

said you are the hope

14:30

of the family. I stand

14:32

by it. It's so cute.

14:34

Again, accurate. That was such

14:36

a great time to be

14:38

a Canucks fan back in

14:40

those days. It was. It

14:42

was. It was. Wow. Wow.

14:44

Yeah. That's very cute. So

14:46

cute. Okay. The next one

14:48

is from episode 124, which

14:50

was titled, Assigned Meet at

14:52

Birth. This was published August

14:54

3rd 2021 and I apologize

14:56

in advance, but I am

14:58

going to say it the

15:00

way that you said it.

15:02

Oh, don't I'm going I'm

15:04

going to find the most

15:06

authentic tacos. This is Eva.

15:08

Eva for sure. Yeah. What

15:10

we're talking about? I must

15:12

have been doing an impression

15:14

of someone that I had

15:16

made up. Which players like

15:18

that? It could also be

15:20

me. It's not Kelly. It's

15:22

definitely not me. It's not

15:24

something Kelly would do. No.

15:26

I mean, I've said that

15:28

before, but not like that.

15:30

You're not doing the voice.

15:32

Not like that. Not being

15:34

me, but it doesn't sound

15:36

like me. Is it like

15:38

Braden Holpey? Like is this?

15:40

Oh, yes, it could. I

15:42

bet it was. Mike Green?

15:44

Who is this? Chris Crider?

15:46

Just so you know this

15:49

was a moment that was

15:51

requested on Patreon by Emma.

15:53

Thank you Emma. And they

15:55

say that they quote it

15:57

all the time. Of all

15:59

the things. Yeah I think

16:01

Kelly's right about this. I

16:03

think this is a Britain

16:05

Holby possessing somebody's body on

16:07

the West Coast moment. Okay

16:09

I'm gonna play it. For

16:11

instance Braden Holby plays in

16:13

in D town, not Detroit,

16:15

Dallas. Dallas. And I'm interested

16:17

in. That's a sexy little

16:19

choice. Actually, that's cute. It's

16:21

cute. That's super cute. Oh,

16:23

that's fun. Also, because Tyler

16:25

Sagan woke up one day

16:27

and was like, wow, the

16:29

world's bad? Bad? Who can

16:31

help me explore this? No

16:33

likey. Jamie has been dragging

16:35

me down. I need a

16:37

hippie. A new hot, a

16:39

real king. Who can angle?

16:41

Yeah, I think I think

16:43

he'll be able to really

16:45

lean into his like turquoise

16:47

rings vibe And it's gonna

16:49

feel good for him. It's

16:51

gonna be oh yeah He

16:53

can have like a real

16:55

like Frida Kalo like hippie

16:57

Desert moment. Oh Yeah, he's

16:59

just gonna be like I'm

17:01

just gonna pretend I'm in

17:03

Albuquerque It's fine Yeah I'm

17:05

sorry, but he will. He

17:07

will. He really will. And

17:09

he's gonna mean it so

17:11

much. He means it with

17:13

his whole heart. God, that

17:15

kills me. Wow. Really good.

17:18

Really good. I think I've realized

17:20

from this and I've thought about

17:22

this for a while is that

17:24

my truest talent is witch hockey.

17:26

Yes. Yeah. You are so good.

17:28

Right on all the time. And

17:30

the most of them dig tacos,

17:32

witch hockey. Yeah, right, right, right,

17:35

right. You knew. You're most engineering,

17:37

you're in contest. Yeah. Yeah. So

17:39

fucking funny. Right. You know, I

17:41

genuinely kind of forgot. You put

17:43

it down. I completely not. Same.

17:45

Until that clip started I forgot.

17:47

I was delighted along with us.

17:49

I was like why the fuck

17:51

would I be talking about him?

17:53

Did he get tacos in Vancouver

17:55

or like how did that happen?

17:57

Like is that loud? as I

17:59

was listening to it, I was

18:02

like, yes, that is such a

18:04

nice idea. I love that, like,

18:06

I was just as delighted as

18:08

we were. It's like, we're so

18:10

smart. This is why it's great

18:12

to have absolutely no object permanence,

18:14

because everything can be funny every

18:16

time that you hear it, because

18:18

you are stupid. That's great. It's

18:20

freeing. I do just want to

18:22

point out, Danielle, that you don't

18:24

think it's funny when I pronounce

18:27

it, quesadadilla. I have a harder

18:29

time with the way you say

18:31

croissant to be honest. That's

18:33

difficult for me. That's the

18:35

way it's pronounced. I didn't

18:37

decide. Quissant. Quissant. Get a

18:40

coffee in the quissant?

18:42

Quissant. You need a French

18:44

Canadian pronunciation of croissant. Because

18:47

the French Canadian pronunciation is

18:49

truly crazy. There, like they

18:51

say they're all so heavy.

18:54

It's so agro. Good God.

18:56

That's what I really like

18:59

about it. All those are

19:01

like, it's not like, it's

19:04

not like, it's like, ah!

19:06

Okay, I joked with Laura that

19:08

this is for our Gen

19:10

Z listeners. It's from episode

19:12

118. The episode was titled

19:15

Born on the Floor. This

19:17

was published May 11th, 2021.

19:19

And the quote goes, it

19:21

had a certain like Catherine

19:23

Hepburn summertime element, which we

19:25

know the kids go crazy for

19:27

these references. They love that. So

19:29

true. Who said that? And who

19:32

or what were they talking about? I

19:34

think it's me or rave? I think

19:36

that's Kelly. I think this is Kelly.

19:38

Maybe rave. But I think it's kind

19:40

of like, were we, oh, um, Connor

19:42

McDavid's wife's dress that

19:45

we liked? Oh, I didn't listen to when

19:47

this was from, so I have no

19:49

idea if the timing was right. May

19:51

2021, so I think that was too

19:53

far, never mind. That wasn't it. That

19:55

wasn't it, but it could have been.

19:58

Maybe someone were a jaunty hat. of

20:00

some kind. Oh yeah, honestly. This

20:02

might make it more complicated, but

20:04

this is the origin of something

20:07

that you guys still say. And

20:09

I think you just said it

20:12

in the episode we recorded earlier

20:14

today. Did we? Oh my God.

20:16

What was it? What was it?

20:19

Wait, just, no, you got to

20:21

just play it. We're not going

20:23

to get it. All right, I'm

20:26

going to play it. It must

20:28

be enormous catharsis to get to

20:31

just like physically fight someone that's

20:33

pissing you off like I would

20:35

love to be able to do

20:38

that in my human life and

20:40

so I really I really I

20:43

thought yeah I see it on

20:45

your face I see the tension

20:47

has left you the fight edging

20:50

has finally been completed so it

20:52

had a certain like Catherine Hepburn

20:54

summertime element It's like how Sydney

20:57

got his groove back kind of

20:59

vibes like it's very like oh

21:02

a young a hot freak is

21:04

really interested in me let me

21:06

but no seriously he has like

21:09

for some reason without in any

21:11

way getting divorced it's like started

21:13

to exude divorced energy yes yes

21:16

yes yes and it's great exactly

21:18

exactly That was 2021? Wow, good

21:21

friend. He's been divorced for four

21:23

slutty, slutty years. Well, good for

21:25

her. Oh, we got a bake

21:28

and a cake. That was when

21:30

he fought TK. Oh, yeah. Oh,

21:32

yeah. That was so beautiful. So

21:35

the hot freaking question was the

21:37

hot freak. Wow. Ephurvesant. Oh yeah

21:40

and TK was like I've been

21:42

trying to fight him for so

21:44

long. Oh my god. Yeah I

21:47

had my eye on you old

21:49

man. Yeah. I mean was that

21:51

a was that a linchpin moment

21:54

in Sydney's Sydney's evolution? Very much

21:56

so yeah. It absolutely was. I

21:59

think we've been giving TK any

22:01

credit. And that's unfortunate. I'm really

22:03

glad that we could listen to

22:06

this again and bring back who

22:08

initiated the affair that started Sydney's

22:11

divorce era. It was Travis Kinectny

22:13

and we've never said thank you.

22:15

So I want to take this

22:18

moment to say. Thank you. Thank

22:20

you. You know what's extra special

22:22

about that is you know how

22:25

Claude Girue and Sydney had a

22:27

psychosexual obsession for many years? I

22:30

just think it's really beautiful how

22:32

TK was like, I can do

22:34

it. I can take up that

22:37

mantle. Oh, don't worry Papa Claude,

22:39

I'll make you proud. Imagine having

22:41

an emotional love hate affair with

22:44

someone for 20 years and then

22:46

he sleeps with your stepson. Honestly

22:50

though, I feel like Clod true

22:52

would be like, yeah, sounds right.

22:55

I know, it's true. He's like,

22:57

I didn't want to do it.

22:59

I want to work. Yeah, I

23:01

raised him for that. He's like,

23:03

I'm not going to Venice in

23:05

the summertime. Please. God, it was

23:08

there. Sweat there. Sweat. Oh, this

23:10

is for all of that hockey.

23:12

Obviously. Episode 102 jams in the

23:14

stable. This was published January 13th,

23:16

2021. 2021 was a good year

23:18

for us. And the quote goes,

23:20

God. Can you say this? Because

23:23

I feel like I'm going to

23:25

laugh out loud and I'm going

23:27

to ruin it. Yeah, he looks

23:29

like a weird, a truscan carving

23:31

of an elf. This has to

23:33

be me, because I have to

23:36

sing for the Etruscans. I love

23:38

the Etruscans. So I think this

23:40

is me. Who has a little

23:42

smile like a mmm? So many.

23:44

So many. I mean, to be

23:46

honest. I feel like it's not

23:48

filled with enough anguish, the speech

23:51

to be about Nicholas Backstra. So

23:53

it can't be that, but it's

23:55

got to be... It's not someone

23:57

we're like super horny about. Yeah,

23:59

no. It's someone fresh and new,

24:01

too. Someone like, we don't talk

24:04

about this one that much. Is

24:06

it Quinnifer? No, he doesn't have

24:08

that nah. He doesn't have any

24:10

kind of smile. No, you're right.

24:12

I mean, it does kind of

24:14

sound like Elias Patterson, but I

24:16

don't think that too, but I

24:19

don't think so. Cuzmenko? What if

24:21

we give you a little more

24:23

context on this one? Okay, yeah,

24:25

a little bit. What if you

24:27

do? What you were talking about

24:29

was hiring hockey's as mall employees.

24:31

That's not helpful. But then that

24:34

makes me think of who would

24:36

we bring up organically? Because there's

24:38

a, there's like, of that, we're

24:40

very attached to old guys. So

24:42

it's gonna, it's gonna scoo older.

24:44

This could also be Kiro Kaprizov.

24:47

But he just looks like a

24:49

regular elf. Yeah, he's he's more

24:51

jaunty. He doesn't have a secrets.

24:53

Yeah, we wouldn't need to qualify

24:55

it. I think you guys are

24:57

thinking cute. And you shouldn't be.

24:59

Thank you. I think he malevolent.

25:02

Yeah, that's more interesting. It sounds

25:04

like somebody finish. Is this like

25:06

somebody we said was like working

25:08

at hot dog on a stick

25:10

or is Patrick? One of those

25:12

weird, like, sort of like bits

25:15

and bobs and antiquities, like in

25:17

the back of the mall that

25:19

you're kind of scared to go

25:21

to. Yes, gorgeous. Yeah, that is

25:23

sensual. Oh, hmm. Is it a

25:25

goalie? Do you want me to

25:27

answer that question? Yeah. This guy's

25:30

got to be European. That's what

25:32

I got to say. Yes. Yeah.

25:34

You're on the right track. I'm

25:36

going to play it for you.

25:38

Who works at like that weird

25:40

pop-up that only sells like... Catanasas

25:42

and like weird chachis because I'm

25:45

pretty sure it's a goalie. Oh

25:47

it could be Brent Burns too.

25:49

Is it not Brent Burns? I

25:51

don't know. It could be... Brent

25:53

Burns, but it seems to me

25:55

like someone who has like a

25:58

weird affinity for faux antiquities. You

26:00

know what I'm thinking, and I

26:02

can't really justify this, but I

26:04

think it's true, is Robin Lainer.

26:06

Yeah. I was gonna say, yeah,

26:08

yes, and also Tukaras, yes. Yes,

26:10

and Tukaras, for sure. Oh. They

26:13

just trade off, it's the scariest

26:15

part of them all, and you

26:17

have to walk past it to

26:19

get to get to the movie

26:21

theater to get to the movie

26:23

theater, and you're just like. I

26:26

was going to say that Tigaras

26:28

has antiquity's face, like his features

26:30

are antiquities. Because he looks like

26:33

a weird Etruscan carving of an

26:35

elf. Exactly, yeah. He's like he

26:37

came out of the sea. And

26:39

you're like, was that an old

26:41

statuary? Yeah. He's been like purified

26:43

by time, you know, by the

26:45

waves rubbing against his face. That's

26:47

why he looks like that. Oh,

26:50

what a dream to be roasted

26:52

by you guys. I like this

26:55

game more and more because I'm

26:57

so right. You're like, you're like,

26:59

finish, goalie. I'm like, do you

27:02

want me to answer? You know,

27:04

you know, which hockey it is,

27:06

but you just, you can't always

27:09

get it quite from the brain

27:11

to the mouth, but you know,

27:13

in your heart. I did it

27:16

in a, in a segment, I

27:18

got it, so. In a segment,

27:20

you nailed it, you nailed it.

27:22

Absolutely. Absolutely. I can see that

27:25

kiosk in my mind. We created

27:27

a mind palace. I can smell

27:29

that kiosk. You hold your breath

27:32

when you walk by it. You

27:34

accidentally make eye contact with tukarask

27:36

and he just watches you pass

27:39

like a full head turning. Just

27:41

his eyeballs. You're like, is he

27:43

wearing a snake on his wrist?

27:46

I think it's alive. It is.

27:48

Oh man. Wow. Gorgeous. Cursed, cursed,

27:50

cursed. The next one is from

27:52

a very early episode. This was

27:55

episode 15. Oh wow. I tell

27:57

you the episode title because that'll

27:59

give it away, but it was

28:02

published July 27th, 2018. And the

28:04

quote is, moves like he's walking

28:06

on air because he's got daddy's

28:09

money. Who said that? This was

28:11

a hockey or livestockie. This was

28:13

a description of a bull or

28:16

a sheep or a goat. Or

28:18

a man. Or a man. That

28:20

is the game after all. I

28:22

think this was a goat named

28:25

daddy's money or a bull named

28:27

daddy's money. I think that was

28:29

the name of one of these

28:32

animals. It does seem like it.

28:34

That's what I think. I think

28:36

probably... Was that the name and

28:39

then we reworked it in the

28:41

response? That's possible. In which case

28:43

I'd say, Eva, maybe. Yeah, yeah,

28:46

yeah, this could definitely be an

28:48

Eva. It could be. What if

28:50

I told you Eva wasn't in

28:52

this episode? Gaspa. It could be

28:55

Kelly. And neither was Kelly. Oh!

28:57

the reveal I'm just gonna I'm

28:59

gonna play it for you moves

29:02

like he is walking on air

29:04

that's it yeah that's all I'm

29:06

giving you okay so here's the

29:09

thing do you seek those qualities

29:11

and therefore advertise them in a

29:13

goat yeah I don't know do

29:15

you I don't it's what would

29:18

you guess it's either Eric Carlson

29:20

I'm going with hockey or it's

29:22

it's probably a caps player I'm

29:25

gonna say You are wrong, it's

29:27

a bull named Daddy's Money. Daddy's

29:29

Money. Daddy's Money. Daddy's Money is

29:32

the name of this bull. Oh,

29:34

yep. Yep, I'm so sorry everyone.

29:36

Daddy's Money. It moves like he's

29:39

walking on air because he got

29:41

Daddy's Money. Daddy's Money. Jason, Roger.

29:43

Oh, I miss you, you baby.

29:45

I thought it would be fun

29:48

to switch it up a little.

29:50

Oh, I love that. Special guests.

29:52

We were all tricked. And I

29:55

loved it. I love how rave

29:57

is like, oh, I know where

29:59

I come from. I know. She

30:02

knows her roots. I know this

30:04

like the back of my hand.

30:06

I don't remember anything I've done

30:09

in my life, but I remember

30:11

those fucking bulls. You did the

30:13

research, you had the, you had

30:15

the experience. You're familiar with that

30:18

now. I put in hours of

30:20

my one wild and precious life

30:22

looking up. Seaman of farm animals.

30:25

We will revisit hockey or livestock

30:27

later. Okay, I have the last

30:29

one in who said that. It

30:32

is from episode 79 titled, Ah,

30:34

Sounds Mighty Right. Published April 1st,

30:36

2020, and the quote is, those

30:39

are some ho antics. Kelly, who

30:41

said that? I think this is

30:43

Kelly. Yeah, I'm going to say

30:45

Kelly on that one. I do

30:48

remember, Ah, Sounds Mighty Right. I

30:50

mean, who's Ho Antics? Are we

30:52

talking about them? Usually Tyler Sagan.

30:55

This is like a random pairing.

30:57

So usually, oh, so my guess

30:59

is Tyler Sagan and like Trevor

31:02

Zieger is someone like that. Or

31:04

Andre Berkovsky. Or Andre, Andre, Andre

31:06

and someone. I'm going to give

31:09

you a little context before I

31:11

play it. This was from when

31:13

the NHL was trying to entertain

31:15

us while keeping the player socially

31:18

distant. So they were basically playing

31:20

cell and you were thinking of

31:22

random mashups. Which two and each

31:25

others would you like to see

31:27

face up playing shell with those

31:29

little live? Twitch stream boxes in

31:32

the corner. I think I'm gonna

31:34

pick Travis Conectady and Tyler Sagan.

31:36

I've never seen them interact. I

31:38

think it would be fascinating and

31:41

I'm interested. Those are some ho

31:43

antics. Exactly. That would be the

31:45

sluddiest game. It would be so

31:48

trashy. You guys nailed it. If

31:50

we are consistent in one thing

31:52

it is recognizing that Ho Antics

31:55

and Tyler City... go hand in

31:57

hand like throughout the years. Yeah,

31:59

a pretty common theme. You said

32:02

that from the very beginning. Yeah,

32:04

and never been proved wrong, right?

32:06

Never. And you never will be.

32:08

The thing about Tyler Sagan is

32:11

he's such a rich text. Yeah,

32:13

Tyler says the richest text. I

32:15

think I know because honestly the

32:18

hero's journey he's gone on in

32:20

so many different areas and yet

32:22

he remains so trashy. I love

32:25

him. He only gets better with

32:27

age. I mean, speak about going

32:29

to the fucking underworld. Honestly. It's

32:32

really special. If I, I E,

32:34

Boston. Right. But even his most

32:37

like. Like conventional choices are

32:39

just like riddled with strange

32:41

meta textual notes. Like he

32:44

got married to a hot

32:46

girl. Like that's normal, right?

32:48

And it's like no, it's

32:51

not. It's not normal. Even

32:53

that should ain't normal. Don't

32:55

look further into it. Do

32:57

not find out anything. No,

33:00

nothing about that situation. Right,

33:02

it's like trying to read like a

33:04

novel for like a very like normal

33:06

beech read, but it has all these

33:09

fucking footnotes to be like, okay, but

33:11

actually. Notice like I just read about

33:13

how like people are using chat GPT

33:16

to like summarize the chapters of books

33:18

instead of reading the books. It makes

33:20

me so mad. First of all, that's

33:22

crazy making. But like, that is like,

33:25

if you chat GPT, like the Tyler

33:27

Sagan story, like the Tyler Sagan story,

33:29

like the Tyler Sagan story. hot boy

33:32

and it's like that's not what

33:34

this book was about. It's

33:36

like you've misunderstood. Chat GPT

33:38

you hallucinated that and we

33:40

all saw because Chat GPT

33:42

would be like yes Ontario

33:44

boy Mary's hot wife hot

33:46

blonde wife does hockey good

33:48

place in two different places

33:51

good job. The same team

33:53

for 10 years. Normal fine

33:55

good traditional. Yes. Amen. Oh

33:57

well mention of different tweets

33:59

nothing. So that was a fun

34:01

game. That was even more fun than

34:03

I thought I would do. Oh, I

34:06

loved that. That was really fun. Those

34:08

are some Ho Antics was picked by

34:10

Laura and she was like, I was

34:13

so surprised that this was Kelly. And

34:15

you guys knew right away. You guys

34:17

do right away? That's so funny. Just

34:20

because Kelly doesn't do Ho Antics. Doesn't

34:22

mean she can't recognize them. Yeah, and

34:24

that's on me. Doesn't mean she doesn't

34:26

know what they are. No what they

34:29

are. Ah yes, that's a hoe. And

34:31

I feel like this phrasing, there's some

34:33

slightly removed, like phrasing about it, which

34:36

sounds like me. Those over there? It's

34:38

like I'm observing these hoe antics. Those

34:40

are hoe antics. Over there. Although I've

34:43

been known to do many hoe antics

34:45

in my past, but we don't discuss

34:47

this. Moving

34:55

on to our special requests, the

34:57

first special request we got was

34:59

actually from Eva. You wanted to

35:01

know what our first mention of

35:04

Dylanstrom was on the pod. Oh

35:06

my goodness. By the way, this

35:08

whole game, I've been rolling around

35:10

like a caterpillar, I'm like physically

35:12

reacting, and I want to like,

35:15

I want to put, I want

35:17

to kick my little leggies up

35:19

in the air, but I don't

35:21

know how close I'll be to

35:23

the mic, so I'm staying like

35:25

this, but it's hard for me,

35:28

I just want you to know.

35:30

You're being really brave. I'm being

35:32

so brave. I appreciate it. First

35:34

ever mention of Dylan Strome. I

35:36

honestly feel like it has to

35:38

be episode one two or three.

35:41

So the actual first mention of

35:43

Dylan Strome on the pot is

35:45

in episode three. One two or

35:47

three. Nailed it. Third overall, baby.

35:49

However, it's in the context of

35:51

Connor McDavid calling out for him

35:54

when he scared and alone. The

35:56

Stromer? Stromer? So you're not actually

35:58

talking about Dylan Strome. Sure. So

36:00

I didn't pull that one. The

36:02

one where you actually talk about

36:05

Dylan Strome, it's almost too perfect.

36:07

It's from episode 7. So really

36:09

not that far in. The episode

36:11

was titled Chess on a hockey

36:13

plane. It was published May 2nd.

36:15

2018 and God I can't wait

36:18

for you to listen to this.

36:20

The Arizona Coyotes have been awful

36:22

ever since they moved from Winnipeg

36:24

to Arizona and they have never

36:26

once had the number one pick

36:28

not once and they've been awful

36:31

the whole time. It's just God

36:33

hates them. Yeah they can't even

36:35

lose right. Yeah but what would

36:37

they do with it? I mean

36:39

they have like Dylan Strome who

36:42

can actually play hockey and they're

36:44

like I mean you go to

36:46

the road runner. Can I? Can

36:48

I? Maybe he can't. Yeah, nothing's

36:50

good. Nothing good is happening there.

36:52

Nothing good. Wow. I love that

36:55

you're questioning his ability. You guys

36:57

gone through a hero's journey of

36:59

her own? Are she just totally...

37:01

Clearly. Accepted Dylanstrom into her heart.

37:03

If we can chart your progress

37:05

as a group in terms of

37:08

your feelings toward the penguins over

37:10

the course of this podcast, I

37:12

think we can also chart it

37:14

in terms of your feelings toward

37:16

Dylanstrom. I mean, we were always

37:18

fond of him and interested in

37:21

him in general. It's true. I

37:23

think we thought he was like

37:25

a secondary character, yeah. Yeah. We

37:27

didn't realize he was a protagonist.

37:29

Yeah, that's true. We thought he

37:32

was kind of like dark Connor

37:34

McDavid. Like a kind of a

37:36

good supporting character in, yeah, in

37:38

McDavid's story, but like wasn't kind

37:40

of a cautionary tale. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

37:42

Mm-hmm. Like a- And we're interested

37:45

in his suffering. We thought that

37:47

was a- There was a rich

37:49

text. I didn't realize there was

37:51

a whole world of his successes

37:53

that I could also enjoy. Who

37:55

knew? I forgot they sent him

37:58

to the Arizona coyotes, had the

38:00

fucking audacity to send him to

38:02

the... roadrunners. Unbelievable. You guys don't

38:04

even exist anymore. Who's the winner

38:06

now? Oh my god. They made

38:08

him go back to the uh

38:11

the otters didn't they at one

38:13

point? Yeah they did. And now

38:15

he's there. Their otters are retiring

38:17

Connor McDavid's number and they did

38:19

they did a little video tribute

38:22

to him that included Strommer being

38:24

like it was really great to

38:26

play with you and to get

38:28

to be your friend but he

38:30

fades to black like it before

38:32

he's done talking yes probably because

38:35

he started crying sometimes we were

38:37

friends but he's still talking like

38:39

the video is still going it's

38:41

just on a black screen with

38:43

Dylan being like we were friends

38:45

it was great to have a

38:48

chance to be your friend anyway

38:50

bye it was like we made

38:52

great memories I hope to make

38:54

some in the future being like

38:56

weird weird call me bro I

38:59

know weird weird weird but honestly

39:01

I truly feel like Dylan Strome

39:03

has made more psychological progress than

39:05

Connor McDavid. Honestly, genuinely won that

39:07

divorce. Like, really? Like, Connor McDavid

39:09

is probably like the best player.

39:12

But like, yes. To me, it

39:14

read more like Dylan Strome being

39:16

like, it's okay. We had a

39:18

special time that's over, but maybe

39:20

we could be friends again if

39:22

you want to reach it. That's

39:25

cute. No pressure. You never know

39:27

what the future brings. Trust me.

39:29

but like it seemed it seemed

39:31

loaded in the fact of like

39:33

I've been to therapy with a

39:35

sports psychologist yeah kind of way

39:38

maybe the loaded this comes from

39:40

his like permanent dead eyes on

39:42

camera and that's why they had

39:44

to fade him out so that

39:46

it would you would stop like

39:49

he had a blinked once the

39:51

whole time he was talking people

39:53

are gonna worry him that light

39:55

him and Quinn Hughes have so

39:57

much in common mm-hues have so

39:59

much in common mm-hmm-hmm oh that's

40:02

so true they should link and

40:04

build and build Okay, so the

40:06

next one was a request on

40:08

Patreon from Katie. This is from

40:10

episode 169, Dunk That Donk, it

40:12

was published February 7th, 2023. And

40:15

it is just a request that

40:17

we revisit Sid's Dunk Tank. And

40:19

what I will tell you is

40:21

that I had to go throughout

40:23

the episode and click, this is

40:25

gonna be one long thing, but

40:28

if you listen to the episode,

40:30

you'll hear different parts in different

40:32

parts of the episode, because you

40:34

just kept returning to it. It

40:36

was like a black let it

40:39

go. So I had to make

40:41

a compilation, basically. So this is.

40:43

Two and a half minutes. Oh

40:45

yeah. Please enjoy. Wait, but I'm

40:47

not done talking about Sydney. I

40:49

don't have a lot of slots

40:52

to discuss. Yes. But I want

40:54

to go bad because I want

40:56

to discuss the opening event of

40:58

this weekend, the first event filmed.

41:00

It was a dunk tank. According

41:02

to the fucking director of... carnival

41:05

or whatever is his job at

41:07

the NHL. The ringmaster. This was

41:09

on like some kind of NHL

41:11

marketing call as like a possibility

41:13

that they could do. And Sydney

41:15

Crosby picked up his telephone beep

41:18

beep beep beep beep beep beep

41:20

and called and said I want

41:22

to be wet. I'm Sydney Crosby

41:24

and I demand to be dunked.

41:26

He said dunk that dunk and

41:29

indeed he dunked that dunk. He

41:31

was dunked. I've never seen him

41:33

happier. He can't stop smiling all

41:35

weekend. It's like disgusting. It's like

41:37

disgusting. He was disgusting! Like I

41:39

specifically remember when after he had

41:42

gotten dunked and they were interviewing

41:44

whoever was like next to the

41:46

dunk tank with him and he

41:48

just sat there and like gazed

41:50

out at the ocean while he

41:52

was like soft and wet just

41:55

like arms crossed on top of

41:57

the dunk tank like muscles flexed

41:59

and just like into the horizon

42:01

and just like full of duot

42:03

of Eve. Look he bullied the

42:06

whole league into doing that precisely

42:08

for him making sure he sat

42:10

on the dunkable side swinging his

42:12

little legs. I believe with my

42:14

whole heart that he was out

42:16

there putting little nails and tacks

42:19

into the other side because he

42:21

said if someone else gets dunked

42:23

and I don't I'm gonna have

42:25

a fucking fit. So that's my

42:27

conspiracy theory. We did find that

42:29

our super team of Alexander, of

42:32

Edgegan and Sydney Crosby got real

42:34

tired and wanted to go home.

42:36

They did not. The Metro did

42:38

not advance over the Atlantic. They

42:40

eat early and they were like,

42:42

no. I did. We were here

42:45

for yesterday. Truly they said we

42:47

know what the people want to

42:49

see Sydney's already got dunked he

42:51

is gonna he wants to leave

42:53

here to go see if they've

42:56

hauled off the dunk tank already

42:58

see if you can get another

43:00

10 minutes on it like no

43:02

no you get yeah okay you

43:04

guys go Atlantic have fun God,

43:06

it is such a magical time.

43:09

What a day. I remember the

43:11

vision in my head of him

43:13

as I was listening to myself

43:15

describe him staring out over the

43:17

ocean joyfully. I was like, no,

43:19

that I remember. I don't remember

43:22

what I was supposed to do

43:24

today, like where my keys are,

43:26

but I remember that. And you

43:28

evoked it so perfectly that I

43:30

had that vision again listening to

43:32

it just now. Also, the way

43:35

that you hear me say, I'm

43:37

not talking about city crossing. I'm

43:39

like, just, this is a, this

43:41

is a deep cut, but do

43:43

you guys remember back in the

43:46

days of the boy band One

43:48

Direction? There was a BBC Radio

43:50

4 presenter named Nick Grimshaw, and

43:52

one day, Nick Grimshaw. Do I

43:54

remember Nick Grimshaw? I remember, I

43:56

lived through the war. He points

43:59

me out. Remember the producers on

44:01

the show, surprised him on his

44:03

own show, with a super gut

44:05

of him, saying, one direction, one

44:07

direction, one direction, one direction, one

44:09

direction, direction. One direction, direction. And

44:12

I feel like, direction. And I

44:14

feel like, like, like, like, like,

44:16

like, like, like, like, like, like,

44:18

like, like, like, like, like, like,

44:20

Yeah, so it's all laughs for

44:23

the first 30 seconds, but then

44:25

the next two minutes was like,

44:27

oh my God, yes. Jokes, jokes,

44:29

jokes. That was such a perfect

44:31

like embodiment of his hot divorce

44:33

girl summer and him seizing it

44:36

and using. Like, using his power

44:38

for, not good, but good for

44:40

him. For Dunk Tank. Yeah. For

44:42

Wemsey. Using his power for good

44:44

for her. Yeah. Yes. He made

44:46

it clear he was not invested

44:49

in being a good Canadian boy.

44:51

He was invested in being docked,

44:53

which I think is important. He

44:55

was invested in being wet. That's

44:57

so, like, if you can take

44:59

one lesson from all of this,

45:02

it's that obeying the rules is

45:04

just gonna get you yelled at

45:06

more by J.T. Miller. You have

45:08

to accept the rules that you

45:10

can put the other ones aside

45:13

and then seize the fucking dunk

45:15

tank with the rest of your

45:17

time. Go sit in the sun

45:19

and then get dunked by other

45:21

big... slutty dudes just together. This

45:23

is the way. Or I guess

45:26

whatever your version of that is,

45:28

but like don't knock that immediately

45:30

either. But it's true, it was

45:32

the best use of his like

45:34

hypnotic power over the entire NHL

45:36

was that he was like, you

45:39

know what I'm using this for?

45:41

A, you're not allowed to fire

45:43

my coach and B. You have

45:45

to dunk. I have two rules.

45:47

How could we not love him?

45:49

How could we ever not? We're

45:52

doomed. We were deluding ourselves. So

45:54

the next one was a request

45:56

from Emma and Liv, and this

45:58

is from episode 135, which was

46:00

titled The Spankies. It was published

46:03

December 16th, 2021, and it is

46:05

the holiday-themed casting couch. Oh, I

46:07

remember. Obviously, this went on, this

46:09

segment went on for quite a...

46:11

because it was so good. It

46:13

was so good. I picked my

46:16

favorite movie that you cast because

46:18

I have Adobe audition and you

46:20

don't. Okay, our next feature film,

46:22

oh I have three. We have

46:24

to think a movie with a

46:26

situation with three people. And they

46:29

are Joe Pavelski, Mitch Marner, and

46:31

Matthew Katjek. Oh God! One man

46:33

and two baby. Daddy battle. Yeah,

46:35

yeah. Yep. Do you think one

46:37

is his stepson? No, they're... Okay,

46:39

okay, okay, okay, shit, okay. Shut

46:42

up, shut up. Everybody, all of

46:44

you just shut the fuck up.

46:46

Shut up. Okay. Joe Pavelski has

46:48

a sister and a girlfriend. and

46:50

they both abandoned their teenage children

46:53

for some reason. They're teens bad

46:55

vibes. The teens do have bad

46:57

vibes. Look at what teens they

46:59

are, Mitch Werner and Maddie Kutcha.

47:01

You want those in your house?

47:03

Well, guess who has them in

47:06

his house? Joe Pavelski. Now has

47:08

to take care of two new

47:10

sons. Joe Pavelski is their billet

47:12

mom. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Okay, that's

47:14

a lot less weird. I love

47:16

that. Mine, where their moms just

47:19

to abandon them in a field.

47:21

Okay, yeah, it's a billet mom

47:23

situation. it's like bride wars they're

47:25

both like trying to win like

47:27

who will get the kiss from

47:30

daddy but in like their most

47:32

like themselves unique sort of ways

47:34

where it's just like michisms versus

47:36

chuckichisms i would love to see

47:38

the battle of styles to win

47:40

the daddy they have to have

47:43

a scene where they divide their

47:45

bedroom in the middle yes exactly

47:47

exactly We are going from Mary

47:49

Kate and Ashley holiday themed hockey

47:51

story. Do they have to get

47:53

Joe Pavelski the perfect dad present

47:56

for Christmas? Yes. has never gotten

47:58

a present from any of his

48:00

billet children before. So this is

48:02

this first time, and they're like,

48:04

we're going to get the perfect

48:06

present. They have to get it

48:09

together. Yes. First, they try to

48:11

get their separate presence and they're

48:13

not good. They have to combine

48:15

their talents and learn to get

48:17

a long present. Exactly.

48:19

I want to see the opening

48:22

montage of them waking up

48:24

in their totally different rooms,

48:26

like on each side, you

48:28

know what I mean? Yeah,

48:30

with just the line down

48:32

the middle, yeah. And then

48:34

you find out it's the

48:37

same room. It's the same

48:39

room all the time. Mitchie

48:41

Kate. I love that visual

48:43

review. And Matley. Also, it's

48:45

one of those movies where

48:47

like the the quote-unquote bad

48:49

kid clearly in a movie that

48:52

was not rated PG would be swearing

48:54

a lot But he can't swear because

48:56

the movies are like I always like

48:58

give them a meet-up, swear. They do.

49:01

I know we have a lot of

49:03

hockey episode going on, but can we

49:05

draw their friends? Because usually, uh... Yeah.

49:08

There'd be like a best friend for

49:10

each. I want to know who the

49:12

side kicks are. Okay. So which, who

49:15

are we starting with? Let's start with

49:17

Mitch. Who are you going to get?

49:19

Who's Mitchie's buddy? Dylan Larkin.

49:21

Oh, that's... I'll take that.

49:24

They're both just little ding-dongs.

49:26

They are little well-meaning ding-dongs.

49:28

Don't Larkin's like, I gotta

49:30

go to chess club. Like

49:33

there's robotics club energy all

49:35

around them. I love that.

49:37

They do their homework. Not

49:39

always well, but they do

49:42

it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They're

49:44

getting like 70s, but they're

49:46

doing them. So, but they're

49:48

doing that's a success. Hell

49:51

yeah. Madikka Chuck and Garda Hathaway

49:53

just like throwing bottles at a

49:55

railroad line. Like that's like how

49:57

they got bought. Oh, fuck their

49:59

stuff. on the roof of the

50:01

ice cream, like stand there, down to

50:03

get a fun dairy queen, Jesus Christ,

50:06

not again. I gotta go pick up

50:08

my billet brother from the roof of

50:10

dairy queen. I hate him so much.

50:13

Ellen, can we borrow your car? So

50:15

good. Oh my God. Literally. I love

50:17

it. We should bring back, oh, flink.

50:19

That made me think about how much

50:22

I loved the picka. I have like

50:24

a little, you know, bag full of

50:26

hockey names and I thought those games

50:29

were the best. So good. We got

50:31

a bring back. We got a. Wow.

50:33

It's almost like we have a whole

50:36

other clip that. highlights just how good

50:38

that is. We do. We very much

50:40

do. This one was a request for

50:43

Mora actually. Yeah. It is also a

50:45

casting. It is from episode 109, Crueler

50:47

of the Month, published March 2nd, 2021,

50:49

and it is you guys casting Mean

50:52

Girls. Sick. The segment goes on for

50:54

much longer than this three minutes that

50:56

I'm going to play for you. So

50:59

revisit. Definitely go back and listen to

51:01

episode 109. I have a new combo.

51:03

I have a new combo that my

51:06

brain is just lighting up about. Do

51:08

you want to hear this? Yes, yes.

51:10

God more than anything. It's so blonde.

51:12

Gabriel Lantis Cog. Yes. And Brock Besser.

51:15

Oh, Jesus. It's a teen movie. Why

51:17

are so beautiful? Why did Missy Elliot

51:19

just like, you know, that scene where

51:22

Regina George was like blowing kisses to

51:24

the... But that's

51:26

all I have is just

51:29

mean girls. Okay, so these

51:31

are two of the mean

51:33

girls Let's see who Katie

51:35

Hearin is there's boobs can

51:37

tell when it's raining They

51:40

really can Katie Hearin is

51:42

pike-soobam Oh Yeah I love

51:44

this movie I love this

51:46

movie I love in earnest

51:49

boy who's Gretchen, okay, let's

51:51

find out who's Eric Carlson

51:53

is Greta Carlson's

52:06

father, the inventor of toasters,

52:08

who'd all would be too

52:10

pleased to hear them. That's

52:13

what he was saying when

52:15

he was getting fake punched

52:17

in the face by Jordan

52:19

dating, too. He was like,

52:22

I don't think we bother.

52:24

P.K. Superin is Katie Heron,

52:26

too, is so muh. Like,

52:28

I just, him being the

52:30

new new guy in school

52:33

and everyone being like, oh

52:35

my God, you know, like

52:37

him immediately because he was

52:39

so popular. You think you're

52:42

really pretty pretty. And the

52:44

answers. Oh, and I love

52:46

him having an arc. Can

52:48

you just draw real fast

52:51

to tell us who, uh,

52:53

Janice Ian, and... Yes. What's

52:55

his name are? What? Nicholas?

52:57

Backstrom? No! And you know,

52:59

Genny? Moghert! Stop it! Good

53:02

bye. My god. This

53:04

movie is perfect. I feel

53:07

like I have a different

53:09

understanding of the world. Yeah,

53:11

now I have to rewatch

53:13

Mean Girls. I know. This

53:15

is like a whole new

53:17

thing happening. You can't do

53:19

that Mean Girls Watch Party

53:21

where we all mentally insert

53:24

these little hoes. Oh my

53:26

God. Go

53:29

over this. Let me just

53:31

sum this. Can I sum

53:34

it up? Yes. Sum it

53:36

up. This Gabriel Mantis Gag

53:39

is Regina. Yes. Brock Besser

53:41

is Karen. Karen. Yes. Yes.

53:44

Eric Carlson is correction. So

53:46

true. Easy. And is Katie

53:48

Heron Lindsay Lohan. Perfect. Jane

53:51

is Ian. Is Nicholas Backstrom.

53:53

Yes. Genny Malcolm is Damien.

53:56

Damien. Damien. Damien. Wow. Oh.

53:59

My God. Critical. That's the

54:01

most beautiful thing I've ever

54:03

heard. There's just a collaboration

54:05

with God. God gave us

54:07

those. Also God just touched

54:09

me on the forehead and

54:11

told me Egor Laryonov is

54:13

the mother. Wow. It makes

54:15

me mad that I can't

54:17

watch this movie because it

54:20

would be so good. Yeah.

54:22

Like that was like the

54:24

hand of God putting in

54:26

Janice and Damien, especially. Malcolm.

54:29

Wow. You guys did go on

54:31

to cast more. I just cut

54:34

it for time. Well we can't

54:36

listen to this forever because we

54:38

have to turn this to stop

54:40

recording and listen to it on

54:43

our own time. Yeah. I got

54:45

to make a new amount of

54:47

of things because that was back

54:49

in the day. And although I

54:52

want to continue having our old

54:54

guys because we're old guy biased,

54:56

but like, we have new friends.

54:58

We can, we can include Keal

55:01

Keprisoff, you know, we can include

55:03

Connor Bedard, who has a peanut

55:05

allergy, which feels like. Oh, it

55:07

does. Right? I'm Connor. I have

55:09

a peanut allergy. If we could

55:12

have cast that free form. We

55:14

couldn't have done as well as

55:16

the equity sticks did for us.

55:18

But it's so good. Brock Besser

55:21

is Karen. Incredible. That's essential characterization.

55:23

Yeah. Beautiful and so vacant. I'm

55:25

a mouse. Duh. Duh. Duh. That

55:27

is so Brock Besser through this

55:30

cold drama. That's true. And like

55:32

every time you see a picture

55:34

of him like walking up to

55:36

the thing with his coffee and

55:39

his like dapper little outfit, he's

55:41

always just in a different movie

55:43

than everyone else. He's in a

55:45

completely different. He just wants to

55:48

go kiss his cousin. Kiss his

55:50

cousin. No, honey. That's not right,

55:52

is that not right? We are

55:54

very millennial and good for us,

55:57

you know? Yeah, somebody has to

55:59

be. Oh man. This one was

56:01

a request for... Live, they said

56:03

that the Associated Tiktok is how

56:06

they found the pod. It's from

56:08

episode 171, Balms for Lost Boys.

56:10

It was published March 7th, 2023,

56:12

and it's line strology. The one

56:15

that we posted as the Tiktok

56:17

was Dallas's top line at the

56:19

time, but since that feels more

56:21

recent since there is a Tiktok,

56:24

I actually clipped caps at the

56:26

time. I wanted to look at

56:28

our old friend the top line

56:30

because we have looked at the

56:33

caps astrology very many times so

56:35

we never really looked into their

56:37

astrological compatibility as much but the

56:39

current top line is the classic

56:41

Ovi-cuzzi Tom. We got a Virgo,

56:44

a Taurus, and an Aries which

56:46

you'd think no. And then you

56:48

look at their moons and you

56:50

see a Libra, a Sagittaris, a

56:53

Scorpio and you say again. What?

56:55

Hmm. Everything about this. Here's what

56:57

I think it doesn't it doesn't

56:59

have to work like it it

57:02

just has to be And I

57:04

think on some level the Virgo

57:06

Taurus areas of it all is

57:08

just kind of It's it's popular

57:11

girls Yeah, like, like, you don't

57:13

have to work very hard because

57:15

you're pretty and, like, high school's

57:17

not that hard. Right. And you

57:20

could. Right. But they're, they're not,

57:22

like, devising strategies. It's like, get

57:24

it to Obey. Like, some people

57:26

can walk through certain arenas of

57:29

life very unchallenged and unencumbered and

57:31

things just kind of like. work

57:33

for them? And I don't know

57:35

if it's like necessarily, I mean,

57:38

in hockey, but it's just sort

57:40

of those things, it's like we're

57:42

just going to go out there

57:44

and play hockey. We're good at

57:47

hockey. And like, yeah, a lot

57:49

of the times you are. And

57:51

then sometimes we just lose and

57:53

it's like, should we try something

57:56

different? No, we're not going to

57:58

do that. You know that saying

58:00

that's like, if you only have

58:02

a hammer. everything looks like a

58:05

nail. Sometimes everything just is a

58:07

nail. And that I feel is

58:09

what this line, this line is

58:11

just a bag of hammers. That's

58:13

true. It's like, could you be

58:16

smarter than a bag of hammers?

58:18

Sure. But like, does it get

58:20

the job done if you need

58:22

to build a stupid looking bookshelf?

58:25

Maybe. A lot of the times

58:27

it's gonna work. This is a

58:29

perfect metaphor actually. Nikki for this

58:31

role. And if you put a

58:34

Sagittarius with a Capricorn moon in

58:36

this place, I can see how

58:38

this would work more effectively. To

58:40

psychologically dominate them. Exactly. But as

58:43

it is, it's fine. It can

58:45

work. It's just like, you know.

58:47

Doesn't have to. Doesn't have to.

58:49

It's fine. Last game, we had

58:52

the premiere of our top defensive

58:54

pairing, an expiring UFA who we

58:56

had to keep because we have

58:58

so many injuries, and our new

59:01

little baby. So this top pairing

59:03

is a Leo with a Pisces.

59:05

The Leo has a Capricorn Moon.

59:07

The Pisces has an Aries Moon.

59:10

It's a mess, but it can

59:12

really be effective sometimes. Not all

59:14

the time. Who are these two

59:16

people? It's Trevor Van Ruhnstein. Rathmus

59:19

is our Pisces with the Aries

59:21

Moon. He's horny. That's... I can

59:23

see why he's been inconsistent in

59:25

the past. Good for him. That's

59:28

a fun one. Like again, it's

59:30

very chaotic and sloppy. But it's

59:32

like, somehow it is a self-sustating

59:34

machine. Yeah, I love it. Absolutely.

59:37

And I just like, I'm fonder

59:39

and fonder of TVR. I know

59:41

it's because he's before my eyeballs

59:43

and no one else is. But

59:45

like, I don't know, I love

59:48

the thought of him getting to

59:50

have a little Pisces, Aries, a

59:52

little enthusiastic Swedish friend who's happy

59:54

to be there. And the thing

59:57

about in Airy's moon is, wow,

59:59

do you start stuff? You just

1:00:01

really love to start stuff. Do

1:00:03

you love to finish stuff? Take

1:00:06

it or leave it. But starting

1:00:08

stuff with no preparation, that's fun.

1:00:10

And I like that. And when

1:00:12

you're going with your feelings first,

1:00:15

that's amazing. That's going to be

1:00:17

so delightful. What can go wrong

1:00:19

when you lead with your emotions

1:00:21

directly into the strongest possible impulse?

1:00:24

Absolutely nothing. And that's why you

1:00:26

have a second demon. So true.

1:00:28

Petition for us to do that

1:00:30

again. I know a lot more

1:00:33

about astrology now, and I feel

1:00:35

like listening to that, I'm like,

1:00:37

ah. I actually should have said

1:00:39

that. I can think I can

1:00:42

make this work actually. I can.

1:00:44

Well I still stand by most

1:00:46

of what was said is like

1:00:48

yeah that especially the D pairing.

1:00:51

But however the D pairing also

1:00:53

has some cardinal action. Also there's

1:00:55

some like important interactions between the

1:00:57

planets totally that I didn't talk

1:01:00

about. There's layers. I think what

1:01:02

you're saying is we need to

1:01:04

do this again. Exactly I have

1:01:06

a lot to say specifically about

1:01:08

Tommy. Oh, because he is a

1:01:11

scorpio moon, but his scorpio moon

1:01:13

is conjunct Jupiter. Oh, yeah. So

1:01:15

it's like he has, he has

1:01:17

pain, but he forgot the pain,

1:01:20

you know? But it's there. It's

1:01:22

out. Body keeps the score. Boy,

1:01:24

who was raised by grandparents. There

1:01:26

it is. Yes. Yep, yeah, yeah,

1:01:29

yeah, yeah. But I think there's

1:01:31

also a key moment in this

1:01:33

clip, which is when Kelly says

1:01:35

the words Nicholas Backstrom and one.

1:01:39

I can't even make the noise.

1:01:41

It's like, huh! On, brand, just...

1:01:43

And we definitely need to revisit

1:01:45

it if only because every single

1:01:47

day of my life, every single

1:01:49

day of my life, I think

1:01:51

about how Nicholas Backstrom and Sydney

1:01:53

Crosby both have a Capricorn move.

1:01:55

I think that every single day,

1:01:57

because it just feels so evocative

1:01:59

to me. In vacatif. And yet,

1:02:01

if you told Nicholas Backstrom,

1:02:03

you were going to dunk him

1:02:05

at NHS All-Star weekend in front

1:02:08

of everyone. You better who would

1:02:10

all be dead. Nikki's a Sagittarius,

1:02:12

he came to leave. It came

1:02:15

to leave. Bye. Absolutely. I think

1:02:17

it's so funny that that shirt

1:02:19

is like a sex thing, because it

1:02:21

isn't. Like, it is like, when do

1:02:23

you know where it's like, I came

1:02:25

to leave? It's not. No, it just,

1:02:27

you just came to leave to leave.

1:02:30

Oh man. Okay, our last one

1:02:32

of this segment, it was requested,

1:02:34

it was the most requested. Maddie,

1:02:36

Jeremy, and Delana all requests of

1:02:38

this on Patreon. And I think

1:02:41

if they hadn't, me and Laura

1:02:43

would have included this anyway, because

1:02:45

it is of course, hockey or

1:02:47

livestock. It's my least favorite segment

1:02:49

because of my squeamishness. I feel

1:02:51

like I know how Dr. Frankenstein felt

1:02:53

when... I'm just going to start

1:02:56

with the first time. I think

1:02:58

I've done everything in my power

1:03:00

to never be on these as

1:03:02

much as possible. Tride your best.

1:03:04

Receded into the background, yeah. Tride

1:03:06

my best. I pulled three different

1:03:09

clips because we've done it three

1:03:11

or four times. So I'm just

1:03:13

going to start with the first

1:03:15

time that we played. Again,

1:03:17

this was an episode named

1:03:19

a goat named war games.

1:03:21

Episode 15 published July 27

1:03:23

2018. And I think you'll

1:03:25

recognize right

1:03:27

away what this is.

1:03:30

He is monster thick,

1:03:32

wide-based, and big-topped.

1:03:35

I can't. He

1:03:38

is monster thick,

1:03:41

and big-topped. That

1:03:43

is definitely a

1:03:45

tweet that you

1:03:48

got from my

1:03:50

Twitter. I thought how like so

1:03:52

much can I don't appreciate it. I

1:03:54

wish I'd thought to do that I

1:03:56

wish I thought to just collect tweets

1:03:59

that we've made But I didn't.

1:04:01

Is it a lead prospect? Or

1:04:03

is it the big cartel site

1:04:05

where I found all this? I

1:04:08

don't know, but I'm changing my

1:04:10

name to monster thing. Yeah, I'm

1:04:12

just sitting here being haunted by

1:04:14

monster thick, rattling through the hallways

1:04:17

of my brain. I have nothing

1:04:19

else to say other than monster

1:04:21

thick. I found this yesterday and

1:04:24

I have not stopped thinking about

1:04:26

it. I'm afraid it's a person,

1:04:28

but I'm also afraid it's a

1:04:30

cow. I know, because if that

1:04:33

fucking livestock is out there, I

1:04:35

do not want to meet it.

1:04:37

Hey, check out my monster-thick cat.

1:04:40

We've got to pick one! Person?

1:04:42

Hockey player? Livestock. Okay, we've got

1:04:44

to split vote again. This time,

1:04:46

Katie is right. It's livestock. It

1:04:49

is a bull named Smiling Bob.

1:04:51

You know why you smiling. these

1:04:53

monster thick one would have a

1:04:56

very incredible. I would never have

1:04:58

guessed that name for that one

1:05:00

though. I was like surely the

1:05:02

monster thick one would have a

1:05:05

very incredible name not smiling Bob.

1:05:07

Smiling Bob. Smiling Bob. Smiling Bob.

1:05:09

Smiling Bob. Smiling Bob. I was

1:05:12

like, I was quick to pull

1:05:14

the trigger the second I heard

1:05:16

it, where I was like, I

1:05:18

would say that immediately. You would

1:05:21

say goat, where I felt like

1:05:23

I knew in my spiritual, in

1:05:25

my heart. You knew it was

1:05:28

like that. An animal. That's alive.

1:05:30

Oh yeah, like in a second.

1:05:32

In a second. God. I know

1:05:34

I know the pervy tone of

1:05:37

a hockey man, you know. Mm-hmm.

1:05:39

I feel like I just got

1:05:41

monster thick. It was... Gaunt, I

1:05:44

hadn't, I had not thought about

1:05:46

monster thick. No, no. But then

1:05:48

as soon as I heard it,

1:05:50

it was like, I remember it

1:05:53

all my life. You're welcome. That's

1:05:55

true. It's the only way to

1:05:57

describe Obey. It's true. Objectively. Yeah.

1:06:00

Monster-thick. Smiling Bob. Smiling. Both of

1:06:02

those worked so well. I think

1:06:04

Smiling Bob is the guy from

1:06:06

those Viagra knock-up commercials. Do you

1:06:09

remember this? Woof. Do you like

1:06:11

back in the like late 90s,

1:06:13

it would be like, Bob had

1:06:16

a great golf game because his

1:06:18

dick was hard. Do you remember

1:06:20

this? Oh yeah! And it turned

1:06:22

out the whole thing with a

1:06:25

scamp. Bob, see-calf. This is Bob.

1:06:27

Bob is doing well. Very well

1:06:29

indeed. I think that, I think

1:06:32

he was named for the erection

1:06:34

man. What, what a sick, sick

1:06:36

world. Six sad world. We also,

1:06:38

didn't we record that episode in

1:06:41

like a hotel room with you

1:06:43

guys? Yeah. So it was also

1:06:45

just like a complete, like an

1:06:48

out-of-body experience for many reasons, but

1:06:50

we're in like a liminal space.

1:06:52

That's why you can hear me

1:06:54

and Daniel shrieking in the background.

1:06:57

Because we were shrieking. Yeah. The

1:06:59

next talk of your livestock came

1:07:01

from episode 22, which was titled,

1:07:04

Severe Magician Face. I remember that

1:07:06

title. It was published November 8th,

1:07:08

2018. Have a listen. He will

1:07:11

make those bakes that will dominate

1:07:13

in the bik. His first bik

1:07:15

has shined a light on the

1:07:17

potential that he really has. I'm

1:07:20

starting to hate this game because

1:07:22

I'm losing. I know. Because you

1:07:24

can't win. It's an unwinnable game.

1:07:27

I'm having a hard time. I

1:07:29

feel fine about it. This is

1:07:31

the Kobayashi Maroo of our podcast.

1:07:33

It is. It's unwinnable. It's an

1:07:36

unwinnable situation. Yeah, except for I

1:07:38

haven't gotten any of them right

1:07:40

now. I'm keeping track obviously. That

1:07:43

is a cow named Man Against

1:07:45

a Machine. He will make those

1:07:47

Hereford steers that dominate in the

1:07:49

show ring. His first calf crop

1:07:52

has shined a light on the

1:07:54

potential. that he really has. Also

1:07:56

can I say hashtag Austin Matthews

1:07:59

for that one? Hashtag Austin Matthews

1:08:01

in a huge way. A cow

1:08:03

named Man Against Machine. That one

1:08:05

was really... I could not. Yeah,

1:08:08

that really could have been either.

1:08:10

It could have been either for

1:08:12

sure. I had that moment I

1:08:15

was thinking hockey. I think you

1:08:17

were right to do so. Yeah,

1:08:19

it should have been. Also, also,

1:08:21

machine is the Toronto. Man against

1:08:24

machine. Truly. Wow, I mean, I

1:08:26

guess I kind of like forgot

1:08:28

that it wasn't just a dumb

1:08:31

game we made up, but like

1:08:33

because it actually really fucking works.

1:08:35

That's what makes it so troubling.

1:08:37

So haunting. Once you hear you

1:08:40

cannot unhere. I think at some

1:08:42

point you guys played a hockey

1:08:44

or porn before this and then

1:08:47

you switched to this and it's

1:08:49

insane that this was more successful.

1:08:51

This is because... It's harder. It's

1:08:53

fucked up. Okay, this last talkier

1:08:56

livestock comes from a season four

1:08:58

bonus, which we called a bull

1:09:00

named Big Casino. It was published

1:09:03

April 24th, 2021. This was a

1:09:05

live episode with video. So there

1:09:07

is something at the end that,

1:09:09

well, first of all, Laura hosted

1:09:12

this. And there's something at the

1:09:14

end that gets revealed in video

1:09:16

that you don't say out loud

1:09:19

for a while, but you will.

1:09:21

And it's worth waiting for. Excellent.

1:09:23

As exciting as Kate Upton in

1:09:25

a wet bikini contest, I have

1:09:28

not modified this one then. Okay,

1:09:30

why would you have a wet

1:09:32

bikini contest, first of all? Because

1:09:35

a bikini. They're supposed to stay,

1:09:37

like, not see-through wet t-shirt. Right.

1:09:39

Be clear here. That's gotta be...

1:09:41

It does have the stink of

1:09:44

toxic masculinity that rolls off of

1:09:46

hockey commentary. Yeah. And also just

1:09:48

like the idea that like that's

1:09:51

as exciting as it's not like

1:09:53

as exciting as Kate Upton like

1:09:55

walking up to you on a

1:09:57

summer's day it's like no you're

1:10:00

just staring at her and it's

1:10:02

wet. I need some firm answers

1:10:04

from you guys on this one

1:10:07

hockey hockey, hockey, just in case.

1:10:09

I love this, I love the

1:10:11

safety we're going for. I'm going

1:10:14

to tell you guys and then

1:10:16

I'm going to ask you to

1:10:18

guess because I think it's fucking

1:10:20

hilarious. So this is a hockey.

1:10:23

Guess who's do you think it

1:10:25

is? It is somebody we all

1:10:27

know and love. Alex. Oh, that's

1:10:30

true. Love and love is a

1:10:32

keyword here and love is yeah,

1:10:34

but she could be using it

1:10:36

sarcastically. Okay, who is this exciting?

1:10:39

Connor McDage, it's good. Connor Mc

1:10:41

Jamie, it probably is. It's not,

1:10:43

it's not, it's not, it's not,

1:10:46

we put it past people in

1:10:48

the olden days, not so much

1:10:50

now, because that's what I know,

1:10:52

we know the vibe, but, but,

1:10:55

but, but who, but who, but

1:10:57

who, but who, but who, but

1:10:59

who, but who, but who, but

1:11:02

who, but who, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:11:04

who, who, I wanted to be

1:11:06

Nicholas Backstrom. God, that would be

1:11:08

dope. Um, Eva, do you have

1:11:11

any nominations? I said Nikki. Oh,

1:11:13

sorry. Okay. Um, butta-da. Even better.

1:11:15

Even better. This is literally what

1:11:18

it says on the 2015 Red

1:11:20

Line report. I did not make

1:11:22

this up. And I could not

1:11:24

have put it better myself. I

1:11:27

hate. sports. I hate sports. Ever

1:11:29

had less of a Kate Upton

1:11:31

in any kind of like like

1:11:34

just the opposite of Kate Upton

1:11:36

like what do you think of?

1:11:38

No kind of kind. I'm sorry

1:11:40

when I see Travis connect me

1:11:43

I think Kate Upton. Not just

1:11:45

Travis Kinnetney, like 2015 Travis Kinnetney,

1:11:47

before he got drafted, so like

1:11:50

17 year old Travis Kinnetney. When

1:11:52

he was just that weird like

1:11:54

potato, it was like the little

1:11:56

kind of. I'm almost like chab

1:11:59

bangs for a while. Yeah, he

1:12:01

had a little like a light

1:12:03

business. Spitting come into his mom's

1:12:06

hand, do not. Kate, I'm doing

1:12:08

a wet beginning, God is. It's

1:12:10

really important to me that Eva

1:12:12

is like, wait a second. I

1:12:15

have a problem with the logic.

1:12:17

Stupid. That doesn't make any sense.

1:12:19

Just for the record. Wow. Wow.

1:12:22

I do hate sports. You know

1:12:24

why it's hard to guess. When

1:12:26

it's hockey man, it's because hockey

1:12:28

men don't understand the truth. Absolutely.

1:12:31

And they never have. They're not

1:12:33

understanders. So they're phrasing is never

1:12:35

correct, so that's why it's really

1:12:38

hard to play witch hockey with

1:12:40

them, because they're so wrong. Right,

1:12:42

because they don't know which hockey,

1:12:44

most of the time. And it's

1:12:47

sad for them, really, but that's

1:12:49

why this podcast is to set

1:12:51

the record straight. Yeah. Daddy's money.

1:12:54

Monster thing. Now I'm going to

1:12:56

go back on that big cartel.

1:12:58

I'm doing it right now. No,

1:13:00

not like this. I have to.

1:13:03

What did you think would happen?

1:13:05

Bull, genetic, material, shopping, Google. Google?

1:13:07

Here we go. They just go

1:13:10

straight up, by the way, if

1:13:12

you Google, it's not like, oh,

1:13:14

lifestyle, it just says beef semen.

1:13:17

Oh, not gonna fuck around. Oh,

1:13:19

I hate myself, I really do.

1:13:21

But the thing is, like, you

1:13:23

didn't do this. Men did this,

1:13:26

and the first two cat. They're

1:13:28

doing it. They're the ones out

1:13:30

here describing things in ways. You're

1:13:33

just collating them. I'm just observing

1:13:35

and noticing. As usual. That's all

1:13:37

I ever do. It's what you

1:13:39

guys do best. Noticing and observing

1:13:42

patterns and schemes. pattern recognition. Sort

1:13:44

by price high to low. Give

1:13:46

me the good stuff. Who's the

1:13:49

lowest price? That's what I'm about

1:13:51

to find out. Oh, I don't

1:13:53

want to know. That'll make me

1:13:55

sad. I don't want to know

1:13:58

either. All good

1:14:00

cows. It is funny

1:14:02

when one of them like goes on

1:14:04

sale though. You're like, what happened?

1:14:06

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. What

1:14:08

occurred in this family? What market

1:14:10

conditions? What did you learn about vigilante?

1:14:12

Just kidding, vigilante's $40, it's fine.

1:14:14

Yeah, when we say high price, what

1:14:16

are we talking about? What is

1:14:18

a high price? You know, it's usually

1:14:20

in the $20 to $60 range

1:14:22

for Angus, which is what I'm looking

1:14:24

at right now. Angus,

1:14:27

sure. 60 would be

1:14:29

very high, but

1:14:31

you do see it. Not impossible. You

1:14:33

know, the first two kinds of

1:14:35

cow that are on here are Angus

1:14:37

and Brangus. Stop

1:14:39

that, that's not real. That's not

1:14:41

real life, Brangus. That's like the

1:14:43

names, that's like the fake names

1:14:46

they generate for your farm animals

1:14:48

on Stardew Valley. I don't know

1:14:50

what to tell you that the

1:14:52

URL here is Brangus semen for sale.

1:14:54

Brangus, Brangus. I put it in

1:14:56

the don't want to be on

1:14:58

these segments. This is my son, Brangus.

1:15:00

These are my two sons, Angus

1:15:03

and Brangus. It's in Brangus. They're twins.

1:15:06

The first Angus is called

1:15:08

maternal power, so it's

1:15:10

for women's empowerment, actually. Thanks,

1:15:12

guys. Thanks for doing

1:15:15

one for the chicks. Anyway,

1:15:17

that was our beautiful walk down

1:15:19

memory lane. Thanks for joining me. Holy

1:15:21

crap, I loved that. Thank you

1:15:23

so much for putting that together. This

1:15:25

is such a joy. A real

1:15:28

treat for us. I feel so affirmed

1:15:30

as well. Yeah, I don't think

1:15:32

we were wrong about it. I think

1:15:34

what we've learned is that we've

1:15:36

never been wrong about anything. I was

1:15:38

actually going to do a segment

1:15:40

that was like, do you still feel

1:15:42

this way? Like confront you with

1:15:44

your bad opinions and you didn't have

1:15:46

enough for me to make a

1:15:48

segment out of it. So good job.

1:15:50

Wow. Give it to us. Too

1:15:53

consistent. Yeah. Too powerful. But yeah, the

1:15:55

work for this episode was from

1:15:57

Danielle. I'm just a happy participant. So

1:15:59

good. Danielle, thanks. Thank you for this

1:16:01

and also for all the work

1:16:03

you do to edit the podcast.

1:16:05

Truly. Which is no small fee.

1:16:07

Truly. It never has been. We

1:16:09

love you very much. So much.

1:16:11

Love you too. Thanks. We love

1:16:14

producers. It's been so fun being

1:16:16

on the podcast with you guys.

1:16:18

Our producers are the best. I

1:16:20

know. It's always my favorite. I

1:16:22

love when we get to where

1:16:24

we get to be produced. It's

1:16:26

my favorite It's a privilege to

1:16:28

be produced And it's a privilege

1:16:30

for you guys that you get

1:16:33

to hear the producer's voices because

1:16:35

they're secret Honestly, yes, but they're

1:16:37

so funny and they're so Well,

1:16:40

that's all from us for now.

1:16:42

Thanks to Break Master Cylinder for

1:16:44

our theme music. Thanks to Kay

1:16:46

Wilson for our cover art. Thanks

1:16:49

to our beautiful hosts, Eva Kelly

1:16:51

and Rave. We love you. You're

1:16:53

very funny and you always have

1:16:56

been. We've always sent them. Thank

1:16:58

you for the positive reinforcement. Thank

1:17:00

you for 200 episodes. And thank you

1:17:02

to all the people who have listened

1:17:04

to us from day one and continue

1:17:06

to do so for people who just

1:17:08

found us. You give us life as

1:17:10

well. What a good fun time we

1:17:12

all have here at you can't do that

1:17:15

dot gov. We love you all so

1:17:17

much. Yes. Yes. Do you ever think

1:17:19

about how one direction is the reason

1:17:21

why we're here? I think about it

1:17:24

all the time, Molly. I think about

1:17:26

it all the time. Right? That's all

1:17:28

I think about. Yeah. You know what's

1:17:30

wild? I was never a one-direction fan.

1:17:33

She never gave a shit for one

1:17:35

second. Amazing. That's important. That's important. Never

1:17:37

in my life. We wouldn't be able

1:17:39

to do this if we didn't have

1:17:42

someone who was right untouched by them.

1:17:44

But when we were originally talking about,

1:17:46

we want to do another podcast, Danielle

1:17:48

and I had produced one together before

1:17:50

this and we said we want to

1:17:52

do another one, we don't really want

1:17:55

to host it. And I was like,

1:17:57

I know these girls who were really

1:17:59

funny. I didn't already know know

1:18:01

who you were. As my work desk

1:18:03

at the time wasn't covered

1:18:05

in One Direction hashtag materials.

1:18:07

direction hashtag Anyway, and now here

1:18:09

we are, you know. now here

1:18:12

we are, you know, so What a

1:18:14

gift. Simon Simon Cowell and Tom

1:18:16

Wilson are the two people

1:18:18

you have to thank today.

1:18:20

Tom pretty much. I really

1:18:22

have to give it the two who

1:18:24

you have to think today. Yes, very much. Really have

1:18:26

to give it up to. that was

1:18:28

so fun you guys, was so

1:18:30

Thanks you guys. Wow. Good shit.