0:00

You made it weird. You

0:02

made it weird. You made

0:04

it weird. You made it

0:07

weird. You made it weird.

0:09

You made it weird. With

0:11

Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos?

0:14

I am thrilled to

0:16

bring Christian Dugae

0:18

onto this show. If

0:20

you've been listening to

0:23

this podcast over the

0:25

past hot pee on that

0:27

one, over the past... four months.

0:30

I've been talking incessantly

0:32

about my favorite podcast, Valley

0:34

Heat. Not only is Valley Heat

0:36

my favorite podcast, I think it's

0:38

the best thing of 2025. I think

0:41

it's certain 2024, but it's

0:43

so good. It's already one 2025.

0:45

Every single person I've turned onto

0:47

this podcast has written me

0:49

a handwritten thank you note.

0:51

That's an exaggeration, but it

0:53

is, I'm kind of talking

0:55

like Valley Heat. It's an

0:58

exaggeration, but... Everyone, my brother-in-law,

1:00

Derek, obviously Val, my friend

1:02

saying, everybody I send it

1:04

to is like, thank you,

1:06

it's pure, hilarious, silly, I'm gonna

1:08

play you a clip, because that's the

1:10

best way to know it. We're gonna

1:12

play a little three minute clip

1:14

here of the Valley Heat podcast.

1:16

And it'll give you a taste,

1:19

and I think that will inform

1:21

how you appreciate some of our

1:23

conversations. But Christian is incredible. Apart

1:25

from Valley Heat, we get into

1:27

that, but there is a lot

1:29

of Valley Heat talk, so I

1:31

want you to familiarize yourself. What

1:33

am I, your professor? That's a

1:35

Valley Heat style joke. Anyway, familiarize

1:38

yourself with the show. So, Katie, Joe, here's

1:40

a little taste of Valley Heat. My

1:42

optometrist Dean, who is mad at me

1:44

for using the car wash across the

1:46

street, upsold my 15-year-old son Phil on

1:48

transition lenses. I don't know if you

1:50

know what transition lenses are. Those lenses

1:52

that are supposed to get darker when

1:54

you go outside in the sun, but

1:56

they don't get real dark. They just

1:58

get kind of dark. and you can

2:00

still see the person's eyes behind them. And

2:02

no matter what the person wearing them

2:05

tries to do, they always look like they're

2:07

trying to spy on you from the

2:09

bushes. So yesterday, I walk in his bedroom

2:11

and he's wearing these transition lenses that

2:13

make him look like he was fired from

2:15

a library somewhere for licking books or

2:17

something. You know, these things just make him

2:19

look super suspicious. No one should put

2:21

a 15 -year -old kid in transition lenses. I

2:23

mean, you talk about sealing someone's fate.

2:25

Give a kid a chance before you turn

2:28

him into a hitchhiker with mugshots all

2:30

over the country. You know, it reminds me

2:32

of when parents named their kids after

2:34

some jazz trumpet player or something from the

2:36

50s or 60s. You hear them at

2:38

a park, you know, calling to their kids,

2:40

and the kids name something like Gillespie

2:42

or something. That kid doesn't deserve that. You

2:44

named your kid Dizzy Gillespie, Paul Simon

2:46

Garfunkel? Peterson. Yeah, that's his grandfather's name. I

2:49

mean, you can't let your kid find

2:51

his own identity? I mean, we get it.

2:53

You have one of those really expensive

2:55

analog stereos and you like jazz vinyl. But

2:57

come on. No one wants to grow

2:59

up named Kat Stevens Coltrane, and no one

3:01

wants to look back at their yearbook

3:03

picture from high school and see a guy

3:05

in a pair of transition lenses. You

3:07

know, you see that and you go, I

3:10

guess your parents weren't looking out for

3:12

you, were they? Let's just let our kids

3:14

create their own personality and let's not

3:16

put them in transition lenses and let's not

3:18

name them guns and roses. They deserve

3:20

better than either of those things. And I

3:22

know why Dean did this. I don't

3:24

know if you remember, but my neighbor across

3:26

the street, Gary Janthedy, installed a drive -thru

3:28

car wash in his driveway and then

3:30

turned his backyard into a Chicago -style pittoria

3:33

and then converted the garage into an 80s

3:35

-style arcade. And it made a lot of

3:37

people in the neighborhood really angry. But

3:39

Gary asked me to drive through the car

3:41

wash to show everybody that it was

3:43

okay to go through the car wash. So

3:45

I did it a one -time favor, but

3:47

Dean was so mad at me and

3:49

then Nick, my other neighbor, ran into the

3:51

car wash and was screaming at me

3:54

and he got burned with hot wax and

3:56

sprained his shoulder on one of those

3:58

brushes in those car washes that like twisted

4:00

his arm. So there's a bunch of

4:02

people in the neighborhood who are mad at

4:04

me for going through that car wash

4:06

and Dean is one of them. And I think my

4:08

son had an appointment with him and Dean thought this was an opportunity to get

4:10

back at me and upsold him on these lenses. I walked into my son's room

4:12

the other day and he's sitting at his desk looking like a guy waiting to

4:14

meet his parole officer in these glasses. So I recorded it.

4:17

Let me just play it for you.

4:19

Hey. Are those your new glasses? Are

4:21

they still dark? They're a little dark.

4:23

I don't really know how to do

4:25

it because they're... weird. I would take

4:27

them off, but I can't see without

4:30

them. So I'm stuck in this state

4:32

of either being blind or weird. Did

4:34

you just come in from the outside?

4:36

Are they still changing to clear maybe?

4:38

If anything, these get darker. I go

4:40

inside. You're fine. You're fine. Do not

4:42

pretend that I'm fine? I'm not fine.

4:45

I look weird. Okay. Yeah, obviously not

4:47

ideal. Of course they're not ideal. Ideal

4:49

would be me looking like a

4:51

normal person. I look like someone

4:53

who's been following you. Okay, so

4:55

you heard that, and he's not

4:57

wrong. They look weird. And I

4:59

feel bad for him. He won't

5:01

go outside. His friends, he said, won't

5:03

ride bikes with him. All right, we're

5:05

back. We're getting into it. We're

5:08

going into the pod with Christian

5:10

Dugay, who I was literally starstruck

5:12

to sit down with him because

5:14

I'm such a huge fan, obviously.

5:17

So listen to this podcast,

5:19

check out Valley Heat, join his patron.

5:21

He's not a very big... pusher of the

5:24

podcast. So I will happily push it for

5:26

him. You have to listen to Good Morning

5:28

Burbank, which is the patron version of Valley

5:30

Heat. A lot of those episodes are, I'm

5:32

going to say, even better than Valley Heat,

5:35

and you can get it for like a

5:37

couple bucks. So go on his patron as

5:39

well, Valley Heat podcast and enjoy it. And

5:41

write me a handwritten thank you note when

5:44

you get into it. And speaking of get

5:46

into it, go to Pete holmes.com for all

5:48

my tour dates. All of my tour dates.

5:50

They're all on there. It's

5:52

the PG-13 tour. It's a kind

5:54

of dirty, very funny comedy tour,

5:57

but not filthy. Not filthy.

5:59

PG-13. Enjoy it. Pete Holmes dot

6:01

com. It's a new hour so I

6:03

will be going all over the place

6:06

even places I've been semi recently so

6:08

I hope you can be there Pete

6:10

Holmes dot com. All right Valley Heat

6:13

check it out and enjoy this podcast

6:15

get into it. I put this as

6:17

new this is dad grass have you

6:19

ever had? It's got a little bit

6:22

of weed and it's if you want

6:24

it's actually THC. It's funny that it's

6:26

called dad grass because I think dad's

6:29

probably if I get the most stoned

6:31

like it. It's like, let's open up

6:33

the market to dads. The most stony

6:35

people. It's actually interesting. There's like, it's

6:38

hemp. And you know how like in

6:40

Amsterdam you can buy mushrooms, but if

6:42

they're truffles, like they passed a law

6:45

that you can't sell mushrooms anymore. So

6:47

then they like started selling truffles because

6:49

truffles aren't technically, it's boring. It's like

6:51

drug theory. It's not boring. You can't

6:54

sell mushrooms in Amsterdam? They stop that,

6:56

but you can still buy silicilicide on

6:58

a silicibon on a truffle. And there's

7:01

something similar going on with hemp. Why

7:03

can't you buy mushrooms? Why? They were

7:05

tired of the fucking Swedish tourists playing

7:07

grab ass in the Van Goe Museum.

7:10

Oh, because everyone was high. But you

7:12

can buy, you can buy just food

7:14

mushrooms. You just can't buy. Oh yeah,

7:17

I'm sorry, psychoactive mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

7:19

yeah. Yeah, so they outlawed those. Similarly,

7:21

you can't. I've been watching listening. It's

7:23

funny that I said watching. It's such

7:26

an active... You're never going to meet

7:28

a bigger Valley Heat fan. I'm going

7:30

to say that. Thank you. I'm going

7:33

to say watching Valley Heat and I'm

7:35

always like, my neighbor was like, you

7:37

send it to me but I can't,

7:39

I don't see anything. And he was

7:42

like a guy who definitely is not

7:44

going to like this show or he's

7:46

not going to understand it. And I

7:49

was like, okay, well, it's just, it's

7:51

a podcast, you listen. And then finally

7:53

I could tell, like, he walks his

7:55

dog past me and he would, I

7:58

can't. tell he was kind of avoiding

8:00

me and I was like this poor

8:02

man I can listen to this show

8:05

do you think he did listen to

8:07

it he figured it out oh he

8:09

absolutely did he was avoiding me

8:11

and then he was like well so

8:13

much so do you do any other

8:15

podcasts that's what he said that was his

8:17

review and I was like now it's the

8:20

one I'm dead inside well can I say though

8:22

there's like an older guy there's a great I'm

8:24

I stand by Bill Cosby in every way. I'm

8:26

just kidding. But there's a great Bill Cosby quote.

8:29

What a monster. But he said the key, I

8:31

don't know the key to success, but the key

8:33

to failure is trying to please everybody. Let's pray

8:35

that he didn't say that. Maybe it was Stephen

8:38

Hawking, which I don't know who could have said

8:40

it, that would be okay with it. You really

8:42

could just invent anyone who said it. That's true.

8:44

Keiano Reeves said that. I mean, he said this,

8:46

and he said it to me. And he said

8:49

it to me. I saw a quote attributed to

8:51

Snoop Dog on Facebook, I knew it

8:53

wasn't him, but I wrote it on

8:56

my bathroom mirror, it meant so much,

8:58

and I still think it was Snoop

9:00

Dog, and it's, don't get upset hearing

9:03

something you already knew. And I think

9:05

of that constantly. Like you call your

9:07

parents and they're annoying you in this

9:09

way. That was like the first thing

9:11

I learned in therapy. Is that right?

9:13

I mean, I can't believe. Yeah, that

9:16

they were. Yeah, he goes, yeah, you

9:18

can. I can believe it, you're

9:20

right. I am obsessed with

9:22

that, that human beings would

9:25

rather... I think neutral is a very

9:27

unpleasant sensation for us, so it would

9:29

rather be chiding and raging and being

9:31

upset and knowing that you exist, not

9:33

to get too deep right away, but

9:36

like, you're real, you fucking have shit

9:38

going on, then just be like, oh,

9:40

my dad's exactly how he's been my

9:42

whole life. But that's a scary place.

9:44

We start to vanish in that position.

9:46

Yes. It's a very like, kind of

9:49

Buddhist like, which I swear to fucking

9:51

God, dude, you're not going to get

9:53

a lot of this, maybe. But I

9:55

think Doug Dugay, there's something

9:58

about him and the way that he... engages

10:00

with life that I think is a

10:02

little groovy I won't I won't say

10:04

I feel like it came that the

10:06

show really came out of therapy is

10:08

that right I wasn't like oh I

10:11

came up with it in therapy yeah

10:13

but I have a really great therapist

10:15

and I've had him for probably 12

10:17

or 13 years and And he's having

10:19

an affair with your neighbor. What's that?

10:21

He's having a fair with your neighbor.

10:23

Yes, exactly. There's going to be a

10:26

lot of valued references in this episode.

10:28

It's funny because when I went in,

10:30

like when I first met him, he

10:32

had like sandals on and hit a

10:34

dog with like a handkerchief around his

10:36

neck and I was like, I can

10:38

just talk to one of my neighbors

10:41

for free. But he was a... You

10:43

want a little circumstance. You want just

10:45

like so, you know, he's in shorts

10:47

and you're like, this is... Okay. I

10:49

don't even like my UPS drivers and

10:51

shorts. I want a little formality out

10:53

there. I do. Want a long pant.

10:56

You're out there with my packages. Are

10:58

your balls on my package? Yeah, exactly.

11:00

You don't want to show up in

11:02

like those really short jogging. I only...

11:04

this on stage once and I got

11:06

a laugh and I was just like

11:08

sometimes you do a bit and you're

11:11

like that's an unrepeatable I just I'm

11:13

not even gonna try I know I

11:15

can't wear shorts yeah I want my

11:17

daughter to respect me. That's what I

11:19

said, but it just came out in

11:21

this way. Like I can't expect my

11:23

daughter to listen to me if I'm

11:26

wearing half my pants. Right, it's true.

11:28

It's funny because I used to have,

11:30

I had a thing where I for

11:32

a long time did not understand how

11:34

short shorts were supposed to be. How

11:36

short there was a transition in like,

11:38

I think like the mid 90s where.

11:41

Shorts started getting longer. Yeah, but I

11:43

was had just been in the forest

11:45

the whole time. So I just came

11:47

bounding out. I like worked for this.

11:49

Were you really? You were in the

11:51

forest. Well, I lived in Maine. from

11:53

like 14 on and I worked for

11:56

like a rafting expedition company and I

11:58

did videography that's where I kind of

12:00

learned how to edit was putting those

12:02

videos together and I I when I

12:04

left to come to LA sorry we

12:06

have to step out the fun that

12:08

you learned to edit in the woods

12:11

of Maine yes it's really the best

12:13

school go into the wilderness the trees

12:15

will tell you where to where to

12:17

cut a waterfall knows a transition there's

12:19

a waterfall transition there's a waterfall transition

12:21

the first dissolve the first dissolve you're

12:24

You're right. That's hilarious. So you didn't,

12:26

you came out of your excursion. Well,

12:28

I had this thing where I had

12:30

like really short cutoffs, like really short.

12:32

Would you cool now? What's that? Are

12:34

they cool now? I think they might

12:36

be back. I mean, not for us.

12:39

Not for me. I mean, I don't

12:41

think they were ever cool on me

12:43

because I feel like I came bounding

12:45

out of the woods in those shorts

12:47

and I think I was with my

12:49

family at. Magic Mountain at one point

12:51

and like some girls food just fell

12:54

out of her mouth laughing Oh my

12:56

god Well, this is the 90s when

12:58

the short would end like almost below

13:00

the knee like I really horn like

13:02

pants that are too short is what

13:04

they look like their capri pants. Yeah,

13:06

or when they come down to here.

13:09

Yeah, you're wearing a capri. You're wearing

13:11

like a boat pant. Yeah, like you

13:13

don't want to get the cuff of

13:15

your I'm talking like Valley Heat, by

13:17

the way. My wife has pointed out

13:19

that since becoming a rabid fan of

13:21

Valley Heat, I can't stop. First of

13:24

all, I can't do it. So with

13:26

full respect, I can't do it. In

13:28

fact, I think that's the only true

13:30

compliment is if I try to do

13:32

what you're doing on that show, I

13:34

sound like a guy who's doing a

13:36

bit. You know that that sound? Yeah.

13:39

And you never sound like you're doing

13:41

a bit. Even if it's completely ridiculous.

13:43

Thanks. I'm like, it's real. Is that

13:45

right? It's important in that show that

13:47

nothing sounds like a bit. And sometimes

13:49

I'm never quite sure. I'm like, I'll

13:51

have to cut something. Anything that's like

13:54

pointing to the joke. But I'm not

13:56

saying it's never there. Yeah. I definitely

13:58

am trying to not do that. As

14:00

a fan, one of the ways I

14:02

appreciate comedy, like a magician watching another

14:04

magician, so I'm not trying to catch

14:06

you, but I'll say I've never once

14:09

heard you do something that I'm like,

14:11

oh, he went over the line. That's

14:13

great. And I've kind of waited for

14:15

it because I'm fascinated. So what I'm

14:17

saying is, Valley Heat, for those, I've

14:19

been mentioning it so much on this.

14:21

Thank you. Oh, I've been to thank

14:24

you for that. I meant to thank

14:26

you for that. Thank you, thanks. And

14:28

even the way we're talking right now,

14:30

when I say rambling, I mean that

14:32

in the best possible way, almost keros

14:34

and kelerish, kind of like, there's like

14:36

a flow to it where it's like,

14:39

you know, when you go to your

14:41

therapist and he's wearing shorts, it's like,

14:43

could you put on a long pan,

14:45

I'm talking, but see, I can't. No,

14:47

I know what you mean. I can't

14:49

do it, but it's so natural. It's

14:51

like the Woods of Fame. That's what

14:54

you learn in the Woods of Maine.

14:56

Yeah. And when someone like me, for

14:58

better or worse, I've been in the

15:00

clubs and doing the jokes, like

15:02

I've learned how to tell. Then

15:04

I indicate to the audience that I'm

15:06

telling you a joke and you're just

15:09

never doing that. I mean, but I

15:11

scream. Sorry, I scream laugh. Thank you.

15:13

At every episode of El heat. Scream.

15:16

There are moments where we're covering our

15:18

face and one more compliment and then

15:20

I swear I'm going to give it

15:22

to you. It's one of those things

15:25

like I think you should leave where

15:27

you laugh when you listen to it.

15:29

But then when you explain it to

15:32

someone else, you cry. to explain Pete

15:34

the Pool Guy's mugs to somebody. You'll just

15:36

find, you can't do it. Yeah, yeah. And

15:38

you're kind of like, it's hard to explain,

15:41

it's like explaining a dream or something,

15:43

but you're experiencing it again. That's great. In

15:45

the retelling, it's almost funnier. I can't tell

15:47

anybody, I mean, if I try to talk

15:49

to my wife Emily, Emily, my mother. Yes,

15:52

and she's in and she plays my

15:54

wife, but she, but I can't, you know.

15:56

I talk about the ideas I talk about

15:58

the ideas I'm having. so much that

16:00

all I experience is like, I really

16:02

don't have time to process any more

16:05

valley heat information. I will say I've

16:07

worried about, let's get, let's not forget

16:09

to talk about Doug's groving us, because

16:11

that's what we were on. Okay. But

16:13

I have worried, there's so much in

16:15

an episode of valley heat, it almost

16:17

borders on insanity. Like I worry, not

16:19

really. But I go like, poor Christian,

16:21

I mean like. There have been late

16:24

nights, some very late nights, but sometimes

16:26

those late nights are very are good

16:28

and you get you get good mistakes

16:30

I think a lot of it is

16:32

recognizing good mistakes yeah like there's certain

16:34

things where I don't think I would

16:36

have thought of that like because you

16:38

were down to the wire well no

16:40

I wish I was I mean I

16:43

could use some down to the wire

16:45

people really I don't I don't make

16:47

them on a schedule which really is

16:49

infuriating to some people. Because that's on

16:51

the show, you often say like people

16:53

are mad that I have them. People

16:55

do, they'll be like, one guy was

16:57

like, what am I paying you for?

17:00

For the patron or the Max Fun

17:02

on Max Fun Network? What am I

17:04

paying you for? He goes, I love

17:06

the show, but you can count me

17:08

out. And I was like, count it

17:10

out. That, I've been fired. First of

17:12

all. What am I paying you for?

17:14

The episode I was listening to, you're

17:16

one of the rare guests where I'm

17:19

not listening to you for research. I

17:21

would have been listening to Valley Heat

17:23

if you were, if it was a

17:25

different guest. That's just what I listened

17:27

to when I'm driving. But here I

17:29

am, I'm like, oh look, I'm doing

17:31

my diligence. And it says like, you

17:33

made the joke. where someone says to

17:35

you, you have no idea what you're

17:38

into or you're in way or your

17:40

head. What you're, what you're, that's my,

17:42

it really is my favorite thing in

17:44

a movie when they go, you have

17:46

no idea what you're up against. I

17:48

will always say it, they always have,

17:50

and it's clearly the writer who's like,

17:52

they're up against something, right? There's motivation

17:55

here, something's gonna happen. idea what you're

17:57

up again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like

17:59

keep it vague. We saw the poster.

18:01

You're in a way. And then that

18:03

was the other part is that the

18:05

resisting the call, which is a mythic

18:07

trope. I think that it is a

18:09

thing that happens. No, I think it

18:11

happens, but I think that it is

18:14

done well. We don't, we don't go.

18:16

It's not just like you got to

18:18

go down there and avenge your son.

18:20

He's like, I'm not, I don't do

18:22

that anymore. Like, well, we have seen

18:24

the commercial. We know that you do

18:26

it. Obviously, that's why we bought a

18:28

ticket. Yeah, and you reference the Kate

18:30

Winslet show. What was that called? They

18:33

had a weird name. Too old man

18:35

was trying to the detective show you

18:37

watched it. It's oh, yeah. I loved

18:39

I loved it What was it called?

18:41

It was called it was her name

18:43

for a lease or something What is

18:45

it Mary's down? Yeah, Mary's down. Yeah,

18:47

Mary's down. Mary's down. I loved that

18:50

Mary's what was it? It was a

18:52

thing. She has to turn in her

18:54

bad. Oh, yeah in the middle of

18:56

it I would be so angry. It

18:58

was like okay. This is cheating You're

19:00

just cheating in an episode so that

19:02

she has to go wander around the

19:04

house and not know what to do

19:06

with her. And I'm not kidding. I

19:09

wonder if this is why you put

19:11

these two rants together on the show.

19:13

It's like the bridge of a song.

19:15

The, Kate Winslet turning in her badge

19:17

is the bridge. in the season of

19:19

a show. You're right. It's the treading

19:21

water. Yes. It's edging. It's saying like,

19:23

you want to kick? Yeah, what if

19:25

the song wasn't good? But it is

19:28

good, remember? Yeah. You know what I

19:30

thought of was in Welcome to Paradise,

19:32

the Green Day song? I don't know

19:34

if you know Green Day. There's a

19:36

long breakdown where they're really like just

19:38

not giving it to you. Really? It's

19:40

the baseline of do-do-do-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo It's like a

19:42

kind of kind of solos, but not

19:45

really. And it's just so you can

19:47

both, dear mother, can, and everyone gets

19:49

really excited. Oh, that's cool. So there's

19:51

like this build-up. It's a build-up. It's

19:53

not really a- And that's what Kate

19:55

wins that handing her. Okay, yes. That's

19:57

the bridge of a show. And those

19:59

two rants are next to each other.

20:01

I'm the guy at Yale. It reads

20:04

too much into it. I'm like there's

20:06

a reason for a structural perfection is

20:08

why she turned her badge in we

20:10

need the bridge in this series Okay,

20:12

let's slow down because I'm really excited

20:14

and I'm going to valley heat and

20:16

I've gave myself the note I was

20:18

like let's ease into it. Let's talk

20:20

about you. I don't like talking about

20:23

it. I mean no I want for

20:25

the audience I mean I appreciate that

20:27

but if it's not I mean I

20:29

bore Emily and my kids talking about

20:31

ideas and really walk into the garage.

20:33

I'm like listen to this song. They're

20:35

like just in here. Do you do

20:37

the music? That is my question I

20:40

have for you. You're Randy. Yeah, I

20:42

knew is Nick Thune playing Randy? No,

20:44

Dren and Davis. Okay, I knew whoever

20:46

was playing Randy. See, I'm a super

20:48

nerd fan. I don't think that's the

20:50

guy singing, but I thought it was

20:52

you because you went to Berkeley. I

20:54

did in Boston. I wanted to go

20:56

to go to Berkeley. Yeah. for music

20:59

production, wait, before I realized what I

21:01

liked about using a four-track was playing

21:03

the songs. You know what I'm saying?

21:05

I hadn't yet greenlit my own ambition

21:07

that I wanted to play songs and

21:09

I wanted to... be the voice and

21:11

the artist. So I was too shy.

21:13

So I was like, oh, I turn

21:15

the nomps. And then you're like, oh,

21:18

I want to make this music. I'll

21:20

make it for other people. Like, I

21:22

have no interest in that. But it

21:24

took me another couple years in high

21:26

school to like green light. No, I

21:28

want to be on the stage. When

21:30

you, what kind of recording was there

21:32

when you were in high school? Like,

21:35

did you, what was I using? Yeah.

21:37

It was a taskam little four. Yeah,

21:39

I love that. I had to rent

21:41

it for $25 from the music store.

21:43

Oh my God. And I never made

21:45

anything that I really, you always were

21:47

like, well, I just play guitar. So

21:49

it's like four guitars layered on top

21:51

of it. But it's like, but I

21:54

have it. I have four tracks. And

21:56

type two cassettes. You had to get

21:58

type two. Oh, I forgot about this.

22:00

So type two means they have more,

22:02

maybe more track. Yeah, I don't know.

22:04

More, better coding or something? You couldn't

22:06

foretrack on a type one. And then

22:08

if you really loved it, you'd go

22:10

in with a screwdriver and break the

22:13

tab off of it, which would make it so

22:15

you can't record over it. Do you remember

22:17

that? Yes, I do. Isn't that a trip?

22:19

Because I just found a cassette that had

22:22

me, I used to, one of my

22:24

favorite albums when I was a

22:26

story of Star Wars, remember that.

22:28

Remember that. The story of Star

22:30

Wars was just the movie. This is

22:32

before VHS. It was just the movie

22:35

on a record. So it was like,

22:37

that's exactly what you thought. It was

22:39

like, what? I can have the movie

22:41

in my house all day long. And

22:43

so you would just listen to it.

22:45

And it started with Alec Guinness goes,

22:47

a long time ago in the galaxy

22:49

far. He reads it. Okay. And then

22:51

the rest of it is just the

22:54

movie. And it was like magic. And

22:56

I used to read. the back of

22:58

that album and I used to like

23:00

try to do stories on tape and

23:02

I found one yeah and my dad

23:04

I and my dad died a couple

23:06

years ago but he he left all

23:08

these cassettes and I found one that

23:11

said Chris on it and it was

23:13

written like I didn't even know there

23:15

was an H in my name yet

23:17

I guess and I was like oh

23:19

I gotta hear this It was just

23:21

completely taped over with a band with

23:24

a bluegrass. Oh no. Yeah, he just

23:26

loved bluegrass. Oh no. Which in, I

23:28

mean, every song's exactly the same. I

23:30

know. Could we try a... How about

23:32

this one? There's a really long banjo

23:34

solo. Yeah. I'm so with you. And

23:36

kind of like a quaint metaphor for

23:39

life. Like I keep my skillet good

23:41

and greasy or something and then it's and

23:43

then it's just that over and over. It

23:45

always was kind of like that but then

23:47

suddenly death and yeah yeah. Yeah well it's

23:49

the third verse of you are my sunshine

23:51

or the second verse. Oh what's the second

23:53

verse? The other night dear the other night

23:55

year as I lay sleeping I dreamt I

23:57

held you in my arms when I awoke.

23:59

I was mistaken, so I hang my

24:02

head and cry. It's a very sad

24:04

song to sing your baby. Just stick

24:06

to the first first. Oh, you're gone,

24:08

meaning you're dead. She's dead, she's gone,

24:11

it's over. A lot of those. See,

24:13

for me, I was like, oh, she

24:15

just wasn't in the house, she went

24:17

to work. Okay, I'll take that as

24:20

a segue. For people who haven't heard

24:22

me going on and on and on

24:24

and on about it. Valleheat is a

24:26

podcast where you play Doug Dugay, your

24:29

name is Christian Dugay, but you play

24:31

Doug Dugay, who's reporting on the events

24:33

in Burbank, the Rancho Equestrian neighborhood. Yeah.

24:35

And it's, I don't know how to

24:38

explain it, I've never listened to a

24:40

podcast like it, but it follows this

24:42

one guy, making a podcast and the

24:44

things that happened to him. And we're

24:47

going back to that therapy thing. Yeah.

24:49

I wrote this down when we got

24:51

in touch and I was like, killing

24:53

the swan while we're dissecting it. Because

24:56

it's such a precious thing to me,

24:58

enjoying this show. But I'm curious, like,

25:00

how your therapy and stuff. Doug is

25:02

very unafraid. He's very like, and Chuck

25:05

has a problem with me, so I'm

25:07

gonna call him, and he calls him.

25:09

And he's also, things are always falling

25:11

apart around him. And this is the

25:14

weird thing I wanted to say to

25:16

you. When I started listening to it.

25:18

And it's so funny, but to Doug

25:20

it's his life, and then you realize

25:23

your life is funny. Like, we have

25:25

a gardener, our neighbor has a gardener,

25:27

who comes every day. He really bothers

25:29

me. I've talked to my neighbor, and

25:32

she told me that she pays him

25:34

to come on Friday. So this guy,

25:36

he still comes every day. He comes

25:38

every day. And he smokes cigarettes, so

25:41

you can smell him. And he's got

25:43

a cell phone tucked into his hat.

25:45

So we call him triple cancer. I

25:47

mean, he's in the sun all day

25:50

smoking and he's got a full triple

25:52

cancer. He's triple cancer and he's just

25:54

constantly leaf blowing. So it's such a

25:56

valley heat, I'm not pitching that to

25:59

you. I'm saying. I went from being

26:01

annoyed to kind of looking at

26:03

it like Doug and being like, I

26:05

don't know if this guy is just

26:07

like looking to like promote himself like

26:09

for people to see him, but you

26:11

start looking at it in a comedy

26:14

way instead of just like a fucking.

26:16

It's like the difference between my life

26:18

and like this is my life. Yeah,

26:20

your life is funny. Yes, my dog

26:22

jumps on me. That's funny. Yeah. Like

26:24

so. Hearing Doug's kind of Zen,

26:26

almost like fringing on a big

26:28

Labowski, things happen to him, he's

26:31

always in the wrong place the

26:33

wrong time, but he goes with

26:35

it and he's very unafraid. I

26:37

just would love to hear your

26:39

thoughts on the character. Well, he

26:41

wasn't like that when I first

26:43

thought of it. I was doing

26:45

these Instagram stories as a joke

26:47

because there was really a Jaguar

26:49

parked outside on the curb for

26:51

ever. And it was, first it

26:53

drove me crazy. And then it

26:55

was just funny and I was and

26:57

I started doing this bit where I

27:00

was filming it to see if because

27:02

if it doesn't move you can have

27:04

a toad which I wouldn't do.

27:06

Yeah. And then I didn't care that.

27:08

You're putting chalk on the wheel. Yeah.

27:11

Yeah. And I just started using

27:13

things like that in the Instagram

27:15

and I was acting as though

27:17

I was bothered by it. Yeah.

27:19

And my neighbor I realized Airbnb.

27:21

it was air being his home

27:23

across the street and they seem

27:25

very self-conscious about it doesn't bother

27:27

me at all but I thought it was

27:29

funny if it did bother me yes

27:31

and I started posting about it and

27:34

then people said he should do like

27:36

a short film or something but and

27:38

I did and Emily directed it and

27:40

I looked amazing but I didn't

27:42

like it because it was him he was

27:44

upset by things and I thought no one

27:47

who wants to watch a person who's upset

27:49

about anything yeah I mean I guess

27:51

Larry David would be the one exception.

27:53

I hear that. I hear that. It's

27:55

a different approach. Although it's funny that

27:57

you say that because a lot of

27:59

the scenes... remind me of curb, let's

28:01

not forget where we are here, there

28:03

is a curvy element in that there's

28:06

nothing formulaic about the show, but whenever

28:08

there's an argument, it tends to skew

28:10

into an argument about something else. Like

28:12

so he'll be confronting somebody about something

28:15

and then they're talking about whether or

28:17

not if you self-pub a book it's

28:19

really publishing a book? Yes. Which is...

28:21

delightful and that always reminds me a

28:23

little bit of curb. You don't want

28:26

the mustard sauce on your burger and

28:28

the guy playing the manager reminds me

28:30

of the people on curb that have

28:32

to improvise against Larry who's always right

28:34

the sauce is mustard and I'm always

28:37

like wow these guys are very good

28:39

yeah that they can embody a person

28:41

that's like because you really don't want

28:43

to watch much of an argument. No.

28:46

It's I think that that the reason

28:48

changing directions works probably is because you

28:50

can get the fun pieces of maybe

28:52

two arguments. Yes. Just the fun stuff

28:54

without getting the more is lost in

28:57

this. Yes. And it's why he's like

28:59

you know he says I'll take that

29:01

remark because it's like well if he

29:03

doesn't then what what are we just

29:06

listening to two people bouncing off of

29:08

each other? In fact okay so we're

29:10

back on on the original topic because

29:12

I'll take that remark. I don't know

29:14

if you know that I'm like, I'm

29:17

into spiritual ideas and like non-resistant or

29:19

the art of doing nothing. These are

29:21

like very ancient ideas. And I'll take

29:23

that remark, if I have a mantra

29:25

to my life, it's very useful, it's

29:28

yes, thank you. And I'll take that

29:30

remark, it's yes, thank you. And I'll

29:32

take that remark. And yet here we

29:34

are. I still have my feelings. Yes.

29:37

But like I'm hearing you. I'm not

29:39

going to deny that you believe this.

29:41

It's not a narcissist. It's not like

29:43

an insane person. Yeah. It's just a

29:45

good, that's what it is. It seems

29:48

like a good guy. Yeah. Kind of

29:50

like in a weird world. Yeah. But

29:52

he seems decent. Which we all, we

29:54

feel that way. That's how we, I

29:57

think, think about ourselves. That's how we

29:59

see ourselves. We're good person. and everything's

30:01

weird. Yes. And there's a Jaguar on

30:03

my street. Yeah, but are we gonna

30:05

how mad are we gonna get about

30:08

it? Because it is what's happening. But

30:10

that's what's key to me is Doug

30:12

doesn't lose it. He doesn't lose

30:14

he's often right. You know what I

30:16

mean? And he'll he'll you know make

30:19

his points and stuff. But usually he's

30:21

just getting bombarded on. Yeah. He's just

30:23

kind of losing. But unlike Larry David

30:26

who will get pretty worked out. He's

30:28

going. realizes that reality doesn't work like

30:30

that. You know what I mean? It

30:33

doesn't just go your way. Yes. But

30:35

he has an equanimity about that. Yes.

30:37

Does that sound right? Yeah, it does.

30:39

I auditioned for that show twice, didn't

30:42

get. Curb? Yeah. You would have been

30:44

great on that show. Who would have been

30:46

better than you? I don't know. I don't understand.

30:48

I'm really upset. Well, it's funny

30:50

because both parts were so small,

30:52

I watched them. I watched them. I watched them.

30:54

I guess I didn't. I didn't. I

30:57

couldn't do that little. I

30:59

guess I couldn't. I remember

31:01

being very nervous because I

31:03

was with him. Oh wow. Yeah. I have

31:05

that exact air filter. This

31:07

one? Yeah. IQ air? Yeah.

31:09

That means you're a pretty

31:11

nervous Nelly, huh? I got

31:13

the hospital grade. Then we

31:15

had to change the filter.

31:17

You ever do that? And

31:19

it's very expensive. It's three tears.

31:21

Yeah. They call it getting ministrown

31:24

in there. Sorry, I have

31:26

to step that out. That's

31:28

a great example. The show,

31:30

let's not forget Doug as a

31:32

character, but like is a

31:34

master study in specifics and how

31:37

funny specifics are. So you talk

31:39

about how in the neighborhood when

31:41

people are mad at you,

31:44

they'll they'll ministrone your soup,

31:46

you soup your pool. They'll

31:48

soup your pool. Yeah. The show

31:50

is chock full of like... making

31:52

things verbs and making things things.

31:54

Yeah. And but then sure we

31:56

can say you soup the pool.

31:58

But then you go. It's called

32:00

getting three layered. I think that's what

32:02

it is. Three layered. Yeah, you

32:04

get it's a three layer problem or

32:06

something. I think it's three because

32:08

of some floats. Yeah, the oil goes

32:10

to the top. The beans things

32:12

on the bottom, the carrots go to

32:15

the bottom. It really would ruin

32:17

your pool. It would absolutely ruin your.

32:19

But when I'm when you're listening

32:21

to it, I can you can listen

32:23

to somebody doing some jibba jabba

32:25

like just kind of riffing and enjoying

32:27

themselves. But Valley Heat always takes

32:29

it and then builds on it in

32:31

like a craftsmany sort of way.

32:33

I know I'm being very serious about

32:35

a silly show, silly, brilliant show.

32:37

But it's like souping someone's pool is

32:39

one thing. But then being like

32:41

they call it three layer or three

32:43

layer problem and then explaining that

32:45

the oil floats on the top. So

32:47

there's three layers in your pool.

32:49

This is when I'm screaming. I'm literally

32:52

like, I can't handle. So you're

32:54

this is the big question. We're going

32:56

to go back to Doug as

32:58

a character. But like, are you improvising?

33:00

Is that beat it I am

33:02

improvising three layered. Is that on there?

33:04

I am improvising, but I'm definitely

33:06

stopping and thinking. I'm writing. I'm just

33:08

right. I'm writing out loud. It's

33:10

the same as writing. And then I'll

33:12

stop and think about it. I

33:14

could redo something or realize it can

33:16

go in this direction. It isn't

33:18

it's definitely improvised. But improvised, if you

33:20

did an improv show and you

33:22

could stop time and go, I should

33:24

have done it like that. So

33:26

you don't have an outline that says

33:29

soup your pool? No,

33:31

no, there aren't any jokes. I

33:33

don't have. Well, I guess sometimes

33:35

I'll see something or hear about

33:37

something. I think, oh, that might

33:39

be a funny Valley Heat idea.

33:42

But those often I mean, I have

33:44

so many texts to myself that

33:47

I I don't even know what they

33:49

mean anymore. So I usually just

33:51

end up. I'll just if you sit

33:53

down and just start talking, it's

33:55

very uncomfortable. And then eventually it's not,

33:57

you know. Do you do that?

33:59

Do do you write out loud? Well,

34:01

I do it. stage yeah as a stand-up I know

34:03

I know I had it in me to do that in front of

34:05

people oh really yeah I get

34:08

so nervous in live performances well

34:10

that's so funny I certainly used

34:12

to and then and then

34:15

some it's like improv itself

34:17

something flips and then the

34:19

lack of control becomes the

34:21

comforting thing but like I feel

34:23

like I could convince you to do

34:26

it meaning I know you could And when

34:28

I'm doing stand-up, it's always talking

34:30

about something I really have strong

34:32

feelings about, which is what you're

34:34

doing, too. Like, I imagine you really do

34:36

feel weird about the bridges of songs,

34:39

so you don't have to, like, write it

34:41

out. You just know how you feel about

34:43

bridges. Right. Sometimes it's something... Often it'll

34:45

be... Have you listened to the Good

34:47

Morning Burbank? I am a patron. Check

34:50

out the Valley Patriot page. So I

34:52

am and I have them all downloaded,

34:54

but I haven't listened to one yet

34:56

Yeah, it's so there's a lot of

34:58

material that I'll be talking and

35:00

then I'll realize like you were saying

35:03

you realize how fun your life is

35:05

I'll be talking about something and realize

35:07

how ridiculous Something was in my life

35:10

that I never really realized how crazy

35:12

it was. It's so cool like just

35:14

kind of turning the faucet on and

35:17

see. Yeah, you'll just be rambling and

35:19

then I realize, oh yeah, I remember

35:21

I had a dirt bike when I

35:24

was 12 and two kids just took

35:26

it and I just didn't have the

35:28

courage to tell my dad it was

35:31

gone and so I would see it

35:33

driving around. This is when I lived

35:35

in Arizona. And I was like,

35:37

when I see those guys, I'm

35:40

gonna get my motorcycle back and

35:42

I'm gonna get my motorcycle back

35:44

and I don't. I don't know and

35:46

then that is such a valley heat

35:48

moment is that on the show that's

35:51

in good morning Burbeck I talked about

35:53

that and I might have embellished some

35:55

things yes usually it's taking something that

35:57

happened and then that is just pure

35:59

common And then expanding. How are we

36:01

going to get home is the essence

36:04

of every comedy that's ever existed. I'm

36:06

saying like, I feel like a scientist

36:08

and we have like a thing to

36:10

put under a microscope and we're like,

36:12

a guy whose dirt bike is stolen

36:15

and then he finally gets them and

36:17

stops them. Does he got to give

36:19

me back and they say, how are

36:21

we going to get home? And it's

36:24

funny because you knew the second I

36:26

see them, the bikes mine. You're like,

36:28

damn it. And they got me immediately.

36:30

Right, right. Because you need to be,

36:32

this is what tough guys have, which

36:35

is like, not my problem. Yeah, not

36:37

my problem. Yeah, you're right. It's not

36:39

my, it's fucking walk. It's my problem.

36:41

It's my problem. Well, we're like, well,

36:44

I suppose, see, like, people who are

36:46

trying to be good are very funny.

36:48

Like, we're back to Valley Heat philosophy.

36:50

It's like, if you just go, now

36:52

my problem, the scene's over, the scene's

36:55

over. But if you're like, but if

36:57

you're like, I could give you're like,

36:59

And then, of course, they live really

37:01

far away. Or they both live in

37:04

two different... Trying to drive two people

37:06

on a dirt bike. And then you

37:08

get pulled over, whatever it is. Yeah,

37:10

exactly. That's over the maximum and you

37:12

explain they stole it. Maybe, you know,

37:15

because the things that people are doing

37:17

on the show might not be as

37:19

funny if there wasn't somebody who was

37:21

trying to be understanding about it. I

37:24

think that's what Doug is doing. He's

37:26

trying his best. That's what I really

37:28

realized would make sure that the short

37:30

film was, was, oh, this, I should

37:32

just not be upset. You know, I

37:35

should be accepting these things and having

37:37

the madness and the conflict around me.

37:39

Yes. Yeah, I don't think anybody thinks

37:41

that Doug, I know this is very

37:44

inside value, but that Doug is like

37:46

a bad husband. Like when Chuck is

37:48

your father-in-law is being really mean to

37:50

you. Yeah. Nobody's like, he's right, Doug,

37:52

we gotta get rid of Doug. Like

37:55

you're rooting? Yeah. You see him carrying.

37:57

There are times that he's right, especially

37:59

in the beginning. Yeah. Like, well, you

38:01

should be in jail yourself. And you

38:03

think, yeah. He's making a very good

38:06

point. Who plays check? Michael Connell. Michael

38:08

Connell. I don't know if I know

38:10

Michael Connell. I know Michael Connell. I

38:12

know Michael Connell. I know Michael Connell.

38:15

Yeah. Now I can. He's brilliant. Very

38:17

close friend. We aren't enemies in the

38:19

least. Yeah, of course not. He's so

38:21

funny. He really is. He's one of

38:23

those guys. He did this podcast too.

38:26

Does he still say demons? He sure

38:28

does. You can tell him I asked

38:30

that. That's the first thing I think

38:32

of is a guy that just says

38:35

demons. He has his own language. He'll

38:37

listen to this too. Well, he was

38:39

a delight on this show and I

38:41

told him when he was on it.

38:43

Me and Kumiel and all these Chicago

38:46

guys saw him perform and he put

38:48

on his one Z we'd never seen

38:50

a guy like this He's wearing like

38:52

a ziggy stardust one Zee and he

38:55

went up and you know He's also

38:57

a remarkable musician as are you. Yes,

38:59

and that makes it funnier You know

39:01

what I mean? Yeah, it's funnier that

39:03

the music is good. Yes, I agree

39:06

with that and I don't even I

39:08

usually don't like musical comedy me either

39:10

all I think you have to be

39:12

doing music in earnest. Yes. The idea

39:15

of the music I think can be

39:17

funny. Yeah. The idea of a big

39:19

rock anthem about frisbee golf. Yes. The

39:21

idea is funny, but I don't think

39:23

you should be putting funny lines. I

39:26

agree. In fact, the more earnest that

39:28

it gets and the more it seems

39:30

like you like yacht rock. Am I

39:32

correct in that? I do. I'll take

39:35

that remark. I do I love I

39:37

love Arby from that era and and

39:39

that whole that whole genre of music

39:41

I just watched that documentary recently where

39:43

Donald Fagan Oh you have it you

39:46

can you may you may well he

39:48

takes a phone call and then tells

39:50

them to fuck off over what he's

39:52

like in what genre are we talking?

39:54

He goes, yacht rock, and he goes,

39:57

why don't you fuck yourself? Oh, because

39:59

he won't accept that remark. Yeah, he

40:01

doesn't accept that remark. You know, if

40:03

someone makes fun of you, it's your

40:06

job to make fun of you back

40:08

to them. It really is. That's hilarious.

40:10

Make fun of you back to them. It really is.

40:12

That's hilarious. Make fun of yourself back to them.

40:14

That's the real power. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I've

40:16

been doing, I've been fucking with myself my self-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-of-you,

40:18

write it, write it, write it, write it, write

40:21

it, write it, write it, write it, write it,

40:23

write it, write it, write it, write it, write

40:25

it, write it, write it, write it, write it,

40:27

write it, write it, write it, write it, write

40:29

it, write it, write it, write it, write it,

40:31

write it, write It's like, it's the same thing.

40:33

It's the same thing. You go like, thank you.

40:36

Yeah, incredible. I always give this example, but and

40:38

it's a name drop now. But John Milaney and

40:40

I started together and he called me, we were

40:42

checking into a hotel. I know the story,

40:44

but they go, one of the rooms is

40:46

a non-smoking queen. And I don't know

40:48

if this joke ages well, but I

40:51

went, that's me, right? Right. It's a

40:53

dumb joke. And Milaneyaney just goes. We're

40:55

like both tired and he goes, you're

40:57

like a fun dad. You're like an

40:59

embarrassing dad. And that joke, calling myself

41:02

a fun dad, like an embarrassing dad,

41:04

was how I got Montreal. It's like,

41:06

because they're waiting for you to like

41:08

click and understand who you are. They want

41:10

you to know who you are. But it

41:13

was someone else telling me who I was.

41:15

And I was like, ah. So you're absolutely

41:17

right when someone makes fun of you. It's

41:19

your job to make fun of yourself. with

41:21

them. It's really your only choice. It's like

41:24

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41:26

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41:28

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living libations.com/weird. So okay, let's, we

44:50

should have done this up top,

44:52

but how did the show come

44:55

about? Like, what, I know you made

44:57

the short film. Well, it was, yeah,

44:59

it was just, it didn't, I didn't

45:01

just dawn on me what the show

45:04

was. I was doing these Instagrams and

45:06

I felt like people, other fellow comedians

45:09

were thinking it was funny, but

45:11

there was something about it that

45:13

was a little negative and I didn't

45:15

really put me a finger on

45:17

until we made that little film.

45:20

And it was some funny ideas.

45:22

No, it was some funny ideas.

45:24

Like Mike O'Connell was not my

45:27

father-in-law. He was a guy who, well,

45:29

there was a van parked in

45:31

front of the house that was a

45:33

topless maids van, but it had

45:35

just been there for months and

45:37

it was bothering me. So it

45:39

just became kind of boring in

45:41

the middle of the movie. But

45:43

he was a guy that ended

45:45

up being, he was sleeping in

45:48

it and torturing me. didn't find

45:50

it uh... but it it was important

45:52

to do because i i think

45:55

i eventually found it right and

45:57

i had this computer that

45:59

i bought years ago to make music

46:01

on and I really had never recorded

46:03

music before much and I thought oh

46:05

maybe I'll do a podcast it was

46:07

always something in the back of my

46:09

head that would be secondary. Like

46:11

well I guess if I can't make the

46:13

film I'll make the podcast but that's how

46:16

I was just sitting down. I think

46:18

by the second episode I understood what

46:20

it would be. Oh really? Yeah.

46:22

I actually think it's strong right

46:24

out the gate. I always hope

46:26

people started the beginning because you're

46:28

talking about the solos. And like,

46:30

you're genuine, like, how many guitars

46:32

is this? I mean, and listening

46:34

to it, I thought it was

46:36

funny. It started with just talking

46:38

about Pete and his music, and

46:40

then I started listening to

46:43

Boston, and I was, that's a lot

46:45

of guitars at once, and then they

46:47

did a second solo. I mean, I

46:49

was just kind of riffing on it,

46:51

but I couldn't believe how much more

46:53

was coming from the music. Yeah, yeah,

46:55

yeah, yeah. And then maximum fun

46:58

puts it out puts it

47:00

out. They do now originally

47:02

it was independent that it

47:04

was what was at Starburn's

47:06

and then it was independent

47:08

again when Starburn's audio went under

47:10

and Yeah, it was independent

47:13

for a while and then it

47:15

went went to Max Fund and

47:17

what is Max Fund maximum fund

47:19

they are a podcast network and

47:21

you it's a You can listen to all

47:23

of their shows for free, but

47:25

if you have a subscription with

47:28

them, then you can get the

47:30

bonus content, which is the Good

47:32

Morning Burbank's. They're also on Patreon.

47:34

Okay. Do one or the other, and

47:36

yeah, I forget where I was going with

47:38

that. I was curious. I'm just so

47:40

like, is Valley Heat kind of like

47:42

what you're doing now? Like that's a

47:44

weird question. Yeah, that's what people go,

47:46

like, so what else are you doing?

47:49

No, I'm just in the garage all

47:51

day long. I want, like I signed

47:53

up for the Patreon, Max Tier, I

47:55

think you should have a higher tier.

47:57

If there was a $25 tier, maybe

47:59

I should. because it's the only money

48:01

I make right now is on

48:03

Patriot. Well this is what I'm

48:06

wondering. I'm like okay you have

48:08

like 1100 subscribers it just tells

48:10

you by the way and I'm

48:12

like I hope they're all 10

48:14

because this show deserves. Oh my

48:16

god I wish I wish they

48:18

were most of them are the

48:20

the lower tier and I should

48:22

I think I should maybe I

48:24

don't know retire and I always

48:26

felt like well what do you

48:28

pay for Netflix? That's the wrong

48:30

way to look really? Is it?

48:32

bend over backwards to save $200

48:34

at a hotel. Like I'll pick

48:36

a cheaper hotel. I'll save $200.

48:38

But I'll easily give a very

48:40

good masse $200. It's a different

48:42

$200. And Valley Heat is a

48:44

different $20 than your fucking monthly

48:47

Starbucks or whatever. Maybe I could

48:49

just add one in case someone

48:51

wants to give more money. Because

48:53

one of the things I've struggled

48:55

with is just making it. Fast

48:57

and some of them take months

48:59

and like the last one came

49:01

out like four or five months

49:03

ago I think so they take

49:05

a long time doing the the

49:07

Good Morning Burbank many episodes which

49:09

were supposed to be short now

49:11

I take too much time with

49:13

them so I struggle like I

49:15

said I need a deadline is

49:17

I just I'll be like oh

49:19

you're not gonna get stuck on

49:21

a song yeah another two weeks

49:23

and then I immediately stuck on

49:26

a song which I have been

49:28

for the last two weeks champagne

49:30

cowboy is one of the best

49:32

songs I die And you'd think,

49:34

listening to the show, you'd get

49:36

the formula, you'd be like, oh,

49:38

and there's going to be like

49:40

a really over-the-top song? It doesn't

49:42

matter, you're not ready. And it's

49:44

earnestness. Okay, have you thought about

49:46

making it into something else? Are

49:48

people sniffing around? Yeah, I mean,

49:50

I... Could you picture it as

49:52

something else? Well, it was picked

49:54

up by Sony and a company

49:56

and a company, a company, a

49:58

company, I picked up the very

50:00

valid word. They only do valley

50:02

things. Option. Yeah. Oh, they do

50:04

a karate karate centric valley. If

50:07

these guys were playing Foosball. What

50:09

if it wasn't karate everyone knew

50:11

but Foosball. So Sony did it

50:13

is optioning it. Well they did

50:15

and this was a while ago

50:17

and it was before the strike

50:19

it was optioned and then as

50:21

you know a lot of things go.

50:23

People change, you know, people who were

50:25

in charge of things change and... Yeah.

50:27

But the truest thing Seinfeld ever did,

50:30

when they're pitching Jerry, when the executive

50:32

gets fired and the show goes away.

50:34

Like the number of times that's happened,

50:36

that's happened to me recently. where someone's

50:38

like on fire or something they get

50:40

fired and the new guy just wants

50:42

his own stuff. It's almost like they

50:44

should just there should be a contract

50:47

that says we if you fire if

50:49

they fire you can I still have

50:51

this? Yeah yeah yeah or am I

50:53

also fired? Is it contingent on your

50:55

move? Yeah. Or is this a good

50:57

show? You just like me? Yeah. But

50:59

it is. It's dating and you, it's

51:02

hunting. They want to bring the elk

51:04

into the thing and they want to

51:06

be like, I brought it in when

51:08

it's a big hit. So then they

51:10

go like, well, I can't even get

51:12

that, so fuck off. They'd rather caught

51:14

it loose. Then when succession wins a

51:16

million Emmy's be like, well, it was

51:18

really Steve before he was fired, he

51:21

found it. Like who cares? You have

51:23

nine enemies! Shut up! It's so dumb.

51:25

Yeah. We, AI executives, I'm in

51:27

favor, I'm just kidding. Yeah, executive.

51:29

It's coming. That would be. The

51:31

AI network. What would it be

51:33

programmed to do? What I worry

51:35

is it would only look at

51:37

numbers and stuff, because like, like

51:39

Valley Heat is. Brilliant, but it's

51:41

not the Joe Rogan experience. Because

51:43

I can't, well, if I wish

51:45

I could make it faster, I

51:47

think that if I made it

51:49

regularly, it would be bigger, but

51:51

it also wouldn't be, it wouldn't

51:53

be what it is. It wouldn't be as

51:55

good. And I really, once you make something,

51:58

it's out there forever, so I think. you

52:00

should if I could yeah if

52:02

I never got to a point

52:04

where I could hire anyone to

52:06

help yeah there are a couple

52:08

people who volunteer sometimes but they

52:10

also have jobs so yeah you

52:12

could get a staff I would

52:14

happily email you Well you know

52:16

what's funny is I think that

52:18

people want to help that people

52:20

do they really want to help

52:22

and but what I know now

52:24

is like I just know yeah

52:26

you want to help but you

52:28

have a whole life you think

52:30

they won't well you are wrong

52:32

I have your I have your

52:34

phone number now I'm gonna he

52:36

was like I'm gonna help I'm

52:38

gonna and then he just disappeared

52:40

it was like of course you

52:42

did you just you got all

52:44

lit up and then you realize

52:46

that what valley heat actually is

52:48

as long days in a garage

52:50

fire with Emily going you get

52:52

out of there? Yeah. It's like

52:54

I love Game of Thrones but

52:56

I was like I'll do anything

52:59

to work with you. Okay it's

53:01

funny that we talked about curb

53:03

because when I briefly worked with

53:05

one of the directors from curb

53:07

and I would email him because

53:09

you know when you have a

53:11

curb idea you're like that's it

53:13

has its own ring yeah I

53:15

was like that's a curb your

53:17

enthusiasm thing and I would email

53:19

it to us I feel the

53:21

same way about Well that's great.

53:23

It's the highest. Well always sends

53:25

something if you ever want to.

53:27

Well now that we're in touch.

53:29

I will. I'll send it to

53:31

you and you never have to,

53:33

you don't even have to reply.

53:35

You can be like, yeah, okay,

53:37

look, I wrote down some things

53:39

that are ripped from my brain

53:41

that I heard on the show.

53:43

This might be fun for people

53:45

who haven't heard the show. But

53:47

when you talked about bumper stickers,

53:49

do you remember talking about bumper

53:51

stickers were pretty... funny they are

53:53

and so are mugs by the

53:55

way same genre really i didn't

53:57

really realize until i was talking

53:59

about the mugs that rude mugs

54:01

are you know sometimes it's just

54:03

something you start talking about what

54:05

what could he be doing that

54:07

is chips a hoy cookie boy

54:09

chips i also think you could

54:12

be merging a lot more oh

54:14

there's you could be sure I'm

54:16

selling this is you mugs. I

54:18

do. Oh, you do? Oh, you

54:20

do? I sell them on threadless.

54:22

Oh, okay. Yeah. Is Chip's away

54:24

cookie boy available? What's that? I

54:26

don't think I can. I don't

54:28

think I can, but I meant

54:30

to bring you that shirt and

54:32

I forgot it, but I'll get

54:34

it to you. But I need

54:36

to expand. But you can get

54:38

Pete's worse. This is you mug.

54:40

This is you. I'm dead. When

54:42

you talked about bumper stickers on

54:44

the show, you pulled a thought

54:46

straight from my brain, which is

54:48

how I feel about tattoos, and

54:50

there's no mood I'm in every

54:52

day. You know what I'm saying?

54:54

That's basically what you say. You

54:56

go like, what do you want

54:58

to say every day? Right, and

55:00

especially the political ones. You must

55:02

come out to you, if you

55:04

have a flag on your truck,

55:06

you ever just leave the store

55:08

and go, God, I'm still doing

55:10

this. Yes. all day screaming this

55:12

every day and we can't not

55:14

read them bumper stickers are the

55:16

most compelling things there could be

55:18

an accident yes and a car

55:20

with a bumper sticker the ones

55:23

that are mad at you about

55:25

there where my kid goes to

55:27

school but I don't have a

55:29

kid talk about that's the one

55:31

you that's your example you go

55:33

I don't care where your kid

55:35

goes to school or Calvin peeing

55:37

on something yes which I just

55:39

watched a really interesting YouTube about

55:41

how Bill Waterson never There was

55:43

something about like, if Bill Waterson

55:45

had sold the rights to Calvin,

55:47

he would have had enough money

55:49

to sue the people that were

55:51

making Calvin peeing, but he was

55:53

so anti-selling his becoming a commodity

55:55

instead of an artist. You mean

55:57

like IP? He wouldn't sell it.

55:59

He would not sell that so

56:01

they had the right to make

56:03

him praying and peeing. That's us

56:05

don't you see that's us. That's

56:07

the nation. We're either like yeah

56:09

this or we're pissing on the

56:11

Chevy logo and there's no subtlety

56:13

There's nothing in between it really

56:15

sounds like a 90s 90s comedy,

56:17

like a feel-good comedy with Julia

56:19

Roberts. Praying and peeing, e-pray, e-pray,

56:21

love, yeah. That's why I was

56:23

like, p-pray love. Yeah. You pulled

56:25

that out of my thing. You

56:27

also said that Dragon's Lair is

56:29

the worst 80s video game. But

56:31

you didn't go into it. Well,

56:33

it's, there's a, it's extensive on

56:36

Good Morning Burbank. sort of a

56:38

truncated version of it, but it

56:40

just... I couldn't agree more by

56:42

the way. I was infuriated because

56:44

it seemed like they've done it.

56:46

Yeah, it's a cartoon video. Amazing.

56:48

And then instantly, 50 cents gone

56:50

immediately. You play for 30 seconds.

56:52

You really do. And you have

56:54

to know to hit left, like

56:56

on a frame. But it's not

56:58

like as fast as you can

57:00

think. It's slower than you think.

57:02

And so you're like a... Okay,

57:04

I'll go this way. And then

57:06

it cuts to black and it

57:08

loads the footage. Yeah, it's like,

57:10

hold on, just a second. And

57:12

then it shows you dying. We're

57:14

showing your 50 cents, where you

57:16

have a very graphic way to

57:18

show you how you have no

57:20

money left. They're always falling through

57:22

the floor. It's all they do.

57:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only thing that

57:26

happens. There was one where I

57:28

remember you got hit in the

57:30

hat and he's like, you keep

57:32

on trucking, guys. like kind of

57:34

got like a it is like

57:36

there's something 70s and trippy about

57:38

him yeah and he sucks I

57:40

play video games to feel like

57:42

a winner like if I want

57:44

to know that I'm gonna die

57:46

and I'm real loser yeah dragon

57:49

Slayer you stink And if you're

57:51

good at Dragon's Lair, you're a

57:53

millionaire. You had... Right. You were

57:55

that kid with the coin belt.

57:57

Because it was just for the

57:59

rich kids. That was for the

58:01

rich kids. No, I don't know

58:03

if you did. It was just

58:05

for kids who had all those

58:07

quarters. I remember there were kids

58:09

that had the... two quarters if

58:11

you have 50 cents to sink

58:13

into a game your dad gave

58:15

you a lot of money I

58:17

don't know when I mean I

58:19

was a kid when they when

58:21

they really first came out like

58:23

Pac-Man and the arcades were the

58:25

the place to be yeah you

58:27

got five bucks yeah and that

58:29

was like yeah 20 minutes yeah

58:31

but if you sunk 50 cents

58:33

That's a big, that's a big

58:35

loss. Do you remember the phenomenon

58:37

of continue screens being kind of

58:39

big fuck you? Oh yes. Like

58:41

Ninja Guide and? Right, it's like

58:43

a slot machine. Yes, it would

58:45

taunt to you to play more.

58:47

So if you lost in Ninja

58:49

Guideen, it would cut to your

58:51

character tied to a plank and

58:53

there's a bone saw. Coming down

58:55

with a 1098 you want to

58:57

see this guy die? Go ahead

58:59

kill him walk away And final

59:02

fight too you were tied to

59:04

a chair and there was a

59:06

stick of dynamite and and he's

59:08

going To blow it out and

59:10

you have to watch him die.

59:12

You can help him man help

59:14

him. It's like feed the children.

59:16

Yeah, it's like an ad for

59:18

like a yeah Like a charity

59:20

and really you could and if

59:22

you run out you could run

59:24

maybe your dad's outside and you

59:26

could you know run to him

59:28

in the mall. Make it. I

59:30

mean that guy was a friend

59:32

to the programmers he was just

59:34

pixels. The Ninja and Ninja Guyton

59:36

was my friend. It was me.

59:38

I don't know that game but

59:40

I uh... There were other continuation.

59:42

See, that feels like a valley.

59:44

Gorf? Did you ever play gorf?

59:46

Boy, it was Gorf. It was

59:48

like Tron kind of wears four

59:50

games. It was simulations of other

59:52

games, like copies, but they were

59:54

all great. Really? Yeah, no one's

59:56

really ever heard of Gorfra. I've

59:58

never heard of Gorf. Yeah, I

1:00:00

know. I feel like we might

1:00:02

be a little separated. I'm like

1:00:04

street fighter. Space invaders even oh

1:00:06

wow centipede. Yeah, centipede King Kong.

1:00:08

Yeah, there's just certain types of

1:00:10

people that played certain games and

1:00:12

anything with the engine that was

1:00:15

missile command. It was like, oh,

1:00:17

that kid's got throwing stars. Like

1:00:19

that's a kid that'll beat me

1:00:21

up. He's got a crossbow. But

1:00:23

if you played Pac-Man, fun guy.

1:00:25

Fun guy. You are killing me.

1:00:27

The missile command kid. I mean,

1:00:29

think about it, you picked a

1:00:31

game called missile command. And you

1:00:33

play, like, a bunker in missile

1:00:35

command. You're, like, guarding the country.

1:00:37

Yeah. Pac-Man is literally a pizza

1:00:39

with a slice missing, eating dots.

1:00:41

I never thought about a pizza

1:00:43

with a pizza with a slice

1:00:45

missing, eating dots. I never thought

1:00:47

about a pizza with a pizza

1:00:49

with a pizza with a pizza

1:00:51

with a pizza with a pizza

1:00:53

with a good mistakes. Yeah. It

1:00:55

became Pac-man, and they were like...

1:00:57

And it's like, it was a

1:00:59

real like, it went out like

1:01:01

that? And it's packed, man. Oh,

1:01:03

it was a, really? It was

1:01:05

an accident? I think it was

1:01:07

an accident that somebody doubled down

1:01:09

on. And they're like, no way,

1:01:11

these guys meant puckman. There's no

1:01:13

way. Change it. Are you serious?

1:01:15

Change it. It's Pac-Man. Trust me

1:01:17

on this. And that guy gets

1:01:19

no credit for the accident. Oh,

1:01:21

he's gone. Nobody knows where he

1:01:23

is. So there was, oh, and

1:01:26

then Joe Camel, when you said

1:01:28

Joe Camel on the show, oh

1:01:30

yeah, looks like the Cheetos guy,

1:01:32

I think my brain, like, inverted.

1:01:34

Like, I never thought of it,

1:01:36

Joe Camel, is Chester Cheeta. Yes,

1:01:38

they look same guy. It really

1:01:40

they have that same Dick face

1:01:42

fish-eye. Yes They have that yeah

1:01:44

big like Freudian fucking face the

1:01:46

sunglasses. Yeah and the same tood

1:01:48

One is like I can't tell

1:01:50

me where to eat cheese. Yeah,

1:01:52

and one's like I'll smoke in

1:01:54

this pool I never wanted to

1:01:56

be like any of those guys.

1:01:58

No either of them Okay, we're

1:02:00

Pac-man guys. We don't want to

1:02:02

where a purple blazer. It's like

1:02:04

Vin Diesel's wet dream. Like you

1:02:06

got a giraffe lady on your

1:02:08

arm and it's big camel-wide cigarettes.

1:02:10

There was a saxophone thing at

1:02:12

the time. You said that. Playing

1:02:14

saxophone. To the point where I

1:02:16

was kind of in the sax,

1:02:18

I remember I had like some,

1:02:20

my mom got me, I think

1:02:22

it was camels playing saxophone, a

1:02:24

poster. And so that was on

1:02:26

my wall. It was really that

1:02:28

really was. My mom had a

1:02:30

poster framing shop. That's what she

1:02:33

did. And she would frame these.

1:02:35

Some of them were just samples

1:02:37

and she would go here camels

1:02:39

playing saxophone, blues camels. You said

1:02:41

that on the show. I know

1:02:44

it's hard to believe because saxophone

1:02:46

is a joke instrument now. It's

1:02:48

a joke instrument. It's it's really.

1:02:50

It's been killed. It's been killed

1:02:52

in the 90s if you played

1:02:55

the sacks. Yes. Everyone's

1:02:57

getting pregnant. It was like this

1:03:00

crazy. What happened? Like in the

1:03:02

moonlight, throwing back, that wasn't a

1:03:04

joke. It was like, holy shit.

1:03:07

Yeah. And like I feel like

1:03:09

Dave Matthewsman was the last time

1:03:11

we took a saxophone. Did they

1:03:14

have saxophone? I think it was

1:03:16

like a alto maybe. It's like

1:03:18

kind of a clarinet saxophone. Yeah.

1:03:21

Sopranosax. But like the real fucking fat

1:03:23

uppercase Jay made out of brass. Yes.

1:03:25

That used to be fucking hot. I

1:03:28

know. And you and I, I swear

1:03:30

to you, that is the bond. Whatever

1:03:32

the valley heat, the people who

1:03:34

relate really hard to valley heat,

1:03:36

feel like we're sensitive? I

1:03:39

don't mean overly sensitive, I just mean

1:03:41

like alert. And that means we didn't

1:03:43

relate to Joe Campbell. If you were

1:03:45

like, that's me and that's what I

1:03:47

want to be, you're not listening to

1:03:49

Valleheda. You're not listening to Valleheda. And

1:03:51

you're not listening to my comedy either.

1:03:53

If you're like, I just want to

1:03:56

wear like a laceless leather shoe and

1:03:58

a tailored slack and a purple. laser

1:04:00

with a chain and like a v-neck

1:04:02

white t-shirt and I want to smoke

1:04:04

camel-wides in a pool hall and I

1:04:06

want to bang a jute box and

1:04:08

start playing jet like even you're pointing

1:04:10

out of Jesse's girl these songs are

1:04:12

funny it's like funny that song is

1:04:14

so funny in me because it's everybody

1:04:17

is so happy when that song

1:04:19

comes on, including me. And

1:04:21

then within, it changes and

1:04:23

you're like, we gotta get

1:04:25

this song. You become the

1:04:27

different song? That doesn't change,

1:04:29

it's just, it's just, there's

1:04:31

something so great about the

1:04:33

anticipation. It's, I guess a lot of

1:04:35

songs in the 80s have that where

1:04:37

they just feel great for us, for

1:04:40

30 seconds. The TV shows too, like

1:04:42

just the theme songs. I agree. You

1:04:44

didn't have to watch the show. The

1:04:46

theme songs were so good. But like,

1:04:48

Locobaback Carter was not a good show.

1:04:50

No. But the theme song was. And

1:04:53

somebody just pointed out, Family Matters,

1:04:55

full house and step-by-step were

1:04:57

all the same guy. Some multi-gagillionaire wrote

1:04:59

three slappers. That's kind of after

1:05:01

my time. So what was a

1:05:03

family? What was it? What family?

1:05:06

I don't know which one that

1:05:08

says. I think this is family

1:05:10

matters. Whatever happened. The Milkman, the

1:05:12

Paper Boy, heaving in TV! So

1:05:15

it's like it slaps. It's really

1:05:17

those were the days. It's the

1:05:19

new Those were the days. It's

1:05:21

very similar. Yeah. Yeah, they're going

1:05:24

for that flavor. Whatever happened to

1:05:26

predictability? The Milkman, the Paper Boy,

1:05:28

heaving in TV. Well then there

1:05:30

must be some magic clue. This

1:05:32

is the pre-course. Yeah. Inside these

1:05:35

gentle walls! Strings, because

1:05:37

all I see is

1:05:39

a tower of dreams,

1:05:41

real love bursting out of

1:05:43

every scene. It doesn't

1:05:46

mean anything. Ten days

1:05:48

go by. What goes

1:05:50

by? The days. The days

1:05:53

go by. It's the bigger

1:05:55

love of the family. It's

1:05:57

like A. I wrote it.

1:06:00

The song is over by the

1:06:02

way. That's the other thing. Oh,

1:06:04

they knew in sun. Yeah. You

1:06:06

have pointed out something that I

1:06:08

never realized none of that makes

1:06:10

a lick of sense. But it's

1:06:12

over before you can kind of

1:06:15

go like, what? As days go

1:06:17

by? It's the bigger love of

1:06:19

the family? I mean, I think

1:06:21

I agree. You sort of do.

1:06:23

And then, it's a rare condition,

1:06:25

this day and age. Same idea.

1:06:27

Whatever happened to predictability. Whatever happened.

1:06:30

To read any good news on

1:06:32

the newspaper page. Well, like, the

1:06:34

news was great a long time

1:06:36

ago. Remember when you read the

1:06:38

news and they were like, people

1:06:40

are happy. People are happy on

1:06:42

the... Nothing to report. Maybe check

1:06:45

out the funniest. What did I

1:06:47

read any good news on the

1:06:49

newspaper page? Love and tradition of

1:06:51

the Grand Design! There's a grand

1:06:53

design? I don't know. Okay? Some

1:06:55

people say it's even harder to

1:06:58

find. Well then there must be

1:07:00

some magic clue inside these gentle

1:07:02

walls! I really have no idea

1:07:04

what it means. Well, someone's coming

1:07:06

in the kitchen and sliring at

1:07:08

the camera at this point. It

1:07:10

really, yeah. Because all I see

1:07:13

is a tower of dreams. Wait,

1:07:15

I already said that. Real love

1:07:17

bursting. Did I just blend two

1:07:19

of them? I think I just

1:07:21

blended two of them. I mean,

1:07:23

they're all kind of the same

1:07:25

line. That's what I'm saying. Read

1:07:28

any good news. It doesn't matter.

1:07:30

That was the same guy, clearly.

1:07:32

I'm sure you know the Star

1:07:34

Wars. Yes, you're saying the soundtracks

1:07:36

are similar. Well, yeah, because they're

1:07:38

John Williams, right? Because they're very

1:07:41

similar. I'm not saying bad similar,

1:07:43

but like, I'm Star Wars. Um,

1:07:45

uh, don't, don't, do, do, do,

1:07:47

do, do, do, do, do, do,

1:07:49

do, do, now do Indiana Jones.

1:07:51

Um, I don't know if I

1:07:53

can. That's my point. That's my

1:07:56

point. Once you do one, when

1:07:58

you're done. You can do both.

1:08:00

It's time for you to leave.

1:08:02

It's the new Kung Fu. Time

1:08:04

for you to leave. Or Superman.

1:08:06

Superman is the one that always

1:08:08

sticks. Because I know it starts

1:08:11

with bumpa-da-da-da-da-dum. You're right. That's a

1:08:13

good way to get it. That's

1:08:15

a good way to get it.

1:08:17

That's a good way to get.

1:08:19

Now I have to think of

1:08:21

Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones is...da-da-da-da-da-nope. I've

1:08:24

been spending 10 years learning to

1:08:26

sing these two songs together. The

1:08:28

guy that can do all three.

1:08:30

When I was a kid it

1:08:32

was always can you do bewitched?

1:08:34

And then do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a-a-a-a-a-a-a Is it, did,

1:08:36

did, did, did, did, did, is

1:08:39

it like that? It's, it's, it's,

1:08:41

it's, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,

1:08:43

dum, dum, dum, and then, do

1:08:45

you know I dream of genie?

1:08:47

Similar? I'm guessing. Yeah, but I

1:08:49

can't do it now. I can't

1:08:51

think of it. They're gone. You

1:08:54

can only hold one at a

1:08:56

time. It's true. It's called the

1:08:58

Heisenberg. Sorry. Did you ever do

1:09:00

a stand-up, the California raisins thing

1:09:02

is maybe the funniest thing of

1:09:04

all time, where you go like,

1:09:06

that's a marketing feat. It's like,

1:09:09

how are we going to market

1:09:11

raisins? No, I never didn't stand

1:09:13

up. It was only because I

1:09:15

was talking about the, I think

1:09:17

it was the Joe Camel or

1:09:19

playing saxophone. Yeah, they're all wearing

1:09:22

sunglasses. And then I remember the

1:09:24

raisins, and it was like, you

1:09:26

have raisins on your shirt. Yeah.

1:09:28

You love California. In the punchline,

1:09:30

if you recall, is they go,

1:09:32

how are we going to sell

1:09:34

kids raisins? And you go, sell

1:09:37

them. By the time I'm done

1:09:39

with them, they're going to want

1:09:41

to be raises. I'm like, that

1:09:43

is the funniest premise of all

1:09:45

time. I just find that. OK,

1:09:47

so Sony optioned it then it

1:09:49

went away because of the pandemic.

1:09:52

We pitched it to a few

1:09:54

places, but I couldn't really get

1:09:56

people. The pitch was fun. Chuck

1:09:58

was calling in and interrupting the

1:10:00

pitch on the zoom and have

1:10:02

they let you down yet? Easy

1:10:05

and telling them not to buy

1:10:07

it, which they didn't. But it

1:10:09

was fun. What if one of

1:10:11

the executives didn't know that was

1:10:13

a bet? He was like, I

1:10:15

think we should listen to that

1:10:17

Chuck. I mean, maybe. It felt

1:10:20

like they all got it, but

1:10:22

was he didn't buy it? Animated?

1:10:24

Was that the idea? No, it

1:10:26

was live. So, do you see

1:10:28

it animated? I would see an

1:10:30

animal. You would. I've given this

1:10:32

a lot of thought actually. Me

1:10:35

too. And I've, some people agree

1:10:37

and some people don't. Some people

1:10:39

think it should be live action?

1:10:41

That's, well that's what we put

1:10:43

all our time into. I'm gonna,

1:10:45

I'm gonna hard disagree with that.

1:10:48

Really? I'm gonna, I'm gonna hard

1:10:50

disagree with that. Really? I'm gonna,

1:10:52

I'm gonna prove my point of

1:10:54

three words, are you ready? How

1:10:56

you can do it? I don't

1:10:58

think it's work prohibitive. I'm saying

1:11:00

in a world where we can

1:11:03

make a cliff and we can

1:11:05

make an elevated bike path and

1:11:07

recumbent bikes and gas, if we

1:11:09

had an unlimited budget, I'd still

1:11:11

do it animated. Okay, it's good.

1:11:13

I've even considered this. It's animated,

1:11:15

except the music is real. What

1:11:18

are you seeing? Like, then you

1:11:20

see real people. Kind of like

1:11:22

Wally. You know how Fred... Fred

1:11:24

Willard was the one human in

1:11:26

Wally? Do you remember? No, was

1:11:28

he like on a screen or

1:11:31

something? He's on the screen. I

1:11:33

consider the only thing that's funnier

1:11:35

if it's real to me is

1:11:37

the music. Yeah. Because seeing cartoons

1:11:39

singing, like, champagne cowboy isn't funny.

1:11:41

Right. Seeing real people, really emoting

1:11:43

is funny? Yes. But everything else

1:11:46

could be animated, but I'm not

1:11:48

even sold on that. Well, after

1:11:50

this, I will show you, um,

1:11:52

I will show you some stuff

1:11:54

we shot and you tell me

1:11:56

what you think. I can just

1:11:58

send it to you. Yeah, do

1:12:01

it. Can we show it on

1:12:03

the show? We don't have to.

1:12:05

I think so. I don't know

1:12:07

what they own what they own.

1:12:09

Me? Oh, wait, because somebody, a

1:12:11

production company was like, let's throw

1:12:13

a little sizzle together? They did.

1:12:16

Yeah, and we shot, we shot

1:12:18

some stuff. We shot about four

1:12:20

scenes. And it was, was the

1:12:22

show about a guy doing a

1:12:24

podcast? It was, but it was

1:12:26

as though you were, you're watching

1:12:29

a video version of the podcast.

1:12:31

I see. So he's, but he's

1:12:33

talking, when the podcast is the

1:12:35

podcast, he's talking directly to you.

1:12:37

Yeah. But it's, it's on VCR.

1:12:39

So you know when it's in

1:12:41

this little play blinking I kind

1:12:44

of looks dated and aged and

1:12:46

done poorly I see yeah I

1:12:48

have strong feelings about the show

1:12:50

I spent a lot of time

1:12:52

thinking about how to make everyone

1:12:54

in the world no valley heat

1:12:56

I'm like a thank you I'm

1:12:59

like an insane person but that's

1:13:01

also how I enjoy things I

1:13:03

go like how do we I

1:13:05

could see like the Bob's Burgers

1:13:07

Lauren Maybe maybe we'll just send

1:13:09

it to him. He just needs

1:13:12

to hear well the person that

1:13:14

I was working with and he

1:13:16

doesn't disagree with you We worked

1:13:18

on it, but you know who

1:13:20

Ian Maxstone Graham is from Simpsons?

1:13:22

He's one of the he's been

1:13:24

on us and he wrote an

1:13:27

S&L and The Simpsons and did

1:13:29

V and man-seeking woman brilliant guy

1:13:31

like a Harvard lampoon guy and

1:13:33

he He is as someone who

1:13:35

worked in animation for a long

1:13:37

time. was also like yeah I

1:13:39

could see it he wanted to

1:13:42

do it live more really but

1:13:44

you know when that we didn't

1:13:46

get any bites with the four

1:13:48

times we pitched it so we

1:13:50

started talking about it but we're

1:13:52

still unsure that's interesting I don't

1:13:55

even trust my own instincts necessarily

1:13:57

it's not like I'm died in

1:13:59

the wool TV producer but I

1:14:01

was like it's got to be

1:14:03

a cartoon I wouldn't have Michael

1:14:05

Connell be your father in law

1:14:07

right and it has to be

1:14:10

him I mean It would be

1:14:12

some really, it would have to

1:14:14

be really great makeup. It's true.

1:14:16

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want

1:14:18

to see Michael Connell in great

1:14:20

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1:14:22

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order. So a little bit about you

1:18:14

leading up to Valley Heaton and my

1:18:17

fascination with it, you were on, because

1:18:19

I was like, who is this guy?

1:18:21

Yeah, and apologies for not knowing, I

1:18:23

mean, it really wasn't. It was not

1:18:25

a fun time for me. Really? No,

1:18:27

I was, I wasn't ready for that

1:18:29

level. How old I was 30 I

1:18:32

think? Okay. And I just, I just

1:18:34

didn't really fit in there. People that

1:18:36

washed it didn't, didn't love me on

1:18:38

it. My son, the other day... I

1:18:40

would say that Matt TV seems to

1:18:42

skew towards the Joe Camel liking people.

1:18:44

I mean, it's kids. And you get

1:18:47

there and you're like, you hear the

1:18:49

audience laugh and you're like, those are

1:18:51

all children. I wonder if that's what

1:18:53

it was. It was like S&L for

1:18:55

younger people. I think so. I think

1:18:57

it was, it skewed a little younger.

1:18:59

Yeah. And you were going to say

1:19:02

though, I interrupted. You got there, you

1:19:04

were 30, you didn't fit in. Oh,

1:19:06

I just, yeah, I just, it wasn't

1:19:08

for me. I was sort of, you

1:19:10

know, it's a much bigger comedy. I

1:19:12

came from the growlings and I think

1:19:14

that I found my voice long after

1:19:17

that. being more just knowing where I

1:19:19

was coming from what I thought was

1:19:21

funny I was doing a lot I

1:19:23

was wanted to be on S&L when

1:19:25

I was a kid and so I

1:19:27

really worked hard to to be a

1:19:29

sketch guy and an improv guy but

1:19:32

it was never quite my thing hmm

1:19:34

yeah but when you got it you

1:19:36

must have been thrilled I was how

1:19:38

did you audition what was your well

1:19:40

audition like three different years in the

1:19:42

first time I was I just did

1:19:44

monologues that were so long and I

1:19:47

had no idea but then by the

1:19:49

end I was like oh just go

1:19:51

in and get a couple laughs. Yeah.

1:19:53

So I had some characters, I'd just

1:19:55

get a laugh move on to the

1:19:57

next character. And it just didn't quite

1:19:59

click for me. My son the other

1:20:02

day, we were eating dinner and he

1:20:04

goes, you know, I was looking at

1:20:06

one of your sketches on Mad TV

1:20:08

and this guy wrote, oh my God,

1:20:10

whenever this guy was on, I'd bring

1:20:12

my friends in and we would just

1:20:14

moan. Why did you just moan? Why

1:20:17

did you tell me that? that I

1:20:19

felt bad because he thought it was

1:20:21

really funny. He was like, oh, I

1:20:23

thought you could find it. It was

1:20:25

funny. I was like. I think it

1:20:27

just channeled this trauma from that time.

1:20:29

My friend Matt was like, I just

1:20:32

read this horrible comment on this thing

1:20:34

you did and I was like, don't

1:20:36

ever tell me, I don't even want

1:20:38

to hear a good one, just don't

1:20:40

tell me any of that. Yeah, leave

1:20:42

me, leave me, leave me, leave me,

1:20:44

that is so funny. But it's so

1:20:47

funny, on your list of impressions on

1:20:49

your Wikipedia, do you know what the

1:20:51

first one is? There's a list of

1:20:53

impressions? Yeah. Adolf Hitler is your first.

1:20:55

What would you? Anybody, that's funny, anybody

1:20:57

can do Adolf Hitler. Scream in a

1:20:59

German, yeah. I mean, but that, but

1:21:02

the thing is, I'm not even, I'm

1:21:04

singing. That's not, it was a sketch,

1:21:06

it was like a bit where, remember

1:21:08

when Elin John was doing duets with

1:21:10

all, he did them with all these

1:21:12

different people. So they did a bit

1:21:14

where somebody was Elin John and then

1:21:17

I was, and then in one of

1:21:19

them. He was doing it with all

1:21:21

these different weird historical figures and one

1:21:23

of them was Hitler, but he said

1:21:25

he was like he sang like Unforgettable

1:21:27

So that was not that was that

1:21:29

was not a Hitler impression None of

1:21:32

that none the least that is funny

1:21:34

to that's just someone going in and

1:21:36

adding things I think well, that's what

1:21:38

happens when it's an open source website.

1:21:40

Yes, it also said Leno I feel

1:21:42

like that's another a lot yeah I

1:21:44

didn't want to do that I mean

1:21:47

back I think back then it was

1:21:49

nobody was doing it but the problem

1:21:51

with that was that the joke was

1:21:53

kind of with Leno is that the

1:21:55

jokes aren't really that funny. So then

1:21:57

if you do a joke about jokes

1:21:59

that aren't funny, it's not funny. I

1:22:02

completely agree. In fact, that's sort of

1:22:04

a pet peeve of mine is when

1:22:06

people do the character who's bad at

1:22:08

stand up. Yeah, it's like what? And

1:22:10

I'm like, we know this. We came

1:22:12

here to not have this. Or the

1:22:14

bad magician. Yeah, you see that just

1:22:17

as much. It's like, well, what if,

1:22:19

what if he stinksksinksks, I've been seeing,

1:22:21

I haven't, I haven't seen that, I've

1:22:23

seen that bit. That would be worse.

1:22:25

I mean, Steve Martin did it well,

1:22:27

but I mean, because he was brief.

1:22:29

It was brief. But I've seen long,

1:22:32

bad magician gags. And I'm just like,

1:22:34

yeah, magic's really fucking hard. That's the

1:22:36

point. It's kind of your point about

1:22:38

music. Music is really hard. So it's

1:22:40

funnier that you're making fun of the

1:22:42

music. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

1:22:44

yeah. Oh, I just had this other

1:22:47

area that I was going to go

1:22:49

to go to go to. This is

1:22:51

going to go to go to. This

1:22:53

is like, this. This is like, Valley

1:22:55

Heat. This is like Valley. This is

1:22:57

like Valley. That's so you heard that

1:23:00

I don't even know where that came

1:23:02

from, but now I have to say

1:23:04

it after every time I bet every

1:23:06

people have said So you heard that

1:23:08

is really funny. So you heard that

1:23:10

I'm like, I guess I have to

1:23:12

say that But that goes back to

1:23:15

duck. So after he plays a clip

1:23:17

or recording of his therapist or whatever

1:23:19

he comes back is so you heard

1:23:21

that and it's usually after something insane

1:23:23

and that's that zen kind of He's

1:23:25

like a stone in a river. Everything's

1:23:27

just kind of flowing over. He's like,

1:23:30

you heard that. It's like, someone just

1:23:32

crashed into your house and you're just

1:23:34

like, so you heard that. Yeah. It's

1:23:36

a great attitude towards life. Yeah. Towards

1:23:38

life. So, and then what, what was,

1:23:40

what have you done in your career?

1:23:42

Mad TV was brief. And now we're

1:23:45

here at Valley Heat. What was in

1:23:47

between that? So I did Mad TV

1:23:49

and then I was not on Mad

1:23:51

TV. Well, it hurt for sure, but

1:23:53

I really was unhappy. Who was on

1:23:55

your season? Alex Boerstein and Stephanie Weir

1:23:57

was on. She had just, she was

1:24:00

new as I was and. Andy Daley

1:24:02

and Mike McDonald, Alex Borstein,

1:24:04

Deborah was on it, Aries was

1:24:06

on it, and Will Sasso. Okay, yeah,

1:24:08

very funny people. And they brought

1:24:11

you, is it like the classic

1:24:13

they brought you in or did

1:24:15

your manager just say they're

1:24:17

not bringing you back? They

1:24:19

waited until the day that

1:24:22

the contract had to be renewed

1:24:24

or canned and then there was...

1:24:27

after business hours and my

1:24:29

manager had to call and

1:24:31

they're like yeah I was

1:24:33

like somebody hiding under their

1:24:35

desk yeah we're not doing it.

1:24:38

What if you had the contract

1:24:40

and you folded in like mad

1:24:42

magazine and it's all right today's

1:24:44

the day yeah! It's a new

1:24:46

what do you get when you

1:24:48

it's like a middle and it

1:24:50

goes you're not coming back? Shit

1:24:52

can. Yeah, shit can. If you're

1:24:54

laughing, you're over 40. I mean,

1:24:56

like, if you remember, madfolded. Oh

1:24:59

my God. So how did you

1:25:01

bounce back? That must have been

1:25:03

a big blow. Were you still

1:25:05

with the groundlings? I was still

1:25:07

with the groundlings and I kept doing

1:25:09

that and then I got a job

1:25:12

as a story editor at MTV with

1:25:14

reality stuff. Okay. So I wanted

1:25:16

to get back in a comedy, started

1:25:18

doing a stand-up. Yeah. And it

1:25:20

was terrifying. just like because I originally came here

1:25:22

to do stand-up. Oh really? And I was terrified

1:25:24

and didn't do it and went to ground links.

1:25:26

Oh wow. That's what all the stand-ups think by

1:25:28

the way. What? We're all like, oh yeah, you

1:25:30

couldn't do stand-up? Well they're right. They're right, but

1:25:33

it comes back you go, God damn it, I

1:25:35

can't. Is that it? Is that your experience? First

1:25:37

of all, I want to say there are, I

1:25:39

keep saying died in the wool, but there are

1:25:41

died in the wool true improvisers that you're like,

1:25:43

holy shit, that is an amazing sketch person. Like

1:25:45

I wouldn't want Kristen wig in a million years

1:25:47

to do stand up. Nobody thinks Kristen wig can't

1:25:49

do stand. And she's brilliant. And then there are, I mean,

1:25:51

the reason I know that is because I know that is

1:25:53

because I know that is because I made that is because

1:25:55

I made that is because I made that choice for a choice for a

1:25:57

choice for a choice for a choice for a choice for a long time.

1:25:59

I was a stand-up hiding in improv

1:26:02

teams. Is that true? You were doing

1:26:04

improv? I was briefly kind of before

1:26:06

I really dove into stand-up. So I

1:26:08

understand that. I'm projecting myself on to

1:26:10

you. But what was your experience with

1:26:13

stand-up? Well, it's funny you say the

1:26:15

improv thing because I don't know if

1:26:17

you remember, you probably weren't here yet,

1:26:19

but there used to be another improv

1:26:22

in Santa Monica. Oh, really? And after

1:26:24

the Northridge earthquake, I think it burned

1:26:26

down or something. when you did an

1:26:28

open mic you went to this improv

1:26:31

and you signed up to go up

1:26:33

there in 30 days and I got

1:26:35

there and I had never done stand-up.

1:26:37

You never done it in 30 days?

1:26:39

And I went and it was a

1:26:42

packed house and this is the improv.

1:26:44

The improv to me was just something

1:26:46

I saw on television when I was

1:26:48

a kid. Yeah. And I sat there

1:26:51

for about 10 minutes and I just

1:26:53

got I'm not going up because what?

1:26:55

I'm not going up because, okay. And

1:26:57

he scratched it off and I walked

1:27:00

out so dejected and I ran into

1:27:02

a guy on the promenade who I

1:27:04

knew from some improv classes. He was

1:27:06

like, yeah, do improv because at least

1:27:08

you're up there with other people. And

1:27:11

so I did for many years. You

1:27:13

know, you might think that I might

1:27:15

guess that you would think that I

1:27:17

think that story is like stupid or

1:27:20

something. I love that story. Standup is

1:27:22

not like a packed house. It's your

1:27:24

first time. Get out of there. Like

1:27:26

you don't, you, very funny person, that's

1:27:29

not how you should do it. You're

1:27:31

supposed to be in a laundromat. Yes.

1:27:33

For six people. And that's what I

1:27:35

knew after I had done for years

1:27:37

and mad TV and all that, I

1:27:40

was like, you have to start at

1:27:42

the beginning. Yeah. You cannot just step

1:27:44

into this. It's actually bad for you.

1:27:46

Even if you do well, that's not.

1:27:49

Correct like you kind of I don't

1:27:51

know it's almost like you have to

1:27:53

work out more. Yeah strong before you're

1:27:55

in game like don't get in the

1:27:58

game absolutely haven't done any drills like

1:28:00

do your drills yeah I mean I

1:28:02

had a couple ideas that I'd written

1:28:04

down in a little notebook yeah get

1:28:06

out of there because it also would

1:28:09

have scarred you it would have been

1:28:11

a probably a traumatic experience maybe we

1:28:13

don't know so leaving and running into

1:28:15

a guy that's a good story but

1:28:18

then you went back to it after

1:28:20

reality was always something that I wanted

1:28:22

to be good at yeah and I

1:28:24

think I got to everyone I know

1:28:27

now I know through having gone back

1:28:29

and doing stand-up and I think I

1:28:31

got, you know, I had my moments,

1:28:33

you know, I would love to go

1:28:35

back, but it's still, it's something that

1:28:38

makes me so nervous. I just love

1:28:40

that about you though. I think you're

1:28:42

so funny and that sensitivity that makes

1:28:44

you nervous. When I say sensitivity, I

1:28:47

really mean an artistic temperament. You know

1:28:49

what I mean? Like, yeah. Sensitivity isn't

1:28:51

like being a candy. It's, it's a

1:28:53

hyper awareness and a vulnerability, which is

1:28:56

why you're able to like create and

1:28:58

make so many people joyful with your,

1:29:00

with your stuff. That's also, the other

1:29:02

side of that sort is like, I

1:29:04

can't, you know what I mean? Like,

1:29:07

what am I, I wouldn't change it

1:29:09

for the world. And yet I'm, I'm

1:29:11

sort of surprised because when I hear

1:29:13

like the Joe Camelamel thing, I'm like,

1:29:16

if we could just get you doing...

1:29:18

What am I? Your manager? I'm just

1:29:20

saying you could just say what you're

1:29:22

saying. I keep telling you, I can't

1:29:25

do it. I'm on a car phone

1:29:27

in a Corvette. Just do what you

1:29:29

do on the podcast. Now he's going

1:29:31

to want to stand up again. Hold

1:29:33

on. Listen, God damn it. I would

1:29:36

love to do it and I love

1:29:38

the idea of doing it and I

1:29:40

can do it. It's just, you know

1:29:42

what I never got, I don't know

1:29:45

if you've ever experienced this, but you

1:29:47

can never simulate. What it is to

1:29:49

be standing on stage live. I know

1:29:51

matter what I never every time I

1:29:54

know you got it this time Yeah,

1:29:56

this time you've got your jokes you

1:29:58

get there you're like hey, I don't

1:30:00

have it. I don't have anything I've

1:30:02

got nothing I'm going to agree with

1:30:05

you because what's funny about Valley Heat

1:30:07

is you have the control. That's what's

1:30:09

brilliant about it is you... It is

1:30:11

the control. Wait till you're in the

1:30:14

mood or you can warm up and

1:30:16

get in the mood. So you're talking

1:30:18

about doing things again and then you're

1:30:20

editing it and that's the way to

1:30:23

archaeologist soft brush off Christian Dugay and

1:30:25

there he is. Comedy like live comedy

1:30:27

stand-up comedy is a very unnatural thing

1:30:29

and the older I get the more

1:30:31

I realize what a toll it takes

1:30:34

on me is to deliver yourself in

1:30:36

a state a certain state of Playfulness

1:30:38

and desire to connect right and when

1:30:40

sometimes you do feel playful and you

1:30:43

want to connect yeah like most of

1:30:45

the time Some of my best shows

1:30:47

I'm like anything and it's just like

1:30:49

this forcing and it gets in your

1:30:52

muscles and then you start like muscle

1:30:54

memory like vocal memory I think it's

1:30:56

really important for that I can see

1:30:58

how that that's true and I never

1:31:00

really got to that point where I

1:31:03

could feel that free up there. It's

1:31:05

just the experience of the green room

1:31:07

and the dreariness of like, it's just

1:31:09

a weird place to sit. You're just

1:31:12

like, we just sit here? You're making

1:31:14

you sit here? This is what we

1:31:16

do. We sit here. We don't know

1:31:18

each other. Yeah. And you look at

1:31:21

your phone and you're fine? You're fine.

1:31:23

I'm dead. What you are highlighting, I

1:31:25