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1:01

to the Your World

1:03

Within podcast. I'm

1:06

Eddie Pinaro. And

1:08

today's episode is going to be about focus.

1:12

So many of us

1:14

struggle with clarity in a

1:16

world moving so fast

1:18

with so many options and

1:20

distractions and shiny objects. We

1:23

have a hard time,

1:25

one, identifying what matters and

1:28

two, holding on

1:30

to it. So

1:32

I'm going to talk about focus today. First,

1:35

in a broad sense, and

1:37

then dial in some specific

1:39

stories and examples. First

1:43

and foremost, focus

1:45

is subtle. It

1:47

isn't loud. It

1:51

doesn't scream for your attention. It

1:55

waits quietly

1:57

in the corner

2:00

behind all the noise. It's

2:03

not that it's

2:05

hard to find

2:07

It's that often

2:09

we stop looking

2:12

We stop asking what really

2:14

matters and start chasing

2:16

everything that doesn't Just like

2:18

cleaning a fogged up

2:20

mirror. You already have the

2:22

reflection You just have to remove

2:24

the steam Focus

2:30

begins when you stop answering to the

2:32

chaos. When you

2:34

realize you don't need to do more, you

2:36

need to do less, better.

2:40

You need to slow down, look

2:42

inward, ask

2:45

different questions. Because

2:50

something I've come to learn is that

2:52

most of us aren't burnt out from

2:54

effort. We're burnt out from distraction. From

2:58

being pulled in directions we never choose

3:00

by people we don't even know

3:02

towards outcomes we don't even want. So

3:06

breathe. Let

3:09

this be your return

3:12

to stillness. To

3:14

vision. To

3:17

that fire you've buried under

3:19

deadlines and to due

3:21

lists and opinions. There's

3:25

nothing wrong with

3:27

ambition But ambition

3:29

without clarity is like

3:32

running blindfolded right

3:34

fast but in

3:36

circles Well, it's

3:39

focus that turns that motion

3:41

into progress That's

3:43

what turns effort into transformation and

3:45

it starts with asking What

3:47

truly matters in my life? What

3:51

is non -negotiable? What

3:54

am I here to build

3:56

to become to leave

3:58

behind? Once

4:02

you find that

4:04

you let go of

4:06

the rest Because

4:11

here's a simple truth

4:13

there will always be

4:15

more you could do

4:17

But that doesn't mean that you should You

4:21

don't need to prove to yourself to people

4:24

who wouldn't notice you if you disappeared

4:26

tomorrow You don't need to impress strangers. You

4:28

don't need to say yes just to

4:30

be liked You

4:33

need to protect the

4:35

path Guard your time like

4:37

it's your life because guess

4:39

what it is

4:42

Every

4:44

scroll every

4:46

tab Every yes,

4:48

every concession, every

4:50

open loop steals from

4:52

your future. We

4:57

talk about legacy like it's some distant thing,

5:00

but legacy

5:02

is built right now in

5:04

this decision, this hour,

5:06

this breath. What

5:09

you focus on today

5:12

writes the story they

5:14

tell tomorrow. It's

5:17

not about intensity. It's

5:20

about consistency and it's not

5:22

a sprint. It's a return,

5:24

a rhythm, one breath, one

5:27

task, one yes at a

5:29

time. There's

5:35

nothing sexy about

5:37

mastery. It's not

5:39

flashy. It's

5:42

the person in the corner showing

5:44

up when no one's watching,

5:46

choosing the work again and again,

5:48

that focus, that's how greatness

5:50

is built in the quiet, in

5:52

the things that you walk

5:54

away from, unannounced, unproclaimed, only

5:58

to make room for the things that matter

6:01

most. There's

6:10

no jericky parable when

6:14

I first got into personal development,

6:16

really understanding how to take

6:18

control of my life, to highlight

6:20

the things that lit me

6:22

up and moved towards those things

6:24

that energized and invigorated me. This

6:27

really echoed in my

6:30

head. So

6:32

let's start here. A

6:35

grandfather sitting with his grandson. The

6:38

boy is angry. He's

6:40

confused about things happening in

6:42

his life Grandfather decides

6:44

kind of takes it upon

6:46

himself to sit with

6:49

the boy And help him

6:51

find the light we'll

6:53

say So he sits down next to

6:55

his grandson says I'm gonna

6:57

tell you a story there

6:59

are two wolves inside all

7:01

of us always fighting one

7:03

is fear, doubt,

7:06

comparison, and chaos. The

7:10

other is clarity, strength,

7:14

focus, and love. The

7:18

grandson takes it in, thinks about it

7:20

for a moment, and asks, well, grandpa,

7:23

which one wins? The

7:26

old man replies, the

7:28

one you feed. And

7:33

really, that's what focus is. It's

7:35

feeding the right wolf. It's

7:39

deciding what voice gets your

7:41

energy, what path gets

7:43

your time, what thought gets

7:45

to grow. You

7:49

don't get to silence all the noise,

7:51

we're human. But

7:55

you do get to choose which signal

7:57

becomes your soundtrack. In

8:00

every moment you are

8:02

either feeding fear or

8:04

feeding your future. See,

8:08

focus isn't about having

8:10

no distractions. Again,

8:12

that's a fool's errand. What

8:15

it is is

8:17

having the discipline to

8:20

return, to choose, to

8:23

show up, to

8:25

begin again. Because

8:29

the strongest minds didn't

8:32

silence the world,

8:34

they strengthened their intention.

8:39

So let's go a little bit deeper now.

8:41

Let's talk about building from this

8:44

space. Focus

8:46

is the soil where

8:49

vision becomes reality. Think

8:51

about it like this. You don't plan

8:53

a seed and expect a tree the next

8:55

day. You water it. You

8:57

shield it. You wait and you

9:00

trust. Goals

9:04

and dreams are no different.

9:06

They take time and they take,

9:08

you guessed it, focus, intentionality.

9:14

Not the kind of focus that burns

9:16

out, not hustle until I collapse, but

9:19

the kind that

9:21

whispers the gentle reminder,

9:24

one more rep, one more

9:26

day. It

9:28

may be uncomfortable, but it's supposed

9:30

to, so stay with it. There's

9:35

a misconception that discipline

9:37

is what drains you.

9:41

But discipline doesn't drain you.

9:43

Distraction does. Dissonance

9:45

between what you want

9:47

and what you're doing drains

9:49

you. Every

9:52

time you stop and restart,

9:54

you lose rhythm and rhythm

9:56

is how flow is born.

9:58

So protect that. Protect

10:01

your mornings, protect your

10:03

deep work, protect your peace.

10:08

If that world out there

10:10

can take your focus, it

10:12

can and it will take

10:14

your future. Robin

10:17

Sharma has a quote. He says,

10:19

you can be distracted or you

10:21

can do incredible things, but you

10:23

can't do both. So

10:27

let's start by honoring

10:29

your boundaries. Realize

10:33

it's okay to say no to the

10:35

things that don't belong. Instead,

10:39

start looking for the little sparks.

10:42

The flickers of momentum that will light

10:45

that fire in your soul. It

10:47

was so freeing to understand that

10:49

not everything deserves your response. Not every

10:51

comment deserves your energy. Not every

10:54

opportunity is worth your attention. And

10:57

I think that's it. In

10:59

a nutshell, the difference

11:01

between movement and momentum. between

11:03

busy and becoming. Feed

11:09

the good wolf. That

11:14

in itself requires

11:16

intentionality because it

11:18

also encompasses the

11:20

awareness to push

11:23

away the bad

11:25

wolf, the negativity,

11:28

the things that prevent the

11:30

seed from growing. This

11:36

next example refers to

11:38

a phrase that says

11:40

what you water grows

11:42

Every day there's a

11:44

specific decision you have

11:47

to make This is

11:49

the most practical truth

11:51

Two voices speaking one

11:53

says you can the

11:55

other says you're not

11:57

enough one whispers keep

11:59

going the other tempts

12:01

you to quit one

12:03

builds one breaks And

12:07

the thing is neither

12:09

wins by default, they win

12:12

based upon the attention

12:14

you give them. Their

12:16

success is again predicated

12:18

upon your focus. like

12:21

watering two plants. Every

12:23

thought, every click, every choice is

12:26

water and which one are you

12:28

going to nourish? What

12:31

are you going to give attention to? You

12:35

can't expect peace when you

12:37

feed chaos. You

12:40

can't expect courage when you

12:42

fuel doubt. Focus

12:46

is your diet, and what you

12:48

consume becomes who you are. It's

12:51

like tuning a radio. There's

12:53

always static, always chaos, but

12:56

there's also a signal. There's

12:59

a frequency of truth, of

13:01

clarity waiting to be found. It's

13:05

what dials down the noise.

13:07

It's what says, I know the

13:09

fear is loud, but I

13:11

choose progress anyway. And

13:14

I know the distractions are

13:16

fun, but I choose purpose.

13:20

Because oftentimes the good voice, it's

13:23

quieter. It

13:26

doesn't yell for your attention,

13:28

it waits. So today, choose

13:30

what lifts. Choose what aligns,

13:32

choose what reminds you who

13:34

you are and what you're

13:36

building. You're not just working.

13:39

You're tuning the signal in your

13:41

life. You're shaping the story

13:43

of your future and the story

13:46

you feed, you water

13:48

becomes the life you live. You're

13:53

the author. Don't

13:57

forget you are the

13:59

author, not the audience, not

14:01

the critics. You

14:03

choose the storyline with

14:05

the tone and the

14:08

pacing The way the

14:10

hero bends breaks and

14:12

rises again That's on

14:15

you And I get

14:17

it it's hard to

14:19

keep that in mind

14:21

in a world full

14:24

of voices of decisions

14:26

In a lot of

14:28

ways of compliance Everyone

14:31

watching, judging, everyone telling you where

14:33

the plot should go, but here's

14:35

the truth. They

14:38

do not hold the

14:40

pen. You do. It's

14:45

like trying to write in a

14:47

loud row. People shouting, screens flashing, noise

14:49

coming from every direction. But

14:51

the only thing that matters is

14:53

what gets written on the page. Can

14:57

you hold the pen steady? Can

15:00

you write your truth even when no one

15:02

claps? Even when the

15:04

pages are messy? Because

15:07

that's where the real story

15:09

lives. Not

15:11

in the comments, not in the applause, not

15:13

in the fear of how it will

15:15

end. It lives in the choice to keep

15:18

creating. Of

15:20

course it would be easier

15:22

to follow someone else's script. But

15:25

that's not much of a life,

15:27

is it? The

15:31

idea is like standing on stage

15:33

with the lights in your eyes. If

15:35

you start looking around for approval,

15:37

you forget your lines. The

15:39

spotlight is yours, not to

15:41

impress but to express. To

15:45

remind yourself and maybe the

15:47

world that this chapter is not

15:49

finished, that this character

15:51

is still becoming, that

15:54

the best parts are

15:56

still unwritten. In

15:59

your job, your only job

16:01

is to write boldly, rewrite

16:03

if you have to. But

16:07

don't hand over

16:09

the pen. Not

16:13

to anyone. Ever.

16:15

It's your superpower. It's your

16:17

strength. It's your story. You're not

16:20

here to be understood. You're

16:22

here to understand yourself and to

16:24

build something so true that

16:26

even the critics go quiet. It

16:30

was not about them.

16:32

It was never about them.

16:35

It's about where you

16:37

go from here. Chasing

16:45

Fireflies. I

16:49

spent some time in

16:51

Roanoke, Virginia. One

16:53

of the most beautiful places I've

16:55

ever lived. It's a

16:57

little valley surrounded by the Blue

16:59

Ridge Mountains. And

17:01

across the street from my

17:04

apartment at the time was a

17:06

park you could look over

17:08

in the evening, and you'd see

17:10

hundreds of fireflies flying around. I

17:14

always thought it was such a cool thing. You

17:17

know, it brings back when I was

17:19

really young, when I was a kid, and

17:21

it was such a thrill running around

17:23

trying to chase those things. And

17:27

seeing this day in and day

17:29

out led me to think, you

17:31

know, 20 -something years later

17:33

about all the things that

17:36

have changed in my life. Because

17:40

back then, life was pretty straightforward.

17:45

As a child, you know,

17:47

you place your value on what feels right

17:49

in the present. You're not thinking

17:51

about two years down the road or wondering what

17:53

others are going to think. Your

17:56

creativity in your sense of

17:58

exploration are running on all

18:00

cylinders Then something happens and

18:02

we begin to understand the

18:04

way of things We see

18:06

what's valued in society. We

18:08

see what's expected. We see

18:10

how success is defined And

18:12

then so begins our ascent

18:15

up the ladder and rung

18:17

by rung we climb Looking

18:19

above us to see where

18:21

others are See how fast

18:23

they move in relation to

18:25

us. Which

18:27

eventually this coincides with

18:30

how we see ourselves. And

18:34

as you know, how you see yourself

18:36

is the best indicator of what you will

18:38

become. Which

18:44

is why when so many people aren't

18:46

happy with their day to day, it's

18:48

a huge red flag. That's

18:51

breathing. that's not living.

18:54

Folks have been climbing this ladder their

18:56

entire lives and never stopped to ask

18:58

if it's where they were meant to

19:01

be. Maybe the

19:03

top of this community ladder isn't what

19:05

you want, but

19:07

you never thought

19:09

you only acted. And

19:12

if you don't think, if you

19:14

don't ask yourself the question, you

19:17

will climb and you will climb

19:19

and you will climb. That

19:21

is until you burn out.

19:26

I try and spend a few minutes every

19:28

day thinking about this. After

19:30

all, it's the most important thing I

19:32

can spend time on. It's my

19:35

life. It's more

19:37

important than green paper. Means

19:39

more than the opinions of others. It's

19:41

a backbone of everything. Everything

19:44

around me and the meaning I

19:47

give it stems from how I

19:49

identify myself. Who

19:52

I am Which brings

19:54

me back to those

19:56

fireflies To running around

19:59

on a hot summer

20:01

evening not having a

20:03

care in the world

20:05

There's something intrinsically perfect

20:08

about those moments Life

20:10

is about peak experiences

20:12

joy excitement so that

20:14

you never lose that

20:17

spark Because the way

20:19

I see it That

20:21

energy is all that separates

20:23

us from every other being

20:26

on the planet if we

20:28

don't have that What do

20:30

we have what separates us

20:32

from ants moving dirt? It's

20:34

just monotonous action based on

20:36

instinct There's no thrill in

20:38

that Why not create a

20:40

life that allows you to

20:43

feel that excitement every day

20:45

don't act because you were

20:47

supposed to Act because

20:49

you so desperately want to

20:51

that there's no other option

20:53

Because you couldn't live without

20:55

the adventure you couldn't pass

20:57

on the experience Here's a

20:59

secret if you become fixated

21:01

on a life that means

21:03

nothing to you At some

21:05

point you will look around

21:07

and that is exactly what

21:09

you will see a beautiful

21:11

view of everything you do

21:13

not want So

21:18

maybe there is

21:20

something the whole chasing

21:22

firefly routine Maybe

21:24

Just maybe a four

21:27

-year -old running after

21:29

a glowing bug with

21:31

a jar Deserves

21:33

more credit than he's

21:35

given Great

21:49

progress is often the

21:51

result of subtle change. Seeing

21:54

something just a little bit

21:57

differently than you did just a

21:59

moment before. It's

22:02

not that the world around you has

22:04

changed. It's that

22:06

your thoughts about it have. It's

22:11

that you looked hard enough

22:13

to see the opportunity when

22:15

most simply walked by it.

22:21

See people live in

22:23

this place called reality

22:25

this little plot of

22:27

land Surrounded by a

22:29

fence that separates them

22:31

from the imaginary the

22:33

impossible and the make -believe

22:35

But what if? What

22:39

if you took a second to

22:41

stop? To look out

22:43

at the unknown what if

22:45

every day you push that fence

22:47

back little by little watching

22:50

what used to be

22:52

imaginary become your new

22:54

reality. Soon

22:57

you'd look around and you'd

22:59

wonder why a boundary ever

23:01

existed at all. Almost

23:06

as though no

23:08

word is as deceitful

23:10

as impossible. Impossible

23:14

is as temporary as

23:16

falling raindrop. It's a bar

23:18

that's constantly moving, and

23:20

as goes your mind, so

23:23

does the world around you. When

23:26

that intersection of real

23:28

and imaginary blend together, possibilities

23:32

multiply. Limitations

23:35

crumble and fall, and

23:37

failure is no longer

23:39

an endpoint. Becomes

23:41

an invitation to begin

23:44

again. Two

23:49

things define your world.

23:52

Your perception of it and how

23:54

you act on that perception. So

23:59

never ask yourself if something

24:01

can be done. The question

24:03

is how. It's how. How

24:05

are you going to do

24:07

it? How

24:10

are you going to make yourself believe

24:12

it can happen? We

24:17

were never taught to see

24:20

the opportunity in everything. We

24:23

were taught to be practical,

24:25

to listen, to follow orders, to

24:27

accept what is. But

24:31

it's the unknowns that point us in

24:33

the direction of what we want most.

24:38

They're not conventional. But

24:41

then again, neither were airplanes,

24:43

spaceships, or driverless cars not that

24:45

long ago. Your

24:48

goal is not just to live. It's

24:51

to live a life without walls.

24:54

A life where you are

24:56

that author and your

24:58

story can be shared with

25:01

the world. One

25:05

day will all make sense. As

25:08

one Steve Jobs said during

25:10

a Stanford commencement speech, you

25:12

can't connect the dots looking forward.

25:14

You can only connect them looking

25:17

backward. So you

25:19

have to trust that the dots will somehow

25:21

connect in your future. Your

25:24

job isn't to know, but

25:26

to trust that someday you

25:28

will. It's

25:30

to have the courage to

25:32

paint in real time a portrait

25:34

that will be ever evolving.

25:36

It's the strength to be wrong,

25:38

the resolve to rise to

25:40

your feet time and time again.

25:45

Because one day it will

25:47

all make sense. And

25:50

you'll see. You'll

25:54

see that the roundabout, often

25:56

confusing, unpredictable road you walked

25:58

was the road you had

26:00

to take. It

26:03

made you who

26:05

you are. When

26:10

it's time for you to ditch

26:12

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Karen? You've taken the office

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step challenge, a step too far.

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Pussy, good! At GNC, nutrition,

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nutrition. Never

27:07

forget who you wanted

27:09

to be We were

27:11

sitting outside on the

27:13

patio when a friend

27:15

of mine said to

27:17

me People think they

27:19

need to go wide

27:21

But they're wrong It's

27:23

going deep that matters

27:26

We celebrate depth We

27:28

want to be around

27:30

deep people. They're the

27:32

ones who change things

27:36

And so -called deep people aren't

27:38

deep because they're born that way.

27:42

Deep people are deep because

27:44

they find a world

27:46

to call their own and

27:48

lose themselves in it. Depth

27:54

is creating your own kingdom and

27:56

picking up the crown at your

27:58

feet. And hearing that, sitting

28:01

with that idea, in all

28:03

honesty, it hurt. It

28:07

hurt because I knew that I'd

28:10

sacrificed depth in order to chase more.

28:14

More of what doesn't matter. More

28:17

of what isn't me. More

28:19

of what might make other people

28:21

happy. What

28:25

does that create? Well,

28:28

surprise, you now get to be

28:30

mediocre at a ton of things you

28:32

don't care about. Forget

28:35

all that. Leave it. Leave

28:39

it because the

28:41

clock is ticking Leave

28:43

it because you

28:45

can spend a lifetime

28:47

chasing distant galaxies

28:49

and orbiting around someone

28:51

else's moon Leave

28:53

it because you can

28:55

blink and realize

28:57

you built your entire

28:59

world in their

29:01

image But what if

29:03

I were to

29:05

remind you you Are

29:07

made of dust

29:10

from stars That's right

29:12

the same chemical

29:14

makeup that once lit

29:16

up the night

29:18

sky My friend the

29:20

universe is already

29:23

inside you It's just

29:25

that this one

29:27

needs permission to expand

29:31

This one needs you

29:33

to stop asking the

29:35

world for directions and

29:37

understand you are already

29:40

home The thing is

29:42

you know You know

29:44

what's required of you

29:46

just like I knew

29:48

looking at my friend

29:50

as he uttered those

29:52

words Two

29:54

things, one, stop

29:57

playing other people's games and two,

29:59

go all in on your

30:01

own. Find

30:03

your arena and light up

30:05

this stage. I

30:10

mean, imagine, imagine if you went

30:12

deeper on that thing that set

30:14

your soul ablaze. Imagine

30:16

if you knocked on the door to

30:19

your own personal infinity. What might live

30:21

on the other side? Because

30:25

it's easy to go

30:27

wide To dabble

30:29

in many things or

30:31

everything But the courage

30:33

Oh the courage to

30:35

go all in

30:37

on your thing The

30:40

courage to admit yeah

30:42

that path over there

30:44

it works But

30:46

it doesn't work for

30:48

me and therefore I

30:50

guess it doesn't Work

30:53

at all does

30:55

it Your greatness is

30:57

directly correlated to your

30:59

willingness to buy

31:01

into you To not

31:03

float on the surface

31:05

but to submerge to

31:08

its depths Explore

31:10

that place that so

31:12

many aren't willing to

31:14

go that place you

31:16

just a few

31:18

minutes ago weren't willing

31:20

to go But

31:24

now is a new day. A

31:27

new starting point to go

31:29

not wide but deep. Depth

31:32

is the only thing that

31:34

will simultaneously save your soul and

31:36

allow you to gift it

31:38

to the world. So

31:42

down, down,

31:45

down. Down

31:48

to the part of you

31:50

waiting to reemerge. to light

31:52

up the night sky once again.

31:56

Down, down,

32:00

down. To

32:03

the place where the

32:05

internal universe connects to

32:07

the external. Down,

32:12

down, down.

32:16

I'll meet you there. I'm

32:27

gonna defer back to the

32:29

quote from Robin Sharma that

32:31

states you can allow yourself

32:33

to be distracted or you

32:35

can do incredible things but

32:37

you can't do both. You

32:42

can stay where the safety

32:44

and security is or you can

32:46

risk what you have in

32:48

pursuit of your dreams but you

32:50

can't do both. You

32:55

can remain the character

32:57

depicted in yesterday's story

32:59

or you can take

33:02

those lessons Experiences and

33:04

craft a new story,

33:06

but you cannot do

33:08

both Life is a

33:11

game of trade -offs

33:13

Where any decision to

33:15

go in one direction

33:17

is a simultaneous decision

33:20

to not go in

33:22

another A

33:25

commitment to X is

33:27

necessarily a rejection of Y.

33:31

At least in that moment. Making

33:36

this question all the

33:38

more important, what is

33:40

your North Star? And

33:44

I ask because everything you

33:46

do is bringing you closer

33:49

to or holding you back

33:51

from capturing it. One

33:55

of my lifelines over

33:57

the years has been clinging

33:59

to the quote or

34:01

idea that simplicity is the

34:03

ultimate sophistication Right consistently

34:05

trying to arrive at that

34:07

place Why well because

34:09

when things get complex in

34:11

my life, I don't

34:13

know what I'm choosing Clutter

34:15

means I've lost sight

34:17

of what's necessary versus what's

34:19

trivial I

34:22

become unclear on those

34:24

critical trade -offs I'm

34:26

making and You know,

34:28

we've all experienced this

34:30

right the simple questions

34:32

are always the hardest

34:34

to answer We can

34:36

talk in circles about

34:38

the details But how

34:40

often are we honest

34:42

with ourselves about the

34:44

why I remember job

34:46

interviews in college going

34:48

on and on about The

34:51

books I read, the papers I'd

34:53

written, current events. But

34:55

then falling flat on my face when

34:57

asked, okay, so who's Eddie Panero? A

35:01

dude doing an interview? Like,

35:03

what do you want from me?

35:05

My brain had really never

35:07

gone there. Or

35:10

even less formal, right? I'll never forget

35:12

a friend of mine a few years

35:14

back asked me what my perfect day

35:16

was. Just casually as we're

35:18

driving. I said, I don't

35:21

know. Never really thought

35:23

about that. He

35:25

goes, okay. Well,

35:27

then how are you ever supposed to have a

35:29

perfect day if you don't know? And

35:32

how simple. Simple

35:35

and simultaneously incredible.

35:38

Who wants a life without perfect days? Like,

35:41

what is all this for?

35:45

The world is finite. And

35:49

you can be ruled by its

35:51

variability and its complexity. You

35:54

can run around adhering to all its

35:56

rules, hoping you're doing the right thing,

35:58

whatever that is. Or

36:01

can identify, carve out, and

36:04

rule over your own little piece

36:06

of it, your own

36:08

kingdom. But

36:12

first, take

36:14

the time to uncover who you

36:16

are, what lights you up, and

36:18

then, as Emerson

36:21

advocates, hitch your

36:23

wagon to that

36:25

star.