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Hi , welcome to the podcast

0:02

between hard and brave . I'm Sarah

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, and I'm here to be with you in

0:07

your personal growth and self-improvement

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journey , and I'm here to share

0:12

my own life experiences

0:14

with you . I'm a yoga teacher

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, a business intelligence manager

0:18

with a master's degree in IT

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, and Nobel Queen International 2023

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with health and wellness advocacy

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. I'm so excited to start

0:28

this journey with you , to uplift

0:31

you with positivity , the power

0:33

of mindfulness and yoga and

0:35

the freedom of conscious living . So

0:38

let's start together and

0:40

take a moment for yourself . Take

0:51

a moment for yourself . If you find yourself feeling off some days after you wake up without any

0:53

clear reason , or maybe throughout the day , and you're

0:55

struggling to come

0:57

to terms with it , this episode

1:00

is for you . In this episode

1:02

, I'm going to explore how

1:04

to embrace the natural

1:07

flow of our emotions , how

1:10

to cope with them and

1:12

how to deal with them

1:14

. Disclaimer I'm

1:16

not a psychologist or a psychiatrist

1:19

. What I'm sharing with

1:21

you here is my personal experiences

1:23

, things that work for me or

1:26

things that have worked for people

1:28

who share their experiences with me

1:30

, and if it's been able to

1:32

help me , probably it can help

1:34

someone else . That's why I'm here

1:36

, Sarah , talking to you . Maybe

1:39

you can find this episode

1:41

useful . This

1:52

episode useful . Sometimes we find ourselves feeling down all of a sudden and we cannot exactly

1:54

say why that's the case , and

1:57

that feeling down makes

1:59

us feel like , okay , maybe I'm

2:01

not normal , maybe my life

2:03

is sadder than the others , maybe

2:06

I'm supposed to always feel happy . This

2:09

is exactly what I want to discuss here

2:11

. You

2:17

know , social media or the things that we keep on hearing

2:19

, having to travel all the time

2:21

, having to have the best job this that Like life has become a lot more complicated

2:23

than the time that I was a kid . There

2:26

was no internet . Back then , your

2:28

world was basically people

2:30

around you , your city , maybe

2:33

your country . If you get to

2:35

go outside the country , you'll

2:38

see oh , apparently people live

2:40

like this too , but in the end , there

2:42

wasn't a lot of comparison . That's

2:44

why there were lower

2:46

levels of expectation

2:49

. However , right

2:51

now , because of the internet

2:53

and because information

2:55

is very much accessible to us

2:57

, just by a few tapping

3:00

on the keyboard or finger

3:03

taps tapping

3:08

on the keyboard or finger taps on our screens , the phones or the tablets , we are able to find out

3:10

what's happening somewhere else and

3:13

what's supposed to be normal and

3:15

what we supposedly

3:18

deserve , and that

3:20

puts a lot of pressure on

3:22

us . I had this

3:24

very nice conversation with my

3:26

sister . That

3:29

it's actually funny . We both

3:31

came to this conclusion around

3:33

the same time , not necessarily because

3:36

we were going through the same things , because she

3:38

lives in a separate country , I live in a separate

3:40

country , but we keep

3:42

in touch and usually our conversations

3:45

are about this stuff , so we're

3:47

able to support each other

3:49

emotionally even though we're far from each other

3:51

, and we realize that we're

3:54

done . Chasing happiness

3:56

. That's not human

3:58

. Being happy all the time is

4:01

not normal , because

4:03

a human feels all sort of

4:05

emotions , and that's okay

4:07

. Some days

4:09

you might wake up and you might be grateful

4:12

and you might be happy and might realize all the

4:14

things that you prayed for and you already have

4:16

them . Sometimes you might wake up , something

4:18

happens , it makes you feel down , or

4:21

something that you tried and put

4:23

in a lot of efforts for doesn't

4:25

turn out to be the way that you wanted

4:27

it , and then you feel sad about

4:30

it . You know that's okay . Sometimes

4:32

you might even feel angry about something because

4:35

you think that you

4:37

have received a treatment that was unfair , and

4:40

that is okay too . Actually , I

4:42

read somewhere that says that anger is

4:44

the emotion that loves you the most , because

4:47

anger arises

4:50

when you

4:53

feel like something has

4:55

been unfair towards you . It's

4:58

just a matter of it's

5:01

just about how we handle

5:03

it . Let's say I am sad about something

5:05

. How do I handle it ? I

5:08

don't have to beat myself off over it . Oh , my

5:10

god , I'm so sad . I'm so sad . No

5:12

, it's okay , I understand

5:14

myself . Give yourself that compassion

5:17

, that it's normal . It's normal

5:19

and it's human to feel sad about this

5:21

topic and give yourself some time

5:23

, maybe to think about it , maybe

5:25

to feel it still . Go out , take

5:27

a walk , don't pressure yourself

5:29

, don't try to be in denial about

5:31

what you're feeling and hopefully

5:34

the next day or the next days you'll

5:36

feel better . Same goes for anger

5:38

. You feel angry that something has been unfair

5:40

to you . Think about about it . Okay , this

5:42

is unfair to me . What can I

5:44

do about it ? Is it out

5:47

of my control or can I do something about

5:49

it ? If it's out of my control , if

5:51

it's someone else's opinion , if it's

5:53

someone else's behavior

5:56

which I cannot control I cannot change

5:58

people . I cannot tell them what to say or what

6:01

to do then I simply let it go

6:03

. It's okay that I feel angry about it

6:05

, but I do not want to waste my

6:07

emotions about it . I let it go

6:09

and I wait until I feel better . And

6:13

if you're happy , also don't try to

6:16

fight it . It might sound unusual

6:18

, but that's the real thing , especially

6:21

for people who might

6:23

have a lot of sympathy . For

6:26

example , you know that a friend is

6:28

going through something , or you

6:31

feel for the world , for

6:34

victims in

6:36

other countries , for

6:39

the wars that happen . You feel bad

6:41

for people who are

6:43

in the middle of this war

6:45

without choosing to be there . And

6:48

then you're eating something

6:50

delicious

6:53

food and you feel bad about it , like

6:55

why my life should be like this and

6:57

their life should be like that . I understand

7:00

that . I feel that also , but

7:02

the thing is we don't have

7:04

to feel sad . We don't have

7:07

to punish ourselves . If

7:10

we really want to make a difference , there are ways . You

7:13

can do your own research on how to

7:15

do , how to raise awareness

7:17

, how to donate or whatever

7:20

you can do in your power . Even if

7:22

it's not that big , even if you don't have

7:24

the means to make that big of

7:26

a difference , just make a small

7:28

difference in the world around you

7:30

, with your family , with your neighborhood

7:32

. Be the community . We can always

7:35

make that positive change and

7:37

allow us to feel happy about that meal

7:39

, about that hangout , about

7:41

that bonding with the people that

7:43

we love , at the same time trying

7:46

to do something to make the world a

7:48

better place . So , again

7:50

going back towards

7:53

the topic of this podcast

7:56

, or the name of this podcast

7:58

, between Heart and Brain , we want

8:00

to find a safe

8:03

place between heart

8:05

and our brain . If your heart

8:07

feels something , your brain can

8:09

understand it and

8:12

not allow these two to go against

8:14

each other . For example , I'm

8:16

feeling something , I'm feeling

8:18

sad about something , and my brain is punishing

8:21

me for feeling bad about it . You should not

8:23

. You should be stronger . You should know better . No , it's okay . You should not . You should

8:25

be stronger . You should know better . No , it's okay , it's

8:27

human . It's human to feel sad

8:29

. Wipe your tears off and

8:31

stand up once you're ready

8:33

and walk stronger . I think

8:36

what's important is that we don't

8:38

stay in one feeling

8:40

for too long . Maybe that's when

8:43

we have to think

8:45

twice if we actually do

8:47

need to seek professional help

8:49

. For example , if a person

8:52

finds it

8:54

hard to have any motivation

8:56

to get out of the bed and that has

8:58

been going on for a month

9:00

, for six weeks , that

9:03

maybe could be a sign of depression

9:05

, could be a sign of boredom

9:08

. So maybe that's time that

9:10

we can seek help from the

9:13

people that we trust or from a professional

9:15

to know if we need to do

9:17

something about this or not . Or

9:20

I mean , it's nice

9:23

to be happy all the time , but

9:25

at the same time we have to be considered

9:27

people . So if we always

9:29

prioritize our happiness all

9:31

the time over anything and anyone

9:34

, in any situation , for

9:37

sure that's gonna turn us

9:39

to make

9:42

us to turn out to be a

9:44

selfish person . I

9:46

cannot prioritize my happiness all

9:48

the time . Let me give a very

9:50

, very simple

9:52

example . I

9:55

come home from a yoga class . My

9:58

body is tired . I want

10:00

to rest . It's sometime

10:02

around noon or afternoon . My

10:05

dog is energetic . For

10:07

me to prioritize my happiness , I have to

10:09

lay down or eat a meal

10:11

, watch something . But

10:18

I realized that you know , I have this

10:20

responsibility to take care of my dog . I chose to have her at my home

10:22

, so it's my responsibility to step outside

10:24

and see her happiness

10:27

. Eventually , her happiness makes me happy

10:29

. So here , this selflessness

10:31

, this willingness to understand

10:34

another person , another creature

10:36

, comes

10:38

first before my I

10:41

don't have a better choice of word , but

10:43

let's call it my selfish happiness

10:45

. Have

10:49

a better choice of word , but let's call it my selfish happiness . Let us

10:51

remember that we don't have control over the daily events a lot

10:54

of times . So it's important

10:56

for us to always distinguish

10:58

between things we can control

11:00

and things that we cannot control

11:02

. Things that we can control , let

11:05

us do something about them , let

11:07

us think about it , make a wise

11:09

decision and do something about

11:11

it . And things that we cannot control

11:13

. Let us let them go and

11:16

realize that we have that self-compassion

11:19

for ourselves and it's okay to

11:21

feel like that . A lot of times

11:23

also , hormonal changes

11:26

can make us feel a certain

11:28

way , so that's part

11:30

of being a human . That

11:33

is why this concept of perfect

11:36

happiness is far from reality

11:38

. This perfectionism can make

11:40

us long for something that doesn't

11:42

actually exist in the world . We

11:44

have to practice

11:46

validating our own feelings

11:49

. Sometimes we expect validation

11:52

from other people when we

11:55

ourselves fail to validate our

11:57

emotions . We

12:00

have to allow ourselves to feel sad

12:02

, feel angry or upset

12:05

without any judgment . Suppressing

12:08

negative emotions can

12:11

actually cause greater

12:13

stress and it can cause

12:16

emotional build-up . Something

12:18

that could be addressed previously

12:20

and with more control but

12:23

hasn't been addressed like that can

12:26

become the cause

12:28

of a blow-up

12:30

. A lot of times I used

12:33

to be in denial

12:35

of my emotions , especially

12:38

in my early 20s

12:40

, and

12:53

if I could say this to my younger self , I say to her that it's okay , feel your emotions

12:55

. Allow yourself to feel your emotions , give yourself time to understand

12:57

it and then

12:59

see where you can find

13:02

a place between

13:05

what you feel in your heart and

13:08

what sounds rational

13:10

in your head . Sometimes

13:12

we feel off about

13:15

something , but then we try to tell ourselves

13:17

it's okay , it's okay , just let it go . Just

13:19

, you know , don't think

13:21

about it , just take it lightly

13:24

. It's okay to take things

13:26

lightly or take life less seriously

13:28

. It actually does lead to happiness . But

13:30

sometimes the feelings that we have , especially

13:33

towards someone around us

13:35

or towards a boundary , I don't

13:37

think we should neglect them . We should

13:39

allow us to feel them

13:41

. Give yourself enough time to

13:44

understand why you're feeling that way . Feel

13:46

them . Give yourself enough time to understand why

13:48

you're feeling that way . Sometimes

13:51

it just could be a past experience that's coming back to you . It doesn't

13:54

have anything to do with what the person in front of

13:56

you did . It's just your defense

13:58

mechanism . You're reliving

14:00

a memory and you're being

14:02

scared that it might happen to you , and

14:09

you're being scared that it might happen to you , or sometimes it's just something in your core

14:11

, a value that you really have and have had

14:13

and you feel that you will always have for the rest

14:15

of your life . So if that's the case , I don't

14:17

think we should dismiss

14:19

our feelings and

14:23

remember that it takes time to understand

14:26

the feelings . Sometimes for some people

14:28

it comes easier . Those people who

14:30

basically are more in

14:33

tune with their feelings . They understand

14:35

themselves better , either

14:37

since they were young or maybe

14:39

they have put in a lot of effort to get

14:41

to this place , reading

14:44

a lot of books , listening to

14:46

self-help podcasts

14:48

like this or getting

14:50

advice from people who have more

14:52

experience in life . Journaling

14:56

, as I discussed before , writing

14:58

things down , it allows yourself to

15:00

learn yourself more so you can easily

15:02

understand . This is what I'm feeling , and usually

15:04

when I feel like this , I

15:06

tend to do something that I regret

15:09

. So it's better for me to be quiet

15:11

, or I tend to bottle it

15:13

up and then just get

15:16

disconnected from the outside world

15:18

and , you know , not

15:20

show myself out there . So you

15:22

know what is your potential

15:25

, what is your habit and

15:28

if that's something that is suiting

15:30

you , that is , for your benefit

15:33

or not , and if not , what are

15:35

the things that you can do about it

15:37

, step by step , to make

15:39

yourself feel better . To first , validate

15:41

your feeling . The second , do

15:44

something that's for

15:46

the best version of yourself , giving

15:49

yourself the love that you should receive

15:51

from yourself . There are a few

15:53

tips that I would like

15:56

to give you when it

15:58

comes to navigating changing

16:01

moods or

16:03

if you're uncomfortable with a certain

16:05

mood . I

16:07

think I have said this before , I'm sure

16:09

I've

16:13

said this before , but basically , mindfulness and awareness . If you have

16:15

no idea what it means , I suggest

16:17

take a yoga class

16:19

. Take a yoga class and

16:22

just experience how

16:24

it feels to move , mindfully

16:27

to move

16:29

, and be aware

16:32

of your breathing and

16:34

your body , what you're capable

16:37

of doing and what are the

16:39

limits of your body . You

16:43

can also practice deep

16:46

breathing to

16:48

understand how you actually

16:50

feel . There was this one time

16:53

that I was

16:55

not feeling that great . I

16:57

was actually feeling really

16:59

stressed and

17:01

I knew that this

17:04

incident caused me to be stressed

17:06

. But I didn't understand why

17:08

this intense , because , logically

17:11

, it didn't sound

17:13

right to me or it didn't feel right

17:15

that I am getting this

17:18

stress over something like this . I

17:20

didn't want to invalidate my feeling . I

17:23

acknowledge that , yeah

17:25

, it's a stressful situation . It's

17:27

about work , a

17:29

personal work or a personal project

17:32

, but it shouldn't have I feel like it

17:34

shouldn't have affected me that much . So

17:36

what I did ? I found a

17:38

quiet space alone

17:41

and I sat

17:43

there , actually on my bed

17:45

, for about 35 minutes

17:47

and I just thought

17:49

. I just thought I let

17:52

the thoughts come . We

17:55

are not in control of all the thoughts that come

17:57

to our mind . I'm

17:59

not sure if you know that , but that's really

18:01

something Me . When I

18:03

learned about it myself , I was kind

18:06

of mind-blown that we are not really in

18:08

control of our thoughts and we are not our

18:10

thoughts . But that's really a thing . So

18:12

I just let the thoughts come and

18:14

realize which one of them actually does

18:16

make sense , because sometimes

18:19

we have this negative voice inside

18:21

us , especially if you're an overthinker

18:23

that usually wants to prepare

18:25

you for the worst case scenario . But

18:28

a lot of times , out of 10 , maybe

18:30

just one of them happens

18:33

, or maybe it doesn't . Maybe out of

18:35

50 things that you

18:37

worried about , one of them is going

18:39

to happen and actually , if it

18:41

happens , since you've been thinking about it , you

18:43

probably are going to be ready . So

18:46

it's not as grave as you thought . So

18:55

having this mindfulness sitting somewhere , first of all , managing your breathing

18:57

, making sure that you're not breathing interrupted and you're not breathing

18:59

too fast or shallow . Just

19:02

breathe like you're feeling calm and just

19:05

allow yourself to think , allow

19:13

yourself to realize . Another

19:20

tip that I have for those who regularly feel changing moods Basically they call

19:22

themselves moody people . Maybe

19:25

you just need an

19:27

outlet . You know , sometimes

19:29

when we don't have that outlet , we

19:32

tend to get confused

19:35

about how we feel , how we respond

19:37

. So find that outlet for

19:39

you . It

19:41

could be again , writing something down

19:43

so you understand you're feeling better and

19:46

you realize that it's something that

19:48

probably you can manage or cope with

19:50

. Or you can have

19:53

a trusted friend to

19:55

talk to . That could be your outlet

19:57

. Or you can

19:59

do creative things

20:02

. You can create something that could

20:04

be your outlet . You

20:07

can create something with your hand or if

20:09

that makes you feel better . Or

20:11

you can start exercising

20:13

. You know , making your body

20:15

move , making your body sweat

20:18

, can actually help a lot with feeling

20:20

of frustration , with feeling of

20:22

anger . And also

20:24

you can spend

20:27

time on finding

20:29

routines for yourself

20:32

or becoming

20:34

flexible . If you already

20:36

had a routine and you're

20:38

very much religious about it

20:40

, you can become flexible . If

20:42

you don't have a routine , try to create , create routines

20:44

. So , even though you feel moody

20:47

, even though you don't feel your

20:49

best at times , at least you know at this

20:51

hour or on this day . This

20:53

is what I usually do , and routines

20:55

do actually make us feel better because

20:59

they're familiar . They make

21:01

us feel calmer , they

21:03

make us feel like we are safe and you

21:05

know things are okay . They

21:12

make us feel like we are safe and you know things are okay . And if your routine

21:14

or what you do is causing you a lot of stress , try to see if you can become a

21:16

little bit more flexible about it . For example

21:18

, you have this habit of working

21:21

out every day and

21:23

you also have a lot of

21:25

things on your plate . Or there

21:27

are days that you're just mentally tired

21:29

, but because of the commitment

21:32

that you have to the well-being of

21:34

your body , you're

21:36

sacrificing the well-being of your mind

21:38

. So that's when you want to

21:40

become more flexible about your routine

21:43

. You know I discussed

21:46

this in another episode about confidence

21:48

before that . Sometimes

21:51

we might even doubt ourselves , and

21:54

a lot of times when people

21:57

doubt themselves , they already get so

21:59

freaked out about it that they just decide

22:01

to not take an action

22:03

and not to take a step forward

22:05

and not to risk something . Because

22:08

, again , we have this incorrect

22:10

perfectionist mindset that

22:13

we should always be confident and

22:15

we should always feel great to do something

22:17

. Actually , that's

22:19

not correct . Confidence is

22:21

when you know that it's scary

22:25

Again , as I said before , like

22:27

giving a public speech , but

22:29

like you have to give it . Or trying

22:32

out something new , a new hobby , putting

22:34

yourself in a new environment , in

22:36

a new community . You know that it's

22:38

something that makes you feel uncomfortable , but

22:40

it's okay . You're gonna go

22:42

there and try it and you also

22:44

understand that if it doesn't

22:47

turn out to be how you

22:49

wish for it to be

22:51

, it's okay . You understand that and you

22:53

will forgive yourself . That's what

22:55

I call confidence

22:57

. That's

22:59

what I call being

23:01

your own support system

23:04

. To recap , I

23:06

want to mention

23:08

that we are all humans

23:10

and it's okay to feel

23:12

feelings . It's okay to be happy

23:15

, sad , angry , anxious , upset

23:18

, frustrated , tired . It's

23:20

all right . Give yourself some time to

23:22

get over it . But we don't have to

23:24

stay in a certain emotion

23:27

for a long time , a long , long

23:29

time . If you find

23:32

yourself feeling anxious , feeling

23:34

sad , feeling unmotivated

23:36

, maybe it's time to reach out to trusted

23:39

people . Or , if that

23:41

doesn't work for you and

23:43

you feel like it's affecting other areas

23:45

of your life , maybe reach out to a

23:47

professional about it , love

23:50

yourself , understand yourself

23:52

, be sympathetic towards yourself

23:55

and probably find outlets

23:57

or routines that allow you

24:00

to be more in control of

24:02

your life , more in control of your emotions

24:04

, for a more stable mind

24:06

. Thanks for listening to me . Thank

24:09

you , dear listeners , for joining

24:12

me on this empowering journey

24:14

today . As we conclude this episode

24:16

, remember that your potential

24:18

is boundless and your journey

24:20

to a more fulfilling life has

24:22

only just begun . I'm

24:25

here to support you every step of the way

24:27

, so keep coming back for more

24:29

insights and inspiration . And

24:31

remember this podcast is

24:34

proudly independent , created

24:36

with a passion for making a positive

24:38

impact . Your

24:42

support means the world to me , so please consider subscribing

24:44

and sharing it with the people you know . Together

24:47

, we can inspire more individuals

24:50

on their journey to empowerment

24:52

and a better life . See you soon

24:54

for more life-changing discussions

24:56

. Until we meet again , stay

24:58

empowered .