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4:25

Content warnings can be found in

4:27

the description. For

4:32

a plumber like no other but

4:34

you die, it's much better than the

4:36

other ones you tried. So if

4:38

you need a great encore, do some

4:40

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4:42

been coming to you called this but

4:44

you're down. Good evening. I am

4:47

Blake Lively of Lively Plumbing. Many of

4:49

you know me. For many years

4:51

I have fixed toilets and sinks and

4:53

pipes in this wonderful town of

4:55

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4:57

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5:00

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5:02

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5:06

my last job. Just listen to

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5:10

my dog! Stop asking for testimonials!

5:12

Kelsey here to say that Blake is

5:15

the best plumber in Pecheeville. He's

5:17

fast and professional and discreet. Whatever you

5:19

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5:21

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5:23

between you, him and the God

5:25

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5:27

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5:30

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your car just puts you down. Well,

6:04

I'm the Dungeons

6:07

and Daddies.

6:12

Well, the Dungeons and Daddies Not a

6:15

BDSM podcast. You fucking idiot. You moron. it's a

6:17

It's a fucking... That was mean. No, you're right.

6:19

Hey, Hey, for listening. Thanks so

6:21

much for listening, everyone. just Hey, we just want

6:23

to say sorry. Do you think us, do

6:25

you think us saying we're not BDSM podcasts

6:27

is like way Pringles can't their potato

6:30

chips, like, like, BDSM came out and said,

6:32

hey, you guys can't say it. it.

6:34

We a BDSM flavored product. Yes.

6:36

This is a Dungeons Dragons podcast Psych

6:38

season. We're playing Call Cthulhu. Welcome.

6:40

Did the government decide that? decide

6:42

that? That we're playing Call Cthulhu? No, the Pringles thing.

6:44

Like, who said they couldn't? That's true.

6:46

I'm just saying. I'm just I don't think

6:48

they ever felt boxed in by that need.

6:50

in by that need. Pringles isn't into labels, dude.

6:53

Yeah. They're the They're This

6:55

is This is the Peachyville Horror, a

6:57

a Call of Cthulhu actual play

6:59

comedy podcast about four everyday schmoes finally

7:02

the forces of darkness in suburban 1950s

7:04

America. America. My

7:06

name is Freddie Wong,

7:08

and I play deep thinking plumber

7:10

Blake Lively. Now some

7:12

degree of controversy,

7:15

let's say, around Blake

7:17

Lively's accent, which I'm settling into

7:19

like good blankets. blankets. real

7:21

accents. Like Like real

7:24

accents, I'm settling into it.

7:26

Blake traces a little bit of

7:28

Nordic roots, which is where his

7:30

you know, sort of of Midwestern-y sort of

7:32

thing comes from. Ah, yes. Ah,

7:34

yes. Yeah. Which is

7:36

also is also why his favorite food is

7:39

potatoes. You we already said potatoes. your

7:41

light Those are two facts ago. Yeah.

7:44

We're recycling facts. You want these characters on

7:46

three episodes. I favorite favorite drink? What's

7:48

that super stinky fish

7:51

what I'm talking about? The other one's the

7:53

Stromalah. What is it? The fish

7:55

is super gross you You

7:57

them little chunks and it's

7:59

the only one. weird skin and leaving people it

8:01

Sewer strumming. I don't think it's up and running. strumming. and

8:03

you know what they say once

8:05

you pop the fun Don't stop Blake

8:08

Lively loves back getting

8:11

big old potato, and then

8:13

instead of bacon bits sewer

8:16

strumming bits. Blake Lively's single.

8:19

There we go There we go

8:21

we go. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Now

8:23

it's all locked into place for Blake. Hey everybody, my

8:26

name is Matthew Arnold. I play Kelsey

8:28

Grammer, Peachyville's happiest, snappiest school mom. you know what

8:30

she always says learning is

8:32

a lot like love They both with

8:34

the letter L, L And if I

8:36

don't have it I feel

8:39

dead inside Whoa. Whoa. Wow.

8:41

She always says that? All the time. She always

8:43

says. Dang dude. She's gotta have it. Learning that

8:45

is. We're learning. a little known

8:48

fact about Kelsey I thought I

8:50

continue kind exploring her

8:52

relationship with no That's not true. It's not

8:54

exploring the relationship with Blake. She doesn't care about Blake.

8:56

Way. stick in the plumbing the sort

8:58

of category Just stick it in

9:00

the plumbing, huh? Yeah. That's not what

9:02

you said last night. I wanna get get to the adventure. I

9:04

to fight I wanna kill Cthulhu, which I believe is our

9:06

ultimate plan. I wanna stick it in the plumbing too. I wanna get

9:09

these three keys so can kill Cthulhu, okay, so

9:11

I don't think It's fine. fine. It's fine. It's

9:13

fine. Simple Just them cook. Kelsey Spends as little

9:15

time in the bathroom as possible.

9:17

She's the opposite of that shit It's like

9:19

as like, as little like you would

9:21

think she'd be a reader in

9:23

there Like like no, she wants to be at her

9:25

like she gets in and out Like dude,

9:27

she waits like she doesn't go in

9:29

until she knows it's ready to go Like

9:31

all the way, like bam. Like that's how she wants to

9:33

go. She doesn't want to work on

9:35

it in there Like she's got much to

9:38

do outside. So

9:40

she, she wails to fucking fire

9:42

Like break, like a lot of work out. And

9:46

she fucking goes, gets it done, and gets out.

9:49

Just get it on the surface. So she's

9:51

like, so, so

9:53

she's never had there for more than 30 seconds, you know,

9:55

like you know, like something's wrong.

9:57

Like she's sick Like something's wrong. She's in out.

9:59

It sounds like she's broken the

10:01

seat from just like impact of leaping onto it

10:04

it Dude, Dude

10:06

did she get a hand wash like this amount to a gymnast

10:08

the pole vault or ever like she a hand

10:11

wash in there about 30 seconds supposed

10:13

to a block. Yeah, she was her hands. Yeah but I

10:15

mean her Her seat is

10:17

enough that she watches her hands she's on

10:19

the toilet The

10:22

boys you washing hands after she's out a whole

10:24

system flushes in with her elbow

10:27

And then her hands hands already

10:29

washed Kelsey

10:32

she's ready to go well, can you

10:34

please please make sure at some point that

10:36

we find a bathroom that she's got the bathroom like times

10:38

on the show just never knows she goes so

10:40

fast. She's just be here back Blake is

10:42

so impressed by that Hi, I'm Anthony. I'm playing Francis

10:44

Farnsworth with a gun and my

10:47

peachy is Francis is

10:49

the opposite. He loves to spend The

10:52

bathroom he sits there he takes the

10:54

dump he does the courtesy flush to

10:56

get rid of the dump but then

10:58

he'll stay there for just hours reading

11:00

his favorite serial comic books and and

11:02

Just thinking about things Courtesy

11:05

dump if you're in there is Like

11:08

Like if you're at school it's called be kind to

11:10

yourself man. Yes true if you're in you're you're public place. yeah.

11:12

Yeah I love yourself. You don't need to smell

11:14

that. Yeah, but now I have a question about

11:17

the courtesy flush Yeah, I heard courtesy dump and

11:19

I don't think courtesy

11:22

sorry Like not a thing no, it's

11:24

definitely a thing. It's just not

11:26

a thing for Francis also not

11:28

very courteous a question the courtesy flush doesn't

11:30

that also give like a false

11:32

sense of like hey I'm almost done

11:34

in here Who cares? courtesy

11:38

I I always thought the courtesy was the toilet like You

11:40

know like I still like like you can handle so much

11:42

there's some risk clogging There's gonna be more to

11:44

go like let me me just get you let

11:46

me just like buddy Sometimes been so bad

11:48

that I have to like pinch halfway

11:50

through be like I gotta get rid

11:52

of this Sometimes

11:56

complete objective is good to

11:59

set up like smaller goals like

12:01

Yeah, yeah, exactly the Kanban method No,

12:04

my courtesy flush like, and

12:06

now you see me magic

12:08

trick. It's like, you didn't

12:10

smell anything I the

12:12

courtesy flush was like you What?

12:14

Like if you're... Like

12:17

you're other people that can hear, you flush and

12:19

then you try to do like the noisy

12:21

part. No! Oh,

12:24

yeah, No! that. Oh, Do get what I mean? you I

12:26

can't believe we all have some radically different ideas

12:28

of what a courtesy flush is. of shame flush,

12:30

that's what you're That's shame secret is, if you don't want

12:32

to Also, make noise, just put down some toilet

12:34

paper in the water No, that's not the part that's

12:36

making the impact. That's No, part not the part that's

12:38

making the that's No, making the not impact. part That's impact. that's

12:40

Wait, Wait, what's making the noise? the impact. that's making butt!

12:43

It's your butt! what's butt! the It's your butt, mate. the

12:45

cheeks, dog! don't fart when your You don't fart! What

12:49

Is that not usual I I literally have

12:51

don't think I've ever farted when I Can't

13:00

find my I think you're literally

13:02

just make into the CIA right

13:04

now You're

13:08

in the fucking North Atlantic moving

13:10

underneath radar. No one can detect you,

13:12

dude. You're straight up sodar fucking

13:14

invincible in the bathroom. Are you kidding

13:16

me? Murdoch can't find my ass.

13:18

Are you kidding me, bro? think you're

13:20

literally just making it into the

13:22

CIA right now. I think they just take

13:24

that can be silent. Oh my dude. Could

13:26

you imagine if Anthony was a sniper

13:28

the The amount of kills he

13:30

would have? He's so comfortable in the wilderness. He

13:32

was like, where is he? we haven't heard him. He's an alpha

13:34

sector but he's been there for 20 days. Only hear me

13:36

like, he never makes a... sound never makes

13:38

a sound. He does courtesy flush though. He Just

13:41

kind of give him away. Oh Oh my god,

13:43

Anthony. What's your fact again? That's the hardest.

13:45

No, it doesn't matter. That's the hardest

13:47

fact I've ever heard. doesn't matter how

13:49

long So long as his butt cleans itself.

13:51

Oh, God. What? All right, no, we

13:53

following that up best. My

13:56

name is Beth May, and

13:58

I play Trudy trout a a... a robot,

14:00

robot, doting wife, homemaker, no, a

14:02

robot, homemaker, mother

14:05

of one beautiful child. Oh, are you reading

14:07

reading this script? You're looking at your monitor. Yeah,

14:09

I read it off a every time. Oh, really?

14:11

really? hard time a hard time. it, yeah. It's how

14:13

you lose elections. Sorry.

14:16

Sorry. Anyways,

14:18

Anyways, fun robot facts

14:20

about fruity. about

14:22

Trinity. It's gonna be hard

14:25

to top. My fucking silent but here.

14:27

deadly gonna be here. No, Is it's not.

14:29

best fact last time? No, it's not good. It's doesn't go

14:31

more than three days without washing

14:33

her hair because of the oil buildup.

14:35

So there. With like oil, like machine

14:38

oil. Like oil oil? Who knows? Like,

14:40

but it's a a pun, right? Like oil. oil?

14:43

Well, yeah, but you know, it's like,

14:45

you know, there's, yes. Yeah.

14:49

Okay. Okay. You're not supposed to

14:51

wash your hair that often, right? Well,

14:53

it depends on your hair. That's

14:55

fair. Yeah. Her hair's oily. Her hair's

14:58

oily. Her hair's pretty oily. This is a robot, Freddy. Good

15:00

job. about the robot the robot be lubricating

15:02

hair? Interesting. Okay. Okay. Hi,

15:04

I'm Will Campos. I am your daddy.

15:06

Oh, master. Hey, daddy. And my PG this

15:08

week is that that if the

15:10

whole earth history was condensed

15:13

to a 24 hour period,

15:15

human beings would have been

15:17

around for three seconds. And

15:20

if all of human history. wrecked it, it.

15:22

love it. If all of

15:24

human history was 24 hours, it have only

15:26

been 14 minutes since the birth of

15:28

our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Wow.

15:31

Well, it makes you think.

15:33

It everything in perspective. puts everything

15:35

in perspective. I believe we

15:37

ruined our beautiful, gorgeous earth, our

15:39

home planet in three seconds. It's

15:41

Scott, be some kind of record. Do

15:44

you guys guys want to to Cthulhu. Fight,

15:46

Fight. fight, Kill Cthulhu. Kill

15:49

Kill. Kill. Kill.

15:51

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. have

15:54

to start off with a little

15:56

bit of housekeeping. Oh God. I

15:58

remembered that I forgot. to the

16:00

door. Oh no, the housekeeping coming in to

16:02

make you remember that you guys

16:04

got some items You got

16:06

stuff, and I just you haven't been

16:08

using the stuff that I've been giving

16:10

you. When did get stuff? So I just want to remind

16:12

you of some of stuff that you

16:15

guys have. right Let me So Beth, Mothman gave

16:17

a fun deck of cards And if

16:19

you draw a card you have to make sanity

16:21

roll and you get a little cryptic hint

16:23

about what the future may be hold. Oh, for some reason,

16:25

we can only use that once, we can use it

16:27

more Whole deck of of cards man can use it 52

16:29

times. Francis, you of course

16:31

have a rifle. However, you also,

16:33

for completing the riddles and

16:35

quizzes of my puzzle dungeon in

16:37

the Project Heartland main building,

16:39

received a Meego gun. which

16:41

the thing that was zapping you guys when

16:44

you failed quiz answer. So you've got this

16:46

weird, weird, like bulbous rock that zap people.

16:48

And we hid behind the door, the

16:50

table jail for that. that. Previously on Peachy the

16:52

Horror. Beth, you have another little treat,

16:54

which is that you got a cool Geiger counter

16:56

detects when spooky paranormal stuff is

16:59

happening. I think I think beeping like

17:01

crazy. Yeah, we're sitting there being like,

17:03

who forgot to change the batteries?

17:05

Who What do I have? What does Kelsey

17:07

have? have? got a book of

17:09

magic spells. That was her item got for

17:11

escaping the Project Heartland. I was like, I like books. I want it.

17:14

a whole bunch of fun rules You

17:16

can learn to read spells and learn

17:18

how to do spells you got that going?

17:20

Oh, I have. you have a cat Yeah. yeah,

17:22

No, mine more questions. like do you have

17:24

a list of the spells What will do is

17:26

at some point if you get a couple

17:29

of weeks to sit down and Really

17:31

familiarize yourself with this book Or

17:33

a couple days, or whatever just you get some Kelsey time

17:35

alone with book You do some sanity rolls, then

17:37

you get to pick a certain number of

17:39

spells based on how well you do You I'll

17:41

just let you go hog wild with spells from back to

17:43

book Whoa. But every time I want to learn a a

17:46

spell, I have to do a a sanity roll? like study

17:48

the book Okay, and depending on like how

17:50

long you study the book for and under conditions like

17:52

you make a a sanity roll. and then

17:54

you also get like tasty treats from that. So

17:56

I just want to put that out there. No, that's good Hope you

17:58

all jotted that down. I should been using this. I'm excited

18:00

we last left you guys

18:02

you had narrowly escaped a

18:04

spooky encounter with Trudy's erstwhile spider

18:06

daughter Tiffany where we fought a rex. huh?

18:08

You fought -rex. You overlooking a a lush

18:10

valley a sort of Bronze Age

18:12

civilization in the distance a

18:14

big old stinky swamp had mucked up

18:16

from where Blake Lively dropped his

18:18

kids off at the pool

18:20

By which mean where is his old poop

18:22

pond and a big temple

18:24

a big ziggurat style Temple with

18:26

a statue of a key and

18:28

there was a sort of

18:30

like religious ritual on when you

18:32

were spotted one of these

18:34

tiny figures in The distance I

18:37

do have to perform a

18:39

second bit of housekeeping hair which

18:41

was that I said that

18:43

the looked at you and screamed outlanders

18:45

however, I don't think he would speak

18:47

English So we're gonna is all of

18:49

the NPC until you find a way

18:51

to communicate with them is gonna be peanuts Voice

18:53

he goes I

18:57

Outlanders how far away are we we're pretty

18:59

far right? like I'm so

19:01

bad at measuring distance can run to

19:03

us? It's a two-minute sprint up this Shoot

19:07

as many of them as I can only have

19:09

like 12 bullets or you have 10

19:11

bullets They'll be a line you hear

19:13

a scream go up from the crowd

19:15

of people as the high says this And

19:17

you see them fleeing away from the

19:19

temple this village in the distance

19:22

And then you see ten Armored

19:24

warriors of like burst into action

19:27

three of them Stay behind to

19:29

guard this temple the other seven the

19:31

high priest hop onto strange mounts and start charging up the

19:33

towards you and sort of like

19:35

a phalanx Formation quick question say strange mounts

19:37

like horses. I'll see obviously haven't a

19:40

really good job on her a encyclopedia

19:42

a a lot about ancient civilizations I want to roll

19:44

no I'm just trying to get get sense like anything

19:46

feel weird like this look at this

19:48

like oh my god we're in in times

19:51

or looks at this is like, oh, they

19:53

have like robot instead or something like this

19:55

like this is like does You know,

19:57

we'll be sorry. Oh, I got but my no

19:59

is but my no is 70. Nice.

20:01

70. Nice. Oh, that's All right. Because

20:03

he always passes with a 69. The

20:06

69 not as great as thinks it's

20:08

going to be. What is it? thinks of the idea

20:10

of it, This is like a nice little thing that for

20:12

the real action started. There's

20:15

like a fun little diversion. Little

20:20

activity. Oh, I know what

20:22

your asshole smells like now. That's

20:24

fun. It's like the appetizer. That's like,

20:26

we didn't really need that before the meal. I'm just like

20:29

the bread and olive You You

20:32

don't want to fill up on it it either. All right, Fuck.

20:39

All right. That's good. With your 69. Nice.

20:42

all looks again like if you

20:44

had to classify this in

20:46

sort of civilization epic. seems like

20:48

a sort of of Bronze Age civilization

20:50

you're looking at However, doesn't read as

20:52

any historical culture or that you're familiar

20:54

with. It's not problematic. It's

20:57

completely new and different anything you've seen although

20:59

terms of the technology you would read

21:01

it is about that same OK, but it

21:03

doesn't seem like I can't really clock

21:05

clock. You can't clock it. Yeah. Although

21:07

Francis could it Francis. Yeah, you

21:09

have two guns. I

21:11

do You protect us

21:13

with the two guns. Yeah, I I was so.

21:15

And show them. the power of

21:18

modern technology. Yeah, I I was gonna use

21:20

the the electric I'm really showing the

21:22

power of making things on four. Very good. Out

21:24

of thunder. Yeah, think they scare them. So they coming

21:26

at us. I bellow out. Ah,

21:30

Because they don't speak English. So why I even yell

21:32

at anything at them? Chilling. And then I'm going shoot

21:34

the ground in front of them. with the

21:36

electric gun. So it's like, again, it like a big

21:38

spiky rock with a little electrodes pointing out out

21:40

of it. It's not really for human

21:42

anatomy, it's jury rig so that a a human

21:44

can kind of fire it. You fire

21:46

it at the ground front of them, and

21:49

this pulse of lightning zaps out of this thing

21:51

and hits the ground and just a

21:53

big chunk of dirt flies up in

21:55

front of them. They skid to a

21:57

halt on their mounts, a couple of

21:59

them dive off. You see the high like rear up

22:01

and now that they're a a little closer Freddie you

22:03

were asking about their mounts and they're like they're

22:05

not Horses they've got like six

22:07

legs, but they kind of look like

22:09

horses They look like a sort of

22:11

like if evolution gone a different weird

22:14

way a Six-legged spider horse is kind of

22:16

what you're looking at here And then the center horse

22:18

a sent a horse if you will and

22:20

then you realize these guys get closer. quite

22:22

big as well. They're like big and

22:24

covered in hair They look of Sasquatchy do they

22:26

know about Sasquatches in the Midwest at

22:28

this point how? Long

22:31

has Bigfoot been real

22:35

60s thing Oh the version

22:37

of the story gained popularity in the 1950s 1950s

22:40

the British Explorer David Thompson is sometimes

22:42

credited with the first discovery

22:44

of Bigfoot in 18. No liar Thompson So

22:47

the horse the horses and Carter from

22:50

ours which have six legs. Oh, do they okay?

22:52

They yeah, they look like the only being

22:54

alive Yes,

22:57

you see bigfoots on spider horses in ceremonial

22:59

garb dive off of their mounts and

23:01

sort of like raise their hands in

23:03

the air like whoa whoa Trudy

23:06

Trudy I think they're of new

23:08

technology. I think Trudy's leader Yeah,

23:11

you should be like you be like a to them

23:13

or something Like show them

23:15

it's not problematic. It's not based on any other I

23:18

I mean almost a god to me

23:20

as far as I'm concerned She's like

23:22

a women are goddesses. Yeah. Well. Yes. I

23:24

I will Approach but

23:26

not too closely and then

23:28

I will press the on my neck

23:31

that reveals my robot inner workings

23:33

Okay, oh this will really fit their gourd Yeah,

23:35

you do that as you step

23:37

forward the moment does that by the

23:40

way Kelsey wants to look straight at the

23:42

brain and go Oh, I can't look at

23:44

it without this happening And then she falls

23:46

the ground pretends like start shivering

23:48

Francis doesn't do that I Then

23:51

they'll be scared of trees power. They'll

23:53

think that like it kills them well no then

23:55

think that you lying This not happening

23:57

to them. Oh fine Kelsey just stands I'm

24:03

like, what? Describe

24:05

how you're doing this. What are you trying to do

24:07

very much? the feeling of like hey,

24:10

this out Holy

24:14

shit. I I the move is for

24:16

the rest of us to kneel in deference. I

24:18

kneel in deference. That's a good idea. Yeah, that's what I meant to

24:20

do. I kneel. Just these old phones.

24:22

These first you guys give me

24:24

a performance role for your kneeling and how

24:26

impressed you are I be really

24:29

good at kneeling because I work

24:31

under the sink There

24:33

no performance. Is there not give

24:35

me a a persuade role. My is 10

24:37

and I got a a 94. Okay, so that's

24:39

not good. My persuade is 55 I got 52

24:42

Okay. persuade is is 10 I got Hey, Matt.

24:44

Hey Jesus, I have 10 persuades. Well, I'm not I'm

24:46

not persuasive what do you want some

24:48

people are not persuasive You haven't walked all around and

24:50

you and a guy. I'm stealthy. Beth give

24:52

me a persuasion role I was gonna give

24:54

you advantage for this bit of impressive this

24:56

bit of technology is but based

24:58

on how terrible to you, cohorts did and

25:00

trying to Kneel to you. They're

25:02

kind of throwing off the vibe by

25:05

like not seeming that impressed. So don't

25:07

you just a straight ahead persuade role. I

25:09

a 44 and my persuade

25:12

is 30 Okay, in that

25:14

case, I'm gonna say that

25:16

they turn aggressive once again

25:18

Like for a second. Come on. You shot at.

25:20

shoot the ground again motherfuckers. I could do this all

25:23

day. It's electric. Sort of emboldened. of like, whoa,

25:25

whoa, whoa, like whoa, whoa, whoa. They're

25:27

just freaked out by what's going on.

25:29

They're getting jittery. They're getting panicky And

25:31

one of them is gonna throw a

25:33

spear at you sexist. sexist. They don't

25:35

like to see a woman in power. power.

25:38

They're throwing it me They didn't respect

25:40

Trudy Francis. You shot at them. That's why they

25:42

shot at me. Yeah. well Well, cause

25:44

you're shooting at them. stop talking to me and pay attention

25:46

to the spear coming at you. you if, oh,

25:49

Blake, you said that there was a death trap here.

25:51

said that there was a death

25:53

trap here. Trudy, a focus on

25:55

the spear. It's flying at him. No, he's really

25:57

far away. He's got a couple more seconds. Sorry. Why

26:00

don't it's quite a wind up. He's really going

26:02

to put his whole body into

26:04

this one You can see the

26:06

way he gyrates and twist around like a pocket lift. Oh,

26:08

now He's dragging the foot and

26:10

spinning and torquing Whoa, you better be careful Like

26:12

you should narrate the Olympics if they

26:14

ever put them on the television. Give me

26:17

one sec It looks like he's some time

26:19

before the spirits thrown so are were you saying, Trudy? Yeah,

26:21

what was that? that? He's taking a quick

26:23

break, apparently. Don't worry, we'll be here whenever

26:25

you're ready to throw a spirit us. He's holding

26:27

up his hand, He's going through the air

26:29

in slow motion right now while I look

26:31

up what I need to roll from Trudy, I'm

26:33

sorry for interrupting You sound you had a question

26:35

for Blake there. Yes Yes, you

26:38

had mentioned Yes a trap

26:40

Yeah here you would put

26:42

kind of close to your

26:44

your your excrement And

26:46

was wondering if maybe we could lead

26:48

this group Ah, yes The

26:51

death trap It's very specific. It

26:54

is a line of of Rope across at head height

26:56

You can see that the death trap is

26:58

no longer there, but been - And someone has

27:00

taken it down. What the fuck? Millions

27:03

of years between the time of the dinosaurs

27:05

and what's going on that. the the fuck?

27:07

There's just a trip oh so it's gone now. It's

27:09

gone. And there wasn't a tumble here before

27:11

either, right? No, was talking with the slow

27:13

time thing, remember? okay, yeah. So there's a lot

27:15

of change then. so yeah I don't think a line

27:17

was my much pond still there. if I don't get

27:19

killed by the that's coming at me, I think

27:21

maybe we could try diplomacy I

27:23

feel like I can dodge it though. It's gonna be really slow Yes,

27:26

be careful make sure you're a stretch

27:28

before you and do any physical activity. I believe in

27:30

you Francis. I think you're gonna catch this You

27:33

have two options here. you You options can catch a Hey

27:35

Francis. You you Hey know why than just sitting here

27:37

being worried about this spear coming do a little practice.

27:39

I'm gonna throw some stuff at you. You do a little patch,

27:41

okay? All right, I'm a stick

27:43

at Francis. Yeah. Oh right. this close focus.

27:45

Don't be looking me Okay Imagine

27:49

is going much slower. Yeah, I

27:51

try don't look where the stick is

27:53

but where think the stick is going to be You're

27:55

hard. Yeah ready. I'd me right in the

27:58

face! Oh, Yeah, okay. Let's do it. That's what's

28:00

practice one is for. one. That's what practice is One for two.

28:02

for two. All right. All we go. here we go. And, oh,

28:04

you was go. thought to You I but I throw, but I did, you

28:06

never know what I got. I got it in my face. it in my right.

28:08

right. in your head too. He's throwing a spear throwing a spear at

28:10

you. Does because he's practiced? Because he's No. Absolutely

28:13

not. He's not. a throw

28:15

roll, which you can to make a throw by which

28:17

you can counter by dodging if you would

28:19

like to, or you can just, I don't

28:21

know, get hit you want. Just like a pretty clear clear

28:24

answer there. So give me a dodge roll

28:26

to oppose his throw. a I got a Ooh. Oh,

28:29

wow. wow. Oh Oh my God. It's like

28:31

the only cool part of Northman or

28:33

whatever that movie that we saw. that we ate.

28:35

catches he catches it back. and throws it

28:37

back. Ooh. Okay. So Okay, so out of

28:39

of what? Five out of Five out of 30.

28:41

a That's a super duper success, right? success. Describe

28:44

the the to me. to me. Paint me the picture. So I see

28:46

this thing coming at me as I have for the last 20

28:48

minutes. I see the

28:50

arc, almost as if it's visible. almost as like a

28:52

a grenade reticle in a video game where you you

28:54

see where the grenade's going to land. And

28:56

I gingerly stepped where it's about to get at

28:59

the parabola. And as it comes down, I I

29:01

open my mouth. The apex. I open my

29:03

mouth and it comes down. go from the side

29:05

and I just bite down a real hard

29:07

before it hits the ground and it just

29:09

shaves off like a good centimeter of my

29:11

teeth. And then keeps going and then hits

29:13

going and then hits the ground. Oh, no.

29:16

no. But my teeth are still technically

29:18

on the very end of it. So I

29:20

kind of caught it in my teeth

29:22

technically. Mm-hmm. Okay, so now have one

29:24

spear. We'll start a combat round. Blake,

29:26

why don't you start us off? start us off?

29:28

going to grab the spear and use

29:30

it as my weapon. Okay. And then

29:32

I want to do the thing where

29:34

I like sweep spear in a big wide arc

29:36

to keep them back. ugh. They're pretty

29:38

far away from us They're right? They're still

29:40

charging up this hill. We'll give them

29:42

one good full round to get up to you

29:44

well, I'm I'm to hold my turn and let

29:46

the guy with the electric gun take another

29:48

shot. Francis, this is your cue. Francis, it is now

29:50

your turn. All right. us We call that

29:52

a surprise round. You, by failing the persuade role, have triggered

29:54

fight or flight and they've decided to

29:56

fight you. I to be nice. You all

29:58

saw it, right? I tried to do the diplomacy.

30:00

Yes, You have done enough diplomacy. in the

30:02

eyes of the International Court. this is justified! Yes.

30:04

I Oh shit. I Ooh, shit! Got

30:07

got a Oh boy a 9 of 38! Oh boy a

30:09

nine out of 38. That's a

30:11

super not a super duper unfortunately, okay, but I'm gonna

30:13

shoot the first guy That's coming

30:15

up right in square in the chest, bro. Do you

30:17

think it chains? You You know you hit

30:19

one in the next year Yeah people like district

30:21

9 where it's like well that gun some crazier

30:23

shit thought it would I love in the movies guns

30:25

do I Men

30:28

in black was one of the best movie Noisy

30:30

Cricket dude terms of guys that did crazy

30:32

shit man black on top, dude I

30:35

walked into that movie this will be

30:37

a movie about aliens little that I know is about

30:39

Every time I Every time I see a gun come out a

30:41

movie I I movie. leaned back and go show me

30:44

what you got Only

30:48

Only two movies ever satisfied me men and

30:50

black and element So I

30:52

have the rules for the electric up.

30:54

It's a little more complicated I thought Jury

30:56

rig for human the weapon fires Uncertainly roll 1d6

30:58

attempting to fire The weapon only fires on a

31:01

result of one to two and then

31:03

we'll give you your firearm skill for

31:05

it So it looks like that first one

31:07

was free and then there's but it does a bunch of

31:09

one. you want one? Okay, a a of bluish

31:11

fly out of this thing Is this

31:13

the guy that threw the spirit you is that you're

31:15

aiming it? Yeah, okay, so he rolled

31:17

a 69, name so you nailed it. Nice,

31:19

this is a nice episode. Bro, episode. a

31:21

two episode two rolls. roll 1d10 for your

31:23

damage. I a a nine Okay,

31:26

so it takes nine damage. Does

31:28

his head explode? No, but he is not

31:30

looking good at all. It's got a scorched head.

31:32

After I shoot him in the chest, I

31:34

want to put out my hands in a placating

31:36

gesture, like calm down calm down like

31:38

waving them down like stop. Well, I

31:40

think that's offensive you shouldn't

31:42

tell people to calm down Calm down,

31:44

so needs to make a Constitution

31:46

roller. He's gonna fall unconscious. He

31:49

passes his Constitution roll darn So he stays

31:51

upright and just reels from this damage.

31:53

Give me another persuade with advantage to

31:55

try to calm him down. Oh cool.

31:58

Nope Kelsey is your turn. The temple has

32:00

like a big structure of the

32:03

key on top of it.

32:05

Yes, and it's green key. Yes Kelsey

32:07

is going to pull out

32:09

her notepad. She always used to write for all of

32:11

her encyclopedia knowledge. Her accoutrement, yes.

32:13

She is going to wave her hands to me like,

32:15

wait We don't want to fight.

32:18

We just need and I'm going to

32:20

take out my pen. going to draw a

32:22

picture of the key. Mm -hmm I'm

32:24

like drawing the key and I point

32:26

at it and point at the and point at

32:28

brain and point at me, point at the book, and point

32:30

the temple, and point at Trudy's brain. then point at the guy,

32:32

do like an X sign, like, we don't want to shoot.

32:36

Key, that weird brain

32:38

robot, no shoot. We're OK. I

32:40

like this. Give me a

32:42

persuade roll. 30. Okay. Yes That's

32:44

great having been zapped

32:46

by this nasty gun and

32:48

seen that it's nearly killed one

32:51

of their Bigfoot compatriots, the high priest

32:54

through like, parses you're saying And then

32:56

when you point to the key

32:58

and then point at brain and point

33:00

to the gun like his eyes

33:02

go wide. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

33:04

whoa, whoa, whoa. He frantically waves his guys.

33:06

then And then he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

33:08

whoa. they're like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

33:11

whoa. I listen to these guys all

33:13

day the guy steps forward

33:15

like the main priest steps forward to you

33:17

Matt. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, forward whoa. And

33:19

and he points to himself, and he's like,

33:21

points to the key. Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh-huh. Whoa. he

33:24

points to you and he to Trudy, like, whoa, whoa,

33:26

whoa. Yes. Trudy,

33:28

that's Trudy. Trudy. And put

33:30

it at the top

33:32

the top, key, key.

33:35

And they all go, key, key, key, key, key,

33:37

key, key. Trudy plus

33:39

key is good. I

33:42

do a little dance, like, good. And all

33:44

go whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The priest comes

33:47

up to you and he

33:49

like gives you like. Keep your iron sights on him, Francis.

33:51

Huh? I keep swinging. I keep swinging the chamber in case

33:53

you like seven feet tall He's

33:55

towering over you and he does this like

33:57

little bow. Like, in this little

34:00

bow I'm like, whoa, whoa. Ah,

34:02

yeah, I bow back. Yes,

34:04

we bow back. Yes, and then he stands

34:06

up and goes whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

34:08

whoa. and he points to the city in

34:10

the distance. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa whoa You're

34:12

from there. Whoa, whoa, whoa. whoa. whoa, Okay.

34:14

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa, whoa. Why aren't you

34:16

there right now? Whoa, Whoa, now? whoa, whoa,

34:18

whoa. whoa, Big questions, big questions. Francis, you

34:20

need to use the pointing and gesturing

34:22

way. pointing. oh, okay. Also, Francis, you notice

34:24

that like the way this seems to

34:26

be sizing up is that like the big

34:28

priest seems like Kelsey, you must be

34:30

the me of your group. Yes. And then

34:32

the big foot that you shot at

34:34

Francis, she comes up she's glowering at you and

34:36

she's like oh you must be the me this.

34:38

group. Like badass. And she her arms, glares

34:40

at you like hmm. hmm. Yeah except

34:42

don't get shot in the chest like an

34:44

idiot. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

34:46

Whoa, I point point Is cute? I mean

34:48

if, yeah, sure, yeah, for big foots.

34:50

Yeah, absolutely. And he's

34:52

born to storm. When they point. He's

34:56

been gone for like a day. Yeah,

34:59

but I gave up on Carly. I'm

35:01

the market again. Oh, you're a free man

35:03

You weren't dating Carly. You weren't dating

35:05

Carly. You trying to murder her boyfriend. That's

35:07

not the same as dating somebody Francis.

35:09

What's amazing about him? Francis, we have, whoa,

35:11

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

35:13

the high priest points to the city distance.

35:15

Okay, I point to the I go.

35:17

What is that called? We and I point

35:20

to all of us and I point

35:22

out like as if there's a city behind

35:24

me I go America America,

35:27

America city,

35:29

what, Whoa Shining city on a hill.

35:31

What's yours called? Whoa? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

35:34

whoa. You can't really understand it. Okay,

35:36

whoa, But he's whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa.

35:38

Any for you to like follow them together?

35:40

Heads on this heads Heads on the swivel

35:42

I point to city and I give a

35:44

big thumbs up Like, oh, looks really cool

35:46

Before we go the city can we go

35:48

to and I point the temple and I

35:50

point to the key I go key first.

35:53

Whoa, whoa, He points to the temple. Yeah,

35:55

And we all point to temple We all

35:57

point to the temple. All right. Yeah, to he

35:59

leads Down the valley towards the temple

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39:50

many of these big boys are us? you

39:52

got like a red new of Seven Bigfoot surround

39:54

you. Okay, we're dead if we fuck this

39:57

up. Yeah. as you're down this

39:59

hill, see the three bigfoots that guarding this

40:01

temple look a little surprised, but then they realized

40:03

something important must be happening, So they're like,

40:05

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, the main guy is like,

40:07

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They immediately

40:09

snap to attention and aside as you approach

40:11

the entrance to this temple. As we're

40:13

approaching them, there's one little snotty Bigfoot trying

40:15

to get them to break character. You

40:18

know I to mean? I Like throwing little pebbles

40:20

at, the The guy's kissing on the cheek. Kissing them

40:22

on like, the cheek. cheek. Trying to them to

40:24

break here, he's got a big old hat.

40:26

big old hat. Yeah. Trudy, can I ask you Yes. As a

40:28

while, I got a motion. you have a little second here,

40:31

as you guys asking. I'm heading towards this little Maybe a little rude

40:33

question. I'm just trying to, I I don't know

40:35

how much you've kind of examined know how your

40:37

robot self works. I was actually wondering the same

40:39

thing if I have a translation app within

40:41

me. Oh, even better. I didn't I think about

40:43

that. think about that. are you looking for, how do do you

40:45

load a movie? I Well, a different mole on my

40:47

body and see what happens. OK.

40:49

Have any of the other moles anything? Well,

40:52

I don't know. How

40:55

many moles do you have? I'm one of

40:57

the moles people people I know. She's

40:59

like Lindsey Graham. Give

41:01

me a no role to see if I

41:03

can just to access your memories of

41:05

yourself and just to know your own

41:07

body to know if this is something

41:10

that you have the capability of

41:12

doing. Oh, another own body. This is yourself

41:14

equivalent of getting system information in Windows. I

41:17

got a 46, a education is 65.

41:19

my education is 65. Oh,

41:21

Oh, OK. Dan, know all

41:23

the models of graphics card.

41:25

Yeah. Okay. OK, so Trudy just

41:27

in DX Diagon to run. I love

41:29

it. You of like of

41:31

this vague memory of when

41:33

you were being installed into your

41:35

body, Vague half of consciousness that have slipped

41:37

past you in the months I guess

41:40

since you were built. but you have

41:42

this vague sense of like having ability

41:44

programmed into you to

41:46

understand other, almost like original Trudy was

41:48

able to communicate to you psychically. There's a

41:50

sort of latent ability like that to

41:52

understand the communication of others that Tucker

41:54

had programmed into you And there's some way

41:56

to activate it. It's one of the

41:59

many how many Moles on your body She's one

42:01

of the most people in the world Give me a D100.

42:03

me a d100 Moles.

42:08

97 So

42:11

one of your 97 moles will of your

42:13

97 moles will activate this

42:15

ability. All right, boys, let's press

42:17

moles. I I

42:19

look for for any

42:22

irregular, maybe like moles

42:25

that I I might have. By the

42:27

way, the the average number of moles on

42:29

a a person, to 40. to 40. Okay, so I

42:31

definitely have a lot on lot So

42:33

how many of your moles you reach Like

42:35

I guess it's mostly just like any

42:38

mole in your back. She's got friends with her, though. So every mole

42:40

is reachable with friends. You know, I personally have a lot of

42:42

friends. Rollie, give me a... 97, I'm write

42:44

down a number. Okay. And you you

42:46

the number, you can activate, by hook

42:48

by crook, your ability to universal

42:50

translate. You remember a moment when you and

42:52

Tec were making love and he's

42:54

like. Whatever you do, Trudy, don't

42:56

ever touch this mole on your own body. think

42:58

he ever said that. this mole on touch this

43:00

mole on your own body. I think he

43:02

ever said that we were silent in bed with

43:05

the lights off under the covers after

43:07

both showered and then showering

43:09

afterwards. Did say it between his and

43:11

second pump before he ended? Roll

43:14

a 97-sided dice, I guess. sided dice, I guess.

43:16

Okay. You just re-roll if it's a 99, or 100. 99

43:18

Yeah, just re-roll if it's a 98, 99, or 100. 100.

43:21

60. No, that is not the number. that is not

43:23

the number. God, And we'll let you just, we'll let you, want to you should let

43:25

me guess what number me guess what me it guess was. you right, I'll

43:27

give you one more guess, guess. 71. No,

43:29

it's not 71. not it. But what did

43:32

do? do? I was going to say like the like

43:34

the Nintendo 64. It was not either. either. So far,

43:36

none of them have done anything. It's clear that you're good

43:38

that you're exploring You should learn should. You should learn

43:40

your body. That's an important thing for us women do.

43:42

I was also just going to think, when we get

43:44

to this key, do you have any part

43:46

of your body? Like, again, I'm trying to be

43:48

polite. Do Do you have a a keyhole? I

43:51

have a pocket. have a pocket! Okay, well, I

43:53

guess that works We're just like I

43:55

just more want the... What? more want

43:57

the You just ask women that. I just more want

43:59

to... that key like is yours

44:01

like it belongs to you. So like I don't

44:03

know Do you know your brain opens I up? was

44:05

wondering if there's like a slot. That way we get there, you can

44:07

like, oh hey, that's mine But I dropped

44:09

that, that's mine, give it to me. I

44:12

didn't see any pockets these big feet, so maybe if

44:14

she puts it in her pocket, they'll still

44:16

think the same thing. And I'll have a green oven

44:18

mitt. perfectly match the hue of the key.

44:20

I just think they won't just give

44:22

it to us I was just trying to think.

44:24

Yeah, it seems very important I got lost and found you,

44:26

you gotta prove, asked for your ID. So it's

44:28

just like you know, it's just like as

44:30

you Actually, some places don't ask for your ID. Okay.

44:32

Now you find out that Kelsey goes to lost and founds and gets

44:34

stuck. It just says stuff. Well, most places

44:36

ask for your ID, but if you stole

44:38

your encyclopedia, you'd be plagiarized. I lost my credit card. If

44:40

you're a six -old teacher I say they don't even ask,

44:42

you say hey, think I I lost some stuff

44:45

at this restaurant, I just get the

44:47

lost and found, they'll you take anything,

44:49

guys. As you

44:51

approach the temple, the guards step aside,

44:53

step into an inner chamber

44:55

And it's got like a

44:57

sort of high vaulted ceiling spy

44:59

hidden for And you're just spot heading for

45:01

key. Go ahead. I missed. Okay, you don't see a

45:03

key. Well, this is lovely. have to

45:05

meet your interior decorator. The priest

45:07

like whoa, whoa, whoa. so you see

45:09

this mural wrapped around this

45:11

chamber and like the priest

45:14

is showing you this mural

45:16

Kind of going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

45:19

Oh, this is the story of your Oh,

45:22

how would he know? Good job, Kelsey. Yeah, wait, how

45:24

did he recognize what you said? Holy shit, he can

45:27

speak English. He can hear it, he just can't say

45:29

it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He can't. Yeah, don't you see

45:31

that? So we understand the sentence as well.

45:33

I don't know how to get out of this. Be careful

45:35

what we say now. I

45:37

think they can understand us. Yes, they own

45:39

the English, eh? He of shows you

45:41

this mural and the mural depicts the

45:43

cultural history of these people

45:45

long ago two tribes lived

45:47

in harmony. Oh my God. Pfft.

45:52

I Is

46:00

Is there another podcast you'd like to

46:02

go to? Would you like to

46:04

go the principal's office, Anthony's

46:07

just fucking jamming the on his on

46:09

his controller like, let me skip it. Just

46:11

me the sword, sword. me the sword. on

46:13

Hold on the A button, I shoot?

46:15

pause, skip cutscene, skip cut scene. Anthony, if if

46:17

you would like to play your Steam Deck

46:19

while explaining this important plot information, go ahead.

46:21

I'm excited about these two tribes. Long

46:23

ago, two tribes live harmony. Francis, pay

46:25

attention. I am, Okay. I have autism. I I

46:27

Francis, can games and and at the same

46:29

time, I I think. Oh, I God. One

46:32

tribe. One from the plane. A tribe

46:34

called Quest. One One from the

46:36

planes and from the swamp. And

46:39

he says, like, brrr. Like when he's, you know, you're he's one of

46:41

the swamp. He does not like the Swamp.

46:43

guys. He no, not like the Plains. I think you're

46:45

are planes. I think guys. are planes, one day, day,

46:47

a brave hero of the Plains named...

46:50

Do we have a document that does the submitted

46:52

names? I'm pretty sure sure somebody submitted Link. Matt

46:54

Arnold submitted Link. Link from

46:56

the planes of Hyrule is submitted. the Plains

46:59

of Hyrule. Hey, Hey,

47:01

look at this submission. like a This cool guy.

47:03

like a pretty cool guy. What did

47:05

he write? He wrote, like... This was

47:07

sent to us by Kiva. Thank you, Thank you,

47:09

Kiva. The name is Huxley Fiasco. So

47:12

a like big foot named Huxley Fiasco discovered

47:15

a in the ground, in the ground, some

47:17

strange thing in the ground with

47:19

a key inside. Key. And the people

47:21

of the name planes it a

47:23

gift from the gods above. And that

47:25

someday would discover a door in the

47:27

sky that this key belongs belongs that would

47:29

allow them to ascend to another world.

47:32

The people of the planes worked nobly towards

47:34

this goal, but they were betrayed

47:36

by the greedy people of the swamp

47:38

who coveted the key. They attacked the people the

47:40

planes, stole the key, and have it

47:42

ever since. So, it's not

47:44

swamp. not here. people some people have it. a

47:46

Give me a roll. Kelsey. role. Oh, yeah, don't Oh,

47:49

yeah, don't worry. just want to to see how

47:51

good of a success that was. That was a

47:53

super was a super success. a 26 out of 55.

47:55

26 out of 55. Excellent. Okay, then can tell

47:57

that this mural has been painted over. It

48:01

like this temple has

48:03

changed hands a couple of times. so

48:06

this you are seeing might not

48:08

be the whole story. Unreliable

48:11

narrator, dude. Perhaps if one were to take a closer

48:13

look, But you'd have to do so under the you're

48:15

in the room with the foots right now. But

48:17

right now. Can I just get really close to

48:19

the picture? Sure. I mean, I

48:21

want a closer look. We'll take out

48:23

your reading glasses. Oh, you're right, my

48:25

reading glasses. I take out my

48:27

reading glasses. These things really double my

48:29

spot-hidden skill My

48:32

spot hidden skill is now 100. I

48:36

take my reading glasses out and I

48:38

get real close. As you do that,

48:40

the priest gets a little suspicious. if

48:43

he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, if he's whoa.

48:45

I put my finger up, like that's

48:47

the classic teacher librarian finger like I'm I

48:49

lean forward. Give

48:51

me an intimidate and I got

48:53

19, but my Intimidate is 15. I

48:55

Yeah, I feel have four luck

48:57

spend. You push your role and risk the

49:00

consequences. what, I'll use for for a

49:02

shush. That feels like a good thing

49:04

to do. I I got 53 luck.

49:06

I shushed. Okay, so you shush him

49:08

and yes with your inner authority, you

49:10

remind him of his Bigfoot mother he's very

49:12

scared of, and he kind of

49:14

backs off for a second second, He's like he's really

49:16

turned on a second. He hides

49:18

his job and thus therapy is born.

49:22

Ecology be - Yeah,

49:32

he has this confused look on his face

49:34

he's both aroused and intimidated by you. And then

49:36

he backs off because he is also weighing like

49:38

do I to offend this higher up in this

49:40

new group of people or not? So he

49:42

backs away and lets you get a a closer look. As

49:44

you approach. Mm-hmm You can kind of

49:46

make out like what's been etched over and what's been

49:48

made over as you look at the mural and

49:51

you can tell that in a different older

49:53

version of the story. He was

49:55

gifted to the people of this was

49:57

wampled the gods below. and

49:59

stole by a cruel named Huxley, What

50:01

was it? Huxley Fiasco. And in this version,

50:03

they're called Suxley Fiasco. Oh. Sux, whoa, whoa, whoa.

50:06

It It was by Suxley Fiasco from the

50:08

people of the planes, so people of the swamp

50:10

a cunning raid to steal the key

50:12

back and have held it ever since.

50:14

They've been plumbing the depths trying to find

50:16

the door below that the key goes

50:18

to so they can descend to a

50:21

new world and join their gods. while

50:23

the people of the planes to steal their

50:25

key back. Trudy, if you look

50:27

closer, there's another version that says, essentially

50:29

both of them think the other the bad guy, but

50:31

but another I think in either story, the swamp

50:34

people have the key. Oh. Oh. Give me

50:36

one more spot hidden, everybody. Another spot hidden,

50:38

give me a no roll. No. 51 51

50:40

and my Noah is 70, pass. I got an 11.

50:43

63 and my no is 28,

50:45

failed. Francis failed. Francis failed. Okay, so you

50:47

two. We're both both pass. your cool gun.

50:50

Get Get a load of this stuff. you that. Let Let me

50:52

hear a little bit of that. Yeah, I keep my

50:54

finger off the trigger. It's a good trigger discipline, I think.

50:56

I load don't understand. you you pull trigger, but the one of

50:58

the time it only shoots. Yeah, one third of the time is pretty

51:00

good. I I mean, if I was - I the other batter in big

51:02

I was a batter in the big leagues, 300

51:04

300 is pretty good. But the average,

51:06

right? Other two out of three times. Yeah, miss

51:09

it. Yes. - But I'm getting up

51:11

nice and close, so that's not even an issue.

51:13

Well, you just the trigger again. killed my dog. No,

51:16

now listen, you have a gun. I

51:18

do. And I have a memory

51:20

of my beloved dog. Yeah, I

51:22

I will stand over here. I will stand

51:25

over here, please. Keep cool, bitch. Yeah,

51:28

I curse now. You're

51:30

such a cool teen. Thank you. Finally,

51:33

somebody gets me. Are you

51:35

maybe number one popular kid in class?

51:38

You know what? Yes. Wow.

51:40

Now, Now, Francis, we don't tell

51:42

lies in this temple. I

51:45

mean, I am probably the most popular. You

51:47

were assuming they that I shot a kid. Yeah, you

51:49

the most bullied until you shot a

51:51

kid whiskey. They're talking about me now. Yeah, they're

51:53

talking about me. They're like, don't them talking, no, no,

51:55

no, know, all hey, hey, good press. Hey, hey,

51:58

probably a win is a win. I

52:00

have question for you. Yeah, what do you think's going

52:02

to happen when we get back? I

52:05

think Shane Silver Seniors going to

52:07

kill me I think he's going to find

52:09

me. He's going to pretend that I did I have drugs

52:11

on me and he's going to shoot me in the fucking

52:13

head So

52:15

I'm going to try to kill him first kill

52:17

I him would love any help with that. Okay, well you're

52:19

clear -eyed about it. Wow, these kids going through a

52:21

lot. Well, that's

52:23

going on. The two you notice is

52:26

a star chart on the

52:28

ceiling above you like constellations and You

52:31

of realize you're looking at them and maybe a

52:33

for astronomy. Oh, she knows everything about strongly You

52:35

know everything about astronomy and Trudy's a robot, So

52:37

if so fact Oh You realize that this spot

52:39

you were standing on is like people think

52:41

that this is the exact center of

52:43

their universe. they're like, this is the

52:46

center of the whole of existence. Okay,

52:48

as you're taking in these sites the high priest is

52:50

looking a little antsy and he really wants to get

52:52

you over to his City, he's like whoa

52:54

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, city. whoa.

52:56

He points to not his watch, they don't have

52:58

watches, but he points to his arm

53:00

and that's the symbol for let's hurry up

53:02

on this one. On his On his arm a

53:04

small sundial. Yes. He has a wrist sundial.

53:06

Last time I worked inside, whoa, whoa, sundial.

53:08

whoa. Hold it outside and it's

53:11

pointed and he's like, whoa, whoa, worked

53:13

whoa. I you just really quick This

53:15

painting, more does show the door that they

53:17

want to go to? like is that how

53:19

we learned that? yes, Okay, great. because I

53:21

point at that door and I I

53:23

go, oh, oh that door, that's where

53:25

we're from. Oh. Yeah. So

53:28

Oh, they all drop to their knees.

53:30

So I say, all of you you and I

53:32

point out all of them and then I

53:34

do a motion of like go to war and

53:36

I go I go, swap, Swap get key

53:38

and bring it here and sit down. Kelsey,

53:43

I don't think you get to judge me anymore.

53:47

The Bigfoot like whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, whoa, whoa, whoa,

53:49

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He's like, He's like we

53:52

should go to the city. Okay. This is like

53:54

when you skip the cutscene and another cutscene starts

53:56

and to like, sit ah, two in a

53:58

row. Right?

54:00

It's not good at that. No, no, no, I'm no, no, I'm kidding.

54:02

I'm came by you know, it's like another

54:04

city. He has more information for us. It looks broken. It

54:07

looks broken. We're off to the

54:09

city of the city of planes people. So

54:11

the high chief is like whoa, he his

54:13

hands three times and the

54:15

three guards give up their cool horse

54:17

spider mounts. Hell yeah. four of them because

54:19

for you give up their mounts

54:21

so that the four of you can ride these cools.

54:24

Well, shouldn't marbles get own mount? Yes.

54:26

Oh Oh, you show them marbles. Yeah. Marbles

54:28

pop. Oh, marbles. oh, oh, Maybe not

54:30

oh, now. Fucking chill. maybe So now.

54:32

looking like unnerved at you.

54:34

so want you to know back I've

54:36

been thinking about you. looking like unnerved

54:39

at you. Mar - I just

54:41

want you to know that I've been

54:43

thinking about you and again. I I am

54:45

so so sorry Oh, God. Marvel

54:48

hates you for using marbles

54:50

a weapon to kill your robot daughter I

54:53

just don't think that it should

54:55

be forever. That can take him. that

54:57

way. Drew, I could take him. What

55:00

do you mean? Like I hold on to him until

55:02

he forgets about the trauma that you inflicted me. on him.

55:05

No, no, no, no, no. Marbles

55:07

meows skeptically that's never going to marbles. Marbles in

55:09

my skull Hedlem yeah maybe Yeah.

55:12

happen to Maybe and then you happen to

55:14

marbles be you will be even. Hey, what

55:16

the fuck is okay? what the I

55:18

love all of God's creatures. I'm joking,

55:20

I never do that

55:22

I love I'm all of God's

55:24

creatures! Yes, yes, but I see. Kelsey

55:26

Trudy. Is it Francis

55:28

like this? Well, Well, he's a youth,

55:31

a teenager and they can be so hard headed

55:33

and just a teenager, and

55:35

they can be so hard

55:37

headed. And, you know,

55:39

just kind of a, but,

55:41

you know, he's growing up, and

55:44

he's learning, and and He's

55:47

a work in progress. We all are. Isn't

55:50

that just the age question with

55:52

violent kids is just were

55:54

they always that? It is something

55:56

pushing. We Don't know if Francis

55:58

gone through a lot So

56:00

we'll say all of this you guys can

56:02

continue the conversation This is You you are

56:05

through the the on your spider horse. Oh, horses. yeah, Oh,

56:07

we were good at it Yeah, I was like I could

56:09

make you you but I don't want to

56:11

think about like you you know what love it You're

56:13

fine. to write Their stable Yeah, they got more legs

56:15

right they're very obedient What if two legs just coming

56:17

out of either side of them and like

56:19

perpendicular to the ground So it's like Well,

56:24

it's nice is they can break a horse leg

56:26

and not get put down because they got five other Oh

56:29

Wow, yeah, think about it. Wait spiders have legs

56:33

Four legs and still have four legs I

56:35

shoot every spider the second

56:37

it gets injured you shoot every

56:39

Yeah, so yes, you go

56:41

through these rolling planes Towards

56:44

this village. It's quite nice. It's

56:46

quite pretty There are sort of

56:48

telltale that the area kind of fallen

56:50

on on times You see people being

56:52

tended to Well, a a lot of

56:54

of bigfoot's limbs like they've been through

56:56

a couple of battles here You

56:58

know make your way through these stashed roofed

57:00

huts this little village that surrounds

57:02

a big almost a Viking you know long house

57:04

like a Viking lodge and You enter

57:06

and there's like two like sigils

57:08

of a key on the door

57:11

as they swing open They're

57:13

really key pillows. Oh, I had a bunch of

57:15

fun details about that Like they all

57:18

have mohawks and then you realize that they've

57:20

styled their hair to look like the ridges

57:22

of cool It's kind of fun Hey

57:27

guys, look at their hair looks like teeth

57:29

You roll in like first who comes in

57:31

first on horseback Well, dismounted from

57:33

your horses. Who's the who I in on

57:35

horseback? You right you your spider horse

57:37

straight through the front doors Yes, they

57:39

swing open and guess what This

57:41

is a little treat for the

57:43

person who opened the door. They

57:45

look just like Strider

57:47

he fucking opens that door Join me and he's on

57:50

a horse in addition to being all

57:52

sexy when he comes in a row on

57:54

it like that What if the

57:56

horse pushed it open? Oh,

58:00

that's true Actually. Yes, horse pushed

58:02

it open the horse looks really

58:04

sexy. Yeah Yeah. Yeah, so this really

58:06

spider horse tassels It's dirty Vigo in here and then

58:08

lands then reveals you and you see

58:11

at the end of this hall a Queen

58:14

on her throne this Bigfoot Queen her name

58:16

is Anthony hit me her name

58:18

is working I submit by Dave where's this? Mission

58:22

for I I was a bit

58:24

This is from Charlene lamphere. Mm-hmm.

58:26

name is scarlet scarlet

58:28

fiasco key keyfinder of the plains

58:30

people Queen scarlet at first as

58:32

you barge through the door But

58:34

then the high priest comes up and

58:37

it's like whoa whoa, whoa, Whoa, whoa. Everyone's

58:39

a titter as he introduces

58:41

you Everyone's a titter

58:43

and you I assume dismounts the

58:45

Queen rises of she's looking

58:47

regal and intimidating and impressed

58:49

also I got a You know like she's got

58:52

to show her dominance. Yeah I

58:54

point me Trudy Trudy

58:56

I experienced scarlet once a

58:58

month So

59:16

the Queen up to

59:18

you in eyes you what were you

59:21

saying Kelsey? you say so I just

59:23

had my name and truly yes. Yes, like

59:25

the room bows to the Queen I bow

59:27

to most She walks

59:29

around you kind of hang suspicious. Oh,

59:31

she sort of strokes her chin like think

59:33

Whoa, whoa, whoa, and And

59:36

she looks at one of the

59:38

sort of members of her court a

59:40

war whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa, And there's wall

59:42

and then he runs out you hear

59:44

like some struggling and scuffling and

59:46

he comes back in with a chained

59:48

up Human man in a lab coat. Oh

59:50

And he's got like big glasses and

59:52

he's like a little nerdy looking

59:54

guy and he's like well just hang on with

59:56

it And he sees he's like, oh, oh, thank God Oh, thank

59:58

God humans. Oh, thank God. I'll think wait. are

1:00:00

you doing here? Who are you? Who

1:00:02

Who you? are you identify yourself and do I

1:00:04

know this man's toilet? I could track tentas

1:00:06

then the Queen is like whoa whoa whoa whoa

1:00:08

the guy. like, okay Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:00:10

Oh you can speak. Yeah, I can

1:00:12

speak. I'm part of project heartland you

1:00:14

guys work? Did you the door open? Tell

1:00:16

me you left the door open. me we

1:00:18

out of here We do leave it

1:00:20

open. I can't remember T Rex left it.

1:00:22

Yeah, I don't think we closed

1:00:25

it And there's been a real problem

1:00:27

with containment, but we need the key and we're

1:00:29

here to rescue you Okay. Okay. are

1:00:31

they by the way? Who are you? Well, let's

1:00:33

start here. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow I just

1:00:35

told them that I'm gonna be explaining something to

1:00:37

you guys real quick so that we understand

1:00:39

each other. Now give me a couple minutes before the fishes

1:00:42

do. needs She needs to do. Toronto gosh! She

1:00:45

got Carbonites data Dotheta! Meanwhile

1:00:50

the Queen's like in the far

1:00:52

away Metabate to When

1:00:54

you say that, will the Queen's

1:00:57

like whoa whoa, whoa,

1:00:59

whoa, Another cutscene from this Shut up.

1:01:01

From their No their perspective, they

1:01:03

wait. From their perspective, they also think we'll story it.

1:01:05

No, no, no, now they have to wait for this

1:01:07

guy to explain to us. All right, Ted. man

1:01:10

new man. all the foots take

1:01:12

out their steam decks New

1:01:15

man, what is your name? My name is

1:01:17

Jenkins. I work in the project heartland research division I

1:01:19

came in this morning, a morning. I was just

1:01:21

trying to catch up on work. Don't

1:01:23

tell Tucker I'm in here, Okay, I mean,

1:01:25

we won't. How long been in here? Oh,

1:01:28

I mean I came in this morning, but time

1:01:30

works differently here. I've been trapped here for

1:01:32

weeks. I got captured. Okay. yeah, you seem like

1:01:34

a very bad guy I'm

1:01:38

just saying he's a bad guy, but he doesn't

1:01:40

know that we know that. Oh, he's an A. He's

1:01:42

a bad guy. My face. It's

1:01:44

hard to find how I feel. And he looks

1:01:46

at you, trudy like, Mrs.

1:01:49

Trout Nasty, What do you

1:01:51

but if you're here then oh

1:01:53

gone bad something's really wrong

1:01:55

hasn't it? What would you say that? Oh

1:01:57

boy? boy oh boy Oh boy? Oh?

1:01:59

I'm in a lot of trouble. of of I that

1:02:01

said that I should my horizons and maybe

1:02:04

clean of the laboratory. so I wound

1:02:06

up in here so silly just a

1:02:08

classic mistake Okay, I don't believe you

1:02:10

but look we're all in a pretty

1:02:12

bad situation here okay It sounds like we-

1:02:14

cool mean, we're cool. They think you killed us. you

1:02:16

know where the key is that's

1:02:19

what we need the key is? key is Yeah,

1:02:21

the is people they're on the other

1:02:23

side of the world yeah we

1:02:25

already knew that Kill this guy! Yeah,

1:02:28

we didn't, did we translate that? Yeah,

1:02:30

let's kill guy in wah-wah. Well, I'm not gonna trade-

1:02:32

you kidding Who is this who are you

1:02:34

are you? Francis Yes, Francis. Where's Nightmare? have an

1:02:36

idea Francis have an how do you

1:02:39

say this man is our friend

1:02:41

we need to save this guy

1:02:43

Oh, good oh Oh, oh, oh, great cuz

1:02:45

yeah they think you're- What you tell

1:02:47

them we You don't need to worry about

1:02:49

that, need to worry about what going- They

1:02:52

think bottom door And had some cool

1:02:54

technology we shot some stuff. Trudy the brain

1:02:56

and we pointed at the picture and said we were from

1:02:58

the sky. my God, okay. Jenkins, let

1:03:00

just be the first to say

1:03:02

Tucker's very disappointed you Uh-oh. of Because of

1:03:05

time card is going to be

1:03:07

very overtime. but he doesn't

1:03:09

even know I'm here how does he know I'm

1:03:11

here How are you going to fill out

1:03:13

your time card, genius? Oh jeez, oh jeez. Look, just regroup at

1:03:15

the bunker and we can figure it out

1:03:17

there okay? but first tell me how to say

1:03:19

the thing that we asked you to say oh Oh,

1:03:21

okay. do we want to save him? Well, no, because here was

1:03:23

my plan, my cunning plan, you can then say that

1:03:25

and then then wink at them and now

1:03:27

they'll know you're not being serious. We

1:03:29

might as well save him if there's like a security measure. Well,

1:03:32

you guys should definitely save me. Fine, we'll save you, but I

1:03:34

have a question. Well, who did you work for Project Heartbreak or

1:03:36

not? No, we don't. We are part

1:03:38

of the ex-unit. I do, she doesn't. I

1:03:41

We're a to get out of

1:03:43

here I am on on your side

1:03:45

You're doing a lot of talking

1:03:47

for something that something from us

1:03:49

So just wait, just wait one second. I

1:03:52

a question my name is Kelsey.

1:03:54

should know I'm the teacher in beachy milk. So

1:03:57

respect it, okay? Yeah, hi, Mrs. The high, Mrs. question -

1:03:59

my Okay, quick quick question. You remember

1:04:01

me Jenkins. You taught me in high school? I

1:04:03

my favorite students. So here's a

1:04:06

thing What? have

1:04:08

you met the swamp people? I haven't met the swamp

1:04:10

people. No Do you get a a sense that

1:04:12

they're pretty similar to these people? No, they're

1:04:14

way different They came out of like the environment

1:04:16

got contaminated in that swamp. and like they evolved. It's

1:04:19

not the typical thing that we see

1:04:21

and when we run these experiments. What's the

1:04:23

typical thing you see Oh, you guys really

1:04:25

don't know anything about why you're here,

1:04:27

dude. We are We are of the Unit. We know

1:04:29

why we're we're here do black ops. Do You know

1:04:31

what this place is. Do you going on

1:04:33

here? going on I assume it's an experiment to

1:04:35

see how like society emerges over long

1:04:37

periods of time Like, you fuck with and shit and

1:04:39

see what happens Francis, is good critical thinking Am I

1:04:41

right? Yeah, that was great. You always had such a hard such

1:04:43

a hard time when you read those

1:04:45

paragraphs you had to summarize them Like, but you

1:04:47

I even catch that. You're not far off.

1:04:49

Yeah, I dab. So what we're in

1:04:51

right now to again, I need

1:04:53

to wrap this up because they're

1:04:55

looking a little suspicious. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa,

1:04:58

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, say whoa, something to

1:05:00

me Like, angry What if I don't believe that you're

1:05:03

them. What if I believe

1:05:05

that you're not going to help

1:05:07

us? Well, you only have me

1:05:09

to trust unless there's mole on on

1:05:11

your I'm going to press another mole. Well, guess a number.

1:05:13

number. I'm guess I I

1:05:15

Am going to guess before she

1:05:17

guesses, this is important. you decided, there other

1:05:19

numbers she could say that do

1:05:21

other things and There absolutely should be. Yeah. All

1:05:24

right. three of you of you me a

1:05:26

number and something it does on Trudy. OK.

1:05:29

That's fun. Beth, you can can do

1:05:31

it too. I I don't want to say I don't want to say that

1:05:33

Trudy doesn't have control for a body Somebody else

1:05:35

guess number and I'll tell you what

1:05:37

it does I can't provide the numbers. Oh, sure.

1:05:40

I you're right. I will Yes, text me the

1:05:42

thing Freddy. What?

1:05:45

a mole makes me cum. I'm going to be

1:05:47

pissed off. I've sent

1:05:49

mine. OK. Yes, it was my

1:05:51

plan to make Trudy like R2D2, who

1:05:54

just keeps getting more and more things happen to

1:05:56

him. With the Swiss

1:05:58

army of plot robots. I am

1:06:00

going to guess the number. 31.

1:06:03

31 nope nothing fuck Um... that one's

1:06:05

just cancer. When you say, make look angry,

1:06:07

I'm going to slap Jenkins oh Baw! And then

1:06:09

like turn to the three of them be be like

1:06:11

yeah, right I'm in charge. guys just pretend

1:06:13

it's cool that I slapped him. That

1:06:15

was pretty cool. So cool! And I look

1:06:17

at the chief. go, go you know. I I

1:06:20

got a take a CEOs

1:06:24

no LinkedIn CEOs

1:06:26

no making Work

1:06:28

life balance Jenkins we're going to save you. I

1:06:30

want you to understand the situation you're in

1:06:32

now, which is you longer work for project heartland you

1:06:34

You longer for me. Okay. we're doing is great.

1:06:36

And we're going to get three keys because

1:06:38

we're saving PC bill whatever you guys were doing.

1:06:41

so well I will okay agree to disagree,

1:06:43

but okay, okay, That's fine. I know love

1:06:46

to learn more about

1:06:48

what you think Project heartland is

1:06:50

because a a teacher and I should I should not

1:06:52

close my mind to you right I was a little close-minded, so I

1:06:54

I would love to learn look your first It's Mole

1:06:56

17 nothing on You printed nothing

1:06:58

on molnus. I'm 17. Jenkins

1:07:03

like looks at you. He tells me to just look

1:07:05

at you, pressing your moles. It's crazy. have

1:07:07

them numbered. I said ahead. Tell them that you

1:07:09

are my assistant, and I need you

1:07:11

back, because I can't do it without you. okay,

1:07:14

And he goes to them and says, blah -wa

1:07:16

-wa blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah -wa -wa -wa -wa. I

1:07:18

give thumbs up and you give a thumbs up,

1:07:20

and they're like, like hmm, and then they,

1:07:22

like, cut Jenkins' ropes go and they shove

1:07:24

him to you guys. He's like thank you, thank you,

1:07:26

thank you. Look, this is gonna safe place

1:07:28

for us to talk. Let's go to the secret

1:07:30

hideout, and I can explain everything to you there.

1:07:32

okay? I like this is only like who

1:07:34

it's a secret from everyone here Oh,

1:07:37

it's just it's just the observation bunker

1:07:39

inside the chamber, cool Cool, well they

1:07:41

let us walk over there and then

1:07:43

he turns to the chief like whoa

1:07:45

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa? And the chief

1:07:47

like looks suspicious oh Like the chief

1:07:49

like wants you to stay no she

1:07:51

wants you to stay and like

1:07:54

Minkins is replacing himself with us.

1:07:56

Making them. He's like the chief is

1:07:58

like whoa like gestures to the food like

1:08:00

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I mean, I would be rude

1:08:02

not to. Yes it's it's culturally important. eat. we stay here

1:08:04

or go with Jenkins? They to you, Trudy, cause you're like

1:08:06

you revealed your brain, you're like the queen of this operation.

1:08:08

Yeah, you're Ms. Manners, you know how to do

1:08:10

this. do. So she's like, whoa whoa. whoa. to Blah blah blah blah blah.

1:08:12

She like her hand out to you like a big old

1:08:14

turkey like. I to press press mole 46. Queen

1:08:18

cry that looks at you and like presses like

1:08:20

her body on like She thinks this is some

1:08:22

sort of salute that you're doing. Yes. Okay,

1:08:25

Jenkins just tell them that, because they seem like

1:08:27

they're a little doing. suspicious, just tell them that

1:08:29

it's been so long. and then in tribe, we all

1:08:31

need to get to know each other. we all

1:08:33

need to the food. Physically Physically, our again, for a

1:08:35

little bit of privacy and then we'll

1:08:37

be back after done my love making. And that our

1:08:39

culture, we get the food to go. And we'll

1:08:41

be back for the food so they're not suspicious. Yes but

1:08:43

now it's cold. Jenkins

1:08:47

is like. Ask his like it has food too. And he

1:08:49

explains all of that to her. He

1:08:51

does like gestures to like simulate love making. Blake likes

1:08:53

to eat while he watches. Yeah, so

1:08:55

then he does some eating stuff and

1:08:57

they're like, they're like oh whoa, whoa whoa whoa. And

1:08:59

then she's like, whoa whoa. And

1:09:01

then she looks at these objects

1:09:03

that you have with you, the mega

1:09:05

gun, your spell book, this detector

1:09:07

wand, the of cars. And she's like, whoa

1:09:09

whoa whoa. It's she's sort of sheepishly, but

1:09:12

but like, whoa whoa whoa, whoa. whoa, Yeah.

1:09:14

whoa, you whoa, have whoa, Whoa whoa,

1:09:16

whoa, whoa whoa, megallectric whoa. whoa. then she

1:09:18

takes this crown off of her

1:09:20

head, like beautiful helm. Mine, I give

1:09:22

her the electric gun and I

1:09:24

take the crown. And she's like whoa whoa whoa.

1:09:27

And then she points like number 46 on

1:09:29

her body again. And then, you

1:09:31

know, sort of just bids you

1:09:33

farewell and gives you your food and

1:09:35

like you know, sort of gestures like whoa

1:09:37

whoa whoa Jenkins like, the says that she's

1:09:39

very looking forward to seeing you

1:09:42

tomorrow discuss how together can crush the

1:09:44

swamp people, retrieve the key and

1:09:46

reach the door in the sky.

1:09:48

Cool, great. Well, maybe we all

1:09:50

want the same thing. Yeah, okay. seems

1:09:52

like all of our - Interests are aligned.

1:09:54

are aligned, yes very good. Jenkins the

1:09:57

way through this secret. But no moves, Jenkins. Dungeons

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the place to be, to

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be. So

1:14:13

guys are are watching Jenkins. yeah. Jenkins

1:14:15

a hawk. Yes. Jenkins. As you ride up.

1:14:18

the moment. gonna roll on Jenkins.

1:14:20

Okay, give me me a roll. And there's the

1:14:22

vines I've used before, right? Yeah. checked, was used That

1:14:25

was 10 years ago. Are there vines in

1:14:27

this place? Ha ha ha ha

1:14:29

ha. Are there vines where? What are you talking are. Where we

1:14:31

vines? Are there vines? Hey Jenkins, ask them a rope.

1:14:33

I my psychology role. I got a

1:14:35

super duper success my psychology role. Okay, great.

1:14:37

So you can tell that Jenkins

1:14:39

is just as paranoid about you guys

1:14:41

as you are about him. Great. There's

1:14:43

a mutual sense of distrust. It's

1:14:45

a real scorpion the frog situation here. I

1:14:47

tie Jenkins' hands behind his back and

1:14:49

he can lead us to a secret

1:14:51

headquarters like he's a a dog. He's

1:14:54

walking in front of us and he's on my

1:14:56

leash. Okay, great. my back God. So

1:14:58

about two days' trek to the...

1:15:01

Wow, headquarters Jenkins is very far. I mean,

1:15:03

it's a big world. It's a big

1:15:05

world in here. You head to

1:15:08

the mountains the west. There's these like big, scary looking mountains.

1:15:11

And you hear these whispering winds in the

1:15:13

tunnels. Hey Jenkins, this room is really far. Yeah, we

1:15:15

we can talk quickly after leaving the kingdom, right? the right? This is,

1:15:17

I need to, it's just, you... What's in there? No,

1:15:19

this is bullshit. You want us to

1:15:21

be to be in a rooms so you you can talk

1:15:23

to us. We can talk here. No, it

1:15:25

makes me feel like there's something in room you

1:15:27

want. Yeah, to like fuck over. over. it's about talk to

1:15:29

us. Like if you want to talk to us,

1:15:31

you can talk to us now. Okay. Explain

1:15:33

what's in the room, you you motherfucker. As the

1:15:35

kid pointed out, and I never got

1:15:37

your name by the way. I mean, I

1:15:39

did too. Yeah, you didn't. As you... don't even

1:15:41

know his name. damn, Francis, you're so cool. As

1:15:43

Francis wisely observed, this place... God

1:15:45

damn, what did you tell him? This place, you guys

1:15:47

seem familiar. I mean, like I'm seeing you got

1:15:49

the electric on, you got the book, you guys

1:15:51

have all completed Project Heartland Orientation. Yeah, they've the badges

1:15:54

too, right? And you the badges. So you

1:15:56

guys have completed Orientation. Yeah, name. we Yeah, worked for Project Heartland.

1:15:58

Okay, you told me that you didn't. but that's fine.

1:16:00

All All we need know. We completed an

1:16:02

orientation, but it was a while ago. Okay,

1:16:05

well remember when you had to

1:16:07

shove that dimensional into the stasis

1:16:09

chamber? Yes. Yeah. This is a

1:16:11

really big stasis chamber. That's

1:16:13

why time works differently here. Every

1:16:16

second out there is like a

1:16:18

thousand years in here. Time is

1:16:20

standing still in here. that allows us

1:16:22

to do, you know, we're

1:16:24

the department, rather than having to

1:16:27

spend our time researching technology,

1:16:29

we can grow entire civilizations in

1:16:31

here. And over the course of

1:16:33

a day, they'll past our wildest

1:16:35

dreams and then destroy themselves

1:16:38

and we can just take

1:16:40

their technology. I smack it. Oh, wow. What?

1:16:42

Yeah. Yeah, Are you an idiot? One these civilizations

1:16:44

is going to evolve enough that they have a

1:16:46

technology to realize where they are and then they'll

1:16:49

come and kill where us. they all of us. that And

1:16:51

they do, whenever they get close, we press

1:16:53

a little button and we flood the entire

1:16:55

world and kill them all. Yeah, no, I think they're

1:16:57

I think this. going to button look like? Well,

1:16:59

it's back in the master control room. We

1:17:01

can't access it from here. I slap him again.

1:17:03

It's like, like, you just killing people. So now you're just

1:17:06

me you're killing entire civilizations of people for

1:17:08

your little games. We just put it to me that in

1:17:10

Heartland, the objective is to

1:17:12

put a pin in the powers

1:17:14

that be, so to speak,

1:17:17

to control these otherworldly creatures that

1:17:19

are scary and big, and

1:17:21

yet you would do a vile

1:17:23

thing like the powers that be

1:17:25

for this other civilization. Yeah.

1:17:27

It shocks me. Man, the real

1:17:29

monster. Well, one to shock you. Where

1:17:31

do you think all the technology that created all those

1:17:33

moles came from? My moles? Yeah,

1:17:36

mole number 47. you don't even

1:17:38

know what that one does. Mole number 32,

1:17:40

you don't know any of these. I hate number 32. I

1:17:42

I it. You're... Your eyes

1:17:45

go into party mode like uh, Tesla. your eyes go into

1:17:47

party mode, like a Tesla? And

1:17:50

you just, like, And you blink like

1:17:52

and green. That's like Christmas party, Trudy.

1:17:54

Yeah, you didn't even know they

1:17:56

that. That's from like 20 ago.

1:17:58

As As sees that. Kelsey says,

1:18:00

looks like you killed entire civilization. I

1:18:02

look at Trudy, who's just at the

1:18:05

party boat, For that,

1:18:07

We are war. are

1:18:09

trying to help. turn and you see see Francis

1:18:11

dancing. He's like, like, what is that? are trying

1:18:13

to help humanity survive a vast terrifying

1:18:15

cosmos. Okay, we're practically on the verge of

1:18:17

destroying ourselves. I don't know if

1:18:19

you guys have looked around lately, but

1:18:22

the Doomsday is two minutes to midnight.

1:18:24

The second the atomic bomb came out,

1:18:26

we were able to annihilate ourselves. get it.

1:18:28

You you're smart and you're interesting? You're

1:18:30

not. You're just a shitty, horrible

1:18:32

person. Well, no, I don't want to anything

1:18:34

from you anymore. Jenkins, I just question

1:18:36

for you. How many experiments

1:18:39

have you run? Oh, gee, since I

1:18:41

got here two weeks ago about, well,

1:18:44

well, let's see, we can do like four or five

1:18:46

a day. Have any of these experiments yielded

1:18:48

anything actually? Oh, absolutely. I

1:18:50

mean, look at the look. Likely to save

1:18:52

us. Look at our pioneering work robotics.

1:18:54

I I mean, you're looking at it

1:18:57

right here. I'm seeing party mode that's

1:18:59

it. You're party mode and that's it? This

1:19:01

whole robot here, everything going on

1:19:03

under the hood. If you're playing civilization. I'd

1:19:05

have to look up the serial number

1:19:07

before my time, but my point is that

1:19:09

we are able to research incredible technologies that are

1:19:11

are gonna help save the human race after war

1:19:14

the powers that be. And I know it's

1:19:16

ugly work, but it's work that somebody's

1:19:18

gotta do and that's what Mr. Jenkins Jenkins technologies

1:19:20

here is gonna do. OK, we hear that

1:19:22

excuse a a lot. That's fine. Jenkins? point

1:19:24

us. You're a Nazi, aren't you? This is an operation paper.

1:19:26

Why not? How dare you? you? No, you're worth

1:19:28

dare you? you? You're almost American as pie, sir. Yeah,

1:19:30

well, that's fine. You're an American American Nazi.

1:19:32

Show us where this place is, then. Just

1:19:34

go ahead and lead us and don't talk

1:19:36

anymore, please. Jenkins leads you to this

1:19:38

bunker that's hidden in these mountains and

1:19:40

you hear like a whispering sound through the

1:19:43

wind and it sounds almost like someone's

1:19:45

speaking to you Nazi. can't quite make it

1:19:47

out. And as you draw closer and

1:19:49

closer to the place he's taking to, it sounds

1:19:51

like - show up. Oh,

1:19:54

wow. And it's pretty spooky.

1:19:56

closer and closer and closer. Hey,

1:19:59

everybody is. Shh. Shave and a haircut. Shave

1:20:01

and a haircut. Shave and

1:20:03

a haircut. Can I see you hear the wind's like,

1:20:05

Shave and a haircut? Let's think

1:20:08

a minute we say TWLBITS. -BITS. It

1:20:10

takes you into this narrow

1:20:12

slot canyon And the back

1:20:14

of the slot canyon there's wind whipping

1:20:16

around and blasting. And sound is getting louder

1:20:18

and louder and louder. And there's this tiny

1:20:20

crack and you realize sound is coming

1:20:23

through this hole. you hear shave

1:20:25

and a haircut. Shave

1:20:27

and a haircut. And then steps

1:20:29

up to the hole. I'm holding his leash

1:20:31

tight. It just, Just relax I'm not

1:20:33

It's just a, and whispers in the

1:20:35

hole TWLBITS. And then a door

1:20:37

slides open and this was the

1:20:40

cool secret password them I'm like,

1:20:42

know know, you've got to figure it out.

1:20:44

What Basically you're rumbling and this

1:20:46

rock wall facade away Revealing a bunker inside

1:20:48

like a sort of World War II meets

1:20:50

fallout shelter type of bunker. Jenkins, who was saying shave and haircut? Is

1:20:52

there in there? No, that's just our

1:20:54

security countermeasure. these people don't obviously know

1:20:56

what what shave haircut means and this is

1:20:58

you know so we can find the secret bunker

1:21:00

and then that's the password I It

1:21:02

does like if you wanted to hide

1:21:04

this place, you shouldn't have the

1:21:06

door make sounds Well.

1:21:09

It's fair. 400

1:21:12

400 buck insimulations, Ron. No, it hasn't been a problem

1:21:14

yet. So, know, I I guess that's just,

1:21:16

you know It's

1:21:20

spooky. They think it's spooky. They stay away it's the

1:21:22

spooky ghost mountain where things are cursed. Well, it tells me that a couple

1:21:24

people have gone to the door a little

1:21:26

early and you just gassed them out of embarrassment.

1:21:28

Are these bones over here? Shut -up. Don't

1:21:30

worry about about that. Don't shut up. shut up, out of

1:21:32

shut bones shut Shut up. I Shut up. asked, how

1:21:34

many of these many of these places do you have?

1:21:36

Is this the only one? Well, fuck you.

1:21:38

I'm not not you shit and then he

1:21:40

walks inside - Pistol him. Yeah. I pull them

1:21:42

back really hard on the lease, on the leash.

1:21:45

He down Give him a new answer for you

1:21:47

answer boy Do you wanna get out of

1:21:49

here or not? Yeah. don't have any leverage

1:21:51

any leverage here. my man Would you know how

1:21:53

to get out of the chamber once

1:21:55

you're inside? We can figure it out know

1:21:57

how Considering security would say two bits, I'm pretty

1:21:59

sure we're on top of once - you're Jenkins, you don't

1:22:01

have to talk with us. All right. All right. All

1:22:03

right. All right. Let's live here. How about that? And

1:22:05

you can live here with us. This is

1:22:08

the only place. This is the only room inside the

1:22:10

experiment Now, do you want to come in

1:22:12

and see or not? not? Yeah. Yeah. I

1:22:14

just want you answer Francis's question how many

1:22:16

of these there are. OK. well I did.

1:22:18

How many? Thanks. I said this one. This one.

1:22:20

I hear it because I was screaming.

1:22:22

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

1:22:24

Pfft. All people, a should know that

1:22:27

you can only use your math

1:22:29

in years. I'm my best to

1:22:31

not. lose it on this.

1:22:34

serial killer, genocidal horrible being that is part

1:22:36

of our community and I can't believe is

1:22:38

a part of it And I'm doing

1:22:40

my best. There's more of him than you think.

1:22:42

There's a lot We're going stop them and

1:22:44

I even gone to the point I haven't even told

1:22:46

him that he's deadly responsible for that whole

1:22:49

match that we watched a ton of

1:22:51

our fellow citizens die. okay

1:22:53

Jenkins, I would just advise you I

1:22:55

like I'm a nice person and I

1:22:57

don't believe violence the answer But I'm

1:22:59

just saying if you I'm close Oh,

1:23:03

I'm close. OK. I'm close. OK. OK. So Jenkins leads you

1:23:05

inside. He closes the door. OK. And he shows

1:23:07

you this bunker. So there's beds. beds. place for

1:23:09

you to sleep. There's a pantry full of

1:23:11

food. Like you get the sense that people spend

1:23:13

a lot of time in Yeah, we get it. We know

1:23:15

what bunker is, Jenkins. not idiots. He's

1:23:17

also presumably gesturing with his chin.

1:23:19

Those are beds. That's

1:23:22

a kitchen. He takes you to the

1:23:24

control room. I want to make sure that

1:23:26

I am keeping him tight. so there's no

1:23:28

way he's pressing any buttons. His

1:23:30

hands are tight his back. You got a gun

1:23:32

on him. and And he's pointing to with his nose. And

1:23:35

I'm not like his nose at the ready panel.

1:23:37

Here's what you see. So see a

1:23:39

video monitor that shows you a video

1:23:41

feed of the control room outside back

1:23:44

in Project Heartland, and on this monitor,

1:23:46

you see Tucker. when Tucker

1:23:48

is moving So so slowly you even

1:23:50

tell that he's moving, Because again, is flowing

1:23:52

slower out there than it is

1:23:54

in here. But you see Tucker

1:23:56

in the middle of flipping

1:23:58

open a case. Inside this case

1:24:00

is a syringe, and you remember that

1:24:02

he was talking about how he wanted to

1:24:04

go fix Timmy. You also remember Trudy, in your as

1:24:06

original Trudy, you remember the last thing

1:24:08

you felt before going unconscious a syringe like

1:24:10

this sliding into your neck. Oh Oh my God. So.

1:24:12

We've got to get out. We've gotta to

1:24:14

get out of here. of Well, we we

1:24:16

a lot of time, Trudy. Yeah, we basically millions

1:24:18

of years. I think we could actually, we we literally

1:24:20

live our entire lives and then

1:24:23

we come out and it'd be like few more seconds there.

1:24:25

I don't care, I just want to get and here.

1:24:27

like I here. No, understand, no, I'm with you, Drew. We're to save

1:24:29

your kid. Your kid is also in slow-mo. No,

1:24:31

I just want you to know that we We have

1:24:33

time to a way to save him. We're going

1:24:35

to do this, okay? So, if you

1:24:37

got stuck in here by accident,

1:24:39

how did you form all this stuff?

1:24:41

This has always been here. This is

1:24:43

a part of how we run

1:24:45

the simulation. If we want to granularly

1:24:47

adjust, this room is another stasis

1:24:49

chamber. This is a chamber within a

1:24:51

chamber. So we have much more

1:24:53

precise control over the flow of our

1:24:55

time versus the chamber that we're Well,

1:24:57

would happen if you put a a third chamber in

1:25:00

this chamber? is there an exit here? So

1:25:02

I was just getting to that. The only way

1:25:04

to open the exit doors for safety

1:25:06

reasons is from the control chamber outside. And

1:25:09

I can see from this control panel

1:25:11

that right now we are locked in here.

1:25:13

So even if somebody was like, oh, I

1:25:15

got to go open the door, they so

1:25:17

slowly, they would die before they open

1:25:19

the door. That does seem to be the

1:25:21

situation that we're well, that's not great. However,

1:25:23

there is a way. They're actually the swamp

1:25:26

people in the Bigfoots. That's what I call

1:25:28

them. I call them them the guys in the

1:25:30

Bigfoots. So that's of just what I've been calling them. That's what I

1:25:32

call whatever you want. That's least offensive thing you've

1:25:34

done, just so you get to call them you want.

1:25:36

It's not not take to opinion of you. They

1:25:39

both weirdly have, they've developed this obsession with the key. And I

1:25:41

don't know why Director put the key in here. He

1:25:43

does weird shit in here on Sundays. He's got his

1:25:45

own research going on. That's what I think anyway. That's why

1:25:47

he doesn't want anybody in here. I just came in

1:25:49

to sneak in to do some work, but it seems like

1:25:51

he's running his own experiments off the company records. You

1:25:53

snuck in to do work? Why do you have to

1:25:55

sneak in to do work? Well, I had a lot of work to

1:25:57

catch up on and this is a great place to

1:25:59

catch up on. on. Cuz you a lot of time to do

1:26:01

it. Nazis work is never done. Hey Hey! Hey

1:26:04

Jenkins, you dance You haven't

1:26:06

answered the question about

1:26:08

the third chamber. I I

1:26:11

Don't I think that would be crazy

1:26:13

if someone did that. to

1:26:15

that to file for future Expansion,

1:26:19

okay, That's a great idea. Would you Are

1:26:21

you interested in joining Project Heartland? You

1:26:23

seem like you've a good mind on you.

1:26:25

Hey overtime seems a little bit shitty. Okay,

1:26:27

never mind So how we get out of

1:26:29

here? So weirdly, both of these societies in

1:26:31

their own way, they're actually not that

1:26:33

far off from the truth, which is

1:26:35

that at the top of this chamber

1:26:37

is a flood hatch. That's how we

1:26:39

flood the chamber. It connects to the

1:26:41

peachyville storm system, and at the start of

1:26:43

every simulation it opens up and floods

1:26:45

the area with water. So there really

1:26:47

is a hole at the top of

1:26:50

the sky, and there really is a

1:26:52

drain that corresponds to that hole way

1:26:54

beneath the earth What if we're in

1:26:56

one of the simulations? Have you ever

1:26:58

thought about that? What? So we're

1:27:00

already in the third chamber inside the

1:27:02

chamber. That's where the story of Noah

1:27:04

came from. I've read stories about this.

1:27:06

Noah came from. You guys so we flooding

1:27:08

the chamber they said we can't do that.

1:27:10

They stopped it That's us. and then with

1:27:12

society did enough technology that we've made chambers

1:27:15

our thing. we're still just in a

1:27:17

simulation at any second. -oh. She's chamber tripping.

1:27:19

the first everyone the first time they go

1:27:21

in the chamber. One of these assholes just

1:27:23

flood us at any second. Yeah my

1:27:25

God. The very same thing you said

1:27:27

about the time dilation means won't happen for

1:27:29

millions of years as far as we

1:27:31

can tell Kind of makes we're doing seem

1:27:33

not as bad, No, No, Oh it makes me

1:27:35

worse. to us. No, not how more odd because

1:27:37

somebody something to you, doesn't you face kindergarten.

1:27:41

sky? of How do we get to the sky?

1:27:43

And Jenkins not as big usually That's the question. How do we get to

1:27:45

the sky? Yeah. Or how do we get to the bottom

1:27:47

of the earth? Because that's where the drain

1:27:49

that the flood water goes into oh top or bottom bottom. We go

1:27:51

top or do you want to be a top or do Do you

1:27:53

want to be a bottom? That's the the question I'm asking like

1:27:55

it's I didn't see anything. It feels feels

1:27:57

like it's going to be easier to go down

1:27:59

then does that feel like they haven't figured out flight yet

1:28:01

they haven't figured out flight, it's way way down

1:28:03

there and they haven't figured out the kind

1:28:06

of drilling you would need to either I mean, so show

1:28:08

of these civilizations of these

1:28:10

civilizations have really figured out how

1:28:12

to reach the top or bottom

1:28:14

of the and they're not going

1:28:16

to Question Jenkins. Mm-hmm. Has it in the

1:28:18

past again It's happened in the past

1:28:20

well, how did get there once societies yes I get

1:28:22

they figure out rocket ships. get to the

1:28:24

yeah Yeah, yes but that's my point

1:28:26

right now every society eventually masters

1:28:28

their environment enough to be able to dig

1:28:30

and be able to get up high. You said

1:28:32

it's really far down How far down is it?

1:28:34

It's like if we were to like dig normal human

1:28:36

beings and somehow make peace with both tribes

1:28:38

and have all of us dig together, how long

1:28:41

would take us to get to the thing? The

1:28:43

problem isn't, you're dealing with bedrock. You're dealing

1:28:45

with it's not just soil all the way down.

1:28:47

You need heavy duty machinery. the type of stuff. I

1:28:49

a a that lets me fly. Oh

1:28:51

Oh press one press wall number two Well,

1:28:54

number two, Mole number

1:28:56

two that number? you shit pants.

1:29:02

Nothing happened. Oh,

1:29:05

you know for the one then no I'm

1:29:09

not gonna press another one for a while Why

1:29:13

did he program you to shit? You

1:29:15

need to figure out either up so the problem

1:29:17

is they're not going to evolve this kind

1:29:19

of technology for it could be thousands of years. Yeah,

1:29:21

can't live that long. get it. So what

1:29:24

do you want us to do, Jenkins? And

1:29:26

he points you back to the control

1:29:28

panel. Mm-hmm. He says knob right there hmm the

1:29:30

time dilation in this chain So we

1:29:32

can fast forward this. We can

1:29:34

fast forward thousands of years. Which

1:29:37

budget fast forward? Is there a

1:29:39

bathroom in here? Yes. Oh.

1:29:41

Sounds like someone needs to know where

1:29:44

the facilities are. Maybe if you guys

1:29:46

had it me. I pissed my ass.

1:29:48

Ow! Ow! No! No!

1:29:50

You to do that! I was just

1:29:52

wondering where the bathroom that way. it's a mouth actually we where Jake

1:29:54

is Where do you sleep? Where do I

1:29:56

sleep? Yeah, that's the bathroom. That's

1:30:00

where the goes, baby. We're all over

1:30:02

all over the bed. barracks. You're all going to

1:30:04

smell it if you go whatever. Go wherever Go wherever you

1:30:07

want. I don't care. I don't like I break this thing, prank

1:30:09

time will go forward. So yes, there's this knob,

1:30:11

and it controls the flow of time in this

1:30:13

room versus the chamber that it's in. then there's also

1:30:15

a a clock to let you know, many how many

1:30:17

years and seconds are passing and at what rate. You

1:30:19

guys want to do a little test? We can,

1:30:21

like, make a sign that says, like, we're gods in here. in

1:30:23

here. We We need a big drill. And then

1:30:25

put it out front, and and then fast forward, a

1:30:28

like, a thousand years to see. And just see what happens. don't

1:30:30

understand English, so you're going to see. have to

1:30:32

figure that out. Take Jakes, are just giving problems, or

1:30:34

do you to have a solution? You You just start giving back. Also,

1:30:37

you speak wah -wah -wah. That's true. I do

1:30:39

speak wah -wah -wah. That's great. That's go ahead

1:30:41

and tell them. can go want me to tell

1:30:43

them? do I want you to write that we

1:30:45

need a big drill. Okay. Make a big

1:30:47

drill, and that will make us happy, happy,

1:30:49

and we will give you bountiful food Kelsey? Kelsey?

1:30:51

Yeah. He's not going to write that. Hmm.

1:30:53

It's probably true. do it We can

1:30:55

do Oh, yeah, pictograms. Oh, yeah, There we go. We figured

1:30:58

out how to go fix. They'll be able

1:31:00

to figure out the pictograms. Okay. All draw

1:31:02

that. draw a cool picture We draw a cool

1:31:04

us inside here, shaving two bits. We're gods

1:31:06

will shave your two bits if

1:31:08

you don't give us a us drill. tell me

1:31:10

Don't tell me that's true. Don't tell me that's true. You get a

1:31:12

picture. Francis crosses that. crosses crosses out. out. I

1:31:14

like this. Draw me this image. Hey,

1:31:17

Francis, you're going to draw. your own image.

1:31:19

Here, I got us a pen right here.

1:31:21

not going to use seen to use a paper. I think you

1:31:23

draw terrible at drawing. I think you

1:31:25

would probably be better. be better. No. Hey,

1:31:28

you know want I want to see it. I want to one

1:31:30

who's so keen on see it. idea. Anyway,

1:31:32

here's my pen. here's my pen. No, I didn't think

1:31:34

to have I was going to have Jenkins write it. That's true.

1:31:36

While he's doing that, Kelsey writes the

1:31:38

alphabet and then writing

1:31:40

as many words as possible

1:31:42

and like ideas of grammar syntax. She

1:31:44

writes an encyclopedia. She writes it. Well, that holds. is

1:31:46

more about the language. And And my then

1:31:48

I throw it outside. I fast forward

1:31:51

a thousand years and I check it and then like do

1:31:53

people speak English now? Francis, we

1:31:55

can make them speak English. Here's the

1:31:57

idea. the idea? start don't you start a drawing? I'm like,

1:31:59

what? Why so did the

1:32:01

fast for a thousand years? All right, your

1:32:03

thing sense to you. Well, we'll see what

1:32:05

happens, maybe it worked or not. If

1:32:07

we go fast enough, they will

1:32:09

develop usury. And as a result, interest

1:32:11

bearing accounts. So what we could

1:32:13

do do is eventually our money

1:32:15

in the interest bearing accounts and

1:32:17

become billionaires. There's a commonality between

1:32:20

all of your characters, aren't aren't There's there, for

1:32:22

me? No, no, but

1:32:24

I I understand, but that's actually not a bad

1:32:26

idea. But let's just do this first. Let's right,

1:32:28

not just check if... All right, I my head out. Anybody

1:32:31

speak English? Hey,

1:32:35

shout out into the woods. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

1:32:37

Wait. Hey, out into the world. Wait, how

1:32:39

does that work? If your head's out that timeline

1:32:41

your body's in this timeline, do you come

1:32:43

back and your head is like a million

1:32:45

years old? No, no, no, no, timeline because it's turned

1:32:47

off. Yeah, we can pause. We can right, all

1:32:49

right, let's let's get in that control. What

1:32:51

is the first thing you guys do? The

1:32:53

first thing? you we You to teach them

1:32:55

English? He's drawing a really complicated picture. Kelsey can

1:32:57

quickly draw the alphabet and some basic

1:33:00

grammar ideas, draw a picture of a cat

1:33:02

and play a cat. And I threw that

1:33:04

out there And then I just wanted to

1:33:06

check, Well, you know. Do you trust Jenkins to

1:33:08

help you with this? No, I don't even

1:33:10

know, Jenkins, fuck you. All right, I so

1:33:12

Jenkins knows their language, so it would probably, be

1:33:14

able be able you. I but trust Jenkins. Okay,

1:33:16

all right. Well, Francis drawing. I

1:33:18

fast forward a thousand years. Keep going, Francis, you're doing

1:33:21

a great job. I'm just going to do a a little test

1:33:23

to see what's up. And I open the door

1:33:25

and I lean out and I just scream, Am I out there?

1:33:27

All right, you open the door. Am me out here?

1:33:29

You step outside. Is the book on? first thing's first. It's

1:33:31

the alphabet that I put out gone. So just threw it onto

1:33:33

the ground? Yeah, but I made it it look pretty. Like

1:33:36

somebody pick it up. Like If you saw it,

1:33:38

it of pick it up. No one followed

1:33:40

you here. No one goes into the mountains as

1:33:43

explained because it's spooky. So

1:33:45

no, your book just into dust. Oh, okay. you

1:33:47

look around to see what anything else

1:33:49

that had happened in the thousand pick ago?

1:33:51

it went back, Francis, that was actually that

1:33:54

was useful because here's the little thing we got

1:33:56

to do. We got make sure whatever you

1:33:58

draw. One, weather proof, because mine disappeared into dust. Oh,

1:34:00

we'll make it! it into a paper airplane

1:34:02

and throw it it away where somebody

1:34:04

can reach it. That's the second. maybe

1:34:06

not paper true, but that's the second thing you said absolutely right. should

1:34:08

put it a little bit farther away than where

1:34:10

we are now because it seems like even in 1,000

1:34:12

a thousand years Nobody came this way so

1:34:14

Jenkins. I was wrong your whole shaving

1:34:17