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and Daddies is a rowdy,

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Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies! Not

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a BDSM! What the fuck is

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that? Not a BDSM podcast! You're

5:35

excited about the show! This season,

5:37

season 3, the Peachiville horror! You

5:39

know who you sounded like, is

5:41

that this is gonna be the

5:44

deepest cut for no one, but

5:46

there used to be a show

5:48

called Boston Legal with William Shatter

5:50

and James Spader, and all of

5:52

the little interstitial noises they would

5:54

do between scenes, will be like

5:56

a little guitar, like... And then

5:58

someone go like, oh yeah! I don't

6:00

love that shit. I love what TV

6:02

shows fucking big noises to tell you

6:04

to be excited. It helps me, helps

6:06

me know what I should be doing.

6:08

Can we do one of those during

6:11

the episode today? Yeah. Yeah! Oh, he

6:13

sounded like the guy just ate a

6:15

really good sandwich. He's like, mmm! This

6:17

is the Peacheville. Oh yeah! Sorry, go

6:19

ahead for him. This is the Peacheville

6:21

horror soundboard podcast set in the column

6:23

Kethulu system. This is an actual play

6:26

horror comedy podcast about four everyday schmows

6:28

fighting the forces of darkness in suburban

6:30

1950s. I play deep thinking plumber, Blake,

6:32

lively, more lake. Yeah, we'll see. Last

6:34

episode we learned that Blake is a

6:36

rich man. Now here's the thing. Blake's

6:39

master bedroom. Beth, you'll

6:41

appreciate this particular fact.

6:43

Wait, why? Can I hear it first before I

6:45

decide whether? Despite being a rich man,

6:47

Blick's bed in his master bedroom is,

6:49

in the corner without a bed frame,

6:51

just the mattress on the floor. I

6:53

have a bed frame now, and it's in

6:55

the middle. No, Beth, I would say

6:57

you'd appreciate that because of the general

6:59

quality of guy's bedrooms as shit. Well,

7:02

Beth kind of just told about herself

7:04

a little bit. I did. I'm afraid

7:06

because he thinks that all the bedroom

7:09

Beth goes to or just... We have

7:11

no bed frame and quarter bed at

7:13

home. We have no bed? You know

7:15

I've punched up, Freddie. I'm punching up.

7:18

That's why I go home

7:20

to my bed frameless existence.

7:22

We have no bed frame

7:24

and quarter bed at home.

7:26

But not anymore. I'm really

7:28

moving up in the middle of

7:30

the room now. I'm in the

7:32

middle of the room. No, it's

7:34

a room. How rich are you?

7:37

That's the richest. That's the richest

7:39

in the middle of the room.

7:41

The middle of room rich. It's

7:44

the sort of rich you guys

7:46

might as well. I'm proud to

7:48

say I'm touching only one wall.

7:51

There you go. That's the new

7:53

fact. Blake's bed is a mattress

7:55

in the middle of his large

7:58

room. I like that. a huge

8:00

bed, it's a pretty small room to

8:02

be touching three walls. It depends on how

8:04

huge a bed. That's true. I basically in

8:06

college had a three wall touching. Hey

8:09

everybody, my name is Matthew Arnold, I

8:11

play Kelsey Grammar, Beachyville's Happiest and Snappiest

8:13

School Marm, and you know what she

8:15

always says, a teacher's job is never easy,

8:18

but it could be a louisier if the

8:20

parents did their job a little better. Who

8:22

did she say that too? Do you

8:24

guys go all the fucking centers this

8:26

season? Sorry, sorry. She's been having parent

8:29

teacher conferences. She's just she's just in

8:31

it right now. She's just having tough

8:33

days. So the final sense, which I

8:35

guess is the end of the season,

8:38

the last fact I got. No, I

8:40

remember the first time you did this,

8:42

you started getting into weird like off-brain

8:44

like sort of like powerful senses like

8:47

ear pressure. Maybe I'll do that. But

8:49

touch. So her least favorite feel or

8:51

or touch is pretty common. I think

8:53

for a lot of people is a paper

8:55

cut. Just the feeling of a paper cut.

8:58

It's just extra because it feels like a

9:00

betrayal for her. Just a book cutter. Yeah.

9:02

And then her best again, this is another

9:04

thing the fast that she just loves. A

9:06

weighted blanket. There's nothing better than going home.

9:08

Well, did they have those back then? Did they

9:10

have those back then? They just called you a

9:13

pussy and told you to stop being so anxious.

9:15

You just put books on top of your

9:17

blanket. A blanket of books. There's a

9:19

weighted blanket. There you go. Do you

9:21

think Kelsey dreams of like Scrooge McDucking

9:24

into a pile of books somehow? Yeah,

9:26

absolutely. Absolutely. Quick way to get a

9:28

bunch of paper cuts. Are these fair

9:30

feeling. I'm Anthony Birch. I play Francis

9:32

Francis. Oh, God. Oh, yeah! I

9:34

already hate this. Francis' fact is

9:36

that he loves his dad.

9:39

I feel like that will

9:41

be important to remember as the

9:43

episode goes on. So what? You

9:45

love your dad. Wow. Good for

9:48

you. Oh, I'm sorry, do you

9:50

want me to save all

9:52

of his favorite senses? His

9:55

favorite smells coffee. His favorite

9:57

smells poop. His favorite touches.

10:00

He touches his own butt. His favorite

10:02

taste is chocolate. His least favorite taste

10:04

is shit. His favorite look at? I

10:06

feel like I know him better than

10:08

I have in all 20 episodes. His

10:10

favorite feeling is his own butt. Hold

10:12

on. Hold on. He doesn't like touching

10:14

his own butt. Oh, his least favorite

10:16

feeling. Yeah. I could. I could dive

10:18

in right now. I'm going to step

10:20

back from the edge. I'm going

10:22

to step back. Because I feel

10:25

like that was an Anthony fact.

10:27

I love touching my butt. I

10:29

would never say something that homophobic.

10:31

My name is Beth May.

10:33

Wow! Everyone needs to supply

10:36

their own sound effects. And

10:38

I play Trudy Trout, a robot

10:41

homemaker, mother of one beautiful child.

10:43

to take a little departure from

10:45

the average Trudy fact here, which

10:48

is it tends to be a

10:50

robot or a technology pun.

10:52

I'm just going to explain why

10:55

Trudy stole that wallet from that

10:57

dead man. Ah, here we go. It's

10:59

a perfectly logical and

11:01

reasonable explanation. As all

11:03

reasonable explanations are prefaced by it.

11:05

You're going to hear this and you're

11:08

going to be like, that makes so

11:10

much sense and I'm happy that she

11:12

did it in fact. I can't remember

11:14

what his name is right now, but

11:17

we should honor him, honor him, by

11:19

knowing, acknowledging that he did have a

11:21

name, and that he still has it

11:24

in death. So she stole that man's

11:26

wallet because she saw his Diner's Club

11:28

credit card, this was the first credit

11:30

card, and in knowing that women cannot

11:33

open lines of credit. I was committing

11:35

an act of gender

11:37

liberation and also he had money

11:39

and she wanted it. Good for

11:41

her. Thus making it? Okay. Thus

11:44

making it? Okay. Thus making it?

11:46

Okay, because she saw the money

11:48

and then she'd... And he wasn't using

11:50

it? Yeah, good point. Yes. His

11:52

name was Buddy Betts, by the

11:54

way. Right. Peace. RIP and Peace,

11:56

buddy. Hi, I'm Will. I will.

11:58

Just Will. Just Will. I'm

12:02

just Will and I am just

12:04

the DM of this humble

12:06

podcast and I... have a spooky

12:08

ookie fact for all of you to

12:10

do on your own. Which is foreign

12:12

accent syndrome is a rare condition in

12:14

which an individual develops a persistent foreign

12:16

accent despite not having previously spoken in

12:18

that accident. One of the many ways

12:20

this can be caused is by brutal

12:23

brain slash head trauma. People weighing their

12:25

head really hard say on the ground

12:27

after flying out of a window and

12:29

then wake up with another accent. I

12:31

feel like Freddie is getting a suggestion

12:33

from the audience here. So we'll see,

12:35

you know, maybe we should. I should

12:37

have like roll for a new accent.

12:39

All right, let's kick it off. Let's

12:42

get into this spooky adventure. Let's

12:44

do it. Oh yeah! You guys

12:46

ready to be scared? As long as

12:48

you remind us of where we are

12:50

and what we're doing. Well, I'm so

12:53

glad you suggested that because I've once

12:55

again typed up a little. That's great.

12:57

For all of my favorite people.

13:00

That's great, because I'm my

13:02

Audi right now. I'm so silly.

13:04

After discovering your brother's diary in

13:06

the confiscated document section of the

13:08

project, Harlan Archives Department, you emerged

13:10

at the Peacheyville Public Library to

13:12

discover a grizzly sight. The ex-sanguinated

13:15

remains of buddy bets, drunk, dry,

13:17

and crumpled up like a human

13:19

juice box, the gruesome site caused

13:21

you to break with reality. This

13:23

reality, anyway, suddenly you found yourself

13:25

teaching class in an alternate Peacheville

13:27

where the US lost World War

13:30

I, where the US lost World

13:32

War I, where the US...

13:34

to begin with. Do you

13:36

know, really? You have to

13:38

really fuck that out. Ever

13:41

say, you see these videos

13:43

and it's true. We came

13:45

in and lost it for

13:47

them. We came in

13:49

and lost. That's like

13:52

when I see a couple

13:54

fighting. I'm like, hey, leave

13:56

her alone. It's like, shut

13:59

up. way on urgent business to

14:01

Percicovograt. Where the hell is that? It sounds

14:03

Russian. I don't know. Good news, you've got a

14:05

big fat dossier from the Project Heartland

14:07

Archives loaded with information about the dollmaker

14:09

that just might help you hunt them

14:11

down and harvest their venom to cure

14:13

your comatose sun. There's multiple dollmakers? Oh,

14:15

just the one. I just don't know

14:17

that we defined the gender of the

14:20

dollmaker. Okay. Bad news is that it's

14:22

a thick file and it'll take some

14:24

time to read time that may be

14:26

running out as the hour of the

14:28

whole draw is near. Good news though,

14:30

you'll be driving around town in style

14:32

in your brand new 10 passenger 1950xxx

14:34

bed for dormobile. Bad news? Bad news like

14:36

flew out of it being silly? Bad news

14:38

in a valiant attempt to stop a

14:41

squad of bisons from kidnapping local restaurant

14:43

tour, Tyris Louo, you power drifted your

14:45

new ride into the curb, launched yourself

14:48

out of the window, and launched Blake

14:50

quietly, face first, into the ground, and

14:52

oh, marbles, the cat hates you even more

14:54

now. Blake! Yeah. It's okay. Sleep now, baby

14:57

boy. Sleep and dream. How dare you? Francis!

14:59

Which is it Francis? Do you want

15:01

to exercise Brunhilda the malevolent spirit

15:03

haunting your car 98K rifle? Or

15:05

do you want her help saving

15:07

your friends? We're getting mixed signals

15:09

here. You haven't even so much

15:11

as glanced at the book you

15:13

acquired from the archives on removing

15:15

curses from haunted objects, but you

15:18

did manage to cut a deal

15:20

with Brunhilda to shoot a deal

15:22

with Brunhilda to shoot one tire

15:24

out during your brawl with the

15:26

bison's in exchange for a free

15:28

murder. your own father, who we've

15:30

now canonically established that you

15:33

love underneath. Technically, the fight is

15:35

still going on. Freddie, I have good

15:37

news for you. Yes. So I checked

15:39

the rules, and Blake Lively is in

15:41

fact not dying. Because you never had

15:43

a major wound. And to dying, and

15:45

to die, and to never had a

15:47

major wound. And to dying, Call of

15:49

Kasulu, you need to suffer a major

15:51

wound first. Otherwise, you just go unconscious.

15:54

At which someone can kill you. It was

15:56

the bison's turn because Trudy

15:58

had counterattacked them. with this

16:00

sort of stab move, which means it

16:02

is now, it is now Francis's turn.

16:04

Decisions, Francis. You've now seen your father's

16:06

face as like he sort of spits

16:09

up blood and then collapses onto the

16:11

ground. Where's the van? He's like right

16:13

next to the van. The van is

16:15

not driven away yet. Tyrus is in

16:17

the van with the other two goons.

16:19

Okay. And it's like, yeah, probably seconds

16:21

away from speeding off because he's trying

16:24

to get away from Kelsey. Yeah. Across

16:26

the way, ready to ram into him

16:28

in a moment's time. Francis is going

16:30

to freeze completely. I think he

16:32

just spends his entire turn just

16:34

looking at his dad in utter

16:36

disbelief and is unable to move.

16:38

Dang. Yeah, what's his face look

16:40

like, dude? What's his face look

16:42

like, dude? His face goes from

16:44

confusion to complete blankness. Like he's

16:46

not there anymore. Poor little boy.

16:48

Too much from the handle. He's

16:50

unconscious, he passed out. Idiot. Kelsey

16:52

it's now your turn. Shit talker.

16:54

What I'd like to do is

16:56

just try to stop the van

16:58

from leaving. Are you trying to like

17:01

ram it, knock the engine out, or

17:03

are you just trying to block it

17:05

out from the front? Is there anything

17:07

else around it? Is it like Beth's

17:09

dorm room, like it's touching three walls,

17:12

or is it like Beth's dorm room,

17:14

like it's touching three walls, or is

17:16

it just like Beth's dorm the... front

17:18

like the engine of this. Yeah. Okay.

17:21

Hopefully spin it, break its wheel. Ramming

17:23

the front of it from the front

17:25

is not a pin. I understand. In

17:27

that case, give me a vehicle handling

17:29

rule. A 58 and my vehicle handling is like a

17:32

70 something if you remember it from last

17:34

time. You gun the engine. This guy's trying

17:36

to start the engine and you see him

17:38

and he sees you and then you slam

17:40

straight into the engine of his car with

17:42

the Bedford doormobile. Nice. So now we got

17:44

to see how much damage damage damage damage

17:46

that did. to both the cars. We'll call

17:48

this a severe incident. Okay. You're gunning into

17:50

this other car, right? Yeah, I mean, I'm

17:52

trying to hit my corner of my front

17:54

of the car into their like wheel well.

17:56

We'll call it a moderate incident then. Roll

17:58

me a 1D6. A moderate. is like when

18:00

you have dinner at your parents' house.

18:02

Three. That's gonna be the damage that

18:05

the Bedford dormobial takes. Okay. Which fortunately

18:07

does not bang it up too much

18:09

because this thing's probably got like a...

18:11

Yeah, in 7th edition I think dormobials

18:13

have 42 HP. And you feel this

18:16

for you stat heads out there. A

18:18

Bedford dormobial has a build of 6?

18:20

Wow. So that's about half its HP.

18:22

Okay. It is now impaired. It's pretty

18:24

fucked up, but it's still driveable. The

18:26

goon squad van that you've rammed took a

18:29

full six of damage to you absolutely obliterated

18:31

the engine of this thing. God damn do

18:33

what a trailer moment. You know I was

18:35

gonna be in the trailer for this episode.

18:37

Fucking car crash. I love a TV show

18:39

and the only show a car crash. I should

18:41

have thought of that. That would have been much more

18:43

useful than what I did. The good news is... There's

18:45

more cars across the street. No, you don't need to

18:47

another one. You're good, Trudy. It is now, Tyres's

18:49

turn, the van got jostled. The two guys are

18:51

in there. They've all gotten kind of knocked around.

18:54

So he's gonna make a break for it. So

18:56

we're gonna give him a strength roll with advantage

18:58

to bust out of here, which he fails, unfortunately.

19:00

He runs for the door and they grab him

19:02

but pull him back in. The guy's trying to

19:04

start the engine and realizing that they're realizing that

19:06

they're realizing that they're realizing that they're realizing that

19:08

they're realizing that they're realizing that they're realizing that

19:11

they're realizing that they're realizing that they're realizing that

19:13

they're It's Milton and Bibi's turn. The dream team.

19:15

The dream team. Milton and Bibi are just gonna

19:17

spend their turn running back over

19:20

here seeing their comrade Blake Lively

19:22

down for the count. They'll be

19:24

able to move next turn. Trudie is

19:26

now your turn. Blake has like a

19:28

head wound. Blake has like a head

19:31

wound. Blake has like a head wound.

19:33

Blake has like a unresponsive

19:35

and lightly twitching. Blake has

19:37

like a head wound. Blake

19:39

is unresponsive to stabilize. That

19:41

makes sense. Well, I'll rule first aid

19:43

then, and I'll take like my apron

19:45

off and put it under Blake's head.

19:48

What's your first aid? It's only

19:50

35. That's about right for taking

19:52

off an apron and wrapping it

19:54

around someone's head. I fail. I got 74.

19:56

How do you fail? Bad not. But

19:58

just doesn't do anything. Yeah, because you're

20:00

still, well, you know, you're more comfortable.

20:03

Ah, yes, but you're still unconscious. It

20:05

didn't change the function. Yes, but you're

20:07

slightly less likely to go into shock

20:09

now. Oh, excellent. Would you like to

20:11

do anything else? You can move, that'll

20:13

count as your action, but you can

20:16

move somewhere if you'd like. So real

20:18

quickly move away from them. Well, hold

20:20

on, yeah, we've killed out their vehicle,

20:22

right? Yes. So it's right or die

20:24

different outcome. Not when there's a father

20:27

here now, maybe you can talk it

20:29

out. He's unconscious. Okay. And how many

20:31

other people are outside of the car? All of

20:33

them are in the car other than the

20:35

guy you just stabbed. Two of them

20:37

are probably going to be coming out

20:39

pretty soon to just, they're stuck in

20:42

here now. They're feeling like this is

20:44

going very badly for them. Well, I

20:46

mean, I think that would be advantageous

20:48

if they came out because then that would

20:50

be one less person watching Tyrus.

20:52

That's true. Your leader is hurt. Don't

20:54

you want to come see if he's okay?

20:56

Okay, I like that. We'll get to

20:58

their response on their turn. Blake, it

21:01

is your turn, but you're unconscious. What

21:03

are my gameplay options in this fun

21:05

environment I find myself in? In this

21:07

little theater of the mind prison. You

21:09

know what? Give me a brain doing

21:12

anything. Is he thinking in there? He's

21:14

very deep thinker. and now I'm in

21:16

deep sleep. So the thought is this

21:18

episode in the first season of the

21:20

award-winning Spartacus, where the main character is

21:23

just asleep the whole episode because he's

21:25

really hurt. And in that episode, he

21:27

just thinks about like everything that's happened

21:29

in the season and he figures out

21:31

the mystery. Is that like a clip show? No, it's

21:33

not clip show. It's actually a pretty

21:36

cool idea, but it's like he wakes

21:38

up, he's like, oh shit. That's the

21:40

guy. Oh, so I was saying, you

21:42

know, can he be thinking? This is

21:45

going to represent whether Blake is able

21:47

to jumpstart his own mind right now.

21:49

Oh, yeah. I'm going to give you

21:51

a math problem and you're going to

21:54

do it in your head. I'm going

21:56

to give you, we'll say, one minute.

21:58

Okay. 43 times

22:00

17. 14, 40

22:04

times

22:06

17,

22:08

683

22:10

times

22:13

17

22:15

is

22:17

34.

22:19

3

22:21

times

22:23

17

22:25

21

22:28

51

22:30

right so 51 plus what

22:32

was the shit was he

22:34

if it was the first

22:36

ever I had 680 I

22:38

think yeah 680 plus 51

22:41

is 731. You got it!

22:43

16 seconds to spare! Wow!

22:45

Blake lately springs back to

22:47

life with one HP! You're

22:49

back baby! With one HP!

22:51

You're back baby! With one

22:53

HP! With one HP! I'm

22:55

very impressed by the mask.

22:57

All right, what are you

22:59

gonna do hot shot? Ow! That's

23:01

the first thing I'm gonna do.

23:04

Okay, Blake jumps awake with a

23:06

big owl. Now that here's a question. How

23:08

many more bullets do I have in my

23:11

gun? Oh forgot you had a gun. Yeah.

23:13

Are you still holding on to it? Yeah,

23:15

dude. How many bullets? In a 1911, that

23:17

would be 8 plus 1 will. 8 plus

23:19

145 ACP rounds. You have 8. Totally keep

23:22

one in the chamber. Tony would have loaded

23:24

it up as much as he could have.

23:26

Okay. But shot once. Yes, you have eight

23:28

bullets left. Who's closest to me? Everyone that

23:31

is alive is in the car right now.

23:33

I'm a little dazed. I'm a little bit

23:35

of, I'm sort of literally seeing that everyone's

23:37

in the car and they're trying to

23:39

get away? What are they trying to

23:41

do with the car? One of them

23:43

was frantically trying to start the car

23:45

to no avail because the car's been

23:47

blown to smithereens. Other guys are freaking

23:49

out here. So just like Tom Hanks

23:51

and Saving Private Ryan when he's like

23:53

shooting at the tank, I want to

23:55

sit there and just like, eww, like

23:58

raise the gun. It just like pluck.

24:00

Don't get their car, do you know what I

24:02

mean? Okay, do you remember that? Okay, yes I do

24:04

remember that. But I want me aiming at the people

24:06

in the car. Oh yeah, we assume that. One of

24:08

them is the guy you're trying to save. Tire is

24:10

in there. Blake, I think you should really stay

24:12

down. Shut up, Trudee! Well there's a

24:14

lot of people in the car. There

24:17

are, one of them is someone you're

24:19

trying not to kill. Hey baby! All

24:21

right. Roll the dice. Roll the dice.

24:23

Roll the dice, baby. You're not looking

24:25

in the car. You're just firing at

24:28

the car. Let me pull up the

24:30

scene from Saving Private Rider. Here, let

24:32

me just get on the YouTube. Tall,

24:34

Tom! Shooting at a tank! movieclips.com. Tom

24:36

Hanks shooting at a tank is sort

24:39

of like me trying to convince Freddie

24:41

not to do something stupid. A lot

24:43

of jerky Germans because they shot

24:45

at a high under prank. It's

24:47

a rich jerky Germans. Tom Hanks.

24:49

Not looking good. Not looking good. He's

24:51

back to a motorcycle. He's got

24:53

his 1911. Just like flakes. He

24:55

does not see anyone. He's just shooting

24:58

at the... No, but his eyes

25:00

are open, dude. Clear eyes. Clear

25:02

eyes. No, what is watching Tom

25:04

Hanks do this? We all understood what

25:06

you're doing. I just wanted to

25:08

revisit one of the great comic

25:10

performances. You just wanted to watch a

25:12

fun movie right now. I don't think

25:15

Will was questioning what you're doing. He

25:17

was just clarifying that that is for

25:19

sure what you want to do. Because

25:21

there's the person we're trying to save

25:23

inside. So here's what we're going to

25:25

do. The car provides two points of.

25:27

armor for the people inside. So the

25:29

first thing you're going to do is

25:31

you're just taking a shot on this

25:33

car is roll the damage roll for

25:35

me for a cult 45 that is

25:38

1D10 plus 2. Fuck yeah what a powerful

25:40

weapon as it should be dangerous everyone.

25:42

1D10 guns are dangerous. 2 plus 2

25:44

4! That's an easy math problem. 2

25:46

plus 2. Try to think of how

25:48

to do this thing randomly hitting someone.

25:50

We'll give everyone a number. Roll a

25:52

D6. Roll a D6. Oh, a D6.

25:54

That's good. Because there's four in the

25:56

car. One in six will be nobody.

25:58

Tyrus is going to be. five and then

26:00

the other three are gonna be two or four.

26:02

I just feel like I'm rolling a five. Does

26:05

you ever get that feeling before we roll a

26:07

dice? You're just like, I know that a five

26:09

is coming. All right, roll the bones, Frank. I'm

26:11

rolling a one. Three! Three! One of the guys

26:14

was already injured, the guy who shot the first

26:16

time, and so you hit him again. So he

26:18

is looking really bad. It's like basically you shot

26:20

him in the leg and now he's got a

26:23

bullet in his other leg. Life finds a way.

26:25

He screams. Trudy was like your leaders outside and

26:27

you hear one of them, wait, wait, wait, wait,

26:29

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

26:31

wait, wait, wait, wait, just wait.

26:33

Okay, we're waiting. And then you hear

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29:28

Warby parker.com. He says,

29:30

I've got your guy! Okay? I

29:32

don't know who that is. Tell

29:34

him who you are. It's me,

29:37

Tyris. I'm just, I'm just the

29:39

guy who owns this restaurant. Please,

29:41

I don't know what's going on.

29:44

Can you just please let me

29:46

out here? Shut up! And he

29:48

whips him on the head with

29:51

his pistol. Tyris, you are between

29:53

me and a purp. Who the

29:55

fuck is this? Who's this? Who

29:58

is this? Who is this? Well,

30:00

why don't you come get your guy? No! No,

30:02

he's right up here. I have another deal for

30:04

you, courtesy of Samuel Colt. I wrote down the

30:06

windows, I feel like I'm on the other side,

30:08

and I go, hey, roll down your window. No!

30:11

What? Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear

30:13

you. Oh, okay. I don't want you to know

30:15

what's going on in here. Well, you only, look,

30:17

we're freaked out. Just get out here. Just get

30:20

out here. Yeah, we just, we just want the

30:22

man. Yeah, we just want the man. We just

30:24

want the man. We're gonna give you the guy,

30:26

you gotta give us our guy. Okay. No, you

30:29

can trust us. Who said no? So Francis just

30:31

coming into like full consciousness of what the situation

30:33

is, knowing that your guy is referring to his

30:35

dad, just says no, if he can see somebody

30:37

through the windshield or wherever he is in relation

30:40

to the car, he's gonna aim his gun

30:42

at somebody who's not his dad, but is

30:44

one of the best. Francis, your shot with

30:46

mine. Wait, wait, you too, Francis, Francis, what's

30:48

what's what's going on, what's going on, what's

30:50

going on, what's going on, what's going on,

30:52

what's going on, what's going on, what's going on?

30:54

Oh, that is your father? Your injured

30:56

father? Lying unconscious on the ground?

30:59

And you promised me I could shoot

31:01

one of the people that was dead

31:03

at the end of this? Give me

31:06

a willpower role. You're gonna have to

31:08

make a hard role for this. Oh,

31:10

I got a five. Oh, wow. Okay,

31:12

great. You see her arms wrap around

31:15

you and try to whip this gun

31:17

towards your father, but you're able, despite

31:19

having promised her this kill, to Stonewaller

31:22

and keep the gun. Not right now,

31:24

bitch. You promised me to kill Francis.

31:26

You promised me. Be patient, Jesus. We

31:29

still might kill my dad. Francis, you

31:31

may want to go with them. I'm

31:33

aware, that's why I'm saying he can't

31:35

go. Excuse me, sir, in the car? Yeah.

31:38

So, that's his son. You're looking at

31:40

him. Is that Francis? That's Francis?

31:42

It's a complicated situation. Is it

31:44

Miss Grammer? I'm sure I teach your kids.

31:46

There's no childless people in this town. No,

31:48

I'm not one of your kids. So look,

31:50

why don't you just give up Tyras? No,

31:52

I don't think so. I feel like Tyras

31:54

is the only... We're not going to go

31:56

around murdering our guys for like a week!

31:58

Frasier than going to shoot it. the nearest

32:00

guy, he's tired of talking. And I

32:02

believe the range they are at makes

32:04

it point blank. That's a thick heavy

32:06

round, bro, the car 90. Give me

32:09

another hard willpower roll. That glass is

32:11

gonna fucking go red. with 96 very

32:13

much the opposite of my last run.

32:15

Oh no! A fumble! A fumble! In

32:17

Fumbo! You're like in an arm wrestling

32:19

match with Bernhilda for control of this

32:21

gun. And then when you decide to

32:24

shoot this guy, to focus your on

32:26

aiming, you relax your resistance to her

32:28

for just a second, and the gun

32:30

snaps to now you're now aiming at

32:32

your father. And she said, I said,

32:34

I want my kill, Francis. I don't

32:36

want to fuck off those shitty guys

32:39

in the car. I want him. I

32:41

want to make you suffer Francis. I

32:43

want to taste pain. You can feel

32:45

your finger curling around the trigger as

32:47

you're staring down the barrel. The iron

32:49

sites are pointed right at your father.

32:51

Big old open sight picture on that

32:54

one too, dog. I still got my

32:56

gun out. You guys all see Francis,

32:58

focus, focus. I'm trying. It's not me,

33:00

it's a gun, it's from Hilda, from

33:02

Hilda. What? Did I not tell you

33:04

about this, but don't, yeah, my gun

33:06

talks to me. Look, we don't want

33:09

anybody else to die. We have a

33:11

crazy child out here. That's a good

33:13

point, it got his dad? Yes, there's

33:15

no telling what I might do. We

33:17

are willing to execute a hostage. Are

33:19

you willing to do the same? No,

33:21

don't say that. We don't want to

33:24

say that. in a war where we're

33:26

in Peacheville. We are in a war.

33:28

We are in a war for our

33:30

survival. Shots and blows have been exchanged.

33:32

And I think it should probably end

33:34

here. Let's just talk. Bring out your

33:36

guy. Oh, so you hear this hushed

33:39

whispering inside the cottage. We have you

33:41

surrounded with two guns. All right. Here's

33:43

what we're gonna do. Okay. We're gonna

33:45

come out with our guy. And we're

33:47

gonna walk away. You can keep head.

33:49

We're gonna walk away, but you try

33:51

anything. This guy's brains are getting blown

33:54

all over his restaurant, okay? I mean

33:56

it. Why are you taking him? When

33:58

you're walking, where you're taking him? Yes,

34:00

we're taking them. We get the whole

34:02

reason we came. It was again. Why?

34:04

Why? I'm not telling you shit. Tyros,

34:06

Tyros, do you want to go with

34:09

them? You can't get me that easy.

34:11

I don't, I just, I don't, I

34:13

don't, you just see, Tyros is just

34:15

like, oh God, don't, don't, don't, don't,

34:17

don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,

34:19

don't, take me, don't, don't, don't, don't,

34:21

don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, take me,

34:24

take me, take me, take me, take

34:26

me, take me, take me, take me,

34:28

take me, take me, take me, take

34:30

me, take me, take me, take me,

34:32

take me, take me, take me, take

34:34

me, take me, take me, take me,

34:36

take me, take me, take me, take,

34:39

take Therefore, they must believe that I...

34:41

This man's probably on the fucking registry

34:43

for the potential seeds. Yeah, well, we

34:45

could have, we could have exchanged him.

34:47

We can eliminate him and take a

34:49

tool away from our enemy. I'm also

34:51

one of the potential seeds, so I

34:53

don't really want to set that precedent.

34:56

Oh, it's that, and Blake, this man

34:58

is just a restaurant owner. He's an

35:00

innocent man. This man gave me food

35:02

poisoning. One year ago to the day?

35:04

Oh, you didn't die, play. The day

35:06

of the running toilet. Okay, I want

35:08

to try to do a persuade roll.

35:11

Okay. I'm going to say, look, Eric,

35:13

calm down for one second. This is

35:15

the situation, and I wish it wasn't

35:17

this, but it's very simple. You have

35:19

a war veteran who's itching to kill

35:21

somebody and a child who's willing to

35:23

kill his father. So I think these

35:26

are the two options. Either, the guns

35:28

go off. And a lot of you're

35:30

going to die. It's not going to

35:32

be me. I'm in the car over

35:34

here. So I'm just letting you know.

35:36

A lot of you will die. Or

35:38

you leave tires alone, and you walk

35:41

off, and you fight another day. Those

35:43

are the two options. If you say

35:45

no to that, they're going to start

35:47

shooting. There's nothing I can do about

35:49

it. Give me a persuade roll. I

35:51

got a 55, and my persuade is

35:53

55. So you hear again more angry

35:56

shouting inside. All right, we're coming out.

35:58

Okay. Miss Kramer. Yes, I do. You

36:00

knew me. You know my kid? I'm

36:02

not going to say who my kid

36:04

is. Okay, but I know you don't

36:06

want them to be an orphan. No,

36:08

I don't. Well, some of them. And

36:11

we had a parent-teacher conference last week.

36:13

Oh, that narrows down that. It went

36:15

very well. I thought, I said good

36:17

things about you to the principal. So

36:19

just keep that in mind. If you

36:21

try any funny business. Are you going

36:23

to rescind your? OK. The nice thing

36:26

you said. You can't rescind stuff when

36:28

you're dead. Not the principal. Sh. You

36:30

see the door crack open. OK, just

36:32

leave Tyrus in there. We're going to

36:34

come out with tires. Okay. We're going

36:36

to walk to the end of the

36:38

block. Okay. With him. Okay. And then

36:41

we're going to round the corner and

36:43

we're going to go. What point do

36:45

you let go with tires? At the

36:47

corner. Okay. Before you round the corner.

36:49

Before we round the corner. Before we

36:51

round the corner, we let go with

36:53

tires. Okay. Before we round the corner.

36:56

Before we round the corner, we let

36:58

go on the corner. Before we round

37:00

the corner. We let go on the

37:02

corner. We let go on the corner.

37:04

We let go on. We let go

37:06

on the corner. We let go on

37:08

the corner. We let go on the

37:11

corner. We let go on the corner.

37:13

We let go on. We let go

37:15

on. We let go on the corner.

37:17

We let go on. We let go

37:19

on. We let go on. We let

37:21

go on. We let go on. We

37:23

let go. We let go. We. We

37:26

let go. We let go. We. We.

37:28

We It was last week, it went

37:30

well, and I can tell the size

37:32

of the person. I want, like, what

37:34

would I rule to be like? I

37:36

think I should be able to narrow

37:38

this person down in the voice. I

37:41

love that. History, knowledge, like, what's so

37:43

funny. I feel like you can make

37:45

an argument for it being a no

37:47

role or an evil. And it's like,

37:49

it's like a no. Yeah, like general

37:51

intelligence. I'm like just figuring it out.

37:53

Because I want to know who it

37:56

is. So I got a 71 and

37:58

I have 70s so I lost one

38:00

luck and down a 47 luck. All

38:02

right, you tell me who it is,

38:04

ma'am. Damn you. What? What? Is that?

38:06

Is that? Are you going to say

38:08

it? You can let him know that

38:11

you know? Hmm. I know who that

38:13

is. You know what? He's a really

38:15

funny name, but I don't want to

38:17

say it out a lot right now.

38:19

I don't know who that is. She

38:21

knows who that is. So if you

38:23

guys, you know, do something any funny

38:26

business. They are backing away. Mm-hmm. So

38:28

they're outside the van? Yeah. Yes, they're

38:30

outside the van. You deal, motherfakers? I

38:32

knew it! I fucking knew! Leave the

38:34

man here or all of you die

38:36

on the spot! I have more than

38:38

enough bullets to end all of you.

38:41

Your entire family line is over. They

38:43

have guns too, right? You're not thinking

38:45

clearly. But they have guns too, right?

38:47

Yes, they do. Yes, they do. One

38:49

of them has a gun. One of

38:51

them has a gun. The other two

38:53

guys have brass knuckles. Not a lot

38:56

of them held. The brass knuckles from

38:58

over there. You're pointing out. I have

39:00

a gun. Because he's coming out of

39:02

this car, he has a human shield,

39:04

you're bloodied and dazed on the ground.

39:06

He's as likely to shoot you as

39:08

the other way around. So yes, to

39:11

paint the picture, they're all lined up

39:13

behind tires. One of them is carrying

39:15

the guy with two hit points, the

39:17

guy you shot twice now, who's bleeding

39:19

badly. Ask him? No, a gun works.

39:21

And he's got a little better than

39:23

yours. Give me a roll with a

39:26

penalty dice. With a penalty diceice. Here's

39:28

what it is. After my head injury,

39:30

I'm seeing double and they look over

39:32

at me and I'm just pointing at

39:34

the double, which is just like 40

39:36

feet to the right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:38

He's like, okay. Drop it to Buster.

39:41

Yeah, right. They start backing up. While

39:43

they are doing that, Francis is just

39:45

pointing this gun in his father. I'm

39:47

just putting that up. He's about to

39:49

make a roll. Trudy is going to...

39:51

Yeah step in front of Ed. Oh,

39:53

okay. Oh, you're just gonna step in

39:56

front. Oh, Pepsi. Like Pepsi? Like Pepsi?

39:58

Like Pepsi? Like Pepsi? What? Pepsi can

40:00

be a Pepsi and it's gonna end

40:02

racism. Exactly like that. So you step

40:04

in front of Francis. I'm in front

40:06

of Ed because Ed's closest to me.

40:08

Okay. But I can't shoot Ed without

40:11

shooting you as well. Yes. Oh, to

40:13

Favan. Very interesting. Very interesting. Very interesting.

40:15

I think that one, did you... that

40:17

Brunhilda wants innocent blood? Yes! I'm not

40:19

innocent. I stole that man's wallet. I

40:21

stole it? She seems pretty innocent to

40:23

me. I stole it. I left my

40:25

family. I left my family. I left

40:28

my family. I left my son. She

40:30

murdered her husband. He was like basically

40:32

completely inert and she could have let

40:34

him live, but she killed him. Yes,

40:36

yes. And plus, who knows? If you

40:38

shoot me, it probably won't even get

40:40

to Ed. He'll probably be fine. Yeah,

40:43

she's made out of metal. Francis, do

40:45

you want to get rid of that

40:47

gun? I can't. My hands are tight

40:49

and around it. I can't let go

40:51

of it. But you want to, right?

40:53

Of course. Kind of. Brunhill is like,

40:55

hmm. I'm going to. I'm going to.

40:58

I'm going to. I'm going to take

41:00

it. I'm going to take my chances.

41:02

I got a 36 and my willpower

41:04

is 14. Ooh, okay, just barely. While

41:06

you guys are doing this, you see

41:08

the bisons disappear around the corner and

41:10

true to their word, they leave Tyris

41:13

behind. Oh, Tyris, go ahead. Oh, Tyris,

41:15

you want to come with us or

41:17

you want to just run home? He

41:19

runs over to you guys. Oh my

41:21

God, thank you so much. Thank you

41:23

so much. Look, free food for life.

41:25

All of you, seriously. All of you.

41:28

Seriously. You owe me a refund. I'm

41:30

sorry, who are you? I was the,

41:32

well, my butler came and got me

41:34

a Chinese feast, a succulent Chinese meal.

41:36

And now I had food poisoning. Oh,

41:38

I couldn't have been for my restaurant.

41:40

It was the only food I had

41:43

eaten. I don't believe you. I don't

41:45

think that that's real. But regardless, I,

41:47

you know... Are you, are you good

41:49

staying here though? It sounds like a...

41:51

I don't know, who are, who are

41:53

you know, who are you, who are,

41:55

who are, who are, who are, who

41:58

are, who are, who are, who are,

42:00

who are, who are, who are, who

42:02

are, who are, who are, who are,

42:04

who are, who are, who are, who

42:06

are, who are, who are, who are,

42:08

who are, who are, who are, who

42:10

are, who are, who are, who are,

42:13

who are, who are, who are, who

42:15

are, who are, who are, She shows

42:17

you and you see his name on

42:19

this list of seat candidates under your

42:21

own. It's under Francis's? Yeah, well it's

42:23

just a list of names. I'm just

42:25

curious. If they're going in order, or

42:28

if it's just a random, like, whoever

42:30

is on the list. Is it an

42:32

ordered list or no discernible? So you're

42:34

saying is this like an alphabetical Iraq

42:36

war deck of cards. Is it priority

42:38

like who's got the best swimmer's list?

42:40

There's the best seed. Most eligible seed

42:43

candidates. America's next top seed candidate. Draw

42:45

whichever conclusions you wish from it. Okay,

42:47

Mr. Mr. Louo. I feel like you

42:49

probably shouldn't stay at your restaurant. It's

42:51

hard to explain everything, but those men.

42:53

Also, they're very dangerous. They want, she

42:55

looks at Francis and kind of leans

42:58

in whispers, you're seaman. Yeah, I know,

43:00

I know, it's a lot. All the

43:02

more reason you don't want to be

43:04

here, right? Yeah, I guess. Do you

43:06

have any family in a different town?

43:08

I mean, no, I'm out here by

43:10

myself. I, uh, I'm trying to hopefully,

43:13

you know, open to start a family

43:15

out here. It's kind of my dreamt.

43:17

Just for your own safety, I would

43:19

leave. Just for your own safety, I

43:21

would leave. I would leave. Just for

43:23

your own safety, I would leave. I

43:25

would leave. Because we can't protect you.

43:28

We can't like, okay. And the cops

43:30

are in on all this. You're not

43:32

going on. You're right. Hey, and Kelsey,

43:34

thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And

43:36

I gotta say, your food's never gonna

43:38

be food poisoning. I think Blake's just

43:40

having a, yeah, I don't know why.

43:43

You sure don't have me allergies or

43:45

anything like that? I just, I've never

43:47

had complaints about this. Maybe want to

43:49

get back at you for something. No,

43:51

I saved his life He is my

43:53

closest friend and ally and potential other

43:55

character I might play So that would

43:58

be a really big shame if he

44:00

didn't like you and wanted to hurt

44:02

you so he and I are cool

44:04

as hell Okay, are you sure I

44:06

can't get you guys some food Alfred

44:08

try and do anything bad to mastaway?

44:10

No, no, yeah, we'll take some food.

44:13

Okay. All right. Well. I'll just load

44:15

you guys up So he prepares just

44:17

a succulent Chinese meal for you. Be

44:19

enough for 10. Get him off my

44:21

penis. Yeah, for 10, great, yeah. Oh,

44:23

hands off my penis! He just runs

44:25

into the back and throws some stuff

44:28

together and gives it to you. He

44:30

is going to get the fuck out

44:32

of town for your suggestion, Kelsey. Cool.

44:34

Hey, wait a minute. We told him

44:36

we can't protect people. Maybe we should

44:38

tell our families, et cetera, to also,

44:40

like, just get out of town. Oh,

44:43

it's not a bad idea, actually. Well,

44:45

let's go get them first. Okay. When

44:47

you guys turn around, Francis is sitting

44:49

criss-crossed-cross apple sauce-cross apple sauce in front

44:51

of his dad. And he is staring

44:53

at his dad's unconscious form and silently

44:55

loading shells into Brunhilda. Pretty common thing,

44:58

you sign up for something, you forget

45:00

about it, then you get a trial

45:02

period ends, and then they hit you

45:04

with that charge. Guys, hear me out,

45:06

sorry to interrupt. Space bank. Space bank.

45:08

It's a bank in space, and you

45:10

send your money to space. What bad

45:13

guy's gonna rob a space bank? Maybe

45:15

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45:17

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45:19

them, but I got a hand to

45:21

them, they're a family. 85% of people.

45:23

Have at least one paid subscription going

45:25

unused each month. Who do you think

45:28

it is on the Guardian's crew? You

45:30

think it's track? You're supposed to cancel

45:32

your weapon subscription. I'm dealing with a

45:34

bunch of knuckleheads on this ship. With

45:36

Rocket Money, you and the Guardians of

45:38

the Galaxy can see all of your

45:40

subscriptions in one place. Cancel the ones

45:43

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45:45

you've got a weapon subscription too? Why

45:47

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45:49

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45:51

subscriptions, monitors your spending. Wait, Rocky Rackoon,

45:53

you've got ones, they're all just into

45:55

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45:58

in fairness, Gamore is defined entirely by

46:00

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46:02

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46:04

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47:03

details. Hey this is Paige from Gagli

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nordstrom.com. Oh,

47:35

Tyras, really quick. Yeah? Do you have like

47:37

a padlock? A padlock? Yeah, I mean, you

47:39

have a right, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. And

47:41

he's like one of those shudder things that

47:44

closes up the restaurant. So yes, he gets

47:46

a pad, like, what do you need a

47:48

padlock for? Can I have it? Okay, yeah,

47:50

I mean, sure, you say my life, here

47:52

you go. Yeah, I have the key. I

47:54

want to put the padlock through the trigger

47:57

guard. Francis, what is he doing? What is

47:59

he doing? If you don't want me to

48:01

do what I'm about to do, then we'll

48:03

fix it. But I think if I tell

48:05

you, whatever is happening, we'll stop it. And

48:08

I quickly try to grab the gun and

48:10

put the... Look at my funny face that

48:12

I'm making. I feel like if I saw

48:14

you coming, I would like, again, still staring

48:16

at my dad, I like raise the gun

48:18

up and pointed upward at you. Okay, like

48:21

a back off lady, kind of lady kind

48:23

of thing. Oh, kind of lady kind of

48:25

thing. You continue to look at something and

48:27

turn your head until the very last second

48:29

when your eyes move from his dad to

48:32

you and he looks you dead in the

48:34

eyes and there's just like nothing there. It's

48:36

like a void. I'm gonna signal to truly,

48:38

you gotta grab the gun so I'm pointing

48:40

out pointing at me. This is all I'm

48:43

signaling. It's just women's intuition between us. I

48:45

just love knocked. Of course. I want to

48:47

try to make it so that you hold

48:49

the gun in a way. That's not pointing

48:51

anybody while I quickly padlock. Well I quickly

48:53

padlock it. 34 out of 55. What would

48:56

I oppose with psychology because like I know

48:58

yes give me a psychology right perfect I

49:00

have an 80 psychology and I rolled a

49:02

46 okay so it's a normal success ooh

49:04

the same in order to keep the gun

49:07

pointed at you I think Francis is in

49:09

a space where he's so pissed and like

49:11

dissociating that he wants to deal with his

49:13

dad in his own particular way and doesn't

49:15

want to be interrupted. Okay so you're pointing

49:17

the gun at Kelsey right now. Francis you

49:20

hear in your head, what's she doing with

49:22

the set lock? What is she trying to

49:24

do? You better tell her to back off,

49:26

little man. Is it going to work? Tell

49:28

her to back off or I start shooting.

49:31

Yeah? Hmm. So Francis's face softens a little

49:33

bit and he looks up at Kelsey and

49:35

is like, she seems pretty scared about you

49:37

putting the lock down. Make a hard willpower

49:39

roll. My pal is a 40, I got

49:42

a 10. You feel Brunhilda, who's starting to

49:44

get scared, because yes, this is going to

49:46

work, because she needs you to pull the

49:48

trigger of the gun in order for it

49:50

to go off. You once again feel your

49:52

finger curled tight around the trigger, but you're

49:55

able to just hold her back just barely.

49:57

So now, give me a slight of hand

49:59

roll for putting this. I'm not trying to

50:01

be sneaky with it. Can I do a

50:03

forceful? Sure, yeah, in that case, give me

50:06

a strength role to gain control of the

50:08

gun. Okay, great. A

50:11

one. You know what? All right, you

50:13

look at the movies, when the guy's

50:15

like, you're not going to shoot me,

50:18

he walks up and he just snatches

50:20

the gun out of the guy's hand,

50:22

you wrenched Brunhilda out of his hands

50:24

and slap this lock around the gun.

50:26

And with a one, dude, you see

50:29

me, like, push the barrel away, and

50:31

slap this lock around the gun, and

50:33

with a one, dude. It's like, you

50:35

see me, the lock, just on the

50:37

lock. I love them. I love them.

50:39

I love them. I love them. They

50:42

go really fast and they stop to

50:44

really stare at one part and then

50:46

they're fast again. I love it. To

50:48

clarify, the bad luck is a big

50:50

piece of metal that's just behind the

50:53

trigger. To change the trigger for being

50:55

able to pull all the way back.

50:57

So what I would like to do

50:59

is stand up, throw Brunhilda to the

51:01

side, and walk over to my dad.

51:04

Okay. And try to slap him awake,

51:06

basically. Okay. Step back and let the

51:08

family. Should we take the gun? I

51:10

think it's on his back already. Is

51:12

it just back on him? Right? Doesn't

51:15

it a more back? You got it

51:17

for now. It has a more back.

51:19

Because you've got a good grip on

51:21

it. Francis' dad is dying, just so

51:23

you guys are clear. He's bleeding. Francis'

51:26

dad is dying, just so you guys

51:28

are clear. He is bleeding out of

51:30

blood pouring out of his stomach as

51:32

well. I want really quickly I give

51:34

Trudy the key to the padlock. Okay.

51:37

Just, you know, eat this or consume,

51:39

you know, hide it in robot button.

51:41

Well, just so nobody can get it,

51:43

but maybe we need it at some

51:45

point. I'm just saying, you do whatever

51:48

you want to do with it. You

51:50

hold on to it. Okay. And I

51:52

eat it. Like the sewing needle. Yep.

51:54

Team, what are we going to do?

51:56

About Francis, Dad, should we tie the

51:59

dad up? No. First you have to

52:01

healing. Blake won't be needing this apron

52:03

anymore so we can put it under

52:05

Ed's head. At that point, BB comes

52:07

up and it's like, Francis, stand back.

52:10

I think I can help. I have

52:12

a first aid field dressing merit badge

52:14

for my time in the Scouts before

52:16

they kick me out. Just stand back

52:18

and I think I can get them

52:21

stabilized and then maybe we can get

52:23

them to a hospital or something like

52:25

that, right? Yeah, and scouts are hardcore

52:27

back then. They went to war war

52:29

two. Francis steps back. We know the

52:32

cops are kind of in on this,

52:34

but we don't know about the doctors,

52:36

right? Dr. Mann was. Oh yeah. Doctor,

52:38

fuck dude. Can we trust the doctors

52:40

in this town? So BB has a

52:43

75 in a first case. She's a

52:45

doctor. She's a scout, dude. She knows

52:47

what you're doing. So we are gonna

52:49

give her a role. That's better than

52:51

a lot of doctors nowadays, too, shit.

52:53

She got an 88. Oh, so... Baby,

52:56

you gotta use some luck. Oh, oh,

52:58

oh, no, this is bad. You know,

53:00

I mostly just learned how to treat

53:02

like sprained angles and stuff like that.

53:04

This is pretty far beyond me. I

53:07

think we need to get him somewhere

53:09

now. We need to go to a

53:11

hospital or something. That is a lot

53:13

of blood. Okay, well, we have a

53:15

van. Okay, yeah, let's take him. You

53:18

guys are the adults. I'm just a

53:20

12 year old. What do you think

53:22

we should do? Yeah, let's take him

53:24

to the hospital. Okay, so are you

53:26

okay? You're at the hospital? Yeah. Is

53:29

that one of our actions? Remember we're

53:31

in a action. This will be your

53:33

second action. This will be the afternoon

53:35

action. This will be your second action.

53:37

This will be afternoon action. Okay, we'll

53:40

do wait wait wait just like stairs

53:42

at his dad and is not looking

53:44

away for a minute He goes, I'm

53:46

going to save my dad. Okay. Yeah,

53:48

let's look at Francis wait here me

53:51

out Blake they know that we have

53:53

this man and he is injured Yeah,

53:55

we don't be looking for the hospital

53:57

to get him back. We need him

53:59

to alive. How do we do that

54:02

if not in the hospital? What if

54:04

we find a veterinarian at the zoo?

54:06

Okay, I don't think vets are just

54:08

at the zoo. Yes, they absolutely are.

54:10

Yes, they are employed. What the fuck?

54:13

I get that Z is at the

54:15

end of the alphabet, but the functioning

54:17

of a well managed zoo involves care.

54:19

Take her staff? How big of a

54:21

city is Peacheyville that we got our,

54:24

I feel like the Peacheyville Zoo is

54:26

not vet run. It's like a goat

54:28

and somebody's bet rabbit on a street.

54:30

Like it's not like a zoo. Wouldn't

54:32

a regular veterinarian just have more experience

54:35

with traumatic injuries? I don't think elephants

54:37

are getting shot or staff. Everybody brings

54:39

him to the hospital. He'll be saved.

54:41

And if the bison's find him... I'm

54:43

staying with him. Okay, well, education will...

54:46

I fail. I succeed. I fail. I

54:48

pass. 27, my education is 80. You

54:50

guys both know that there is a

54:52

terrific vet in town if you guys

54:54

would like to take him to a

54:57

vet instead. Because you do know that

54:59

a prominent doctor in town is part

55:01

of the bison call. I'm just putting

55:03

that out there. What should the vet's

55:05

name be? Dr. Dog? Doctor, dog. Sally

55:07

Dog. The local vet, Sally Dog, cat

55:10

clinician. And she runs a cat clinic

55:12

on the other side of town. She

55:14

has a sign that says, I don't

55:16

do dogs, it's just my name. And

55:18

you know that she's got great reviews.

55:21

Well, listen. I think the vet makes

55:23

sense because it's kind of low profile.

55:25

We won't, you know, cause such a

55:27

ruckus is going to the... We can't

55:29

trust people right now, Trudy, you're right.

55:32

Plague I was disagreeing with you, but

55:34

after a little bit of an education.

55:36

I think you're right, we should go

55:38

find a vet. There seems to be

55:40

a good vet here. Ed's a bison,

55:43

that's an animal. Oh God, all right,

55:45

let's get him over there. You pile

55:47

into the car, I went ahead and

55:49

gave Ed a constitution role, so he

55:51

did not die on the way over

55:54

to the vet, which is great. Is

55:56

there anything happening in the car? Is

55:58

there like intense blood going on everywhere?

56:00

And you're like, keep it together, dad.

56:02

I got so much got to tell

56:05

you. No, it's absolutely not like that.

56:07

Okay, so it's just very quiet with

56:09

a small squelching sound as he bleeds.

56:11

It's quiet if there's a squelching sound

56:13

and you cannot tell, again, Francis's face

56:16

is blank. I'm driving so much better

56:18

this time. You're doing great, Trudy. Does

56:20

anyone want to give another first aid

56:22

role to? Sure. You guys can try

56:24

all do it if you would like.

56:27

I'm just saying someone here has one

56:29

health. Is BB with us? BB. BB

56:31

is with you. Oh, people want to

56:33

give another shot. You got the 80

56:35

first aid. Baby, look at me. Okay.

56:38

Hey, you're always one of the best

56:40

students. And of course, you're wonderful. And

56:42

look at you, you're still, you're still

56:44

just striving to learn. And I didn't

56:46

know you were that good at being

56:49

a doctor. So, I mean, maybe this

56:51

could be a career for you, but

56:53

give it a shot. I know this

56:55

is a high pressure situation, but you

56:57

can do it. B. B. Stills herself.

57:00

She is gonna make another. A career

57:02

for her? In the 50s. Yeah. Yeah.

57:04

Okay, okay, I really feel like I'm

57:06

making this verse. Let's just get to

57:08

the hospital really quick. Okay. Just go

57:10

go go go go go go. So

57:13

you roll up to over on we'll

57:15

say G Street. Oh doctor Yeah, she's

57:17

got a vet salary, not a doctor's

57:19

hat. We're sick in the 50s and

57:21

you didn't just shoot it. You were

57:24

probably pretty rich. So, she's such a

57:26

street. Actually, I just saw an article

57:28

about how like cat health has been

57:30

a mystery for so long and we've

57:32

just seen like an uptick in people

57:35

like caring a lot about their cats

57:37

and wanting to make sure they live

57:39

long healthy lives. The Sally Dog cat

57:41

clinic. Let's going. Um, meow, we've got

57:43

an emergency. But it's not a cat.

57:46

Yeah, it's a pussy. Boom. So yes,

57:48

the door opens and a beautiful 50-something

57:50

dark-eyed woman. But she doesn't know it.

57:52

Stares at you. No, she knows it.

57:54

And she says, yes. We have an

57:57

emergency. I think Francis just like picks

57:59

up his dad as best he can.

58:01

and just starts like marching into the

58:03

vast office. Oh, yes, look at you.

58:05

We just push in. May I help

58:08

you? Not me, him, him, and me.

58:10

We just need some help and we

58:12

can go to doctors as a long

58:14

story. You die. Okay, yeah. We just

58:16

want to, surely you have sutures and

58:19

band-aits and gauze? Dr. Sally looks at

58:21

all of you and you see just

58:23

a hint of tragic mystery in her

58:25

eyes. And you clock that this is

58:27

not the first time Sally Dog has

58:30

a... Sally Dog may not do dogs,

58:32

but she has in the past done

58:34

humans. Oh my god, I have to

58:36

roll not to fall in love with

58:38

Sally Dog. Because it ends up, it's

58:41

like, don't play games with me, I

58:43

can tell from that look in your

58:45

eye, you've done this before. Take her

58:47

mouth. And Sally Dog, just sort of

58:49

casually and calmly, pulls out a cigarette

58:52

and lights it up, and she says,

58:54

if you know. Can I have one?

58:56

Can we go use a good smoke

58:58

actually? She lights up a cigarette and

59:00

then does that sexy thing where she

59:03

puts another one in her mouth and

59:05

she lights that one up and then

59:07

she She sticks it in Blake's mouth

59:09

and then like strokes his hair and

59:11

I heal right? No, what do you

59:14

mean? You just look cool and you're

59:16

attracted to the sexy doctor. Yeah, but

59:18

in the 50s when you smoke cigarettes.

59:20

No, that's how that works. She takes

59:22

up off and she says if you

59:24

know so much you know also that

59:27

such services do not come for free.

59:29

And she goes to not come for

59:31

free. And she goes out for free.

59:33

And she goes on her hand. And

59:35

she goes on her hand. And she

59:38

goes on her hand. Yes, she goes

59:40

on her hand. Yes, she goes on

59:42

her hand. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. What

59:44

do you want? Kelsey pulls out? Oh,

59:46

we can do a credit rating role.

59:49

$1,000. What's your credit rating, Kelsey? Actually,

59:51

here we go. I have $40 in

59:53

cash. I have a spending level of

59:55

10. I have cash $40. I have

59:57

cash $40. I have assets, $1,000. I

1:00:00

have assets, $1,000. And my credit rating

1:00:02

is $10. Oh, there's a diners club.

1:00:04

Oh, there's a credit rating. That's luck

1:00:06

if I've ever heard it. All right.

1:00:08

38. I'm hemorrhaging luck. I got a

1:00:11

20. Cut to that morning. Honey, don't

1:00:13

forget to bring some cash with you

1:00:15

today. Oh yes, thanks for reminding me

1:00:17

dear. Let me just stuff it full

1:00:19

of cash. Give me 1s, 5s, 10s.

1:00:22

20-20s. Give me two D-10s. Okay. You're

1:00:24

just gonna do this like a regular

1:00:26

role and just read the numbers off

1:00:28

and it's gonna be the amount of

1:00:30

money it is like any other role

1:00:33

you do. Ten? Nice. Three. So it's

1:00:35

33 bucks? 13 bucks. In 19-50s. Oh,

1:00:37

40, but that's 53 bucks. Sally, Dog,

1:00:39

$700. And then a big guy named

1:00:41

Gregor comes out of the back. And

1:00:44

he just sees this bleeding out guy

1:00:46

and he nods and then he goes

1:00:48

to wash his hands. Oh, wow, that's

1:00:50

a good sign. Yeah, they washed their

1:00:52

hands. We found Hetori Hanso. So we

1:00:55

will say that Wall, Dr. Sally Dog,

1:00:57

my favorite MPs, I've ever come up

1:00:59

with. Oh, and she did real good

1:01:01

on her. That's the first aid role.

1:01:03

So he stabilized. Great. So he's got

1:01:06

one HP. And then. Medicine Roll did

1:01:08

not go well. Good you have practice

1:01:10

now use me. Okay hold on hold

1:01:12

on hold on hold on hold on

1:01:14

I gotta just give me a give

1:01:17

me a second. Will is. Will needs

1:01:19

to play an entire doctors game by

1:01:21

themselves. Tell us what happened? Will's pulling

1:01:23

out a copy of operation. If I

1:01:25

can have a conversation with my fucking

1:01:28

dad. Basically after two hours you guys

1:01:30

are out in the waiting room of

1:01:32

this now closed cat hospital. Can I

1:01:34

close cat hospital? Oh my gosh, I'll

1:01:36

give some of these to Marbles. He's

1:01:38

gone. What do you mean he's gone?

1:01:41

I mean, not gone, gone. He's, oh

1:01:43

yeah, I threw marbles to you. Oh

1:01:45

yeah, I got him right here. Marbles

1:01:47

isn't BB's backpack, just like marbles. Marbles,

1:01:49

here's, okay, he's a tranquilizer, and people

1:01:52

love these. Why are you giving her

1:01:54

tranquilizers? She's just the cat, she's fine.

1:01:56

the little pills that make me go

1:01:58

night night and I was wondering if

1:02:00

Marvel's would too. As this conversation is

1:02:03

happening, the door to the back swings

1:02:05

open. and Dr. Sally Dog. You know,

1:02:07

she's in her cat. Do vets wear

1:02:09

O.R. scrubs? Yeah. Okay, she's got her

1:02:11

scrubs on. Yeah. What do you think

1:02:14

they like dress like teachers like little

1:02:16

cat patterned outfits? She takes her mask

1:02:18

off and likes up another smoke and

1:02:20

she looks at you Francis and she

1:02:22

says the patient would like to see

1:02:25

you. Okay. All right. We'll be here.

1:02:27

Trying to give Marvel something to calm

1:02:29

down. Isn't there anything you can do

1:02:31

for Marvel? Somebody he likes me. Marvel's

1:02:33

looking at Trudy and he's like hissing,

1:02:36

right? She's like hissing, right? She's like

1:02:38

hissing. And then Kelsey wants to like

1:02:40

stand between to like block the view

1:02:42

of Trudy and does Marvel's calm down?

1:02:44

Yes, Marvel's part. And then I step

1:02:47

away and she can see. Okay, I

1:02:49

think we know how to calm her

1:02:51

down. You just can't be in her

1:02:53

life anymore, truly. Blake, as Francis walks

1:02:55

past you, she looks at you and

1:02:58

then motions for you to follow her

1:03:00

into the operating room. We'll be here

1:03:02

if you need anything. Blake limps off

1:03:04

bleeding. Really quick, Miss Dog, just while

1:03:06

this is happening, so we can be

1:03:09

doing two things simultaneously while that conversation.

1:03:11

Can Blake be getting medicine? Yeah, that's

1:03:13

what she just said. She's motion. I'm

1:03:15

sorry. I wasn't listening. Thank you so

1:03:17

much. You're a good doctor. You are

1:03:20

a good teacher. Oh, thank you. But

1:03:22

you're not a very good learner. Oh,

1:03:24

pay attention when people are speaking. Okay,

1:03:26

I take that criticism to heart. I'll

1:03:28

think about that. Thank you. Francis, you

1:03:31

enter the sort of back operating room,

1:03:33

you see your father bandaged up, ragged

1:03:35

as hell. his shirt has been sort

1:03:37

of stripped off and he has like

1:03:39

over his bandages you see a burn

1:03:41

spiral scar. It's the same scar that

1:03:44

you got from the two shadowy figures

1:03:46

that approached you while you were astral

1:03:48

projecting. They burned that symbol onto your

1:03:50

wrist and he looks at you and

1:03:52

you see a sort of apprehension in

1:03:55

his eyes and a little bit of

1:03:57

fear as he really does not know

1:03:59

what to make. Oh, the fact that

1:04:01

you've seen him now like this. Francis

1:04:03

is going to take out his ice

1:04:06

cream scoop. Francis, are you okay?

1:04:08

Francis is going to approach his

1:04:10

dad. Look, son, I can explain.

1:04:12

I didn't want you to find

1:04:14

out like this, but your mother

1:04:17

and I, we have... It's so

1:04:19

complicated. I don't even know. Francis

1:04:21

raises the ice cream scoop to

1:04:23

his eye. What are you doing?

1:04:25

What are you doing? Tell me?

1:04:28

Everything. in World War II.

1:04:30

As you know, I was injured. I

1:04:32

came to learn things about the

1:04:34

way the universe is and the

1:04:37

way the world works. Strange things.

1:04:39

I got a book that taught

1:04:41

me how to see beyond my body,

1:04:43

how to see beyond myself. And

1:04:46

I saw amazing things, Francis. I

1:04:48

learned about things beyond this world,

1:04:50

beyond our reality, beyond the fail

1:04:52

of stars. And I know this

1:04:55

is going to sound like a

1:04:57

lot coming from me right now.

1:04:59

This is all aside of me

1:05:01

that I haven't seen before, but

1:05:04

you have to trust me. That I'm still

1:05:06

your father, and I still love you.

1:05:08

I saw things in the war. I saw

1:05:10

things beyond our world, and I saw your

1:05:12

mother. She was a traveler too, just like

1:05:15

me. You have the same gift that we

1:05:17

do because we passed it on to you.

1:05:19

We made sure that you would have the

1:05:21

gift. This site, this ability to travel, it

1:05:24

makes you special. Francis, like it made us

1:05:26

special, like how we found each other. And

1:05:28

we saw so many amazing things out there

1:05:30

and we saw incredible sites and gods of

1:05:33

amazing power and terror. And we fell in

1:05:35

love. We fell in love actually out there

1:05:37

before we even fell in love in real

1:05:39

life, before we met each other. Why are

1:05:41

you working with a bison? I'm sorry,

1:05:43

I'm getting a little derailed here. I

1:05:46

know, this is a lot. Your mother

1:05:48

and I learned that this world

1:05:50

is doomed. We learned that this

1:05:52

battle that's been going on between

1:05:54

these gods out there has been

1:05:56

going on over and over and

1:05:58

over again, a world. after world

1:06:00

after world and it's come to our

1:06:02

world and everyone on this planet is

1:06:05

going to die except for one person

1:06:07

the person who inherits Zuzel the person

1:06:09

who becomes his mortal form who becomes

1:06:12

this god do becomes this warrior to

1:06:14

fight in this battle that's been going

1:06:16

on and on and on your mother

1:06:19

and I were just two crude little

1:06:21

chunks of meat just like everybody else

1:06:23

on this dirty filthy world this lousy

1:06:26

rotten world of ours and we saw

1:06:28

a chance for you to have something

1:06:30

better for you to have something more

1:06:33

to become a part of something great

1:06:35

and powerful and fast and beautiful so

1:06:37

we took it by peering beyond the

1:06:40

site we were able to see what

1:06:42

was going on here at Project Heartland

1:06:44

and we insinuated ourselves into this town

1:06:47

we made contact and we joined because

1:06:49

we knew that if we pulled the

1:06:51

right strings, if we nudged people just

1:06:54

the right way, we could make sure

1:06:56

you were the one, Francis, you were

1:06:58

the one, that you could survive. The

1:07:01

seed thingy? Yeah, that you could become

1:07:03

this demigod, that you could become, you

1:07:05

could become, you could become, you have

1:07:07

such a bright future. You have such

1:07:10

a kind heart, you have such a

1:07:12

kind soul. But we know that this

1:07:14

world is so hard and so tough

1:07:17

when we just want you to survive,

1:07:19

and this is the best way we

1:07:21

can think to do it. and pulls

1:07:24

his arm back with you, I should

1:07:26

keep on it. And he sort of

1:07:28

looks at his knees, doesn't make eye

1:07:31

contact with his dad as he's talking,

1:07:33

and he says, this whole time, I've

1:07:35

been trying to figure out who I

1:07:38

was. And now, I think I know.

1:07:40

And he's gonna scoop out his dad's

1:07:42

eyeball. Whoa! Whoa! Okay, yeah, you don't

1:07:45

have to, uh... Roll for that, because

1:07:47

he's in a frail state. Do we

1:07:49

hear? Yes. You guys are in the

1:07:52

middle of sweet talking marbles, and then

1:07:54

you just hear. Oh my God. Oh

1:07:56

my God. Francis, what are you doing?

1:07:59

Kelsey was going to run in? You

1:08:01

run in and you see, paid the

1:08:03

picture for me. When you come into

1:08:06

the room, Francis' dad is grasping at

1:08:08

an empty bloody eye socket, screaming his

1:08:10

head off. Francis has, you can see

1:08:12

what looks to be a bunch of

1:08:15

viscera and maybe what's noticeably an eye

1:08:17

in his ice cream scoop. And he

1:08:19

just upends the scoop and it just

1:08:22

plops down to the ground. And he

1:08:24

turns and sees you guys. And he

1:08:26

says, they're monsters. My parents are monsters.

1:08:29

You're okay with ending this world, and

1:08:31

they wanted me to be a monster

1:08:33

like them. Oh, okay, Francis Oh No,

1:08:36

son. We love you. We want you

1:08:38

to live shut up. You're all gonna

1:08:40

die. Don't you understand? Don't you want

1:08:43

what's best for him? He's a child.

1:08:45

God damn it. He's a boy Okay,

1:08:47

Francis. Let's go Come with us. Son,

1:08:50

son, son, please, please, please, please, please,

1:08:52

come on, please, son, no, don't, oh,

1:08:54

and he just collapses onto the ground

1:08:57

because he can barely walk and his

1:08:59

stitches burst open and he starts bleeding

1:09:01

again and he starts, and he starts

1:09:04

crawling towards us, he says, come back

1:09:06

to me, son, it's going to be

1:09:08

okay, you just got to trust mommy

1:09:11

and daddy, okay? Francis slams the door

1:09:13

shut behind him. Thanks

1:10:21

for listening, and thanks for watching, by the

1:10:23

way, those of you who have gone out

1:10:25

to your local theaters to watch We're All

1:10:27

Gonna Die. This strange theatrical rollout continues this

1:10:29

week, week four. We're all gonna die movie.com

1:10:31

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1:11:12

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is Trudy Troud and myself, Freddie Wong as

1:11:16

Blake Lively. Our theme song is Trudy Troud

1:11:18

and myself, Freddie Wong as Blake, Freddie Wong,

1:11:20

as Blake, Freddie Wong, as Blake, Freddie Wong,

1:11:22

as Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie, Beth May,

1:11:24

as Trudy as Trudite Trudite, Freddie Wong, Freddie

1:11:27

Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie

1:11:29

Wong, Freddie Long, Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie

1:11:31

Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie

1:11:33

Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Long, Freddie

1:11:35

Wong, Freddie Wong, Freddie Long, as Freddie Long,

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Freddie Long, Freddie Long, Freddie Long, Freddie Long,

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Freddie Long, Freddie Long, Freddie Long, Freddie Long,

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Freddie Long, Freddie, Freddie as Sunrapsila, Mayor Pater,

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Mark Pearson, Larkspur Hadley, Muschwich, McKenzie Sullivan, Christine

1:11:46

Lopez, Luca Guttendgiber, Jared, Ultramike, Benjamin M. Meisner,

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Jen, Niraj Edward, Nomey Fizikas, and her Silver

1:11:50

Platts, Joe Chamberlain, Tori Brock, Joe Chamberlain, Tori

1:11:52

Brock, and Tori Brock, Chamberlain, Tori Brock, Chamberlain,

1:11:54

Tori Brock, Tori Brock, Chamberlain, Stillenelelelen, Stelen, Stelenenelenlethi,

1:11:56

Stelenllethi, Stelenllethi, Stelenllethi, Stelenllethoelenllethoelelenllethoelenllethoelen, Tllethoelen, Tlletho, Tlletho, Tlletho,

1:11:58

Tlletho, Tlletho, Tlleh We'll see

1:12:01

you then. see that I

1:12:03

can see is a hole in

1:12:05

the stars. Swallowing

1:12:09

my dreams and

1:12:11

making them scarves. Too

1:12:13

far, too far

1:12:16

away. But

1:12:18

I'll stay today. All

1:12:34

that I can see

1:12:36

is a hole in the

1:12:38

stars. Swallowing

1:12:42

my dreams and

1:12:44

making them scarves. Too

1:12:46

far, too far

1:12:48

away. But I'll

1:12:50

stay today. Swallowing

1:13:00

making scarves.

1:13:04

Can we have a scene

1:13:06

have a Blake in the

1:13:08

other room? Dr. Dog and Blake in the

1:13:10

other room? Sure. Okay. Dr. Dog, Dog,

1:13:12

it's been a long time,

1:13:14

time, baby. Don't worry

1:13:16

about the screams in the

1:13:19

other room. in the closer. room. Come

1:13:21

closer.