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gold LLC. Dungeons and Daddies is a

4:41

rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups and

4:43

this is actually an especially rowdy episode.

4:46

So we ask that you have a

4:48

look at the content warnings in our

4:50

show notes for details for details. Do

4:52

you ever feel empty? Like, there's a

4:55

hole in your heart that grows wider

4:57

every day, threatening to suck you into

4:59

its event horizon until there's nothing left?

5:01

That means you're hungry for ice cream!

5:04

I'm Francis Farnsworth, and I work at

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the one-handed jerk, so named because all

5:08

of our glasses are slim enough that

5:10

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5:13

hand. We've got so many new flavors,

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screaming bloody murder at our peachy villain

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cream float! I finally learned what I

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A cookie monster that is, our new

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popping out of your head. Now I

5:31

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5:33

did you do? You scooped out my

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5:43

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5:45

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5:47

morally ambiguous parents' parents' pecan. They won't

5:49

be here forever! So come on down

5:51

to the one-handed jerk, where if you

5:53

use your left hand, it's like someone

5:55

else is holding the milkshake. Welcome

6:14

to Dungeons and Daddies! Not a BDSM podcast!

6:16

This show is a not a BDSM podcast!

6:18

It's season we're doing Call Cithulu! This is

6:21

the Peachyville Horror, a Call Cithu actual play

6:23

horror comedy podcast. About four everyday schmows fighting

6:25

the forces of darkness. Where? In suburban 1950s

6:27

America, that's where. Do you think I pitched

6:29

to include what we're not? I don't know.

6:32

There's a lot of things that's like Star

6:34

Wars. Not Star Trek. It's like a weird,

6:36

like, hey, what's your elevator pitch? But to

6:38

be fair, imagine if season three of Star

6:41

Trek was Star Wars. Yeah, they would start.

6:43

We would, to bowl the go, not where

6:45

we went before, but to a new thing, a

6:47

new show, modern Star Wars. You're expecting Darth. He's

6:49

not showing up this time. Old Darth and Jar,

6:51

Jar, Jar, and Art, and Jar, and Art II,

6:53

and C3, and C3, and C3, and C3, and

6:55

C3, and C3, and C3, and C3, and C3,

6:57

and C3, and C3, and C3, and C3, and

7:00

C3, and C3, and C3, and C3, and C3,

7:02

and C3, and C3, and C3, and C3, and

7:04

C3, and C3, and C3, and C3, and Okay?

7:06

My name is Freddie Wong, I play deep thinking,

7:08

plumber Blake lively. Blake's fact this week, Blake has

7:10

never been to space, but he's looked longingly

7:12

upon the stars, and he's thought to himself,

7:14

through many battles of World War II, and

7:17

in the time sense, he's like, if only

7:19

I could fly into space. I would be

7:21

a good space man. Does he want to

7:23

be like a space guy? He does, yeah.

7:26

Does that mean he wants to like live

7:28

in space forever or what's the... He wants

7:30

me the first person in space because at

7:32

this time nobody's been to space. Oh, he

7:35

wants to go and come back. Yeah, yeah,

7:37

yeah, yeah. This is not like everybody else.

7:39

Yeah, he's not special. That's why he's an

7:41

all-American man. That is odd that

7:43

like before astronauts, you never would have

7:46

like dreamed dreamed of... going to space

7:48

and coming back, it would just be

7:50

like you're in space now. Because you

7:52

probably wouldn't have considered like... Somebody probably

7:54

thought of the idea of going away

7:56

back. No! His name is June Vern.

7:59

I don't think so. I mean, to be fair, that's

8:01

how humanity is spread from Africa. We

8:03

never went back anywhere. We just kept

8:05

going forward. You never go back. You

8:07

only go in one direction. Sometimes the

8:09

ice age ends and the land bridge

8:11

is gone. Oh, take a land bridge.

8:13

Wait, was here just a minute ago?

8:15

Did you imagine? The came back? The

8:18

last guy across the land? Hey, what

8:20

the fuck! I swear to God there

8:22

was a thing we just spent four

8:24

months walking across there. Why? George, you

8:26

said there was gonna be a land

8:28

bridge here. I swear it was here

8:30

last week. God, that's my cousin, Aug. Never

8:32

asks for directions. I don't want to do

8:35

that. Let's go. We got a podcast. It's

8:37

good that we tell people this is not

8:39

a D&D podcast before we start. Hey, everybody.

8:41

My name is Matthew Arnold. I play Kelsey

8:43

Grammar. Peachyville Snappiest and happiest school marm. And

8:45

you know what she always says right before

8:47

a test. It's not about the grade. It's

8:49

about just doing your best. And then

8:52

I will sign a letter to how

8:54

good your best place and your character

8:56

and where else is best. Um, is

8:58

Kelsey greater than a curve? Fuck no.

9:00

Wow. What curves? What does fucking communism,

9:02

dude? You get herbs in the 50s?

9:05

I sign you a number. That's socialism.

9:07

You know why she might not be

9:09

a good teacher, too. Oh, yeah, that's

9:11

true. Yeah, you don't need a curve

9:13

when you think that of me. So

9:16

yes, I got through the census and

9:18

we'll go back to a normal Kelsey

9:20

fact. So I was thinking I'll do

9:22

favorite word. Okay. So her favorite word

9:25

is vestibular as in a vestibular

9:27

sensory system as in the sixth

9:29

sense. The sense of balance. So

9:31

her favorite sense of balance is.

9:33

Just sitting in a rocking chair. That

9:36

feeling of rocking just feels really... I

9:38

love a good rocking chair. She loves

9:40

a rocking chair. I don't see a

9:42

lot of rocking chairs. This would be

9:44

really good for you. Yeah, there's

9:46

supposed to be super good for

9:49

you. And apparently, like, kids not

9:51

having access to swings is pretty

9:53

bad too. Really? Really? Wait, why?

9:55

What about the aspect of going

9:57

to that. It's cathartic and soothing.

10:00

What about the comprehension? Getting a

10:02

victory Roy Allen fortman? Yeah, what

10:04

about the sense of you and

10:06

your for Benjamin Tranchard? Gameer!

10:09

Gameer! The fucking grandmas do

10:11

along, they were fucking doing their knitting.

10:13

Sorry exists, I know the sorry exists.

10:15

Did you know that Ben Franklin actually

10:17

invented the game or rocket? They do

10:19

exist in the way that is not.

10:21

No, those aren't, which is the ones

10:23

that go in gaming. Yeah, they're the

10:25

ones that go straight on the ground.

10:27

Yeah, I remember those. Yeah, they gotta

10:29

have the bowed legs. Yeah, and they

10:31

need to be made of craft oak.

10:34

Real amish.com. You can call the Amish

10:36

and they'll make furniture for you. That

10:38

rules. Studily Amish carpenters want to chat

10:40

with you about furniture that you want

10:42

to build at Real amish.com. They have

10:44

a game room chair for sale and

10:46

let me tell you. Looks just like a

10:48

chair. Dude. I'm going to like a chair.

10:50

Dude. I'm going to bring them all

10:53

on Rumspring. They're going to

10:55

have so much fun building my

10:57

gamer chair. Her least favorite. A kid

10:59

with a possessed gun, an ice cream

11:01

scoop, and a song in his heart.

11:03

A heart full of gold. I'm actually

11:05

going to do census as well. Yay!

11:07

So Francis loves it when the guy

11:09

from the government comes to their

11:11

house every year and asks how many

11:14

people. That's really good. Talk to them

11:16

about all the people he loves, like

11:18

his mom and his dad. I love

11:20

her census joke. Hi, my

11:22

name is Beth May

11:24

and I play Trudy

11:26

Trout, a homemaker, mother

11:29

of one beautiful child

11:31

in a robot. Fun

11:33

fact about Trudy is

11:35

that she has one of

11:37

the most exquisite,

11:39

wonderful popcorn recipes

11:42

of all time.

11:44

What? After all, she loves

11:46

a kernel task. Mommy, Momia,

11:48

love it. Hot, diggy, damn. Holy shit.

11:50

You gotta be out of him and you never

11:53

are. She's back. That one came to me in

11:55

the shower. I was just like, boom. Someone on

11:57

the patron was like, because you did the

11:59

credit card. fact last time with Diner's Club.

12:01

Oh yeah. I was waiting for Beth to

12:03

say like she got the credit card because

12:05

she loves to charge. That's good. I already

12:07

did charge with battery but like I feel like

12:10

we can kind of just bring it back run

12:12

it back you know. So recycle your

12:14

memory so it's good? All right.

12:16

I'm Will Campos, I'm your daddy

12:18

master. My creepy fact for you

12:20

today comes from the Wikipedia page

12:22

for medical cannibalism. Okay. In Europe

12:24

thousands of Egyptian mummies were ground

12:26

up and sold as medicine since

12:28

powdered human mummy called Mumia was

12:30

thought to stop internal bleeding and

12:33

to have other healing properties reaching

12:35

its peak in the 16th century.

12:37

The practice continued in a few

12:39

cases in totally early 20th century.

12:41

Fresh human blood, particularly from recently

12:43

executed criminals. was also highly valued

12:45

because of its supposed healing powers,

12:47

a custom that goes back to

12:49

ancient Rome when the blood of

12:51

wounded gladiators was thought to cure

12:53

epilepsy. Okay, hold on. How has

12:55

that not been in a gladiator?

12:57

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, what? I

13:00

get the Roman thing. The big strong guy

13:02

blood can help make strong. But really

13:04

criminals? Criminals? Yeah, wouldn't you think that

13:06

would turn you into a criminal if

13:08

you're like a city? Probably, here's what

13:10

I think happened. It's about the blood,

13:12

not the purse, they would like, we

13:14

want fresh blood. No, no, no, no,

13:16

no. I think a very enterprising blood

13:19

cellar was like, well, what's my best

13:21

source of blood? Ex-duty criminals. He's like,

13:23

well, we gotta put some sizzle on

13:25

the steak. Yeah, actually, the criminal blood

13:27

is even the criminal blood is even

13:29

better for you. You eat thing and

13:31

then thing become you. It's like that's

13:33

pretty basic. There's like a

13:36

lot of stuff. So you

13:38

become strong. It's a lot

13:40

of cultures and stuff. So

13:42

it's like to me, it's

13:45

a no. It's from Rainbow

13:47

Six. The book by Tom

13:49

Clancy. I remember that scene

13:52

forever for some reason. Sorry.

13:54

I remember that scene forever

13:56

for some reason. Sorry. Sorry.

13:59

What? But. I remember that. I

14:01

remember that. I remember that.

14:03

I remember that. I remember

14:05

that. I remember that. I

14:08

remember that. I remember that.

14:10

I remember that. Marcus Aurelius

14:12

over here. I remember that

14:14

seat. I remember that. Ding

14:17

Chavez. There's only two things

14:19

I remember about top class.

14:21

He's rainbow six. But true,

14:23

if it didn't look it

14:26

would be any lies, right?

14:28

Because men need it. Yeah,

14:30

it's like if beef tasted,

14:32

could there be no more

14:35

cows, right? We must reference

14:37

Tom Clancy and Ding Java

14:39

as more than any other

14:41

podcast in the history of

14:43

the world. All right, let's

14:46

do a spooky podcast. Where

14:52

are we last left off? A lot of

14:54

shit went down last episode. I once again

14:56

typed a fun little recaps for everybody. Mission

14:59

briefings, if you will. Mission briefings. Yeah, well,

15:01

you're so John Clark, the head of Radio

15:03

6, coming. A character who also appeared in

15:05

Tonklais and all is without remorse and clear

15:07

and present danger. Presraid by Willem to phone,

15:10

the film starring Harrison Harrison Ford. John Clark.

15:12

He's one of the CAA, but don't work.

15:14

He's one of the good ones. Kelsey your

15:16

mission briefing amid your car crash Mexican standoff

15:19

hostage negotiation of his fight with the Bisons

15:21

You made a cunning deduction and sussed out

15:23

the identity of one of your masked assailants

15:25

a parent of one of your students Just

15:28

another lead for you to chase out or

15:30

ignore quadruple a open world do whatever you

15:32

want. Is this the first quadruple a by

15:34

cast? Yeah, it was the Clark family and

15:37

the husband's name Johnson You recognize John Clark

15:39

and his little son David. I didn't come

15:41

up with a name at the time. So

15:43

yes, you have a lead there to chase

15:46

down. Should you wish? I did. Trudy. Don't

15:48

want to mess with him though. He's tough.

15:50

He's real. Or don't be in clear present

15:52

danger, Matt. Trudy. Matt, Matt, try and see.

15:55

Matt, Matt, try and stick every Tom Clancy

15:57

novel into your dialogue. This is episode. True

15:59

to your hunt for the dollmaker, not the

16:01

Red October. Has taken a back seat to

16:03

saving local restaurant owners and trying to give

16:06

cats painkillers, but the beast is still out

16:08

there stalking the night and with it, the

16:10

means to potentially save your son. Blake, you

16:12

just can't keep a good plumber down. Thanks

16:15

to the quick work of the mysterious and

16:17

alluring Dr. Sally Dog cat clinician You've received

16:19

competent first aid in medicine and you can

16:21

roll one D3 hit points. Yes So is

16:24

he at zero right now? He's at one

16:26

so you can get up to four hit

16:28

points right now Let's do it in the

16:30

the last peach pit we did that sort

16:33

of behind the scene show after the show

16:35

will mention that he imagined Rachel Vice as

16:37

Dr. Dog which means I've been playing Francis

16:39

Francis completely wrong All right, say 1D3? 1D3!

16:42

3! Opah, you now have four hit points.

16:44

Yay. Congratulations. You're never gonna die. She's the

16:46

best of what she does. Francis! You scooped

16:48

out to your dad's eyeball, dude. And that

16:50

was where we last left off. We walked

16:53

off. The door slammed shut. You find yourselves

16:55

standing at the doorway. of Dr. Sally Dog

16:57

cat clinicians cat clinic. The sun is beginning

16:59

to set because it is time for the

17:02

third action of the day. We're not going

17:04

to do sleep. No sleep. No wasting action

17:06

on sleep. We're going to get disadvantaged on

17:08

other stuff. You won't get disadvantaged on this

17:11

stuff if you don't. You won't get disadvantaged

17:13

on this one. But starting tomorrow morning, I'll

17:15

start making you guys do constitution saving for

17:17

us if you don't sleep. Yeah, we do

17:20

rather sleep now when everything is closed or

17:22

in the morning. We can do one all-

17:24

After the all-miter is when you start feeling

17:26

bad. Okay, so I'm saying we would have

17:29

to fall asleep in the morning So why

17:31

don't we just do it now? Yeah, well,

17:33

where? Your mansion, yes to my house. Is

17:35

that free movement action? That works? Yes, without

17:38

our families that we're family's action? Yes, without

17:40

our families that we're saving? Yes, without our

17:42

families that we're saving? Okay, wait, wait, wait,

17:44

wait, really. It's like I'm there. Okay, but

17:46

we were trying to save our families, right?

17:49

We have to pick up my brother and

17:51

sister. No, that's right. We don't have to

17:53

get my parents. There's no way my mom

17:55

didn't know about what my dad was doing.

17:58

Okay, you don't want to get her? No,

18:00

not at all. Okay, if we do stop

18:02

by, I'll pop out for a second and

18:04

then I'll come back in. I don't think

18:07

that's a good idea. Yeah, so can we

18:09

get my family, please? I mean, yeah. Well,

18:11

it's my family too, says Milton. Yeah. I've

18:13

had a lot of adventure and I kind

18:16

of want to go home, I kind of

18:18

want to go home, I kind of want

18:20

to go home. Yeah, I kind of want

18:22

to go home. Yeah, I kind of want

18:25

to go home, I kind of want to

18:27

go home, I kind of want to go

18:29

home, I want to go home, I want

18:31

to go home, I want to go home,

18:33

I want to go home, I want to,

18:36

I want to, I want to, I want

18:38

to, I want to, I want to Now

18:40

to be clear is this action going to

18:42

take mmm all night. I don't think so,

18:45

but that's up to somebody else You know,

18:47

I've got to let things go the way

18:49

God wills it and I look out will

18:51

I don't know how long I'll take but

18:54

it feels like we should be able to

18:56

drive to a house and get somebody and

18:58

they still sleep And I like what you

19:00

said about sometimes you should just let things

19:03

happen I'm just saying that if we see

19:05

anybody else getting kidnapped, I'm not going to

19:07

put all of our lives in danger to

19:09

save them. I'm glad that's the lesson we

19:12

took away from that. What you did was

19:14

really brave, and I think now more than

19:16

ever it's important that we care about

19:18

people. Okay? You did a good thing.

19:20

Maybe not the smartest thing, but you

19:22

did a good thing. And that's more

19:25

important. Thank you. I'm old. My stats

19:27

are already so bad that we should

19:29

be using me four things anyways. I'm

19:31

going to give you guys a little

19:33

bit of a loose lead here. Okay.

19:35

Within reason, as long as it feels

19:38

like enough that you could do in

19:40

one night, I'm going to allow. Okay.

19:42

So you guys want to go to...

19:44

Let's get Rosa and Niles. Okay, bring

19:46

them to Blake's mansion. That's the plan.

19:48

Y'all load up in the van. You're

19:51

driving through. You guys like got the

19:53

radio on? No. Okay. Would anybody? Silent!

19:55

Would anybody like to? Listen to anything

19:57

because right now, it's just my thoughts

19:59

up here. Oh, okay. Yeah, let's put

20:01

on the radio. So you hear the

20:04

end of, I don't know, Chantilly Lace

20:06

going into the news. Oh, the big

20:08

bopper. He'll never die. Listen to the

20:10

news. I like music and I change

20:12

the channel. All right, you know what?

20:14

You know what? You know what? There's

20:17

anything I learned about by my friend

20:19

John Clark, which I want to talk

20:21

about real fast, because I'm pretty sure

20:23

he was, because I'm not talking about

20:25

real fast, because I'm pretty sure he

20:27

was, because I'm pretty sure he was,

20:30

because I'm pretty sure he was, because

20:32

I'm pretty sure he was, because I

20:34

was, because I was, because I was,

20:36

because I was, because I was, because

20:38

I was, because I was, because I

20:40

was, because I was, because I was,

20:43

because I was, because I was, because

20:45

I was, because I was, because I

20:47

was, because I was Information is important.

20:49

So back we should turn on the

20:51

news. And I turn it back on

20:53

the news. Welcome to NPR. This is

20:56

National Peacheville Radio. Nice. Nice. They go

20:58

national story. Then yes, we do. I

21:00

don't know why I am or what.

21:02

Sorry, who said that? We were on

21:04

the air. Hamb Hamburger? Natural news! Mr.

21:06

President! Beachyville, natural news is on! Turn

21:09

it on! You got here, it was

21:11

going on in Beachyville! Yeah, it was

21:13

the only thing to replace the fireside

21:15

chats after FDR stepped up. All right,

21:17

keep code, sorry, sorry. We're excited. I

21:19

love flight with you, well, I'm very

21:22

excited. I'm just in a good mood

21:24

right now. I'm sorry, I'll let you

21:26

go, let's do it. Tonight's top story,

21:28

the mysterious and baffling theft of a

21:30

large supply of blood from Peacheville hospital

21:32

authorities are confused as to why only

21:35

type A positive blood was stolen from

21:37

the hospital this evening. Now on to

21:39

sports, the Peacheville pirates beat the Nebraska...

21:41

Noodles and Noodle Ball? This person does

21:43

not seem to know the sports. The

21:45

study says that most people turn off

21:48

the radio after they've heard the important

21:50

piece of exposition they were supposed to

21:52

hear. No, it was going to get

21:54

into the show. We go now to

21:56

an interview with Pepper Pete, the pitcher

21:58

for the Peaches virus. I wouldn't be

22:01

related to Stinky Pete. Well, look, I'm

22:03

really tired of getting asked this question.

22:05

It doesn't really even seem to be

22:07

based on anything other than that we

22:09

have the same first name. I hope

22:11

that the reporter asked if he's single.

22:13

Many of our female listeners want to

22:16

know if you are single, Pepper Pete.

22:18

Well, you know, I'm also really tired

22:20

of getting asked this question. This is

22:22

upset, many times I am married to

22:24

beautiful women. I'm treating it off. Okay,

22:26

so blood, does anybody have a positive

22:29

blood? I'm on the list. Do I

22:31

have a positive blood? I can't remember.

22:33

I asked all of you what your

22:35

blood type was. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

22:37

yeah, sorry. I thought you were doing

22:39

that in a fun JRPG sort of

22:42

way. You know? Such was my trap,

22:44

Freddie. Now I get to search. No,

22:46

well, I'm not sure. I did assume

22:48

that you asked that question specifically for

22:50

something with the episode. I was like,

22:52

wow, what a fun persona asked Japanese

22:55

RPG thing. As you guys are turning

22:57

down the radio, Milton says, type A

22:59

positive blood, that's so weird, that's my

23:01

mother's type of blood. Oh, Milton, how

23:03

do you know this? No, your brother's

23:05

blood. I know lots about blood. You

23:08

know, I'm really into, you know, they

23:10

say that blood determines a lot of

23:12

your personality. So, you know, that's just

23:14

something that I'm really interested in. Is

23:16

your blood creepy as fuck? My blood

23:18

isn't creepy, I've got oh negative blood,

23:21

which is why I'm so confident, resilient,

23:23

self-centered, and unstable. Trudy, do you have

23:25

that? Are you not to have one?

23:27

Do you have one? That's a good

23:29

question. I'm a positive, yeah. It's the

23:31

Japanese art known as Ketsukegata. which is

23:34

something that I'm really interested in. That's

23:36

how I found out that, like for

23:38

instance, my aunt Kelsey has B-positive blood.

23:40

And that's why she's so optimistic, passionate,

23:42

selfish, and erratic. Oh my god, is

23:44

that really? What B-positive blood means? Yes,

23:47

it is. Wow. I have been positive

23:49

blood. Okay. Well, I have just described

23:51

it. Okay. Well, that's nice, but I

23:53

don't think that summarizes me and I

23:55

don't mean to be stickler about this,

23:57

because I haven't. that science is more

24:00

true than art, and I did do

24:02

a little research on blood, and I

24:04

don't think what your blood is defines

24:06

your personality. So just a little bit. So

24:08

I know a lot about it. I mean,

24:10

a little bit. I just played your eyes

24:12

most of it. I read it, though. Yeah.

24:14

And that's learning. That's learning. Yeah. And that's

24:16

learning. Yeah. Well, for your information, Kelsey, I

24:18

don't like disagreeing with you, but the man

24:20

who came up with the blood type personality

24:23

theory of personality theory theory theory theory theory

24:25

theory theory. He teaches a bunch of women

24:27

though, so. Anyway, I just, I don't know,

24:29

if you guys want me to tell you

24:32

anything about your blood types, I'd be happy

24:34

to do it. Okay. The only one, A

24:36

positive, that means it has the A antigen,

24:38

but they're not going after A, B, so they

24:40

must want the A antigen. Completely isolated. Well, we don't even know

24:42

who's stealing it, right? So I don't know. Just thought it was

24:45

an interesting... Oh my god, watch out! Well, actually, Milton can't say

24:47

that. What are you saying, child? Milton has a premonition and the

24:49

beavy goes, oh my god, watch out. And as you are driving,

24:51

Matt, give me a drive roll. Matt? Give me a driving. Matt,

24:53

give me a drive roll. Matt, you injured God, you injure me,

24:55

bro. Just hit the brakes, it. It'd be the funniest thing. It'd

24:57

be the funniest thing. It'd be the funniest thing. It'd be the

24:59

funniest thing. It'd be the funniest thing to do that. It'd be

25:01

the funniest thing. It'd be the funniest thing. It'd be the funniest

25:03

thing. It'd be the funniest thing to do. It'd be the funniest

25:05

thing. It'd be the funniest thing. I stacked her on drive. People

25:07

obviously say this before they do a bad role and I love

25:09

it every time. I know, I know.

25:11

You just jinxed yourself in the next

25:13

week. No? 52. You slam on the

25:15

brakes well enough that you both stopped

25:17

the car and nobody inside gets thrown

25:20

out the window and you narrowly avoid

25:22

hitting a young man in the middle

25:24

of the road. And in any contact?

25:26

He's dazed, he's soaking wet and he

25:28

seems to be talking to himself. You

25:30

recognize him as the headlights hit him

25:32

that this is sticky sticky Rick. The

25:34

boy who works at the local drive

25:36

in it was until Francis became a

25:38

mass murderer, the second most bullied kid

25:40

in Beechie Belt. That's right.

25:42

Rick, uh, Sticky Rick, he doesn't

25:44

seem well. Sticky Rick looks up

25:46

at you for saying he has

25:48

this glazed over a vacant look

25:50

in his eye and he just says, I

25:52

have to go. Oh, where are you going?

25:55

On a trip? Can't be late. And

25:57

then he just starts walking off

25:59

that the... people do before they do

26:01

wild things. Yeah. I have to go

26:03

on a trip. But I guess I

26:06

did a wild thing. We all do

26:08

wild things, but we have to sleep.

26:10

And I have to save my brother

26:13

and sister. Okay, he's already fading off

26:15

into the darkness. He's just going to

26:17

do anything. Okay, so let's just keep

26:19

going. Let's just keep discussing it until

26:22

it's too late to do anything. And

26:24

then we can't feel bad about doing

26:26

anything. I'm the one who knows to

26:28

get right the best and I'm saying

26:31

we go. I keep driving. Okay, he

26:33

is gone. Oh, how awkward he's going

26:35

in the same direction we are. Oh

26:38

gosh. No, I ain't met. What street

26:40

did you guys live on? See you

26:42

guys are I mean like you're probably

26:44

like what the G Street we'll say

26:47

we were just on G Street Well

26:49

then it's a short drive But it's

26:51

a real long on the other energy

26:53

street. Give me a because you're going

26:56

pretty fast. I would imagine give me

26:58

a I'm going to speed a bit

27:00

You're going to see you're going fast

27:03

I imagine goes as a good driver.

27:05

Give me a spot hidden roll Any

27:07

one who's looking out the window? A

27:09

nine. A super duper success. Okay, give

27:12

me a drive roll to slam on

27:14

the brakes again. A six? Wow! A

27:16

super duper success. I saw and stopped.

27:18

You hit the brakes perfectly to roll

27:21

to a stop right on the windows

27:23

where everybody can see it. And it

27:25

is a lamppost with a poster on

27:28

it. And on the poster is a

27:30

photo of Francis Farnsworth. There's a note

27:32

that says, have you seen this boy?

27:34

Wanted for questioning, contact. Sheriff Shane Silva.

27:37

The police usually don't put things out

27:39

like that, do they? Well, they don't

27:41

say context, a particular cop. Hey, guys,

27:44

I had an idea. Yeah. Do you

27:46

think this is about what you did?

27:48

Policy? As long as I'm around you

27:50

guys, I'm putting you guys at risk

27:53

if I stay around you, partly because

27:55

of who I am. So I was

27:57

thinking, maybe I could just, I could

27:59

leave. Child, child, you need to chill

28:02

out. Yeah. Francis, I was wondering, if

28:04

I could speak to you. We're stopped,

28:06

right? Yeah. Why don't we... when we're

28:09

stopped right Trudy? Yes it's just sometimes

28:11

I feel like we're going and so

28:13

it's stop you're good sorry no no

28:15

no worries tall Kelsey I would just

28:18

like to have a word with Francis

28:20

if that's okay sure you can go

28:22

in the kitchen Okay. Because it's like

28:24

a whole house in here. You can

28:27

also keep driving to your parents' place

28:29

and we can talk while we go.

28:31

Kelsey, I will stay up with you

28:34

as we drive to your parents' place.

28:36

Okay, great. Be on the lookout for

28:38

more signs, I guess. I tell us

28:40

more information that we need. I have

28:43

my peepers peeled. We're driving really slowly,

28:45

though. Kelsey, you know that you're allowed.

28:47

No, thank you. You remind

28:50

me of my little boy, Timmy,

28:52

and it's a good thing. And

28:54

it's because, um, I think you're

28:56

both sensitive. And I know that

28:58

that's not what boys like to

29:00

hear, but I think that makes

29:02

you very brave to be sensitive.

29:05

I'm a sensitive soul myself, and

29:07

I think that sometimes sensitive people

29:09

feel hurt and it's easy to

29:11

let that feeling kind of spread

29:13

and really take hold of you.

29:15

What I'm trying to say Francis

29:17

is that you are getting older

29:20

and you have a choice to

29:22

choose your power as a man

29:24

as a big strong man or

29:26

your gentleness as somebody who is

29:28

sensitive and I hope that you

29:30

make a good choice and I

29:32

want you to know that we

29:34

care about you. It, I guess.

29:37

You know what I felt when

29:39

I took out my dad's eye?

29:41

What? Not a fucking thing. I

29:43

think I maybe used to be

29:45

sensitive when I first met you.

29:47

But now I think I'm probably

29:49

more robot than you are because

29:52

it didn't hurt at all. I

29:54

would do it together. There's part

29:56

of me that's like, I should

29:58

have gotten the other eye and

30:00

now he's just looking at one

30:02

eye. It's just knowing who my

30:04

family is and who I am

30:07

now, kind of put things into

30:09

sort of a sharp relief. It's

30:11

about saving the world and stuff

30:13

and that's important. But my parents

30:15

are monsters and that explains why

30:17

I'm a monster. for the stuff

30:19

that we need to do, unless

30:22

you let me leave, which I

30:24

think is still like the ideal

30:26

situation. But no, I think the

30:28

die has already been cast. The

30:30

choice was made for me by

30:32

my parents when I was first

30:34

born. You're so young, Francis. Thank

30:37

you. And monsters, robots, who knows

30:39

what's human anymore, right? Sorry I

30:41

mixed the metaphor. No, it's just,

30:43

I think it's very human to

30:45

feel the things you are feeling.

30:47

Not that I would know, maybe,

30:49

but... Don't count yourself out yet.

30:52

You know what I think? I

30:54

think that you and Kelsey and

30:56

Blake are good people. And I

30:58

think you should get as far

31:00

away from me as you possibly

31:02

can. Well, too bad, kiddo. We're

31:04

right here. Kelsey. Francis might not

31:07

be a good person. By the

31:09

way, that's what you took away

31:11

from that conversation. If you can

31:13

hear that we're whispering, we're always

31:15

for you. You do give me

31:17

a listen roll. Yeah. But don't

31:19

tell me what you got, because

31:22

I don't want Madder Friday to

31:24

know before they start talking. Sure,

31:26

sure. Okay. Kelsey. Yeah, Blake. Crazy

31:28

conversation. Yeah, I was going to

31:30

say. Truly's doing great, but sometimes

31:32

a young boy just needs a

31:34

man to talk to him. So

31:37

why don't you just go up

31:39

and maybe give him a little

31:41

advice. You've been through a lot.

31:43

Hey, Blake, who the fuck gets

31:45

me beat? Remember, your best power?

31:47

Yes. When you get back there.

31:49

deserve neither liberty nor safety. Do

31:52

you know who said that? I

31:54

don't remember what you... just said

31:56

now trying to remember it. I'll

31:58

write it down for you, okay?

32:00

Okay, yes, please discord it to

32:02

me so I can deploy it

32:04

at an appropriate time. And I

32:07

wasn't listening, but I just want

32:09

to say, Blake's can come talk

32:11

to you and everything Trudy said

32:13

I agree with if I heard

32:15

it. And also, Francis, you don't

32:17

need to talk to me. This

32:19

is the sum of all my

32:22

fears is everyone will be able

32:24

to try to have a conversation.

32:26

Try to have a conversation until

32:28

I say so. So you're not

32:30

going anywhere? I'm going to keep

32:32

driving. I go out to the back

32:34

and I kind of give like a

32:37

tag team like, Trudy, I will

32:39

speak to the child. Oh, okay. Yes,

32:41

go ahead. Ah. Francis. This is, you

32:43

did a great job. I just think,

32:46

you know, Blake's, the man who's

32:48

been through some things. Maybe France

32:50

has been through some things. I think

32:53

we're going to find out why grown

32:55

men should talk to young

32:57

boys about their problems. Boys

32:59

every day. I'm tired all

33:01

the time. I'm tired too

33:04

and I I don't know

33:06

I hope that Blake says

33:08

the right things. I

33:10

hope that Blake says the

33:12

right things. I hope so

33:15

too. Let's listen. Well the

33:17

two of you are up here you just

33:19

uh no it's Milton. Oh hi. I just

33:21

can't help but you know as a young

33:23

boy who's looking for role models and you

33:25

know I feel like I don't really see

33:27

eye to eye with a lot of what

33:29

big strong guys try to teach young boys

33:31

I just I've never read good other stuff.

33:33

Can I ask you guys like some questions

33:35

about growing up and stuff like that? Would

33:38

that be okay? Yeah there'd be a good

33:40

time. Okay, cool. We'll just let me know

33:42

if that would be a good time to

33:44

do that. Okay, no, Melton. You know what?

33:46

Anytime's like, I'm your aunt, and anytime's a

33:48

good time to ask me a question if

33:50

you want to ask me a question. Okay,

33:52

well, my first question is kind of about

33:54

girls, so let's get into that. All right,

33:56

then we'll jump. Francis. Francis, like, you

33:58

have done much killing? I'm trying to

34:01

remember. Not nearly enough, mine air.

34:03

Those are rookie numbers, you have

34:05

to pump them up, yeah? Yeah,

34:07

I didn't kill a... Trudy's husband,

34:09

and I didn't kill... Francis,

34:12

you must understand, in this world,

34:14

sometimes we are tasked to do

34:16

things that we need to do, and

34:19

they are perhaps to justifiable ends.

34:21

There are bad people in this

34:23

world, Francis, so you should not

34:26

feel bad for hurting them. because

34:28

in hurting them you protect the

34:30

ones you love. That's what I

34:32

tell myself. I didn't scoop out my

34:34

dad's eyes to protect the ones I

34:37

love. I did it because I wanted

34:39

to. Yes, sometimes protecting the ones you

34:41

love and also doing the things you

34:44

want can go hand in hand in

34:46

morally questionable ways. So are you saying

34:48

I should just do whatever I want?

34:50

No, Francis. You should punish the bad

34:53

people. and find them and live conscience

34:55

free that you are doing the right

34:57

thing unless well okay hold on Francis

34:59

how worried about both Blake and Francis

35:01

I just it tears my heart out

35:03

to think about what these boys are

35:06

going through Francis when you say you

35:08

wanted to do it like how much put

35:10

the percentage apparently a hundred because I did

35:12

it I feel like that we have two

35:14

roads we can go down right I was

35:17

actually already thinking in the same thing you

35:19

were like, if I'm gonna do monstrous things

35:21

I might as well lean all the way

35:23

in and do it until the world is

35:26

saved and then we can deal with me.

35:28

Or I could just stop now before other

35:30

people get hurt. Francis, sometimes it's

35:32

not so cut and dry and

35:35

easy. Sometimes you have to do things

35:37

to protect yourself and to get through a tough

35:39

time. I didn't have to do any of

35:41

the things I did. I didn't have to shoot

35:43

little Shane's leg off. I didn't have to pull

35:45

the eye of the person that attacked Kelsey. I

35:48

just thought it would be fun to hurt bad

35:50

people and for first to make me feel

35:52

good and now makes me feel nothing. Slow down

35:54

Francis, we need to back up a little bit.

35:56

You blew what off who? It doesn't matter.

35:59

It doesn't matter. Just what I'm wondering

36:01

is like you know how girls have

36:03

a lot of hair on their head?

36:05

Yeah But I noticed that a lot

36:07

of them don't have hair on their

36:09

legs But boys have hair on their

36:12

legs. So like if a girl grows

36:14

hair on her legs would it grow

36:16

forever like her hair in her head

36:18

or would it stop like air? Boys?

36:20

Boys? Boy air. I mean grow hair

36:23

on their legs Francis, but they do

36:25

That's not Francis. Francis, you're listening to

36:27

this, right? This is important. Yes, Belton,

36:29

does the hair on your legs grow

36:31

indefinitely? Yes. Well, no, but I just...

36:34

Yes, that's exactly, yes. Okay, well, thank

36:36

you. I'm going to think more about

36:38

some more questions and I'll write them

36:40

down and ask you later. Perhaps one

36:42

of you should talk to the child.

36:44

I'll talk to the boy, he says,

36:47

be we marches back there. Francis. Hey,

36:49

look at me. What? Look, I don't

36:51

like you and I don't respect you

36:53

that much. You know, we don't get

36:55

along and you're mean to me sometimes.

36:58

You call me judgy and maybe I

37:00

am because I'm judging you right now

37:02

for being a jerk in the past.

37:04

But those who, I'm very famous man,

37:06

named Benjamin Franklin, once said, after you

37:09

invented the gaming rocking chair, that those

37:11

who would give up. No, you didn't

37:13

say it. Now I'm going to say

37:15

it. Blake, Blake, Blake, get out of

37:17

here, get out of here, get out

37:19

of your chance. You had your chance.

37:22

Okay. Those who would give up a

37:24

central liberty to purchase little temporary safety

37:26

deserve neither liberty nor safety. So we're

37:28

not giving up on you, Francis. You're

37:30

part of this team. And that's that.

37:33

And then she kicks you in the

37:35

shin. Well, you said you wanted to

37:37

go away and then it would be

37:39

better because we'd be safer. But I

37:41

don't give two licks about that because

37:43

you're part of the team. I started

37:46

it. She kicks you in the shin

37:48

again. We don't deserve my liberty. Stop.

37:50

You can do it as much as

37:52

much as much as you want. True.

37:54

True. True. You want. True. True. He

37:57

is exhibiting some very dangerous qualities that

37:59

I... You over here in the back

38:01

quietly? I feel like I'm a clear

38:03

and private danger to everybody. It seems

38:05

like he's been doing a lot of

38:08

really bad actions without remorse. So... He

38:10

is taking a same tact against all

38:12

enemies, dead or alive. He's vicious. He's

38:14

got like the teeth of a tiger.

38:16

That's a book then. As you say

38:18

that, you arrive at your house. I

38:21

just want to say something to us

38:23

as a bowling team. Okay, yes. We

38:25

are out to see right now and

38:27

it is hard to tell whether we

38:29

are waving or drowning and I think

38:32

that we should all be each other's

38:34

lifeboat and take care of each other

38:36

because we're a team. We're a team

38:38

and we should act like a team.

38:40

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38:44

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The bold issues could be catastrophic. Rise!

50:07

You guys are just running through the

50:10

house. Yeah, I wanted to turn on

50:12

the light, or at least try to

50:14

light. When the lights throw them on,

50:16

you realize that there's like upturn furniture.

50:18

It looks like there was a big

50:20

struggle in this house. There's also like

50:22

just a- She just leaves her furniture

50:24

upturn. There's also like this overwhelming, like

50:26

rancid stension here. It's like rancid barbecue

50:28

sauce mixed with like shit and piss

50:31

and piss, and it just smells awful.

50:33

It smells like up-hotty in here.

50:35

Oh my gosh, what's up with you?

50:37

Why is everybody making jokes? My

50:39

sister! Kelsey, you need to find

50:42

your sister? Yes. Francis quickly helped

50:44

me find the source of this

50:46

water leak. Okay, that's great. That's

50:48

nice. Yeah, no, I will find

50:50

my sister. I'm not worried about

50:52

that. And she would love it

50:54

if her house didn't have water

50:56

damage. Francis, we get to charge

50:58

time and a house we get

51:00

to charge time and a house.

51:02

You're following the water to the

51:04

burst pipe? Yes. Who's going where?

51:07

I'll go upstairs. Okay, you're going

51:09

with them. So the three of you run

51:11

into this bathroom and the toilet has just

51:13

exploded. Like something is. Blasted out of

51:15

this thing. Kool-Aid man's stuff. All right, who

51:17

did it? And the room itself has just been

51:19

sort of destroyed. There's like sewage and like

51:21

viscous goo just as sort of ruptured out

51:24

of this pipe. The stench is overwhelming. In

51:26

fact, everybody give me a constitution saving throw.

51:28

Do I get an advantage because I'm a

51:30

plumber? Yeah, I feel like you would have

51:32

seen something like that before. Yes, you get

51:34

a bonus day. My car is 25, I

51:36

got a 57. 70, and I got a

51:38

45. I succeed, I have a 50, and

51:40

I rolled a 16. OK, so yes, Francis,

51:43

you dropped your knees and throw up. There,

51:45

there, child. Give me. Good and I can

51:47

react to something still. Everybody give me a

51:49

spot hidden roll. Man, I wish we had

51:52

Kelsey. I critically fail. Yeah, you can't see

51:54

anything other than your own peep on the

51:56

ground. 21 out of the 33, I pass.

51:59

I pass. I fail. You feel alright so

52:01

then Blake with your keen plumber eyes

52:03

you recognize look again there's this goo

52:05

there's this water running around under the

52:07

water you see these like sharp puncture

52:09

marks in the ground almost like the

52:11

legs of a big insect have just

52:13

pierced into the ground and you realize

52:15

that there's a sort of muddy trail

52:17

leading through the house as well like

52:19

from these marks. This is a problem

52:21

and you see the toilet went in

52:23

reverse usually truly The bad things go

52:25

down into the pipes and are gone

52:27

forever out of sight, out of mind.

52:29

But here in this case it appears

52:31

an insectoid creature has come out of

52:33

the toilet and is now stocking around

52:35

the house. I recommend we leave immediately.

52:37

The dolemaker, that must be what it

52:39

is. You are familiar with this creature?

52:41

Yes, it's an alien and he makes

52:43

goo. We need to leave right now.

52:45

The trail of this thing. If you

52:48

sort of track it with your eyes,

52:50

it is heading downstairs and you realize

52:52

that it headed into the headed into

52:54

the basement. Where we now find Kelsey?

52:56

Oh no! With Milton and BB, we've

52:58

gone downstairs with you. And it's pitch

53:00

dark. I'm pushing Milton around in front

53:02

of me. No, I'm not. No, I'm

53:04

not. I got the behind me. Okay,

53:06

so it's pitch dark down here. You

53:08

guys, the stench is not so bad.

53:10

Okay, stay at the top of the

53:12

stairs, you too. Don't come down here.

53:14

Are you sure? It seems like a

53:16

pretty dangerous situation, disclaimer. You be right

53:18

there in case something happens to me.

53:20

Let me check if it's safe first,

53:22

okay? Okay, come back soon, Kelsey. Well,

53:24

yeah, you can see me. It's not,

53:26

you can see me. It's not, you

53:28

can see me. Well, you can see

53:30

me, Kelsey. Well, Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey,

53:32

you can see, Kelsey, you can see,

53:34

you, you, Kelsey, you, you, you, you,

53:36

you, you, you, you, you, you, you

53:39

can see, you, you, you, see, you,

53:41

you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

53:43

you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

53:45

you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

53:47

you, you, A seven. Okay, great. Super

53:49

duper. You see the same trail of

53:51

sort of sharp puncture marks. They're covered

53:53

in like a dirt, like a sort

53:55

of like almost like soil. You notice

53:57

something in the soil of one of

53:59

them. It just happens to catch your

54:01

eye kind of catches the light. And

54:03

it's like this little white strand, almost

54:05

like hair or silk, a little thread.

54:07

And you notice that there's a couple

54:09

of them in these marks. looking at

54:11

them. I want to look at that

54:13

hair slash thread, to find out if

54:15

it is hair or thread. It doesn't...

54:17

Time to play! Hair! Or thread! It's

54:19

organic, like it's not like a fabric.

54:21

I guess hair could be used as

54:23

thread. It's just a little white thing,

54:25

right? I guess I was trying to

54:28

see if it's like Ross's hair. No,

54:30

it's not Ross's hair. If you want

54:32

to give me an education role to

54:34

know what it is. You remember maybe

54:36

the chapter on Iraq Nids? What you

54:38

realize is that it's corn silk. Corn

54:40

silk. Corn silk. Like you like when

54:42

you suck a corn and you're a

54:44

corn. That shit that gets in your

54:46

tea. Ross never leaves corn silk. She

54:48

keeps a clean house. And it wouldn't

54:50

be in the basement even if she

54:52

was. Okay. As you make this realization

54:54

you hear like a sort of struggling

54:56

banging noise coming from the closet. You

54:58

rip the door open? I rip the

55:00

door open. Is you rip the door

55:02

open? You see your sister Ross in

55:04

the closet? Ross! Oh my God, you're

55:06

okay. I have to go. On a

55:08

trip. Can't be late. Oh no. I

55:10

have to go. And she starts walking

55:12

past. Okay. On a trip? Can't be

55:14

late. Can't be late. Mama, what's wrong

55:16

with my mom? What's wrong with my

55:19

mom? I don't know, Milton, whatever is

55:21

happening to everybody else is happening to

55:23

your mom, but we have her. It's

55:25

the dollmaker, it's his venom. Yeah, oh,

55:27

you think he's poisoning them? He does

55:29

mind control, so we need a large

55:31

dose of his venom to find the

55:33

antidote, obviously, for Timmy, but this will

55:35

also probably help everybody else that's been

55:37

in, right? Can I check? Ross, do

55:39

I see any like punctures or bite

55:41

marks or venomous? Yes. So this is

55:43

an easy check. You just see there's

55:45

like a big sting mark on the

55:47

back of her neck as you run

55:49

to hug her. You feel this wealth

55:51

on her. Yeah, Trudie, I think, yeah,

55:53

it looks like she got to go.

55:55

She'll see as much to go. Can't

55:57

be late. Kelsey is who we are

55:59

supposed to. to rescue. Yes, this is

56:01

my sister, Ross. I have to go.

56:03

I have to go. I have to

56:05

go. I get her into a re-naked

56:08

choke. And I don't know, wait, wait,

56:10

wait, wait, you can just tie her.

56:12

Let her go and we'll follow her

56:14

to where she's going. That's where the

56:16

dollmaker will be. I was thinking something

56:19

similar, but we won't let her go,

56:21

Francis. I'm so sorry. This little yippy

56:23

dog Fiddles runs up and starts looking.

56:25

Milt and he's like, Fiddles, oh my

56:28

god boy, I was so much, I

56:30

was so scared, I haven't seen you

56:32

in so long, and he hugs him.

56:34

Fiddles, you're gonna be good boy, you're

56:36

gonna guard this house, right? Right, good

56:39

boy. Okay, because I don't think we

56:41

can take you with us. Kelsey if

56:43

you have to go. Well, if this

56:45

is who we want to save, I

56:48

can choke her out and we'll bring

56:50

her. No, we don't need to choke

56:52

her out. No. She seems to really

56:54

want to go somewhere. Blake, if she

56:56

struggles or finds a way to break

56:59

free and is like running really fast

57:01

to get away from us, then you

57:03

have permission to choke her out. But

57:05

if she's just doing this, like kind

57:08

of walking all slow, then I think

57:10

we can handle it. I have to

57:12

go. Yeah, we're gonna take you, we

57:14

need to go. Can't be late, I

57:16

have to go. Bebe, position the car,

57:19

position the car, position the- I'm outside.

57:21

You told me to wait in the

57:23

car, you guys are in the basement,

57:25

I hear vague, we're coming out there.

57:28

We're coming out, we're all coming out

57:30

now. Bebe, position the car so that

57:32

the back door opens straight into the

57:34

front door. She backs into the mail

57:36

post, knocks it over. You really don't

57:39

want to drive! You don't need to

57:41

drive. Ross is pretty pliable, pliable, right?

57:43

She's doing what we want. So I'm

57:45

moving her. I moved my sister into

57:48

the car. She's just walking for, if

57:50

you guys are just sort of nudging

57:52

her. Well, she's in the car and

57:54

we've all decided her next action shall

57:56

be used for sleep. So, uh, to

57:59

my house. Into your house, Blake. Yes.

58:01

I think we get sleep, right Francis,

58:03

and then we can follow Ross to

58:05

where the dollmaker is, because we should

58:08

take him, she's not going to sleep.

58:10

Yeah, we'll tie her up. I know,

58:12

but I mean, we're not going to

58:14

mean about it. It'll be a nice

58:16

girl. Okay. So as you guys are

58:19

driving the car, it's almost like she's

58:21

being pulled in one direction and as

58:23

you drive in a different direction to

58:25

get to Blake's house, she just becomes

58:28

more and more distressed. She's like, I

58:30

have to go, I have to go,

58:32

I have to go! I have to

58:34

go! She's just like, bang your head

58:36

against the window, just like, slamming herself

58:39

and pounding on this. I have to

58:41

go! I have to go to, like,

58:43

choke route. Oh, yes, very good. I

58:45

go over and I, rear naked joker,

58:48

cutting off blood to her brain. Both

58:50

of them, arteries coming up through the

58:52

neck, a textbook, rear naked joke. Give

58:54

me a, um, give me a melee

58:56

combat roll. it's not really combat it's

58:59

really just a role for something it's

59:01

really just what do you want to

59:03

roll what do you want to roll

59:05

hot shot power I mean there's just

59:08

a technique do what I mean yeah

59:10

it is against it's under duress you

59:12

know everybody can do this most people

59:14

can't do this you know they looked

59:16

at a YouTube video I hate to

59:19

break it to you buddy but with

59:21

enough power you don't need technique do

59:23

you want to burn some luck on

59:25

it 12 logs a lot of fucking.

59:28

No, don't worth a lot. Okay, I

59:30

will do my fighting brawl. Mm-hmm. Okay,

59:32

she's a slippery one. I have to

59:34

go. On a trip. I have to

59:36

go on a trip. I got a

59:39

50. My fighting brawl is 60. Okay,

59:41

great. So I chose her. You just

59:43

choke. That's an illegal boxing hold. Okay.

59:45

I tie her more thoroughly. I guess

59:48

like more closely to like a hog

59:50

die. And also, okay, we need her

59:52

not to be hitting her not to

59:54

be hitting her. Milton yes go get

59:56

your helmet my helmet oh from inside

59:59

yeah go get your helmet can someone

1:00:01

help me go get my helmet beepie's

1:00:03

like yeah I'll come up I'll help

1:00:05

you build and let's go both of

1:00:08

you go get a helmet I guess

1:00:10

hurry up in there all right they

1:00:12

come back with a child-sized helmet And

1:00:14

then a couple of pillows, because BB

1:00:17

thought that would be better right now.

1:00:19

Oh, good idea. Okay, yes. I put

1:00:21

the helmet on ros his head, I

1:00:23

tie the pillows to the helmet to

1:00:25

two different points in the car. So

1:00:28

she's like really stuck in there. Truly

1:00:30

well and decapitated. She didn't car get

1:00:32

it to it. Look, if we get

1:00:34

a car accident, none of us are

1:00:37

coming out. Good. Okay, in fact, she's

1:00:39

probably the safest safest. She's only one

1:00:41

wearing a, hey. Hey. attached to people

1:00:43

in a car. It's a good idea.

1:00:45

Because like, to your point, I think

1:00:48

if we got in a car accident.

1:00:50

What happened to you Blake? You're right,

1:00:52

I flew out to her. I flew

1:00:54

out to front windshield. But that wouldn't

1:00:57

happen to Ross, wouldn't it? Ah, you're

1:00:59

right, if she was somehow restrained in

1:01:01

the car, perhaps she is the safest

1:01:03

one in here. We should all have

1:01:05

seat helmets. Seat helmets? Every helmet, that's

1:01:08

a great idea, Kelsey. Every seat has

1:01:10

a helmet that is attached by rope

1:01:12

to the frame of the car. Cut

1:01:14

to 15 years later. in the same

1:01:17

place when you crash your car, snapping

1:01:19

dozens of necks across the globe. Okay,

1:01:21

so she just tied up. Yes. And

1:01:23

we're driving to Blake's house, right? Yes,

1:01:25

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now at Walmart. a

1:04:03

German accent. I thought maybe I'd

1:04:05

take in somebody. He's never knowing

1:04:07

what Blake was saying. He has

1:04:09

a swastika cut to his forehead.

1:04:11

I'm going to give you something

1:04:13

you can take off. And we

1:04:16

pull into the driveway and there's

1:04:18

just in front of you

1:04:20

this gigantic three-story classic

1:04:22

just massive mansion. Let

1:04:24

me pull up to

1:04:26

it. Ah, this is

1:04:29

the guest house. And

1:04:31

we turn around and

1:04:33

then around it in

1:04:35

the back is an

1:04:38

even bigger four-story mansion.

1:04:40

Ah, here we go.

1:04:43

The servants quarters. My

1:04:45

house is just for

1:04:47

me. Smaller than the other one.

1:04:50

Oh, he's one of those billionaires

1:04:52

that you know, she was annoying

1:04:54

billionaires that likes to cosplay as

1:04:56

a middle class person. Don't worry

1:04:58

it goes ten floors under the

1:05:00

ground. Hey Warren, it's your cousin

1:05:02

John Buffett. You know that house

1:05:04

you've been looking for? Well, I'm

1:05:06

so excited. What's your sleep mechanic?

1:05:08

It's going to be like the

1:05:10

classic fade to black and little

1:05:12

like JRPG. King door is

1:05:14

going to be campfire. Okay.

1:05:16

So you pull up to

1:05:18

the house. I am mighty

1:05:20

tired. I'm mighty tired. The

1:05:22

door swings open and ambristor

1:05:24

opens the door and says,

1:05:27

Mr. lively, you've returned. Ambristor,

1:05:29

where is the rest of

1:05:31

the staff? It's full. I wasn't

1:05:33

asking how many. I lose

1:05:35

track. Currently we have 15

1:05:37

people on the staff. There's

1:05:39

the cook, the cook's assistant,

1:05:42

the cook's assistant, the

1:05:44

cook's assistant, the chef

1:05:46

de cuisine, the lawyer, the

1:05:48

butler's lawyer, that's my lawyer,

1:05:50

he's on retainer, there's the

1:05:53

maid, the maids woman, the

1:05:55

chief physician, although that's

1:05:57

really me, I work a double

1:05:59

shoe. The librarian of

1:06:01

course the groundskeeper groundskeeper

1:06:04

the huntsman the exterminator

1:06:07

Three people that play

1:06:09

tennis with the exterminator aka the

1:06:11

accountant who does our books and

1:06:13

then there's my split roller there's

1:06:16

the young local lad who rolls

1:06:18

mr. lively cigarettes and how many

1:06:20

left do I have young man?

1:06:23

And then there's of course me

1:06:25

and Mr. Lively. Oh, yes. Wow.

1:06:27

And Blake, you do your own

1:06:30

plumbing. I think that is so

1:06:32

brave. Yes, it's very important that

1:06:34

the plumbing is right in these houses.

1:06:36

Like I have a question. Why do

1:06:38

you still plumb? Ah, you see, it

1:06:41

gives me the common touch and I

1:06:43

do like seeing inside people's houses. The

1:06:45

common touch, what do you, what, what,

1:06:47

and what does that mean? I just wonder

1:06:49

like sometimes where their bathroom where

1:06:51

their bathroom is. When you look

1:06:53

at a house. You don't know

1:06:56

where the bathroom is, and only

1:06:58

upon entering the house do you

1:07:00

see the layout and the truth

1:07:02

of... The layout with regards to

1:07:04

bathroom placement is laid bare and

1:07:07

manifest before you. My lord Blake

1:07:09

Lively is very passionate about the

1:07:11

layout of homes. He's written many

1:07:13

pieces of wit and wisdom on

1:07:15

the subject in his upcoming manuscript.

1:07:17

The title is most popular. Clear

1:07:20

and present toilets. A guide to

1:07:22

plumbing by Blake Lively. A guided

1:07:24

tour of the American bathroom. Will

1:07:26

your guest be requiring sleeping accommodations

1:07:28

this evening, sir? Yes, and also,

1:07:31

um... Some kind of secured room

1:07:33

for the lady here. Oh dear,

1:07:35

this young woman seems to be

1:07:37

in much distress. Yes, we can't.

1:07:39

She's okay? Sorry. Sometimes I have.

1:07:42

I have. I recover from certain

1:07:44

ailments. Sometimes it affects the

1:07:46

matter of my speech. It

1:07:48

feels like I'm constantly locking

1:07:50

in my accent. You don't

1:07:52

have any security? Why would

1:07:54

I need security? I am the

1:07:56

security madam. Oh, okay. I

1:07:58

have your security right. here

1:08:00

and I flex a little bit. Okay,

1:08:02

you're very strong. Like, I think we

1:08:04

need to bring this to my sister

1:08:07

Ross and you can tell she is

1:08:09

under some sort of duress and I'm

1:08:11

going on a trip. Did you go

1:08:13

on a trip? Somebody's brainwashing. Yes. This

1:08:15

is my butler and doctor. Oh, that's

1:08:18

right. Okay. There's somebody called the doll

1:08:20

maker. The doll maker has venom. Yes,

1:08:22

the doll maker is an alien. Uh.

1:08:24

Be a normal person who just really

1:08:27

wants to see the inside of people's

1:08:29

houses like me. Well, I'm a robot,

1:08:31

you know, just to kind of get

1:08:33

you into our wacky world of what's

1:08:35

going on. Indeed, Madam. Yes, and, um,

1:08:38

the dollmaker. is an alien captured by

1:08:40

Project Heartland. Indeed, madam. But it escaped.

1:08:42

I see. And it's venom. As you're

1:08:44

saying this, he's like kind of guiding

1:08:46

you to like a seed and boring

1:08:49

you tea. Just like making sure you're

1:08:51

okay. And it's venom. Indeed, madam. It

1:08:53

decodes brains, making them more suggestible. My

1:08:55

brain is actually coated in the dollmaker's

1:08:58

venom. I see. But there's a difference.

1:09:00

There's a barrier between robot and brain.

1:09:02

And sometimes I wonder like what. But

1:09:04

I was talking to Francis earlier about

1:09:06

him scooping his father's eye out with

1:09:09

ice cream, scoop in my head, I

1:09:11

was wondering if only there were not

1:09:13

a cool barrier between my robotness and

1:09:15

my brain and I was more heart.

1:09:18

But that's neither here nor there. We

1:09:20

have a problem. Ross has been injected

1:09:22

with the dollmaker's venom. And she just

1:09:24

needs to be safe. That's all that

1:09:26

concerns you and Blake here. Also if

1:09:29

your doctor you could check her out

1:09:31

and see if maybe there's an antidote

1:09:33

to the venom. Indeed. Well that all

1:09:35

sounds like you've had a rather taxing

1:09:38

evening. Shastity the maidwoman shall show you

1:09:40

to your quarters if you wish to

1:09:42

adjourn and recover your constitution. Shastity! You

1:09:44

bingo gal! Do you mean you? I

1:09:46

recognize you on the parl over to

1:09:49

me and go. How's it going? I

1:09:51

know you worked here. I didn't know

1:09:53

you worked for Blake. You're like a

1:09:55

little multiplied on sketch. Come this way,

1:09:58

I'll show you to your quarters. Very

1:10:00

nice. As she does that, Ambister turns

1:10:02

to you, Freddie. And I turn to

1:10:04

Ambister, like, we're in for another hard

1:10:06

one, my man. And then we pray

1:10:09

to her high-fime. Lock and load, my

1:10:11

man. Indeed, sir. Shall I patent down

1:10:13

the hatches as we did in Prague

1:10:15

that one time? Yes indeed this is

1:10:18

going to be a hairy one I

1:10:20

can tell. Indeed. Just like etiquette, oh

1:10:22

we want in that elevator talking about

1:10:24

their best and best gun darts baby?

1:10:26

I said, you know, I for the

1:10:29

time you saved my life, I owe

1:10:31

you a butler life debt, and I'm

1:10:33

forever in your charge. Okay, so it

1:10:35

is now sleep, it's sleep, it's sleep

1:10:38

time. There's no mechanic for this, it's

1:10:40

just who wants to go to go

1:10:42

to go to sleep, the other thing

1:10:44

you can do, the other thing you

1:10:46

can do, the other thing you can

1:10:49

do, the other thing you can do.

1:10:51

The other thing you can do. Pick

1:10:53

a little reading material before you go

1:10:55

to bed. You all got books about

1:10:57

please. Sounds like we have disadvantage if

1:11:00

we don't sleep. I will let you

1:11:02

read your book and go to sleep

1:11:04

if you want to read your book

1:11:06

before you go to sleep. Well, putting

1:11:09

the book into the pelle help you

1:11:11

absorb the information inside of it. Yes.

1:11:13

Okay. Hey. Do you have said it?

1:11:15

We can read our books. Yes. You

1:11:17

can read your books. You just sleep

1:11:20

on them. I think mechanically is going

1:11:22

to function the same. I think either

1:11:24

way, we're going to hear what's inside

1:11:26

the books. I will say that's a

1:11:29

secret ability, Trudy has, is if she

1:11:31

sleeps on her books, she will be

1:11:33

able to absorb it. Oh, like different

1:11:35

classes. I love this fucking asymmetry more

1:11:37

gameplay. I should pick the robot class.

1:11:40

If I had known that you could

1:11:42

fucking sleep on books and absorb it,

1:11:44

that's the thing about the robot class.

1:11:46

That mechanic really snowballs with the book

1:11:49

knowledge learning. Stop or will nerf it.

1:11:51

So we'll say that Ambister is because

1:11:53

he's got the most sleep out of

1:11:55

anyone who's volunteered to stand guard on

1:11:57

Ross's room to make sure she doesn't

1:12:00

escape. I keep Ross in my room.

1:12:02

Oh, okay. I'm not like Ross on

1:12:04

my site. And she's tied to the

1:12:06

bed and I. She's tired. Where are

1:12:09

you sleeping? What do you feed her?

1:12:11

Human food. I don't like it. What

1:12:13

do you say like that? Why? It's

1:12:15

not bad. You're thinking about it because

1:12:17

it's weird if I'm doing it. But

1:12:20

remember I'm playing a character named Kelsey.

1:12:22

Ross is my sister. Okay? Ross is

1:12:24

my sister. Yes, he's just playing a

1:12:26

woman coming down a hysterical woman who

1:12:29

can't do it though. And she's been

1:12:31

brainwashed by an alien and we have

1:12:33

to keep her tied up so that

1:12:35

she doesn't walk to her own death.

1:12:37

But her humor needs, she still needs

1:12:40

food and water. So I'm taking care

1:12:42

of her like a good sister. So

1:12:44

I feed her. Whatever the food the

1:12:46

butler brings me. Okay, yeah, he brings

1:12:49

you some motion. I don't think it

1:12:51

was a big bad witch. Yeah, some,

1:12:53

you know, some girl. And then I'll

1:12:55

look at my sister, I can't, don't

1:12:57

worry, get through this one, and then

1:13:00

I open my brother's diary. Okay, we'll

1:13:02

start there. Page one. All right, I

1:13:04

know she's my sister, but Kelsey's looking

1:13:06

pretty good right now. Oh my god!

1:13:08

Oh my god! All right, Kelsey. Okay.

1:13:11

Your brother's diary, tell him. No, no,

1:13:13

no. Stepbrother! Stepbrother! I found out that

1:13:15

Kelsey and I are adopted. We're not

1:13:17

actually one. Page two. Your brother's diary

1:13:20

tells the strange tale of his experiences

1:13:22

in World War I and beyond. The

1:13:24

early entries are all fairly mundane, details

1:13:26

of life in the trenchary, camaraderie. Not

1:13:28

mundane to me. I like hearing about

1:13:31

my brother's little life. He tells that

1:13:33

little life, that's weird. Comraderie with his

1:13:35

fellow soldiers, etc. But throughout he dreams

1:13:37

of that day he went off to

1:13:40

war, and the day you warned him

1:13:42

of his death at the Battle of

1:13:44

Kantiki. He chalked it up to a

1:13:46

bad case of nerves from his beloved

1:13:48

sister at the time, until his division

1:13:51

was called up to take the French

1:13:53

town of Cantighi on May 28th, just

1:13:55

like you had said. During the battle

1:13:57

he foresees a deadly ambush and saves

1:14:00

the life of his unit, John is

1:14:02

commended for his bravery, but he can't

1:14:04

help but be... utterly unnerved by the

1:14:06

experience. And that's when things take a

1:14:08

turn for the truly strange. On the

1:14:11

night before every major action his unit

1:14:13

is involved in, he has another dream

1:14:15

of you warning him of his impending

1:14:17

death, a grenade at Pashondale, our terrory

1:14:20

fire on the 100 days offensive, sniper

1:14:22

fire, and a risky night raid at

1:14:24

the San Quentin Canal. And sure enough

1:14:26

in the next day's fighting, those moments

1:14:28

come to pass and he's able to

1:14:31

cheat death again and again. Over time,

1:14:33

John makes a disturbing realization. They're memories

1:14:35

of the past. He did die in

1:14:37

those battles over and over again. You

1:14:40

did warn him, changing his fate again

1:14:42

and again. How did you know? What

1:14:44

does it mean? John's not the only

1:14:46

one to take notice of his strange

1:14:48

run of good fortune. Word gets out

1:14:51

first around his unit, then his division,

1:14:53

and finally, Word gets around to the

1:14:55

men in white lab coats from an

1:14:57

obscure branch of the military intelligence division.

1:15:00

They find his case to be extraordinary.

1:15:02

After an initial battery of tests, they

1:15:04

postulate all manner of theories with staggering

1:15:06

implications for quantum physics relativity and of

1:15:08

course the strategic goals of the United

1:15:11

States military. They tell John they want

1:15:13

to study him further. There's just one

1:15:15

catch. His very existence will become top

1:15:17

secret. He can't return home to his

1:15:20

family. He'll be one of the countless

1:15:22

soldiers who go missing in action in

1:15:24

wartime. John wrestles with the decision for

1:15:26

days and days. He can barely stomach

1:15:28

the idea of never seeing his family

1:15:31

again. But like he always does when

1:15:33

he has faces a tough moment, he

1:15:35

finally asks himself, what would Kelsey do?

1:15:37

You were always the brave one, always

1:15:39

the curious one, always the one who

1:15:42

want to know more about the way

1:15:44

the world works. So he takes their

1:15:46

deal. He becomes classified property of the

1:15:48

US government. And he hopes in his

1:15:51

final journal entry before being whisked away

1:15:53

to God knows where that someday his

1:15:55

choice will make you proud. Damn, dude.

1:15:57

I never would have left my family.

1:15:59

But he's alive. Okay. And he's adopted.

1:16:02

He's adopted. I guess the government can

1:16:04

use my hot body for science. No

1:16:06

touch. I'm property of the government. So

1:16:08

Trudy, as you doze off on your

1:16:11

gently used... I'm saying God bless, Kelsey,

1:16:13

God bless, Francis, God bless, Blake, God

1:16:15

bless, BB, God bless my Timmy. Milton,

1:16:17

you forgot Milton. Under your bed. Fright

1:16:19

you here from the wall next to

1:16:22

you. And, um, Milton, and, um... And

1:16:24

now I'm going to bed and I'm

1:16:26

reading my dollmaker file. I hope it

1:16:28

doesn't give me nightmares. You open up

1:16:31

this dossier and amidst the troves of

1:16:33

reports, chemical analyses, and the like, you're

1:16:35

able to glean the following information. The

1:16:37

dollmaker is the apex predator of a

1:16:39

distant planet called Laniulus. It appears to

1:16:42

have traveled from its home world and

1:16:44

made North America its hunting grounds sometime

1:16:46

in the late 1600s. It received its

1:16:48

name from the way that it turns

1:16:51

its prey into living dolls by stinging

1:16:53

them with a nerve agent that renders

1:16:55

them extremely open to psychic suggestion. It

1:16:57

evaded capture for centuries owing to its

1:16:59

high intelligence, preternatural stealth abilities, and nine

1:17:02

indestructible armored carapists. Its kiteness exoskeleton has

1:17:04

one weak point, a nerve cluster in

1:17:06

its skull that operates as a multi-sensory

1:17:08

organ akin to sight, sound, and smell

1:17:11

rolled all into one. For unknown reasons,

1:17:13

it will only seek out human prey

1:17:15

with type A positive blood. It may

1:17:17

attack and dismember people with other blood

1:17:19

types, but I will not consume them.

1:17:22

You learn that Project Heartland's chief xenobiologist

1:17:24

suspects that the dollmaker travels the cosmos

1:17:26

under its own biological power by wings

1:17:28

that warp space time around them, and

1:17:31

it carries a large supply of food

1:17:33

with it, similar to a dung beetle

1:17:35

to sustain itself on intergalactic voyages. And

1:17:37

then you have spooky nightmares about him.

1:17:39

Oh man. Got him. Why did he

1:17:42

programing to have spooky nightmares? Francis, you

1:17:44

have your book on cursed guns. Are

1:17:46

you going to crack it open? I

1:17:48

think Francis is so full of adrenaline

1:17:50

and like just stress that he probably

1:17:53

sits on his bed and sort of

1:17:55

stares into the middle of distance for

1:17:57

like two hours until his body finally

1:17:59

makes him fall asleep. Francis as you.

1:18:02

fall asleep. Sorry, I fall asleep on

1:18:04

the book so that all the knowledge

1:18:06

still goes into my brain. Okay, perfect.

1:18:08

As we've established, robot class. Oh, yeah,

1:18:10

were you specked as a robot class?

1:18:13

Yeah, all right. Do you want to

1:18:15

read the book though? In that case,

1:18:17

or are you? No. Okay, you haven't

1:18:19

gone to sleep yet and you're looking

1:18:21

at the wall and you hear a

1:18:23

voice behind you and goes, hey Phil,

1:18:26

I haven't seen you there for a

1:18:28

look. You are in fact dreaming. You are dreaming a sort

1:18:30

of photo realistic dream about the room that you thought you

1:18:32

were awake in. How you doing buddy? I haven't seen you

1:18:34

on the astral realm. Yeah. Where are you here? Well, you

1:18:37

know, where are you here? Well, you know, it's rare that

1:18:39

you meet someone. Yeah. Where are you here? Well, you know,

1:18:41

it's rare that you meet someone else. Yeah. Where are you here?

1:18:43

Well, you know, it's rare that you meet someone else. Well, you

1:18:45

here. Where are you here? Well, you here. Well, you here, you here,

1:18:47

you here, you here, you here, you here, you here, you here, you

1:18:49

here, you here, are you here, you here, you here, you here, you

1:18:51

here, are you here, you here, you here, you here, you here, you

1:18:53

here, you here, you here, are you here, you here, you here, you

1:18:55

here, you here, you here, you here, Dream Francis

1:18:57

slaps himself as hard

1:18:59

as he possibly could. Whoa, whoa,

1:19:01

whoa, hey, what are you doing, Buster?

1:19:03

What are you doing? And he does

1:19:06

it again. Look, man, look, hey, I

1:19:08

just want to talk to you, okay,

1:19:10

can you, and then as you slap

1:19:12

yourself the third time, your hand gets

1:19:14

caught and stops and it freezes, and

1:19:16

it freezes. by the hand of one

1:19:19

of those shadow figures that stalked you

1:19:21

the last time you were in this

1:19:23

realm. And you see this thing, this

1:19:25

sort of blurry shape holding you, and

1:19:28

it looks past your shoulder to sneaky

1:19:30

peat, and you hear the voice of

1:19:32

your mother say, leave us. And then

1:19:34

sneaky peat just vanishes. And the shadows

1:19:37

shift and shape around the figure lets

1:19:39

go of your hand, and you see

1:19:41

your mother now sitting beside you on

1:19:43

the bed. I think this won't make

1:19:45

for great audio, but I think

1:19:47

that Francis would just stare at

1:19:49

her with a mixture of confusion

1:19:52

and disappointment and rage. I don't

1:19:54

think he'd be able to bring

1:19:56

himself to say anything. I spoke

1:19:58

to your father. So it's

1:20:00

going to be like that, huh? It's

1:20:02

going to be just silence. Okay. Well,

1:20:04

then you can sit here while I

1:20:06

talk, and then you can have control

1:20:08

of your dream again. Francis, you're a

1:20:10

young boy. I'm not going to apologize

1:20:12

for keeping things from you. That's my

1:20:14

right as a parent. To tell you

1:20:16

things that are good for you to

1:20:18

hear and to protect you from things

1:20:20

that are bad for you to hear.

1:20:22

And... Do I've been hilded with me

1:20:24

in this dream? Sure. Oh, fuck, I

1:20:26

forgot about that. Yeah, true, yeah. Brut

1:20:28

Hilda says, oh, so now you want

1:20:31

me, now you want me. And then

1:20:33

your mother looks at the gun and

1:20:35

says, shut up. And then Brut Hilda

1:20:37

just goes quiet. Says, son, your father

1:20:39

and I love you, we know what

1:20:41

is best for you. And it is

1:20:43

not up to you to make this

1:20:45

decision about your future. You are going

1:20:47

to become the vessel of Zuzel. Do

1:20:49

I make myself? I'm going to be

1:20:51

done. This fucked up shitty bloodline will

1:20:53

come to an end after we save

1:20:55

the world. And it'll be fine. This

1:20:57

is just every boy goes through this

1:20:59

phase where he resents his parents and

1:21:01

he hates what they're doing. And you

1:21:03

know, I understand that your father and

1:21:05

I want you to grow up and

1:21:07

be a brave strong man who could

1:21:09

make his own decisions. But you are

1:21:11

not that man yet. You are still

1:21:13

a boy. You do not understand what

1:21:15

is best for you. And we know

1:21:17

what is best for you. So I

1:21:19

am telling you. Which is that dad

1:21:21

doesn't have depth perception anymore. Oh boy.

1:21:23

Your dad, you know, he's such a

1:21:26

softie and He sees this side of

1:21:28

him in you. He's always the one

1:21:30

who wanted to be lenient with you

1:21:32

I've always thought you've responded to a

1:21:34

firmer hand more than the soft touch

1:21:36

So here's how it is Francis you

1:21:38

see this mark on your hand and

1:21:40

she points at the spiral. That's called

1:21:42

a glyph. That's how when your father

1:21:44

and I need to track someone in

1:21:46

the astral realm we burn them with

1:21:48

this glyph and then we know where

1:21:50

they are when we are flying through

1:21:52

the cosmos we can track them down

1:21:54

which is now I know right now

1:21:56

you are Blake Lively's house over on

1:21:58

L Street, which is how the squad

1:22:00

of armed men that are now surrounding

1:22:02

this house know where you are. So

1:22:04

here are your options, young man. You

1:22:06

can either come outside on your own

1:22:08

right now and accept the plan, the

1:22:10

program that your father and I have

1:22:12

worked very hard to set out for

1:22:14

you to make sure that you can

1:22:16

survive and thrive, or you can stay

1:22:18

in there and die with your friends.

1:22:20

If you leave with us, that'll be

1:22:23

it. We will leave them alone. I

1:22:25

frankly don't give a shit about what

1:22:27

happens to them. You can come with

1:22:29

us or you can be responsible for

1:22:31

all of them dying. So what would

1:22:33

you like to do? I want to

1:22:35

wake up. That's not an option. I'm

1:22:37

your mother. I mean, you needed to

1:22:39

do that in real life no matter

1:22:41

what. Francis, I have a tough time

1:22:43

trusting you right now. I will exit

1:22:45

the house alone. Are you lying to

1:22:47

her? No. Okay, young man. I'm going

1:22:49

to her. I'm going to her. I'm

1:22:51

going to her. I'm going to her.

1:22:53

I'm going to her. watching as those

1:22:55

men drag you out of their kicking

1:22:57

screaming, okay? Okay, she snaps her fingers

1:22:59

and you wake up, it's the middle

1:23:01

of the night. I'm gonna sneak into

1:23:03

Kelsey's room and steal the key to

1:23:05

the lock on Brunhilda. Unfortunately, in the

1:23:07

last episode, Trudy ate it. Okay, then

1:23:09

I'm gonna go to Trudy. You need

1:23:11

to come to me, the plumber. Okay,

1:23:13

you go to Trudy's room? Yeah. Have

1:23:15

I seen the mole that opens her

1:23:18

up? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, what

1:23:20

can say that? Then I press that

1:23:22

mole. So her. Hello? She's like, hi.

1:23:24

I mean, I don't want to get

1:23:26

weird about this, but like she's wearing

1:23:28

clothes. So like you see this plate

1:23:30

on her chest pop open a little

1:23:32

bit and it stretches against her clothes

1:23:34

and then Trudy wakes up. Real quick,

1:23:36

I don't believe you. I'll give it

1:23:38

back to you. I don't believe you.

1:23:40

What do you need it for? Tell

1:23:42

me what you need it for. I'm

1:23:44

going to get the lock off of

1:23:46

Bruni. Why would you need to do

1:23:48

that, Francis? I don't really have time

1:23:50

to explain. Currently, this house is surrounded

1:23:52

and there's one way I can make

1:23:54

sure that you guys don't die in

1:23:56

the process. All I need is the

1:23:58

key. I'm going to leave the house

1:24:00

on my own, but I'm not going

1:24:02

to go with them. I promise. With

1:24:04

who? The project heartland people. They can

1:24:06

track me through their dreams. How? Because

1:24:08

the thing on my arm, my family

1:24:10

can astral project. We're weird. You know

1:24:12

what? You're talking to robot lady here,

1:24:15

so I get all about weird. And

1:24:17

you understand why I need to get

1:24:19

this gun up on. Blake's house is

1:24:21

really surrounded? Yes. Okay. Oh, you want

1:24:23

the key? Yeah. I'm going to take

1:24:25

the key. I'm going to wait the

1:24:27

others and we'll get help. And we've

1:24:29

got a staff of 15 people. They're

1:24:31

going to attack the second they know

1:24:33

all of you are awake. This is

1:24:35

the one mobile we have where I

1:24:37

can surprise them, rather that they can't

1:24:39

ambush you. I'm going to be okay.

1:24:41

They need me alive for the whole

1:24:43

project, so they're not going to hurt

1:24:45

me. But what if they take you?

1:24:47

What if they steal you? Kidnap you.

1:24:49

If they can find me through the

1:24:51

thing on my hand, that means you

1:24:53

can probably find a way to find

1:24:55

me too. How? You'll figure that. I

1:24:57

believe in you, Francis. I think you

1:24:59

will make the right choice. I hope

1:25:01

you will. And I'm going to give

1:25:03

you the key. Thank you, Trudie. I

1:25:05

really appreciate it. And Francis gives her

1:25:07

a hug. You can go back to

1:25:09

sleep now. And she turns around. I

1:25:12

think I've made a horrible mistake. Francis

1:25:14

heads down the stairs as he does.

1:25:16

He puts the key in the lock

1:25:18

and puts the lock in his pocket.

1:25:20

You made a good choice, Francis. Let's

1:25:22

go make music together, friend. Yeah. He

1:25:24

opens up the front door, and steps

1:25:26

outside and closes the front door behind

1:25:28

him. Do a strength check on the

1:25:30

size of the front door. He has

1:25:32

some math. of door opens. the

1:25:34

the second you

1:25:36

step outside, you see

1:25:38

bison step out of

1:25:40

the shadows. The two

1:25:42

guys on the

1:25:44

right and left have

1:25:46

left have flame They're ready

1:25:48

to fuck this

1:25:50

place up. And the

1:25:52

one in the

1:25:54

front and the up towards

1:25:56

you steps they reach

1:25:58

out your hand

1:26:00

and you see a

1:26:02

spiral you mark on

1:26:04

their arm as

1:26:07

well. And you realize

1:26:09

this is your

1:26:11

mother. you I put

1:26:13

the gun to my

1:26:15

head and I

1:26:17

pull the trigger. the gun

1:26:19

to my head and I pull the

1:26:21

trigger. What? Mother,

1:26:40

me. I

1:26:51

am the broken

1:26:53

sky, all I

1:26:55

ever wanted was

1:26:58

to feel so

1:27:00

ordinary. In

1:27:03

a world that

1:27:05

lies twisted in my

1:27:07

mind and now

1:27:09

I'm gone. All

1:27:13

that I can see is

1:27:15

a hole in the stars.

1:27:20

Swallowing my dreams and

1:27:23

making them scars. Too

1:27:25

far, too far away.

1:27:29

I'll stay today.

1:27:35

Thanks much for listening

1:27:37

and supporting and supporting

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well as bonus bonus mini series

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we play the

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extremely weird, extremely expensive

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board game board game kingdom death

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monster the lore this one

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runs mad deep And if you're

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is a series for you. Plus, Matt Post

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say it. I've met the two mats

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by Max and Waller, Brian Fernandez is our

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and... Pal Pixie, Mackenzie Coduity, Sydney Shriver, Reicard,

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Com. Mad My first movie, we're all

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gonna die movie. We're all gonna die,

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And I'll stay Today

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We that! Comedy podcast!

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We can't that! be what to do. well that's

1:30:19

the end of the episode, right? right?

1:30:22

Yep.