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2:38

I'm joined by my very good

2:40

friend, my amazing teacher, Mark Persa.

2:42

How are you Mark? I'm wonderful,

2:44

Danny. Is it too early to

2:46

say Merry Christmas? No, no, we're

2:48

merely days away, my friend. Let

2:51

it be Mary. Let it be

2:53

Mary. And peaceful, and jovial, and

2:55

joyful, and calm and contented. Yes,

2:57

let it be all the things.

2:59

Hopefully, hopefully if we maintain some

3:01

good practices, it might be all

3:03

those things perhaps. Yes, it can

3:05

be a trepiditious time for some.

3:08

Absolutely, good word. Good one, I

3:10

love to throw those big words

3:12

in every now and thank you

3:14

for giving me the opportunity to

3:16

use them. So how are you

3:18

doing leading up to Christmas? Are

3:20

you kind of doubling down in

3:22

your practices or it just evens

3:25

out? How do you handle this

3:27

time of year? I have made

3:29

a really conscious effort over an

3:31

extended period of time to not

3:33

buy into Christmas woo-ha. So I'm

3:35

generally okay. I like this time

3:37

of year. I feel like it's

3:39

if I do it in a

3:42

way that feels correct and nourishing

3:44

for me. then it's fantastic. I'm

3:46

excited. I was just saying to

3:48

you before, I'm about to have

3:50

a holiday. I'm going over to

3:52

Morton Island. But yeah, it's a

3:54

difficult time. It has been in

3:56

the past a very challenging time,

3:59

but I would say now, not

4:01

so much. Yeah. Do you attribute

4:03

that to having steady practices? Yes,

4:05

absolutely. Like having that steadiness as

4:07

you come in to the period.

4:09

And look, I've had some really

4:11

challenging Christmases over the last however

4:13

many years. I don't see a

4:16

lot of alcohol in my life.

4:18

Danny, not a lot of the

4:20

people in my close circle drink

4:22

a lot. If I'm honest, that's

4:24

conscious choice. So when I do

4:26

see alcohol. it's at a family

4:28

occasion and Christmas being a very

4:30

much a family occasion often depending

4:32

if I'm doing the full wham-bam

4:35

family Christmas there's a lot of

4:37

alcohol involved which it's not the

4:39

vibe I want to hang out

4:41

with but you know I also

4:43

want to be a member of

4:45

my family I love my family

4:47

I really passionate about being a

4:49

part of that and having compassion

4:52

and tolerance for other people's boozy

4:54

ways. It's part of it. So

4:56

going into those times I've always

4:58

been really mindful about prepping myself,

5:00

looking after myself during the events

5:02

because they tend to roll on

5:04

for days and managing my nervous

5:06

system. That's so good. Managing your

5:09

nervous system and nourishing and looking

5:11

after yourself during the event. So

5:13

what does that look like for

5:15

you Mark to actually be able

5:17

to nourish? and look after yourself

5:19

during the events. Well the big

5:21

thing for me is I want

5:23

it to be fun. I want

5:26

to have a good time. I'm

5:28

not just there to fill a

5:30

seat. I want to have a

5:32

good time and people who are

5:34

drinking alcohol generally focusing on themselves

5:36

having a good time and they

5:38

can ignore the needs of those

5:40

who aren't partaking. So having something

5:43

nice to consume, a nice drink,

5:45

a nice food, I really enjoy

5:47

the food, I often... usually not

5:49

often always eat too much of

5:51

it so I need to be

5:53

careful there because I can substitute

5:55

my boozing for binge eating and

5:57

that extra slice of everything basically.

6:00

But I but I want it to be a beautiful time. time.

6:02

Thankfully, got a lot of kids in

6:04

my family. They don't drink. don't So I hang

6:06

out with the kids a lot. I have a

6:08

great time with the kids with the kids. And I'm role modeling.

6:11

This is what it looks This is what it looks

6:13

like for an adult who doesn't drink. I

6:15

had those adults when I I had those

6:17

adults when I was younger. There was a few

6:20

members of my family who didn't drink. I had

6:22

a a cousin a bit older than me and an

6:24

uncle who was sober. was And I got to see

6:26

what it looked like. like. which was a really

6:28

important role model I got to

6:30

set. they were having fun. fun. They were They

6:32

were healthy and fit in their life

6:34

and that in their life, that was really

6:36

inspiring for me. So I'm that person

6:38

now. That's when I come into these events.

6:40

That's really cool actually see see yourself and

6:42

that actually puts you in a

6:44

different position doesn't it it you actually

6:47

can go go I'm actually going to go

6:49

into this and be the role

6:51

model model. and be be the person

6:53

that the kids can look up to

6:55

and that the young teenagers or the older

6:57

teenagers can look up to and even

6:59

older people than me than I can go

7:01

in as this role model. role model and it suddenly

7:03

it changes the position I think from

7:06

you being this sort of like, oh

7:08

no I I can't drink to actually I'm

7:10

choosing this, in I'm I'm being emboldened by

7:12

this this is going to is gonna send

7:14

out a ripple effect throughout the family. I

7:16

think that's really fucking cool. A new way

7:18

of seeing it. it. Yeah, Yeah, definitely. I

7:20

did I did have so a relative of so a

7:22

relative of someone married into the family,

7:24

et cetera, one at one of these big

7:26

family occasions who came up to me a

7:29

few years ago and said, I'm really

7:31

interested in sobriety. I know you've been sober

7:33

for a while and I'm really interested. a

7:35

while and I'm really more. to

7:37

know more. I explained a little bit about

7:39

my journey with my journey and I

7:41

also mentioned this podcast. also mentioned this podcast.

7:44

And two years later, maybe they can't just

7:46

in. I've been sober for a year.

7:48

I've been listening to this podcast. podcast.

7:50

so that stuff drops in. know, know, that

7:52

was my only contact. That That person

7:54

had connected with the podcast and

7:56

came back a year later. was Those

7:58

those messages are important. We

8:00

shine a light even though We don't

8:02

see our own light sometimes we are

8:05

shining a lot. Yes, absolutely. I love

8:07

that I love that so be the

8:09

shining light and be this and I

8:11

love what you said to about showing

8:14

up and being fit and being connected

8:16

and being grounded in yourself. That really

8:18

just sets this stage for this is

8:20

how it can be. It's not like

8:23

me sitting in a corner being all

8:25

like, sorry for myself. It's actually I

8:27

get to show up as this version

8:30

of myself and it's pretty fucking cool

8:32

actually. It's very cool. Ultra cool. It's

8:34

the cool you being the most authentic

8:36

version of yourself is the coolest thing

8:39

there is. Yes. Nothing cool out. Absolutely.

8:41

And as you say, and be that

8:43

shining light for everyone else. So Mark,

8:45

also just being able to be there,

8:48

to be this fit person, to be

8:50

the one having fun, to be the

8:52

yogi that's grounded and centered, but also

8:54

this person that's, I've got my shit

8:57

together and I don't have to be

8:59

this other version. There's another way of

9:01

being, and I can show up, and

9:04

I just find that really optimistic and

9:06

really positive way of going into your

9:08

Christmas. being optimistic for me it's it's

9:10

the ultimate quality how can I make

9:13

the situation better I'm coming into Christmas

9:15

I'm coming into whatever it is and

9:17

I think that's the Christmas spirit right

9:19

you know how do I make this

9:22

world a better place yeah I love

9:24

that so be the anchor guys and

9:26

show a new way of being if

9:29

that it has been the norm in

9:31

your family that you can show up

9:33

differently you can do things differently and

9:35

it can do things differently and it

9:38

can look pretty bloody good to be

9:40

sober at Christmas and to bring everyone

9:42

together I think there's nothing more beautiful

9:44

than that and show others that this

9:47

is the way that we can steer

9:49

the shit without being a judgmental fucker

9:51

without pointing the finger you don't have

9:53

to do that you can just be

9:56

when you just show up and you

9:58

be yourself that says enough you know

10:00

the next day it says enough speaks

10:03

volumes it's incredibly powerful the next day

10:05

absolutely mark would you mind just sharing

10:07

a one or two minute practice that

10:09

someone could do to anchor themselves if

10:12

they are noticing their trauma being tickled.

10:14

Okay, well look I'm just going to

10:16

refer back to a simple breathwork practice

10:18

which I would love everybody at least

10:21

some of some people out there to

10:23

take on board to show could be

10:25

your Christmas activity and I did this

10:28

last year of the year before and

10:30

my family Christmas like everyone's I saw

10:32

here watching you guys drink, why don't

10:34

you join me for like two minutes

10:37

and partake in a really simple breathing

10:39

practice which is going to change your

10:41

nervous system? My theory is that anybody

10:43

can learn this in two minutes and

10:46

everybody can show somebody and it's balloon

10:48

breathing so we're breathing into our belly.

10:50

I know you know this one. well

10:52

dandy but we're putting our hands around

10:55

our waist or maybe the hands just

10:57

on the belly and imagine that you

10:59

have a balloon in your belly and

11:02

you're filling the balloon up with your

11:04

breath so we always start with an

11:06

exhale release the breath and now taking

11:08

a big slow sip of breath deep

11:11

inhalation and filling up your balloon you

11:13

could take a couple of sips fill

11:15

it up a little more And

11:19

then gently exhale. You can exhale

11:21

through the nose or through the

11:23

mouth. And just closing your eyes,

11:25

if that's comfortable, using the hands,

11:28

really feeling the diaphragm if you

11:30

can, which expands as you inhale,

11:32

filling that belly up. And then

11:34

gently exhale. Really is that simple.

11:36

You could show. somebody at your

11:38

Christmas lunch that practice. Yeah, that's

11:41

so beautiful. So simple and effective.

11:43

Past the parcel. Yeah, that's great.

11:45

I love that practice. I remember

11:47

you said when I did the

11:49

teacher training with you that... you'd

11:51

worked with a

11:54

psychiatrist who who

11:56

he found that that

11:58

all the practices he

12:00

found that to

12:02

be the most

12:05

beneficial for his

12:07

for his patients. Yeah because it

12:09

brings you into regulation

12:11

so quickly. so quickly and so And

12:13

so many people are breathing badly. if

12:15

If you see people who are

12:17

in a state of anxiety, you'll see

12:20

the breath is usually caught up

12:22

in the chest. caught up in the chest so that's activating

12:24

your your sympathetic nervous system, making you

12:26

more anxious. And so you can so

12:28

you can yourself yourself by doing the opposite

12:30

of that breathing into your belly,

12:32

this balloon breath we just did, breath

12:34

and immediately calms you. calms you can change

12:36

the change the world. This is the

12:38

ripple effect. This is you you light. by doing

12:40

it doing it yourself, yourself and you And you

12:42

can sit there at the Christmas table. If

12:45

everyone's losing their marbles and just sit

12:47

there quietly, hand on your belly or

12:49

not, just just on breathing into that

12:51

balloon, that filling up that balloon. that You

12:54

can do it in a car a car

12:56

train. No one needs to know you're

12:58

doing it. It's your little secret to your little

13:00

breath work secret but it works incredibly

13:02

powerful works that's powerful tool yeah way

13:04

to anchor yourself way to to teach

13:06

that to people around you

13:08

on Christmas. on Christmas day Christmas lunch that's beautiful.

13:10

Or do it in the car

13:12

before you you actually get in

13:14

there. I hope you well. well. beautiful.

13:17

Thank you, Mark. You are

13:19

a wonderful anchor. You are

13:21

a wonderful teacher, a beautiful

13:23

friend, and I thank you for your

13:25

time time and your presence in my life

13:27

has been life -changing for me, so

13:29

thank you much. life My pleasure. me.

13:31

Merry Christmas, so much. Thank you.

13:33

Thank you so much for

13:36

shining your light, and big

13:38

congrats for for... I described this

13:40

earlier this earlier calendar of podcasts

13:42

of you're putting out.

13:45

out. very cool. cool.

13:47

That's some some tenacity right

13:49

there. on you Good on you for showing

13:51

up. You are you. You are shining

13:53

a That's ripple effect. You're a lot

13:55

effect. Your but light's big, but it just

13:57

filters out into all of me.

14:00

and so many other people who listen

14:02

to this podcast to can pass the

14:04

parcel, share the wisdom know just know

14:06

that we're not alone. I think

14:08

that's a really big part of it.

14:10

it. Yeah, Yeah, that's right. We're not

14:12

alone, that's exactly right. Thanks, Thanks, I'll

14:14

see you in I'll see I'll be on

14:16

your yoga teacher on in April. see

14:18

you before that, I I'm sure. before

14:20

sure I'll see you before that. I'll

14:22

Wonderful. Thank you for anyone who wants

14:24

to reach out to Mark anyone I'll

14:26

put links in the show notes.

14:28

Thanks, my friend. See you you're going

14:30

to enjoy Whaton my friend. See you soon, enjoy

14:32

Christmas. Bye. Yeah. Very Christmas. You

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